words in movies
Ross: Oh! I thought you guys got married in uh, January?
Jason: ...and I know I'll never miss doing it, but I gotta tell you, it's pretty cool knowing that you're making a difference in a kid's life.
Chandler: Now, Monica, you know that's not how you look for an engagement ring in a lasagne...
[Scene: Ross's bedroom, Ross is working and Rachel is reading a book in bed]
MNCA: Chandler, I'm unemployed and in dire need of a project. Ya wanna work out? I can remake you.
Joey: Shhh! This is a museum, no talking. Right down here, (Motions to a fossilised dinosaur foot.) we have a large foot. (Sees Ross working in one of the display cases.) Uhh, and over here we have Ross Geller. (Knocks on the glass) Everyone wave Hi to Ross. Ross is one of our most important scientists, look at him, hard at work. (Ross does the old "Putting a cigarette in your ear and pulling it out of your mouth trick.") Okay, moving right along. Come on.
MONICA: Look. [they look at Joey in the kitchen with a cigar in his mouth, looking at his reflection in a spatula] Joey, do you know we can see you from here?
Chandler: (to Monica) Actually hes the smallest person in the world.
Joey: Yeah, and not put us in the middle.
Dick Clark: (on TV) Hi, this is Dick Clark, live in Times Square. We're in a virtual snowstorm of confetti here in Times Square...
Monica: Really. Well, at least 'big girls' don't pee in their pants in seventh grade!
Gunther: (to Chandler) Oh, no-no, no-no-no, theres none of that in here.
Monica: I cant leave it! You gouged a hole in my dingy floor.
(Ross lets them both sit in his chair.)
Chandler: If that doesnt keep kids in school, what will?
Joey: (lying on a beach towel, recapping what happened in the last episode) Okay, so we went to the beach, because Phoebe found out about this lady who knew her mom and dad, and I dont really know what happened with that.
Alice: Uhh, we were just in the neighbourhood, so
Billy: Like when you go bowling and you know youre in somebody elses shoes?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Dr. Burke are sitting on the couch. He's showing her the pictures in his wallet.]
[Scene: Monica, Fun Bobby, and Phoebe sitting in Central Perk Rachel is serving them. She brings a mug to Monica.]
Phoebe: Okay. Whoa, sorry. Why were you just like all in the dark?
Chandler: Me too. I wanna find a baby that needs a home and I wanna raise it with you. And I wanna mess it up in our own specific way.
All: ...Hey! You're in a play! I didn't know you could dance! You had a beard!
Monica: (in the hallway) So, where do you want to go?
Joey: Wow! Theres a lot I didnt know about vomit. (The duck comes to the door of the bathroom, quacking.) (To the duck) In a minute. (The duck goes back into the bathroom.)
Alice: None the less. Umm, youre too young to, to really know what you want. (They embrace in a passionate kiss.)
Chandler: But you did like us. And you should. My wife's an incredible woman. She's loving and devoted and caring. And don't tell her I said this but the woman's always right... I love my wife more than anything in this world. And I... It kills me that I can't give her a baby... I really want a kid. And when that day finally comes, I'll learn how to be a good dad. But my wife... she's already there. She's a mother... without a baby... Please?
Joey: (very satisfied and smiling) That's what I wanted to hear! Because she's family, ok, and now you're gonna be family, and there is nothing more important in the whole world, than family.
(He bends over to pick them up, right in front of Rachel, who then gets a free peep show.)
Ross: Yes, it was the trophy you got if you won the game. But our Dad said, nobody won that game, and he was sick of our fighting, so he took the trophy and.... (pauses to collect himself, as he is on the verge of tears saying this) threw it in the lake.
PHOEBE: [Standing in living room with Chandler and Joey. She pulls a huge bathing suit out of a box] Hey, Mon, what is this?
(An old West style showdown starts with Joey and the Hombre Man staring each other down as the store guy slowly lets in the first customer while Joey and the Hombre Man get ready to draw. In slow motion they spot the customer, eye each other, draw, and as the customer walks into the middle Joey's bottle misfires but the Hombre Man spays it into the customer's eyes.)
