words in movies
Monica: This baby has got everything. Take yknow, locations for instance. (She opens up the binder to the locations chapter.) First, organized alphabetically, then geographically, then by square footage.
Ross: And that should conclusively prove that I had the idea for Jurassic Park first! Now lets take a look at (Phoebe rushes in.)
Ross: Oh my God! Of course, of course. (To the class.) Umm, would you please excuse me for a moment? Umm, do you know each others hometowns? Why dont you (Motions that they should learn everyones hometown.) (To Phoebe) Wh-whats going on?
Phoebe: Well, umm, not much. But, I was just thinking that since those guys just got engaged that maybe it would be nice if they had some privacy, yknow? So, could I just move in with you for a couple days?
Monica: All right, so I havent cleared the budget with my parents yet, but tell me how this is for music.
Monica: All right umm, a string quartet for the procession.
Monica: A jazz trio for cocktails. The Bay City Rollers for dancing. Wait, that was from my sixth grade wedding.
Chandler: Now, do I get to look at this book or is it just for people who are actually involved in the wedding?
Joey: All right, Im gonna go! (Gets up and heads for the door.)
[Cut to Joey and Rachels, Joey enters and heads for his bedroom. He pushes open the door to find the duck.]
Joey: Hey little buddy, how are you feeling? (The duck does not get sick and Joey recoils in horror and heads for the couch.) What the hell is in that face cream? (Hes about to try out the couch but notices the bed in Rachels room. He walks into her room and feels the bed.) Thats so soft. (He pulls back the comforter.) Pillowcases! (He climbs in and groans in delight. Suddenly, he feels something under him and pulls out a little beat up paperback book. He opens it and starts to read from it.) (In his head.) Zelda looked at the chimney sweep. Her father, the vicar (Stops reading and thinks.) The vicar? (Continues reading) wouldnt be home for hours. Her loins were burning. She threw caution to the wind and reached out and grabbed his (Out loud.) Whoa! (Reads on in silence.) Whoa-ho-ho-ho! This is a dirty book! (Continues to read.)
Joey: Where are you going? The vicar wont be home for hours.
Ross: Uh no-no, she-shes out for the night.
Monica: Well, at least youre not hearing it for the first time at your fifth grade Halloween party.
Mrs. Geller: Were sorry honey, but we just assumed if you got married after you turned 30 youd pay for it yourself.
Chandler: Clearly I did not start drinking enough at the start of the meal. (Starts to make up for lost time and takes a big swig of his drink.)
Monica: I cant believe it! That there is no money for my wedding?!
Monica: I cant believe this. Do you think that your parents could help pay for it?
Chandler: I dont know, my mother spent most of her money on her fourth wedding. Shes saving the rest for her divorce. And any extra cash my father has he saves for his yearly trips to (Pause) Dollywood.
Monica: My parents spent the money for our wedding!
Phoebe: Look, why dont you just pay for it yourself?
Monica: Its enough for wedding scenario eight.
Rachel: (starting to cry) Ohh, you guys are so made for each other.
Chandler: Well, come on, Ive been saving this money for six years and I kinda had some of it earmarked for the future, not just for a party.
Phoebe: My massage client, Arthur? His daughter called and said that some guy that worked for me gave him a really weird massage this afternoon.
Joey: Dude, what are you massaging an old man for?
Monica: Listen umm, Ive been thinking, its not fair for me to ask you to spend all of your money on our wedding. I mean, you work, you work really hard for that.
Monica: Eh, you work for that.
Joey: All right, Im sorry. Rach IRach Im sorry. Okay? Im sorry! Maybe I can make up for it by, taking you roughly in the barn. (Giggles.)
Rachel: Oh, come on now, dont keep me waiting. Get those clothes off! But, I would keep that helmet on because youre in for a rough ride! (He backs into the door.)
Rachel: Yknow, bonus night. Yknow, when two people break up but they get back together for just one night.
Phoebe: For 99 cents, I'd eat you. (Sees the casino) Okay, I can totally settle down here. It's got everything I could ever want, including Joey! Look! (Points to Joey in his gladiator suit posing for a picture with two old ladies.) Oh! Look! Hi!
Joey: Hey! Well I hope it goes better than the last time you did it for that girl downstairs, remember? (Phoebe glares at him.)
Phoebe: I thought you were excellent! In fact for a minute there I was like, "Ooh, whered Ross go?"
Joey: No, one man for the rest of my life? I dont know if I can do it! This means Ill never get to sleep with Joey!
Ross: It is time for you to give your maid of honor speech.
(Joey gets up and heads for the door. After a pause Ross decides to join him.)
Joey: Hey. Uh, can I talk to you for a second? This, uh, kid in this picture. Do you, uh, know this kid? Is that like a relative or something?
