words in movies
Joey: No-no, I cant! I cant! Not after the other night, its just its too weird, okay? Dont tell her Im here! (Turns to run to the bathroom and his bagel falls off the plate onto the floor.) Dont eat that! (Runs to the bathroom as Rachel enters.)
Chandler: I dont see him. (To Monica) Do you see him?
Monica: I dont see him. Hey! Maybe hes in the sugar bowl! (Opens the sugar bowl) Joey? Nope! (Closes the sugar bowl and they both laugh.)
Rachel: Well, I havent seen him since that night that he told me how he yknow I dont know, I think hes avoiding me. Why is that bagel on the floor?
Rachel: All right. Well listen, if you see Joey will you just tell him uh tell him I miss him. (Exits and Joey enters.)
Joey: Yeah, a naked bagel game? (Picks up his dropped bagel.) (To Chandler) Dude, I dont know. Thats a pretty small hole.
Joey: I cant! Yknow? You guys dont know what its like to put yourself out there like that and just get shot down.
Chandler: (incredulous) I dont know what thats like?! Up until I was 25 I thought the only response to, "I love you," was, "Oh crap!"
Monica: Hello? No rejection? I got shot down at fat camp! Boy, kids are mean when theyre hungry.
Joey: All right so, so what do I do?
Monica: This is Rachel. I mean, what are you gonna do, never going to talk to her again? I mean I know its weird, its awkward, but you gotta at least try.
Joey: Yeah. Okay. (Goes to take a bite out of the previously mentioned bagel.) Whoa! (Stops.) I almost forgot this was on your
Phoebe: Okay, so when youre done with your tea Ill look at your leaves and tell you your fortune.
Chandler: I didnt know you read tea leaves.
Phoebe: Oh yeah, Ive done it for years. I actually stopped because I was so accurate. Yknow, and-and yknow, one of the great joys of life is its-its wondrous unpredictability. Yknow? And also tea tends to give me the trots.
Monica: Okay, Im done. Read mine.
Phoebe: Okay. (Looks at the leaves.) Ooh, I see a ladder. (Checks the book) Which can mean either a promotion or a violent death.
Rachel: Okay, Im done. Do mine.
Phoebe: Okay. (Reads the leaves) Umm, oh! Okay, I see a circle.
Rachel: Well, I have been spending a lot of time in the lab.
Phoebe: Umm Wow, all right. (Checks the book.) Wow! Yay! Ooh, Im gonna meet a guy! And really soon! And hes gonna be the man of my dreams. Probably not the guy I had a dream about last night. (Points at Chandler.)
Ross: Great! Great. Then I mustve left it at Monas. I knew it!
Chandler: Well, Im sure you get another one at Ann Taylors.
Ross: Thats my favorite shirt! Okay? I love that shirt!
Ross: I dont know. I mean I-I guess I could. Its just that we didnt really end things such good terms. And if I go over there Id be ignoring the one thing she asked me to do when we broke up, jump up my own ass and die. (Walks away.)
Phoebe: (noticing a guy sitting by the green post looking at her) Oh wait a second you guys for the last couple weeks Ive been that guy everywhere I go. We take the same bus. We go to the same bookstore, the same dry cleaners; maybe hes the tea guy. (He gets up to leave, and smiles at Phoebe.)
Rachel: So I thought Joey and I would be okay once we hung out, but its not even like we know how to be with each other anymore.
Chandler: I know its tough now, but things will get better.
Chandler: Im not great at the advice, can I interest you in a sarcastic comment? Some cheese?
Chandler: Lets just say if I cant find the right CD case I just put it in the nearest one.
Chandler: Honey, Im gonna save you some time, 200 CDs, not one of them in the right case.
Monica: Hmm, I dont know. We really have to talk this through.
Rachel: Oh my God!! You guys have such problems!! I feel so terrible for you!
Monica: Yeah, like I dont know, maybe you have a work problem that you need his advice on.
Rachel: Ooh, I can do that.
Monica: Uh I really dont know what to tell you Rach, I really dont. I mean, maybe Joey can help you out with your, with your big work problem.
