words in movies
Rachel: Well, yknow I was thinking of moving the couch over here.
Rachel: Im sorry, Rosita? As in
Chandler: Couldnt I just say, "This is Ross?"
Monica: (entering, carrying a newspaper) Hey Ross! So, I was checking out the uh, real estate section
Monica: I cant believe mom and dad are selling the house!
Ross: I cant believe they-they didnt even tell us!
Phoebe: I cant believe I still dont know what happened to the window in the attic!
Ross: (on phone) Uh, hello dad! Monica and I just saw the house in the paper! (Listens) Yes were surprised! (Listens) Who did you leave a message with?
Rachel: Joey, Joey I am so sorry.
Joey: I told you not to move it! Rach, how would you feel if say, I wanted to move you mom, and you said dont, and I did it anyway and her head fell off?
Rachel: Okay, come onJoey, Ill buy you a new one! All right? Well go down to the store right now and well-well get you a new chair.
Rachel: But dont you think Rosita wouldve wanted you to move on? I mean yknow, she did always put your comfort first.
Joey: Yeah, I (Shuts off the TV.) I dont want Stevie to see her like this.
Ross: I cant believe we have to say goodbye to the house we grew up in. Man, some-some strangers gonna be living in my room.
Monica: Oh please! Dad turned my room into a gym 20 minutes after I moved out! I gotta say, a tanning bed and a stack of Victorias Secret catalogues, not a gym!
Ross: I was their first born! They thought she was barren! Its not my fault.
Phoebe: Ugh, I hate this year!
Phoebe: Well okay, its already February and Ive only given two massages and they were both the worst tippers in the world!
Phoebe: Yeah and yeah, and it would probably be better than the last telephone job I had. Yknow, I probably wouldnt have to say spank as much. (Monica and Ross are shocked.)
Phoebe: Okay, I can do that! Oh, by the way, I love my office.
Phoebe: Oh okay. Umm, all right. (Picks up the phone and starts reading from the script.) Hi, this is Phoebe from Empire Office Supplies, can I speak to your supply manager please?
Supervisor: Im the supply manager.
Phoebe: Umm, okay I would like to talk to you about your toner needs.
Phoebe: Oh okay, well Im sorry to bother you. Bye-bye. (Hangs up the phone.) Yeah youre right, this is easy.
Supervisor: So, I think youre ready to sell toner, do you have any last questions?
Phoebe: No. (Pause) Oh wait yes! I do, I do have one question. What is toner?
Chandler: Joey! Joe! (Sees that hes not here and starts investigating. He picks up the bag of chips.) Full bag. (He picks up the beer.) Beers still cold. Something terrible mustve happened here! (He decides its not that important; sits down on Rosita, and the back falls off causing him to flip over.) Oh no-no-no-no-no-no! (Runs over to Stevie.) Stevie, I was never here! (Runs out.)
Mr. Geller: Im here!
Mr. Geller: Im sorry we cant store your childhood things anymore.
Monica: Oh, thats okay, I cant wait to see everything again! All of the memories
Mr. Geller: Well, I dont know whats in the boxes down here, but I do know there are six or seven Easy Bake Ovens in the attic.
Monica: I used to love to play restaurant.
Mr. Geller: So, I think youre boxes are over here. (They walk over to them.)
Mr. Geller: I dont know. They-they must be your mothers, but please, please dont ask her. Ill throw these away. (He puts them in his pocket as Ross finds something of interest in one of his boxes.)
Mr. Geller: I think I accidentally used Monicas boxes to keep the water away from the Porsche.
Phoebe: (on phone) Hi, this Phoebe from Empire Office Supplies, can I speak to your supply manager please? (Listens) Earl, thanks. (Listens) Hi Earl, this is Phoebe from Empire Office Supplies Id like to talk to you about your toner needs. (Shes reading from the script.)
Earl: I dont need any toner.
Phoebe: Im hearing what youre saying, but at our prices everyone needs toner.
