words in movies
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are showing everyone the van they bought for the catering business. Its an old Dodge van, that has a cartoon woman riding on a dragon painted on the side of it.]
Phoebe: Yeah, its for our catering business!
Monica: Well, Im gonna fill in for him as food critic for the Chelsea Reporter.
Monica: Oh no-no-no, its only one night a week, and plus I get to take all of you out for a lot of free dinners.
Chandler: (entering) Hey, you guys! Hey, Ross, quick question for ya. Are you ready to party?
Ross: I dont know, I could maybe go out for a couple of beers, but theres this thing about bumblebees on The Discovery Channel that I was planning to watch.
Rachel: Oh, uh, Joanna I was wondering if I could ask you something. Theres an opening for an assistant buyer in Junior Miss
Joanna: (interrupting) Okay, but that would actually be a big step down for me.
Rachel: Well, actually, I meant for me. The hiring committee is meeting people all day and
Joanna: Oh. Well, I wish I could say no, but you cant stay my assistant forever. Neither can you Sophie, but for different reasons.
Chandler: Look you dont understand, Gandolf is amazing. Yknow youre never know whats gonna end up happening, you go out for a couple of beers and end up on a fishing boat to Nova Scotia!
Joanna: Oh. And Rachel has been really incredible in getting my morning bagel for me. Its amazing how she gets it right almost every time!
Phoebe: Oh, okay! (reading) "Would I go back to Allesandros? Sure, but Id have to order two meals, one for me and one for the guy pointing the gun to my head." (to Monica) Wow! You really laid into this place.
Phoebe: Ooh, I gotta go. I found a guy that who could fix up the van for catering.
Joanna: Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait!! If youre gonna get all sensitive about it! I dont want to lose you. What if I, create a position for you? Ill make you an assistant buyer in this department.
Rachel: Hey Mon, little question for ya! How do you think this suit will look on an assistant buyer?
Rachel: Hey, Pheebs, quick question for ya.
Monica: Ohh! Umm, Phoebe, I kinda need to talk to you about that. (Rachel excuses herself) Umm, well I-I-I think it might be time for me to take a step back from catering.
Monica: Its okay, cause y'know what? You dont really need me for the business.
Phoebe: Youre the cook! With out you its just me driving up to peoples houses with empty trays and asking for money!
Phoebe: For what? I cant believe this! I gotta get out of here. (leaves)
Phoebe: Oh! It will be fun! Ohh! Yay! Oh! Okay, ooh, lets plan the wedding reception. (She grabs the notebook which Monica used for her ideas and starts flipping page after page after page after page after page to find a blank one.) Wow! You really wanted me to do something with this van. (pause) Yknow what, I want you to take the chef job.
[Scene: Rachels office, she is coming in for the day carrying a picture for her new office. Mrs. Lynch is coming out of Joannas office, carrying a box.]
Rachel: Yes, so close. Mrs. Lynch, I know that this is an emotional and difficult time, for all of us. But by any chance did Joanna send any paperwork your way before it happened.
Allesandro: Im so excited about having Monica come on board with us. Although I do feel bad about having fired chef Emillio, its like losing a member of the family. Of course, that literally is the case for several of you. Tony, Carlos, Marie, please, tell your father how much were gonna miss him. Now, I know that Monica has a lot of great ideas for this place, well, you all read the review. So without much further ado, I present to you our new head chef.
Steve: Well, the guy's worked here for 25 years.
Ross: Yes, but I've lived here for 25 minutes.
Monica: Huh. So you're saying like umm, if there was an award for the best bad massage, well who would get that?
[The video is a very dramatic episode with an obviously dubbed voice for Phoebe. Everyone watches in disbeliefe]
Chandler: Yeah, for about 30 minutes.
Monica: Y'know what? Y'know when I said that I want you to deal with this relationship stuff all on your own? Well, you're not ready for that.
Ross: Phoebe! I can't believe you gave them money! I thought you agreed it was totally unreasonable that they asked me for that money!
Ross: No! No! No! The "Come here to me" is y'know for the ladies.
Chandler: We cant do that thats insane. I mean A he could wake up and B yknow, lets go for it.
Rachel: He plays for the Yankees. Seriously, ESPN! Just once and a while, have it on in the background. (Chandler nods and Rachel grabs another tux) Ooh, this one was Pierce Brosnan!
Monica: Hey Joey, sweetie, taste this. (Holds out a spoon for him.)
Joey: Not a problem. And listen, hey! Since you're gonna be here for a while, why don'tI was thinking we uh, put your name on the answering machine.
Chandler: Oh! Good for you Pheebs, way to go! (Breathes a sigh of relief)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, the whole gang is there, except for Ross and Rachel. Joey is trying to eat Chinese with chopsticks and fails miserably. Theres a knock on the door, and Chandler answers it to reveal Rachel]
Joey: I'll treat you real nice. (Pulls out a chair for her.)
Rachel: Gone! I mean its amazing Pheebs. I feel so free and so graceful. (Turns and bumps into a mounted policeman and falls) Hey! Look out for the horse! Sorry! (Runs off.)
