words in movies
Written by: Doty Abrams Transcribed by: Eric Aasen Episodes Orginally Transcribed by: Eric Aasen, guineapig, Josh Hodge, Aaron D. Howard-Miller, and Kiza Abuzahra.
Ross: Whyd you say no?
Rachel: Oh yeah, Id actually love a blueberry muffin and a chamomile tea.
The Interviewer: Understood. So, whatd you say back then?
Joey: Id seen this thing on The Discovery Channel...
Joey: Thats right I stepped up! Shes my friend and she needed help! And if I had too, Id pee on anyone of you!
Joey: Id love to show ya, but I just tucked her in. Shes sleeping. (The women both laugh) Hey uh, would you two girls like to go for a drink? (Just then the same guy with the football dives to make a catch, lands on the car cover, and collapses it. It turns out that Joey set up a bunch of boxes to make it look like a Porsche.)
Ross: When you put a D at the end of Fine youre not fine.
Phoebe: (singing) I found you in my bed! Howd you whined up there? You are a mystery! Little black curly hair! Little black curly hair! Little black, little black, little black, little black, little black curly hair
Sarah: Yeah. My Dad says if I spend as much time helping him clean apartments, as I do daydreaming about outer space, hed be able to afford a trip to the Taj Mahal.
Rachel: Whatd you get?
Chandler: Id be sad sure, but I wouldnt cry.
Joey: All right well, Id better take that back.
Buffay, the Vampire Layer: Ah, I thought Id find you here, Nasforatool.
Ross: Well, Id love to! Here, you wait right here and Ill go get the projector and my notes!
Ross: Yeah? Oh-oh, shed be so excited!
Ross: I know what you mean, Ive always wondered how different my life would be if-if Id never gotten divorced.
Chandler: What if I had had the guts to quit my job? Id probably be writing for the New Yorker, getting paid to be funny. But my jobs fun too! I mean tomorrow, I-I dont have to wear a tie.
Rachel: (Reading) Dear losers, do you really think Id hide presents under the couch? P.S. Chandler, I knew theyd break you.
Chandler: Id love it if you would do it.
Carol: (opening the door) Susan! Hi! (Whod you think it was gonna be?)
Chandler: Hey, buddy boy, howd the audition go?
Chandler: Well, stuff like whered we live, yknow? Like a small place outside the city, where our kids could learn to ride their bikes and stuff. Yknow, we could have a cat that had a bell on its collar and we could hear it every time it ran through the little kitty door. Of course, wed have an apartment over the garage where Joey could grow old.
Ross: Okay. (He leans in to kiss her again, but she leans back preventing him from making contact.) Wow, its-its 5:30 in the morning. (Rachel laughs) So, Id better get cracking on this baby.
Joey: (to the receptionist) Hi uh, Im Joey Tribbiani and with all do respect Id like to donate some fluids.
Phoebe: I thought Id try to take a walk. Would you pour me some water? Ill be back soon.
Chandler: Hey! Howd the audition go?
Joey: Theres just so much pressure. I mean no offense, but what you guys do is very different. I dont know if youd understand.
Phoebe: I thought you were excellent! In fact for a minute there I was like, "Ooh, whered Ross go?"
Monica: How crazy that wed run into you!
Ross: Kristen, hi. Are you uh, new to the area, cause if you are Id love to show you around sometime.
Kristen: Oh Id like that.
Phoebe: (gasps) Ohh, okay maybe they put your picture back up they can put you next to Matt Lauer. Look at him, smiling at me. (Giggles) Yeah I know; wed be great together!
Chandler: Well, I suppose Id have to say you!! But, what if were watching a movie in here?
The Woman: Wow you look so beautiful! If I knew you, Id cry.
Ross: Phoebe, whyd you do it?
Phoebe: Okay umm, Id also like to try on the tiara. (The male jeweler hands it to her.) Oh yeah. Okay. (Puts it on.) (To the jeweler) What do you think, too much?
Phoebe: Do you think thats something that hed be mad at you for?
Joey: (pretending to be an announcer) And the winner is Joey Tribbiani! (He then gets excited and goes over to the counter to practice his acceptance speech using a bottle of maple syrup as the award.) Oh Wow! I honestly never expected this. I uh, I didnt prepare a speech. But umm, Id like to thank (Rachel enters quietly) my parents, whove always been there for me. Id also like to thank my friends, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, Rachel
Ross: Oh, thanks. Yeah, I really thought wed be able to make it work, but uh, I guess it just wasnt meant to be.
Mr. Bowmont: I dont think shed like that.
Chandler: But I am willing to offer her all those things. This was just a plan, yknow? A way to throw her off course so that when I offered her all these things, shed be surprised!
Chandler: Well, whatd you do?
Mr. Geller: (ignoring her) Well, Id gotten Judy pregnant. I still dont know that happened.
Mrs. Geller: Well it was Chandler! We didnt think hed ever propose!
Joey: Id say, come again. No-no, wait I-I-I know this one, I know this one, uh
Ross: Once Monica was sent to her room without dinner, so she ate the macaroni off a jewelry box shed made.
Ross: Cause otherwise theyd have to call it the room room.
Tag: Id love to ask out your friend Phoebe.
Chandler: If marriage worked, Id be all for it. But do you know what the divorce rate in this country is? 97%.
Ross: (in his head) Shes your cousin. Shes your cousin! If she knew what was going on in your head shed think you were sick! (She grabs some popcorn.) Or would she? Lets back up a second. She was the one who suggested opening a bottle of wine. She was the one who turned down the lights. She was the one that wanted to rent Logans Run, the sexiest movie ever. (She grabs the blanket from behind him and looks at him.) Oh, I know that look. Forget it. I want it. She wants it. Im going in.
