words in movies
Ross: Hey you guys I got some bad news. (He sets the stack of papers down on the table.)
Ross: No, Monicas restaurant got a horrible review in the Post. (They all gasp.) I didnt want her to see it, so I ran around the neighborhood and bought all the copies I could find. (He hands the paper to Phoebe and they all read it.)
Joey: Man, this is bad! And Ive had my share of bad reviews. I still remember my first good one though. (Quoting) "Everything else in this production of Our Town was simply terrible. Joey Tribbiani was abysmal."
Chandler: Im so sorry.
Monica: Im so humiliated!
Rachel: I didnt write it.
Monica: Is he right? Am I reallyAm I awful?
Joey: Yeah! Yeah Monica! You listen to me, okay? And Im not just saying this because Im your friend, Im sayin it cause its the truth. Youre food is abysmal!
Rachel: I am freaking out!
Ross: Okay look, I had a lot of water before I went to bed. Can we do this after
Rachel: Im serious.
Ross: (interrupting her) Okay. Okay. If uh, if youre gonna do this, then Im gonna do that. (Points to the bathroom.) So (Starts for the bathroom.)
Rachel: (stopping him) Oh, wait Ross! Im sorry, one more thing!
Rachel: Umm, our situation. Yknow umm, what we mean to each other. And I mean we-were having this baby together, and we live together. Isnt that, isnt that weird?
Rachel: Im just kidding! You can go pee! (He does so in a hurry.)
Joey: (entering) Hey uh Monica, I cant remember. Did we say we were gonna meet here or at the movies?
Joey: Okay, Ill see you there. (Starts to leave)
Joey: Sure, I can hang out til I have to meet ya. (To Chandler) What uhHow come youre not going?
Chandler: I have a job interview I have to get ready for.
Joey: I thought you already have a job.
Chandler: Thats what I do now.
Monica: Remember that guy that gave me a bad review? Well (Feeds him a spoonful of what shes cooking.) Im getting my revenge!
Monica: No. He teaches a course on food criticism at the New School, so before we go to the movies I wanna go by there and make him try my bouillabaisse again. Oh, I cannot wait to read the front page of the Post tomorrow! "Restaurant reviewer admits: I was wrong about Monica."
Ross: We are having a baby together, but were not involved. (The cashier, a very beautiful woman, looks confused) I mean, uh we-we were seeing each other a while ago, but then we were just friends. And then there was one drunken night. (Rachel looks at him angrily) Or, yes stranger, wed like this delivered please.
Cashier: I notice you picked out a lot of our dinosaur items.
Ross: I chose those, Im a paleontologist.
Rachel: Oh. Oh yeah, dont get to worked up over it. I mean it-it sounds like hes a doctor, but hes not.
Cashier: Oh no-no, Im fascinated by paleontology. Have you read the new Walter Alvarez book?
Rachel: Oh my God! Im standing at a cash register, holding a credit card, and Im bored.
Cashier: (looking at the completed address card) Oh, I love your neighborhood. Theres a great gym right around the corner from your building.
Cashier: I can tell you work out. (Ross is please and Rachel looks at him confused.) A paleontologist who works out, youre like Indiana Jones. (Rachel has a disbelieving look on her face.)
Ross: I am like Indiana Jones.
Rachel: No! Im not! I-I-I just think its wrong! Its-its that ImHere I am about to pop and hes out picking up some shop girl at Sluts R Us!
Chandler: Well, I got a job interview. Its kinda a big deal too. Its a lot more money and Id be doing data reconfiguration and statistical factoring.
Phoebe: Wait, I think I know someone who does that.
Chandler: Me! I do that. So Seriously, do I look okay? Im little nervous.
Phoebe: Yes, when I first met you, you were like, "Blah, blah, blah." I was like, shhh!
Chandler: What is it that I do?
Rachel: Chandler, Im not gonna lie to ya, but I am gonna run away from you. (Gets up and hurries out.)
Monica: Hi! Umm, Im Monica Geller, Im the chef at Alessandros.
Monica: I think the things that you said about me are really unfair, and I would like for you to give my bouillabaisse another chance.
The Food Critic: I dont see any reason why I would do that to myself again.
The Food Critic: Im torn, between my integrity and my desire to avoid a beating. But I must be honest, your soap is abysmal. (Throws down the spoon and walks out.)
Monica: I can.
Katie: Well, the delivery went out to you and I realized they forgot this. (A blanket.)
Katie: Oh uh I actually came here to ask you out.
