words in movies
Mike: You need both hands for that?
Phoebe: I'm sorry... I'm sorry. It's obviously way too early for us to be... having that conversation.
Mike: Okay, when I got divorced, I didn't think I'd feel this way about someone for a really long time... Then again, I didn't think I'd meet someone like you... and... this may be crazy soon, but... I want you to have this... (He tries to get something from his pocket, but it's not that easy... Phoebe looks in a "what's happening" face to him. He finally has found something) No, not... that's gum. (He digs in a little more.) Ooh, five bucks... I love it when that happens, you know... Think no note's there...
Mike: Oh, sorry. (He digs in again and finally finds what he's been looking for. A key.)
Phoebe: (really surprised) Oh wow, ooh! Ooh, big step for Phoebe and Mike.
Rachel: So I don't go back to work for another four weeks, but we would like our nanny to start right away, so that Emma could get a chance to know her.
Prospective nanny: (in a sweet, caring voice) I think that's really smart. The easier we can make the transition for her, the better. (Ross and Rachel seem pleased with the answer.)
Rachel: That's great, great. So do you have any questions for us?
Rachel: Allright. Well thank you so much for coming... (they're standing up and make their way to the door)
Ross: She was blonde? (he looks surprised for a while, but then gets a "gotcha" expression on his face... There's knocking at the door.) Just a sec.! Okay, okay. This one's name is Sandy. She's got a degree in early childhood education, uhm... she worked for her last family for three years.
David: Well, just for a couple of days, uhm... I'm here to explain to the people who gave us our grant, why it's a positive thing that we spent all their money and uhm... accomplished uhm... nothing.
Phoebe: Wow. Where is your luggage? (David thinks for a while)
David: Are... are you kidding? You know, when you don't see someone for a long time, a-a-and you kind of build them up in your head and you start thinking about: Come on, don't be crazy. Nobody is that beautiful, but... well, you are. (Phoebe seems very charmed) Well, so, uhm... are you seeing... anyone? (Phoebe is still up on a cloud from what David just said)
Phoebe: (sarcastically) Uhuh... Yeah...!, you know. And given my life long search for irony, you can imagine how happy I am.
Chandler: (angry) Funniest guy she's ever met! (to the door) I'm funny, right...? What do you know, you're a door... You just like knock-knock jokes... (laughs about himself, but then gets determined again) Save it for inside! (he enters)
Sandy: I realise how it's... a bit unorthodox for some people, but I really believe, the most satisfying thing you can do with your life, is take care of a child.
Sandy: Like in my last job, I met Daniel when he was three weeks old. And I got to watch him grow into this awesome person... When I left, I said: I'll see you soon... And he said to me: Skdandy... (Ross and Rachel look puzzled) That was his name for me... I'll see you every day... right in... (points at his heart, but starts to cry before he can finish his sentence. Rachel tries to comfort him, but Ross has this "you've got to be kidding me" look all over him)
Sandy: Oh, oh, I can do it for her, if you want...
Rachel: Oh, that would be great! (Sandy leaves for Emma's room) I love him, I love him, I love him...
Ross: What kind of job is that for a man? A nanny? I-It's like if a woman wanted to be...
Chandler: Hey! (Joey doesn't look up, but gestures 'wait a minute' with his finger while he finishes reading the article. Chandler waits for Joey to finish.) I need you to set me up for a joke. Later, when Monica is around, I need you to ask me about fire trucks.
Ross: And I'm fine never having heard it... (Rachel looks at Ross in a "why do you say that" manner) Rach, can I... can I see you for a sec?
Rachel: Okay, what? What is too sensitive? (There's music coming from the living room. Ross opens the door to the living room and he and Rachel see Sandy play a song for Emma on his recorder. Rachel is moved by this, but Ross only sees his point proven again, and walks back into the kitchen, angrily. The door he was holding, swings back and hits Rachel.)
Phoebe: (points to David) And you thanks for the face massage. Thank you.
Phoebe: No, uhm... David and I did use to go out... but years ago, and he lives in Minsk. He's only... he's only in town for a couple of days.
Sandy: Who's up for puppets?
Joey: Me! I'm up for puppets!
Sandy: Actually studies have shown that the movement and colours help their cerebral development... The whimsical characters are just for us. (He winks to Joey and Rachel. Ross's face says he disapproves. Joey sees that and kind of angrily says...)
Ross: Oh, I'm sorry. Please apologise to Sandy and the Snufflebumps for me.
Pete: (to Monica, by the door) So ah, we on for tomorrow?
PHOEBE: Oh God, here we go. For the first time in my life I'm gonna say 'Hi birthfather'.
Ross: A big idiot. Just you have to realize is, this whole Mark thing is kinda hard for me.
[Scene: The Theatre, Joey and Kate are rehearsing for the play.]
Ross: Oh yeah, shes-shes amazing. And-and shes so much fun. And! Yknow what? When Im with her, Im fun! I even signed up for helicopter classes. (Chandler is shocked.) Shes leaving in two days, I dont have to do it.
