words in movies
Rachel: (laughs) Well okayWell dont ruin it! Just play along at least!
Joey: I dont know! Its not like its porn! This is a serious, legitimate movie. Yknow? And the nudity is really important to the story.
Phoebe: I dont know. (Timidly) A cowboy theme?
(Cassie enters from the guest room, with her hair up. The extremely beautiful and sexy Denise Richards is playing Cassie. Woo hoo! For those of you who dont know who she is, rent Wild Things and she was also the last Bond girl in The World Is Not Enough.)
Joey: I dont know! I really want this part! And they tell you no matter what you get asked at an audition you say yes. Like if-if they want you to ride a horse, you tell em you can! And just figure out how to do it later.
Rachel: Okay. Okay. All right, you take care of that. And meanwhile, the party is tomorrow and we still dont have a guest list.
Rachel: Well, I dont know. I called all the people in Monicas phone book and these are the only ones who could show up on 24 hours notice.
Phoebe and Rachel: (to each other) I dont know.
Monica: I also, did a little something in fur. But umm, thats really just for me. (Rubs it against her cheek.) Okay. So, why dont you go into your room and try these on and well seeget a better idea of whats gonna work.
Rachel: Yeah, we wanted to throw you a big surprise and a great shower, and now you dont have either.
Monica: Well now, I get to spend my shower with the only people I really love! I mean, I get all those presents (Motions to the pile in the corner) without having to talk to people I dont even like!
Joey: Oh! Hey right! Not a problem. (He starts taking off his clothes.) I totally understand. You need to yknow make sure I dont have any horrible scars or tattoos. Dont you worry; I have nothing to hide. (He drops his pants and stands back up and looks down.) So there you go, thats me. (We cut to a camera angle looking at the casting director and movie director through Joeys legs.) One hundred percent natural! (Suddenly, theres a thud as something falls off.) (Everyone is shocked.) I tell ya, that has never happened before.
Chandler and Phoebe: Ill be a fool for you. Im sure, you know I dont mind.
Rachel: Monica, I dont want to lose 200 dollars.
Phoebe: Okay, dont panic. Im gonna go to the store, Im gonna get you another set of nails, no ones gonna know, and youre gonna look great. (She runs over to get her coat.) Oh! Oh, its cause theyre gonna eatthats the problem.
Monica: (starting to cry) Im a good person. And Im a good chef, and I dont deserve to have marinara sauce all over me! Yknow what, if you want me to quit this bad, then all you have to do is
Ross: All right so, Chandler, from now on, dont give your boss a chance to get you. Y'know just ah, dont turn your back to him.
Rachel: Monica, betting the apartment, I dont know about this.
Mr. Treeger:: Yeah, well your friends are in violation of it. Ive been a nice guy up until now, but uh, I dont need this grief. Im gonna call the landlord and tell him that Monica is illegally subletting here grandmothers apartment. Your friends are outta here pal.
Phoebe: Listen Ross, we ran out of gas, and we dont know where we are, so we cant get a tow truck.
Monica: Hey, umm, so listen umm, my friends were telling me a little about this ah, ultimate fighting thing and it, well it sounds really dangerous. I-I dont want you to get hurt, cause I kinda like you.
Richards Date: Oh, thats real pretty. Wait a minute, dont I get to see the bedroom?
Rachel: Ohh Tag, umm youre such a great guy and we have sooo much fun together but I dont-I dont
Chandler: Oh, I dont know.
Chandler: Oh, dont say that! Dont say that. Thats not true. Is it?
Chandler: Yes, but I-I uh, dont have too.
Ross: Well, I was just playing with him, and y'know we were doing the alphabet song, which he used to be really good at, but suddenly hes leaving out e and f. Its like they just ah, I dont know, fell out of his head.
Joey: I dont know! But its the same!
Kathy: I uh, dont really have a preference. You?
Monica: Actually there is. Chandler usually helps me with this, but hes really into the game so I dont want to bother him. Could you help me fold these napkins? (Hands her a stack of them.)
Monica: All right, eight we get married, but 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 9, 10, 11, 12 we dont get married.
