words in movies
Ross: Listen, I-I need a favor. Umm, I was in the shower, and as I was cleansing myself, I ah, I-I, well I felt something.
Ross: No, no, I mean, I mean a thing on my body.
Ross: Well, I don't know, it's-it's kinda in a place that's not... It's not visually accessible to me, and I was hoping maybe you guys could-could help me out. (starts to take off his pants)
Phoebe: (to her date) Okay, and then this is the coffee house. This is where I play my music. (points to the stage)
Chandler: Well, y'know if Joey and I played with matches we could get you up to an even hundred.
Chandler: You're right, I know.
Vince: (to Phoebe) Look, I gotta go. I'm on call tonight. (kisses her) See you Saturday. (leaves)
Rachel: Wow, he's cute, Pheebs! But I thought you just started dating that Kindergarten teacher.
Phoebe: I know, I know! I'm like playing the field. Y'know? Like, juggling two guys, I'm sowing my wild oats. Y'know? Y'know, this kind've like y'know oat-sowin', field-playin' juggler.
Phoebe: Does a dog's lips move when he reads? (Joey makes an `I don't know' face, and looks to Chandler and Rachel, who're also stumped) Okay, no they don't.
Chandler: Y'know what? You should go to my guy, because when I went in there with my third nipple. He just lopped it right off. Y'know? So I guess I'm lucky. I mean not as lucky as people who were born with two nipples.
Monica: I just checked my messages, and he said that when he gets back from Atlanta, we need to talk.
Jason: ...and I know I'll never miss doing it, but I gotta tell you, it's pretty cool knowing that you're making a difference in a kid's life.
Phoebe: That is so great! Oh, I... (sees that a parked car near them has caught on fire) Oh my God!
Phoebe: Well look, if I wanted to see a fireman, I would date one. Okay? (she drags him away)
Monica: (starting to get up) I gotta go water Pete's plants. (stops) Y'know what, if he's gonna break up with me, maybe I won't water his plants.
Chandler: Well, if he's gonna break up with you, maybe Joey and I should water his plants. If y'know what I mean.
Joey: Oh no-no-no-no, I meant Chandler.
Ross: Y'know I have dinner plans!!
Monica: I know.
Monica: I guess that's how.
Pete: I see him, you guys are just the worst hiders ever.
Monica: Ahh, Pete, the other day when you said you needed to talk, umm, just so I know, is it good news or bad news.
Pete: Oh, it's good news. No, it's definitely good news. Hold on a second, I have another call. (clicks his remote) (to his other call) Hey, how's it going?
Pete: Okay, I love you.
Monica: I love you.
All: I love you, love you.
Rachel: Mon you definitely have to make it a theme wedding, and the theme could be, Look how much money weve got! Y'know, I mean you could put, you could put money in-in the invitations! You-you could have like little money place settings. And ah, you could start with a money salad! I mean itll be dry, but people will like it.
Monica: Would you stop? Weve only been going out a couple of weeks, I mean we dont even know if hes gonna propose.
Phoebe: All right. I gotta go. I have break up with Vince.
Phoebe: Yeah, I like Vince a lot, y'know? But, its just Jasons so sensitive, y'know? And in the long run, I think sensitive its just better than having just like a really, really, really nice (pause) butt. (Her eyes glaze over thinking about the butt.) (pause) Jason! Definitely Jason! Okay, wish me luck!
Rachel: OH MY GOD!!! (She holds her hands up in triumph and the gang all look at her.) Sorry, I was just imagining what itd be like to catch the money bouquet.
Phoebe: Wow! I didnt know you guys actually used those.
Phoebe: Umm, wow. This-this isnt gonna be easy. Umm, I dont think we should see each other anymore.
Phoebe: Im sorry.
Vince: No-no its okay. Its just that ah, I thought we had something pretty special here. And y'know I-I felt like you were someone I could finally open up to, and (starts choking up) That theres so much in me I have to share with you yet.
Phoebe: Oh my God, I didnt
Vince: (starting to cry) Im sorry, I cant talk. Im gonna go write in my journal. (walks away)
Phoebe: (to Ross) Im telling you, if you want to take care of that thing, you should go to my herbal guy.
Ross: Thank you, but I want to remove it Pheebs. I dont want to make it savory.
Rachel: (entering) Hi! Okay, dont be mad at me, but I couldnt resist.
Rachel: Yes, and I know that youd say no if he asked you, but Im sorry; how great would you look walking down the aisle in this Donna Carin. (shows her the picture.)
Monica: It is so weird, I know what I said, but uh, this morning, I was lying in bed I was, I was imagining what it would be like to say yes. (Rachel slams the magazine shut in amazement.) I know its a little sudden, and its a little rushed, and its totally not like me to do something like this, but that doesnt mean I cant. Right? I mean Im-Im crazy about Pete, and I know that we want the same things, and when I thought about saying yes, it made me really happy.
