words in movies
{Transcriber's Note: Rachel has two friends that are not named, so I referred to them as Friend No. 1 and Friend No. 2.}
Ross: Im sorry the answer there would be...none of us.
Janice: Im sorry I find it hard to believe that a group of people who spends as much time together as you guys do has never bumped uglies.
Ross: Yeah, Ill take some.
Monica: (entering from bedroom) Okay, Ill be back in just a minute. Oh, Phoebe Im sorry that I left lipstick marks on the phone.
Phoebe: (angrily) Bye-bye! (to Ross) Thats why I moved out.
Phoebe: I think on some levels she already knows.
Chandler: Im never gonna find a roommate, ever.
Chandler: Two. This photographer, who seemed really dull. And this actor guy, who Im not sure about, because when he called and I answered the phone Chandler Bing, he said Whoa-whoa, short message.
Ross: I have to go. Yeah, Carol should be home by now, soo...
Ross: Oh, better, actually. Y'know I-I-I think I finally figured out why we were having so much trouble lately.
Ross: Yeah, y'know how I have you guys, well she doesnt really have any close friends that are just hers, but last week she meet this woman at the gym, Susan something, and they really hit it off, and I-I-I think its gonna make a difference
Eric: Oh, mostly fashion, so there may be models here from time to time, I hope thats cool.
Chandler: Yes, that is cool. Because I have models here y'know......never.
Eric: Oh, yeah, during the summer, I spend most weekends at my sisters beach house, which you are welcome to use by the way. Although, I should probably tell you, shes a porn star. (Chandler breaks his pencil in half)
Chandler: Well, listen I ah, still have one more person to ah meet, but unless it turns out to be your sister, I think youre chances are pretty good. (Eric offers to shake hands) All right. (Chandler hugs him.)
Joey: Well, ah, Im an actor. Im fairly neat. I ah, I got my own TV. Oh, and dont worry Im totally okay with the gay thing.
Joey: Ah, y'know just in general people being gay, thing. Im totally cool with that.
Chandler: Do I ever.
Chandler: (to bartender) Can I get a beer.
Chandler: Oh yes, and thats what I want a roommate that I can walk around with and be referred to as the funny one.
Monica: Oh look, the pool tables free. Rack em up. Ill be back in just a minute. Get ready for me to whip your butt.
Rachel: (sitting at a table with some of her friends) (to waitress) Oh, um, no, no, no, no excuse me, hello. Hi. My friend ordered an onion, not an olive, and uh I ordered a rum and Diet Coke, which I dont think this is.
Waitress: I am so sorry.
Rachel: Thats all right. (to her friends) I mean hard is it to get a couple drinks right, huh?
Friend No. 1: Well, I would like to propose a toast to the woman, who in one year from today, become Mrs. Dr. Barry Farber DDS
Rachel: Ummm, I think its time to see the ring again. (holds her hand out and they all scream)
Friend No. 2: Oh, isnt it exciting, I mean its like having a boyfriend for life.
Rachel: Yeah, I know.
Rachel: Oh, I dont know. Well maybe its just the idea of Barry for the rest of my life. I dont know I think I feel like I need to have one last fling, y'know, just to sorta get it out of my system. (Chandler is listening in very intensely)
Rachel: Im serious, I really, I think I need just to have some...meaningless, sex y'know, with the next guy that I see.
Chandler: Excuse, I seem to have dropped my ball.
Chandler: (picks it up) And now Ive picked it up again. (walks over to Monica.)
Monica: Oh my God, I went to high school with her. (to Rachel) Rachel! Hi!
Monica: I know.
Monica: So, Ill get-get back to my friend.
Rachel: Oh, yeah, sure, sure, sure, sure. (points at Chandler, who holds up the cue ball as a Remember me? thing) Listen, can we please have lunch the next time Im in the city?
Monica: Bye! (to Chandler) Ten bucks says, I never see that woman again in my life.
Ross: No real-, honey, really its fine, just g-go with Susan. Really, I, no, I think girls night out is a great idea. Okay, okay, bye
Ross: I dont know, something girlie.
Phoebe: Im just taking it to be re-wired.
Mr. Heckles: I could play the oboe!
Phoebe: Then Im gonna have to ask you to keep it down. (slams the door in his face.)
Eric: Hi, Im Eric, Im gonna be Chandlers new roommate.