Phoebe: May I ask why?
Phoebe: I surely do!
Earl: Okay, I dont need any toner because Im going to kill myself.
Phoebe: No-no wait-wait! I cant just let you hang up! Just please talk to me.
Earl: Well I only have one thing to do today. (He looks at his board in his office that reads, "Todays Tasks: KILL SELF.") I guess I could push it back.
Earl: Its just that I uh, have been working for ten years now at this meaningless, dead-end job and nobody here even knows I exist!
Earl: Oh yeah? I work in a cubicle surrounded by people. Ive been talking to you for five minutes now about killing myself and no ones even looked up from their desk. Hang-hang on. (To the people standing around his cubicle.) Hey everybody! Uh, Im gonna kill myself! (Theres no response; no one even looks up.) Ill get back to ya. (To Phoebe) I got nothing. Wait. (He sets the phone down.) Uh, hey Marge! (Mimes putting a gun to his head, pulling the trigger, and splattering his brain on the wall behind him. Then points to himself. Marge watches this, then goes back to work.) (To Phoebe) Ehh, nothing. Nothing.
Joey: No I wont.
Joey: Because, I know what I like and what I dont like! Its not the same thing!
Joey: I dont know why you say that so soon.
Rachel: Come on Joey, I just bought you a new chair! The most expensive one in the store! Hey, yknow what I was thinking? We could name her Francette.
Joey: Well, I guess youre right. Maybe, maybe Ill take her down to the incinerator. Its gonna be so said, and kinda cool. (He goes to remove the back, but it doesnt come off. So he sits down in it, puts his feet up, stands up, and looks back at it.) Shes heeled!
Rachel: Its not a miracle Joey! Im sure theres some explanation.
Rachel: Joey, I really dont
Mr. Geller: Well, shell understand right? Its not like I did it on purpose.
Mr. Geller: Well I dont know, I-I suppose we may have favored you unconsciously, you were a medical marvel! The doctor said your mother could
Ross: Dad, dad I dont want to hear about it.
Mr. Geller: Your make-up kit? Id feel better.
Rachel: (grabbing a beer out of the chairs fridge) I am so psyched I kept this chair for myself!
Phoebe: Earl, youre not hearing me! All Im saying is that youre not alone all right? Everybody hates the people they work with! (One of her coworkers overhears that, and she mimes that she didnt mean him.)
Earl: No! Thats just the "Hey Guy" guy. He says that to everybody! Hes the worst! Id like to take him with me!
Earl: Okay, I should, I should probably be getting back to my thing now. See ya. (Hangs up.)
Phoebe: No! Im not finished yet! Dont! Dont you dare hang up on me!!!
Monica: Hey, I just whipped us up some Easy Bake treats, they should be ready in about three days.
Monica: (looking through it) Really? Wow! It looks like I had some trouble staying inside the lines.
Monica: Wow! Look at this! (Picking up a shirt.) I cant believe I even fit into this shirt! (She holds it up and it reads: Tyrannosaurus Ross.) (She turns it around and looks at it.) Oh, this is yours. (Hands it to Ross.)
Ross: Oh, I dont know how that got in there.
Mr. Geller: Well, the garage flooded sweetie and it ruined everything in your boxes. Im sorry.
Mr. Geller: Im afraid so.
Monica: So why-why wasnt Rosss stuff ruined? (Pause) And if you say the words medical marvel Im going to Easy Bake your head!
Mr. Geller: Well, I used your boxes to divert water away from the Porsche.
Monica: So wait, Rosss stuff is fine, but I have no memories because you wanted to keep the bottom two inches of your car away from water!!!
Monica: I cant believe this! (Storms out.)
Mr. Geller: (To Ross) Screw it! Im having one. (Takes out and lights a cigarette.)
Chandler: Yeah, Id love to but Ive tried that so many times they wont even let me in the store anymore.
Rachel: Well what if I told you, you can do it in my apartment?
