words in movies
Chandler: (to Ross) All right listen, I have to go to the bathroom, but if the place with the big fish comes up again. Id like know whether thats several big fish or just one big fish.
Phoebe: Yeah, that was Leslie calling again to see if we can get back together. Thats the twentieth time today! And good luck Leslie!
Ross: Well, Im sorry, but ah, look if youre not working with him anymore, why do you have to still do stuff with him?
Rachel: Okay, well if I stop playing with Joey and Chandler, can I play with Mark?
Phoebe: Okay, well if I was in this for the money, Id be a millionaire by now, y'know. You just got to get out of that jingle head sweetie.
Rachel: Y'know if what I do is so lame, then why did you insist on coming with me this morning? Huh? Was it so I just wouldnt go with Mark?
Ginger: Its okay if it bothers you. Really. I mean the only thing I need to know is: How much it bothers you? because I dont like wasting my time. Am I wasting my time?
Phoebe: No, look, I told you that I didnt want you to try and sell it, and you just, you big fat did it anyway. God, y'know what, I think five years ago I probably wouldve done anything to play with you but, I can do it by myself. And if I cant trust you then just forget it.
JOEY: Oh yeah, yeah, she's great, but... I kinda got the feeling that she was sort of... coming on to me. And I definitely would get the part if I would've... you know... if I would have sent the Little General in.
Monica: Oh my God, what would have done if I said yes?
Danny: I'm hungry. Wanna get some pizza? You can keep yelling if there's more.
Monica: (checks to see if it works) Yes, you are so smart! (Kisses him.)
Ross: Hey! Hey! If he's moving, maybe I should try to get his place!
Phoebe: No. (opens the box) wh - get off your sister! Oh my god, what are we gonna do? We have 7 rats. So what if each of them has 7 rats? And then each of those have 7 rats? That's like ... (starts counting with her fingers) That's math I can't even do! What are we gonna do?
MONICA: Rachel if you, if you want to go out with him, you can. Sound like a big jerk to me but if that's what you want to do...
Ross: If you don't believe me, let's go talk to him, okay? I'm telling you, he didn't ask me one paleontological question.
Phoebe: Wait-wait-wait-wait! So, explain something to me though, if, if nobody tagged Rachel, then isnt the play still going.
Phoebe: I would love it if I weren't here!
Chandler: And we just sit here. I mean if I die the only way people would even know I was here, would be by the ass print on this chair! Look, we have to do something. Okay? Something huge!
Monica: You know what would be real weird? Is if you werent there. Just say youll think about it, okay?
Ross: Oh, I know. Yknow what, I never wouldve gotten this if it werent for you. No really, when Im with you Im-Im like this whole other guy, I love that guy! I mean, I love you too, a lot, but that guy! I-I love that guy!
Monica: If it is a new message, what is he calling to say?
Phoebe: Okay, 'cause right after my mom killed herself, I was just in this really bad place, y'know personally. So, I just thought that it'd make me feel better if I wrote to Sesame Street, 'cause they were so nice when I was a little kid! No one ever wrote back.
Chandler: Look, Ross, you have what you want, youre back with Rachel. If you bring this up now youre gonna wreck the best thing that even happened to you.
ROSS: Yeah, so if you haven't already had it, chances are you're gonna get it.
Phoebe: You're not? Then why did you ask us if we wanted to go?
Joey: Eww! Look, I'm asking a favor here. If I do this for her brother, maybe Angela will come back to me.
Danny: Okay, listen, I really like you. Okay? I think this can go somewhere. So what if I'm close to my family, are you gonna let that stand in the way of us?
Monica: Aunt Syl, stop yelling! All I'm saying is that if you had told me vegetarian lasagna, I would have made vegetarian lasagna. (pauses, listens to person on phone) Well, the meat's only every third layer, maybe you could scrape.
Ross: Yeah, marriage... stinks! I mean if you wanna see a man gain weight and a woman stop shaving? Get them married.
Mr. Geller: I tell you one thing, I wouldn't mind having a piece of this sun-dried tomato business. Five years ago, if somebody had said to me, here's a tomato that looks like a prune, I'd say "get out of my office!"
Joey: Oh, you wouldn't know a great butt if it came up and bit ya.
Phoebe: But Im a professional! And Im really good! Look, if youre uncomfortable we can stop. Just give me a chance, okay. Please?
Chandler: Hey, you have to forget about Elizabeth. I mean if youre not careful you may not get married at all this year!
Rachel: What?! Wait a minute! No wait a minute! (She does so.) Okay? Look, that night was the one wild thing I have ever done in my entire life, and Im not gonna let you take that away from me! Okay, so if you dont remember that, maybe you will remember this! (She grabs Melissa and kisses her on the lips.)
Joey: Wow. Hey look, if it helps, I dont want to feel this way. Honest. I just keep thinking, "Ah, Ill get over this." Yknow? I justIt just keeps gettin harder. I dont, I dont know what to do. Yknow? What do I do?