Mr. Heckles: Im Chandlers new roommate.
Mr. Heckles: I could be Chandlers new roommate.
Mr. Heckles: Well, Im going to go into my new apartment now. (goes over to the door and opens it) Ehh! (Eric leaves)
Chandler: Oh, dont thank me, thank the jerk that never showed up. Okay, I gotta get to get to work.
Joey: Oh, no thanks, I got it. (picks it up) No I dont!
Monica: This place is really my Grandmothers. (Joey starts to take off all of his clothes, while Monica gets the glasses and pours the lemonade.) I got it from her when she moved to Florida, otherwise I could never afford a place like this. So if the landlord ever asks, Im 87 year old woman, whos afraid of her VCR. So are you thirsty?
Joey: Oh, you bet I am!
Monica: I dont believe this! When someone asks you in for lemonade, and to you that means they wanna have sex?
Joey: Well usually...yeah! Well, not just lemonade, iced tea, sometimes juice. Well, sorry, I just, I thought you liked me. Im such a jerk.
Monica: Its okay. I suppose it could happen to anyone, not anyone I know, but... By the way I can still see it.
Phoebe: Its not in the apartment? (Monica gives a Come on look) Oh no. I cant believe this is happening again.
Phoebe: Okay, enough with the third degree! I-Ive, I dont live here anymore.
Phoebe: Im sorry, I-I-I-I dont live here anymore. I-I didnt know how to tell you, but y'know everybody else knows!
Phoebe: That was supposed to be a good thing, I forget why. Just listen, Monica, I, do you know, okay, do you know, I couldnt sleep for like a month because I got like a dot of ink on one of the sofa cushions.
Phoebe: Yeah, I wouldve except I had a big spaghetti stain on the other side.
Phoebe: Okay, this is what Im talking about, this. I-I need to live in a land where people can spill.
Phoebe: Aw, honey its not your fault, y'know this is who you are, and I love you, and I want us to be friends, and if I keep living here I dont see that happening.
Monica: I love you, too.
Monica: What? Im just said.
Chandler: Yeah, Ill go get one.
Joey: No, no, no, dont get up, I got a cooler right here.
Monica: I dont understand, I mean am I so hard to live, is this why I dont have a boyfriend?
Chandler: Noo!! You dont have a boyfriend because....I dont, I dont know why you dont have a boyfriend. You should have a boyfriend.
Monica: Well, I think so.
Chandler: Oh-ho, come here. (goes and hugs her) Listen, you are one of my favourite people and the most beautiful woman Ive ever known in real life.
Ross: My marriage, I think my marriage is um, is kinda over.
Ross: Cause Carols a lesbian. (Phoebe is shocked) And, and Im not one. And apparently its not a mix and match situation.
Phoebe: Oh my God! I dont believe it! Oh, you poor bunny.
Ross: (sets out a bunch of shot glasses and starts to poor himself a drink, many drinks) Im an idiot. I mean shoulda seen it, I mean Carol and Id be out and shed, shed see some beautiful woman, and, and shed be Ross y'know look at her, and Id think, God, my wife is cool!
Ross: Well, now I do!!
Phoebe: Im sorry.
Ross: Seven years. I mean weve been together seven years, shes the only woman whos ever loved me, and the only woman Ive-Ive ever....
Monica: I know, it is isnt it?
Chandler: No, I mean it, this feels really good. Is it a hundred percent cotton?
Monica: Yeah! And I got it on sale, too.
Chandler: Anyway, I should go, one of the lifeguards was just about to dismantle a nuclear device.
Monica: I know. Thanks. (Chandler leaves)
Ross: Maybe this wouldve happened if Id been more nurturing, or Id paid more attention, or I... had a uterus. I cant believe this!
Phoebe: I know no, no, y'know you dont deserve this, you dont Ross. Youre, youre really, youre so good. (kisses him on the cheek)
Ross: No, I cant get it out.
Phoebe: Oh, Ross youre right, I dont know why I always thought this was real grass.
Chandler: I cant believe you came back.
Rachel: Dont say anything. I dont wanna speak, I dont wanna think. I just want you to take me and kiss me and make love to me right here, right now.
Ross: Ok, fine, but I don't want them bonding to much. I don't want her telling Emma she needs a nose job.
Monica: (Robin is speaking loudly again) I...
Rachel: Yes. Yes I do.