Ross: Oh! Wow! Uh, yeah! That sounds great. Im just gonna put this (The money) back in my pocket, pretend that didnt happen. Uh yeah, actually Im free now. Do you wanna grab some coffee or
Ross: (To Katie) Yeah, Im just gonna grab my coat. And uh, and my whip. (Katie looks worried.) Yknow because of the Indiana Jones? (Katie laughs) Not-not because Im-Im into S&M. (Katies worried again.) Im not-Im not into anything weird. Yknow? Just-just normal sex. (Katie is uncomfortable.) So, Im gonna grab my coat. (Does so, leaving Katie and Rachel alone.)
Katie: Oh umm, actually I umm
Rachel: Oh okay, I see what youre doing there.
Chandler: I cant even believe this! I really come off that badly?
Chandler: Oh good. Good, because Im sure this interview is gonna last a couple of weeks.
Phoebe: I cant help you.
Phoebe: All right, all right, well just do our best. Okay? So lets say Im the interviewer and Im meeting you for the first time. Okay. "Hi! Come on in, Im uh, Regina Philange."
Chandler: Well you should meet my uncle, Bada. (Pause) Ill let myself out.
Monica: Oh no! I dont know anything about cooking. I had to ask someone what its called when the, when the water makes those little bubbles.
Monica: I-I-Im sorry, your-your mouth was full, I didnt hear what you said. Umm, hats off to who now?
Chandler: I think youll find if I come to work here, I dont micro-manage. I dont shy away from delegating.
Chandler: (suppressing a smile) What I do do is manage to uh, create an atmosphere of support for the people working with me.
Phoebe: I see. Nice sidestep on the do do thing by the way.
Chandler: Hardest thing Ive ever done in my life.
Monica: Wow! A star! (The class glares at her.) I know you all hate me and-and Im sorry, but I dont care.
Joey: I can an A? In-in school? (To Joey) Hey, Im a dork.
Monica: Joey! Im so proud of you!
The Cooking Teacher: I think you should give him your star.
Monica: I do! Im a professional chef! (The class gasps.) Oh relax! Its not a courtroom drama!
Monica: Im-Im sorry, its just that umm Well I-I cook at this restaurant, Alessandros, and umm I just got a really bad review
The Cooking Teacher: Oh Alessandros! I love that place!
Monica: Oh, Im totally crazy, but you-you like the food?
Monica: Okay then, I dont stink. Im a good chef. Okay. (Starts to leave.)
Joey: Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! I dont want to go. Im having fun.
Chandler: also I was the point person on my companys transition from the KL-5 to GR-6 system.
Chandler: That I did. That I did.
Chandler: (trying not to laugh) I see.
Chandler: No dont I beg of you!
The Interviewer: All right then, well have a definite answer for you on Monday, but I think I can say with some confidence, youll fit in well here.
Chandler: Yeah I gotta say thank you, I was really nervous. Yknow Ive been told I come on to strong, make to many jokes, and then it was really hard to sidestep that duty thing. (The interviewer doesnt understand) Duties. (Still doesnt.) Duties! (Still doesnt.) Poo. (Still doesnt.)
Chandler: Ill look forward to your call. (Walks away.)
Rachel: Im fine, but thats not important. Whats important is how was she?
Rachel: No! No, shesShe was nice. I mean, shes a little slutty, but who isnt?
Ross: I liked her.
Rachel: I dont want you to date her!
Rachel: Yes! And not because I want you to go out with me, but because I dont want you to go out with anybody! Okay? I know its a terrible thing to even think this, and its completely inappropriate, but I want you to be at my constant beck and call 24 hours a day! Im very sorry, but that is just the way that I feel.
Ross: I wont date. Ill uh, Ill be here, with you, all the time.
Rachel: Really? But Im being so unreasonable.
Rachel: No, not really. Youre pressing the baby into my bladder and now I have to pee. Sorry. (She gets up and starts for the bathroom.)
Ross: We live together. Youre having our baby. Im not gonna see anybody else. Are you-are you sure you dont want something more?
Rachel: (pause) Wow! I dont know, maybe. Im
Ross: Oh-oh, Rach! I was just messin around! (Shes stunned) Like you did last night when I had to pee?
Rachel: (laughs) I knew that! I knew that! I was just messin with you too!
Rachel: No thats just(Laughs)Thats just cause Im such a good messer!
Joey: Well I had a great time! Learned how to bake, ate great food, thats the first A Ive gotten since seventh grade, and I didnt have to sleep with the teacher this time.
Earl: No! Thats just the "Hey Guy" guy. He says that to everybody! Hes the worst! Id like to take him with me!
Rachel: Okay. 'Cause this is where I wanna be, okay? No more messing around. I don't wanna mess this up again.
Phoebe: No! Im not finished yet! Dont! Dont you dare hang up on me!!!
Ross: (on the phone) No-no-no, it's just a bit sudden. (Listens) No, it's great. Okay? I'm totally on board. I love you too, all righty. Bye. (Hangs up.)
