words in movies
Joey: Hey Ross, check this out! (he tries to spin a basketball on his fingertip but he throws it against a table) yeah, I can't do that!
Ross: No... I already e-mailed her.
Chandler: Let me see what you wrote about yourself: "Doctor Paleontology, two kids... " (pause) You split with Carol because you have different interests?... I think you split with Carol because you've one very similar interest!
Chandler: Maybe we finish this for him! (he sits down on the sofa and he start typing on Ross' computer) "Also I cloned a dinosaur in my lab. She's now my girlfriend. I don't care what society says. It's the best sex I've ever had"... aaand SEND!
Ross: I think you made it clear you cannot be trusted with the ball inside the house!
Rachel: She was just crawling around and she found him, so I just let her sleep with him. That's all right? Isn't it?
Joey: (still very puzzled) Oh, yeah... of course... yeah... it's a stuffed animal... you know... it's for kids... not for adults... I know that!
Rachel: Joey... are you sure? I mean, I know how much you love him!
Joey: Rachel... let's be clear on this, ok? I do not love Hugsy. I like him a normal amount...
Phoebe: Breaking up sucks! Oh, I really miss Mike!
Phoebe: Oh God, I tried everything to make myself feel better. I even tried writing a song about it... but... I can't think of anything that rhymes with AARRGGHH!! (pause) Hey Monica, I really need your help getting through this...
Phoebe: Well no, when I get to the point where... you know... I'm ready to hear cruel mocking jokes about Mike... I'm gonna come to you.
Phoebe: Ok. I mean I know I did the right thing. You know, Mike never wants to get married and I shouldn't be in a relationship that has no future... but... pretty soon I'm gonna miss him so much. I'm gonna wanna see him again and you have to stop me from doing that.
Phoebe: (after a pause) Unless... Maybe it's too crazy about this... Alright so... you know, there is no future... but that doesn't mean we still can't have fun. You know what? Forget what I said.
Ross: (yelling at Chandler) I have sex with dinosaurs??
Chandler: I believe I read that somewhere!
Chandler: I respectfully disagree.
Ross: I can't believe you put that on my alumni page!
Ross: You'd better hope not because I just read what you put on your page today.
Chandler: I don't have a page.
Ross: Oh oh oh! I RESPECTFULLY DISAGREE!!
Rachel: (threatening Joey with a scrunchy): Step away from the crib, I have a weapon!
Joey: Well, I heard Emma stirring, so I came to make sure she could reach Hugsy.
Chandler: Because I told everyone he slept with dinosaurs.
Monica: (On the phone) Hello? No, he's not here. Yeah, this is his wife. Yeah, well, it came as quite a shock to me too. I guess I should have known. Yeah, I mean, he just kept making me watch Moulin Rouge.
Ross: Posting that I died? That really isn't funny.
Chandler: You wanna talk about people's feelings? You should have heard how hurt professor Stern was yesterday when I told him I wouldn't be able to go with him to Key West!
Phoebe: God, I wish Mike were here.
Phoebe: I gotta call him. Just to talk to him, there's no harm in that.
Monica: Phoebe, that's how it starts. I don't need to eat the cake, I'll just smell the icing... why don't I just eat a little sliver, or, okay, just a slice or two. And next thing you know, you're 210 pounds and you get wedged in going down the tunnel slide. Phoebe, honey, I know this is hard. Look, if you talk to him, you're going to wanna see him. And if you see him, you're going to want to get back together with him. I know that's not what you want. (pause) Give me your phone.
Joey: No, no, Emma has one Hugsy, the new Hugsy, huh? The other Hugsy, I don't know, I guess I'll just take it back.
Rachel: Oh you know what? When I was a little girl I had a little pink pony named Cotton. Oh I loved her so much, I took her everywhere, I would braid her tail...
Rachel: Should I be concerned that a button fell off the old Hugsy and I can't find it?
Joey: Oh, no don't worry about that, I swallowed that years ago.
Rachel: Oh, I don't think she likes the new Hugsy.
Rachel: Yeah, I think she wants the old one back.
Phoebe: Monica, I really appreciate you checking in on me, but I'm actually feeling a lot better. Yeah, I just kinda want to be alone right now.
Phoebe: I ordered Chinese food.
Phoebe: I'm sorry, I broke down... I wanted to see him.
Mike: Look, if I wanna see Phoebe and she wants to see...
Mike: Oh! Sorry, I guess I was thrown off by the mention of my name!
Monica: You know, on the way over here, I saw this drunk guy throw up. And then a pigeon ate it!
