words in movies
[Scene: Dr. Burke's apartment. Dr. Burke answers the door for Phoebe and Monica.]
DR. BURKE: Ah, that's OK, come on in. Um, I'm sorry, is Monica Geller coming? I was told she was.
MONICA: Dr. Burke, it, it's me.
DR. BURKE: Monica? My God you used to be so. . . I mean you, you, you, you must have lost like. . . You look great.
DR. BURKE: Hi Phoebe, nice to meet you. [Phoebe just giggles when they shake] So, how ya been?
DR. BURKE: Oh, well obviously you know Barbara and I split up, otherwise you wouldn't have done the head tilt.
DR. BURKE: Yeah, since the divorce, when anybody asks me how I am, it's always with a sympathetic head tilt. [demonstrating] 'How ya doin'? You OK?'
DR. BURKE: No no, it, it's fine, believe me. I do it too. I always answer with the 'I'm OK' head bob. [demonstrates] 'I'm OK.' [tilts head] 'You sure?' [bobs head] 'Yeah, I'm fine.' Hey listen, I've got to set up the music. I got a new CD changer, of course the divorce only left me with 4 CD's to change.
DR. BURKE: [bobbing his head] I'll survive.
[Scene: Dr. Burke's apartment. Monica and Dr. Burke are in the kitchen.]
DR. BURKE: But they're so dull, they're all opthamologists.
DR. BURKE: Only because my parents wanted me to be, I wanted to be a sherrif.
DR. BURKE: See.
DR. BURKE: OK. You better. Oh God, here we go. Hey wanna see 'em go nuts? Watch this. [grabbing some wine glasses and opening the door to the party] Who needs glasses? [everyone laughs]
MONICA: Dr. Burke? I don't think so. I mean, like, he's a grown up.
[Scene: Dr. Burke's office. Monica is there for her eye appointment.]
DR. BURKE: I'm going to look into your eyes now.
DR. BURKE: Yeah, that's my job. Alright, look up. . . look down, now open your eyes, now look down. That's right, look into the light. Now look at me. . . OK. Your eyes look good. Those are good eyes.
DR. BURKE: So, it's great to see ya.
DR. BURKE: You too.
DR. BURKE: Drops!
DR. BURKE: Drops. Here, they're free.
DR. BURKE: Oh, OK, yeah. I'll see ya later.
RACHEL: Ya know, Dr. Burke kissed me once.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Dr. Burke are sitting on the couch. He's showing her the pictures in his wallet.]
DR. BURKE: Yep.
DR. BURKE: Ya know, she's having another baby.
DR. BURKE: No no. Henry's almost two and he's talking and everyting. Here. You know, the other day he told me he liked me better than his other grandpa. Now in all fairness his other grandpa's a drunk but still. . .
DR. BURKE: Yeah. Are we nuts here?
DR. BURKE: I didn't need to know that. I guess 21 years is a lot. I mean, hell, I'm a whole person who can drink older than you.
DR. BURKE: So.
DR. BURKE: Yeah, yeah, maybe.
DR. BURKE: Yeah, it sure does. [they hug and it turns into a passionate kiss]
DR. BURKE: No, no, there's no rush or anything.
Rachel: Okay. Okay, see now the one with the feather boa? Thats Dr. Francis. She used to be a man. Oh look! There(Marcel (Katie) jumps away)Okay. (And runs behind her on the back of the couch for a little while.)
Ross: Hey! I did not dump Rachel! (To Mona) Nor are we still together. (The phone rings and Ross goes to answer it, only hes trapped behind the apothecary table by Dr. Green.) Can I just (Dr. Green glares at him.) Why dont we just let the machine get that?
DR. REMORE: There's something I never told you Amber. I'm actually your half- brother.
Rachel: Joey, youre such an amazing actor! (He smiles.) How do you know where Dr. Drake Remoray leaves off and Joey Tribbiani begins?
Dr. Harad: They have the honor of being born on The Fonz's half-birthday.
Dr. Schiff: Any painful gas?
Dr. Leedbetter: We want you to speak to a psychiatrist.
Joey: Well. I guess you think youre pretty special huh? Sittin up here in your fancy small hall building. Makin stars jump through hoops for ya, huh? Well yknow what? (Throws the script away) This is one star whos hoop This is a star that the hoopthis hoopI was Dr. Drake Remoray!
Monica: Great! Its so amazing! I mean, last time Dr. Roger came over, I was so nervous, but then after being with you Im all like, "Can the doctor see me now?"
Dr. Leedbetter: There may have been a-a joke or a limerick of some kind.
Dr. Mitchell: God bless the chickpea.
Dr. Baldhara: Uh, how is he at handling small objects?
Rachel: Okay! (Picks up the phone and starts dialing.) (In an Irish accent) "Hello Ross, this is Dr. McNeeley from the Fake Accent University, wed like you to come on board with us full time! (Hangs up.)
