words in movies
Monica: Excuse me? He doesnt even know what hes doing!
Chandler: Yeah I gotta say thank you, I was really nervous. Yknow Ive been told I come on to strong, make to many jokes, and then it was really hard to sidestep that duty thing. (The interviewer doesnt understand) Duties. (Still doesnt.) Duties! (Still doesnt.) Poo. (Still doesnt.)
Chandler: Oh my God this doesnt count! Okay? The interview was over, that was the real Chandler Bing in there, this is just some crazy guy out in the hall! Call security! Theres a crazy guy out in the hall!
(They both laugh. Ross sits down, but Rachel doesnt move and is lost in thought.)
Ross: Ohh. (He drops the shoes, takes the brush from her, and licks the tip. He doesnt like how it tastes.)
Monica: I cant believe you. You still havent told that girl she doesnt have a job yet?
Chandler: Wow! She looks great. Doesnt she?
Monica: So big deal, so Joeys had a lot of girlfriends, it doesnt mean hes great in bed.
Rachel: Really? It doesnt seem desperate?
Chandler: Maybe, she doesnt hit him all the time.
Monica: What, he doesnt like Josh?
Rachel: But, Pheebs, you can still use the copy machine where I actually work. But, just come by at lunch so my boss doesnt see you. Cause Kim will just freak out and she already doesnt like me very much.
Joey: Look, its not about her. Okay? But seeing you two together just reminds me of what you did. And I dont want to live with some one who doesnt know what it is to be a friend. So, Ill see ya. (He starts to leave, but Chandler grabs his bag and stops him.)
Joey: You are so the man! (motions him to come in, and he does) Now look, listen, listen, you got to be cool, cause my Grandma doesnt know about you two yet, and you do not want to tick her off. She was like the sixth person to spit on Mussolini's hanging body. Yeah.
Chandler: Okay, okay, here she comes! (Sits on the couch next to him.) How do I look? Do I look like a guy who doesnt want to get married?
Phoebe: Ooh-Ooh! I did it! I did it! I figured out a way to make money! Im gonna open up my own massage place and Franks gonna help me! And! We can work it around his schedule so he doesnt have to quit school!
Chandler: Hey, yknow what, if youre gonna do that, if youre gonna name him Joey, you should name him Chandler. (Phoebe doesnt think so.) Oh, come on! Chandlers funny, sophisticated, and hes very loveable, once you get to know him.
Rachel: Yknow who doesnt even like dirty movies? My new boyfriend Joshua.
Chandler: Oh no-no-no I was just squinting. That doesnt mean anything.
Chandler: Santa pants. (Phoebe still doesnt get it.) Santa Clauss pants.
Chandler: Yeah, it was time. The old condom ring in the leather just doesnt say cool anymore.
Phoebe: God. Do think it really doesnt hurt? Cause how can they do that?
Joey: Chandler, look theyre actors. Theyre there to do a job, just cause they work together, doesnt mean theyre gonna get together. I mean just cause it happened with Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins, it doesnt mean its gonna happen with them.
Ross: Um-hmm! Doesnt that sound delicious at the last minute?
Joey: Yeah, but what if he doesnt? Hes such a good duck.
Joey: Hey, (realises he doesnt know her name.) stripper! (He notices that the ring box is open, so he picks it up, sees its empty and starts to panic.)
Rachel: (crying) No. I cant, youre a totally different person to me now. I used to think of you as somebody that would never, ever hurt me, ever. God, and now I just cant stop picturing with her, I cant, (Ross stands up and backs away) it doesnt matter what you say, or what you do, Ross. Its just changed, everything. Forever.
Joey: So! Things can go wrong! You dont know! What if he doesnt make it?!
Phoebe: Hey, Joey! Hey! Ooh! Ooh! I just say someone on thethat looks just like you on the subway. And I was gonna go over and say hi! but then I figured, he doesnt care if he looks like you.
Phoebe: Oh no, Ross doesnt know anything.
Rachel: And hey! Just so you know, its not that common! It doesnt happen to every guy! And it is a big deal!!
Emily: And that big bloke with the beard, he has got a trick hip. Yeah. And uh, and David over there, I heard he doesnt wear a cup.
Rachel: And hey! Just so you know, its not that common! It doesnt happen to every guy! And it is a big deal!!
(He looks to Chandler, who doesnt have a clue.)
Rachel: Come on see, she doesnt look that bad.
