words in movies
[Scene: Ross's Building, Joey is trying to find the hot girl's apartment. So he's walking up the hallway counting doors. He comes to what he thinks is the right one and knocks on it. Ross opens the door, it's his apartment.]
Ross: Of course it is. Yeah, come on in. Ooh-ooh, go by the window you can pretend to be surfing. (He pretends he's surfing by the window.)
Monica: No Joey, I think he's just watchin' TV.
Phoebe: Yeah, it's weird. I can't help it though he's so sweet, he's like this little puppy dog, y'know? But like a really tough one that shots bad guys. Ohh, I just love beginning parts of relationships, y'know?! You just like can't keep your hands off each other.
The Man: (To Ross) Excuse me. (He puts up a flyer that has a sketch drawing of Joey and it reads, "Warning! Intruder! If you see this creep - call the cops!") You should check this out, tell the other tenants. Apparently he's running around looking for some kind of a hot girl.
Monica: You better believe he's tired, after the day we had! If you know what I mean. You know what I mean?
[Scene: Looking through Ross's window, he's doing more pantomimes. The first one is he's walking a dog that has stopped, then suddenly tugs him forward.]
Ross: (from his apartment) Man! They cannot get enough! (Makes like he's a robot and waves at the cutouts.)
Joey: Oh yeah, yeah! He's done tons of commercials. I've seen him in like Sugar Smacks, Playstation, and that one for the phone company. In fact he was so good in that one, he actually convinced me to switch phone companies. Chandler was mad .
Joey: All right, I'll give you this, Mr. Peanut is a better dresser. I mean he's got the monocle, he's got the top hat...
Chandler: We're not gonna have this conversation again... Look at this place. Why am I so intimidated by this guy? Pretentious art, this huge macho couch. When we know all he does is sit around all day crying about losing Monica to a real man! (laughs) You don't think he's here, do you? (Joey looks around)
Phoebe: Oh, I thought this was your party and it turns out its a party for Howard. He's just the sweetest little man! (A guest walks up to her.)
Dr. Rhodes: He's good with rear things, bring him in too.
MNCA: Oh no no, this is not for him, this is for me. That way he's still sober but I find his stories about shoelaces much more amusing.
Rachel: Oh, right. Sorry. But Tag's not coming; his girlfriend came into town, so he's spending Thanksgiving with her.
Rachel: (laughs) Okay. All right, I see what he's doing! He's not asking me out, because he wants me to ask him out.
[Scene: Outside Ugly Naked Guy's apartment, Ross is knocks on the door and Ugly Naked Guy answers it. He's ugly. He's naked. And he's holding a huge jumbo soda.]
(They try to stop him, not sure of what he's planning. He ignores them and goes to talk to Ross.)
Chandler: This is about you and Richard. He's clearly not over you. He keeps a tape so he can... look at it whenever he wants.
Monica: No, he's not. And if I can't get pregnant with you, then I don't want to get pregnant by... him or anyone else.
Rachel: Great! Now he's gonna know it was me!
Rachel: Excuse me, can I, can I bum one of those? (He holds up his pack.) Y'know what, actually (She takes the one he's smoking and heads over to where Nancy and Kim are standing and laughing.) Okay, okay, okay, what's so funny over here?
Mindy: Well, ever since we announced the engagement, he's been acting really weird, and then last night, he came home smelling like Chanel.
<Chandler nods and his eyes get big like he's saying 'what the hell'>
Phoebe: Come on, you saw the way he ran out of here! What do you think? He's gonna stick around and talk to the daughter he abandoned!
Ross: Yeah well, he's not gonna get this one. Ben is way cuter than that kid. I mean look at him, look at you, (Starts to whine like a baby and Joey just glares at him.)
(Joey walks in and looks around. He's trying to find a Mike for Phoebe)
Joey: Yeah he's lying. He looked down.
Ross: He's a brilliant diagnostician!
Ross: With the circus? He's behind the elephant.