Phoebe: Yeah, I Well yknow I-I mean I missed the-the semi-finals, so Id just be lost.
Rachel: Id love to!
Chandler: Whend you meet her?
Chandler: Hi! Howd it go?
Rachel: Hi! (He hands her, her mail) Thanks, hey so uh whatd you do last night?
Joey: Yeah. Yep. Yeah. All right, well uh, Id better go.
Chandler: Whatd you rent?
Tag: Are you kidding me?! With a cute butt like this, Id find work.
Chandler: Id carry you around in my pocket.
Rachel: OH MY GOD!!! (She holds her hands up in triumph and the gang all look at her.) Sorry, I was just imagining what itd be like to catch the money bouquet.
Joey: YeahHey, dont worry, shes a terrific girl. And hey listen, could you do me a favor? When she comes out could you just mention that Im not looking for a serious relationship; thatd be great.
Joey: Fine! (Pause) Now, whered we land on those pancakes? (She chases him out the door as his date emerges from the bathroom.)
Mr. Zelner: Uh actually, Id like to speak with both of you.
Tag: Id better get back to my desk.
Phoebe: And yknow, even if they break up again, youd better not let him in your sad mens club!
Phoebe: I cant believe it! I did it! I rode a bike! I never thought Id be able to do that! Thank you Ross.
Chandler: Well, cause she came back the third summer and shed gotten really fa-aa-aw-ow
Joey: Wow, thats in like 20 minutes. Youd better get dressed.
Chandler: Hey, yknow what we can do? Yknow, now that we are up? We can just like talk to each other all night long, yknow like we did when we were first going out. Itd be fun!
Earl: No! Thats just the "Hey Guy" guy. He says that to everybody! Hes the worst! Id like to take him with me!
Mrs. Geller: Were sorry honey, but we just assumed if you got married after you turned 30 youd pay for it yourself.
Chandler: Yeah, Id love to but Ive tried that so many times they wont even let me in the store anymore.
Tag: Why? What youd do?
Rachel: No, so I dont have to get married until Im 33! Thats three years, thats three whole yearsOh, wait a minute though. Ill need a year and a half to plan the wedding, and Id like to know the guy for a year, year and a half before we get engaged Which means I need to meet the guy by the time Im thirty.
Phoebe: If you could do that, Id marry the hippity-hop.
Rachel: Well yknow, we would umm, repeat everything the other said, or uh, wed jump out of closets to scare each other, or switch the sugar for the salt so theyd put salt on their cereal.
Rachel: Yeah! (Breaking up) And until now, I didnt think Id love again.
Chandler: Sorry, I just dont like the idea of when I say, "I do," hes thinking, "Yeah, Id do her too!"
Chandler: Hey! Howd it go?
Chandler: You dont want to be guys, youd be all hairy and wouldnt live as long. (Starts to go to his bedroom)
Morse: Whatd I get?
Phoebe: Oh thatd be me. Sir. (Hands him the cell phone.) After you.
Joey: Howd you get over that teacher?
Monica: Hey! Howd your date go with Jake?
Ross: Laugh all you want but uh, she actually left me a message saying shed like to go out again.
Monica: No, a guy would be saying, "Im never gonna get to sleep with anyone else." Oh my God! Im never gonna get to sleep with anyone else! Ive been so busy planning the wedding that I forgot about all the things that Id be giving up! I mean, I Im never gonna have a first kiss again.
Monica: I cant! I spent so much money on them and I told Chandler that Id wear them all the time, I just cant give them away!
Woman: Thatd be great, thanks. (Gunther goes and gets them.)
Chloe: Relax. Its just Issacs D.J.-ing at the Philly. You should come.
Rachel: Yes, it bothers me Ross, but y'know if he was a regular at the coffee house, Id be serving him sneezers.
Helena: Well I wouldnt miss it for the world. Oh! Im getting all misty here! Youd think I was having my legs waxed or something. (Goes back on stage.)
Phoebe: Yeah, yknow what I noticed Rachel? He scares easy. Is that the kind of guy youd like to take to a ball? "Hey Sebastian, would you like to dance?" (Imitates him.) "Uhh, okayI gotta go!"
Man: Sure, Id like that.
Ross: Look, if youd had two failed marriages, youd understand!
Alice: Weve been trying to get pregnant, uh pretty much ever since we got engaged, we thought wed get a jump on things, yknow no ones getting any younger.
Monica: Then youd be going back and forth all the time, I mean it doesnt make any sense.
Mr. Geller: Way to go son! I knew youd find him!
Chandler: Wait! Wait! Wed really love it if you could be there.
Monica: Hey! Okay, so I thought wed start with my make up and then do my hair.
Richard: Of course! Im-Im sorry. I-Id hate you to miss anything like that on account of me. I can do this!
Joey: Well, Id like to think there was something for everyone. Look, I know youre casting for this new show
Mona: Id be happy to. (To Ross) You are very sweet.
Monica: Hey! Howd it go?
Chandler: Id better go pack.
Joey: Yeah? I just figured yknow, after living with you itd be an interesting change of pace to have a female roommate, yknow? Someone I can learn from, someone-someone whos different than me. And whats more different than me; a guy whos not 19 than say a girl who is 19? Enh? (Points to his head.) Not just a hat rack my friend!
Joey: Yeah and wed go check it out, but you took away our keys.