words in movies
[The camera cuts to show the couch, which has been cut in half.]
Joey: Yeah! Well, now that you brought it up, our fridge is broken. We have to get a new one. Now, I checked around and your half is $400. Thanks a lot.
Rachel: Oh yknow what? Yknow what? Now that you know what you want you should go to Kleinmans and get it half off. This place is so overpriced.
Chandler: Fine! (goes into his room and slams the door, then he slams the bottom half of the door.)
(Ross proceeds to apply copious amounts of the lotion on his legs. He literally starts spraying the back of his legs with the lotion, and as he applies some to his butt he makes a happy face like he enjoyed that sensation. After using about half the bottle he again tries to pull up his pants, but at the first sign of resistance, his hand slips off of the pants and hits him in the forehead.)
Chandler: Well, aren't we Mr. "The glass is half empty."
Joey: The bigger half.
Ross: (half amused) Wait, wait, (looks around a little) You're mad at me about last night? I was just trying to do the right thing.
Ross: Oh My God, she-she made half a English Trifle, and half a...Sheperds Pie!
Phoebe: Come on, you know, Thanksgiving. Ooh, you got the bigger half. What'd you wish for?
Donny: Uh, Gene, you're gonna have a chance to go to the winner circle in the second half. But right now Henrietta you are going to the winner circle to try your luck for ten thousand dollars, right after this, don't go away.
Monica: Im fine. (She goes into one of those half sneezing, half-coughing fits that you get with a bad cold or flu.)
JULIE: Yeah, we figure it'll live with Ross half the time, and with me half the time.
Monica: All right, we still have a minute and a half to go, and were down by two points. Two points.... (she gets interrupted by the guys, who are doing a slow-motion high five.) Phoebe you do a button-hook again. Rachel, you go long.
Monica: You know, if you just wait another... six and a half minutes...
Michelle: Actually about an hour and a half.
Chandler: Alright, alright, alright. It's been fourteen and a half minutes and you still have not said one word. Oh God, do something. Just make contact, smile!
JOEY: Yeah. And uh, I paid for the other half.
CHAN: One. . . two. . . two and a half. OK, just show me one of them.
Chandler: Why not? We could give each of them half a medallion, and then years later, they'll find each other and be reunited. I mean, that's a great day for everybody.
Rachel: What, slept together a year and a half ago? Yeah, I'm all set.
MR. GREENE: ...what the hell does she want with half a boat...
Joey: We have a half hour.
Ross: Filming Rachel is not something I planned. Okay look, heres what happened, and Joey you-you can back me up on this. All right, about-about a month and a half ago I came to you with a problem? Umm, a personal thing.
RACHEL: Only 'cause you took up half the circle.
Janice: Wait! Wait! I wanna see this. After I divorce him, half of that kingdom is gonna be mine.
Mr. Waltham: Terribly nice of you to offer to pay for half the wedding. (He hand a multipage bill to Jack.)
[Scene: The park, the gang is returning to play the second half of the game.]
PHOE: Half full of looooovvvvve.
Mischa: (to Monica) And the vet said it was time. And so from half a world away, while my Mother held the phone to his ear, I said good bye to my dog,. In seven languages.
Rachel: Thats also the smaller piece. (Puts the piece onto a plate.) Okay, there you go. Enjoy your half my friend, but that is it. No sharing. No switching, and dont come crying to me if you eat your piece to fast. (As shes saying that she is backing out the door, when she finishes she turns around to return to her place, stumbles and drops the cheesecake on the floor.) Oh!!!!
The Salesman: (Interrupting the flashback) Excuse me, Im sorry, you havent said anything for about two and a half minutes, are you at all interested?
Chandler: Oh, I hate that. I once had a thing of half and half, stole my car.
Monica: Oh, well... um, that's all there are of these. But in about eight and a half minutes, we'll be serving some delicious onion tartlets.
CHANDLER: I did pay for half of it.
Joey: Oh yeah, Smokey Joe here got half way to the highway and collapsed.