[Scene: Chandler's hotel room in Tulsa. He's fast asleep when the telephone rings.]
Monica: I can't believe he's that upset about this...
Rachel: So wh..? He's smart, he's qualified. Give me one good reason we shouldn't try him out.
Ross: Oh, come on, Rach, he's a guy!
Rachel: Look, Ross, he's just... Sandy is just sensitive, that's all.
PHOEBE: (imitating Rachel) "Oh, I have to get my number back.� Oh my God.� He's gone."� (smiles) Dead on.
CHANDLER: I know.� You're right.� I want to see you too.� I've just got to figure out a way to tell Joey, you know?� He's really looking forward to this.
Joey: But he's the same.
Rachel: He's not stoned.
Joey: (entering) Ross! Get a shot of this. (He's carrying an issue of the USA Today and hands Ross the camera.) Hey babies! These are the headlines on the day you were born! Okay, now girl baby turn away and boy babies (Throws the paper away to reveal a copy of Playpen, which is the TV version of Playboy Magazine.) Check it out, huh?! This is what naked women looked like the month you were born. All right, now let's dive right into the good stuff. (Joey opens the magazine and Ross sticks the camera in it.)
Phoebe: On how far along he's in the sex change process!
(He points at Steve who's sitting at another table. He's staring at his hands.)
Joey: Why wouldn't she? He's a wonderful person!
Joey: But he's the same.
Joey: He's the same!
Joey/Drake: Tell me to stop, just...tell me to stop. (he's about to kiss her)
Joey: Alright!! Fine! It's original Hugsy! No, now I know that Emma wants him but he's mine and I need him..
CHANDLER: I don't, I hate Joseph, ok. I think he's a brown-nosing suck up.
Phoebe: Oh, right, so he gets a little crazy when he's stoned.
(Ross enters and he's really angry. He goes towards Chandler who's sitting at the counter)
RACHEL: Oh God, Ross.� Ross is going to pick up the phone.� Oh, I have to get my number back.� (She turns to find Bill, but they have gone.)� Oh my God.� He's gone.
Ross: You know what, he's a big boy, I'm sure he'll find us, ok?
Charlie: He is very sweet. Plus he's hot!
Rachel: Oh, please!Honey, just the fact that you want me here to support you, I'm...OH MY GOD!Is that Christian Sanders?He's so gorgeous!
Charlie: Well... I'm just thinking that maybe he's not the right guy to be with right now, maybe I should be with someone... I have more in common with. You know what I mean?
Charlie: He's a pretty tough guy to impress.
Phoebe: That's the door. He's gone...
Chandler: I'm telling you, he's great! I mean, even if my sperm worked fine, I'd think he'd be the way to go!
Monica: Please, don't listen to Joey, okay. Would you look at him? He-hes obviously depressed. He's away from his family; he's spending Thanksgiving with strangers. What he needs right now is for you to be his friend.
Chandler: I need you to come to this bachelor party for my weird cousin Albert, y'know he's the botanist.
Phoebe: Sounds like he's with someone.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, he's having his party, only he's the only guest. He gets up and puts on a nametag that says Ross, but doesn't quite like it. So he takes it off and puts on one that says Dr. Geller and he puts the Ross one underneath the Dr. Geller one. Then as he turns off the music, we hear the party for Howard raging in the apartment across the hall.]
Chandler: Yeah, he's better!
Chandler: Don't listen to him, he's in a really bad mood! (lets her in)
Ross: Oh, right, because he's a scientist!
Phoebe: No, no, because, you know, he's been in Minsk for 8 years and if he gets too much direct sunlight, he'll die.
Mike: (sounds shocked and sits down) He... he's gonna propose?
[Scene: Ross's apartment, he's unpacking after moving in. There's a knock on the door and he answers it.]
Ross: You know, I gotta go find him. He's gotta be here someplace.
Joey: Absolutely! He's not thinking about you.
Joey: Well, he's with Charlie now.
[Scene: Chandler's office. He's on the phone, agitated.]
