words in movies
Chandler: Look Ross, if you don't know them by now, you will never know them, okay? That is the beauty of this game. It makes you want to kill yourself.
Chandler: Okay, but if you can't no dinner!
Tag: I, uh, wanted to see if your offer to spend Thanksgiving with you is still good.
Chandler: Extremely allergic, okay? If I'm anywhere near a dog for more than 5 minutes, my throat will just close up!
Monica: Chandler, if that dog's been here that long, and you haven't had a reaction, maybe you're not allergic to this dog?
Chandler: (to Joey) I have to! Okay? It's time! (Joey shrugs as if to say, "Do what you have to do") Okay, I hate dogs.
Joey: All right, Rach, the big question is, does he like you? All right? Because if he doesn't like you, this is all a moo-point.
Tag: It's weird. I always used to assume, that I would meet someone and fall in love and be happy and all that was just a given. But lately it's like what if it's not. Do you ever have that feeling?
Rachel: Yeah, I admit it. I have a crush on you, and uh, and, and I know that's crazy because we work together, and-and nothing could ever happen, and the last thing I want to do is-is to freak you out or make you feel uncomfortable. Which is why it would be really great if you said something right about now.
Phoebe: You know if you want, we can sneak the dog back in and Chandler wouldn't even know.
Chandler: Yeah, I can be a hero, I could do that. I could, I could do... I, w-w-what if, what if it attacks me?
Joey: If you said it like that, you probably did, yeah.
Joey: I'll kick that door in if you give me a little sugar.
Chandler: What if Mary-Angela comes to the door and I ask for Mary-Angela?
FRANK: Yeah hey, you know if you want I can take you around back and show you where he hit his head on the rain gutter.
Stanley: It-it's probably just temporary. We're hoping to get some more money soon, so if could just uh, hang out.
MONICA: Really?� But tomorrow night is the only night I get off from the restaurant.� If you go to the game, we won't have a night together for another week.
Joey: Listen also were uh, were watching the game here Saturday night, if people want to come over.
Joey: (comes out holding the tape) Here's how I know you didn't watch the tape, ok? (puts it into the vcr) If you had seen what was on this tape, believe me, you would have some comments. Alright, now remember, I got paid a lot of money for this and it only aired in Japan. (presses play and he appears on the TV screen and a TV commercial begins)
Chandler: Yeah, Joe, I assure you if I'm staring down the barrel of a gun, I'm pretty much peeing every which way.
Ross: I grew up with Monica! If you didnt eat fast you didnt eat!!
[Time lapse: Ross looks likes he's been trying to fix his computer but just closes it as if giving up]
Chandler: All right, wait! Come on! Just wait one second! There has to be something that I can do! Something! If we still had that entertainment unit I would get in it for six hours and think about how I let you down. (Joey looks intrigued) What?
Ross: You know what, its, its better this way anyway. I mean I dont know what I was thinking, going down that road again with us. Its just much easier if were just friends who have a kid.
Chandler: No, I invited him to dinner so you could get a chance to get to know him! I mean, if we go through a sperm bank you never meet the guy, get to check him out.
Chandler: Well, if it helps there were only three. So it would just be for tonight, right?
MONICA: Alright, I tell you what, I'll give this to you now if you can tell me where we keep the dustpan.
Ross: Kristen, hi. Are you uh, new to the area, cause if you are Id love to show you around sometime.
Joey: I-I-I don't know if this falls under this category, but uh, Ross is right back there. (Points over his shoulder.)
Rachel: Why you guys this isn't funny, all right? If I wanted this cake to be a disaster I would have baked it myself!
Joey: Theres just so much pressure. I mean no offense, but what you guys do is very different. I dont know if youd understand.
Rachel: Well, uhm... whatever, I have really appreciated it, 'cause I don’t think I would be the person that I am today if it wasn’t for you guys. See, I wanna help Amy the way you guys helped me. And I know it’s gonna take patience, but that’s ok.
Rachel: Okay. (The nurse exits.) Oh man, I swear if they sold these at Pottery Barn
Rachel: But honey he calls everybody by a nickname! Okay, look, I know, all right, just one dinner, please, just one night for me, please. I just want him to love you like I do. (Ross looks at her) All right, well not exactly like I do, but, but, if you do come to dinner, Ill love you like I do in that black thing that you like.
Rachel: Look, you guys... this is really, really important to me. And it means a lot if you could try to get on board.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Die Hard has ended, only I dont think Joey and Ross know that yet. As you see, they are both asleep. And theyre on the same couch. Which means theyre sleeping together. Not like Joey is at one end and Ross is on the other, they both happen to be lying down and sleeping together. Well, there hasnt been any clothes removed so not that kind of sleeping together. Not that theres anything wrong with that. That is unless youre a Republican in which that kind of thing will bring about the downfall of Western society, especially if they should happen to want to get married. Anyway, let me recap. No, there is too much, let me sum up. Ross and Joey are taking a nap together on top of each other and both wake-up at the same time, realize what they just did, scream, and jump up.]