Joey: Huh. Okay. (Awkward silence.) So uh, I think Im gonna take off.
Rachel: I know I told you, its a really big problem.
Rachel: Thats what I told him!
Rachel: Well Ill tell ya! (Pause) See uh my-my boss and his wifeThey-they cant have children. So umm, and thatwe were at the Christmas party, and he got drunk, and he said to me, "Rachel, I want to buy your baby."
Joey: Man! When you said it was a problem about your boss and the baby I figured it was something about maternity leave.
Guy: Oh, its you. I see you everywhere. Im Jim, Jim Nelson.
Phoebe: Oh Jim, Jim Nelson Im Phoebe, Phoebe Buffay. We certainly have been seeing a lot of each other lately.
Ross: Mona? (Theres no answer, so he starts to leave but remembers where her extra key is. He reaches atop a hall light just outside her door and grabs the key. He looks at in triumph as the pain from it being hot moves along his nervous system to his brain, and when it arrives his brain orders his hand to drop the hot key and his mouth to squeal in pain. After dropping the key he pulls his shirtsleeve over his hand and uses the key to open the door and enter Monas apartment.) Okay, if I were a salmon shirt, where would I be? (He hears a key in the door and as it opens he dives behind the couch.)
Mona: (entering, with her date) I am so sorry I spilled wine all over your shirt.
Mona: No, its still wet. Yknow what? Let me get it out before it sets. Ooh, I have something you can wear. Here. (Hands him Rosss shirt.)
Mona's Date: Oh umm, I-I dont know if I want to wear a womans shirt.
Rachel: Oh it was perfect! I mean it really felt like he was my friend again.
Rachel: Oh thats not important. The point is, I reallyI think everythings gonna be okay.
Mr. Zelner: May I help you?
Phoebe: Oh okay, well Im a masseuse, and I used to work at this place
Phoebe: I-I-I like, I like parties.
Phoebe: Yeah I guess, a little.
Jim: It aint no thing, Im wild too.
Phoebe: (a little freaked out) So! Umm, anyway I-I lived in New York, someone wildly I guess, for ummWell since I was fourteen.
Jim: Im sorry. Im staring. Its just that you have the most beautiful eyes.
Phoebe: Okay. Umm look, youre coming on a little strong. But Im going to give you the benefit of the doubt, because it seems the universe really wants to be together. So, why dont we just start over okay? And you can just tell me about yourself.
Jim: I write erotic novels, for children.
Jim: Oh also, you might be interested to know that I have a Ph.D.
Joey: Lets just say I took care of it.
Joey: Dont worry! Dont worry. I just told him, very nicely, "You dont go buying peoples babies, so back off!!"
Rachel: No! No, no-no-no Joey he doesnt want to buy my baby! I made that up!
Rachel: (To Joey) I cant believe that you yelled at my boss! Im-Im gonna lose my job! What am I going to do?!
Rachel: Oh Joey, I cant believe you brought my boss into this! Im gonna get fired!
Mr. Zelner: Oh I think its best that I speak first.
Mr. Zelner: Ive asked Lee from human resources to be here as a witness to our conversation.
Mr. Zelner: If I in any way implied that I wanted to buy your baby I am sorry. Okay? Last week when I asked you when your due date was uh, I certainly did not mean that I felt that I was due your baby. Yeah, I want to be very clear that I understand that its your baby, and it is not mine to purchase.
Phoebe: I know, but that creep that I went on that date with goes to there so I have to find a new one. I also have to find a new video store, a new bank, a new adult bookstore, a new grocery store
Phoebe: A new grocery store. The universe said I was going to meet a nice guy and thats what they gave me? (Looks up) When I get up there Im going to kick some ass.
Monica: Dont worry Phoebe, youre gonna meet someone. If I can meet a great guy, so can you.
Monica: Are you kidding? This is where they get out stains! Okay? This is like Disneyland for me. Im-Im gonna be over here watching the dance of the clean shirts. (She points to and walks over to the electric clothes rack they have.)
Guy: (To Phoebe) Oh, excuse me! I think you dropped s (looks at Phoebe.) Wow!
Guy: Im sorry, its just that youre so incredibly beautiful.