Monica: I know. (pause) I need more pie. (goes and gets some)
Phoebe: Hey Mon umm, if you do get married, can I bring two guests?
Phoebe: Well, yeah, because I have to break up with someone, and Okay so Jason is sensitive, (holds up one finger) but now sos Vince (holds up one finger on her other hand) Plus, Vince has the body y'know? (holds up two more fingers on the Vince side) So Its really just about the math.
Guru Saj: I am Guru Saj. (takes the drawer back and replaces)
Ross: Listen, I got to tell you Ive-Ive never been to a guru before, so...
Guru Saj: Well, relax. If it makes you feel better, Ive attended some of the finest medical schools in Central America. Well then, lets take a look at this skin abnormality of yours. (motions to the table) Come on, have a seat. (looks at it) Eeh, huh. As I suspected, its a koondis!
Guru Saj: I dont know, whats a koondis with you? (starts laughing as if that joke was funny, Ross only looks at him, and he stops) Please, lie down! Ive got a sav that oughta shrink that right up.
Ross: I guess its worth a try.
Guru Saj: Oh, I think I see the problem. And Im afraid were gonna have to use a much stronger tool. (Ross gives him a What? look) Love.
Pete: So ah, there was this thing I wanted to talk to you about.
Monica: Oh, right! I completely forgot about that.
Pete: Well ah, Ive been doing a lot of thinking, and I look at my life
Pete: And I feel like Ive conquered the business world, and I feel like Ive conquered the intellectual world, and now I-I have the most beautiful woman in the world.
Pete: Monica, I want to become (pause) the Ultimate Fighting Champion.
Pete: I want to become the Ultimate Fighting Champion! Its the most intense physical competition in the world, its banned in 49 states!
Pete: Okay, my trainer, Ho Chi, is teaching me a combination of Gee Koon Doe and Brazilian street fighting, Ive even had my own octagon training ring designed.
Monica: And I suppose you used a ring designer for that.
Pete: Yeah. Monica, I want you there in the front row when I win. I want you close enough to smell the blood. What do you think?
Jason: (going up to her) Hey. I was
Jason: I was passin by and I saw that you were playing tonight, its kinda cool seeing you up there. (kisses her)
Phoebe: I dont know, he just started kissing me. Get him! Get him, Vince!
Phoebe: Yeah, okay, Ive-Ive been dating both of you, and its been really horrible. Cause y'know its been a lot of fun, for me. Umm, but I-I like you both, and I, and I didnt know how to chose, so... Im sorry, Im just, Im terrible, Im a terrible person. Im terrible.
Vince: Phoebe, Phoebe relax, its okay. I mean we never said this was exclusive.
Jason: Yeah. I mean y'know, we havent been going out that long. Come on, we havent even slept together yet. Huh.
Phoebe: Well, I made you a candle light dinner in the park.
Jason: Y'know Phoebe, Im gonna make this real easy for you. (walks out)
Phoebe: Yeah, but I-I-I-I can do that for you, Im gonna do that for you.
Vince: Uh yeah, I cant believe I ever went out with somebody who would actually have an open flame in the middle of a wooden area. (walks out)
Guru Saj: (entering) Hello, I am Guru Saj-(sees the duck)-Whoa!! (to Joey) Thats supposed to be a duck right? Cause otherwise, this is waaay out of my league.
Joey: Nooo, I said we needed a new plan.
Rachel: Hello. I need to get on the 11 o'clock flight.
Rachel: Can you not look at me when I say this? (He turns around) I thought that if I could get you here, I could seduce you.
Chandler: Ill make something up! Im good at lying, I actually did borrow your Walkman!
Rachel: Umm, okay, I think I'm-I'm just gonna-just gonna say it. Just gonna say it. Uhh, (pause) I'm still in love with you Ross.
Chandler: Well, I did and it hurt. (they walk towards the bar) That's when I wrote the song: "Betrayal In The Common Room".
CHANDLER: Oh please, I saw the way you were checking out his mouldings. You want it.
Chandler: It was terrible. I fought with (Pause) my colleagues y'know, the entire time. Are you kidding with this? (Throws away another Rollo)
Ross: Well, I kinda half to. I mean, because the thing is
Rachel: (Looking through her purse.) Okay, you know what? I dont have it, but I can tell you exactly where it is on my night stand, and...okay. But you know what? I have my drivers license and I have a twenty. (She slides it across the counter.)
Chandler: I know, it's beautiful. Amazing.
Chandler: That is so weird, because every time I go to the dentist, I look down the hygienists blouse.
