words in movies
Joey: (nodding knowingly) Now youre thinking you gotta sleep with him.
(Paul reveals his presence by laughing, thus concluding standard sitcom joke 2B. Paul then pulls Ross aside to have a little chat with him and tells the rest of the group that hell just be one second.)
Joey: I know. It was so cool when I was up there before. Me and Jim Belushi would just be crackin up about something Then I get fired off of Days Of Our Lives and he takes me down. Now hes just laughing at me. Look at him, that smug Belushi bastard, Ill
Phoebe: (gasps) Ohh, okay maybe they put your picture back up they can put you next to Matt Lauer. Look at him, smiling at me. (Giggles) Yeah I know; wed be great together!
(The Dry Cleaner stares at him and Joey retreats.)
(Elizabeth leaves and Ross starts to remove his clothing right there in the middle of the living room where someone can see him. Of course, someone almost does, but he hears a door opening and )
Joey: Oh, youre kidding me! All-all right, well make sure you tell him that Joey Tribbiani stopped by to drop off all of these clothes. Okay? Im an actor; Im kinda getting my picture up there on the wall.
Female Clerk: Yknow, there are two people who could put your picture up there. (She makes eyes at him.)
Monica: I know! I know! And he totally freaked out and I cant find him anywhere!
The Dry Cleaner: Thats my wife!!! Get out! (Starts yelling at him in Russian, and Im betting hes not saying pleasant things about him.)
Ross: Elizabeth! (He opens one of the bed stands that he has curled himself up into.) Okay. Okay. (She helps him out.) Im gonna go out this window. (Points to the window next to him.) Ill meet you at the front door. Just tell them youre going home, okay?
(Ross frantically starts to open the window as Paul enters and traps him halfway out the window.)
Ross: All right, fine! Fine! Have me fired! But uh, I want you to know that you and I are not all that different. I mean, I too am a neat guy. (Paul just looks at him.)
Monica: (going over to him) Im so sorry. Please, stop freaking out.
Joey: Who's your friend? He's hot! (Ross laughs and Rachel smacks him with her purse.)
CHANDLER: Oh hey listen, don't be mad at him, it's our fault. I'm sorry we've been hoggin so much of his time.
Jill: Well okay, if it means that much to you, then Ill ask him out.
Rachel: Well, I used to date him, but youre still going out with her!
Joey: Nah, its okay. Right, Gunther? (Winks at him as if theyre in on a secret together.)
Joey: I cant believe Ross went out with Rachels sister! When Chandler made out with my sister I was mad at him for 10 years.
Joey: (on tape) Okay, so say hi to my friend and tell him that you like the hat.
Rachel: Hello! (She makes a face and the kid laughs harder. Finally, his parents drag him off.) Ohh, kids love me.
(She grabs his arm and drags him over to a table where three beautiful women are sitting. Now, Im going to go out on a limb and say that their names are Stephanie, Karin, and Meg. Okay, so I looked at the credits. Of course, only Meg is named later on, so Ill have to guess who is Stephanie and who is Karin. But, well cross that bridge when we come to it.)
(He looks at Rachel and winks, she gives him the thumbs-up sign.)
Ross: Or you can sit with him on the front porch and make sure no one steals the trash cans. He does that every week too.
Jill: You asked him too?!
Jill: You dont want him, but you dont want me to have him?
Monica: Okay, fine I admit it! I feel terrible! Would you please rub this on my chest? (She hands him some of that Vicks Vap-O-Rub to put on.)
Ross: Oh, thank you. (She goes to kiss him, but he holds her coat up between their faces to stop her.) Hey, hey. (opens the door, sees Rachel, and hides Chloe behind the door) Rachel!!!!
Chandler: (pause) Yes. (to Rachel) Okay, theres this one guy, Patrick, I think youre gonna like him, hes really nice, hes funny, hes a swimmer.
Rachel: Well, is Ross home? Maybe Ill just call him to see if hes actually seen her.
Ross: No-no, I got the edge. I know it's not exactly ethical but I sent him a little bribe to
Jill: So? (Kisses him passionately.)
Rachel: Well its only different if he wants it to be. I mean, Im not gonna ask him for anything.
Phoebe: Okay, so what do you think ladies? Who wouldnt be interested? Who wouldnt want to date him?
Chandler: Oh, its not important? Its not important?! If it wasnt for a brides maid youd be marrying him (Points to Joey) not me!
