words in movies
Joey: Good evening. Im Mr. Tribbiani. And I will be teaching acting for soap operas. Now um, on my first day as (proudly) Dr. Drake Remoray on Days of Our Lives, (looks for a reaction from his students, and gets none.) I learned that one of the most important things in soap opera acting is reacting, this does not mean acting again, it means, you dont have a line, but someone else just did. And it goes like this. (looks all intense for a moment and then gasps, the students cheer him) Thanks, thanks, a lot. Oh, by the way, before I forget to work in soap operas some of you will have to become much more attractive. All right, moving right along.
[Scene: Restaurant, Rachel and Ross and Dr. Green are having dinner.]
Dr. Green: This where they put it? What, there no table available in the kitchen! Hello, baby.
Dr. Green: Um-hmm.
Ross: Nice to see you again Dr. Green.
Dr. Green: So! (they both try to sit next to Rachel but Dr. Green is successful.) (to Ross) Hows the library?
Dr. Green: What happened to the library?
Dr. Green: You know whats really good here, the lobster. What do you say shall I just order three.
Ross: Yeah, if youre really hungry. (Dr. Green stares at him) It was a joke, I made a joke.
Dr. Green: What kind of person is allergic to lobster? I guess the kind of person that works at a library.
Dr. Green: (interrupting him) I know!! Its a museum! What, youre the only one around here who can make a joke! At least mine was funny. Ah, waiter, we will have two lobsters and a menu. (nods at Ross, and mouths I dont know to the waiter.)
Ross: So, Dr. Green, hows the old boat.
Dr. Green: They found rust. You know what rust does to a boat?
Dr. Green: (he stares at Ross) Rust, is boat cancer, Ross.
Dr. Green: Excuse me for a moment, will you please, I want to say good night to the Levines, before we go.
Dr Green: You kids ready?
Ross: Thanks again, Dr. Green.
Dr. Green: All right.
(Ross takes a twenty and slips it underneath the bill when Dr. Green isnt looking.)
Dr. Green: Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, I think I forgot my receipt.
Dr. Green: Why not?
Dr. Green: (gets his receipt and notices the twenty) What is this? Who put a twenty down here? Huh?
Dr. Green: Excuse me, you think Im cheap?
Dr. Green: This is nice. I pay two hundred dollars for dinner, you put down twenty, and you come out looking like Mr. Big Shot. You really want to be Mr. Big Shot? Here, Ill tell you what, you pay the whole bill, Mr. Big Shot, all right. (rips up the bill, and throws it at Ross, then leaves)
Dr. Green: Baby. Ross.
Ross: Dr. Green. How are you? (offers his hand, and Dr. Green puts his scarf on it.)
Dr. Green: Thanks for dinner last night.
Dr. Green: Nice hair. Whatd ya do? Swim here?
Dr. Green: Ross? Whats with the neck?
Dr. Green: Youre still going to that chiropractor, that man couldnt get into medical school in Extapa!
Rachel: Excuse me, Dr. Bobby happens to be an excellent doctor.
Dr. Green: Wait a minute, his name is Dr. Bobby?
Dr. Green: Hes Bobby Bobby?
Dr. Green: Oh.
Dr. Green: What do you need help for?
Dr. Green: Oh God!
Dr. Green: Come on! Youre just titling! (to Ross) Her legs are fine!
Dr. Green: So, why do you let her go to a chiropractor for?
Dr. Green: Wait a minute, you dont have renters insurance?!
Dr. Green: Well what if somebody steals something? How are you gonna run after him with one leg shorter than the other?!
Dr. Green: Id love some juice. Thanks.
Rachel: Okay. Okay, see now the one with the feather boa? Thats Dr. Francis. She used to be a man. Oh look! There(Marcel (Katie) jumps away)Okay. (And runs behind her on the back of the couch for a little while.)
Ross: Hey! I did not dump Rachel! (To Mona) Nor are we still together. (The phone rings and Ross goes to answer it, only hes trapped behind the apothecary table by Dr. Green.) Can I just (Dr. Green glares at him.) Why dont we just let the machine get that?
DR. REMORE: There's something I never told you Amber. I'm actually your half- brother.
Rachel: Joey, youre such an amazing actor! (He smiles.) How do you know where Dr. Drake Remoray leaves off and Joey Tribbiani begins?
Dr. Harad: They have the honor of being born on The Fonz's half-birthday.
Dr. Schiff: Any painful gas?
Dr. Leedbetter: We want you to speak to a psychiatrist.
Joey: Well. I guess you think youre pretty special huh? Sittin up here in your fancy small hall building. Makin stars jump through hoops for ya, huh? Well yknow what? (Throws the script away) This is one star whos hoop This is a star that the hoopthis hoopI was Dr. Drake Remoray!
Monica: Great! Its so amazing! I mean, last time Dr. Roger came over, I was so nervous, but then after being with you Im all like, "Can the doctor see me now?"
Dr. Leedbetter: There may have been a-a joke or a limerick of some kind.
