words in movies
Joey: (hes just picked up their bill) Hey! So, whats with the 20 percent tip? Did I do something wrong?
Gunther: That guy (points) has been waiting for his coffee for ten minutes! Hes complained about you three times! (He hands the coffee cup to Joey, assuming that Joey will deliver it and walks away.)
Ross: Well, of course you can defend yourself from an attack you know is coming, thats not enough. Look, I studying kara-tay for a long time, and theres a concept you should really be familiar with. Its what the Japanese call (he holds two fingers up to his temple, and he does this every time he says this word) unagi.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is desperately trying to make his Valentines Day gift. He takes a paper cup, turns it upside down, sticks two pencils into the top, and hangs a coat hanger from the bottom.]
[Scene: The Hallway between the Apartments, Ross is hiding behind that bump out on Monicas side waiting for Phoebe and Rachel. As they come up the stairs, he jumps out and yells ]
Ross: A lesson in the importance of unagi. (He starts doing the finger thing every time now.)
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is coming in from doing his laundry. He starts folding it as Chandler enters.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers bedroom, hes still trying to figure out what to make Monica.]
Chandler: Okay. Okay. (He goes to the closet, moves the clothes out of the way, and notices an empty hanger. He takes the empty hanger and bends it all out of shape. Then he holds it out as if hes giving it to her.) Yes honey, I made it myself. (He throws it down and goes to her chest, grabs something, goes to the bed table, and takes out a pair of scissors. He turns around and holds the scissors to the crotch of the panties he just removed.) I cant do it. I cant do it. (He throws them both down and continues looking. He opens another closet door and finds a tape.) Oh! Oh! A mixed tape! A mixed tape!! (He runs out into the living room.)
(He opens his present to find Phoebes sock bunny from earlier.)
Joey's Look-A-Like: Hey Mon! Hey Chann! (He goes to the fridge) Just gettin a soda! (Does so.)
Joey: Yeah, hes the reason I didnt get that big Minute Maid commercial a couple of years ago remember? We were supposed to be brothers, but he messed it up.
(Rachel yanks on his legs again and he groans in pain.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is getting ready for Chandlers arrival. He enters and finds the place lit with candles and dinner on the table.]
(He hesitates, then goes over to dance with her.)
Chandler: No! Youre the sweetest! (He tries to kiss her but Monica backs away with a look that could kill on her face.)
(The women all clap and start to leave as Ross comes up to the instructor. Apparently he was hiding in the back.)
Ross: Oh, no! No-no! No, I tired! But I couldnt. Thats why Im here. Maybe we could attack them together? (He glares at him.) That-thats a no.
Ross: Ah-ha, nowhere to run! (He starts to run towards them.)
(Ross appears at the window behind them crouched behind a garbage can and ready to spring his attack on who he thinks are Phoebe and Rachel. The camera cuts to the exterior view and Phoebe and Rachel call the shots from inside.)
Rachel: Oh my God! Why is he jumping on those women!
(Ross starts to scream and run away. He stops in front of the window of Central Perk to check the pursuit and notices Phoebe and Rachel inside looking at him. He mouths, "What?" Then realizes that the women he attacked are closing in so he screams and runs away.)
Chandler: Im totally screwed. Okay, they are gonna be hot and heavy on stage every night, and then theyre gonna go to their cast parties and hes gonna try to undermine me. Y'know itll be like, "So wheres your boyfriend, whats-his-name, Chester?" And shell go, "No-no-no, its Chandler." And hell go, "Whatever. Ha-ha-ha-ha!"
Rachel: Yeah, but that just means that he was falling asleep on top of her instead of me.
Director: Next on the platforms are (He points to the right of Ross and Monica, so they dance over to where hes pointing to. He points away from them) you two! And (He points the other way, and Ross and Monica follow his arm. Again he points away.) You two!
(He turns to get his coat and Monica gives Rachel and Phoebe two thumbs up as Chandler walks over to Ross.)
[Scene: That same plane cabin, Ross is working on a crossword puzzle and Rachel is asleep against his shoulder. She shifts a little bit and Ross suddenly gets an idea. An evil idea when he looks at his pen. Then we have a little time lapse, the plane has landed and everyone is disembarking. The flight attendant is saying bye-bye to everyone.]
Chandler: Double it! (He does.)
Phoebe: Wait, (grabs him) you know what, I got a little story. When I was in Junior High School I went through this period where I thought I was a witch. And there was this guidance counselor who said something to me, that I think will help you a lot. He said okay, 'you're not a witch you're just an average student.' See what I'm saying?