Joey: (disappointed) Oh... oh, but that's ok, I'll find someone else to do it... I'll do it alone, but... I don't know what happens if the sea turtle catches you...
INTERVIEWER: And if I want to call for a reference on your last job?
Monica: You better believe he's tired, after the day we had! If you know what I mean. You know what I mean?
Phoebe: No I'm not. No! If anything I'm making you look better! They'll see you talking to me and that's--I'm a hit!
Phoebe: I'm sorry you guys but, you know, Mike's got his brother and his friends from school so... you know, you were-you were... if it helps you, you were next in line, you just-you just missed the cut.
Chandler: You are incredible. Unless, I�I�m not gonna smoke again. And if I do, I promise, I will hide it so much better from you. (they kiss)
Phoebe: Yeah but if we throw her a party on her birthday, then it's not a surprise.
Monica: Nah, while you're at Ross's if you see any lying around
Joey: That's great. Listen, wouldn't it be great though if I got to play Ben's dad?
Monica: See if he has ice.
Joey: All right, youre probably not gonna want to hear this but ah, if it was me, and this is just me, (Chandler gets ready to throw another dart) I would ah, I would bow out.
Monica: (shocked) Wow! All right well, I mean, what can you do? If you lost it you lost it.
Chandler: No, but waitwhat if I bought it from you, yknow? And your nice gesture would be giving it to me at a reasonable price, say (Gets choked up) $1,500?
RICHARD: If I have to I'll, I'll do all again , I'll do the 4 o'clock feeding thing, I'll go to the P.T.A. meetings, I'll coach the soccer team.
Ross: Well I'm sorry but you were! Okay? And besides if anyone should be hitting on her it's the guy who's single, the guy that who-who-who can do something about it.
JOEY: All right look.� (He walks to the hallway.)� If you can't come home and deal with this, then I'm gonna.
Rachel: Yeah, and you dont mind if I call, because you only want good things for me.
Chandler: Im sorry. (Pause) If you ask me, I'd move in with him.
Chandler: Well, Chandler will be there for you too. I mean, well, he might be a little late, but-but, hell be there. And hell bring you some cold soda, if want you need him for is that youre really hot.
Ross: Hey, you know what I just realized? If you guys ever have kids
Mrs. Geller: We might still have some money, if your father didnt think it was a good idea to sell ice over the Internet.
Joey: Hey Ross, wouldn't it be great if we could go two straight hours without dropping it?!
Phoebe: Well, if you don't... if you don't hold it in, you don't get all the nutrients.
Phoebe: Wow! And hey, its cool if youre a lesbian! (Gives her a thumbs up)
Chandler: Why are you in here if Joshua is all the way over there? (Points to the living room.)
Ross: Well if you can't remember, can't we just forget about this?
Janine: I was just coming over here to apologize for my behavior! Id really like it if we could be friends.
Joey: Not if you're gonna be like this!
Joey: Oh well, hey, Joeys loveable too! But the thing about Joey is, if you need him, hell be there.
Phoebe: Well, how about a compromise then, okay? What if its like yknow, Chanoey?
Ross: (he bounds into the lounge room) But you didn't! I'm still alive!! Kori, I know this is a big surprise for you. It's a long story but the things you just said really made my day! I mean, the fact that you are here means more to me than if this room were filled with people!
MR. TREEGER: Ahh, if it was mistletoe, I was gonna kiss ya.
Chandler: The only way that that is going to happen, is if the other couple are the Hitlers.
Rachel: Handling it? What do you mean, handling it? Theres nothing to handle. Now, maybe I would have a problem with this if it wasnt for me and Joshua. Yknow, theyre not gonna get married anyway!
Rachel: Uh, yeah, if you want too.
Gary: This witness won't return my calls so we're gonna see if we can surprise him coming home.
Rachel: Oh Ross, come on! This is not, this is not a marriage!! This is the worlds worst hangover! Ross, listen, if you do not get this annulment, I will!
Joey: Get out! I couldn't stop if a meteor hit me.
Monica: Boy, I love carrots! Oh! (She picks up a bunch of them and holds them between her fingers.) Sometimes I like to put them between my fingers like this and-and hold them down here while I talk to you. (She is rubbing her hip with the carrots.) Umm, and-and-and y'know if I get really hot umm, I-I like to pick up this knife (She picks up a knife without putting the box down. She's holding the box between her cheek and shoulder) and-and umm, I-I put the cold steal against umm, (Pause) my body. (She doesn't have any exposed skin within reach of the knife, so while holding the carrots in one hand and the box between her face and shoulder, she rubs the knife on her stomach.)