Dr. Mitchell: God bless the chickpea.
Rachel: Okay! (Picks up the phone and starts dialing.) (In an Irish accent) "Hello Ross, this is Dr. McNeeley from the Fake Accent University, wed like you to come on board with us full time! (Hangs up.)
Dr. Baldhara: Uh, how is he at handling small objects?
JOEY: Ohh, you know what it is? It's smudgy 'cause they're fax pages. Now when I was on Days of Our Lives as Dr. Drake Remoray, they'd send over the whole script on real paper and everything.
ROSS: No. [sound of Dr. Remore's body hitting the bottom of the shaft] Now maybe.
Chandler: Yes, yes she is. Didnt I memo you on this? See, after I let her go, err, I got a call from her psychiatrist, Dr. Flanen-nen, Dr. Flanen, Dr. Flan.
(They approach the young ladies. Dr. Mitchell consults Ms.Geller's admissions form.)
MINDY: I'm Mrs. Dr. Barry Hunter hyphen Farber.
(Back at the couch, Dr. Mitchell and Dr. Rosen have concerns of their own.)
Dr. Zane: We do five because that gives you a 25% chance that at least one will attach.
Friend No. 1: Well, I would like to propose a toast to the woman, who in one year from today, become Mrs. Dr. Barry Farber DDS
Dr. Gettleman: (To a patient) I think you just have a cold, it's definitely not Strep.
Benjamin: (looks surprised and un-impressed) That's not even kinda close! (Ross looks around confused) Dr. Li, how many graduate students you'd be needing?
[Scene: Ross's apartment, he's having his party, only he's the only guest. He gets up and puts on a nametag that says Ross, but doesn't quite like it. So he takes it off and puts on one that says Dr. Geller and he puts the Ross one underneath the Dr. Geller one. Then as he turns off the music, we hear the party for Howard raging in the apartment across the hall.]
Dr. Leedbetter: Well, it was quite large. I-I-I-I-I had to throw most of it away.
Dr. Gettleman: Would you like a lollypop?
[Scene: Joey's apartment, (The one he had when he was Dr. Drake Remoray, because he still is.) Rachel is there and admiring the big ceramic fake dog.]
JOEY: But I was Dr. Drake Remoray. How can I go from bein' a neurosurgeon to drivin' a cab?
Dr. Long: Youre about 80 percent effaced, so youre on your way. It still could last a little while longer. If youre anxious there are a few ways to help things along.
Chandler: Well, I have an appointment to see Dr. Robert Pillman, career counselor a-gogo. (pause) I added the "a-gogo."
Dr. Baldhara: How about a hammer, or a small blade?
Rachel: (on phone) Daddy... Daddy... Daddy, why whyyy would I sleep with Billy Dreskin? His father tried to put you out of business! (Rachel turns to Monica, clasping the receiver to her bosom so Dr.Green can't hear, while mouthing "You are...") ...dead!
DR. BURKE: No no. Henry's almost two and he's talking and everyting. Here. You know, the other day he told me he liked me better than his other grandpa. Now in all fairness his other grandpa's a drunk but still. . .
(Ross with his pants around his ankles tries to run, but Dr. Geller forgets that he has his pants around his ankles and falls down trying to flee.)
JOEY: [as they're walking out, Dr. Greene questioningly gestures at the Happy Birthday sign over the door] This is clearly in the wrong apartment. [they all walk across the hall]
Joey: Dr. Drake Remoray. Days of Our Lives. Voted most datable neurosurgeon by Teen Beat.
Dr. Long: Ten centimeters, youre about to become a mom.
DR. BURKE: Yeah, it sure does. [they hug and it turns into a passionate kiss]
Dr. Long: We are moving along, just slowly. (Rachel lies back and sighs.) Dont worry, youre doing great. Ill be back soon. (Exits.)
[Scene: A Doctor's Office, Ross is having his thing looked at by Dr. Rhodes.]
DR. BURKE: But they're so dull, they're all opthamologists.
Dr. Franzblau: So, I understand you're thinking of having a baby? Well, I see you're nine months pregnant. That's a good start. How you doing with your contractions?
DR. BURKE: No no, it, it's fine, believe me. I do it too. I always answer with the 'I'm OK' head bob. [demonstrates] 'I'm OK.' [tilts head] 'You sure?' [bobs head] 'Yeah, I'm fine.' Hey listen, I've got to set up the music. I got a new CD changer, of course the divorce only left me with 4 CD's to change.
Dr. Long: Shes fine. Shes experiencing Braxton-Hicks contractions, mild discomfort caused by contractions in the uterine wall.
Bobby: Hey, Dr. Farber.
(Dr. Geller, the man with the Ph.D. in Paleontology, is trying to find a place to hide, but this supposedly intelligent man in the hands of clich�d scriptwriters runs around with his pants down around his ankles like one of the Three Stooges.)
Ross: ..Dr. Oberman. Okay. And is he-
Joey: (Snatches the phone) Hey Ma. Listen, I made the appointment with Dr. Bazida, and... Excuse me? (To his dad) Did you know this isn't Ma?