Phoebe: Oh yeah well, Im sorry about that too, but what are you going to do?
Guy: I hope you dont think Im crazy but I feel like I was meant to pick this up, do you believe in that kind of thing?
Monica: (to the clerk) Ooh, an ink stain! Hey, can I watch how you get this out?
Rachel: Its all gonna be okay. Theyre just so happy that Im not suing them that they gave me one extra month paid maternity leave. So long as I understand that the money should not construed as a down payment on this or any other child I should bear.
Chandler: Oh Im sorry, youre kicking me out of my own living room?
Chandler: Ill be in there. (Goes into the bedroom.)
Rachel: Joey, Im really sorry that I lied to you. I was just trying to make things
Joey: I know. I know.
Rachel: It kinda worked. I mean yknow, I dont know about you buy I havent thought about our thing since all this.
Rachel: Yeah I know! I miss that.
Joey: Me too. I mean I havent thought at all about how I put myself out there and said all that stuff and how you didnt feel the same way about me and-and how it was really awkward.
Ross: (on phone) Item J437-A, color: winterberry. (Theres a knock on the door as he hangs up the phone. He answers it to Mona.) Hi umm, listen come here, come in. (She does so.) Im so-so sorry about yesterday. I-Im really sorry. Its just that I (He picks up the pink shirt.)
Mona: (interrupting him) Listen Ross, you dont have to apologize. I understand why you were there.
Mona: Yeah, you still have feelings for me. And-and to be honest, I-I still have feelings for you. And I wish that we can work it out Ross, but we cant. Its too complicated with you and Rachel and the baby, I-I just It just wasnt meant to be.
Mona: Ross, we we have to be strong. Okay, I-Im gonna go. (She picks up the shirt Ross has just set down.) Can I? To remember you?
Monica: I read to you.
Ross: I was the James Michener of dirty talk. It was the most elaborate filth you have ever heard. I mean, there were characters, plot lines, themes, a motif... at one point there were villagers.
Phoebe: I don't think you mean that.
Janice: Im sorry I find it hard to believe that a group of people who spends as much time together as you guys do has never bumped uglies.
Monica: Oh, I don't know. Maybe, um, "That was nice?" Admit something to me? "I'll call you?"
Coma Guy: So. I guess I'll see you around.
Rachel: (laughs and pushes the chair back in) Yeah, well, y'know umm No honey, listen I think it's a great idea to become friends with someone before you date them, but I think the way you do it is y'know you meet someone, become their friend, build a foundation, then you ask them out on a date. Don't hit on your existing friends!
Ross: Yeah, yeah, I was watching. (The instructor just nods and walks away.) Umm, hey, a couple of questions though. Umm, about that-that-that last move where the woman tripped you and then pinned you to the floor, what-what-what-what would you do next?
Phoebe: Y'know what? We thought you were different. But I guess it was just the coma.
Phoebe: ...sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle;and away they all flew like the down of a thistle; but I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight, "Merry Christmas to all, and to all a goodnight!"
Ross: You want me to take some girl Ive never met to the opera so you can go to a club and flirt with some guy, hmm, that-that is a toughie.
Rachel: I dont know, Id leave it on the changing table? (Everyone gasps.) What?! Whatd I do? Whatd I do?!
Joey: Ok, thank you. And I promise you I will not forget this one. (he starts writing on his hand) Mandy.
Chandler: Okay, bye, champ. Now, I know there's gonna be a lot of babes in San Diego, but remember, there's also a lot to learn.
Joey: Ok, I got one, I got one. Uh, if he blows into one, does the other one get bigger?
Chandler: Yeah, why not. (They shake hands) So I told her.
Phoebe: Just, 'cause, I don't want her to go through what I went through with Carl- oh!
Rachel: Julie! Julie, isn't that great? I mean, isn't that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic?
Rachel: No, I was ten. I just developed early.
Ross: Thank you. (She walks off) C'mon, Marcel, whaddya say you and I do a little mingling? (Marcel runs off) Alright, I'll, uh... catch up with you later.
Joey: (laughs) No. But I got Knicks tickets for you, me, and Chandler.