Rachel: I just purchased the La-Z-Boy E-cliner 3000. (Which is an actual product by the way, Im not sure about the 3000 part.)
Rachel: Well, its a long story, but umm I broke Joeys chair
Chandler: I thought I broke Joeys chair! Thats why I replaced it with mine!
Chandler: Im gettin my chair back! (Heads for Joey and Rachels.)
Joey: Well, it looks like it wasnt heeled after all! Yeah! So, I guess this chair is mine now! (Sits down in it and groans.)
Joey: (sarcastic) Oh no this is devastating! My faith is shaken. Im so glad I have the new chair to get my through this difficult time in my life.
Rachel: Uh-huh! Nice try, but you dont get that chair anymore! All right? That is my chair now! You can sit on my lap! (Joey starts to get up.) No I take that back!
Chandler: I think I should get the chair!
Chandler: So Joey breaks my chair and I get nothing!
Phoebe: (to Marge) Excuse me! Can you tell me where I can find Earl? Hes the supply manager around here.
Marge: Sorry, I dont know any Earl.
Earl: (screaming) Im right here!!!!
Phoebe: (goes over to his desk) Earl! Im Phoebe.
Earl: (exhales) Look, um I really appreciate your coming down
Phoebe: No-no I cant! I cant let you do it!
Earl: I thought it was toner.
Phoebe: No! Think about it okay? This isnt even my regular job! Okay? And my first day on the job, youre my first call! And-and somebody else mightve hung up on you, but I wouldnt do that because I know about this stuff. My mom killed herself.
Phoebe: Im not gonna give you tips! Look dont you see that this-this this all came together so that I could stop you from doing this.
Earl: Im actually the office manager.
Phoebe: Oh my God! So was she! Oh, Ive got-Ive got goose bumps. (She holds out her arm.)
Phoebe: Well, yknow Im wearing layers and its warm.
Earl: (To All) Did you hear that?! I dont need you guys to care about me! Because the universe cares! The whole universe! (Laughs as everyone ignores him.) (To Phoebe) I really wished theyd care just a little bit though.
Phoebe: Yknow, I dont-I dont think its you. This is a freaky place. (To All) Hey! Guys! (Everyone looks up.) (To Earl) Oh no, its you.
Monica: Oh, this terrible! Everything is destroyed! Look at this. (She picks up some kind of furry thing.) It obviously meant enough for me to save it, and I dont even know what it is! Ohh, its still soft. (She rubs it against her cheek.) What do you think this is?
Ross: All right. I think it was a mouse.
Monica: How do you think I am?! Youve wrecked all my childhood memories. You love Ross more than me. And I just rubbed a dead mouse on my face!
Mr. Geller: Sweetheart, we love you just as much as Ross! Now, Im sorry about everything that happened and Id probably never be able to make it up to you, but heres a start. (He hands her a small box.)
Mr. Geller: Ive been thinking about getting rid of it. I was driving it the other day and saw my reflection in a store window. Your mothers right, I do look like an ass.
Ross: Well w-w-w-w-wait, w-wait, wait, wait a minute! I mean a couple of stupid boxes get wet and she gets a Porsche?!
Ross: Well, what about me?! Im a medical marvel!!
Monica: Are you kidding?! I get a Porsche and the barca loungers gone?! This is the best day ever! (Runs out.)
Chandler: Y'know, I was thinking about ah, asking her for her number.
Joey: Im telling ya, you guys are totally getting back together!
Rachel: Well, I guess we just find a divorce lawyer? (Looks at Ross.)
Ross: Oh, oh, I'm, I'm, I'm sorry sweetie, I was just trying to ah, I'm dialing another number. (hangs up)
Ross: I mean, I dont feel like I even have a girlfriend anymore.
Joey: I got that! I forgive ya! Don't come out here!
ROSS: It's just, it's, it's me. You, you know I've only been with one woman my whole life and she turned out to be a lesbian. So now I've got myself all psyched out, you know, and it's become, like this, this thing and I. . . Well, you just must think I'm weird.