Chandler: Hey, Ross, I just wanted to apologize... (looks at laptop screen)..don't tell me you actually made those gay pictures of me?
Chandler: Huh! So that's what I would look like if I worked out... and was being serviced by a policeman. You're not actually going to send these out are ya?
Ross: Eh..actually no, I don't need to because your little "Ross is dead" joke didn't work, ok, there were no responses. Nobody posted anything on the website, nobody called my parents, so the joke my friend is on you. Nobody called, nobody wrote anything, nobody cares that I'm dead. (silence) Oh my God! Nobody cares that I'm dead!?
Ross: What are you talking about? You get sixty responses just for coming out of the closet! I didn't get one response! And I'm dead!
Ross: I can't believe this. Not even my geology lab partner? And I carried that guy! (gets up from his sofa)
Chandler: Right, I mean, come on, I'm sure that if you had a funeral or a memorial service, tons of people would come.
Joey: Alright!! Fine! It's original Hugsy! No, now I know that Emma wants him but he's mine and I need him..
Rachel: Oh yeah! But you know what? If you need Hugsy, don't worry. Emma will totally understand. I won't... but whatever (She leaves the room).
Joey: Ok, wait wait wait wait a minute wait a minute, I mean Rach, I mean if if... . If Hugsy means that much to Emma then... well she can have him.
Rachel: Oooh... you're sweet, I knew uncle Joey would step up. (Turns to face Emma in the the playpen) Look Emma, look who's baaack!
Joey: Look forget it forget it... I can't do it.
Joey: How do you think I got him in the first place?
Monica: Alright you two, I'm gonna go to the bathroom. Now I don't want anything going on while I'm gone. Here's a few things you can discuss: mucus, fungus and the idea of me and Ross doing it.
Mike: I've missed you so much! No, I'm not gonna ask you to get back together because I know we want different things, but just to be with you one more night.
Phoebe: I know, I want that too, but IS that going to make it too hard?
Mike: It can't be any harder than this... I mean, If I had known the last time I saw you would be the last time, I... I would have stopped to memorize your face, the way you move, everything about you. If I had known the last time I kissed you would have been the last time... I never would have stopped.
Monica: Didn't you hear that speech? If you don't kiss him then I will!
Phoebe: Oh, I missed you so much! (she kisses Mike)
Strange man: (he bounds into the house) I knew you'd be here!
Mike: My friend Manny. I asked him to keep me away from you.
Monica: Hey, at least I knew where my guy was.
Manny: Oh we blew it. I blame myself.
Monica: And I blame you too.
Ross: It's been an hour and not one of my classmates has shown up! I tell you, when I actually die some people are gonna get seriously haunted!
Tom: Hi, you're Chandler Bing, right? I'm Tom Gordon, I was in your class.
Ross: I don't remember him, but then again I touched so many lives. (they press their ears against the door)
Tom: Oh, actually I barely knew him. Yeah, I came because I heard Chandler's news. D'you know if he's seeing anyone?
Tom: What? You... You... Oh! Can I ask you a personal question? Ho-how do you shave your beard so close?
Monica: I look like a man??
Ross: Yes, you're right. Still somebody must have seen it... I mean, I went to that school for 4 years, I didn't have an impact on anyone?
Chandler: Oh, that's not true. You had an impact on me, I mean, it's 15 years later and we're still best friends. Doesn't that count for something?
Kori: I can't believe that Ross is gone. It is just so sad.
Chandler: I didn't know Ross and you were so close.
Kori: We weren't but we had one class together. He was such a great guy and he talked so passionately about science. I always remembered him.
Kori: I thought so many times about calling him and asking him out. I guess I really missed my chance.
Ross: (he bounds into the lounge room) But you didn't! I'm still alive!! Kori, I know this is a big surprise for you. It's a long story but the things you just said really made my day! I mean, the fact that you are here means more to me than if this room were filled with people!
Kori: You sick freak, who does that? I can't believe I had a crush on you! (she leaves and slams the door behind her)
Ross: (on the phone) No Mum, I'm not dead. I know it's not something to kid about. It was just a practical joke between Chandler and me, but it's over, ok? (pause) Actually no, even if I had died, you would not be left childless. (pause) Monica?
Ross: Oh, (he goes towards Mike in order to shake hands but Mike hugs him) hey, oh... I... I was-I was going for a hand shake.
MONICA: I can't believe you're dressing up for him. I mean, you're just, you're setting yourself up all over again.
MONICA: Ok, thanks for coming, I hope you guys had fun.
MONICA: You heard the woman. Peel, chop, devil! I can't believe I lost 2 minutes.
MRS. GREENE: I think I saw Rachel out in the hall.
