words in movies
{Transcribers note: This is where the opening credits are, but theyre not the usual opening credits. Oh no! These credits are based on the world that would have been created had all of the above actually happened. It starts out with all of them at the fountain sitting on the couch as Fat Monica runs up and sits on the arm of the couch, tilting the whole thing towards her. It then goes on to show Rachels still a shop-aholic and with Barry. Fat Monica is sweating while cooking and dancing while eating a donut. Phoebe as the Wall Street shark smoking while on two cell phones. Then theyre dancing in the fountain. Joey entering as Dr. Drake Remoray and meeting a groupie. Chandler trying to write as a bird does its business on his shoulder and falling asleep while typing. Ross doing some kara-tay and trying to get Carol into bed. And finally, some more dancing in the fountain, them all flexing, and the turning out the lamp and shutting off all the lights bit from the first season. Just remember one thing, this is an alternate universe. Everything from every other episode doesnt apply, for instance, Ross and Rachel have no history. And in fact have not seen each other in years in this world.}
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's, Monica is eating breakfast as Chandler enters.]
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's, Chandler and Monica are eating Monicas dinner.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Joey is eating breakfast, Rachel has just gotten up, and Monica is on the phone.]
[Scene: Room 816, Phoebe and Cliff are eating some pudding with spoons.]
(Angela is eating chicken wings and making the weasel-like noise Joey had told Bob about.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel are eating breakfast.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is mopping around and eating ice cream.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler are eating breakfast as Joey enters.]
Rachel: Oh, you guys are gonna have so much fun! She's at such a cute age. Oh, a couple things. Now that she's eating solid food, she poops around the clock. And watch out for your hair, 'cause she likes to grab it. And oh, she's also in this phase where if you leave the room, she screams bloody murder, but ah... Thanks, you guys. Have fun!
[cut to Ross who walks up to Rachel who is eating a baked pretzel.]
[Scene: Dots Spot, Chip and Monica are on there date, eating dinner. Chip is telling a story.]
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Ross is eating the dinner Carol made for Susan.]
[Scene: Rachel and Monica's, Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel are eating breakfast.]
Joey: Well, we have to say something! We have to get it out! Its eating me alive!! Monica got stung by a jellyfish.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, they are all there eating breakfast.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is eating the picnic as Rachel comes home from work.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is eating dinner, Monica and Rachel are sitting on the couch.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Ross, Phoebe, and Rachel are eating breakfast.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is eating breakfast as Chandler comes out of his bedroom, ripping his coat in the process.]
[Scene: Allesandros, Joey is eating some cheese.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone except Joey and Chandler are there eating breakfast.]
Joey: Good, and hey! My treat. (He turns to go into his bedroom then stops.) But that's only because you're not eating anything, right?
[Scene: Joey and Rachels, Joey is sitting at the counter eating Cocoa Puffs.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Phoebe, and Ross are there eating pizza as Rachel enters.]
[Scene: The museums worker cafeteria, Joey is eating lunch with the rest of the tour guides. Another tour guide tries to sit down in a seat Joey saved for Ross.]
Monica: He had to go, theres a deer just outside eating fruit from the orchard.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is there eating breakfast. Chandler is cleaning out his wallet.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is eating dinner as Chandler enters.]
Ross: Ive gotta go, theres a deer just outside eating fruit from the orchard! (He hangs up and runs out.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are eating breakfast.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler and Ginger are eating dinner.]
(Just then, Charlton Heston walks out of his dressing room and starts eating a liquorice whip.)
Mr. Burgin: Youll wear that. Well be eating, and of course, youll be wearing that.
[Cut to Monica's bedroom, theyre all eating the wax, Chandler and Phoebe, dont like it. Joey tries some and makes a face like: Hey, thats not so bad.]
Joey: Look at that, Charlton Heston eating a liquorice whip!
Joey: Well, suppose until the babys born I laid off it. No extra animals would die, you-youd just be eating my animals.
[Scene: The Bing household, Mr. and Mrs. Bing and Young Chandler are eating Thanksgiving dinner as a housekeeper serves them.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are eating breakfast.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Phoebe, Chandler, Ross, and Monica are eating breakfast.]
Joey: Hey, whats up? (He has solved the problem of eating the steak, hes eating it with his hands.)
(Rachel slams shut her window and storms into the living room, where Joey and Monica are eating breakfast.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is eating the picnic as Rachel comes home from work.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the entire gang is there, eating breakfast. Phoebe is on the couch, fidgeting.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier, everyone is still eating breakfast.]
Emily: (rushing in) Ross! Come quickly! Theres a deer just outside eating fruit from the orchard!
Joey: Yeah, but sandwich time is right now. (Removes a sandwich and starts eating.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is eating breakfast, Ross is heading for the bathroom.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, the gang minus Monica and Rachel are eating breakfast. Ross and Chandler are sitting at the foosball table and eating.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is eating some Chinese food.]
[Scene: Ross' apartment. Ross, Chandler, and Joey are there eating pizza.]
Ross: (He opens the door while faking a laugh.) Hey! Oh, we-we can't keep eating like this. (Monica turns her head in shame.)