Rachel: Oh, I have to go pee. Apparently this baby thinks that my bladder is a squeeze toy. (Goes to the bathroom.)
Joey: Ohh, you're upset because you think I chose Ross over you! No! I knew you could take care of yourself. Y'know, I mean Ross, he need help. He's not street like us!
Malcom: (reading) I met Phoebe today. She was really nice to me eventhough I'm such a loser. And, then when I was walking home I thought about her a lot, it was weird, but kinda cool.
Monica: I'm sorry, I didn't know to look for Chinese food on the floor.
Joey: I can do that, yeah. How is Friday?
Charlton Heston: Put some pants on kid so I can kick your butt.
Susan: I thought they could...I'll try to get back as soon as I can. I'm sorry. (Ross realizes Kristin was expecting him to laugh, so he starts to laugh hysterically.)
Joey: All right, all right, all right, all right, all right, you really wanna know how I did it, Ill show ya. When you handed me back the card, what you didnt see was, I looked at it so fast that it was invisible to the naked eye. (picks up a card and quickly looks at it) I just did it. (does it again) I just did it, again. Here, Ill slow it down so that you guys can see it. (looks and the card in slow motion)
Chandler: Monica, that was also true an hour ago! I mean, please, look at you! Your hand is blistered, you can barely stand, your hair is inexplicable! Ok, you've already proven you are just as good as he is, now we've missed our dinner reservations, so now let's just go upstairs, order room service, take a shower and shave your head!
Joey: Are you kidding me? Watch! (Makes funny faces trying to cry) Well I cant do it with you guys watching me!
Rachel: Honey see, it doesnt mean that I dont love you. Because I do. I love you, I love you so much. But my work its-its for me y'know, Im out there, on my own, and Im doing it and its scary but I love it, because its mine. I, but, I mean is that okay?
Ross: Thats the day youre gonna die? Seedarnit, Ive got shuffleboard that day.
Ross: No! No I cant. I mean Rachels out with some guy. My baby went with her. If anything that picture keeps moving further away.
Phoebe: Oh yknow whats sadder than this? Bambi. I cried for three days with that movie. No wait two! Because on the third day my mother killed herself so I was partly crying for that.
JOEY: Well uh, I had breakfast here so technically I saved $3.50.
Joey: Ooh, hey, I know how we can decide! All right, uh, I'm gonna ask you a bunch of questions and then you have to answer real fast. Okay? So uh, clear your mind Clear it right out! Clear it out! Clear!
Phoebe: Okay, remember that little problem I was having during my fourth month of pregnancy?
Emily: (laughs) Well, I should hope not. Ross knows better than that by now.
Monica: I'll take it down to 95% but that's the best I can do.
Rachel: Hi. Can Emma and I live here for a while?
RICHARD: Well, uh, sometimes I think about selling my practice, we could move to France, make French toast.
Monica: I wanted it for years! I was gonna make cookies for my children.
Phoebe: Yeah, I-I cantI mean yknow I was trying to be really y'know okay and upbeat about it, I justI feel so dwarfed by your musical gift. I
Tim: Wow! Umm, okay. Umm (To Phoebe) I-I-I realize I came on a little strong but, its only because I think youre so amazing. (To Monica) And uh, I-I just wanna, I just wanna tell you how much I appreciate you giving me an opportunity here because Iyoure the most talented chef Ive ever worked for. Anyway (Starts to leave and Phoebe and Monica trade looks.)
Chandler: Hey Ross, I was wondering if Oh my God!! Where are all the men???
Joey: (eating) Huh. So then I can heat this up? (Goes and does so.)
Monica: Yeah, and yknow, if you could not mention to them that we live together, that would be great! (Quickly trying to change subjects), I was thinking we would eat around four.