Joey: Yeah. Sure. (They both half stand up, Joey pulls the neck of his sweater out, and Rachel looks down it to see his T-shirt.)
Ross: Well, I kinda half to. I mean, because the thing is
Rachel: Noooo... the interview! She loved me! She absolutely loved me. We talked for like two and a half hours, we have the same taste in clothes, andoh, I went to camp with her cousin... And, oh, the job is perfect. I can do this. I can do this well!
Joey: Oh yes I do. Otherwise whats next? Today Im just a guy who cant finish a turkey, but tomorrow Im the guy who eats half a Powerbar, wraps up the rest, and puts in the fridge? No! No, I just I justI gotta change my pants. (Gets up and heads for the door.) Jeans have no give. (Exits.)
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Phoebe is walking up and notices a car that is parked half on the curb and right in front of the door, making it difficult for people to enter Central Perk.]
Mr. Geller: This bill for my half of the wedding. its insane.
Rachel: Gunther, Gunther, please, Ive worked here for two and a half years, I know the empty trays go over there. (points to the counter.)
Monica: Okay, I'd like to know how much the room was because I'd like to pay my half.
Monica: That was a half an hour?
Hotel Clerk: (watching the chase) They say he's only got half a tank left.
Eric: Oh, yeah, during the summer, I spend most weekends at my sisters beach house, which you are welcome to use by the way. Although, I should probably tell you, shes a porn star. (Chandler breaks his pencil in half)
Ross: Free cats do that too, y'know. {Which reminds me, if I might get a little political here, support your local animal shelter. Pet shops are not the place to buy dogs and cats from, you get a much better deal from the shelter, plus they probably won't die on you in a week and a half. If you want a leash, go to the pet shop. If you want the dog for that leash, go to the shelter and save it's life. Now back to regularly scheduled programming.}
Carol: Listen, we both know youre gonna do it cause youre not a jerk. Okay? So you can either sulk here for a half hour and then go pick them up, or save us both time and sulk in the car.
The Saleswoman: You wanna return this couch? (Ross nods yes.) It's cut in half!
Mr. Waltham: You spend half your life in the bathroom, why dont you ever go out the bloody window!
MNCA: Oh, isn't he? Oh, you know, I really think this time it may work with him. I mean, he just makes me feel so good and I've been feeling so lousy this last couple of months, no job, no boyfriend. Well, at least my cup is half full.
Phoebe: Oh this, well Im glad you asked. (She opens the case and removes a knife and an soda can.) Now, dont you hate it when you have to cut a tin can with an ordinary steak knife? (She efficiently cuts it in half.) Ahh! Now, I know what youre thinking
(Chandler goes to his bedroom and opens the door. However, only the top half opens, and he trips into his bedroom over the bottom half.)
Phoebe: Fine, all right, mine had a dwarf that got broke in half, but y'know whatever.
Monica: Whew. Although yknow, this is part of a salt and pepper set. I mean I guess yknow it may just count as a half a present. What do you think?
Chandler: Half a tank? We still got a lot of high-speed chasing to do!
Ross: So unbelievable. She was supposed to meet me half an hour ago with Emma. (he tries to take a cookie but Monica slaps his hand)
Hoshi: You are iron. You are steel! Let me ask you something, how come when I call your computer support line, I have to wait an hour and a half?
Monica: Please. Half the guys out there have makeup on.
Monica: All right, half the people. I mean, just try it and see.
Chandler: This coming from the man who couldnt split our 80 dollar phone bill in half.
Joey: I still havent gotten a check for your half yet.
Rachel: Probably just the first half.
The Saleswoman: Did you cut this couch in half?
Joey: Yeah for like a half an hour one night! Chandler, she wants you for the rest of her life! Youre so lucky! Look what I missed out on by not being there! Although you know what? It could never have worked like you guys did, cause you guys are perfect for each other. Yknow, we look at you and-and we see you together and it just it-it fits. Yknow? And you just know its gonna last forever.
Monica: You are so sweet to notice! Yes, I lost three and a half pounds!