Monica: Okay, just stay there a couple more hours and if she doesnt show up by then, then just come on home.
Joey: Doesnt seem like it's going to work, I mean
Joey: I dont get it! It was in my room all night! And if she didnt take it, and I didnt take it; and you (Chandler) didnt take it, then who did? (The duck quacks.) Shh! Were trying to think! (Ross and Chandler realise it at the same moment and stare at Joey, who doesnt get it. After a short pause, with the duck still quacking, Joey figures it out and starts pointing at the duck.)
Monica: Were not gonna have sex! Okay, nothings changed here. He still doesnt want children and I still do, so thats why were just gonna be friends.
Ross: To be fair, he doesnt seem to be impersonating Fonzie
Rachel: Phoebe, Im going to Rosss wedding because he is my ex-boyfriend and that would be really uncomfortable. Not because, Im still in love with him! I mean, hey, yknow, I like Ross as much as the next guy, yknow? Clearly I have feelings for him, but feelings dont mean love! I mean, I still have loving feelings for Ross. Yeah! But, I have, I have continuing feelings of love, but that doesnt mean that-that Im still in love with him. Yknow? I-I have sexual feelings for him, but I do love himOhh! Oh my God! Oh mywhy didnt you tell me?!!
Chandler: It just doesnt feel like were breaking up.
Joey: Well, I figured were in another country, so it doesnt count.
Phoebe: Y'know what, it doesnt matter what you say it's not gonna make a difference anyway, so you can just go.
Monica: No, no its going to be great. Really! Mom, Dad, when I got married, one of the things that made me sure I could do it was the amazing example the two of you set for me. For that and so many other things I want to say thank you. I know I probably dont say it enough, but I love you. (Pretends to cry hoping her parents will join her.) When I look around this room, Im-Im saddened by the thought of those who could not be here with us. Nana, my beloved grandmother who would so want to be here, but she cant because shes dead. As is our dog Chi-Chi. I mean look how cute she is. (Holds up the picture and pretends to cry again). Was. (To an old man by the stage.) Do me a favor and pass this to my parents. Remember shes dead. Okay, her and Nana, gone. Wow! Hey does anybody remember when Debra Winger had to say goodbye to her children in Terms of Endearment? (Chandler covers his ears) Didnt see that? No movie fans?! You want to hear something sad? The other day I was watching 60 Minutes these orphans in Romania, who have been so neglected, they were incapable of love. (Waits for people to cry, but doesnt get any tears.) You people are made of stone! Heres to mom and dad! Whatever!
Joey: It-it doesnt?
Monica: Wait, Joey! Joey! That doesnt mean that-that you're in love with me!
Monica: All right! Okay, its just Phoebe. Wills still on a diet, Chandler doesnt eat Thanksgiving food, and Rachels having her aversion to poultry.
Joey: Do you know how hard this is gonna be on him when he doesnt get it?
Joey: Oh it was great. Yeah, you get to say stuff like, Hey, the bell doesnt dismiss you, I dismiss you.
Phoebe: Oh, well, it doesnt have a nameoh, okay, Phoebeball! No, it doesnt have a name. Umm, okay, Monica, what is your favourite thing about trees?
Monica: Find some! Please! Anything that doesnt say I-I died tragically in France. (Joey leaves to find clothes.)
Rachel: Look he doesnt have any brothers or sisters, somebodys gonna have to teach him this stuff! And I havent taught him anything that a normal 6-year-old doesnt know anyway!
Rachel: Joey, just-just he-hes new in town and I know he doesnt have any guy friends. Just take him to like a ball game or something. Ill really appreciate it.
Rachel: No! Phoebe just because I'm alone doesnt mean I wanna walk around naked. I mean, you live alone, you don't walk around naked.
Rachel: Well, were a little early, the lecture doesnt end for 15 minutes.
Monica: Okay, I gotta go find Rachel but umm, if you guys see her could you please try to give her some really bad news so that mine doesnt seem so bad? (Exits.)
Chandler: (trying the handle) It still doesnt work.
Phoebe: Thousands of times!! That doesnt make me sound too good does it?
Monica: This doesnt mean anything, does it?
Phoebe: So okay what? Youre gonna be married to a girl who doesnt even know about it?!Op, woman! Sorry.
Monica: It doesnt say that!
(Rachel rips off another one, revealing another hole. Rachel then moves onto a third one, but this one doesnt have a hole underneath it.)