Joey: (goes over to Ben) Hi Ben! So you wanna be an actor huh? I gotta tell ya, it's no picnic. There's tons of rejection. No stability. One day you're Dr. Drake Remoray, the next day you're eating ketchup right out of the bottle.
[Scene: The museum cafeteria, Joey is eating with the tour guides as Ross enters.]
[Time lapse, all three girls are now wearing wedding dresses, eating popcorn, drinking beer, and watching TV.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe are eating breakfast.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Joey are sitting at the bar, in their bathrobes, eating cereal]
[Scene: The Museum of Prehistoric History (Ross's work); Ross is in the break room eating lunch as his boss, Dr. Leedbetter walks in.]
[Scene: Joey's apartment, Joey and Rachel are eating spaghetti in the living room while watching TV and Rachel drops some on the floor.]
Chandler: You know what? You know what? I think we're making too big a deal out of this. ok? So we pay our bills a little late this month and maybe next month we cut back on a few things. And maybe we start eating out of Joey's refrigerator for a change. You're chef... what can you make out of backing soda and beer?
[Scene: Joey and Rachels, Joey is at the counter eating a bowl of Frosted Flakes.]
Monica: Its so good, that I feel really selfish about being the only one whos eating it, that I think we should have everyone taste how good it is. Especially Ross.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, the next morning, Monica and Phoebe are eating breakfast.]
(Ross walks in, eating cotton candy. Monica nudges Chandler who hides the picture in his magazine. Ross sits down on the chair, he seems kinda out of it.)
[Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Paul are eating.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Joey are eating Thanksgiving dinner.]
[Scene: Joey's apartment, Joey is eating pizza as Chandler enters.]
[Cut to the living room, Joey is eating a sandwich.)
[The next flashback is from The One With Ross's Sandwich, Ross his confronting his boss about him eating Ross's sandwich.]
Joey: Oh yeah (He mimes sticking his fingers into a jar of peanut butter, scooping some out, and eating it off his fingers.)
Ross: Remember? You-you were eating pizza.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is eating breakfast as Rachel enters having just woken up.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is eating cereal from a bowl she has balanced on her stomach as Joey, Chandler, and Monica return.]
[Scene: The Restaurant, Monica and Chandlers and Richard and Lisas tables have been pushed together and theyre all eating and talking.]
[Cut to Rosss apartment, hes watching TV and eating some popcorn as the phone rings.]
Joey: Well off the top of my head uhh, maybe shes having her cake and eating it too. You being the cake and Richard being the too. Or!
[Scene: A Pizza Joint, Chandler and Monica are eating lunch.]
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is cooking, Joey is eating, and Chandler is entering from the bedroom.]
Chandler: (with his mouth full) What happened? Im just eating candy.
Monica: We'd be eating our soup right now.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are eating lunch as Joey enters.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is eating at the counter as Joey enters.]
Joey: (eating) Huh. So then I can heat this up? (Goes and does so.)
(Joey enters eating potato chips.)
Chandler: Im full, and yet I know if I stop eating this, Ill regret it.
Chandler: Are you eating the cheesecake without me?!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is eating the cheesecake and Chandler enters and catches her in the act.]
[Cut back to Rachels party, everyone is now eating breakfast, except Rachel.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, the next morning, Rachel and Phoebe are eating breakfast.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is eating pizza as Joey returns from the Knicks game.]
[Scene: Chandler and Monicas, Chandler is sitting at the kitchen table eating cheesecake. The box it came in is also on the table.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel and Chandler are eating the cheesecake right out of the box.]
[Scene: Joey and wait just Joeys. Joey is sitting at the counter eating a pizza.]
Chandler: Pie eating contest?
[Time lapse, Ross and Joey are eating Rachels disaster.]
Dr. Long: You can take some caster oil, theres eating spicy foods
(She walks over to Central Perk and enters to find Ross sitting on the couch, eating crab cakes. She takes off her coat while groaning and shuddering.)
[Scene: The Lobby, Ross is eating a sandwich as Phoebe rushes up to him.]
Matt: Yeah, shes trying to waft the smell across the hall to get us to come hang out in her new place, and were sitting there eating pizza and I think it was you (Points to Lisa) that said
Ross: Come on! All the cool kids are eating em! (chases after her.)
Joey: Well, I think we've all learned something about who's disgusting and who's not. Eh? All right, now, I'm going to get back to my bucket. I'm only eating the skin, so the chicken's up for grabs. (Offers it to everyone.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is eating breakfast, Joey quietly opens his bedroom door.]
(With that we go into a little flashback about the guys memories of the duck. The first one is Joey playing with him in the bathtub and drying him off. Then its Chandler sitting on his couch after they moved into the girls apartment, and Chandler reading to him in bed, and him watching Baywatch when all they had was the canoe and the duck was in a bucket of water. Then we see Ross eating some cereal and the duck watching him. He takes a lamp and moves the duck off of the table. Then its Chandler shooing them out of the bathroom in the girls apartment, Joey revealing their disco cubby hole in the entertainment-center, then Chandler playing Hide-and-Go-Seek with them, and its concluded with various scenes with the duck flapping its wings. And the guys staring into the distance in remembrance of the duck.)