Cop: Wow umm, tell Sipowicz I'm real sorry for his loss.
Joey: Yeah, yeah, I met this woman. (Starts for his room.)
Guest #1: See ya Phoebe! Oh and hey, thanks for chipping in!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is greeting her Father for their brunch.]
Monica: Wow! For just a week you guys are really close, huh?
[Scene: Rachel's bedroom, Rachel, entering selfish mode, is thanking Ross for wrongly taking the entire blame of the breakup; as if she had absolutely nothing to do with it.]
Ross: Yes. I lived with you guys for a while and then I found this place. (Joey just stares at him) I'm Ross.
Monica: Phoebe knows and she's just trying to freak us out! That's the only explanation for it!
Cop: I'm looking for Phoebe Buffay!
Phoebe: No, I'm just gonna help him, you know, get 'de-Ursula-ized', like you know, like I did for Joey after he went out with her.
Monica: Okay. (She gets up and walks over to Chandler.) Chandler? Can I see you for a second?
Monica: Oh umm, that's because I just wanted to y'know walk in on me and Chandler while we were, y'know, doing it all night. Will you excuse me for just a second?
(For the first time we see that the woman Ross is talking too is in fact the hot girl that Joey is looking for. She just kinda stares at him.)
The Hot Girl: I know. You're the guy who wouldn't chip in for the handyman.
(They move closer to together and Phoebe hesitantly puts her hand on Chandler's hip. He puts his hand on her left hip but then decides to put his hand on her left hip. Phoebe then grabs his butt. Chandler goes for her breast, but stops and puts his hand on her shoulder.)
Monica: Yeah, good for you. Y'know you're tough, you lived on the streets.
[Scene: The Geller household, Mr. and Mrs. Geller are getting ready for Thanksgiving dinner. The doorbell rings.]
Monica: I mean this has been like my dream since I got my first Easy Bake Oven and opened Easy Monicas Bakery. I mean I would kill for this job. I mean I can totally do this job, and God knows I paid my dues. (She removes her fake breasts) But Petes just doing this because he has a crush on me.
Monica: (to the restuarant customers) Excuse me, excuse me, hi, I'm Monica Geller..I'm the head chef here.. (pauses as if waiting for something).. Ok, I was actually expecting a little applause there, but whatever! Ok, quick question: by a show of hands, how many of you were bothered by this woman's singing outside? (a few people raise their hands)
Joey: Ross!! We're having a surprise party for Rachel!!
Chandler: Yeah, I know, I-I wish I had too, but yknow I-I think this is a good thing. Y'know? Cause weve had our first fight, and now we can move on. Yknow, I know for me(Notices a pair of mens pants on the chair.) Nicks pants?
Rachel: Well, I was kinda supposed to be headed for Aruba on my honeymoon, so nothing!
Carol: Y'know, I don't really know you well enough for you to do that.
Chandler: Well, I guess there's nothing left for us to do but-but kiss.
Joey: You guys got anything to eat? I just went down to Johnos for some chicken and it was closed!
Ross: I wanna go talk to Rachel for a minute, are you gonna be okay alone for a bit?
Monica: He probably wants you back because you're right for the job.
Ross: Rach, uh, you still looking for a place?
Ross: This is not good for my rage. (Takes another pill.)
Monica: Yeah! And if, and if we have a baby one-day, and the doctor hands it to you in the delivery room and you dont cry, so what! And-and-and, and if we take him to college and come home and see his empty room for the first time, and you got nothing, it wont matter to me.
Joey: Yeah right! (Gets up for a refill to his snow cone.)
Joey: Well, may I ask for one example?
Rachel: What?! What?! My birthday's not for another month!
Chandler: That's why for an entire year people called me Sir Limps-A-Lot?!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is getting ready for a date with Monica as Ross enters.]
[They both get up and head for the door. Clunkers whines a little]
Ross: Okay, how about, for a guy, Thatcher?
Monica: That's a great idea! I was saving them for something special.
Chandler: Thank you for that! (To Monica) I was not flirting.
Ross: And thank you, for that.
Chandler: Are there no conscious men in the city for you two?
Joanna: Rachel, I need the Versachi invoice. (to Chandler) Hello! You dont work for me.
Joey: (angrily entering, to Chandler) Can I talk to you for a second?!
(Rachel heads for Joey and Chandler's and Phoebe heads for the kitchen to find Ross.)
Ross: Maybe I should get another pair! Ooh, y'know, they-they had some with fringe all down the sides. (Chandler starts rubbing his temple again.) I'm gonna go kiss Ben goodnight. (He starts to head for Monica's bedroom.) I can't believe he thinks I'm a cowboy. (Pause.) I would make a good cowboy. (He struts into Monica's room.)
Monica: And this goes for all guys?
Joey: How come you have two? Chandler: Well this one's for you. Joey: Get out. Chandler: No, I can't. No-no, listen, I, I know how much this means to you and I also know that this is about more than just jewelry, (Puts bracelet on Joey) it's about you and me and the fact that we're (Reading bracelet) best buds. Joey: Wow, is this friendship? I think so. Check it out, we're bracelet buddies. Chandler: That's what they'll call us. [The next one is from Episode 618: The One Where Ross Dates A Student.]