CHANDLER: I, I know. [Hugs her. Ross walks out and Chandler puts her in his arms.]
Fun Bobby: Hey, sorry I'm late. But my, uh, grandfather, he- died about two hours ago. But I-I-I couldn't get a flight out 'til tomorrow, so here I am!
MONICA: Oh, I ordered mine first.
Phoebe: It's okay, I mean she had a really incredible life. And it's not like I'm never gonna see her again, y'know she's gonna visit.
PHOEBE: Oh all right, then I guess we're going back into the hallway.
Paul: I know, I know, I'm such an idiot. I guess I should have caught on when she started going to the dentist four and five times a week. I mean, how clean can teeth get?
PHOEBE: Oh ok, Ryan, that guy I went out with, who's in the Navy.
MONICA: Honey, you made the bed again. I told you, you don't have to do that. This isn't camp.
ROSS: Well because I have to work on Monday, I have a big presentation.
MONICA: If I tell you, you'll think I'm crazy.
CHANDLER: I just think it's weird, you know? Heckles and me, Heckles, and me, me and Heckles...Would you knock it off?
RICHARD: Actually, if it's possible, I love you more.
Monica: All right thats it, I give up! Whatever you want you can have it! You wanna sing a song? You wanna do a dance? You want your mom stand at the Alter and scream racial slurs? I dont care!
Joey: I dunno. Some fat guy's sleeping with the store manager. He's not even jolly, it's all political.
Chandler: Y'know what, I think we can go out there. I mean they have more important things to worry about.
Ross: That may be the most depressing thing Ive heard in my life. I should probably get these to my lawyers office.
JOEY: Oh yeah yeah. I process. People want the processing, I'm the one they call.
PHOEBE: I, I, I'm hideous.
RYAN: Can I please see your face?
PHOEBE: Well, no no, you have to stay back. I, I have the pox.
PHOEBE: Yeah, or you know, you could just wish that I didn't have them now.
Ross: Look Rachel, I wanted to tell you, I thought I should, I-I did, and then Chandler and Joey convinced me not to.
Frank: Oh come on we went, we went to Time Square, we found ninja stars, I almost got arm broken by a hooker...
PHOEBE: No. This is what I do for luck, ok.
Lydia: Hey, Knick fan, am I interested in your views on fatherhood? Uh, no.
Monica: Congratulations, I think youve found the worlds thinnest argument.
Rachel: I know. (Pause) Ross still sees his pediatrician!!! (To Ross) I don't care!
Monica: What?! I didn't take care of everything, there's-there's plenty of things for you to do!
JOEY: This company was not built on rough numbers. Am I right Mr. Douglas.
Joey: Home sweet home, huh? Nice to, uh, get back to reality. Plus we know how the New Years gonna go off. I guess theres no reason for all that Y2K panic, yknow? Anyway, gnight!
RICHARD: Well, I'm confused. I thought we shared time.
Chandler: Hey, you know what you can do? I remember reading about this director, I think it was Orson Wells, who at the beginning of the movie would hire somebody, just so he could fire them in front of everybody. Then they would all know, whos boss.
Doug: No-no, I heard what you said, funny. I like funny. (Chandler starts to leave) This team is about hard work, but its also about having fun. Good to have you aboard Bing! (smacks him on the butt, and Chandler leaves shocked.)
RICHARD: Boy I would just uh, I would freak out.
MONICA: You would not. I can't believe this. I hate this, you're too normal. I can't believe my boyfriend doesn't have a thing. My boyfriend doesn't have a thing.
Phoebe: Well, they said that I had to think about it first, but what is there to think about? Im gonna be giving them the greatest gift you can possibly give.
FBOB: Well, anyway, I hope we can be friends.
PHOEBE: Can I please take these off? I swear I won't scratch.
Chandler: Aww, we were worried about you! Hm. I guess I better get used to things crapping in my hand, huh?
RYAN: Oh, I spilled some.
PHOEBE: I got it. [Wipes it up with her mits.]
JOEY: I don't feel like talkin.
RICHARD: I thought of a thing.
RYAN: [Puts his hands over Phoebe's ears.] I must tell you, you look beautiful tonight.
RACHEL: Hey, it's not that big a deal, I was just curious.
Rachel: On Melanie Griffith in "Working girl". I think what you want is over here.
RICHARD: Or so I would have you believe.
RICHARD: Yeah. I have to sleep, have to, on this side of the bed.
Phoebe: Oh, this is terrible. Oh, theyve made so many changes I cant even feel my grandmothers presence anymoreOoh! New sconces!
RYAN: I can't say.
