words in movies
(Gary reaches up to grab that little light that cops have for unmarked cop cars.)
Ross: Oh hey, Gary, want me to grab the berry for ya?
Joey: (dejected) Yeah okay. (To Chandler) Even though my tax dollars paid for this car.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Rachel is just entering. She takes off her coat and heads for the kitchen. As she does, she knocks something off of a bookcase next to the kitchen door with her coat and it breaks.]
Rachel: Ohh please don't be from a real dinosaur! Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! (She picks up the 2 pieces and looks at the stand.) Made in Mexico! Yes!! Ugh, who would buy this?! (Looks for a place to hide it and finds a wall sconce and drops the pieces into it and heads into the kitchen as the phone rings.)
(She hangs up the phone and starts to head back to the kitchen and notices some money lying out, stops, reaches down to pick it up, the phone rings causing her to drop it, she quickly puts it back, and heads for the kitchen.)
Monica: Wow! Play that message for Emily and this whole problem goes away!
Ross: Okay, okay, so we're in the car. Right? And bang! A shot was fired. And Joey with no regard for his own safety throws himself on me!
Chandler: Yeah! If the car that backfired had run over you! Y'know what, I think I'll go home before Ross starts rambling about his newfound respect for life. (He gets up and starts for the door.)
Ross: I do have a newfound respect for life.
Chandler: Oh, I just went for a walk, around the living room. Whatever
Chandler: When it comes down to it, you would risk your life for Ross before you would for me. That's the bottom line.
Joey: Look Chandler, it was instinct! Okay? I just went for it!
Chandler: So you risked your life, for a sandwich!
Joey: Yeah! In fact, to prove how much you mean to me, (He unwraps the sandwich and holds it out for Chandler) here.
Ross: No, a car backfired, but (Rachel suddenly calms down) I thought somebody was taking a shot at me. And Rach, I I survived! And I was filled with this-this great respect for life. Y'know? I-I want to experience every moment. I want to seize every opportunity. I-I am seeing everything so-so clearly now.
Rachel: No, she left a message. (He starts for the machine.) (Stopping him.) But it-it kinda got erased. There's just (Pause) something wrong with your machine.
Rachel: Okay. Thank you! Thank you! BecauseI'm sorry, all right. Because y'know what? She didn't want menot important. The point is, I was right. Your decision. Okay? I was right. (She starts for the door.) (Stops) Your decision.
Rachel: I mean, look-look today you escaped (Pause) (Not believing it) death, y'know? And maybe this is a chance for you to escape getting back together with Emily?
Rachel: No. (She heads for the door again.)
Rachel: (going out the door) Yeah, uh you-you probably need that for stamps, right?
Ross: Hey Pheebs, has Gary ever been shot at for real?
CHAN: [slowly lifts coffee cup to his mouth] Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. [slowly sets the cup back down] Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. [Joey intercepts the cup and puts it down for him]. She's insane, the woman is insane. It's before work, it's after work, it's during work. She's got me doing butt clenches at my desk. And now, they won't bring me my mail anymore.
Monica: Which we are, and-and we already paid for it. Its My Giant!
Chandler: Okay, y'know your not though. Let's go. (He starts for his bedroom.)
Rachel: Well, we were walking down the street and we saw that van that you guys used for catering and we realised
Rachel: Oh my gosh! Oh wow! Oh, I know what this is! (Shes holding an item with a large suction cup connected to a yellow plastic box, with a long narrow tube and bottle connected the yellow part.) Wait a minute. That cant be right. Is that a beer bong for a baby?
The Vendor: So, what are you guys in the market for? Weve got uh, scarves, tulip post cards...
Monica: (Poking her head in) Rach? Can I talk to for just a minute? I-I dropped some socks.
Joey: (approaching) Ross, hey, the bands ready outside for your first dance with Emily, so
Jim: I write erotic novels, for children.
Monica: What?! You cant shed a tear for your dead wife!! Now, I left you a note from the beyond!
Ross: is for me not to see you anymore.
Monica: Chandler! (Motions for him to come outside.)
Chandler: So, thanks for having me over! Rach. (Goes over, grabs her, and kisses her.) Pheebs. (After a moment while he decides how to kiss her around her belly, grabs her and kisses her.)
Chandler: Joey, can I talk to you for a second? (He grabs him and starts to drag Joey into Monica's room.)
Phoebe: Count for what?
Monica: Hey, don't blame me for wigging tonight!
Chandler: Aren't you supposed to be at an audition for another hour?
(Ross suddenly gets up and heads for the bathroom.)
(Phoebe is trying not to smile. He moves closer and very shyly holds out his hand and turns his head, hoping for Phoebe to take his hand. She doesn't.)
(They struggle for the cart. Finally, Rachel climbs inside of it.)
Phoebe: Hey! So I had a great day, Rick and I really hit it off, and we started making out, and then my boss walked in and fired me for being a whore.
Monica: Oh he's nice. He's nice! Y'know, you always stick up for the people we fog!
Phoebe: Oh No, I did that for someone once and I'm not comfortable having that kind of power and control over someone's life.