Colleen: You told him he's adopted?
Joey: You know what? I think I'm gonna stay here and make sure he's okay.
[Scene: Ross's apartment. Ross is totally wasted, but he's still drinking all the margaritas.]
Phoebe: Ooh! No, no, no, no, he's not like a kook, no. He's just like this, this very passionate, incredibly romantic guy, that got like a tinsy bit carried away, you know. And we just get along really well, and he's so cute.
Ross: Guess who's a finalist for a huge research grant! I'll give you a hint, he's looking right at you.
Rachel: Huh... wow, so he's gotta be...
Amy: Oh! He's ok. Do you remember my old boyfriend Mark?
Rachel: That's right! 'Cause that would give him the control! So now he's all ooh, coming up with this whole I've got a party thing y'know, trying to get me to hint around for an invitation. Blew up in his face, didn't it?
Frank Jr.: Oh, you'd be getting a really good one. I mean, you know, he's really funny. Like, the other day he made up this joke.
Joey: Oh! Maybe they'll name yours after you! Y'know, they'll call it, The Ross. And then people would be like, "Awww, he's got a Ross."
RACHEL: What, so you go over there, you tell him you think he's cute, what's the worst that could happen?
Joey: (panicking) Dude! He's right there!
Rachel: Oh my God, Oh my God, here comes Ross. He's gonna flip out.
Rachel: That's because he's on your neck.
Phoebe: Well, he wants to do some ecclectic, so he's looking for someone who can, you know, create the entire menu.
Rachel: He's not having an affair!
Phoebe: Well, I'm sorry but it's hard to believe that anyone would tell a story that dull just to tell it! (looking outside) See, there's something going on with them. Look, he's getting into the car with her!
MONICA: Your boyfriend has been in there for over an hour. I can't believe it, it's like I'm living with him again. He's here when I go to sleep, he's here when I wake up, he's here when I want to use the shower, ughh. It's like I'm sixteen all over again .
Ross: He's right, man.
Phoebe: Oh, thank God, 'cause that thing's really creepy! (looking outside the window) Look, there's Chandler. (he's on the street, talking to a woman)
[Scene: Chandler is packing the broken china in its box. He's taping up the top of box so thoroughly, there isn't an inch of cardboard which isn't covered in tape. He is struggling with the tape dispenser.]
Phoebe: OH! He's having an affair.
Rachel: Okay. Oh, yeah... (whispering to mr Zellner) Oh he's cute!
MONICA: Look honey, I wanted you to hook up with Ross as much as you did. But he's with her now and you're just gonna have to get over it.
Nurse: He's under sedation, so he's pretty much out.
ROSS: Alright, alright, here's the chance. Monica give him cash, Rachel give him your earrings. Something, now, anything. MONICA: No, I will not cave. RACHEL: Yeah, I'm with Mon. ROSS: Alright, alright, you know how you say I never seize the day? Well, alright, even though he's your super, I'm seizing. [approaches Mr. Treeger] Mr. Treeger, here is 50 bucks, merry Christmas. [Gives him the cash.]
Rachel: Oh Ross, come on. He's happily married. His wife just had twins.
Lady: Oh, the woman upstairs is very nice. She and her husband have two kids, he's on Wall Street and she…
Erica: No, he's in prison. (More shocked looks from Monica and Chandler)
Phoebe: Oh, he's at the doctor, he didn't poop the whole time we were there!
Joey: I'm sure he's not more bummed out than I am.
(Erica just looks at him like he's crazy.)
Monica: (To Erica) Oh my God, he's beautiful. Thank you so much.
Doctor: He's just fine.
Ross: No, no. The vet says unless he's in a place where he has regular access to some... monkey lovin,' he's just gonna get vicious. I've just gotta get him into a zoo.
ROSS: Who's Richard Burke? Doc, Doctor Burke? You have a date with Doctor Burke? Why, why, why should that bother me? I, I love that man, he's like a uh, brother to dad.