Rachel: Oh, I have to go tell Monica what a wonderful brother she has! (Kisses him on the cheek and exits.)
Ross: No, its okay. Some-some kid asked me to pick it up for him, but I dont
Rachel: But! Dont you have to give him his money back?
Chandler: Was his question whats more boring than him?
Ross: And, and uh, you-you remember my friend Chandler. (Points to him.)
Rachel: (interrupting him and seeing Joey) Oh my God! Joey Tribbiani from Days of Our Lives, just walked in here!
Rachel: No honey, okay, okay, you wanna know why Ross canceled the date? Because I asked him to.
(Nina beams flirtatiously at Chandler, who catches her drift, but for once hes lost for something to say – so she nods her head to tell him that hes thinking correctly...)
Chandler: (approaching) Here you go Joe, heres the freshly squeezed orange juice you asked for. (Hands it to him.)
Joey: (To Rachel) Did I not just tell him?
Rachel: (mouthing it to him) Yes, you did.
[Scene: Ross and Carol's, Ross is trying to talk to Carol about what Phoebe told him.]
Ben: (entering) Dad!! (Runs and hugs him.)
(Ross stands next to him for a second, then goes and watches the movie.)
Ross: Okay. (He leans in to kiss her again, but she leans back preventing him from making contact.) Wow, its-its 5:30 in the morning. (Rachel laughs) So, Id better get cracking on this baby.
Joey: Oh, oh! Any chance any of this happened in a "Galaxy far, far away"? (Ross turns aroud and glares at him. Joey and Rachel decide to leave).
Monica: It was, it was really nice. We started talking and I-I ended up having lunch with him.
Joey: Yeah, theres this guy from Chicago whos supposed to be the next Martin Scorcese, all right? But then this guys right after him. (Joeys cell phone rings and he answers it.) Hello!
Cassie: (hugs him) Its been so long! Last time I saw you, you were setting up your tent in line to see Return of the Jedi.
Monica: Joey, this is for you. (gives him a jar of jam) It's blackberry curin.
Rachel: Be-because I didn't want him to think I was stupid! I mean, that was really embarrassing what happened to you!
Monica: People! People say it! Come here! (She grabs him and kisses him.)
JOEY: Monica, have you ever been with him when he wasn't drinking?
Ross: Oh, is it? Is it? Look, when Monica and I were kids, we had a dog named Rover. And, uh, one day, my dad decides, he doesn't like dogs. So Monica and her friend Phyllis take away the dog. And that was the last time we ever saw him. Don't you see? This is just like that. Only with a few details changed.
(Chandler stares at him, dumbfounded, then finally agrees.)
Rachel: I cant let him go out that way, hes got a meeting. (To Ross) Youve got something here on your back.
Rachel: Well, you might want to tell him it sounds like his wife is (whispers) gay.
(Monica runs over and kisses him.)
The Grip: These got left for ya. (He hands him a bunch of helium balloons.)
Ross: What? (She takes the sign off and hands it to him.) Thats great. That is great. (Crumples up the paper and throws it down in anger.) What did we just finish talking about Ben?!
Rachel: How does going to a strip club help him better?
Joey: Oh, no! (Starts that screaming thing again. Rachel stops him by pulling his fingers out of his ears.)
Joey: Oh thats too bad. Ive kinda been saving up. (She just looks at him in horror.) Uh, are you sure theres no studies I can participate in?
Rachel: Oh, oh, oh, Ill get Rainy Day Bear!! (runs to get him)
Ross: Oh, no! No-no! No, I tired! But I couldnt. Thats why Im here. Maybe we could attack them together? (He glares at him.) That-thats a no.
Rachel: Oh! I do not remember him! Wow! He's really got that sexy, smoldering thing going on. (We see Will angrily staring at Rachel.) Oh my God, hes Look at the way hes just staring at me. I think hes trying to mouth something to me, but I cant make it out. (Will mouths, "I hate you.")
Phoebe: We should help him!
Rachel: Well, why I told him it's haunted. Two can play at this game. (gives Gladys to Monica)
Joey: I-I think everybodys pretending they dont hear you. Anyway, look, I dont know about you and your jackets and your separate tables, but Ross is one of my best friends, and if I save him a seat, Im telling you, he will sit in it! (Ross enters and goes over to the white table) Ross! Ross! Over here, man! I-I saved you seat.