Rachel: Well, yknow what? Thanks to you Im half way there! Ugh! Oh! I am so mad! Ross, I dont think I have ever been this angry!
Joey: Six and a half! You knocked that last one out of my hand! Remember?
Joey: And, a brownie! (Hands her a bag with the brownie in it.) Well, half a brownie. Actually, its just bag. Its been a long walk from the flower shop and I was startin to feel faint so
Joey: Half hour. (Rachel turns to look at him and he nods yes.)
Rachel: The logic is, that there are two of us and we are both strong enough to break a chair in half!
Monica: About a half an hour.
Monica: Who? I mean have you seen a car come by here in the last hour and a half? I think we should call Ross, maybe he can get a car and come pick us up.
Rachel: You think I trust you with it?! No! Were gonna split it! You take half and I take half!
MICH: No, no, I am, but only because for the last hour and a half I've been playing the movie Diner in my head.
Joey: Well, I think its ridiculous that you havent had sex in three and a half months.
[Scene: Chandlers bedroom, he is sleeping with Marjorie. All of the sudden, Marjorie starts talking in her sleep, awakening Chandler. After a little bit, she quiets back down, and Chandler tries to get back to sleep. Theres a short pause until she starts screaming, causing Chandler to scream with her. She quickly calms down. This all wakes up Joey, who comes over wearing the mouth guard, opens the top half of Chandlers door, and starts to complain about the noise.]
Rachel: (gasps) Nice! One and a half carat easy.
Joey: Uh, eleven, eleven and a half.
Joey: (running from his bedroom) Oh my God! I overslept! I was supposed to be on the set a half an hour ago! I gotta get out of here!
Chandler: (looking at Joeys feet) Those arent eleven and a half.
Monica: (to the boots) Bye bootsWait! Half off?! (Chandler runs off.)
Rachel: No, so I dont have to get married until Im 33! Thats three years, thats three whole yearsOh, wait a minute though. Ill need a year and a half to plan the wedding, and Id like to know the guy for a year, year and a half before we get engaged Which means I need to meet the guy by the time Im thirty.
Rachel: I dont care how long ago it was! You told people that I was half and half! Yknow what? I just want to point out I never did anything to hurt you in high school.
Phoebe: Oh hey hi, hes doing it. Hes breaking down the door. (The chair breaks in half.) Okay, were in. (She hangs up the phone.)
Phoebe: Okay. (She starts folding the napkins in half.)
Chandler: Eight and a half hours of aptitude tests, intelligence tests, personality tests... and what do I learn? (he taps the results and reads them) "You are ideally suited for a career in data processing for a large multinational corporation."
Mrs. Bing: Oh, please, honey, listen, if I can do it, anybody can. You just start with half a dozen European cities, throw in thirty euphemisms for male genitalia, and bam! You have got yourself a book.
Phoebe: Yeah, I had a date with this guy, and I swear to God, he is her other half.
[Cut to Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Monica is getting Chandler ready for his half of the plan.]
Joey: listen to this... I went out with this girl last night and half way through our date I realized I already slept with her.
Monica: About a week and a half.
(He tries to move in front of the class, only goes out of control and rolls into the hall, catching himself on the doorway with his pointer. He then pulls himself back into the room with the pointer, only he jams one end of it between the door frame and the door and breaks the pointer in half.)
Ross: No, four minutes ago you had a half hour, we have to be out the door at twenty to eight.
Ross: (To the still half asleep Professor) Oh my God! You really want me to be the keynote speaker? Thank you! (hugs him whilst still on his lap)
Monica: Phoebe, we lost half of them.
Phoebe: Wow, a year and a half ago I didnt even know I had a brother, and now I have a sister too. (They all hug, and Frank and Alice start kissing.) Okay. Okay. Stop it, dont. So, I gotta get you a gift now. Is there anything you need?
Rachel: Okay! (Grabs a knife and cuts it in half.) All right, pick a half.
Chandler: So, how would you like to have a baby that's half yours and half his!