words in movies
Ross: Listen, I-I need a favor. Umm, I was in the shower, and as I was cleansing myself, I ah, I-I, well I felt something.
Ross: No, no, I mean, I mean a thing on my body.
Ross: Well, I don't know, it's-it's kinda in a place that's not... It's not visually accessible to me, and I was hoping maybe you guys could-could help me out. (starts to take off his pants)
Phoebe: (to her date) Okay, and then this is the coffee house. This is where I play my music. (points to the stage)
Chandler: Well, y'know if Joey and I played with matches we could get you up to an even hundred.
Chandler: You're right, I know.
Vince: (to Phoebe) Look, I gotta go. I'm on call tonight. (kisses her) See you Saturday. (leaves)
Rachel: Wow, he's cute, Pheebs! But I thought you just started dating that Kindergarten teacher.
Phoebe: I know, I know! I'm like playing the field. Y'know? Like, juggling two guys, I'm sowing my wild oats. Y'know? Y'know, this kind've like y'know oat-sowin', field-playin' juggler.
Phoebe: Does a dog's lips move when he reads? (Joey makes an `I don't know' face, and looks to Chandler and Rachel, who're also stumped) Okay, no they don't.
Chandler: Y'know what? You should go to my guy, because when I went in there with my third nipple. He just lopped it right off. Y'know? So I guess I'm lucky. I mean not as lucky as people who were born with two nipples.
Monica: I just checked my messages, and he said that when he gets back from Atlanta, we need to talk.
Jason: ...and I know I'll never miss doing it, but I gotta tell you, it's pretty cool knowing that you're making a difference in a kid's life.
Phoebe: That is so great! Oh, I... (sees that a parked car near them has caught on fire) Oh my God!
Phoebe: Well look, if I wanted to see a fireman, I would date one. Okay? (she drags him away)
Monica: (starting to get up) I gotta go water Pete's plants. (stops) Y'know what, if he's gonna break up with me, maybe I won't water his plants.
Chandler: Well, if he's gonna break up with you, maybe Joey and I should water his plants. If y'know what I mean.
Joey: Oh no-no-no-no, I meant Chandler.
Ross: Y'know I have dinner plans!!
Monica: I know.
Monica: I guess that's how.
Pete: I see him, you guys are just the worst hiders ever.
Monica: Ahh, Pete, the other day when you said you needed to talk, umm, just so I know, is it good news or bad news.
Pete: Oh, it's good news. No, it's definitely good news. Hold on a second, I have another call. (clicks his remote) (to his other call) Hey, how's it going?
Pete: Okay, I love you.
Monica: I love you.
All: I love you, love you.
Rachel: Mon you definitely have to make it a theme wedding, and the theme could be, Look how much money weve got! Y'know, I mean you could put, you could put money in-in the invitations! You-you could have like little money place settings. And ah, you could start with a money salad! I mean itll be dry, but people will like it.
Monica: Would you stop? Weve only been going out a couple of weeks, I mean we dont even know if hes gonna propose.
Phoebe: All right. I gotta go. I have break up with Vince.
Phoebe: Yeah, I like Vince a lot, y'know? But, its just Jasons so sensitive, y'know? And in the long run, I think sensitive its just better than having just like a really, really, really nice (pause) butt. (Her eyes glaze over thinking about the butt.) (pause) Jason! Definitely Jason! Okay, wish me luck!
Rachel: OH MY GOD!!! (She holds her hands up in triumph and the gang all look at her.) Sorry, I was just imagining what itd be like to catch the money bouquet.
Phoebe: Wow! I didnt know you guys actually used those.
Phoebe: Umm, wow. This-this isnt gonna be easy. Umm, I dont think we should see each other anymore.
Phoebe: Im sorry.
Vince: No-no its okay. Its just that ah, I thought we had something pretty special here. And y'know I-I felt like you were someone I could finally open up to, and (starts choking up) That theres so much in me I have to share with you yet.
Phoebe: Oh my God, I didnt
Vince: (starting to cry) Im sorry, I cant talk. Im gonna go write in my journal. (walks away)
Phoebe: (to Ross) Im telling you, if you want to take care of that thing, you should go to my herbal guy.
Ross: Thank you, but I want to remove it Pheebs. I dont want to make it savory.
Rachel: (entering) Hi! Okay, dont be mad at me, but I couldnt resist.