Caitlin: Y'know what? That's okay, you guys have ordered so many that this one is on me! (Runs for her life.)
Ross: Uh, well, don't worry, I'll use the gentle cycle. Ok, um, basically you wanna use one machine for all your whites, a whole nother machine for colors, and a third for your uh, your uh, delicates, and that would be your bras and your under-panty things.
Ross: Oh. (Reaches into his pocket for some money as Rachel enters the living room and watches holding two stuffed dinosaurs.)
Monica: (crying) I'd do anything for you. (They hug again.)
Monica: Wow! Play that message for Emily and this whole problem goes away!
Rachel: And uh, yeah, I didnt really, I didnt want to say anything, but it kinda it just, it kinda kept coming back to me, and umm, remember we were in the casino and for some reason thought it would be funny to eat a lot of grapes. And uh, and I thought it would be funnier if we got married. So as a, as a compromise we decided first to get married, and then (Ross joins in) to eat a lot of grapes. So umm, sorry I got us into this mess.
Joey: Oh! Yeah, look there's this play all right? And I'm up for the part of this real cool like suave international guy. A real clothes horse. So I figure that everyone at the audition is gonna be wearing this kinda y'know, ultra-hip, high fashion stuff.
Phoebe: Wow! Im-Im so happy for you guys. (To Ross) This is so-so, not stupid.
Chandler: Fine. We're just sitting here. Alone. Doing nothing. It's our rehearsal for tomorrow.
Ross: Hey Pheebs, has Gary ever been shot at for real?
Monica: So it looks like it's going really well for you two, huh?
Joey: Wow! You realize that we've been throwing this ball, without dropping it, for like an hour?
Ross: How much did you pay for that?
Carol: Joey, Ross is gonna be here any second, would you mind watching Ben for me while I use the ladies' room?
Gary: No, it's too soon for you guys.
Monica: (To Rachel) What?! You paid a thousand dollars for a cat when you owe me 300!!
Phoebe: Ohh!! God! (Gary enters and she sees him) Ooh! (To Chandler) Get out of here, good for nothing.
Phoebe: I justI don't want us to jump into something we're not ready for.
Chandler: Four hours? You guys have been doing this for four hours?
Phoebe: Well, I've been reading up and for your information, minks are not very nice. Okay, I admit it! I love this coat! Okay, Iit's the best thing I've ever had wrapped around me, including Phil Huntley! (She starts to leave but stops and says to Monica.) Remember Phil Huntley? He was fine!
[Scene: Joeys in the front entrance watching for Rachel. The bridesmaid he met at the rehearsal dinner come in.)
Rachel: Phoebe, Im going to Rosss wedding because he is my ex-boyfriend and that would be really uncomfortable. Not because, Im still in love with him! I mean, hey, yknow, I like Ross as much as the next guy, yknow? Clearly I have feelings for him, but feelings dont mean love! I mean, I still have loving feelings for Ross. Yeah! But, I have, I have continuing feelings of love, but that doesnt mean that-that Im still in love with him. Yknow? I-I have sexual feelings for him, but I do love himOhh! Oh my God! Oh mywhy didnt you tell me?!!
[Sequence 1: Monica throws the ball over Chandlers head to Joey who catches it for a touchdown, and starts to dance in celebration. Chandler then tackles him, and he starts to dance in celebration.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Monica is cooking and Rachel is getting ready for a date with Joshua.]
RTST: No, ma'am. Well, anyhoo, we should be getting our F.D.A. approval any day now, hopefully, in time for Thanksgiving. See, the way we look at it, chocolate already dominates most of your major food-preparation holidays: Easter, Christmas, what have you.
Joshua: Kidding! (Rachel is relived) Im gonna get there early, but Im going to put you on the V.I.P list, okay? Look for me.
Gary: (To Phoebe) Hi sweetie. (Kisses her.) Hi, can I talk to you for a second?
Joey: There you go! That's the spirit I'm looking for! What can we do? Huh? All right who's first? Huh? Ross?
Phoebe: Ohh, give him a kiss for me!
Chandler: Thats a great idea! We can easily think of a way for us both to enjoy the room.
Elizabeth: Ross, umm, you've been in there for a long time. I'm starting to get kinda freaked out.
(Ross pauses and looks at him, Joey motions for him to hurry up.)
Gary: So you uh, you checked the paper for listings in Brooklyn Heights, right? You-you checked the Post?
Ross: Well, with everything thats been going on lately, I havent exactly been the perfect boyfriend. You know, I, uh, I didnt tell her I got Rachel pregnant. I gave her a key to my apartment, and then had the locks changed! And then I lied to her about Rachel moving in with me. In a way, I actually judge her for not breaking up with me sooner, you know?
Dr. Miller: And I'll fit you for a glass eye.
(She hangs up the phone and starts to head back to the kitchen and notices some money lying out, stops, reaches down to pick it up, the phone rings causing her to drop it, she quickly puts it back, and heads for the kitchen.)
Chandler: I wish I had smoked for my career