words in movies
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are showing everyone the van they bought for the catering business. Its an old Dodge van, that has a cartoon woman riding on a dragon painted on the side of it.]
Phoebe: Yeah, its for our catering business!
Monica: Well, Im gonna fill in for him as food critic for the Chelsea Reporter.
Monica: Oh no-no-no, its only one night a week, and plus I get to take all of you out for a lot of free dinners.
Chandler: (entering) Hey, you guys! Hey, Ross, quick question for ya. Are you ready to party?
Ross: I dont know, I could maybe go out for a couple of beers, but theres this thing about bumblebees on The Discovery Channel that I was planning to watch.
Rachel: Oh, uh, Joanna I was wondering if I could ask you something. Theres an opening for an assistant buyer in Junior Miss
Joanna: (interrupting) Okay, but that would actually be a big step down for me.
Rachel: Well, actually, I meant for me. The hiring committee is meeting people all day and
Joanna: Oh. Well, I wish I could say no, but you cant stay my assistant forever. Neither can you Sophie, but for different reasons.
Chandler: Look you dont understand, Gandolf is amazing. Yknow youre never know whats gonna end up happening, you go out for a couple of beers and end up on a fishing boat to Nova Scotia!
Joanna: Oh. And Rachel has been really incredible in getting my morning bagel for me. Its amazing how she gets it right almost every time!
Phoebe: Oh, okay! (reading) "Would I go back to Allesandros? Sure, but Id have to order two meals, one for me and one for the guy pointing the gun to my head." (to Monica) Wow! You really laid into this place.
Phoebe: Ooh, I gotta go. I found a guy that who could fix up the van for catering.
Joanna: Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait!! If youre gonna get all sensitive about it! I dont want to lose you. What if I, create a position for you? Ill make you an assistant buyer in this department.
Rachel: Hey Mon, little question for ya! How do you think this suit will look on an assistant buyer?
Rachel: Hey, Pheebs, quick question for ya.
Monica: Ohh! Umm, Phoebe, I kinda need to talk to you about that. (Rachel excuses herself) Umm, well I-I-I think it might be time for me to take a step back from catering.
Monica: Its okay, cause y'know what? You dont really need me for the business.
Phoebe: Youre the cook! With out you its just me driving up to peoples houses with empty trays and asking for money!
Phoebe: For what? I cant believe this! I gotta get out of here. (leaves)
Phoebe: Oh! It will be fun! Ohh! Yay! Oh! Okay, ooh, lets plan the wedding reception. (She grabs the notebook which Monica used for her ideas and starts flipping page after page after page after page after page to find a blank one.) Wow! You really wanted me to do something with this van. (pause) Yknow what, I want you to take the chef job.
[Scene: Rachels office, she is coming in for the day carrying a picture for her new office. Mrs. Lynch is coming out of Joannas office, carrying a box.]
Rachel: Yes, so close. Mrs. Lynch, I know that this is an emotional and difficult time, for all of us. But by any chance did Joanna send any paperwork your way before it happened.
Allesandro: Im so excited about having Monica come on board with us. Although I do feel bad about having fired chef Emillio, its like losing a member of the family. Of course, that literally is the case for several of you. Tony, Carlos, Marie, please, tell your father how much were gonna miss him. Now, I know that Monica has a lot of great ideas for this place, well, you all read the review. So without much further ado, I present to you our new head chef.
Gary: Okay. And don't worry, I'm not just gonna take you out for donuts.
Ross: Rach! Wait! The men's room is that way. (Points in the other direction. Rachel hits him with her purse and heads for the ladies room.)
Ross: Okay when you're playing a machine and it hasn't paid out, a lurker waits for you to give up and then
Joey: Right! Okay. (Heads for the bathroom.)
Janine: I was just coming over here to apologize for my behavior! Id really like it if we could be friends.
Joey: Oh yeah! For every dollar Shutter Speed makes, one penny of it goes right in Joey's pocket.
Monica: Yeah, I couldn't be mad at him for too long.
Monica: Okay, look, I-I have enough stuff for one more sandwich, I mean I was going to eat it myself, but (motions that he can have it.)
Monica: (on phone) Hi, umm I know this is last minute, but weve decided to throw an impromptu baby shower for Rachel today.
RACHEL: Yeah, I love that story. Um, I got a question for you guys. Why do people keep is saying that is good to see me up and about?
ROSS: No, sorry I don't. Tell me why would anyone pay someone to scar their body for life? What if it doesn't come out right Phoebe? Then it's like, I don't know, havin' a bad hair cut all the time. Why's everyone staring at me?
Phoebe: So what do you guys want for an engagement present?
Chandler: All right look, if you absolutely have to tell her, at least wait until the timings right. And thats what deathbeds are for.