Ross: No, I fold. (lays cards down, and gets up)
Phoebe: Yes, and then I realized I'm against that, and uh, so then we bought some, (sees Monica pointing at her chest) uh, boobs.
Ross: Ok, now, is there anything I can do to... you know, butter him up? Anything he really likes?
JOEY: Well, I couldn't do it. I told her I didn't want to get the part that way.
Joey: Oh, really? You know what your great friend did? We're out to dinner, ok? (he starts talking about the date and we can see what happened through a flashback video) We're getting along, having a really nice time. I was thinking she was really cool. And then, out of nowhere...
Joey: I dont know, but it smells good. (He gets up and heads for the door only to stop short and start laughing.)
Ross: Look, even if I were gonna tell her, I don't have to do it now. Okay? I'll be seeing her again. We've got time.
Monica: Hi. (On the phone) Hi, uh, yes, this is Monica Geller. Um, I believe I'm taking some classes with you and I was wondering what they were.
Rachel: Och, god. (seeing Emma) Oh, thank god, you�re okay. I�m so sorry we left you. Mom never gonna leave you again. Never ever ever again. Uch.
Ross: I know. I know. I mean, one day, he's this little thing, and before you know it, he's this little thing I can't get off my leg.
Joey: You know, I could like maybe... I could do a dramatic reading of one of her books!
Chandler: Its a funny story, actually. (coughs) I kind of fell asleep in the meeting this morning so when I said Id move to Tulsa, I didnt really know what I was saying.
Phoebe: I know! So this woman probably could like have all kinds of stories about my parents, and she might even know like where my Dad is. So I looked her up, and she lives out by the beach. So maybe this weekend we could go to the beach?
Phoebe: Oh God, this is turning into the worst wedding day ever! The bride is pregnant. The groom is missing. And Im still holding this. (She throws the test back into the trash.)
RACH: Phoebe, what the hell are you talking about? Other than their names being similar, I'm sorry, I do not see what you're seeing.
MICH: No, no, I am, but only because for the last hour and a half I've been playing the movie Diner in my head.
ROSS: Well, I guess I'm gonna call the beer company and try to find out where he is.
Chandler: Oh-ho-ho-ho-no! No! No switching! No sharing, and dont come crying to me! Ha-ha-ha! I may just sit here and have my cake all day! Just sit here in the hallway and eat my (Rachel knocks the plate from his hand and it falls on the floor. That process leaves just the forkful Chandler has, Rachel starts to go after that little bit and Chandler retreats into his apartment.)
Rachel: Mon, honey youre not dying. Im just moving out. Yknow, I mean were gonna see each other all the time.
CHANDLER: Man, I am so beat.
Monica: All right, Rachel, I know-I know you think I'm crazy, please, before you tell him you love him, just-just try to find one person who thinks this is a good idea. Because I bet you, you can't.
Ross: Well, I do, so let's... (Ben and Ross sit down on the couch) So, Ben, you uh, you know what holiday is coming up, don't ya?
Chandler: Im full, and yet I know if I stop eating this, Ill regret it.
Minister: (Looking and feeling awkward. he looks towards Emily.) Uhh...Shall I go on?
Chandler: If they cant find a home for her, they kill her! And Im not gonna let that happen to little Yasmine!
Joey: I dont know. Its-its just lately, Ive been feeling Okay, heres what it is (Pause) You know what? I feel a lot better, thanks! (Starts to leave)
Chandler: Oh, y'know what, Im gonna be okay, you dont have to throw a party for me.
Erica: Well, there is a chance it's another guy. I mean, I have only ever been with two guys, but they sorta overlapped.
JOEY: Absolutely.� You'd do it for me.� Not that you ever have to because I know how to keep my women satisfied.
Doug: But seriously, I believe that we should all support President Clinton. And her husband Bill. (Chandler does the laugh.)
Joey: And I couldn't find this little plastic thing (holds up plastic thing) that goes on top of the blender...and I thought...well... how important can that be, right...? Turns out very!
