words in movies
Joey: Yeah, theres this guy from Chicago whos supposed to be the next Martin Scorcese, all right? But then this guys right after him. (Joeys cell phone rings and he answers it.) Hello!
Monica: (catching him) Chandler!
Rachel: Are you makin him a sandwich?
Cassie: (hugs him) Its been so long! Last time I saw you, you were setting up your tent in line to see Return of the Jedi.
Cassie: Ill always remember that summer, because its when I got all of these freckles. (She pulls her blouse open to show him her shoulder and bra strap.)
Ross: (in his head) Shes your cousin. Shes your cousin! If she knew what was going on in your head shed think you were sick! (She grabs some popcorn.) Or would she? Lets back up a second. She was the one who suggested opening a bottle of wine. She was the one who turned down the lights. She was the one that wanted to rent Logans Run, the sexiest movie ever. (She grabs the blanket from behind him and looks at him.) Oh, I know that look. Forget it. I want it. She wants it. Im going in.
Rachel: Now, she thinks that I made out with him and I did it to get her job.
Phoebe: Okay, but you cannot tell him... but look whose back!
Rachel: Ohhh! Well of course I will watch him! We have fun, dont we Ben? (He nods yes.)
Chandler: (interrupting him) All this lying has been hard on us too.
Chandler: Yeah, just some 9-year-old Filipino kids who worked their fingers bloody for 12 cents an hour. (Phoebe stares at him wide-eyed. Chandler sees her reaction.) That didn't happen, I made that up!
Rachel: (hugging him) So did you read your evaluation yet?
Rachel: Okay, you just go on and make your little jokey-jokes, but if you do not know what you are doing out at sea you will die at sea. Am I getting through to you sailor?! (She punctuates each word by slapping him on the forehead.)
Monica: Hes not gonna say anything, because were not gonna tell him.
Monica: Oh, you really want to talk about getting people to like you huh, funny man? (Joey laughs but stops when Chandler turns to glare at him.)
Phoebe: (seeing him) Oh, hello liar.
Phoebe: Well just figure out a way to talk him out of it.
Monica: Betrothed (Corrects him)
Chandler: Phoebe if it helps Alexandra has only been massaging Monica for like three years. (Phoebe rolls her eyes and walks away and Monica glares at him.) If! I said, "If it helps!" (Goes to the bedroom.)
Chandler: Give him money? It was a joke!
Phoebe: Hey! (she sits down next to him)
Chandler: That sounds like my first bike. (They all turn and look at him.) My dad gave me his old one.
Ben: Santa! (Runs to Chandler and hugs him)
Joey: (To a co-worker) Hey, it's not the first time I lost a girl to a cowboy spraying cologne. (A customer walks by.) Bijan for men? (The customer ignores him, and Joey starts to chase him) Bijan for men?!
Ben: (answering him) Eight whole days.
Ross: (does so) Oohh, 23. (Rachel looks at him.) Which is what we play to at this casino! You win 10 dollars! (Holds out a ten.)
Joey: Is to have a long, long talk. Yknow? Get Joey out on the open road and really open him up.
Joey: I didnt tell him. I didnt know if you were telling people. This is back when I thought Kash was still people.
Joey: Hey, yknow you could always visit him.
(The crowd goes wild, and Ross is the only one boo-ing him.)
Rachel: (shakes her head) I guess... Oh, I just had such an idea of what this day would be like, you know? Emma laughing and everybody gathered around her cake singing "Happy Birthday". Then we would all go into... HEY GET OUT OF THE ROAD YOU STUPID STUDENT DRIVER!!! (honks furiously, and Ross looks at her in disbelief and Rachel looks at him.) They have to learn!
Monica: Ohh! Ohhhh! Were you sleeping sweetie? Im sorry. Here. (Hands the mug of milk to him.)
Rachel: What handsome is not your type? Smart? Kind? Good kisser? What those things arent on your list? Ross is a great guy! You would be lucky to be with him!
Chandler: Well, did-did you correct him?