Ross: Who gets whom. (They all look at him.) I dont know why I do that.
Ross: Oh, thanks, thanks. So Monica tells me that uh, you dont want to play anymore because me and y'know my talent. Is that true?
Ross: Listen, Joey, I know what he did was wrong but dont you think you could at least hear the guy out?
Joey: Hey! Dont do the crime if you cant do the time.
Monica: Hey, come on, Phoebe, you understand dont you?
Chandler: A Speedo? Uh, I dont have a Speedo. Im gonna go pack my regular long bathing suit. (Goes into the bedroom.)
(As they change places, they give each other the now patented Ross maneuver. If you dont know what that means, click here to find out The One With Joey's New Girlfriend.)
Ross: I dont know what to say, Im sorry. Though, youre not supposed to take these. (Points to the bone) Its like a million years old, we, we actually, we had people looking for that.
Phoebe: And also, we dont know what to do with this. (She turns on a switch and the girls nipples light up.)
Chandler: No-no, I dont think you heard me. Are you ready to party?!
Joey: Look, I know I feel asleep before I could shower and now I dont have time! Theyre just ten blocks away, if I run, I can make it.
Hypnosis Tape: You are falling fast asleep. Deeper. Deeper. Deeper. You are now completely asleep. You dont need to smoke. Cigarettes dont control you. You are a strong, confident woman, who does not need to smoke. A strong, confident woman.
Monica: Hey, they dont pay me a penny a word to make friends.
Joanna: Rachel, please, dont make a scene.
Ross: Its not like we dont know how to party!!
Monica: Its okay, cause y'know what? You dont really need me for the business.
Monica: Im getting married!!!! Im gonna be a bride!!!! (Someone else yells at her.) No, I will not shut up because Im engaged! (He yells again.) Ohh, big talk! Huh, why dont you come over here and say that to me?! Huh, buddy?! Yeah, my fiancee will kick your ass! (Chandler starts to look worried.) Come on, apartment 20! Apartment 20!
Phoebe: Yeah. Thats what you really want. Yeah, I dont want to be the reason youre unhappy, that would just make me unhappy, and I really dont want to be the reason Im unhappy.
Chandler: Why dont you use ours across the hall, cause she has problems.
Joey: Hey, Mon! Im not doing anything, why dont you fire me?
Mike: Hey, Chandler, why dont we talk this over at the Ranger game tomorrow?
Chandler: Well, I dont really know what that is, but lets!!
Rachel: You told this guy that I was looking for a fling?! You dont tell the guy that!
Chandler: Its a big company, I dontif youI
Joey: And I gotta pay rent! Look, how-how about this? You dont fire me, instead I stay here, I gain their trust, and theyll start listening to all the nice things Ive been saying about you.
Phoebe: Theres sooo much you dont know.
Rachel: You dont tell a guy that youre looking for a serious relationship! You dont tell the guy that! Now you scared him away!
Ross: (standing at the edge of the roof) Yeah, I guess we dont have a choice. (Screaming to the street) Help us! Please help us! Were stuck up on the roof and we cant get down!!!
Joey: All right, dont waste it, I mean its still food. (He picks it up and eats it.)
Rachel: Wow! I dont know if I could ever do that. I always figured the first time I had a baby was with somebody I love and that baby would be a keeper.
Kitchen Worker: I dont speak English.
Phoebe: Oh no! No-no! I understand the pain! Dont-dont hurt the puppy.
Phoebe Sr: I really dont think its a very good idea, Phoebe.
Rachel: Well if you go to Disneyland, you dont spend the whole day on the Materhorn.
Rachel: I dont care, Im not going anywhere.
Ross: Dont blame the questions!
(Onstage theres a knock on the door and Kathy opens it. We dont see whats going on, only hear it.)
Chandler: Look, you dont have to draw an actual wowhoa! Shes hot!
Monica: Okay. Im guessing that if you dont want to deliver, you probably dont want to pick stuff up either.
Kathy: Ill tell you what, Chandler, why dont you call me when you grow up!
Joey: I dont know, it smells good.
Phoebe: Yeah, I dont need it.
