words in movies
Phoebe: Yeah, but theres a two-year wait. And then what if you get engaged in two years and then you got to wait another two years for this place. Thats four years. Chandlers not gonna wait that long. Hes gonna find somebody else, yknow? Someone, someone who did put their name on the list. (Rachel agrees.)
Rachel: Yeah hon, it cant hurt to put your name down! I mean in if two years if youre not engaged you just dont use it.
Chandler: (on machine) Youve reached Monica and Chandlers, if youre listening to this message, were probably screening. (to himself) Yeah we are.
The Museum Official: (on phone) Hi, this is Heldi from the Morgan Chase museum. Im calling for Monica Geller. I want to let her know that there was a cancellation and if shes still interested in having the Bing-Geller wedding at our facility, it is available (Chandler runs to answer the phone.)
The Museum Official: (on machine) I want to let her know that there was a cancellation and if shes still interested in having the Bing-Geller wedding at our facility, it is available
Monica: Well, Im never gonna listen to you again, thats for sure! (Mimicking her.) "Yknow, harm can it do if you go and put your name down?"
[Scene: The Dry Cleaners, Joey and Phoebe are entering to see if his picture is on the wall.]
Paul: Let me just see if I got this straight. I tell you to stay away from my daughter or Ill have you fired. What you heard was, "Take my daughter, come up to my country house, and ruin my weekend with Rachel!"
Chandler: Yes, if it really doesnt mean anything, because you know that Im just not ready
Phoebe: Well, if you don't... if you don't hold it in, you don't get all the nutrients.
Phoebe: Wow! And hey, its cool if youre a lesbian! (Gives her a thumbs up)
Chandler: Why are you in here if Joshua is all the way over there? (Points to the living room.)
Ross: Well if you can't remember, can't we just forget about this?
Janine: I was just coming over here to apologize for my behavior! Id really like it if we could be friends.
Joey: Not if you're gonna be like this!
Joey: Oh well, hey, Joeys loveable too! But the thing about Joey is, if you need him, hell be there.
Phoebe: Well, how about a compromise then, okay? What if its like yknow, Chanoey?
Ross: (he bounds into the lounge room) But you didn't! I'm still alive!! Kori, I know this is a big surprise for you. It's a long story but the things you just said really made my day! I mean, the fact that you are here means more to me than if this room were filled with people!
MR. TREEGER: Ahh, if it was mistletoe, I was gonna kiss ya.
Chandler: The only way that that is going to happen, is if the other couple are the Hitlers.
Rachel: Handling it? What do you mean, handling it? Theres nothing to handle. Now, maybe I would have a problem with this if it wasnt for me and Joshua. Yknow, theyre not gonna get married anyway!
Rachel: Uh, yeah, if you want too.
Phoebe: Yeah, that was Leslie calling again to see if we can get back together. Thats the twentieth time today! And good luck Leslie!
Gary: This witness won't return my calls so we're gonna see if we can surprise him coming home.
Rachel: Oh Ross, come on! This is not, this is not a marriage!! This is the worlds worst hangover! Ross, listen, if you do not get this annulment, I will!
Joey: Get out! I couldn't stop if a meteor hit me.
Phoebe: yeah I've nothing to be ashamed of ok so I haven't been in a relationship that lasted longer then a month. Ok I haven't had a real boyfriend you know if he can't handle that he can leave. which he will and that's ok. so I'll just be alone forever you know alright I'll be. it'll be fine. it'll be fine. I'll go walking tours with widows and lesbians. Oh (takes a deep breath and sits down, knock on the door)
Monica: Boy, I love carrots! Oh! (She picks up a bunch of them and holds them between her fingers.) Sometimes I like to put them between my fingers like this and-and hold them down here while I talk to you. (She is rubbing her hip with the carrots.) Umm, and-and-and y'know if I get really hot umm, I-I like to pick up this knife (She picks up a knife without putting the box down. She's holding the box between her cheek and shoulder) and-and umm, I-I put the cold steal against umm, (Pause) my body. (She doesn't have any exposed skin within reach of the knife, so while holding the carrots in one hand and the box between her face and shoulder, she rubs the knife on her stomach.)