RYAN: I really can't say.
JOEY: Nice, nice. Hey I got somethin' for you. [hands Chandler an envelope.
RYAN: I'm sorry, but I can't say.
MONICA: Cause I already invited her.
Chandler: Can I come a little bit closer, valuable things are getting squished...
Joey: Well. I guess you think youre pretty special huh? Sittin up here in your fancy small hall building. Makin stars jump through hoops for ya, huh? Well yknow what? (Throws the script away) This is one star whos hoop This is a star that the hoopthis hoopI was Dr. Drake Remoray!
Rachel: All right, you know what? I am not leaving here, until you call that plane back!! (She pounds her hand on the counter twice. The ticket agent counters by placing the closed sign on the counter and tapping it twice.)
Chandler: I walk into a room and he wont even talk to me, he just mumbles something in Italian. And I know he only knows the bad words.
Ross: (speaking without pause, agitated) Oh yeah? Yeah? I wonder why? What could that smarmy letch possibly want?
JOEY: Come on, I need your help here.
RICHARD: Well, I mean what can I say? I, I was married to Barbara for 30 years. She was my high school sweetheart, now you, that's two.
JOEY: Then I don't know what it is. What's the problem?
Joey: The ones that got me the Porsche! Will you keep up! (Chandler wipes his forehead with a baby wipe, that might have been used. He drops it disgustedly.) But I figured, if-if people keep seeing me just standing there, theyre gonna start to think that I dont own it. So I figured Ill wash it. Right? Monica, you got a bucket and some soap I can borrow?
Ross: (pause) Yes I would.
Phoebe: I can't believe you... (holding up Joey's cardigan) ..did this.
Monica: (as Rachel) Yeah... (joining the others) ..see, I was supposed to get married, but, um, I left the guy at the altar.
CHANDLER: I may have.
[They go into the apartment. Inside the apartment it looks like a sewage dump exploded and landed in her living room. There are clothes and food and junk covering every square inch of space. I mean pigs have nicer pens. Ross is completely shocked.]
RICHARD: I love you, too.
RICHARD: Oh, yeah, I don't like you this way. All right, I'll see you guys later.
MONICA: Bye sweetie, (kisses him) I love you.
Joey: Hey-hey-hey-hey, I can help you decide who should do it! Yeah, we could have like uh, like an audition and see how youd handle maid of honor type situations.
Phoebe: Yeah! Well, I really liked that Lamaze class I took! Y'know and this time I thought I'd go for something, y'know a little more intellectual, with a less painful final exam.
Monica: Let me think. Oh, when I was younger I used to dream that I got married to Mayor McCheese, and on our wedding night I ate his head.
Monica: Okay, I feel like Im talking to Lassie. All right, Phoebe would you just tell me!
RICHARD: Sure I do.
MONICA: Yeah, am I in it?
Rachel: Oh! I see. And I've sort of been maintaining my amateur status so that I can waitress in the Olympics.
RICHARD: Look I want you, now.
Joey: Yeah, of course. I can control myself. (laughs uneasily and Sarah leaves the room)
CHANDLER: I'm afraid I might just be.
CHANDLER: I can't believe she's married.
Ross: (entering) Okay, that's it. I cannot make this decision! It is too difficult, so I'm just gonna leave it entirely to the gods of fate. (He holds up and starts shaking a )
RICHARD: Neither am I.
JOEY: OK, uh.... listen, there's something I want to talk to you about. The network casting lady...
Rachel: All right look lady here is the deal, I came here for an annulment and I am not leaving here until I get one!
Phoebe: Hey! Umm, well, only okay because I just got back from, from the hospital.
RACHEL: God I know, you're right.
Rachel: Oh, I don't know. I guess it's not about no guys, it's about the right guy, y'know? I mean, with Barry, it was safe and it was easy, but there was no heat. With Paolo, that's all there was, was heat! And it was just this raw, animal, sexual...
PHOEBE: I know. Oh, like you would drink her coffee after what you did to her with Van Damme.
Rachel: Um, ok, uh, oh god, um, when you and uh Ross first started going out, it was really hard for me, um, for many reasons, which I'm not gonna bore you with now, but um, I just, I see how happy he is, you know, and how good you guys are together, and um, Monica's always saying how nice you are, and god I hate it when she's right.
RACHEL: I know.
ROSS: Rach, hey look, I remember that, it wasn't so bad.
Emily: (Yelling from inside the bathroom) Youve spoiled everything! Its like a nightmare! My friends and family are out there! How can I face them?! How can you do this to me?!
MR. WINEBURG: I tell ya a lot things!