Chandler: Look, the only way I will even consider this is if they offer a lot more than just season seats.
Phoebe: Not yet. Umm, I heard they really hurt, do they hurt?
Ross: You know you probably didn't know this, but back in high school, I had a, um, major crush on you.
Monica: Oh man! I did it again!
...I feel a little sneezy And now I- (abruptly stops)
Joey: I gotta get the before shot!
Sophie: Yknow why? Shes got the Christmas bonus list in there. I saw her working on it this morning.
Joey: Are they? I didn't know I cared that much.
Monica: Oh, its so beautiful. Ohh! Yknow, I-I dont know if I feel right about this.
Frank: (To Phoebe) Hey! Am I late? Am I late? Nobody came out yet, right?
Monica: Umm. (Looks at Chandler who is using the phone.) Umm. Umm. I don't think so.
ROSS: Yeah but, you know, now that I think about it, I don't think I've ever seen Fun Bobby without a... a drink in his hand.
Rachel: Well then how come youre still at a job that you hate, I mean why dont you quit and get the fear?
Ross: I couldn't possibly eat another bite.
Ross: Hey, when the music starts up again, I was thinking of maybe goind into the robot, yknow? (He mimics a robot)
Chandler: Look, forget it. We tried, but Phase Three is a lost cause, Okay? Those strippers were insanely hot, and I couldnt picture myself with any of them. (Sits back in disgust.)
Rachel: Well said. And a uh good example of the fun I was referring to uhh, but I just think Im past the point where I think I can yknow, just have fun.
Joey: No, Im not! And it wasnt a hop it was a pademarie.
Joey: I think Saturday(groans in pain again).
Joey: Yeah, I was bummed too.
Monica: Umm, listen there's something I think you should know.
Ross: I dont think you had an open mind about the name Ruth. I mean, come on, little Ruthie Geller, how-how cute is that?
Chandler: Fine! Maybe I will too!
Rachel: Ross, that girl just spent the entire evening talking to your friends, asking to hear stories about you, looking through Monicas photo albums, I mean you dont do that if youre just in it for two weeks.
Joey: Hey. Hey look I am still Joey, okay. Flowers theyre just, you know, theyre nice to look at. And that happens to be a picture by a famous artist. Of a famous baby.
Ross: Actually, it kinda is. My wife won't return my calls. I don't know where my wife is. (Laughs) "Hey Ross, where's the Mrs.?" Don't know!
Monica: Chandler! (Knocks on the door.) Chandler! I just figured out who you are!
Phoebe: I know, it is.
Rachel: That was her idea, I just gave her a nudge.
Phoebe: Oh can I? Vegetarians never get to do the wishbone. It's really not fair either! You know, just because we don't eat the meat doesn't mean we don't like to play with the carcasses!
Rachel: I can't watch. It's like firing Elmo. (Ross walks to the couch where Sandy sits)
Phoebe: Can I tell you a little secret?
Phoebe: Why not?! Maybe I can, you don't know!
Phoebe: I want to keep one. (Giggles in excitement.)
Chandler: No, it's not that, I just don't want to be stuck here all night with your fat sister.
Joey: Well, maybe a little. I wish you hadn't seen me throw up.
Joey: Well, I like it. Here you go. (He pays for the hat.)
Dina: Joey, I cant stand the thought of having this baby with you mad at me. I want him to have his uncle. Is my baby gonna have his Uncle Joey?
Ross: Free cats do that too, y'know. {Which reminds me, if I might get a little political here, support your local animal shelter. Pet shops are not the place to buy dogs and cats from, you get a much better deal from the shelter, plus they probably won't die on you in a week and a half. If you want a leash, go to the pet shop. If you want the dog for that leash, go to the shelter and save it's life. Now back to regularly scheduled programming.}
Joey: Whoa! Is this porn? What did I do? I mustve hit something on the remote.
Ross: I do too! I do too!
Frank: Yeah, I love you. Okay, bye! (To Rachel) Hi!
Ross: yes, yeah I said something stupid about her never having had a serious relationship, but you should know she is so much fun, a wonderful person please don't blow her off.
PHOEBE: You guys are so pathetic, I, oh, OH, XANADU! OH.
Ross: Okay, well here we are. Now were in a tough spot again, Rach. What do you want to do? How do you want to handle it? Huh? Do you wanna fight for us? Or, do you wanna bail? (sits down next to her) Look, I, (on the verge of tears) I did a terrible, stupid, stupid thing. Okay? And Im sorry, I wish I could take it back, but I cant. (We see Monica and Phoebe are almost in tears.) I just cant see us throwing away something we know is so damn good. Rachel, I love you so much.