Ross: Yeah, y'know what? I'll take it myself, thank you! (He signs the form and hands it back to the salesman.) All right Rach, let's go! (He picks up one end of the couch.)
Monica: Joey! Hes working! (To Chandler) You would look good in that.
Joey: He can still catch her! Come on, get out of there! (He opens the box) Get out of there!
Joey: This right here is where I keep the pizza. (He points to the chair.) And uh thats where the napkin is. (Points to the floor next to the chair.)
Rachel: Oh-oh-oh, hes a transponcetranspondster!
Ross: This is fun. Hey Rach, remember that whole "We were on a break thing?" Well, I'm sorry, will you marry me? (Laughs--whines as he sees that no one is laughing. They're just staring at him in shock.)
[Cut to Joeys, hes on the phone.]
(Joey, whose new diet is working out great, he looks like he only weighs 375 down from 420 enters from the bedroom.)
Chandler: A hot girls at stake and all of the sudden hes Rain Man.
(Joey nods yes, but suddenly realizes what he did and runs out of the apartment and back to his place.)
Joey: Yeah! Look! (He throws some of his spaghetti on the floor.)
Chandler: I will tell the story! It was going great. I let him win. We were bonding. He even said I could call him dad.
Joey: How's that different? (She looks at him until he gets it.) Oh! Yeah!
Chandler: Well, the heart wants what it wants. Ill see you later. (He runs off and leaves her with the bill, which the waiter promptly delivers.)
Chandler: I think its great that you work here. Youre going to make a lot of money, and heres your first tip: Dont eat yellow snow. (He laughs, then picks up a pen, glares at Ross, and writes in his journal). Ah ha ha, 2:15, coffeehouse.
PHOE: Yeah, so I said, "OK, relax please," y'know, I mean, sex can be just about two people right there in the moment, y'know, it's, if he wants to see me again he can call and if not, that's fine too. So after a looooot of talking. . . I convinced him.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, his doorbell is ringing and hes running to answer it while doing up his pants.]
[Scene: Rosss office, hes opening the door to Elizabeth.]
Ross: Listen, Joey, I know what he did was wrong but dont you think you could at least hear the guy out?
Joey: All right, dont waste it, I mean its still food. (He picks it up and eats it.)
Chandler: (To Monica) Turns out he is kinda funny.
Monica: He just told me at the counter. He made me promise not to tell, but I couldn't hold it in any longer!
Joey: Yeah! Yeah! I mean Im sorry, I wish I can take everybody, but yknow Chandler always supported my career. Hes paid for acting classes and head shots and stuff and well this will be my way of paying you back.
(He starts to get up, but Rachel stops him.)
Monica: Oh God! Hes gonna come by and borrow some candles for his big date!
Chandler: And I just want a million dollars! (He extends his hand hopefully.)
(We hear the guys start to attack him, but the guy manages to calm them down and gets them to agree to what he did. Monica throws up her hands in disgust.)
Mike: (puts on a fake smile) Where else would lame Mr. No Balls hide it? (he takes the ring from the cake, and cleans it with a napkin)
Rachel: It was like months ago. We were walking by this antique store, and I saw this pin in the window, and I told him it was just like one my grandmother had when I was a little girl. Oh! I can't believe he remembered!
Joey: Oh yeah (He mimes sticking his fingers into a jar of peanut butter, scooping some out, and eating it off his fingers.)
CHANDLER: Hey! How come I'm stuck dicing, when he gets to ball the melon.
Chandler: You didnt see how mad he was, yknow?
Chandler: Do you think hell ever forgive me?
Joey: (getting out) Awww, man! He promised he wouldnt take the chairs!!
Chandler: Well uh, Archie needs money to fix his jalopy (Joey laughs), uh but he doesnt want Reggie to just give him the money. So Reggie hires him as his assistas his butler. And then makes him do all these crazy things like bring him milkshakes that cant have lumps in them.
Phoebe: (To Ross) Hes holding us back.
Phoebe: I want to see what he wants first.
The Producer: Im sorry, why dont we do that right now? Hes right here. (Points to a guy.)
Joey: Okay. Sorry about that (Mimics that cheek thing he just did.) Uh, so wheres C.H.E.E.S.E.?
Monica: Yknow, it is so strange seeing Ross here this time of day, cause usually hes got the childrens hospital.
Monica: And hes a great brother!
Paul: Hi! Hi. (Hes looking around.) I think I left my keys here somewhere.
Ross: Joey?! Joey!! (He runs into his bedroom.)