Phoebe: Oh, I wanna see! Lemme see! Lemme see! (She runs up and takes the binoculars.)
(They start the routine. However hard I try, I really cannot describe it. You will have to watch it. Im sorry.)
Rachel: I know...
Joey: Oh my God! I didn�t feel a thing ! Hey, are you still looking for a job because you can tweeze circles aroundthat sadistic bitch at the saloon
Joey: I dont know Ross, not if youre gonna talk about how you gave up a career in basketball to become a paleontologist.
Ross: Oh, I don't know, they seem to have a shared interest in each other's tonsils...
Kathy: Oh. Well uh, (to Chandler) you not being able to talk may make this easier. Listen umm (She looks at the gang who are watching, they take the hint and leave them alone.) Listen I dont wanna be someone who comes between two best friends. I just, I cant stand seeing what this is doing to you guys, and I dont wanna be the cause of that. So, I dont think we can see each other anymore. Im gonna go to my moms in Chicago, Im gonna stay there for awhile. I think this couldve be something really amazing, but yknow this is probably for the best. Yknow? Im gonna miss you. Good-bye, Chandler.
Ross: So I'm a pimp huh? It's okay! Look, I know that sometimes I can be a pain in the ass, but you just have to talk to me. Tell me if something is bothering you. Okay? And for my part I will do everything I can to keep my annoying habits just (Does the 'quiet down' maneuver).
Chandler: God, I love these fingers...
Chandler (to Joey): At what point did it stop being funny that I took her passport?
Ross: Listen, I know you wanted to talk to me, but I have an idea that may make you want to stay married. (Rachel shakes her head.) We register, and you get to keep all the presents!
Phoebe: Oh I-I dont know about that. No, I think that if the two of you had sex the-the-the repercussions would be catastrophic.
Ross: (on intercom) Uh, never mind, I don't want to know. (Carol and Susan laugh)
ROSS: Uh, actually mom, I think Monica thanked him for the both of us.
Phoebe: (to Rachel) I can't believe you tried to move the green ottoman.
Phoebe: Oh, okay, I don't know what you just said, so let's get started.
Joey: I love babies, with their little baby shoes, and their little baby toes, and their little baby hands...
Paolo: Uh, I am, uh, being naked?
Chandler: Oh yeah, I had no idea the amazing journey you go through as a woman! Tell me, tell me about your first period!
Joey: I don't know, birds just don't say, "Hello, sit here, eat something."
Chandler: I know!
Tag: Someone I can spoil, yknow?
Rachel: (taking cookie) Ok, thanks Pheebs (takes bite of cookie, overwhelmed) Oh my God, why have I never tasted these before?!
Rachel: I guess you don't.
Joey: Okay. Yeah. (She leaves and he goes to pick up a box marked books, but decides to take the box marked pillows instead.) Yeah, Ill grab this one. (He follows her upstairs.)
Ross: (pause) I think on some level, you-you sabotaged your own audition so that Ben would get the part.
Joey: (offended) Oh well I think I am, yeah and I think I'm definitely gonna get the part.
Cassie: Thanks for letting me stay here! I mean Monicas place was nice, but her fiancee sure stares a lot.
Chandler: Well, it's a pretty big commitment, I mean, what if one of us wants to move out?
Rachel: I need some milk.
Ross: I think It's the most beautiful table I've ever seen.
Chandler: ....And then I just, you know, threw the bag of barley at her, and ran out of the store.
Phoebe: I think she took it pretty well. You know Paolo's over there right now, so...
Joey: Well youre not selling the story! Its like; its like you dont believe it! Look, I gotta go. I got a date, but try this. Do what I do when Im preparing for an audition. Okay? Ill set you up with my video camera and you can record yourself and-and see what youre doing wrong.
Phoebe: Should I not have told you?
Rachel: I don't know...right, he's the pig!
Monica: Chandler In all my life I never thought I would be so lucky. (Starting to cry.) As to fall in love with my best my best Theres a reason why girls dont do this!
Rachel: Well, I don't know, you guys figure it out, I got to put Emma down for a nap.
Joey: Feminist issue. That's where I went!