Phoebe: (to the woman behind her) This place is so depressing. If I had to work here I'd kill myself. (she turns around and the clerk behind the counter heard her.) But you obviously haven't.
Chandler: If you said, "Big lima bean, bubbling up." Would she understand the difference?
Monica: Oh, is that so? Ok. If that's really what you want, then here... I give you the headset. Well, I don't really want to give you the headset. Well I guess if you're taking over, you should probably return these messages. (hands her a stack of papers with messages and calls to return)
Rachel: Okay! Okay wait! You listen to me! You listen to me! Since I have been waiting four women, thats four, one higher than the number of centimeters that I am dilated, have come and gone with their babies! Im next! Its my turn! Its only fair! And if you bring in one woman and she has her baby before me Im going to sue you! Not this hospital, Im going to sue you! And my husband (Points at Ross) hes a lawyer!
Ross: Weird? What? What's weird? The only thing weird would be if someone didn't like Mexican food, because I'm making fajitas!! (Storms off.)
Monica: Okay, if you need the vacuum, its in my closet on the left-hand side. Ah, the garbage bags are next to the refrigerator
Rachel: What if, um, if he calls his own cell phone to find out who found it and I answer and we start talking and we fell in love. I mean wouldn't that be a great story? Kind of like a fairy tale for the digital age.
Monica: Hey! Do you think that we can get to the subway right there if we climb down through the manhole cover?
Phoebe: And yknow, even if they break up again, youd better not let him in your sad mens club!
Ross: No. No. No, I'm-I'm glad you did. Look, if nothing else, it's-it's always great when someone tells you they love you.
Joey: Of course! Only an idiot would wear this stuff if you didnt have the car! Right?
Rachel: Oh, uh, Joanna I was wondering if I could ask you something. Theres an opening for an assistant buyer in Junior Miss
Monica: What? Wait! Why? (He turns and heads for the door and she chases after him.) Chandler! Chandler! Wait! Im sorry, I was just playing for one second! I was trying to find you to tell you that, look if you don't want me to see Richard again, I won't! He means nothing to me!
Rachel: Really! What is with that guy? I mean you'd forgive me if I fogged you.
Waiter: Well, if you stay till 9:20, I am.
JADE: Hello, I'm looking for Bob. This is Jane. I don't know if you're still at this number, but I was just thinking about us, and how great it was, and, well, I know it's been three years, but, I was kinda hoping we could hook up again. I barely had t he nerve to make this call, so you know what I did?
Joey: Man, if anyone asked me to give up any of you, I couldn't do it.
Phoebe: No! Rachel, thats what they want me to do. My warranty expires tomorrow, if I dont get through, theyre not gonna fix my crappy, broken phone for free! We cannot let them win! Its us versus them!
JOEY: Really, hey, you mind if I turn the heat down?
ROSS: Oh, oh my God, is this the wrong day? I don't believe it, uh, well, hey, I guess if it works out we'll, we'll have something to tell the grandkids.
Ross: Hey, hey, hey... If you two are happy, then I'm happy for you. (Squeaky.) I'm fine!
Joey: If you ask me, as long as you got this job, youve got nothing pushing you to get another one. You need the fear.
Monica: Okay, Ill rest. But yknow if Im going to bed, then youre coming with me.
The Cooking Teacher: If youre a professional chef, what are you doing taking Introduction to Cooking?
Rachel: Okay, Ill see you back at home, if I ever get a flight out of here.
Ms. McKenna: Ok if everyones on board, its settled, Chandler, (Walter puts his hand on Chandlers hand, Chandler sleeping puts his hand on top of his, he then wakes up and pulls his hand away) Chandler?
Joey's Hand Twin: (To Joey) If you leave now, I will chop off my hand and give it too you!
RICHARD: See, if anyone overheard that, I didn't come off well.
Monica: Do you think things would have been better if you'd just told her the truth?
Cop: Okay, so since umm, you're not going to jail tonight I was wondering if you would like to go to dinner with me?
JOEY: Hey, if she were marrying a guy, she'd be like the worst lesbian ever.
Erica: Well, if there is anything else you wanna know... (Monica and Chandler look at each other)
Mike: I always wanted to play piano professionally, and I figured if I don't do this now, I never will.
Chandler: Hey Ross, I was wondering if Oh my God!! Where are all the men???
Ross: Look, even if I were gonna tell her, I don't have to do it now. Okay? I'll be seeing her again. We've got time.
Chandler: If they cant find a home for her, they kill her! And Im not gonna let that happen to little Yasmine!
[Scene: Central Perk, ??????? is playing, as Chandler peaks his head out of the storage closet and sneaks back to his seat and pretends he's reading something. Then a short while later Monica pokes her head out of the closet and sneaks back to her seat and sits down, pretending as if nothing has happened.]