Joey: Okay, really good. Anyway I gotta go; Im late for work.
Julie: (To Rachel) Oh, you're losin' your apron here, let me get it. There you go. (Ties it back up for her)
Joey: (reacting first by jumping up) Dude! What the hell are you doing?! God! (Heads for his room leaving Ross.)
Phoebe: (to the girls) Hi! Hi! Listen, my friend Ross is about to be divorced for the third time, but wouldnt you date him?
Mrs. Potter: Mr. Simons been waiting for(sees Phoebe and Rick) Oh my God!
Ross: Okay, okay. This can go on for a while.
Ross: Oh for cryin out loud! (He storms out.)
Monica: Is it like for dinosaur emergencies. 'Help, come quick, they're still extinct.'
Phoebe: Hey Joey, yknow what? You are way to good for her.
Rachel: Yeah and honey I promise next time that I will just say good-bye and tell em youre not looking for a relationship.
Janice: Okay! (She runs for the bathroom)
Monica: Because Chandler still has feelings for you!
Joey: Okay. Okay, so Im writing you a check for So you fell asleep during my movie. Big deal right? How do you clear this thing?
Phoebe: Regular Celery! (Starts to write that on her list) Oh, I already have that. (She gets up and heads for her room)
Rachel: Okay, hold on just a second. (She grabs a camera out of the desk and takes his picture.) Im sorry, its for human resources, everybody has to do it. Could you just stand up please?
Rachel: (to Monica and Phoebe) Have I been living with him for too long, or did that all just make sense?
Tag: Hey, thanks for talking to me.
Ross: Huh? Oh-oh, it was fine. Uh, it was just a misunderstanding. She didnt want me to go with her. She just wanted to let me know that shes going to Florida for spring vacation.
Rachel: Well, what is a boss for? Hug it out! (They hug)
[Time lapse, Ross is still doing Chandler's game. Tag is heading for the balcony.]
Phoebe: Oh, no-no, this place is totally healthy! Thatthis milk is mine. I bought this today, 'cause I was thirsty for milk, y'know. (She takes a swig of it, but has to turn away from him as she makes a face to show that it has gone bad.) Okay, let's go!
Frannie: Are you kidding? I take credit for Paul. Y'know before me, there was no snap in his turtle for two years.
Phoebe: (interrupts him) No, no, we don't really have time for this right now. Okay, we have to keep Chandler away from my bedroom.
[Phoebe waves Monica in. Monica sneaks in with the bag with Clunkers in it and heads for Phoebe's room.]
Chandler: This is ridiculous. (He heads for Phoebe's bedroom)
Chandler: No, no he went for a walk.
Tag: Thanks for having me over, you guys.
Chandler: Yeah. (Throws the pad on the table and heads for the bedroom)
Monica: Please, don't listen to Joey, okay. Would you look at him? He-hes obviously depressed. He's away from his family; he's spending Thanksgiving with strangers. What he needs right now is for you to be his friend.
Phoebe: Well, it's a problem for me, which means it's a problem for you 'cause I'm a cop. (Shows the badge.)
Monica: Making holiday candy for the neighbors.
Mr. Treeger:: You think you could make a mess and the big man in coveralls will come in here and clean it up, huh? Well, why dont think of someone else for a change?
Joey: No hey Rach, its cool okay? Yknow Im a loner too! (Heads for his room.) Right?
Mr. Geller: And if you see Rita Moreno, let her know Im looking for her.
Rachel: (worried) Okay please, youre kidding right?! I wrote that one as a joke for you!
Chandler: Oh, come on Monica, reliving past pain and getting depressed is what Thanksgiving is all about. Y'know, for me anyway. And of course, the Indians.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is getting ready for her first day.]
Ross: You're welcome for a delicious dinner.
Joey: We don't? We really should. From now on, 'Bert' will be our code word for danger.
Joey: (behind them) Oh!! Shrimp toast! (Walks right past the little group on his way for the shrimp toast.)
Joey: Waiting for candy.
Joey: (A guy walks by) Bijan for men? (Another guy walks by) Bijan for men? (Another guy walks by) Bijan for men? (An attractive woman walks by.) Hey Annabelle.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is getting ready for his date with Kristen.]
(Phoebe turns to Rachel and mimes remove a lid of a jar. Ross enters and Paul motions for Rachel to leave with him now.)
Bonnie: So, anyone up for a midnight dip in the ocean?
Monica: Im fine now, but it was really scary there for a while. I mean, someone slipped a-a threatening note under the door.
Chandler: Extremely allergic, okay? If I'm anywhere near a dog for more than 5 minutes, my throat will just close up!
Joey: A little uh, good deed for PBS and a little TV exposure, now that's the kind of math Joey likes to do!