Phoebe: Huh, well, the girls in the satin nighties on the commercial dont seem to think its that bad.
[Scene: A restaurant in Rome, Monica is paying for the pizza.]
Ross: Well, Im just saying, I mean why else would he just, y'know, swoop in out of nowhere for no reason.
Phoebe: (singing) I stepped in something icky.
(Gunther tries to swoop in to ask Rachel out.)
Ross: So Rachel called. Wants to see me. Going over in a minute.
Phoebe: (On the phone, in New York) Uh, hello, this is Ross Gellers personal physician, Dr. Philange.
SUSIE: Oh, shoot, we gotta go, got a reservation in 30 minutes.
Chandler: Pretty well. Except for the stapler thing. (He holds up a bandaged hand.) Little tip: if youre ever in a similar situation, never ever leave your hand... (he mimes Nina taking her revenge) ..on the desk.
Joey: Oh thats okay. Hey, actually in a way its kinda nice. Me, bringing the food of my ancestors, you, the food of yours!
Janice: (Ross is still taking their photo) Oh, I'm gonna blow this one up, and I'm gonna write 'Reunited' in glitter.
Kate: It doesnt say that in the script.
Joey: It does in mine!
MONICA: Really? I'm perfectly comfortable. [one of the guest opens the refrigerator] Hey, hey, hey, get in line buddy, I was next. [she opens the refrigerator and leans into it]
(Joey whispers in Rachels ear to confirm his response.)
Phoebe: Yeah! Let's do it! Let's live together! (They embrace and Mike kisses Phoebe) Oh god, we're really going to move in together!
Ross: Mona? (Theres no answer, so he starts to leave but remembers where her extra key is. He reaches atop a hall light just outside her door and grabs the key. He looks at in triumph as the pain from it being hot moves along his nervous system to his brain, and when it arrives his brain orders his hand to drop the hot key and his mouth to squeal in pain. After dropping the key he pulls his shirtsleeve over his hand and uses the key to open the door and enter Monas apartment.) Okay, if I were a salmon shirt, where would I be? (He hears a key in the door and as it opens he dives behind the couch.)
(Kathy runs in, hair all out of place, and hugs Monica.)
The Director: (leaning in) Kate?
Chandler: Does he say that before he sticks his thermometer in your touchy?
Monica: Y'know in a weird way, you have too much power. Look, youre gonna have to help me out here, cause I only have three.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Phoebe and Chandler are sitting in the black chairs.]
(Ross starts stuffing pinecones in the suitcase. As the receptionist walks in, Chandler makes a bird's verse and Ross stops)
Rachel: Man in the black dress (Monica walks away and Rachel looks around to find a woman in a black dress.) (To her) Hi! Im Rachel! Im a friend of Monica and Chandlers!
MR. WINEBURG: It's so wonderful to see you again, my dear, in fact I hardly expected to see so much.
CHAN: And we're changing. [jogs back in his apartment]
Joey: You guys have one of those signs that says: 'We don't swim in your toilet, so don't pee in our pool.', you know.
[Cut to the tape Joey made in front of some famous place in London with a rather famous English-type person.]
Phoebe: Okay, (starts to pack up her stuff) fine. Come dinosaur, were not welcome in the house of no imagination.
MONICA: I'm just easing you in.
RACHEL: Oh my God this is sooo humiliating. I think the only thing that tops that was, was, was when I was in the eight grade and I had to sing the Copa Cabana in front of the entire school. I think I got about two lines into it before I ran and freaked out. Oh my God, my entire life is flashing before my eyes.
Joey: It's a rented tux. Okay. I'm not gonna go commando in another man's fatigues.
Kate: I cant believe we go on in, in a week.
Rachel: That's right! 'Cause that would give him the control! So now he's all ooh, coming up with this whole I've got a party thing y'know, trying to get me to hint around for an invitation. Blew up in his face, didn't it?