Mark: Ahh! Fair, schmair! Y'know? Look, if you want to get back at Ross, I am here for you. Really? No-no, I say-I say, I say we get back at him right on this couch. Right here!
Monica: Y'know what really bothers me? Isit's how-how different you act around them! I mean y'know the throwing the tennis games, the fake laugh, the "I'll see you around, Bing!" "Not if I see you first, Doug!" (Mocks the fake laugh.) I gotta tell you, I don't like Work Chandler. Okay? The guy's a suck-up.
JADE: Hi, it's me. Listen, Bob. I'm probably way out of line here. I mean, It has been 3 years, and you're probably seeing someone else now, but if we could just have one night together, just for old time's sake, one hot, steamy, wild night...
Phoebe: Yeah, if you get married in Vegas, youre only married in Vegas.
Joey: Well look, Im breaking up with Katie so I had to put on some extra padding. Y'know? I mean, if she hits me when she's happy, can you imagine how hard she's gonna hit me when I tell her I'm taking away the Joey love?
Ross: Well, Carol says she and Susan want me to be involved, but if I'm not comfortable with it, I don't have to be involved.. basically it's entirely up to me.
Joey: How about Tony's? If you can finish a 32-ounce steak, it's free.
Ross: I dont know if its true.
JOEY: Well, I don't know. I don't know what we're gonna be doin'. I mean, what if we're at her folks' place?
Chandler: Well, what if all my stuff was here?
Elizabeth: Yknow what daddy? If you dont like Ross, thats fine. It doesnt matter to me, Im gonna go out with him anyway.
Joey: Look, if Im bringing home a woman who cant stand being around a baby, then maybe I dont want to be with that woman! Or maybe well just do it in the bathroom of the club!
(When Rachel starts to look under the bed if Joey would fit under there, Chandler opens the door inbetween the rooms, grabs Joey by his shirt and drags him to his room, and closes the door again)
Rachel: Fine. Fine, but Ill have you know that once I taught him that stuff he called me Fun Aunt Rachel. And I loved being Fun Aunt Rachel but Ill go back to being Boring and Uncomfortable Aunt Rachel if thats what you want!
Joey: How about 'cause if you don't, his mother might.
Joey: What if I smack my head on the concrete?
Rachel: Pheebs, if I had never met him this never would have happened!
Joey: Like when I want a job, I go to an audition and if Im the best of the people they see, they give me the part.
Monica: Huh. So you're saying like umm, if there was an award for the best bad massage, well who would get that?
Phoebe: No he wont. And thats not even the point! Monica, I made a whole speech about you do not cancel plans with friends! And now yknow what? Just because, potentially, the love of my life comes back from Russia just for one night, I-I should change my beliefs?! I should change beliefs! No! No! No, if I dont have my principles, I dont have anything!
Joey: Yeah. Listen uh, Id prefer it if you didnt call me Joey. Since I dont know anyone here, I thought itd be cool to try out a cool work nickname.
Rachel: Oh, you guys are gonna have so much fun! She's at such a cute age. Oh, a couple things. Now that she's eating solid food, she poops around the clock. And watch out for your hair, 'cause she likes to grab it. And oh, she's also in this phase where if you leave the room, she screams bloody murder, but ah... Thanks, you guys. Have fun!
Ross: Rach, come on, if you think about it, its actually kinda funny. (He laughs, and he laughs alone.) Okay, maybe its best not to think about it.
Joey: So! Things can go wrong! You dont know! What if he doesnt make it?!
Judge: Now if you were two involved in a serious relationship, that really creates a problem.
Joey: Hey OK great, what would you do if I did this? (Swings to punch Chandler, he moves and he ends up punching Ross, knocking him off the stool. Ross then gets up and just stares at Joey.)