Chandler: Hey! (Grunts as Ben hits him at full speed.)
Monica: No! Really! Any time Ross makes a toast everyone cries, and hugs him, and pats him on the back and they all come up to me and say, "God, your brother." Know what theyll say this year? "God, you"
Monica: Look at this. (Hands him the newspaper.)
Ross: Yes, yes it is. Its uh (Aunt Millie uses this opportunity to grab Ross and kiss him on the lips. After she leaves Ross quickly wipes his mouth with a napkin.) Every time on the lips! Why?! Why on lips?!
Rachel: (entering) Okay, I have to tell you something that I have never admitted during our entire friendship! But, when we were in high school I made out with James Farrell even when I knew that you liked him! Wow, that feels so good to get off my chest! Okay, you go!
(Chandler glares at him. At first Joey doesnt know why, it takes him a little bit to figure it out.)
Chandler: Little?! You freaked out big time! Okay? And I fixed it! We have switched places! I am the relationship and king and you are the crazy, irrational screw up! (Does a dance of joy.) (Monica glares at him.) And now we're back.
Joey: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no... I think it's better if you tell him, you know. It's easier for a woman. That way, you know, if he gets mad, all you have to do is go... I didn't mean it. I'm so so--ooory. (he pushes his breasts together from the side)
[Scene: A locker room, Pete is in a full upper-body cast. Monica enters, sees him, and gasps. Pete tries to turn around, and winces in pain.]
Drunk Man: My god!! You must have been a teenage when you had him. (Monica stares straight forward after the comment. Chandler tries to console her by patting her on the shoulder.)
[Scene: The Reception, Joey is helping Ross walk after Gert got through with him and Mona is looking on concerned.]
Earl: No! Thats just the "Hey Guy" guy. He says that to everybody! Hes the worst! Id like to take him with me!
Phoebe: Why dont you hire him as an actor? You could have him dress up and put on little skits. Whatever you want.
Rachel: (glares at him) Get out, get out of my apartment.
(Phoebe turns and looks at Monica, while Joey frantically motions to Chandler to help him out.)
Monica: Okay. I love you so much. (Kisses him.)
Joey: Yep. (Starts for Monicas room, but Chandler stops him.)
Rachel: No! No-no, I love it. Thank you. (Kisses him.)
JOEY: Aww, Rach, I think you look cute (kisses her on the cheek, then looks at Ross) And you, uh, you, you I could eat with a spoon (goes to kiss him).
Joey: Hey-hey, whos your friend? (Erin turns around to face Joey, startling him) Hey!!
Monica: Oh, Rach! Rach! Umm hey, could you do me a favor and would talk to Chandlers dad and try to keep him away from Chandlers mom?
Rachel: Oh, if I only want two kids, can I keep him for another year?
Monica: What about your breath?! (Breathes on him.)
Rachel: (panics, turns around, picks up the phone, and pretend to talk on it) Hello?! (Listens) Oh, yeah! (To Tag) This is gonna be a while. Excuse me. (Tag leaves and she closes the door behind him, disgustedly.) Yeah!
Rachel: Oh thats right. Youre the talker. (They both reflect on that briefly) Anyway uh, great idea! Umm, I gotta go to the store; I told him that I would buy him some more tissues.
Frank Jr.: What's green and says "hey, I'm a frog"? A talking frog! (Laughs.) Oh, no, you can't have him, he's too funny.
Rachel: Ohh, you can say. Come on, I dont want you to feel like you cant tell me things. (Motions for him to sit down.)
Rachel: Yeah! You know, ever since I had that dream about him, and can't get it out of my head! And what's the big deal, people do it all the time!
Joey: Orrr, you could follow him and see where he goes.
[The next flashback is from The One With Ross's New Girlfriend. Chandler is telling Ross and Joey that Joey's tailor took advantage of him.]
Monica: What about the second minister we meet with? I kinda liked him.
Tom: Okay. Okay. (Exits and Phoebe checks him out.)
Rachel: Okay. Okay. Okay. Uh, what do I, what do I do with him?