Monica: This doesnt feel weird!
Phoebe: Well, this doesnt have to be so sad though. Yknow? Maybe instead of just thinking about how much youre gonna miss each other, you should like think of the things youre not gonna miss.
Monica: Then youd be going back and forth all the time, I mean it doesnt make any sense.
Phoebe: Yknow it doesnt matter how much Im craving it. Yknow why Im never gonna eat meat? Because its murder, cold blooded murder.
Monica: Aw, Im sorry sweetie that she doesnt feel the same way.
Rachel: Oh, Kim, Hi. (Kim doesnt even look up from her report.)
Rachel: What are you talking about, Ross, you just said that you read it twice! Look, y'know what, either it does or it doesnt, and if you have to even think about it...
Phoebe: Yeah, Chandler why dont you take a walk? This doesnt concern you.
Phoebe: So that story doesnt make you cry?
Rachel: Oh honey he doesnt need my help.
Joey: Okay, I guess it doesnt seem that weird.
Monica: (wiping her nose) Are you saying that you dont wanna get with this? (Tries to do a little sexy body rub, but it doesnt work all that well with the big robe.)
Ross: She doesnt know she was fired yet, does she?
Monica: Maybe Joey doesnt have to give you the money, TV stars have assistants right?
Rachel: Oh, its a tattoo! Thats weird, Phoebe doesnt Wait thats Ursula! Thats not Phoebe that is Ursula!
Rachel: Well, it doesnt sound like it! I mean, its pretty easy not to kiss someone, you just dont kiss them! See look at us, right now, not kissing!
Monica: It was a mistake. Please dont take this to mean anything, because it doesnt.
Chandler: All right, now look at her and tell me she doesnt look exactly like her sister.
Rachel: And hey! Just so you know, its not that common! It doesnt happen to every guy! And it is a big deal!!
Ross: All right, you know that one was coming, but that doesnt mean you have unagi. (Does the finger thing.)
Kate: That info-mercial! For the milk carton spout thing! Youre-youre-youre the guy that doesnt know how to pour milk!!
Elizabeth: Yknow what daddy? If you dont like Ross, thats fine. It doesnt matter to me, Im gonna go out with him anyway.
Rachel: Oh. (Doesnt believe it.)
Phoebe: That doesnt lock does it?
Joey: Im sorry, it justI dont know it doesnt really look like it can do anything.
Ross: Well if it doesnt matter to her, it doesnt matter to me! (to Paul) Still not yelling!
Paul: Wow. What can I say? (Pause, pointing at Ross) This doesnt make me like you any better!
Chandler: No, Beth doesnt die, she doesnt die. Does she Rachel?
Chandler: Yes, if it really doesnt mean anything, because you know that Im just not ready
Rachel: Thats-thats great! See? I already feel like I know you a little better! Thank you. Okay, come on. Now we can go eat. Lets go. (Gets up to leave, but Paul doesnt move.)
Ross: Hey-hey, since youre the fix-it lady, heres a pickle, what do you do when the bride says she doesnt want to have the wedding at all?
Chandler: I just get mad when Rachel doesnt remember where were going.
Jill: Its probably because not mature enough. Or smart enough. Maybe he doesnt like the way I dressNo that cant be it. Its really gotta be the smart thing. Oh Im so stupid! Im just like this incredibly pretty stupid girl!
Joey: Oh, very funny. I dont know if you remember, but my audition was supposed to be Thursday. (Chandler doesnt say anything until Joey figures it out.) You got me the audition?! Lets hug it up! (They hug.)
Rachel: Okay, I think we can get the evaluation back before they see it, but were gonna have to get into Mr. Zelners office. Now, he doesnt get in until 10, so hes no problem, but his assistant, Betty, she comes in early to eat her breakfast at her desk.
Ross: Look lets not make a big deal out of this! It was a one time thing. It doesnt even matter!
Joey: Great. (He doesnt like it.) You got anything thats not Ralph Lauren?
Joey: Just casually slip it in, yknow lay the groundwork. Tell her uh, Im a lonerNo! An outlaw! Tell her she doesnt want to get mixed up with the likes of me.
Rachel: Oh! Yay! Look! Theres a piece that doesnt have floor on it!
Phoebe: Oh, okay I didnt get that message. So this doesnt countAnyway, Ill be in my office.
Phoebe: So what?! That doesnt give you the right to ditch me!