Chandler: I bet he can.
Ross: He is my girlfriends father, okay? Its-its, its weird!
Rachel: Well, yknow he lost his keys so he was looking for them
Ross: I cant believe he didnt come!
Ross: Yknow I remember when uh, when I was in college, we used to (He sees some of his colleagues enter and puts his head on her lap.)
Chandler: (whispering in Joeys ear) The reason he just said.
Rachel: Well its only different if he wants it to be. I mean, Im not gonna ask him for anything.
Chandler: (To Monica) I told you I should not wear this color. (Hes wearing a reddish-orange sweater.)
Ross: Great! Uh, let me take this up for you. (The box hes holding.)
Rachel: Im going to find out if he really thinks supermodels are too skinny. (As she exits, Phoebe enters.) Hey, Pheebs!
Joey: Hey, you wanna do Joey a favor, maybe you go out with Joey. (He turns around to see Chandler glaring at him.)
Ross: Hes taking her purse!
Rachel: Of course he will! But Chandler the most important thing is you forgive yourself!
Ross: No. No-no uh, he just, he just really freaked me out before.
Rachel: Oh my God, look-look hes taking off her clothes!
Joey: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! You just take a big, big swing. Now, dont hold back. (He dons his protective helmet (Why, I have no clue.) and Phoebe picks up a wooden baseball bat and starts to swing as Chandler and Monica enter.)
RACHEL: Look, Chandler, he has moved on, OK, you have to too.
Paul: Ill be right back. (He goes to get the ice.)
Monica: Oh please, he didnt hear it! He didnt hear it!!
Female Clerk: Hes not here right now.
Joey: I-I think everybodys pretending they dont hear you. Anyway, look, I dont know about you and your jackets and your separate tables, but Ross is one of my best friends, and if I save him a seat, Im telling you, he will sit in it! (Ross enters and goes over to the white table) Ross! Ross! Over here, man! I-I saved you seat.
(He now turns to the other side, which also starts spraying his face and front.)
Rachel: It was like months ago. We were walking by this antique store, and I saw this pin in the window, and I told him that it was just like one my grandmother had when I was a little girl. Oh! I can't believe he remembered!
Monica: I know! I know! And he totally freaked out and I cant find him anywhere!
Chandler: Oh, great. We have to watch him do yoga in his underwear, but for this he closes the drapes!
Phoebe: Well, what did he do?
Phoebe: No! No! Its just that he gave me three tickets and there are six of us!
The Dry Cleaner: He went out with my wife!
MONICA: Please, when he left town you stayed in your pajamas for a month and I saw you eat a cheeseburger.
Elizabeth: Okay. I didnt know he was here. (Runs over to Rachel.)
Rachel: Im sure he will forgive you. Look, we have all been there! Yknow, you fight, you make up, its just the way it works.
Rachel: Oh Mon, listen I have to ask! Okay, Joey Tribbiani invited me back to his apartment, now does he do this with a lot of girls?
Phoebe: Do you think thats something that hed be mad at you for?
MONICA: He hates me. My nephew hates me.
Ross: Oh no-no, after you. (She grabs a chair and heads upstairs.) (When shes gone.) Oh my God! (He drops the box and Chandler cant pick it up.)
Monica: I dont know, Ive never had to use the other one. Im just saying yknow, if were having sex, hes not gonna be talking.
Chandler: No, did he hug you?!
Joey: Oh-whoa-wait, Gunther dont-dont forget your shirt. (He gives Gunther his shirt and Gunther leaves.)
Joey: No! He blew us off!
Director: Alright were back! Ten seconds left here we go! Ten! Nine! Eight! Seven! (He continues to count as we hear Joey think)
Ross: (he catches the ball and pauses, staring at Joey in disbelief) Also an island.
Joey: Hey Gunther, dont let that guy in here anymore! He just said Phoebes a porn star!
Phoebe: (looking in the window) Right, oh yeah. Wow, oh, it looks like Ross is breaking up with her. Uff, I hope he lets her down easy. Lets go.
Phoebe: There he is! (Points.)
Phoebe: (To Chandler) Here he is.
JULIE: Um, oh, I don't know. I mean, it's definitely weird not being with Ross, but I guess I'm doing OK. Actually I've got some of his stuff that he, um....
Rachel: See? Now, he could date her.
Rachel: Well, yknow I-I dont know where he is.
Joey: (holds his fist up) WATER BALLOON! (he stuffs the slice in is mouth and gives the foil back to Ross)
Monica: Oh God, maybe he wont see us. Richard!