Rachel: Yes, and I know that youd say no if he asked you, but Im sorry; how great would you look walking down the aisle in this Donna Carin. (shows her the picture.)
Monica: It is so weird, I know what I said, but uh, this morning, I was lying in bed I was, I was imagining what it would be like to say yes. (Rachel slams the magazine shut in amazement.) I know its a little sudden, and its a little rushed, and its totally not like me to do something like this, but that doesnt mean I cant. Right? I mean Im-Im crazy about Pete, and I know that we want the same things, and when I thought about saying yes, it made me really happy.
Monica: I know. (pause) I need more pie. (goes and gets some)
Phoebe: Hey Mon umm, if you do get married, can I bring two guests?
Phoebe: Well, yeah, because I have to break up with someone, and Okay so Jason is sensitive, (holds up one finger) but now sos Vince (holds up one finger on her other hand) Plus, Vince has the body y'know? (holds up two more fingers on the Vince side) So Its really just about the math.
Guru Saj: I am Guru Saj. (takes the drawer back and replaces)
Ross: Listen, I got to tell you Ive-Ive never been to a guru before, so...
Guru Saj: Well, relax. If it makes you feel better, Ive attended some of the finest medical schools in Central America. Well then, lets take a look at this skin abnormality of yours. (motions to the table) Come on, have a seat. (looks at it) Eeh, huh. As I suspected, its a koondis!
Guru Saj: I dont know, whats a koondis with you? (starts laughing as if that joke was funny, Ross only looks at him, and he stops) Please, lie down! Ive got a sav that oughta shrink that right up.
Ross: I guess its worth a try.
Guru Saj: Oh, I think I see the problem. And Im afraid were gonna have to use a much stronger tool. (Ross gives him a What? look) Love.
Pete: So ah, there was this thing I wanted to talk to you about.
Monica: Oh, right! I completely forgot about that.
Pete: Well ah, Ive been doing a lot of thinking, and I look at my life
Pete: And I feel like Ive conquered the business world, and I feel like Ive conquered the intellectual world, and now I-I have the most beautiful woman in the world.
Pete: Monica, I want to become (pause) the Ultimate Fighting Champion.
Pete: I want to become the Ultimate Fighting Champion! Its the most intense physical competition in the world, its banned in 49 states!
Pete: Okay, my trainer, Ho Chi, is teaching me a combination of Gee Koon Doe and Brazilian street fighting, Ive even had my own octagon training ring designed.
Monica: And I suppose you used a ring designer for that.
Pete: Yeah. Monica, I want you there in the front row when I win. I want you close enough to smell the blood. What do you think?
Jason: (going up to her) Hey. I was
Jason: I was passin by and I saw that you were playing tonight, its kinda cool seeing you up there. (kisses her)
Phoebe: I dont know, he just started kissing me. Get him! Get him, Vince!
Phoebe: Yeah, okay, Ive-Ive been dating both of you, and its been really horrible. Cause y'know its been a lot of fun, for me. Umm, but I-I like you both, and I, and I didnt know how to chose, so... Im sorry, Im just, Im terrible, Im a terrible person. Im terrible.
Vince: Phoebe, Phoebe relax, its okay. I mean we never said this was exclusive.
Jason: Yeah. I mean y'know, we havent been going out that long. Come on, we havent even slept together yet. Huh.
Phoebe: Well, I made you a candle light dinner in the park.
Jason: Y'know Phoebe, Im gonna make this real easy for you. (walks out)
Phoebe: Yeah, but I-I-I-I can do that for you, Im gonna do that for you.
Vince: Uh yeah, I cant believe I ever went out with somebody who would actually have an open flame in the middle of a wooden area. (walks out)
Guru Saj: (entering) Hello, I am Guru Saj-(sees the duck)-Whoa!! (to Joey) Thats supposed to be a duck right? Cause otherwise, this is waaay out of my league.
Monica: And when I told her that I was gonna be moving in with Chandler, she was really supportive. (To Rachel) (Starts to cry) You were so great. You made it so easy. And now you have to leave. And I have to live with a boy!! (They both break down in tears.)
Rachel: It's impossible to find a good doctor. I mean, how do you know the good ones from the ones who are gonna push their penis against your knee?
Joey: What? Are you referring to my man's bag? At first, I thought it just looked good, but it's practical too. Check it out! It's got compartments for all your stuff! Your wallet! Your keys! Your address book!