Monica: (comes up and starts looking through Rosss cookie supply) Ross, but me down for another box of the mint treasures, okay. Where, where are the mint treasures?
Phoebe: (checking for herself) (To Monica) Mazel tov.
Chandler: (entering) You can call off the roommate search! (To the potential roommate) Hi! Ill be living here. (Heads for the bathroom.)
Doug: Say uh, Bing, did you hear about the new law firm we got working for us?
Ross: No, hey, I get that, okay, I get that big time. And Im happy for ya, but Im tired of having a relationship with your answering machine! Okay, I dont know what to do anymore.
ROSS: No no, no no, it's not flashy, not for a Goodfella.
Joey: Absolutely! Halloween is the worst. Except for Christmas and their birthdays. Kinda get a little crazy during the summer too. And anytime theyre hungry or sleepy. Yknow, kids are tough. Good luck with that. (Walks away.)
David: Where the story was that I was anticipating that I would be around to hear my sons first words spoken. But the scene was about that he wasnt supposed to be able to speak and, uh for some reason when we started doing the show
Joey: Well, its not a part, no. Im teaching acting for soap operas down at the Learning Extension.
Monica: Live together? There have been no signs for that.
Phoebe: (running out) Wait! Wait! Hi! Listen, Ross can I just talk to you for just a second?
Rachel: Oh but Phoebe, were gonna be late for the movie.
Chandler: Yeah, just leave me alone for a while. (He goes into his apartment.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, All are there except for Chandler.]
Joey: Really? You'd-you'd do that for me?!
(They go around the last row of bookshelves and find a couple doing what college coeds do in secluded corners of university libraries. For those of you who dont know what Im talking about, lets just say that clothing is undone. Ross gasps and the couple gets up and runs away.)
Rachel: Oh my God! Thats so great! Im so happy for you guys!
Monica: (singing) Well be waiting for you
Janice: Hi! Hi sweetheart! This is my husband Sid, I dont think youve met him. Ross, Rachel, this is Sid. I nabbed him a year ago at the dermatologists office. Thank God for adult acne huh? (Does the laugh.)
Monica: These arent for you! Are you upset?
Chandler: Really? So, you're gonna stick with this 'it's all for her' thing?
Rachel: So Joey I just hooked Ross and Chandler up with some tuxedos for the wedding, do you need one?
Phoebe: Hang on! Hang on! Hang on! (Answering the phone.) Go!! Whos this? (Listens) Oh okay, youre gonna like working for me. Whats your name? (Listens) What kind of name is Brendy? I Whatever Stop talking! All right, from now on your name is Joan. You can pick your own last name.
Chandler: Well, we are fond of the silliness, but we also have a soft spot for the love.
Ross: I think just the annulment for today.
Joey: (stopping him) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa-whoa! We could have our own show! Y'know we could clap our hands together people will love it! Huh? And-and-and I wrote a song for us! (Singing, to the tune of This Land is Your Land) This hand is your hand! This hand is my hand! Oh wait, that's your hand! No wait, it's my hand!
Ross: She wants me to take responsibility for everything that went wrong in our relationship. I mean she goes on for five pages about, about how I was unfaithful to her! (Both Joey and Chandler shrug their shoulders as to say Well...) (yelling) WE WERE ON A BREAK!!!!!
Ross: Oh, but I've got tickets to the Van Gogh exhibit! I've been waiting like a year for this.
Phoebe: Hmm, okay, total abandonment. Okay, reasons for abandonment, A. Top secret government work, B. Amnesia, or C. Or you're just a selfish, irresponsible bad, bad man?
Joey: Wow! (Tearing up) Well, uh Hey! Im really happy for you guys! Congratulations! (Kisses Monica on the cheek) See you later. (Starts for the door on the verge of tears as Monica stops him.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler are getting ready for the flight to London and Monica comes running in.]
Joey: Hey! (To Chandler) Dude, some guy just called for you.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is sitting at the counter waiting for Gunther, yep Gunthers back, to refill her coffee.]
Gunther: So I understand youre looking for a place.
Phoebe: That's easy for you to say, I don't see three kids coming out your vagina!
Ross: Youre never gonna believe it uh, Monica and Chandler are moving in again. Thats great news rightI mean for them. Right?
Monica: No-no, I-I just, I liked them so much that I went out and bought some for myself.
Phoebe: But, can't you leave the dollar? This money is for the poor.
Phoebe: I was preparing you for mydidnt you think I was dead? Did that not come off?
Rachel: Well, were a little early, the lecture doesnt end for 15 minutes.
[Scene: Ross and Emilys room, Chandler and Monica are still looking for a place to do the deed.]