Mischa: (to Monica) Oh, hes unbelievable. I mean for the first time in three years somebody wants to actually want to talk to me, but do you think he would let me enjoy that, no!! (to Sergei) You silly diplomat, why dont you learn some English, Sergei?
Pete: One meal! Thats all Im asking for. Please? We go out, we eat, and if you dont have a good time, I give you ten grand, we call it even.
Rachel: Well, Ill ask him for you, if you want me too?
Phoebe: (to the nurse) Excuse me? Could you help me with something? The patient Im looking for has a broken leg and is in a wheelchair. And umm, hes like early to mid-thirties, very attractive.
Rachel: God, isn't this exciting? I earned this. I wiped tables for it, I steamed milk for it, and it was totally(opens envelope)not worth it. Who's FICA? Why's he getting all my money? I mean, what- Chandler, look at that.
Rachel: Well (At a loss for words, she grabs some of Monica's laundry and throws it on the floor as a diversion to allow Rachel to run back inside and close the door. Monica chases her to find that Rachel had locked the door.)
Joanna: Well, thanks again for lunch.
[Scene: The Theatre, Kate is arriving for rehearsal.]
Chandler: Oh, I can uh, check that for ya.
Joey: Ah, can I just say I know we're doing this for Ross, and that's cool, but if it was up to me, this is not what we'd be doing on our first date.
CHAN: Well is she... [reaches into the cookie jar for a cookie, takes his hand out, covered with pasta sauce]
(Of course its too late for that.)
RACHEL: Well, um . . . I don't know.� I mean, for a long time nothing.� But you know, actually right before you picked me up, Ross and I had a . . . ah . . . little thing.
Phoebe: Ohh, Monica, I am so excited for you.
Ross: There you go! Good enough for your party, huh?
Chandler: I can check that for ya.
Monica: You still have feelings for me dont you?
Monica: All right shut up for a second and let me just see something. (She kisses him back on the lips) Oh, wow! (They then hug and kiss, very passionately.)
Ross: I was kinda, supposed to be on TV tonight for The Discovery Channel.
(They both look at each other for a while)
Joey: Uh, listen I gotta double check for tickets tonight. Who-who got what?
Rachel: Ross, you got that for free from the museum gift shop.
Chandler: The problem is, though, after the concert's over, no matter how great the show was, you girls are always looking for the comedian again, y'know? I mean, we're in the car, we're fighting traffic... basically just trying to stay awake.
Phoebe: Wow, a house for dolls, that is so cool! When I was kid, I had a barrel.
Rachel: No! No! No! No its not! No its not! Come on! Phoebe, ours is totally different! I mean we dont have the (Looks desperately for something different.) We dont have the that lamp! And-and that screen is yknow, on the other side.
Hold Voice: Thank you for your patience, youre the next caller.
Phoebe: Yeah, otherwise, I mean thats, thats, thats just it for us hanging out together. Y'know is that what you want? (they both look away) Can you be civil?
Ross: I do not have feelings for Rachel! Okay?! (He goes into her apartment.)
Monica: Yeah, and in the long version, I dump him for telling people the short version.
Chandler: Math!! Youre giving me math! All right, look y'know what, forget about it, you go for the girl, well see who gets her.
Joey: Ooh-ooh, I! I am thankful for this beautiful fall we've been having.
Rachel: Well, oh, Mark, Im doing this for the wrong reasons, y'know? Im just doing it to get back at Ross. Im sorry, its not very fair to you.
Chandler: Ok, Janice. Janice. Hey, Janice. Look, there's no way for me to tell you this. At least there's no new way for me to tell you this. I just don't things are gonna work out.
Kate: Yep! I sure know how to pick em, huh? Y'know I gave up a part on a soap for this!
RICHARD: Ooh, then I guess the panty raid last night was totally uncalled for. Ok, I am going to take a shower and today I will be singing Jim Crochee's Leroy Brown.
Ross: Yeah, hey I-I have clothes, I even pick them out. I mean for, for all you know I could be a fashion..... monger.
[Scene: Ross's apartment. Ross is setting up for his time with Marcel. Joey is there.]
Kate: Last night was wonderful. But I-I cant stay here just for you.
Ross: Well, thats what Im here for. (Emma starts crying again) Want me to get that?
Kate: They still want me for General Hospital.
Joey: No-no, not for like another two weeks.
Monica: Well, um, look I-I dont want this to come our wrong, but ah, you seem awfully confident for a guy I just told I wasnt attracted too.
Gary: Phoebe, can I talk to you for a second?
Joey: Whoa! For a rich guy he's got, that's a pretty small TV.
Chandler: Yes. Yes, and ah, ah, the trees are happy too, because for most of them, its the only chance to see New York.
Joey: Hey, listen, I gotta tell ya, I feel kinda bad taking credit for this, because man, am I gonna get a lot of credit for this!
CHANDLER: You'll see, you guys are all gonna go off and get married, and I'm gonna end up alone. Will you promise me something? When you're married, will you invite me over for holidays?