Phoebe: Rachel, listenI mean, if you let me have him then I will really owe you one.
(Ben starts to go, but Ross stops him.)
Ross: Okay, Ill see you soon buddy. (He hugs and kisses him.) Be back in an hour.
Monica: Can you blame him?
Joey: (manages to pry off only a small piece) Aw! Look at that, every inch of this stuff is glued down. Itd take forever to pry this up. You should ah, you should just leave it. (starts to walk away, but Monica grabs him)
Cecilia: (running out to Joey) That was so wonderful! (Hugs him) Ohh, I think that youre a better Jessica than I ever was!
Monica: Great! Were hangin in the kitchen! (She drags him into the kitchen and turns his back to the living room) Lets stay in the kitchen!
Ross: I was barefoot. Now tell me, the toilet thing is the only thing you taught him right?
Monica: Hey, have you figured out a way to tell him youre moving out?
Phoebe: Oh thatd be me. Sir. (Hands him the cell phone.) After you.
Ross: No, hey-hey, come on, (He grabs Ben and sits him on his lap) Ben, Santa is not mad at you, okay? Hey, you're-you're his favorite little guy!
Aunt Iris: Well, he may be now, because I think I hit him with my car.
Phoebe: Because youre marrying him!
Joey: Half hour. (Rachel turns to look at him and he nods yes.)
Monica: Phoebe! Come on Im serious! I just got to talk to him about all this.
(Ross glares at him.)
Rachel: Well I was gonna tell him that Im-Im gonna have the baby and he can be as involved as he wants.
Rachel: Yeah but, my assistant Tag does sit-ups in the office during lunch. Ohh! I could just spread him on a cracker.
Phoebe: (seeing him) Okay, nows not the time Joey. All right? You can yell at me tomorrow.
Rachel: I found him! (To Ben) Very funny, come here! (She sits down on the coffee table and Ben walks up.) That is exactly why Ive come here to talk to you okay?
Ross: Yeah. I guess I can cut him some slack.
Rachel: I didnt. I got under him.
Chandler: Y'know, how did I get this reputation as a dropper? Okay? I'm anything but a dropper. (We see various scenes of him dropping a football, a mug of coffee, the phone, an apple, a Frisbee, a record, and the final scene has a ball bouncing off of his chest. I'm not going to describe them, you'll have to see them.)
(They both grab him and stop him.)
Joey: (still looking in date book) Hey! Thats the day after I stop menstruating! (They all look at him.) This isnt mine.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is entering and Mona from the wedding recognizes him.]
(Rachel agrees with him and starts to get out of bed.)
[Mr. Greene opens the door to Chandler and Joeys apartment. Ross sees him and runs to the door forcing him back in then holds onto the door knob.]
(Stryker enters, only its not Joey playing him.)
Phoebe: Oh. (She starts laughing. Then she throws the badge at him and runs away.)
Phoebe: Ah-hah! At least we know its a him.
(Oh, I should point out that the live studio audience at this point goes absolutely wild. And I had absolutely no idea that this Will character was that popular! Maybe they should make him the seventh friend. Which would work out just fine since hes already married to one of them. Will is played by some guy named Brad Pitt, I guess hes some sort of actor.)
(Chandler mimics him.)
Monica: (looking at him) What?!
Ross: Nope. I mean, I know Susan does every year, but I think I wanna take this year to teach him all about Hanukkah.
Phoebe: Bye Chandler! (She walks up to him.) (Quietly.) I miss you already. (She pinches his butt.)
Chandler: Yes, and we'd appreciate it if no one told him yet.
Pete: Oh, believe me, I dont want to get hurt either. Im being smart about this. See these guys? Theyre the best trainers in the world, and Hoshi here used to be a paid assassin. (Hoshi yells at him in Chinese) A house painter! He used to be a house painter.
Joey: Oh yeah, yeah! He's done tons of commercials. I've seen him in like Sugar Smacks, Playstation, and that one for the phone company. In fact he was so good in that one, he actually convinced me to switch phone companies. Chandler was mad .