JOEY: Ohh, you know what it is? It's smudgy 'cause they're fax pages. Now when I was on Days of Our Lives as Dr. Drake Remoray, they'd send over the whole script on real paper and everything.
Dr. Green: Nice hair. Whatd ya do? Swim here?
ROSS: No. [sound of Dr. Remore's body hitting the bottom of the shaft] Now maybe.
(Back at the couch, Dr. Mitchell and Dr. Rosen have concerns of their own.)
MINDY: I'm Mrs. Dr. Barry Hunter hyphen Farber.
(They approach the young ladies. Dr. Mitchell consults Ms.Geller's admissions form.)
Dr. Gettleman: (To a patient) I think you just have a cold, it's definitely not Strep.
Dr. Zane: We do five because that gives you a 25% chance that at least one will attach.
Chandler: Yes, yes she is. Didnt I memo you on this? See, after I let her go, err, I got a call from her psychiatrist, Dr. Flanen-nen, Dr. Flanen, Dr. Flan.
Dr. Leedbetter: Well, it was quite large. I-I-I-I-I had to throw most of it away.
Friend No. 1: Well, I would like to propose a toast to the woman, who in one year from today, become Mrs. Dr. Barry Farber DDS
Benjamin: (looks surprised and un-impressed) That's not even kinda close! (Ross looks around confused) Dr. Li, how many graduate students you'd be needing?
[Scene: Ross's apartment, he's having his party, only he's the only guest. He gets up and puts on a nametag that says Ross, but doesn't quite like it. So he takes it off and puts on one that says Dr. Geller and he puts the Ross one underneath the Dr. Geller one. Then as he turns off the music, we hear the party for Howard raging in the apartment across the hall.]
Dr. Green: So! (they both try to sit next to Rachel but Dr. Green is successful.) (to Ross) Hows the library?
Dr. Gettleman: Would you like a lollypop?
Chandler: Well, I have an appointment to see Dr. Robert Pillman, career counselor a-gogo. (pause) I added the "a-gogo."
Dr. Long: Youre about 80 percent effaced, so youre on your way. It still could last a little while longer. If youre anxious there are a few ways to help things along.
(Ross with his pants around his ankles tries to run, but Dr. Geller forgets that he has his pants around his ankles and falls down trying to flee.)
JOEY: But I was Dr. Drake Remoray. How can I go from bein' a neurosurgeon to drivin' a cab?
Rachel: (on phone) Daddy... Daddy... Daddy, why whyyy would I sleep with Billy Dreskin? His father tried to put you out of business! (Rachel turns to Monica, clasping the receiver to her bosom so Dr.Green can't hear, while mouthing "You are...") ...dead!
Dr. Green: (interrupting him) I know!! Its a museum! What, youre the only one around here who can make a joke! At least mine was funny. Ah, waiter, we will have two lobsters and a menu. (nods at Ross, and mouths I dont know to the waiter.)
Dr. Long: Ten centimeters, youre about to become a mom.
[Scene: Joey's apartment, (The one he had when he was Dr. Drake Remoray, because he still is.) Rachel is there and admiring the big ceramic fake dog.]
JOEY: [as they're walking out, Dr. Greene questioningly gestures at the Happy Birthday sign over the door] This is clearly in the wrong apartment. [they all walk across the hall]
Joey: Dr. Drake Remoray. Days of Our Lives. Voted most datable neurosurgeon by Teen Beat.
Rachel: Excuse me, Dr. Bobby happens to be an excellent doctor.
Joey: Good evening. Im Mr. Tribbiani. And I will be teaching acting for soap operas. Now um, on my first day as (proudly) Dr. Drake Remoray on Days of Our Lives, (looks for a reaction from his students, and gets none.) I learned that one of the most important things in soap opera acting is reacting, this does not mean acting again, it means, you dont have a line, but someone else just did. And it goes like this. (looks all intense for a moment and then gasps, the students cheer him) Thanks, thanks, a lot. Oh, by the way, before I forget to work in soap operas some of you will have to become much more attractive. All right, moving right along.
Dr. Franzblau: So, I understand you're thinking of having a baby? Well, I see you're nine months pregnant. That's a good start. How you doing with your contractions?
Dr. Baldhara: How about a hammer, or a small blade?
[Scene: A Doctor's Office, Ross is having his thing looked at by Dr. Rhodes.]
Dr. Long: We are moving along, just slowly. (Rachel lies back and sighs.) Dont worry, youre doing great. Ill be back soon. (Exits.)
Dr. Long: Shes fine. Shes experiencing Braxton-Hicks contractions, mild discomfort caused by contractions in the uterine wall.
Bobby: Hey, Dr. Farber.
(Dr. Geller, the man with the Ph.D. in Paleontology, is trying to find a place to hide, but this supposedly intelligent man in the hands of clich�d scriptwriters runs around with his pants down around his ankles like one of the Three Stooges.)
Joey: (Snatches the phone) Hey Ma. Listen, I made the appointment with Dr. Bazida, and... Excuse me? (To his dad) Did you know this isn't Ma?