DR. BURKE: Ah, that's OK, come on in. Um, I'm sorry, is Monica Geller coming? I was told she was.
Carol: Dr. Oberman.
[Time lapse, Monica is now wearing the dress while doing the dishes and is making like she is thanking her guests for coming to her wedding. Paging Dr. Crane. Dr. Fraiser Crane!]
Dr. Oberman: Well, I was just wondering about the mother-to-be, but.. thanks for sharing. (To Carol) Uh, lie back..
Dr. Roger: Yknow, its funny, but when we were studying communicable diseases
[Scene: Rachel and Barrys bedroom, Rachel is watching Days of Our Lives. Of course its a Dr. Drake Remoray scene. Its set in a hospital room, and Dr. Wesley and a nurse are talking about a female patient with a bandage around her head.]
Dr. Baldhara: Does he, uh, fight with other animals?
Bernice: (over intercom) Dr. Farber, Jason Greenstein's gagging.
Dr. Oberman: (entering) Knock knock!How are we today? Any nausea?
Dr. Baldhara: Even if he were... cornered?
Dr. Li: Well, I believe that the answers lie in the osteological evidence. I plan to begin there.
Dr. Rosen: Ah here, we brought wine.
Dr. Mitchell: (Smiling) Hi, err Rachel. I'm Dr.Mitchell.
Dr. Mitchell: Hey.
Dr. Mitchell: That's because they are.
Dr. Rosen: (Nervously) okay, but you have to admit that every time we go out... Women we meet at the hospital... It turns into...
Ross: I got held up at Dr. Gettleman's office. There was some guy that freaked everybody out.
Ross: Oh-oh, youre-youre fellow scholars. What exactly were you looking for, hmm? Perhaps, (Grabs a book from the shelf behind him) perhaps Dr. Chester Stocks musings on the Smiledon Californicus?
Dr. Mitchell: So?
Dr. Rosen: So... they sss-still seem normal.
Dr. Mitchell: I'll take a look at him.
Dr. Rosen: This hummus is great.
Dr. Rosen: Good for you.
Dr. Rosen: Excuse me?
Dr. Mitchell: Really?
Dr. Baldhara: You're making a big mistake here. I mean, San Diego's all well and good, but if you give him to me, I'll start him off against a blind rabbit and give you twenty percent of the gains.
Dr. Rosen: This is a great place. How long have you lived here?
Dr. Mitchell: Rachel.
Dr. Rosen: So, Monica, how's the ankle?
Dr. Harad: Oh, no-no-no, it's a good one! Fonzie plays the bongos. All right, are you ready? It's time to start pushing.
Dr. Franzblau: It really was. There was this great little pastry shop right by my hotel. (Carol sits up in pain, Rachel and Dr. Franzblau casually lay her back down) There you go, dear.
[Scene: Ross's new apartment, he is showing his boss, Dr. Ledbetter his new place and new outlook on life.]
JOEY: Hey, I'll be alright. I mean it's not like I'm starting from sqare one. I was Dr. Drake Remoray on Days of Our Lives. Heh? I mean that's gotta have some kind of cache.
Dr. Rhodes: Wait a minute, hold it. (He goes to the door and opens it.) Johnson! Will you come in here a moment?
Nurse: Youve done all you can Dr. Wesley. You have got to let her go.
Dr. Franzblau: Hey, how's my favorite parenting team doing?
Ross: Dr. Franzblau, hi.
Rachel: (to Dr. Franzblau) Ok, so anyway, you were telling me about Paris, it sounds fascinating.
[Scene: The Waiting Room, Rachel and Dr. Franzblau have gone to get coffee.]
Dr. Franzblau: I'm gonna go check up on your friend.
Dr. Franzblau: I try not to let my work affect my personal life, but it's hard, when you... do what I do. It's like uh...Well, for instance, what do you do?
Dr. Franzblau: It is nice to meet you. I'm Dr. Franzblau. I'm your roommate's... brother's... ex-wife's obstetrician.
Ross: (puts his head near the baby) Hello! (to Dr. Franzblau) Oh, sorry.
Dr. Franzblau: No, it's hard enough to get women to go out with me.
Dr. Franzblau: You're doing great, you're doing fine.
Dr. Franzblau: I'm sorry, I can't tell the baby to wait for them.
Dr. Franzblau: All right, Carol, I need you to keep pushing. I need(reaches for an instrument, Rachel's hand is on it) Excuse me, could I have this?
Rachel: And if you need anything else, I(notices the handsome Dr. Franzblau)do not believe we've met. Hi. I'm, uh, Rachel Green. I'm Carol's... ex-husband's... sister's roommate.
Rachel: No! Shoot, Dr. Schiff what kind of question is that?!
Phoebe: Oh, it's Dr. Seuss!
Dr. Miller: This is a glaucoma test.
Dr. Harad: Just-just to clarify, I'm not Fonzie. (Phoebe nods in agreement as he leaves.)