Joey: Im missin picture time?! (Jumps over to look, Ross glares at him and he retreats.)
Chandler: Hey! Im sorry! That(sees that Joey is about to leave) where are you going?
Dan: I see the head.
The Cute Guy: Wow! Uh, this is kind of embarrassing. I was actually coming over to talk to your friend.
Phoebe: Y'know, for once, I am going to sit down and try to watch one of these things. (just as she sits down).
Frank: I can't believe there's somebody coming out of you right now. There's somebody coming out of you! Is it? Is it? It's my son.
Chandler: You know, I always feel that way after an interview. I'll bet it went better than you think.
Rachel: (makes some unintelligible sound to stop her from leaving) Obviously you know how to haggle, so I'm not gonna try and take you on. Okay? So $800 and I don't call the cops because you're robbing me blind! Blind! (Covers her eyes) Just take cat, leave the money, and run away! Run away! (Uncovers her eyes and sees that the woman has fled) Damnit! (To the cat) Cat, can't you at least smile or something?! (The cat hisses at her again, it sounds like Rachel) Okay, did anybody just hear that? Anybody?
Chandler: Y'know, I sensed that I should stop. So we're okay?
Monica: Okay, I got it. Phoebe? All right, you pull. I'm gonna spread the legs as wide as I can. (Joey starts giggling.) Joey? Now is not the time!
Monica: I think you're better than you think you are.
Monica: I think you're my favorite.
Monica: I don't care.
Phoebe: But umm, I mean, did you talk to them about, y'know
Rachel: Okay! No accountants. Oh, and no one from like legal. I dont like guys with boring jobs.
Phoebe: I know.
Drew: Ahh, I just got out of a big relationship, Im not looking for any thing serious.
Rachel: I cannot believe you.
Ross: Okay, uh, about last night, um, Chandler.. you didn't tell... (Joey shakes his head) Okay, 'cause I'm thinking- we don't need to tell Chandler, I mean, it was just a kiss, right? One kiss? No big deal? Right?
RACH: I don't know. Who would I have to sleep with?
Ross: I had to talk loud because the movie was loud!
Kim: Oh thats interesting? Because I checked and only one keycard was used to access the copy machine yesterday during lunch and that keycard belonged to you, Rachel.
Monica: (pulling on a robe) Okay, I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I-I-I was um, I was taking a nap.
Joey: Maybe, I should call this place and get them to put my 'Days of Our Lives' on here. You know, juice this puppy up a little.
Joey: Come on Ross! Look, I-I dont have any brothers; Ill never get to be a best man!
Mrs. Geller: (holding two pies) Monica, why don't you finish off these pies? I don't have any more room left in the fridge.
Phoebe: Yeah. Oh! It'll be like I have a wife in the fifties!
Joey: Do uh, do you got any beer? All-all I got is this melon stuff that Rachel left. I dont
Rachel: A-alright! I can do this.
RACHEL: (after a pause with everyone staring at her, she goes up to the microphone) Ya, know what Barr, I'm not gonna leave. I probably should, but I'm not, see 'cause I promised myself that I would make it through at least *one* of your weddings (da-doom-chesh). See now, tonight, all I really wanted was to make it though this evening with a little bit of grace and dignity. Well (laughing), I guess we can all agree that's not gonna happen. There's nothing really left to say except....(starts singing) "Her name was Lola. She was a showgirl. With yellow feathers (band joins in), feathers in her hair, and a dress cut down to there. She would..."
Monica: I might've said that. (Chandler laughs.) Why is that funny?
Emily: I miss you to. Well, at least I think I do.
CHANDLER: I think you played the Gunther card too soon.
Phoebe: I will find a selfless good deed! 'Cause I just gave birth to three children and I will not let them be raised in a world where Joey is right!
Joey: Oh! Hey right! Not a problem. (He starts taking off his clothes.) I totally understand. You need to yknow make sure I dont have any horrible scars or tattoos. Dont you worry; I have nothing to hide. (He drops his pants and stands back up and looks down.) So there you go, thats me. (We cut to a camera angle looking at the casting director and movie director through Joeys legs.) One hundred percent natural! (Suddenly, theres a thud as something falls off.) (Everyone is shocked.) I tell ya, that has never happened before.
Monica: Well, I guess we've established who's staying here with Monica...
Chandler: No, I didn't misunderstand, okay? She was all over me! She touched my bicep for crying out loud!
Emily: I understand that would be difficult.
Emily: I don't know, it's just
Ross: I know. I am, I am so sorry.
Phoebe: (In a British accent) This is Phoebe Buffay. I was wondering, please, if-if its not too much trouble, please, umm, might I speak to Miss Emily Waltham, please?
Emily: I did. Now I'm the idiot.
Monica: Well, I do.