Earl: Okay, I should, I should probably be getting back to my thing now. See ya. (Hangs up.)
Joey: In the dream I did enjoy the closeness.
Rachel: (stands up) Wow! Oh-okay, look pal, I am not in the mood to be hit on right now! But if you give me your number I will call you some other time.
Ross: What? No! No! I am not gonna hide it from PhoebeOoh, although I did get some great Pottery Barn sheets! (Gets them.)
Ross: Oh, I dont know how that got in there.
Phoebe: (muffled through the floor) Yeah, look I was with my friend downstairs and we hear everything up here that you do, and I am sick and tired... (I tired but the rest is unintelligible).
Mr. Geller: Im afraid so.
Ross: Okay, all right, Ill take you. Ill go call Joan. (Does so.)
Monica: (yelling at the top of her lungs) Im engaged!!!!!! Im engaged!!!!
Monica: I cant believe this! (Storms out.)
Mr. Geller: (To Ross) Screw it! Im having one. (Takes out and lights a cigarette.)
Tag: Okay! Feel free to look, but Im telling you those contracts are not on this desk.
MONICA: For the sixteenth time, no... I do not think you're obsessive.
Rachel: I don't know! I mean, we still care about each other. There's a history there. 'S'like you and Carol.
Rachel: Well, its a long story, but umm I broke Joeys chair
Rachel: (to the gang) Oh my God, Melissa Warburton. I dont think I have the energy for this.
Hums While He Pees: Me too! Im sorry that guy in the subway licked your neck.
Rachel: Ross, I am trying to help her become a better person. This is a huge breakthrough for her! She just offered to do something for another human being!!
Chandler: I think I should get the chair!
Chandler: So Joey breaks my chair and I get nothing!
Marge: Sorry, I dont know any Earl.
Earl: (screaming) Im right here!!!!
Phoebe: No-no I cant! I cant let you do it!
Phoebe: (goes over to his desk) Earl! Im Phoebe.
Phoebe: I can smell it a little, bake the pie.
Joey: Sure! I would love to wait with you guys! Thanks! (Sits down.)
Joey: But it is a big deal!! I have to tell someone!
Earl: Im actually the office manager.
Phoebe: Well, yknow Im wearing layers and its warm.
Ross: All right. I think it was a mouse.
Ross: Well, were all here! I guess we should get going!
Chandler: Hey, I had a terrible childhood and I dont do porn.
Joey: She made me switch to light Mayo. Thats it! Thats all I got! And, you know what? It tastes the same and my pants fit better!
Phoebe: No! I definitely don't wanna get married. No I just wanted to make sure you didn't want to too. Whew! Coz you know when we move in and you start changing your mind there's gonna be hell to pay mister!
Monica: Hey, I just whipped us up some Easy Bake treats, they should be ready in about three days.
Joey: I'm sorry! (He stands up) This never happened to me before! I'm an expert at taking off bras! I can do it with one hand! I can do it with my eyes closed! One time I just looked at one, and it popped open! I blame your bra!
Monica: Are you crazy?! We own those two! I mean look at 'um, he can't breath and she's popping pills.
Chandler: Are you kidding? Okay, Ill give you a hint; Ill give you a hint. (Points to his glasses.)
Rachel: Well, can I keep the presents and still be 29?
Joey: Ross good, I'm uh glad you're here. I wanna talk to you about something.
Chandler: Okay look, don't...don't be mad okay? But after I unpacked the boxes I wanted to do something nice for you, so, I-I-I cleaned the apartment. So I moved everything around and then I forgot where it, where it went back and I'm sorry, I'm very sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Rachel: Hi! I just want to apologize. Im really sorry I was a baby.
Ross: Look, I didn't recognize it without that inflatable sheep.
Earl: I thought it was toner.
Joey: No! No! No Pheebs, Im not gonna yell at you. I just yknow, started thinking about you and David and I remember how bummed you were the first time he left. And I just Oh Pheebs, come here. (He hugs her.) Are you okay?
Chandler: Well, I was trying to prove that I was right. Yknow? And it turns out I was wrong. And now its lodged in my throat. (Mimics a cat trying to cough up a hairball.) (He does it again.)
The Woman: Hi! Im sorry, I know its after hours but I really need candy.
Ross: How hot do I look in this, huh?!
Rachel: Nothing. I dont want to do anything.
CHANDLER: What if I never find someone? Or worse, what if I've found her, but I dumped her because she pronounced it "supposably"?
Monica: So I don't have to sing and I can just sit there and pass judgments on others?
Frank: Well y'know about the tongue thing, y'know, and how I told you about my likes and my dislikes...