Phoebe: yeah I've nothing to be ashamed of ok so I haven't been in a relationship that lasted longer then a month. Ok I haven't had a real boyfriend you know if he can't handle that he can leave. which he will and that's ok. so I'll just be alone forever you know alright I'll be. it'll be fine. it'll be fine. I'll go walking tours with widows and lesbians. Oh (takes a deep breath and sits down, knock on the door)
Mark: Ahh! Fair, schmair! Y'know? Look, if you want to get back at Ross, I am here for you. Really? No-no, I say-I say, I say we get back at him right on this couch. Right here!
Monica: Y'know what really bothers me? Isit's how-how different you act around them! I mean y'know the throwing the tennis games, the fake laugh, the "I'll see you around, Bing!" "Not if I see you first, Doug!" (Mocks the fake laugh.) I gotta tell you, I don't like Work Chandler. Okay? The guy's a suck-up.
JADE: Hi, it's me. Listen, Bob. I'm probably way out of line here. I mean, It has been 3 years, and you're probably seeing someone else now, but if we could just have one night together, just for old time's sake, one hot, steamy, wild night...
JOEY: Well, I don't know. I don't know what we're gonna be doin'. I mean, what if we're at her folks' place?
Phoebe: Yeah, if you get married in Vegas, youre only married in Vegas.
Joey: Well look, Im breaking up with Katie so I had to put on some extra padding. Y'know? I mean, if she hits me when she's happy, can you imagine how hard she's gonna hit me when I tell her I'm taking away the Joey love?
Ross: Well, Carol says she and Susan want me to be involved, but if I'm not comfortable with it, I don't have to be involved.. basically it's entirely up to me.
Joey: How about Tony's? If you can finish a 32-ounce steak, it's free.
Ross: I dont know if its true.
Elizabeth: Yknow what daddy? If you dont like Ross, thats fine. It doesnt matter to me, Im gonna go out with him anyway.
Chandler: Well, what if all my stuff was here?
Joey: How about 'cause if you don't, his mother might.
Joey: Look, if Im bringing home a woman who cant stand being around a baby, then maybe I dont want to be with that woman! Or maybe well just do it in the bathroom of the club!
(When Rachel starts to look under the bed if Joey would fit under there, Chandler opens the door inbetween the rooms, grabs Joey by his shirt and drags him to his room, and closes the door again)
Rachel: Fine. Fine, but Ill have you know that once I taught him that stuff he called me Fun Aunt Rachel. And I loved being Fun Aunt Rachel but Ill go back to being Boring and Uncomfortable Aunt Rachel if thats what you want!
Joey: What if I smack my head on the concrete?
Rachel: Pheebs, if I had never met him this never would have happened!
Joey: Yeah. Listen uh, Id prefer it if you didnt call me Joey. Since I dont know anyone here, I thought itd be cool to try out a cool work nickname.
Joey: Like when I want a job, I go to an audition and if Im the best of the people they see, they give me the part.
Monica: Huh. So you're saying like umm, if there was an award for the best bad massage, well who would get that?
Phoebe: No he wont. And thats not even the point! Monica, I made a whole speech about you do not cancel plans with friends! And now yknow what? Just because, potentially, the love of my life comes back from Russia just for one night, I-I should change my beliefs?! I should change beliefs! No! No! No, if I dont have my principles, I dont have anything!
Rachel: Oh, you guys are gonna have so much fun! She's at such a cute age. Oh, a couple things. Now that she's eating solid food, she poops around the clock. And watch out for your hair, 'cause she likes to grab it. And oh, she's also in this phase where if you leave the room, she screams bloody murder, but ah... Thanks, you guys. Have fun!
Ross: Yeah, if youre really hungry. (Dr. Green stares at him) It was a joke, I made a joke.
Ross: Rach, come on, if you think about it, its actually kinda funny. (He laughs, and he laughs alone.) Okay, maybe its best not to think about it.
Joey: So! Things can go wrong! You dont know! What if he doesnt make it?!
Judge: Now if you were two involved in a serious relationship, that really creates a problem.
Joey: Hey OK great, what would you do if I did this? (Swings to punch Chandler, he moves and he ends up punching Ross, knocking him off the stool. Ross then gets up and just stares at Joey.)
Monica: Well, if you dont have anything to copy, why are you going down there?
Rachel: (to Ross) I can't believe you don't want to know. I mean, I couldn't not know, I mean, if, if the doctor knows, and Carol knows, and Susan knows....
Phoebe: Theres a reset button?! Ugh, thank you! Thank you! (He exits and she goes to shut it off.) Theres a reset button! My God! Why didnt I see that! (She takes off the plastic cover and looks for the button.) Reset button, reset button, where is there a reset button? (Finds it.) Oh here it is! (Picks it up off of the floor.) Oh! (She presses it hard, but of course it would help if the button was still attached to the detector. In frustration she presses it so hard it causes pain in her thumb.) Ohh, God!
Joey: And about this Nancy thing... If you're not sleeping with her, should I?
Phoebe: Okay, then you dont know what it feels like when one of them comes back. Do you? I believe this is my Mother. Even if Im wrong, who cares? Just be a friend. Okay? Be supportive.