Chandler: Look out kids, hes coming! (Ross continues to leave with his head down in shame.)
Erica: Well, it turns out that Erica didn't pay much attention in Sex Ed class, because the thing she did with that prison guy... it'd be pretty hard to make a baby that way.
Kate: Yeah, thats pretty much what I had in mind.
Phoebe: Wow, I have the spirit of an old Indian women living in mine.
Rachel: Honey um, honey, you do realise that we dont keep the womens lingerie here in the office?
NOTE: For this episode, I'm using italics to signify portions contained in the prom video.
Phoebe: Your hair looks too good, I think it would upset her. Ross, why don't you come on in.
The Doctor: Hes doing just fine, hes resting now, but you can see him in a little bit.
Phoebe: All right. All right! If he wants a date? He's gonna get a date. All right, I'm gonna go in.
Rachel: What the hell is that?!! (to Monica) What the hell is that? Is that you? (Monica nods her head no, and Rachel realizes what is making that sound.) Ohhhhhhh! (storms over to Chandler and Joeys with Monica in trail.)
Ross: Sorry I ah, I scared you in there.
JOEY: Well, you know that guy that's on my show that's in a coma? He's havin' a brunch.
(The women all clap and start to leave as Ross comes up to the instructor. Apparently he was hiding in the back.)
Rachel: So whos idea was it to put everybody in the diner on skates?
Joey: Joey Tribbiani! From the wall! (The dry cleaner doesnt remember) Okay, maybe this will jog your memory, huh? (Holds his picture up in front of his face.) Huh? Okay eh-ah-anyway, Im ready to go back up on the wall Im the star of a new TV show.
Chandler: This guy invented Moss 865! Every office in the world uses that program!
Joey: Hey, how much cash do you got in your pocket right now?
Rachel: Yeah, it was senior year in college. It was after the Sigma Chi luau and Melissa and I got very drunk! And we ended up kissing! For several minutes!
Joey: Ah. Yeah. Well look, the thing is its the same day as my nieces christening and I really want my parents to be there in time to see me. Cause my parts just in the beginning Im not even in the rest of the showWedding!
(She slaps Rachels side and Rachel screams in pain.)
[Scene: Healing Hands Inc. (Phoebes work), Frank is being ushered in, by the arm, to the room Phoebe is in by another girl.]
Rachel: (To Phoebe) Ooh! Yknow what? If we made reservations, we could have unagi in about a half-hour.
Chandler: Ohh, great, I have condom in my wallet I've had since I was twelve.
Joey: Check the freezer. If theres none in there, then were probably out. Are you just getting in from work? Its late.
CHANDLER: Well the people in my group wanna spend the holiday weekend with their families.
Ross: How come its always us left in the field holding the ball?
Rachel: Hey! Thats just poking me in the eye!
Joey: Hey, it's me! I'm comin' in!
Joey: Uhh, because I'm shooting a scene right now. Yeah, I uh, I play a gladiator. Uh, y'know what? Hold-hold on a second. (To no one in particular) Can we cut? Yeah, my-my friends are here, I'm gonna take a little break.
Chandler: So... Oklahoma is a crazy place. You know, they call it the Sooner state. Frankly I'd sooner be in any other state. (Monica looks at Phoebe, who also doesn't know what to say.) And what's with Oklahoma having a pan handle? Can all states have stuff like that? Hey yeah, I'm from the waistband, Wyoming. But when I was seven, we headed over to the crotch.
Ross: (on phone) Okay, Andr� should be there in like 45 minutes. All rightie, bye bye. (to Phoebe) Just easier that way.
Monica:: Here why don't you sit down, get yourself comfortable because I. (Monica shows him the tape then puts it in) have a little surprise for you.
CHANDLER and JOEY: Hey, yo. [they move from out of in front of the TV]
Rachel: Thank you. (She goes to take off her make-up and screams in pain) Oww!!!! God!