Phoebe: Yeah! Sure! Ooh, I left my purse up at Monicas. Ill be right back. (She goes to get it.)
Paolo: Uh, I am, uh, to say good-bye.
Joey: Chandler! You are not gonna believe this! I have found my identical hand twin!
Chandler: Not like that, I won't! (pauses) Kip would have liked the birds! (Joey turns and gives Chandler a dirty look)
Ross: (pulls Monica back) ...and I really think it should be me.
Chandler: Y'know, I was hoping for a little more enthusiasm.
Chandler: Well, I think you need to come out of your shell just a little.
Chandler: Oh yeah! Yeah! Dont worry about me, Ill be fine! (Does a kara-tay move.)
Ross: Uh, okay, yeah, we could do that, but before we head off to the murder capital of the North-East, I was, uh, kinda wanting to run something by you. Y'know how we were, uh, y'know, talking before about, uh, relationships and stuff? (Uncorks the wine) Well-
Chandler: Can I just say one thing?
Monica: I mean, all Im asking for is just a little emotion! Is that too much to ask after six years?! I mean what? Are-are-are Rachel and I not as close as you guys?! I mean do we not have as much fun?! Dont I deserve a few tears?!! I mean we-we told Joey, he cried his eyes out!
Joey: But I got to act with a robot Pheebs, and-and I dont know anything about technology! I cant even use Chandlers computer except to find porn! And-and thats only cause its right there when you turn it on!
Roger: Did I, uh, did I miss something?
Chandler: Oh, yes, could I have one of those. (Points)
Rachel: Nice? They were nice. I mean, that's it? I mean, mittens are nice.
Chandler: No, she's still upset because I saw her boobies.
Joey: Rachel... let's be clear on this, ok? I do not love Hugsy. I like him a normal amount...
Roger: You're so funny! He's really funny! I wouldn't wanna be there when when the laughter stops.
Chandler: Nothing, Monica and I had a stupid fight.
Mr. Tribbiani: Gotta go. I miss you too, I love you, but it's getting real late now
Monica: No, I havent.
Chandler: Okay, I went over to Ross' apartment to bring back Clunkers. Yknow, for you, and (Clears his throat) I left the door open and she must have gotten out and I looked everywhere, all over the apartment, including the roof, which FYI Ross, one of your neighbors, growing weed. I couldn't find him, and I am so, so, so, sorry. But I do know where we could all go ease the pain. (Points up and then over to the street)
Ross: Why? Why would I why? Why? Why? Why?
Chandler: Y'know, I don't see that happening?
Ross: Nonono, thatthat's not what I was saying...
Roger: I dunno. Maybe you wanted your marriage to fail.
Chandler: (browsing through a diary) Uh, let's see, who do I hate?
Joey: Come on. Come on. Alright, ready, look! (in a low voice) Oh... Ross.... you get me so hot. I want your lips on me now.
Phoebe: Écoutez, je vais vous dire la vérité. C'est mon petit frère. Il est un peu retardé. (Translation: Listen, I will tell you the truth. He's my little bother. He's a bit retarded.)
RACHEL: Ohh, I'm gonna have to get over it. God, see I didn't know that's I had to do, I just have to get over it.
Chandler: You dont think Ive tried? You think I like having 50 dollars taken out of my bank account every month? No, they make you go all the way down there! Then they use all of these phrases and peppiness to try and confuse you! Then they bring out Maria.
Joey: Oh uh, can I give you a hand?
Mr. Tribbiani: I don't want you taking that thing.
Joey: All right, turn around, I got to get a look at this thing.
Chandler: (sarcastically) Oh, come on tell me. I could use another reason why women won't look at me.
Mr. Tribbiani: I can't do that!
Joey: I don't wanna hear it! Now go to my room!
Chandler: Cry?! I just found a talking puppy, Im rich!
Rachel: Uh well, I guess Im not gonna miss the fact that youre never allowed to move the phone pen. (Laughs. Monica lags behind the laugh a little bit.)
Joey: (To Rachel) Hey, I was pretty close. (She just glares at him.) Uhh, so bad news. Umm, I cant buy the boat, I dont have any money.