MONICA: No no no, if I couldn't pay you back right away then I'd feel guilty and tense every time I saw you.
PHOEBE: Now OK, I haven't seen it yet so, if you don't like it, well, so what, none of you ever made a video. [puts the tape in] OK.
Phoebe: He says, that he would cremate my fur coat for free if I umm, y'know, bring in the next person I know who dies.
Chandler: Well, if were gonna do that we should come up with some kind of order. Yknow alphabetically or by genre?
Phoebe: Umm, okay, okay, look. I took this picture from your fridge. Okay, because I know that this is my Father. Yeah, this is Frank Buffay and you are standing right there next to him. Now, look I deserve to know where I came from. All right? So if you can help me find my Father then you should! Otherwise, youre just mean! (pause) So, just tell me the truth!
Chandler: If I help, we can find 'em faster!
Monica: What are you talking about? If you get married in Vegas youre married everywhere.
Phoebe: Wait okay, if this game is gonna cause problems between the two of you, then maybe I should just keep it.
Ross: Well, if whats in the bottle is actually 30. I mean sometimes you get 30, sometimes its-its get 4, and I swear to God more often than not its just milk.
Monica: Okay? (To a different group) Over here we have pink suede, which is nice. But umm, if it gets wet then you know its gonna shrink.
Emily: Ohh, I dont think so. I mean it would be different if it was way into the future and-and-and we were getting married or something.
Monica: Well you let me know if you can, because yknow I can bake a pie to cover it.
Monica: We have too! I mean what if Ross's hears that and then calls her back and then they get back together? Is that what you want? Ross back with that controlling, neurotic, crazy Emily? The Emily that wouldn't let him see you?
Chandler: Hey, yknow what, if youre gonna do that, if youre gonna name him Joey, you should name him Chandler. (Phoebe doesnt think so.) Oh, come on! Chandlers funny, sophisticated, and hes very loveable, once you get to know him.
Ross: Look, if she's talking to it, I just think that I should get some belly time too. Not that I believe any of this.
Phoebe: (shouting as he leaves) If you never smoke again I'll give you seven thousand dollars!
Monica: (grabs the guitar away from her) No, Phoebe, Ill tell you what, if you get ready now Ill let you play it at the wedding.
Monica: Okay, just stay there a couple more hours and if she doesnt show up by then, then just come on home.
Monica: Umm, okay. If its a boy its Daniel.
Monica: What?! Ross y'know this isnt even about you! I mean this is about Rachel and something wonderful happening for her. I mean you know even if youre right, what if he wants to sleep with her, does it mean he gets too?
Phoebe: Yeah! Sure! Yep! (Gets up) Oh, y'know what? If I heard a shot right now, I'd throw my body on you.
Ursula: Wait! If umm, if you want to come, I guess thatd be okay.
Monica: That is a wonder. So tell me something, Mom. If you had to do it all over again, I mean, if she was here right now, would you tell her?
Monica: Oh good God! If you want a baby so bad just go steal it!
Joey: No way! Kay look, if I have to go to the doctor for anything its gonna be for this thing sticking out of my stomach! (Rolls over and shows Chandler.)
Joey: Well, I've never been through the tunnel myself, 'cause as I understand it, you're not allowed to go through with more than one girl in the car, right. But, it seems to me it's pretty much like anything else, you know, face your fear. It have a fear of heights, you go to the top of the building! If you're afraid of bugs.....get a bug. Right. In this case, you have a fear of commitment, so I say you go in there and be the most committed guy there ever was.
Joey: Oh Monica, listen, I ah, I saw down at the hardware store, they got those designer tiles on sale. If you ever want to redo the bathroom floor.
Rachel: I'm not gonna tell you, but if you found out on your own, that would be okay and then we could talk about it. Right?
Ross: That was just the pants on the couch. Umm, hey, do you, do you mind if I use your bathroom?
Chandler: Ya know if you want to, I can just hold them down and you could (Punches the air).
Chandler: Well, what if we just ah, called her, used a fake name, and had her come to my office?
Phoebe: There we go.You know what, if we were in prison, you guys would be, like, my bitches.
Chandler: Y'know, if you're gonna work late, I could look in on him for you.
JOEY: Phoebs look, if you want to know what the deal is, you're just gonna have to ask him.
Chandler: If I'd known you guys were coming over, I would have brought more pizza. (they all burst out in a thundering laugh)
Rachel: Yeah. Just, if its possible, could you leave him somewhere and go have sex with another guy?
CHANDLER: If you guys feel this big, maybe that's not our fault. Maybe that's just how you feel.
RACHEL: Oh give me , , ,� (Phoebe gives Rachel the phone.)� Hi, Mike?� Hi.� Listen.� I know this is a lot to ask, but you know what?� If you do this I . . . Phoebe will . . . do anything you want.� Seriously, I'm talking dirty stuff.
Monica: Okay, Ive got a question. If you had to pick one of us to date, who would it be?