Earl: Its just that I uh, have been working for ten years now at this meaningless, dead-end job and nobody here even knows I exist!
Chandler: Oh, I just went for a walk, around the living room. Whatever
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is pacing anxiously waiting for Rachel.]
Joanna: Rachel, could you come in here for a moment, please?
Joey: Hi. Im Joey Tribbiani; Im here to audition for (Groans) man.
Joey: Yeah! And hey, thanks for coming with me. And thanks again for helping me take a shower.
Rachel: No-n-n-n-no! I am finally thinking clearly. My lucky dress wasnt working out to well for me, but for four years, this baby never missed.
Joey: What? Are you referring to my man's bag? At first, I thought it just looked good, but it's practical too. Check it out! It's got compartments for all your stuff! Your wallet! Your keys! Your address book!
Ross: Yay! (To Carol) Seriously, our sex life I was thinking, maybe I dont know, we could try some-some new things. Yknow? For fun?
Tag: Yeah, so, please don't fire me for doing this. (He kisses her)
Ross: My nana used to do it. That's how she paid for all my dancekarate lessons.
Gunther: Yeah, thats what I drive. I make four bucks an hour, I saved up for 350 years!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is being yelled at by her dad over the phone, and hes been going on for so long Rachel is holding the phone away from her ear and reading a book.]
Phoebe: Hey! Check it out! This is unbelievable! Joey has been holding his breath for almost four minutes!
Chandler: (to Kim and Nancy) Oh, hi! Excuse me, is uh Rachel Green here? I was supposed to meet her for lunch.
Phoebe: Na-uh, no, we are all responsible for our own babies.
Chandler: See thats where I think that youre wrong. Weve been playing these babies man for man; we should really be playing a zone defense.
Rachel: That would be great! Wait, how long is Denise gone for?
Joshua: Thanks. (He starts to leave) Maybe Ill see in the spring, with the uh, yknow, for the uh, bathing suits.
Chandler: Ross, just for my own piece of mind, youre not married to anymore of us are ya?
Judge: Okay you two are asking the court for an annulment?
Monica: The babies are asleep, Im sure youll be okay on your own for a while!
(Bobby waves and then bursts into tears. Midnight comes and everyone at the party except for the gang cheers and kisses)
Dr. Green: Excuse me for a moment, will you please, I want to say good night to the Levines, before we go.
Mr. Tribbiani: Just for a coupla days. I got a job midtown. I figure I'm better off staying with the kid than hauling my ass back and forth on the ferry. (Sees Roger) I don't know this one.
Chandler: All right fine, don't do anything, just sit here and talk to us, meanwhile she is talking to him about you. And he's being Mr. Joe Sensitive, and she starts thinking 'Maybe this is the guy for me, because he understands me.'
Monica: Oh God! Hes gonna come by and borrow some candles for his big date!
Rachel: Oh, little Xs! Great! That makes up for everything!
RACH: Oh yeah, c'mon, I'm movin' on. He can press her up against that window as much as he wants. For all I care, he can throw her through the damn thing.
Phoebe: What about me? I just found out that Denise is leaving town for a while, I dont have a roommate.
Joey: Ooh, its probably a residual check, hey can you open it for me, Im kinda .
Joey: Then youre not invited. (Starts for the door again.)
Rachel: Hey, thanks Ross, for taking care of all of this.
Joey: This is how much we pay for electric?!!!
Chandler: I figure that $1,500 would cover him for a few months, yknow? But I have to trick him into taking it so I wont hurt his pride.
Phoebe: Hey! So you guys have anything planned for the big last night?
Joey: Thursdays clearly not good for ya, pick a day!
Phoebe: Well, what youre wearing is fine for that.
Chandler: Yes, but for the last time.
Phoebe: I think it's just y'know that I haven't been with a guy in so long and how sometimes you're looking for something and you just dont even see that it's right there in front of you sipping coffeeOh no, have I said to much? Well it's just something to think about. I know I will.
Chandler: Well, I think, I think, Ross already has one. Now, this ones free, right? Because you paid for the first two, so the third ones free.
Chandler: Say, Joe, I had a strange idea of what we could do for our last night. What do you say we play a little uh, foosball for money?
Phoebe: Oh yeah, Ive done it for years. I actually stopped because I was so accurate. Yknow, and-and yknow, one of the great joys of life is its-its wondrous unpredictability. Yknow? And also tea tends to give me the trots.
Ross: Hey Joe, while youre over there how about another beer for the Ross-A-Tron?
Monica: Yknow what? Youre right, Im sorry. Actually you were a big help tonight. Yeah, and thanks for putting my grandmother in the cab and making sure she got to the hotel safely.
Chandler: Okay! (They kiss) So, what do you girls have planned for tonight?