PHOE: Oh I do, it's.... it's Bob Saget. She hates him.
Chandler: (on phone) Hi! Im back. (Goes to hang up the phone.) Yeah, that sounds great. (Listens) Okay. Well, well do it then. (Listens) Okay, bye-bye. (He hangs up the phone and turns around to see Joey standing close to him and screams.)
Joey: Hey, you wanna do Joey a favor, maybe you go out with Joey. (He turns around to see Chandler glaring at him.)
Joey: No, was my best friend. Anyway, I dont know why youre pushing for him so hard. With him out of the way as my best friend, theres a spot open.
Joey: (in a funny voice) Yeah, so it turns out that it wasnt the hair straightener that started the fire. (Rachel prompts him on what to say next.) No-no, it was the candles. Its very not good leaving candles unattended. In fact, one of the first things they teach you in fire school is (Phoebe suddenly enters.) Uhh Uhh Okay. Well, I have to go now. (Phoebe leaves.)
Ross: So, are you gonna see him again?
Ross: I will, I will. See, I'm waiting for the right moment. (Joey looks at him) What? What, now?
Chandler: Okay. Okay. (Joey puts him down.) What are you gonna do to me if you get the part?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, has split up his newspaper so Joey can look at the funnies, while Ross's inappropriate joke at Lamaze class has come back to haunt him.]
Chandler: Because I'm very happy for him! (To Monica) And you, you lucky dog!
(Ross spots Chandler and starts chasing him around the kitchen table. Chandler runs and hides behind Monica.)
Rachel: Then we took a walk down to Bendall's, and I told him not to, but he got me a little bottle of Chanel...
(They all go down the stairs, but Ross turns around, looking like his in a coma. The others also turns around to get him.)
Joey: Yeah, o-o-o-o-okay anyway, I just wanted to say Im sorry. Here. (Hands him a cup.)
(They go inside and Ross closes the door. When he turns around Elizabeth walks up to him, pushes him back against the door, and starts kissing him.)
Chandler: Joey, I saw you push him!
Ross: Do not give him any money!
Joey: (pause) You pushed him!
Monica: Youre gonna like him so much. So umm, when do you want to meet him?
Phoebe: Earl, youre not hearing me! All Im saying is that youre not alone all right? Everybody hates the people they work with! (One of her coworkers overhears that, and she mimes that she didnt mean him.)
Phoebe: This is Patrick. (Points to him.)
(He starts to get up, but Rachel stops him.)
Joey: Food? Uh-huh gimme! (She hands him the paper.)
Rachel: It was like months ago. We were walking by this antique store, and I saw this pin in the window, and I told him it was just like one my grandmother had when I was a little girl. Oh! I can't believe he remembered!
Rachel: Oh my God. Oh my God Ross, no, hang up the phone, give me the phone Ross, give me the phone, give me the phone, give me the. . . (She jumps the couch and lands on Ross's back, finally getting the phone from him. Ross has a confused expression on his face.)
Rachel: (mocking him) You fell asleep?!
Ross: (losing control, we hear him shout outside) MY SANDWICH?!!!
Monica: (obviously attracted to him) Is-is-is there a-a Mrs. Stevens?
Monica: You had no right to go out with him.
Ronni: Oh, uh, well, you left your good hair at my apartment, I figured you'd need it tomorrow for your meeting. (Hands him the hair)
(For the first time we see that the woman Ross is talking too is in fact the hot girl that Joey is looking for. She just kinda stares at him.)
Rachel: (seeing him) Oh hi!
Rachel: (chasing after him) Oh, wait! Sorry, Mr. Paul? Mr. Paul?
Chandler: Well uh, Archie needs money to fix his jalopy (Joey laughs), uh but he doesnt want Reggie to just give him the money. So Reggie hires him as his assistas his butler. And then makes him do all these crazy things like bring him milkshakes that cant have lumps in them.
Chandler: (lets him out) What happened?!!
Joey: They uh director. Uhh, her. (Points to an old woman standing behind him. Who glares at him and walks off.) All right, all right, it's not a gladiator movie. I work here.
Paul: A part of him did yes.
Phoebe: Well, why dont you just get him fired?
(Monica gets behind him and in combination with his sliding the chair forward and her pushing with her leg manages to get up to the table.)