Monica: Well, if you dont have anything to copy, why are you going down there?
Ross: Yeah, if youre really hungry. (Dr. Green stares at him) It was a joke, I made a joke.
Phoebe: Theres a reset button?! Ugh, thank you! Thank you! (He exits and she goes to shut it off.) Theres a reset button! My God! Why didnt I see that! (She takes off the plastic cover and looks for the button.) Reset button, reset button, where is there a reset button? (Finds it.) Oh here it is! (Picks it up off of the floor.) Oh! (She presses it hard, but of course it would help if the button was still attached to the detector. In frustration she presses it so hard it causes pain in her thumb.) Ohh, God!
Rachel: (to Ross) I can't believe you don't want to know. I mean, I couldn't not know, I mean, if, if the doctor knows, and Carol knows, and Susan knows....
Joey: And about this Nancy thing... If you're not sleeping with her, should I?
Phoebe: Okay, then you dont know what it feels like when one of them comes back. Do you? I believe this is my Mother. Even if Im wrong, who cares? Just be a friend. Okay? Be supportive.
[Scene: Monica's eye doctor's office, Monica and Rachel are waiting in an exam room and looking at this big white thing used to check eyes. I have no idea what it is, and if an ophthalmologist happens to know what that is, let me know.]
Monica: (angrily) That is exactly why I do not lend you stuff!! (Rachel looks over at Phoebe in resignation.) Okay?! I mean, first it's my jewelry! And if it's not my jewelry, it's-it's my blue sweater! And if it's not my sweater, it's my sunglasses!
Chandler: Oh my God! If you say that one more time, Im gonna break up with you!
Phoebe: Umm, my friend, Bonnie. She just always thought Ross was really cute, and now that you two arent together, she asked if I could set it up, but if youre not cool with it...
Ross: They don't like it when you keep asking them if they like you.
Joey: Oh and (Ross begins to open the door and Joey says some gibberish word to indicate to Ross that hes not done yet. Ross closes the door again.) Okay, and uh if anyone needs help pretending to like it, I learned something in acting class, try uh, rubbing your stomach (Rubs his stomach) or uh, or saying mmm and uh, oh oh! And smiling (Smiles while pretending to stir a bowl), okay?
Ross: I I do, I do not love Rachel. Im gonna tell her right now about the whole thing so we can get this marriage annulled as fast as possible. Okay? Would I do that if I loved her?
Janine: Well, if thats what you want. Ill just put it all in my room.
Joey: Great Great and thanks for being so understanding. I mean, I didnt want to make a big deal out of this, you know. (She starts to collect all the girlie stuff up.) You could, uh, put the picture of the famous baby in my room. I mean, if you want to.
Rachel: They sent me home from work. They were like, "Start your maternity leave now! Just rest, get ready for the baby." Well yknow what? Screw em! If they dont want me there, Ill just hang out with you guys.
Monica: Umm, actually I was about to tell you that I was, I was going to get out of it, but hey, if we're just goofing around then uh, maybe I will go out with him.
Joey: Look, Ross, really its-its no big deal. Yknow you wear a white coat, I wear a blue blazer, if that means we cant be friends at work, then so be it. Yknow, hey I understand. Yknow? Hey, when Im in a play and youre in the audience, I dont talk to you, right? So its yknow, its uh, its cool. Ill see you tomorrow. (Leaves)
Joey: Yeah, Chandler finds me so intimdating that its better if were on the same team.
Chandler: (entering, slowly) Yknow I was thinking, what if I uh, unpack here?
JOEY: Uh, well, kinda yeah. Like, remember last week when Alex was in the accident? Well the line in the script was, 'If we don't get this woman to a hospital, she's going to die.' But I made it, ' If this woman doesn't get to a hospital, she's not gonna live.'
Monica: Ross, if you dont tell them, then I will!
Mr. Geller: All-right fine, but I just want to say, Im not paying for your wine cellar. You thieving, would be speaking German if it werent for us, cheap little man. (Emilys stepmum looks shocked. Jack and Judy get up and leave.)