Joey: Hey! Great, youre home! Guess what Phoebe got me for Christmas! (Starts drumming.)
Maitre d': Oh-kay, we'll have a table for you in about 45 minutes.
Ross: (Thinking it over) Sure! (Takes one) Hey, I just found out, I get Ben for the holidays this year.
Joey: Oh. Well good! (To himself) For me. (He picks up a jar of lotion.) What is this? Did you give yourself a facial?
Monica: Oops! (Covers its eyes.) Yknow, your birthday is in a month-and-a-half, what do you say I forget to get you a present for that too?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Ross are laying out the ground rules for the maid of honor auditions to Rachel and Phoebe.]
Rachel: So what should we do? Should we start looking for a new place?
Ross: Thanks. (Phoebe gets up to get a refill.) (To Monica) Oh! So for tomorrow, do you want to rent a car and drive down together or what?
Joey: Hey, you can cancel plans with friends if there is the possibility for sex!
Ross: Yeah, thats okay, I mean if you guys all have to go away for the first weekend Im alone by myself, y'know then I totally, totally understand.
Chandler: Well, thank you for lunch.
Chandler: So apparently we just dont pay for food anymore. (Rachel laughs then Chandler notices something.) Do you see what I see?
Joey: Okay, the next situation is for Rachel. The wedding is about to start you walk into the back room and you find Monica taking a nap with Ross. (Ross lies on the floor.) Ill be Monica. Go! (He jumps down and cuddles up with Ross.)
Monica: Phoebe, can I talk to you for a second?
The Waiter: (To Joey) And for you sir?
Ross: Okay, okay, so we're in the car. Right? And bang! A shot was fired. And Joey with no regard for his own safety throws himself on me!
Rachel: Oh for God sake just pick a piece!
[Scene: Ross and Carol's, Ross and Carol are waiting anxiously for their new partner to arrive.]
Monica: Phoebe, hes gotta be in the room for that to work.
[Ross enters behind Rachel, and look at each other for a moment.]
Joey: Exactly! All right, everybody, listen up. The coffeehouse is going to be closed for about an hour.
Ross: Uh-huh. But it was a first for the rest of my building.
Ross: Oh see, I-I needed a new thing for today and there's this leather store that always smells so good and I thought to myself, "Wow, (To Chandler) I never really owned a good smelling pair of pants before."
Chandler: So what do you think? I want that guys genes for my kid! Those eyes, those cheeckbones!
Rachel: (looks around for the camera) Okay. Umm, well, first I would like to start by apologizing for kissing you and uh, for yelling at you.
Phoebe: Okay, whatever. Yknow what? I dont have time have time to convince you because hes only here for four hours, and Im gonna go see him! (Gets up and leaves.)
Rachel: Can I see you in my office for a minute?
Joey: It was amazing! And not just for her... uh-uh. For me, too. It's like, all of a sudden, I'm blind. But all my other senses are heightened, y'know? It's like... I was able to appreciate it on another level.
Rachel: (pause as she realizes her lame attempt to shift the blame has failed) I am so hot for you right now.
Joey: (angrily) Yeah? Maybe we should talk about that for a little while!
Rachel: So that there will be a decent place for me to sit.
Ross: They kept your room for a while.
(Rachel turns for the door and makes the "Wow!" face.)
Mr. Bowmont: What the hell, its for a good cause! All right!
Joey: Ah, Gunther, I cant pay for this right now because Im not working, so Ive had to cut down on some luxuries like uh, payin for stuff.
RACH: [obviously drunk] I mean, it's a cat, y'know, it's a cat. Why can't they get one of those bugs, y'know, one of those fruitflies, those things that live for like a day or something? [belligerently] What're they called, what're they called, what're they called?
Rachel: Ugh! Get out! Get out! Go! Come on! (Ross gets up and heads for the kitchen.) No! Not in there! Hes in there! (She points Ross to the door next to the kitchen.)
Joey: Hey, Gunther. Can you uh, can you cover for me? I just got an audition.
Phoebe-Estelle: It’s a little coincidental, but believable. (Joey nods in agreement). Listen, I’m sure you’re wondering why I didn’t get you an audition for that TV movie.
Mr. Geller: (To Monica) Why dont we take it for a spin?
Chandler: Okay look, don't...don't be mad okay? But after I unpacked the boxes I wanted to do something nice for you, so, I-I-I cleaned the apartment. So I moved everything around and then I forgot where it, where it went back and I'm sorry, I'm very sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
[Scene: The Hallway between the Apartments, Ross is hiding behind that bump out on Monicas side waiting for Phoebe and Rachel. As they come up the stairs, he jumps out and yells ]
Chandler: (frustrated) Okay, for the last time. Its not named for each individual man.
Ross: Hop in. (Phoebe hops in.) Get ready for the smoothest ride of your life.