Monica: No, wait, please dont go! Ive got porn for you too!
Phoebe: Why dont you ask him out?
Rachel: I dont even know how I would go about it.
Joey: No! Forget her, man! You dont need her, you dont need that!
Chandler: Yeah, well, dont expect that to happen anytime soon!
Rachel: Oh well, you dont want to do that now?!
Joey: I-I think everybodys pretending they dont hear you. Anyway, look, I dont know about you and your jackets and your separate tables, but Ross is one of my best friends, and if I save him a seat, Im telling you, he will sit in it! (Ross enters and goes over to the white table) Ross! Ross! Over here, man! I-I saved you seat.
Phoebe Sr: I realise I dont have any right to start get all parenty on you and everything now, but umm, (Sees that Phoebe isnt paying attention and is busy mimicking the puppy.) uhh Phoebe, would you please look at me and not the puppy, its very important.
Joey: I dont know, it looks the same.
Monica: Hey, dont mix those up, you could really ruin that lollipop.
Monica: I dont know sweetie.
Leslie: Yeah, but, I dont do that anymore. I got kinda sick of it, and then I couldnt come up with anything good, so they fired me.
Rachel: I dont get this! She was horrible! (She hits Chandler, yet again.)
Phoebe: Dont you just love the way they talk?!
Phoebe: Well, look, why dont you just, why dont you do your Phase Two strip club thing with us.
Chandler: So, you still dont think Im boyfriend material?
Chandler: Look, I figured I would try to convince him not to tell the story anymore, and I figure the best way to do that is face to faceAnd by face I dont mean his lap. And by face, I dont mean my ass. (Exits.)
Joey: Oh no-no-no, you dont understand
Monica: Oh! And dont let me leave without getting the name of that carpet guy.
Rachel: No, I dont.
Rachel: See, I dont know, for me it would have to Chantal.
Joey: I dont wanna.
Ross: Look, I-I dont want to miss anymore baby stuff. So Here. Heres my new pager number, okay? Anytime anything pregnancy related happens use it! Ill be there! Okay? I dont care if its three in the morning and all you want is ice cream.
Chandler: Okay, then you gotta back away, all right? You dont need that kindve hurt. Take it from a guy whos never had a long term relationship......
Chandler: You dont have to stop having fun just because Im here. Kathy didnt cheat on all of you. (To Joey) Well, except you. (They hug and Chandler goes into the bathroom with the chick and duck following him.)
Joey: Look, if Im bringing home a woman who cant stand being around a baby, then maybe I dont want to be with that woman! Or maybe well just do it in the bathroom of the club!
Rachel: Yes! And not because I want you to go out with me, but because I dont want you to go out with anybody! Okay? I know its a terrible thing to even think this, and its completely inappropriate, but I want you to be at my constant beck and call 24 hours a day! Im very sorry, but that is just the way that I feel.
Ross: Why dont you call him?! Well, thank you very much! Y'know now he is going to prep her, y'know prep her, as in what you do when you surgically remove the boyfriend!
Ross: Well, I tell you what. Why dont we uh, why dont we just stay here? Lets not see a movie, well just hang.
Emily: (laughs) Ross play rugby? I dont think so.
Emily: Well I mean, youre American to start with. You dont even have rugby here.
Ross: I dont care! I am not quitting! I insist on finishing this game!
Chandler: I dont know exactly.
Ross: Oh, just hold on a second. Im watching this rugby thing on ESPN. I dont know what the big deal is. Im man enough to play this sport.
Ross: Look, dont worry about me. Okay? Ill just stay real energetic and stay away from the ball. Ill uh, Ill be that guy right out of the circle. (He points to a player who starts running and then gets viscously tackled from behind.)
Joey: (lying on a beach towel, recapping what happened in the last episode) Okay, so we went to the beach, because Phoebe found out about this lady who knew her mom and dad, and I dont really know what happened with that.
Ross: They dont look any bigger than me!
Joey: I totally dont know what youre talking about.
Ross: Okay, I know what I have to do. Ive got to go Red Ross. (Joey and Phoebe dont know what hes talking about.) Yknow, Red Ross!