Joshua: Yeah, its-its my only weird thing, I swear. And I-I-I wouldve told you about it, but I didnt know they would be here.
Monica: Sush!! I cannot believe she is still up there.
PHOEBE: Now OK, I haven't seen it yet so, if you don't like it, well, so what, none of you ever made a video. [puts the tape in] OK.
Monica: Then youd be going back and forth all the time, I mean it doesnt make any sense.
Phoebe: (Trying to get up.) Wait!! Where are you going?! What are you doing?! No!! Wait!! (Not able to get up.) God!! Why am I always pregnant when she does that?!
Chandler: Look I never should have kissed your girlfriend, but Im (Joey hangs up the phone again.)
Monica: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Yeah, hi! Mrs. Tribbiani? (Listens) Hi, this is Monica Geller. (Listens) Yeah Im just calling to say that Chandler and I uh, really hope you can make it to the wedding. Yeah, apparently a bunch of invitations that we sent werent delivered. Umm, I guess there was some screw up at the damn post office! (Joey nods his approval.) (Listens) T-Tell me about it! (Listens) Yeah, yeah, the US Post Office? No, more like US lost office! (Listens) What are they Irish?! (Joey gives her a thumbs up.)
Phoebe: Yeah, um, I cant fly. Im having my brothers babies.
Joey: Yknow what? I think thats enough for now. Yeah. I dont want to be over rehearsed.
Rachel: So what?! Yknow what? The way I see it(Phoebe pulls out a hair from the back of her head)Ow! Son of a bitch!!
Joey: Well, I just tape it to the back of my toilet tank. (realises that anyone could have overheard that) I didn't say that! It's in a bank guarded by robots!
Big Nosed Rachel: Ugh! I cannot believe Chip dumped me for that slut Nancy Branson. I am never going out with him again. I don't care how much he begs!
Chandler: I tried, but apparantly singing "I will survive" in a helium voice - not helping.
Chandler: I can see it now, "Look dad, its the Sphinx!" (Does that party noise again.)
Joey: All right relax, look I'll pay you with the money from the acting job I am definitely gonna get thanks to you.
Mr. Geller: I didnt even have a chance to act as though Im okay with it!
Chandler: I happen to know a Fun Bob.
Rachel: I mean n-not-not fake at all like most famous people.
Rachel: I did it! Oh! I finished it! I did it all by myself! And there's nobody to hug!
JOEY: I don't need to think about it. I was Dr. Drake Remoray. That was huge. Big things are gonna happen, you'll see. Ross, you still there?
CHANDLER: (thinks, then turns to Monica) I climb down the fire escape and you can't put that in the closet?
Ross: What... what am I gonna do? My speech is gone, Chandler!
Chandler: I would but mine doesnt fit. The pants are a little tight.
Joey: When have I ever done that?! (And does the sound again.)
Joey: Youre not stupid. Youre meaner than I thought.
PHOEBE: OK, I smell smoke. Maybe that's 'cause someone's pants are on fire.
Ross: I know, uh, the air, the-the trees... even though Nana's gone there's, there's something almost, uh- I dunno, almost life-aff- (Not looking where he is going he falls into an open grave)
DUNCAN: Oh, yeah, um, alright, I kinda need a divorce.
Dr. Harad: Okay, you're at ten centimeters. Time to start having some babies. All right, I want only the father in here please.
Chandler: And we just sit here. I mean if I die the only way people would even know I was here, would be by the ass print on this chair! Look, we have to do something. Okay? Something huge!
Ross: I know! (Looks at the ball in his hands.) Don't switch hands, okay?
Chandler: Well, Im sure you get another one at Ann Taylors.
Janine: Well I did. I really did. And you guys, Ive got to say, Im sorry if I was a little weird after the last time we went out. I guess I was just nervous or something.
Joey: Maybe you need sex. I had sex a couple days ago.
Monica: You bet that Id screw up?! So all that stuff about hiring me because I was good was