Chandler: I know it sounds really weird, but we're just so bad at relationships.
Tag: Im gettin back together with my ex-girlfriend.
JOEY: But I was Dr. Drake Remoray. How can I go from bein' a neurosurgeon to drivin' a cab?
Monica: Listen umm, Ive been thinking, its not fair for me to ask you to spend all of your money on our wedding. I mean, you work, you work really hard for that.
Phoebe: Oh, we're just... we're sad to go so we're just saying goodbye to the hotel. (hugs the wall) I love you... Paradise Hotel, Golf resort and Spa... (she walks away from the wall)
Ross: (shocked and confused by the question) What? I... I... (Benjamin looks at him as if to say "What's wrong? Answer the question")
Rachel: (laughs) Well, I mean, are you sure you want to go out with her? I mean that aint a pretty picture in the morning, yknow what I mean. That wig all in disarray, and boobs flung over the night stand, y'know.
Joey: Dont worry! Dont worry. I just told him, very nicely, "You dont go buying peoples babies, so back off!!"
Ross: (speaking with his mouth full) Yeah, I mean, all things that guy... (looks at the cookie) These are amazing!
Ross: Eh, I mean, I mena she's not unattractive but hot? I ....
LIPSON: Hi, Dean Lipson, zoo administrator. I was told you had a question.
Rachel: Are any of you guys free tonight? My boss is hosting this charity event for underprivileged kids and the more people I bring, the better I look. So, Monica? Chandler?
Cecilia: Right. Hes not angry at the room either. Try it again, he owns it! He owns the room. It is his. He owns, owns, owns, owns the room! He owns it!! (Joey gets a snooty look on his face.) All right, its a little weird, but its getting better. (Joey is pleased.) Oh well, Im gonna miss this woman so much. I dont know what Im going to do! I mean, its been 20 years of my life.
Chandler: I dont know R.G., I was thinking something girlie for your office.
Erica: No, I don't mind you touching my belly, but right now your hand is kind of blocking the part where the baby is gonna come out.
Rachel: And also, you know I uh, I was thinking about what you said, you know, about the whole sex thing and... it's probably not a great idea to go down that road again.
CAROLINE: I think my uterus just skipped a beat.
Phoebe: It’s ok, it’s ok. I made my decision. What I really want is a great big wedding (she covers her mouth)
Chandler: You cant wear that! Im wearing the famous tux! James Bonds tux!
CHANDLER: I can't believe you got us into trouble. [slaps Joey on the arm. Joey takes exception and slaps him back]
Monica: Ohh! Did you do what I said? Did-did-did you tell her?
Chandler: Y'know, I don't know if you've ever looked up the term goofing around in the dictionary Well, I have, and the technical definition is, two friends who care a lot about each other and have amazing sex and just wanna spend more time together. But if you have this new fangled dictionary that gets you made at me, then we have to, y'know, get you my original dictionary. I am so bad at this.
PHOEBE: Ok, question number 28, have you ever allowed a lighning bearer to take your wind? I would have to say no.
Ross: (standing at the edge of the roof) Yeah, I guess we dont have a choice. (Screaming to the street) Help us! Please help us! Were stuck up on the roof and we cant get down!!!
Chandler: Look, I want those basketball seats as much as you do! Okay, but we cant leave in the small apartment after weve lived here! Didnt you ever read Flowers for Algernon?
Ross: Sure, I mean, do I wish me and Rachel living together would have worked out? Of course. You know, I'm disappointed, but it's not like it's a divorce.
Erin: Im sorry I Its just theres no real spark.
Joey: (contemplates for a few moments what Rachel just said) NAH! I don't have another level!!
Janice: Oh hi! Well, I guess that's two out of three, Joey. (Laughs and exits.)
Part I Written by: Greg Malins & Adam Chase Part II Written by: David Crane & Marta Kauffman Parts I & II Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Phoebe: ...and then it goes back to the chorus... Smelly cat, Sme-lly ca-t / I-t's not your fau-lt. And that's the end of the song... I realise that you didn't ask to hear it, but uhm... no-one had spoken in seventeen minutes.
Jim: Oh also, you might be interested to know that I have a Ph.D.
Chandler: Ooh, Lambchop. How old is that sock? If I had a sock on my hand for thirty years it'd be talking too.
Chandler: (realizes what Ross just said and the implications to him) I am mad! But you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna forgive you! Because that's what friends do! They forgive their friends when they do everything you just said, all on the list there. Well, but I want you to remember that I forgave you.