Joey: Yeah, the other day I was at the bus-stop and this lovely fall breeze came in out of nowhere and blew this chick's skirt right up. Oh! Which reminds me, I'm also thankful for thongs. (Note: Actually, I think every guy is thankful for thongs. That and spandex. J )
Danny: Okay. (Heads for his apartment.)
Rachel: Oh yeah, really? Is it Ross? Yeah? Okay, well let me make this a just a little bit easier for you.
Ross: (laughs as well, but for a different reason) Yeah, I didnt think of that.
Chandler: What if Mary-Angela comes to the door and I ask for Mary-Angela?
The Stripper: Did anybody call for security?
Monica: Ugh, yknow, umm we gotta get up early and catch that plane for New York.
Mrs. Geller: Theres nothing to discuss. Were not paying for your wine cellar.
(She heads for the kitchen door and just after she goes through the door )
Monica: Right, you only go for them 5 minutes before they get married.
Joey: Uhh, my stunt double. Yeah, and y'know, he's getting a little too familiar for my tastes.
Shop assistant: (to a girl) Incentive For Men?
Chandler: All right, look, youre not really gonna buy that are you? Dont you think youve embarrassed me enough for one day?
Chandler: Okay. (Starts to head for where the foosball table usually is.)
Monica: All right then, go fight for her! Go to London! I mean, that could be you and Emily! (Points to the TV.) That, but-but nicer. Just, go to London!
Joey: (in a sexy voice) Yep! There's always room for Jell-O
Phoebe: You guys were right. Hes just too excited about everything. I mean Im all for living life, but this is the Gellers 35th anniversary. Okay? Lets call a spade a spade this party stinks.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there waiting for Larry.]
Larry: (entering) Hey, ready for dinner?
Monica: Oh no-no-no, its only one night a week, and plus I get to take all of you out for a lot of free dinners.
(Rachel spins the bottle and it lands on .wait for it .Joshua. (You thought I was going to say Ross, didnt you?) Rachel squeals in delight and starts a slow sexy crawl over to Joshua, making sure he and everyone else watching gets a good look at her cleavage.)
Rachel: Phoebe, you were right. I should've never gone to London, and from now on you make all of my decisions for me.
Phoebe: Ok. Hello everyone and thank you all for being here tonight. So tomorrow's the big event and some of you might not know, but Mike and I didn't get off to the best start. (she reads a note). My friend Joey and I decided to fix each other up with friends so I, I... (Monica is twirling her hands in order to make Phoebe speed up her speech) oh I... hum... I gave it a lot of thought and I fixed him up with my friend Mary Ellen who couldn't be here tonight because... (Monica is tapping her watch with her finger) it's not important... she is in rehab. Anyway, so, ok, Joey said that he was fixing me up with his friend Mike, only he didn't have a friend Mike so he just brought, uhm, my Mike and, and (Monica clears her throat) but despite, you know... it got... it got good. Ok, I wanna take a moment to mention my mother, who couldn't be here...
Rachel: (entering) Oh-ho, my God! That was so awesome! You totally got him back for calling you fat! He was just drooling all over you. That must've felt so great!
Mr. Geller: Oh, I'm not falling for that one!
RACH: Oh what, my whole insane jealousy thing? Well, y'know, as much fun as that was, I've decided to opt for sanity.
Joey: Uh! That's a tough one. Oh! Wait a minute, this happened to me before! Yeah, I was auditioning for a play and the producer fell asleep and... (pause) no wait a minute... it was me who fell asleep... Yeah I mean hey, Shakespeare, how about a chase scene once in a while!?
Joey: Oh, and guess what, I got an audition for All My Children.
Chandler: All right everybody, I know that it's Christmas Eve and you'd rather be with your families, but there's *no* call (he takes it off) for writing "Screw you, Mr. Bing!" on the back of my chair! (he looks at it) -- By the way, you can all call me Chandler.
Chandler: Really?! I-I thought you werent looking for something serious? I thought you were looking for some kind of a fling.
Phoebe: Theres a reset button?! Ugh, thank you! Thank you! (He exits and she goes to shut it off.) Theres a reset button! My God! Why didnt I see that! (She takes off the plastic cover and looks for the button.) Reset button, reset button, where is there a reset button? (Finds it.) Oh here it is! (Picks it up off of the floor.) Oh! (She presses it hard, but of course it would help if the button was still attached to the detector. In frustration she presses it so hard it causes pain in her thumb.) Ohh, God!
Ross: No, it's just...you know the whole "getting on with your life" thing. Well, do I have to? I mean, I'm sitting here with this cute woman, and, and, and she's perfectly nice, and, but that there's, that's it. And um, and then I'm here talkin' to you, and, and it's easy, and it's fun, and, and I don't, I don't have to...You know, here's a wacky thought. Um, what's say you and I give it another shot? No no no, I know what you're gonna say, you're a lesbian. But what do you say we just put that aside for now you know? Let's just stick a pin in it, ok? Because, we're great together, you know. You can't deny it. Besides, you're carrying my baby. I mean, how perfect is that? But see, you know, you keep sayin' that, but there's somethin' right here. I love you.