Ross: Its okay, Im ready.
Phoebe: Yeah I know. Isnt it great? One less person we have to make small talk with.
Rachel: Well, however great she was I just cant afford that.
Chandler: Oh God, it freaked me out. Okay, I know it shouldnt have, but it did. I mean I like her, I dont want to stop seeing her, but every so often its like Hey, y'know what, wheres your leg? I mean Im the smallest person in the world arent I? Im the smallest person in the world.
Chandler: Let me think. Let me thinkOh! I dont care.
Chandler: Oh come on Ross, I think were all losers here.
Chandler: Ill take a card.
Ross: (exiting the bathroom) That-that-thats all right, no honey, you take your time sweetie. Ill be right out here. (She slams the door in his face, to the gang) Shes just fixing her makeup.
Joey: Look, come on you guys, you said you were gonna try! All right look, I came over here to invite you guys to a movie with me and Janine.
Rachel: What? You guys, come on! What am I going to do?
{Transcibers note: Ill finish that one for those of you who dont know what theyre talking about. Where the towels are Hers and Hers and His, Threes Company too! Yeah, thats the theme song for Threes Company.}
Rachel: Oh yeah. Okay, see mom, the truth is I can do this on my own.
Phoebe: Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you, it was just, it was so sweet. (She goes to hug them and they both flinch, thinking that Phoebe is about to attack them.)
Rachel: Well, yeah, yknow how Ross and I were on again, off again, on again, off again? I guess I just figured that somewhere down the road, we would be on again.
Chandler: Because that's who I am, okay? I'm sure a mature man like Richard could see a tape like that and it wouldn't bother him. Just'd be another saucy anecdote for him to share at his men's club over brandy and moustaches.
Ross: Id like to spin the wheel!
Ross: Shut up! I Dream of Genie!
Phoebe: Really?! Oh thats so exciting! Thank you! Thanks Mon! Oh but Mon, if you touch my guitar again Ill have to pound on you for a little bit.
Mrs. Green: Im going to the bathroom.
Mrs. Green: Of course I am!
Rachel: So umm, youre gonna stay with me as long as I need you?
JOEY: Listen, uh, I don't know when I'm gonna see you again. CHANDLER: Well, I'm guessing uh, tonight at the coffee house. JOEY: Right, yeah. OK. Um, take care. CHANDLER: Yeah. [Joey walks out and after a few seconds comes back in and gives Chandler a big hug. He then leaves for good and Chandler is left alone in his apartment.] CLOSING CREDITS
Chandler: I just think that things would go a lot smoother if we each have our own zone. Phoebe, you can be in charge of wiping. And yknow Mon, you can be in charge of diapering and I can be in charge of looking how cute they are when they put their hands around (He degrades into baby talk, but he means when they grab his finger.)
Man: Hey Joey, hi! Im Ray; Im the producer of the show.
RACH: Yeah! Closure. That's what it is, that's what I need. God, you're brilliant! Why didn't I think of that? How do I get that?
Ross: No, I ran. It was really far, and when did people stop understanding the phrase, "Get the hell out of my way!"
Chandler: Well, I am drinking lots of cups of coffee because Im exhausted! Because Joey started snoring!
Ross: Im-Im sure thats not true.
[Scene: The Wedding Hall, Monica and Chandler have just said "I do," and the photographer is taking the required pictures. First of Monica, Chandler, Ross and Joey.]
Rachel: I do. I really do. I dont know anything.
Rachel: Oh no? Pheebs? Monica? Do I know anything about babies?
Rachel: I hope youre going somewhere with this.
Ross: Im telling you.
Mrs. Green: Oh no-no-no-no sweetheart, you stay put. Ill let myself out. Its like Im not here, which I almost wasnt.
Monica: (laughs) Youre still so funny. Youre so funny. (To Phoebe) What do I do?
Phoebe: Yeah I mean if you want to say anything to her, Id tell her off.
Joey: All right well, yknow I guess we know what we have to do to get down.
Monica: Yeah? Im proud of me too.
Phoebe: You were fantastic! Im so proud of you!
Monica: All right, well why dont I go out with an ex-boyfriend and do Joey a favor?!
Rachel: Yes, Ive done my studying and I really know my stuff.
Rachel: (closing a book) Okay! Im ready.
Rachel: A card! A card! I pick a card!
Mrs. Green: All right you two, Im gonna get going.