Joey: No, I do six things! First, I look deep in her eyes. Then, I kiss her. Next I take my hand and I softly graze her thigh.
Phoebe: I just-I just started walking around not knowing what to do next, yknow? I-I started asking people on the street if they wanted massages. Then these policemen, thought I was a whore too. Its been a really bad day, whore wise.
Ross: I know! I know! Why do you guys need to have this conversation?! Huh? I mean no self-respecting man would ask a woman, "So, where is this going?"
Chandler: Yeah, I'm putting my foot down. Yeah look, when I proposed I told you that I would do anything to make you happy, and if having the perfect wedding makes you happy, then, then that's what we're gonna do.
Monica: Im just trying to spice it up!
Phoebe: I dont know! How are the-the-the-the, yknowYoure clothes arent funny.
Joey: Okay. Okay, I totally hear ya. Oo how about this? I vamp a little til they get there?
Phoebe: Yeah, I did. I think it sounds y'know big sistery, y'know, Franks always late.
Chandler: Yeah, Im gonna stick with the ring. (Goes to another display counter.) Oh, this ones nice! (Pointing to another ring.) I like this one! Sir? Uh, kind sir? Can I see this one?
Pete: Let me tell you a story. When I set out to create Moss 865, do you think it just happened overnight? No. There was Moss 1, that burnt down my Dads garage, there was Moss 2 that would only schedule appointments in January, and 862 others that I learned from, just like I learned from this fight, never to let a guy stand on my neck.
Monica: Yeah, well, I'll take a little crying any day over Howard-the-"I-win"-guy. (imitating) "I win! I win!" I went out with the guy for two monthsI didn't get to win once.
Monica: I just ran into Dave and he told me that you blew him off! I mean, you listen to me! Now, I'm calling the shots! I say you leave Ross alone and go get Dave! What the hell were you trying to do?
Phoebe: Woo-Hoo! The curse is broken! I called everybody I know, and everyone is alive.
Rachel: I dont care! I wanna meet this guy who's the best sex she ever had!
Ross: No! No! NotI dont mean I-I see her as a twelve-year-old girl! I mean I-I have a son, whos umm six and I still think of him as a baby.
Phoebe: Yeah, I cant say croissant. (realises) Oh my God!
Ross: And so what if I like to go home, throw on some Kenny G, and take a bath!
Janine: Well actually theyre taping tomorrow. I dont really understand why.
Mike: (disbelieving) I think I will be all right! (to Monica) You wanna volley a bit for a serve?
PHOEBE: I'm sorry Monica but I knew if I told you, you'd get really, like, judgemental and you would not approve.
Rachel: You know what? Uhm, I have some goodbye stuff that I wanted to say to each of you and I was gonna save it until the end of the night, but come here (they go into the guest room).
Ross: Space is filled with orbiting children. (pause) Look, please, just come on, you know, when you’ll see the look on Emma’s face, I swear you won’t regret it.
Emily: I wish I could know if youd heard any of that. I suppose Ive either just told you I love you or given my neighbours a good laugh. Mrs. Newman if youre listening, bugger off this in none of your business. I suppose theres not much chance you did heard that, and theres the call waiting so, I should go. Oh well. (Answers the call waiting.) Hello.
Joey: And I got them a book on Karma Sutra for the elderly.
Joey: Well look, Im breaking up with Katie so I had to put on some extra padding. Y'know? I mean, if she hits me when she's happy, can you imagine how hard she's gonna hit me when I tell her I'm taking away the Joey love?
Mr. Tribbiani: Just for a coupla days. I got a job midtown. I figure I'm better off staying with the kid than hauling my ass back and forth on the ferry. (Sees Roger) I don't know this one.
Joey: I know. I know. And this is so much more complicated than it was for those guys. I mean, its Rachel for God sakes.
Ross: Okay, Ill see you soon buddy. (He hugs and kisses him.) Be back in an hour.
Monica: Oh, I so can't believe this! My uterus is an inhospitable environment? I was trying so hard to be a good hostess!
Mike: Oh she's my girlfriend. That's not just how we do it here. I got to get a break and when we come back we've got Kennethsinging "I touch myself"...I'm not here to judge!
Chandler: I watched it!
Rachel: Yes. Monica, you don't get it. It's bad enough that she's stolen the guy who might actually be the person that I am supposed to be with, but now, she's actually (starting to cry), but now she's actually stealing you.