(Chandler silently pleads with Joey to cover for them.)
Ross: (breaking the hug) Ohh, I gotta go to the flower store! (Runs to the door.) Check it out, no one will tell me where Emily is, so I'm gonna send 72 long-stem, red roses to Emily's parent's house, one for each day that I've known and loved her. That oughta get her talking to me again.
Ross: Now, hold on! Hold on! (Stops him) Look, look, your daughter and I are supposed to leave tonight for our honeymoon, now-now you-you tell her that Im gonna be at that airport and I hope that shell be there too! Oh yeah, I said Rachels name, but it didnt mean anything, Okay? Shes-shes just a friend and thats all! (Rachel sits down, depressed.) Thats all! Now just tell Emily that I love her and that I cant imagine spending my life with anyone else. Please, promise me that youll tell her that.
Emily: Well, you have to understand how humiliating it was for me up on that altar in front of my entire family, all my friends.
(Nina beams flirtatiously at Chandler, who catches her drift, but for once hes lost for something to say – so she nods her head to tell him that hes thinking correctly...)
Joey: Yeah, try sticking it in the freezer for 20 minutes. (They all look around and then back at Joey.) Im tellin ya!
Ross: He gave me a pill for it.
Danny: Yeah, what's the gala for?
[Scene: The Storage Room in the basement of Monica and Rachel's building, Monica and Rachel are looking for something.]
Chandler: All right everybody! Just be quiet! Be quiet! Be quiet!! Pipe-pipe-pipe down! (They settle down) What is the matter with you people?! This woman was trying to do a nice thing for you. She was making candy so she could try to get to know all of you, and Ill bet that not one of you can tell me her name! Am I right?
Phoebe: Yeah! Well, I really liked that Lamaze class I took! Y'know and this time I thought I'd go for something, y'know a little more intellectual, with a less painful final exam.
Chandler: Leave me alone! For the love of God, leave me alone!!! (Joey hangs up.)
Joey: Hey! Y'know how we ah, save all those chopsticks for no reason we get when we get Chinese food?
ROSS: Well for starters, you may want to light it and lose the spatula.
(They wait for Joey to go into his room and close the door and then start making out again.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is about ready to leave for Atlantic City.]
The Man: I'm making change. I need change for the bus.
Joey: That part was perfect for me! I can't believe I didn't get it!
Phoebe: Excuse me, but umm, isnt he paying for your dinner?
Phoebe: Atlantic City, baby! Let's roll some bones! Hey Joey, high-five for rolling bones!
Monica: Yeah. I mean it was kinda fun for a while, but didnt you start feeling silly?
Ross: (entering) Pheebs, you mind if I speak to Rachel alone for a sec?
Chandler: Well, so, play for the next 30 minutes and then write until he gets home.
Ross: Emily? Emily! Oh my God! Oh my God, it's Emily! (He picks up a lamp and hands it to Chandler, for no reason.) It's Emily everyone! Shush-shush-shhst! (to Emily) Hi!
Ross: Yeah, not since I got too strong for you.
Monica: Too strong for me?
Chandler: I paid for those tickets!
Phoebe: Y'know what you should send him? A cartoon of cigarettes. 'Cause that why he could trade it for protection. No. That's prison.
Monica: Well, umm, Walker was looking for this big bus load of kids . (realises) All right, I get your point.
Melanie: Mmmmmm... Oh, Joey, Joey, Joey... I think I blacked out there for a minute!
Chandler: (deadpan, standing next to Monica) We're very happy for you.
Chandler: No, I didn't misunderstand, okay? She was all over me! She touched my bicep for crying out loud!
Joey: So did that do anything for ya?
Phoebe: Maybe your resolution is to not make fun of your friends, especially the ones who may soon be flying you to Europe for free on their own plane.
Joey: Nice!! Yeah! Is that part of your resolution, your new thing for today?
Joey: See ya! All right Pheebs, I am ready for my first lesson.
Joey says "Ichiban". It displays a few girls dancing around and Joey fills most of the screen, he puts something blue on his lips and smacks them saying "Lipstick For Men!" It goes on to show him playing a guitar and putting on more blue lipstick. In the end he says seductively "Ichiban... Lipstick For Men" and "Sahiko" and it ends. Chandler and Rachel are speechless.)
Joey: Clear the tracks for the boobie payback express. Next stop: Rachel Green. (He goes into the bathroom. We hear a scream and he comes out, closely followed by Monica in a towel)
Monica: Thank you!(she looks at the 3rd customer waiting for a compliment) You haven't said anything...
CHANDLER: Alright look Ross I'll give you 50 dollars for your underpants.
Chandler: Forget it! Okay, Im not giving up my bachelor pad for some basketball seats!
MNCA: But I'm gonna be there... for the rest of my life. I mean, I can't break up with him. I'm the one who made him quit drinking. He's dull because of me.
Kate: That info-mercial! For the milk carton spout thing! Youre-youre-youre the guy that doesnt know how to pour milk!!
[Scene: An airport in London, Ross is waiting for Emily to show up to go on their honeymoon and sees Rachel walking past.]
Joey: Oh, I am going to go for a walk in the rain.