Monica: Look at us all dressed up for the big office party! By the way, what are we celebrating?
Jason: Y'know Phoebe, Im gonna make this real easy for you. (walks out)
Ross: (on phone) Thats right, Ryder. Wynona Ryder for six. (listens) Thank you. (hangs up) (to the gang) Yeah, we have the reservations.
Issac: Yo, Chloe, do you have a quarter for the condom machine?
Phoebe: Great! Okay, good for you! (as they leave she slaps Rachel on the butt)
Monica: Hey, are we still on for tonight?
[cut to onstage with Lauren standing in for Kate, the doorbell rings.]
Hoshi: All right, on the table. (Pete gets on the table for his rubdown)
[Cut to Joey hanging up the phone in Vegas. He's wearing a Roman gladiator's uniform and goes over to join a family to pose for a picture. You see, he's apparently taken a job at Caesar's Palace.]
Monica: And I suppose you used a ring designer for that.
Monica: Oh come on, its only fair, you paid for the flight. Now is, is that enough lire?
ESTELLE: Look honey, people get fired left and right in this business. I already got you an audition for Another World.
Ross: No, no, no... why, because it might get weird for everyone else? Who cares about them. This is about us. Look, I-I've been in love with you since, like, the ninth grade.
(She goes in, and sees Jason without his shirt. It turns out that he has a great body too, and is at a loss for words.)
Rachel: Oh honey, I'm sorry we can't help you there, 'cause we're cuddlily sleepers. (Chandler makes an 'Ewww' face) Okay, I'm late for work.
Kate: He happens to be brilliant. Which is more than I can say for that sweater youre dating.
[Ross comes out of Rachel's bedroom in her bathrobe and heads for the bathroom. On his way back, Richard comes out of Monica's bedroom in her bathrobe.]
Phoebe: No! Rachel, thats what they want me to do. My warranty expires tomorrow, if I dont get through, theyre not gonna fix my crappy, broken phone for free! We cannot let them win! Its us versus them!
Chandler: Buy it for ya, or win it for ya?
Frank: I know! Why dont you get drunk! That worked for a lot of girls in my high school.
Chandler: Yeah, well, lucky for you.
Rachel: Im going for a walk.
[Scene: Backstage at Joeys play, Joey is changing for the next scene as Kate arrives, carrying her bags.]
Joey: (to Ross) Wanna play strip poker for practice?
Rachel: I’m telling you guys, we followed them out to a house in Westchester, the went in for like forty-five minutes and then they came out looking pretty happy!
Joey: I know Im having the worst time. There was a 15-minute line for the buffet, and when I finally got up to the plates, I slipped on a giant booger!
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Phoebe is pacing back and forth waiting for someone.]
Joey: Did you not hear the plot of the movie? "She's been dead for ten years." I'm gonna be a millionaire!
DIRECTOR'S ASSISTANT: Hey Sal, Jerry wants to know if the monkey's ready for the subway set?
[cut to Monica opening the door of the beach house, with Chandler trying to pick her up for a date.]
Phoebe Sr: Ohh, well. Y'know we were always together, in fact the had a nickname for the three of us.
Rachel: Well, Ill be waiting for you, just come up when youre done.
Monica: Hey, Rachel, Can-can I see you for a sec?
[Scene: A hallway, Ross is selling Brown Bird cookies for Sarah, he stops and knocks on a door.]
Rachel: Okay, Pheebs, yknow what, lets look at this objectively all right? Ninth grade, right? The obsession starts. All right? The summer after ninth grade he sees me in a two-piece for the first time, his obsession begins to grow. So then
Jay Leno: (on TV) Folks, when we come back we'll be talking about her new book, 'Euphoria Unbound': the always interesting Nora Tyler Bing. You might wanna put the kids to bed for this one.
Ross: Okay, theres this guy, Warren, from the museum and hes going on a dig for like two years and hes got this great place he needs to sublet. So uh, you interested?
Ross: (running to the door) Oh, mine! Mine! Mine! (to everyone) Okay, here goes. Prepare yourselves for some Class A flirting.
(Rachel brightly limps back across the apartment with glasses of wine for the cute doctors, leaving an open-mouthed Monica in her wake.)
Ross: And for the record, it took two people to break up this relationship!!
Rachel: Yeah! You and that girl from that copy place, which yesterday you took full responsibility for!!
Ross: Come on, show them to me. (reaches for her cards, Rachel covers them up)
Joey: (to Peter) Good for you!!
Rachel: You guys, theres a little girl in Soho looking for this cat. I mean, you know what that means?!
ROSS: Yes. [pulls them off and hands them to Mr. Greene] I was just warming up the earpieces for you.
(Ross motions for the girls to pick.)
Mr. Waltham: I-I was wondering, my niece you see is in from Londonwell Shropshire really but yknowwell shes about your age I say. Anyway I have tickets for the opera, Die Fledermaus, and I was wondering if youd like to keep her company this evening?
Ross: Thanks for the coffee, or bedankt voor de koffie, Gunter. (He translates that phrase into Dutch.)