Monica: Yeah, I got this number from this guy at work and I hired a stripper to come dance for you. Am I going in the wife hall of fame or what?!
Joey: Well, Estelle tried, you know. The casting director told her that I missed my chance.
Mike: Oh, no! I don't think so! You know, according to standard table tennis rules if at any time a player uses his non racket bearing hand to touch the playing surface he or she forfeits the point.
Joey/Drake: I know what I felt that night when we kissed under the bridge.
Ross: Well, I have a PhD, so... (assistant walk out, not impressed by this statement) (Ross takes his bathrobe off and he enters the tanning booth. He stands up in front of the red light and the sprayer starts and sprays his face and torso)
Monica: Nothing. I just want the baby to be born today.
Rachel: So I hear the Ralph Lauren fooled around with someone in the copy room. (Kim stops the elevator and turns to Rachel.)
Rachel: Oh, come on! Ill give you ten free Ralph Lauren shirts.
Ross: No, a car backfired, but (Rachel suddenly calms down) I thought somebody was taking a shot at me. And Rach, I I survived! And I was filled with this-this great respect for life. Y'know? I-I want to experience every moment. I want to seize every opportunity. I-I am seeing everything so-so clearly now.
Judy: (to Monica) I remember your first birthday! Ross was jealous of all the attention we were giving you. He pulled on his testicles so hard! We had to take him to the emergency room! Ross: (pointing the camcorder at himself) There's something you didn't know about your dad!
Monica: Your a poet and don't know it. (she turns away and makes a face like 'I can't believe I just said that.')
Phoebe: (rapidly) Im doing okay. I think its going well. Do you think theyre having fun? Am I talking to fast?
Jill: All right, Im leaving! Because Im not going to spend one more day with someone whose out to sabotage my every move. Thats you Rachel!
Monica: Im gonna hang this basket (Points to the one sitting on the table) on the door and when the neighbors walk by they can all take a piece.
Rachel: Thirty. Ugh, I mean thirty! Monica, do you remember mean, old Mrs. Kreeger in the fifth grade? She was thirty!
Mr. Geller: I understand completely, theres nothing more horrifying than embarrassing yourself in front of your in-laws. As a matter of fact, when I started dating Judy I was unemployed, and her father asked me what I did for a living and I told him I was a lawyer.
Zack: Thanks! Do you have a coaster? I don't wanna make a ring.
Richard: No, we still have food in the basement! I saw potatoes and some dry pasta!
Rachel: Yeah! Oh, umm when-when Monica and Chandler got engaged I started putting some stuff together, yknow just in case
Ross: Wow, I havent seen her for like forever. I wonder if she still carries that Barbie everywhere she goes.
Mr. Thompson: Well, I hope youre gonna bid on some things Rachel.
Rachel: I didnt! Even when I found out umm, all right, well let's just say I found something out something about someone and let's just say she's gonna keep it. (Goes into her room.)
Joey: No man, that's huge! Now, I know I can stand to be around her, which means I get to hang out with you, which is kinda the whole point, anyway.
Phoebe: She is lying! And I bet I can prove it. Excuse me. (She grabs Ursulas purse and starts going through it and finds some papers.) Okay. Okay. YeahNot a prayer chain, but what looks like a detailed drawing of a bank floor plan. (Holds up her nametag.) Okay, heres the nametag from the restaurant where she works as a waitress! Not a teacher, a waitress. All right, heres her driver license, this oughta be good, she always lies about this. How old did she say she was?
Ross: So I asked Emily if she would come to New York, and she said yes.
Mrs. Geller: I brought something that I want to give you, assuming of course that you want it. (She holds up an engagement ring.)
Ross: No ah-ah-ah! Do not start this car! (She starts the car.) Okay! Okay! I will give you twenty bucks if you get out of this car right now! (He looks for the twenty Rachel stole and doesnt find it.)
Chandler: (embarrassed) I cannot believe Ross told you that! (pause) And in my defense, it was a Wendy's!
Joey: See, I actually can pour milk, but I got you believing that I couldnt. Now, see, thats acting.
Ross: And if you think about it, I mean the reason he memorized all that stuff is because he thought it was important to you. You know, that's the kind of guy Joey is.
Chandler: Oh actually, Id rather you Yeah, go ahead. Were gonna have to burn that room down anyway.