Ross: ..Dr. Oberman. Okay. And is he-
Carol: Dr. Oberman.
Dr. Baldhara: Does he, uh, fight with other animals?
Dr. Oberman: Well, I was just wondering about the mother-to-be, but.. thanks for sharing. (To Carol) Uh, lie back..
Dr. Oberman: (entering) Knock knock!How are we today? Any nausea?
Bernice: (over intercom) Dr. Farber, Jason Greenstein's gagging.
Dr. Roger: Yknow, its funny, but when we were studying communicable diseases
[Scene: Rachel and Barrys bedroom, Rachel is watching Days of Our Lives. Of course its a Dr. Drake Remoray scene. Its set in a hospital room, and Dr. Wesley and a nurse are talking about a female patient with a bandage around her head.]
Dr. Li: Well, I believe that the answers lie in the osteological evidence. I plan to begin there.
Dr. Baldhara: Even if he were... cornered?
[Time lapse, Monica is now wearing the dress while doing the dishes and is making like she is thanking her guests for coming to her wedding. Paging Dr. Crane. Dr. Fraiser Crane!]
Ross: Oh-oh, youre-youre fellow scholars. What exactly were you looking for, hmm? Perhaps, (Grabs a book from the shelf behind him) perhaps Dr. Chester Stocks musings on the Smiledon Californicus?
Ross: I got held up at Dr. Gettleman's office. There was some guy that freaked everybody out.
Dr. Mitchell: Hey.
Dr. Mitchell: (Smiling) Hi, err Rachel. I'm Dr.Mitchell.
Dr. Mitchell: That's because they are.
Dr. Rosen: Ah here, we brought wine.
Dr. Mitchell: So?
Dr. Rosen: (Nervously) okay, but you have to admit that every time we go out... Women we meet at the hospital... It turns into...
Dr. Rosen: So... they sss-still seem normal.
Nurse: Youve done all you can Dr. Wesley. You have got to let her go.
Dr. Rosen: This is a great place. How long have you lived here?
Dr. Franzblau: It really was. There was this great little pastry shop right by my hotel. (Carol sits up in pain, Rachel and Dr. Franzblau casually lay her back down) There you go, dear.
Dr. Franzblau: No, it's hard enough to get women to go out with me.
Dr. Rosen: This hummus is great.
Dr. Rosen: Good for you.
Dr. Rosen: Excuse me?
Dr. Mitchell: Really?
Dr. Baldhara: You're making a big mistake here. I mean, San Diego's all well and good, but if you give him to me, I'll start him off against a blind rabbit and give you twenty percent of the gains.
Dr. Mitchell: I'll take a look at him.
Dr. Mitchell: Rachel.
Dr. Rosen: So, Monica, how's the ankle?
Dr. Harad: Oh, no-no-no, it's a good one! Fonzie plays the bongos. All right, are you ready? It's time to start pushing.
[Scene: Ross's new apartment, he is showing his boss, Dr. Ledbetter his new place and new outlook on life.]
Dr. Rhodes: Wait a minute, hold it. (He goes to the door and opens it.) Johnson! Will you come in here a moment?
JOEY: Hey, I'll be alright. I mean it's not like I'm starting from sqare one. I was Dr. Drake Remoray on Days of Our Lives. Heh? I mean that's gotta have some kind of cache.
Dr. Franzblau: Hey, how's my favorite parenting team doing?
Ross: Dr. Franzblau, hi.
[Scene: The Waiting Room, Rachel and Dr. Franzblau have gone to get coffee.]
Dr. Franzblau: I'm gonna go check up on your friend.
Dr. Franzblau: I try not to let my work affect my personal life, but it's hard, when you... do what I do. It's like uh...Well, for instance, what do you do?
Dr. Franzblau: It is nice to meet you. I'm Dr. Franzblau. I'm your roommate's... brother's... ex-wife's obstetrician.
Ross: (puts his head near the baby) Hello! (to Dr. Franzblau) Oh, sorry.
Phoebe: Oh, it's Dr. Seuss!
Dr. Franzblau: You're doing great, you're doing fine.
Dr. Franzblau: I'm sorry, I can't tell the baby to wait for them.
Dr. Franzblau: All right, Carol, I need you to keep pushing. I need(reaches for an instrument, Rachel's hand is on it) Excuse me, could I have this?
Rachel: (to Dr. Franzblau) Ok, so anyway, you were telling me about Paris, it sounds fascinating.
Rachel: No! Shoot, Dr. Schiff what kind of question is that?!
Dr. Harad: Just-just to clarify, I'm not Fonzie. (Phoebe nods in agreement as he leaves.)
Rachel: And if you need anything else, I(notices the handsome Dr. Franzblau)do not believe we've met. Hi. I'm, uh, Rachel Green. I'm Carol's... ex-husband's... sister's roommate.
[Scene: Carol's room, Rachel and Dr. Franzblau are there with her.]