Joey: How could this happen to me?! Yesterday I had two TV shows! Today, I got nothin!
Monica: I cant believe you bought this.
Monica: No! No-no! He is totally incompetent. I called the chef who recommended him to me. He said, "Ha-ha! Gotcha!"
Ross: (giddy) I dont know, but-but look how shiny!
Rachel: I mean he was possessive, he was jealous, he could never just let the little things go!
Tag: Look Rachel, I know what youre going through. Im totally freaked about turning 25.
Joey: Yeah, but uh, I dont want to be up too late, so uh, Ill have a decaf.
JOEY: Well, I had a whole ceramic zoo thing goin' over there but now, without the other ones, it just looks tacky.
Paul: Dont worry about it, I just didnt realize you were married. (Rachel returns and hears that.)
Chandler: I know, And then all of the sudden your Mom pops into your head. And your like 'Mom, get outta here!' You know, but of course, like, after that you can't possibly think of anything else, and you can't, you know, stop what your doing. So it's kinda like, you're, you know. You know...(Ross just stares at him). You don't know!
Chandler: (getting up to investigate) Okay, everybody stay here. I will find out whats going on.
Rachel: (entering) Hey! Everybody hide! Hide! I saw her! Shes coming!
Monica: Okay. I love you so much. (Kisses him.)
Chandler: Yeah, Ill take care of it.
Phoebe: Oh thats all right. Im still full from your homemade potato chips.
Monica: Okay. I can do that.
Ross: She wants me to take responsibility for everything that went wrong in our relationship. I mean she goes on for five pages about, about how I was unfaithful to her! (Both Joey and Chandler shrug their shoulders as to say Well...) (yelling) WE WERE ON A BREAK!!!!!
Chandler: (sounds nervous) Yeah! I... I... I liked it! (Joey continues to look at him suspiciously) But, ehm... my bosses didn't go for it. Stupid sons of bitches!
Ursula: Yeah, I got a big box of family stuff when my mom died.
Phoebe: No, I just feel like being by myself for a while. All right? Ill see you guys later. Thanks. (Gets up and exits.)
Phoebe: Well, I never knew mine. Do you remember what it is?
Phoebe: I just lost a whole year of my life.
Phoebe: No, Im just deciding which one to useIm gonna start writing another book!
Ross: Well yes, yes I have. In fact umm, just the other day Kristen and I were talking about how Ive been married and how I have a son.
Phoebe: Yay! I love drunk Monica!
Richard: Uh, no! No! Thats art! If it bothers you I can put my art out.
Ross: Look, I (He has trouble sitting in his chair.) Look, Im having a great time with you and I just dont want us to move to fast or put to much pressure on us. So, Im sorry I just dont think we should go away together yet. Its-its too soon.
Rachel: No! No-no, I love it. Thank you. (Kisses him.)
JOEY: Aww, Rach, I think you look cute (kisses her on the cheek, then looks at Ross) And you, uh, you, you I could eat with a spoon (goes to kiss him).
Rachel: Ooh... oooh... (pause) (Rachel is all bah-jiggity about Joey) oh, ah... (pause) (to Monica) Can I ask you a question?
Rachel: As I was saying I should probably have the first of the three kids by the time Im 35 which gives me five years. I love this plan! I wanna marry this plan!
Monica: I dont know! Time to kiss a guy maybe?! (Ross laughs.) What are you laughing at Pampers? (He stops laughing and glares at her.)
Phoebe: If you could do that, Id marry the hippity-hop.
Monica: Yeah, tacos! Ever since you told me that story Ive had such a craving for them.
Ross: I really wish that you wouldnt.
Joey: (to the waiter) Hey! Are those crab cakes? (The waiter nods) Did I not tell ya to come straight to me when more crab cakes were ready?
Ross: Hey Gunther, can I get a couple of blueberry muffins to go? (He puts a bag with diapers in it on the counter.)
Mrs. Geller: Oh-ho, I think its nice.
Ross: Okay, Im sorry, this is insane! I-I-Im not addicted to heroin, Im not gay, and there is no problem with my ability to consummate anything! Look, Ill consummate this marriage right here, right now!
Phoebe: I lost a whole year! I cant believe it! This is so unfair!
Joey: Oh, I dont know Pheebs. Itll be okay.
Phoebe: Will it? Will it?! I mean, how would you feel if you found out you were 31?
Monica: Yknow, lets face it, Im not a kid anymore! I-I need to be with someone who-who wants the same things that I do! I mean coming to my place of work and telling me that you love me, I want that! Talking about pig sex over lunch, I dont want that!
MNCA: Abso...[swallows hard]...lutely. See, I love creating new recipes. I love Thanksgiving. And, well, now, I love Mockolate.