Phoebe: Well, it helps the bee look tough in front of his bee friends. The bee is happy and I am definitely not.
Chandler: Well, no, although I did have an imaginary friend, who... my parents actually preferred.
Monica: Im so humiliated!
Rachel: I didnt write it.
Chandler: Im so sorry.
Monica: Is he right? Am I reallyAm I awful?
Sandy: I realise how it's... a bit unorthodox for some people, but I really believe, the most satisfying thing you can do with your life, is take care of a child.
Ross: Okay look, I had a lot of water before I went to bed. Can we do this after
Rachel: I am freaking out!
Rachel: Im serious.
Rachel: (stopping him) Oh, wait Ross! Im sorry, one more thing!
Phoebe: Yeah, I thought I had one a couple of minutes ago, and now I know that was definitely one.
Joey: Okay, Ill see you there. (Starts to leave)
Ross: (interrupting her) Okay. Okay. If uh, if youre gonna do this, then Im gonna do that. (Points to the bathroom.) So (Starts for the bathroom.)
Chandler: Thats what I do now.
Ross: Well, Im not going to go now anyway (he goes to sit down).
Joey: I thought you already have a job.
Monica: I cant believe you. You still havent told that girl she doesnt have a job yet?
Chandler: I like it in the stern. (Realizes what he just said.) of the boat. (The phone rings, and he answers it.) (on phone) Hello.
Cashier: I notice you picked out a lot of our dinosaur items.
Chandler: What is it that I do?
Phoebe: Wait, I think I know someone who does that.
Phoebe: Yes, when I first met you, you were like, "Blah, blah, blah." I was like, shhh!
Chandler: Me! I do that. So Seriously, do I look okay? Im little nervous.
Monica: I can.
Chandler: Oh yeah, I just showed this a picture of you and guys were throwing themselves at me! Theyre buying me drinks! Theyre giving me stuff! (to Joey) Knicks tonight?
Joey: If you go to a hotel you'll be...doing stuff. I want you right here where I can keep an eye on you.
Ross: Hello! Can I get you anything? Huh? Lens cleaner? Your battery okay? (Rachel bursts in carrying two boxes and Ross jumps up.) Rachel!
Ross: God, you're amazing... I didn't even have to ask you to call me that.
Monica: Hi! Umm, Im Monica Geller, Im the chef at Alessandros.
Katie: Well, the delivery went out to you and I realized they forgot this. (A blanket.)
Katie: Oh uh I actually came here to ask you out.
Rachel: Oh okay, I see what youre doing there.
Rachel: (to her) Hi! Im Rachel. This is Phoebe. Im the maid of honor. How do you know Monica?
Ross: Well, it was loong. I didnt even realise how late it was, until I noticed the 5 oclock shadow on her head. (They both start to laugh, then stop themselves quickly.) Anyway, she didnt want to stay. I called a cab; she just left.
Phoebe: I cant help you.
Rachel: Okay. Now this is just the first chapter, and I want your absolute honest opinion. Oh, oh, and on page two, he's not 'reaching for her heaving beasts'.
Amy with confused look on face: Yeah I.. I think so. <sticks her hand out to shake hands with Phoebe and says to her> It's nice to meet you Emma.
Chandler: Hey, look, what do you want me to say? Do you want me to say that Ill stop seeing her?
Phoebe: I see. Nice sidestep on the do do thing by the way.
Chandler: Hardest thing Ive ever done in my life.
Monica: Joey! Im so proud of you!
Phoebe: Because Im going to kill him
Joey: (finishing installing the Milk Master 2000) Wow, it is easy. (Starts to poor the milk) Now, I can have milk everyday.
Phoebe: No! No, you can't arrest me! No!! I won't go back! I won't go back to that hell hole!!
Carol: So, I got the results of the amnio today.
Chandler: Id like a Google Card.
Joey: Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! I dont want to go. Im having fun.
Chandler: That I did. That I did.
The Interviewer: So, lets talk about women. Im sure our female readers will be interested to know about your romantic life.
Monica: Oh, Im totally crazy, but you-you like the food?
Rachel: All right listen ball boys! My grandmother had one of these when I was a little girl and it was the sweetest thing! I mean it was so cute, it would sit in my lap and purr all day long, and I would drag a shoestring on the ground and he would chase it!
Chandler: (trying not to laugh) I see.