Monica: Oh y'know what? If you're gonna be acting like this all night, I really, I don't even want to be around you.
Phoebe: If you could do that, Id marry the hippity-hop.
Phoebe: Uh huh! If its a girl, Phoebe, and if its a boy, Phoebo!
Chandler: No. And if I did, I don't think we'd be going out. Monica, this is getting ridiculous!
CHANDLER: Wow, that's lucky. What if her name was Big Ugly Splotch?
Chandler: Alright, lo�look. I don�t smoke anymore. But if the rest of you want to light up, go ahead, it�s fine. (everyone lights up) So you all smoke then? That�s almost rude, that I�m not.
Ross: Wait a minute! I saw that! On The Discovery Channel, yeah! About jellyfish and how if you... (stops suddenly and turns to look at Monica) Ewwww!! You peed on yourself?!
Monica: Excuse me, sir, would it help if I werent wearing underpants?
Tall Guy: No, no. Shes fair game if you ask me, sorry buddy!
Alice: Oh no-no, never say that. If we cant get it out then we can cut around the stain, add a little lace, you make a stylish throw.
Kim: (to Nancy) So we talked about the (Chandler sneaks closer to her cigarette) whole presentation yesterday at lunch (Closer) and he wondered if one person would be enough (Closer) to get a take on the trip (Still closer) and I said, "Yeah, absolutely!" (She's interrupted by Chandler who has reached his goal and takes a drag from her cancer stick.)
Chandler: Yes, if the presents are hidden south for the winter.
Joey: Priesthood! Look Ross, I'm telling you, she has no idea what you're thinking. If you don't ask her out soon you're going to end up stuck in the zone forever.
Ross: Hey, yknow if you want to pick up some extra cash? Some friends of mine made good money doing telemarketing.
Chandler: Oh, its not important? Its not important?! If it wasnt for a brides maid youd be marrying him (Points to Joey) not me!
Chandler: Thanks. What, let me have her?! What do mean? Like if you didnt I wouldnt have a shot?
Joey: Yeah that really calms me down. And! We have so much in common! She loves sandwiches, sports, although she is a Met fan, not much of an issue now but if were ever to have kids, well thats a
Monica: No, they gave us glasses with lipstick on them! I mean, if they didn't change the glasses, who knows what else they didn't change. (He glares at her.) Come on sweetie, I just want this weekend to be perfect, I mean we can change rooms, can't we?
Paula: Honey.. you should always feel the thing. Listen, if that's how you feel about the guy, Monica, dump him!
Monica: I mean theyre trying to do everything they can to make me quit, and if there were any other job, I would. But this is something Ive been waiting for my whole life.
Ross: I just wanna say good-bye to you guys and to see if you guys will place a little bet for me, huh? Twenty bucks on black 15.
Interviewer: Okay, well give a call if anything comes up.
Chandler: I don’t know what you mean, giant talking cigarette! Oh, by the way, Phoebe called just as I was getting into Nancy’s car, so if she asks you, I was at work all day.
Chandler: If you need money, will you please-please just let me loan you some money?
Gunther: Well, if you want, you can work here.
Joey: Well, I'm sorry if I'm not a middle-aged black woman! (Starts for his room.) And I'm also sorry if sometimes I go to the wrong audition! Okay, look, if I have to pretend I don't know about you two, then you two are gonna have to pretend there's nothing to know about.
PHOEBE: Alright, now I will let go if you both stop.
Chandler: (To Monica) If this is the way all the Gellers flirt, we don't have a problem.
Joey: If you want, Ill sell my friends and use the money to buy you presents.
Phoebe: Okay, I'm gonna go too. I'm gonna go to the airport. I figure if I hang around there long enough, someone's bound to leave one of those planes unattended.
Rachel: Well yknow, some people make deals with a friend, like if neither of them are married by the time theyre 40, they marry each other.
Phoebe: But are you saying that you would move out if I didnt buy that lamp?