words in movies
Chandler: Buy stamps, pick up dry cleaning Dont let Phoebe in.
Ross: (crying) I hope youre a better father than youre a friend!! (Cries again and Joey wakes up in horror.)
Chandler: Okay. How about in that cabinet?
Monica: No reason. I-I keep private things in there.
Chandler: Oh yknow, Ive been living here a while and Ive never seen whats inside that closet. What is, what is in there?
Monica: Chandler, there is nothing in there that concerns you! If you love me you-youll let it go.
Ross: What?! It is?! (He tries to quickly remove his gloves, but runs into trouble and finally throws them off of his hands like a hockey player in a fight and grabs Rachels belly.)
Joey: Well I got stuff going on in here (Rubbing his belly) if you wanna feel.
Ross: Look, I-I dont want to miss anymore baby stuff. So Here. Heres my new pager number, okay? Anytime anything pregnancy related happens use it! Ill be there! Okay? I dont care if its three in the morning and all you want is ice cream.
Phoebe: (in a soothing voice) Great, lets begin. (She starts the massage.) Hows the pressure?
Monica: (in a sexy voice) Oh. Oh yeah! Ohhhhh! Ohh! Oh yeah!
Chandler: Monica has a secret closet and she wont let me see whats in it.
Chandler: I dont know! What could she possibly be hiding in here that I cant see?!
Chandler: Why would Monica be keeping Richard in here?
Rachel: Joey. Joey, something feels weird and not good weird. I dontWhoa!! (Winces in pain.)
Joey: Oh hey whoa-whoa, dont worry. Okay. When my sisters were pregnant they got every weird feeling in the book, it was always nothing.
[Scene: The Hospital, Joey is in the waiting room as Rachel comes back out with the doctor.]
Dr. Long: Shes fine. Shes experiencing Braxton-Hicks contractions, mild discomfort caused by contractions in the uterine wall.
Joey: Calm?! I wasnt calm! Ive never been more scared in all my life!
Ross: (rushes in) Is everything okay?
Rachel: Oh, I gotta go back in there.
Dr. Long: (To Joey) Uh, if you have any questions, heres some information on Braxton-Hicks. (Hands Joey a pamphlet.) Oh and by the way, you did the right thing by bringing her in. Youre gonna make a wonderful father.
Joey: Uh, really good. Really good. Yeah, I should be ready to kill myself any day now. (Chandler returns with a bobby pin and hands it to Joey.) Wow, you sure found that quick. (He tries the pin in the lock.) I justI wish I didnt feel this way about Rachel anymore, yknow? I wish things could go back to normal. I mean, I love living with her and God, helping out with the baby is just amazing, but now I think I think Ross feels left out. Yknow? When I had to take Rachel to the hospital, the doctor thought I was the father. God You shouldve seen the look on Rosss face. (Pause) By the way, I have no idea what Im doing here. For all I know Im just locking it more. Oh hey, did you try opening it with a credit card?
Chandler: Well, its not your fault. What are you gonna do? Not take her to the hospital? Yknow? Youre doing nothing wrong. (Pause) Except for harboring an all consuming love for the woman whose carrying his baby. (He loses his card behind the door.) Richard? If-if youre in there, could you pass me my credit card?
Rachel: Okay, lets do it. Ill move in.
Monica: (entering) (Gasps) How did you get in there?!
Chandler: No, honey youre not sick! Look, I dont love you because youre organized, I love you in spite of that.
Joey: Are you kidding me? Im great! Yeah, Im uh; Im better than great. I am good. And now that shes gone, I can uh, I can do all this stuff around here that I couldnt do before. Yknow? Like umm, I can walk around naked again. Yknow? I can uh, I can watch porn in the living room. Right? This is uh, this is good for me. Yknow? I like being on my own, Im uh, better off this way. Im uh, a lone wolf. Yknow? A loner. Alone. All alone. Forever. Whats a wolf got to do to get a huh around here?! (Chandler rushes over and hugs him.)
Ross: I guess he musta gotten the part in that play.
Phoebe: All right, we'll se you and Mike at the restaurant in a couple hours.
Joey: (In a New York accent.) Fuggetaboutit. (She giggles.) How you doin?
FBOB: Look, I am just not strong enough to be in a codependent relationship right now, OK?
[Cut to the hallway, Chandler is standing in front of his door.]
Chandler: Yes, and we call Ross Lingers In The Bathroom.
Ross: Well uh, I-Im a paleontologist. Umm, I-I live in New York. I have a son Ben. Uh, hi Ben! (Waves.) And uh
Monica: (sympathetic) Oh. (in a pirates voice) So you made her walk the plank? Aye, matie?
Frank: Oh well, um, your, your laundry just smelled so good, that I thought Id curl up in it. Is that all right?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler are getting ready for the flight to London and Monica comes running in.]
Charlie: Well... I'm just thinking that maybe he's not the right guy to be with right now, maybe I should be with someone... I have more in common with. You know what I mean?
Phoebe: I like our way. Oh! (Grabs a piece and jumps a bunch of Joeys like in Checkers.) Chess!
(Dr. Geller, the man with the Ph.D. in Paleontology, is trying to find a place to hide, but this supposedly intelligent man in the hands of clich�d scriptwriters runs around with his pants down around his ankles like one of the Three Stooges.)
[Scene: The beach house, the next morning. Chandler and Monica are in the kitchen eating breakfast.]
Monica: (Reads) Yeah, I'd say so. And there's no 'j' in 'engorged'.
Chandler: Oh yeah, Dana Keystone. She was in my Movement class.
Chandler: Honey, it is not a date! I havent talked to her in ten years! You cant just call up somebody you havent talked to in ten years and ask them for a favor. There are rules, yknow? You gotta, you got to put in some time.
Ross: (in a deep voice) I'll have whatever Christine is having.
CHANDLER: Oh really, I didn't know they had foosball in the 1800's.
[Cut to Chandler in the hallway practicing dancing and is doing it very well.]
Phoebe: Well, why did you make like a whole big thing out of y'know, everyone has to hang out in the big apartment?
Ross: Actually she's a paleontology doctoral candidate, specializing in the centazoic era.
[Scene: The casino bar, Phoebe and Monica are sitting at the bar, while Wayne Newton's signature song Danke Schoen is playing in the background.]
Chandler: Hey, so where are we staying? Is the movie putting us up in a big hotel suite?
Mrs. Geller: Well, he better not come by here. He cant see the bride in the wedding dress.
Monica: I wont care, because I know you will be feeling it all in here. (Points to her heart.)
Phoebe: There we go.You know what, if we were in prison, you guys would be, like, my bitches.
RICHARD: Okay, last chance. (Monica throws the candy and hits some woman in the back of the head, Richard turns around and says) Again, I'm sorry.
Ross: I did give up a career in basketball to become a paleontologist!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Phoebe is still writing in her book, Chandler and Monica are in the kitchen as Joey enters.]
SUSIE: How come all I can think about is putting that ice in my mouth and licking you all over?
[Cut to later, Phoebe is still in the chair and Rachel is laying down as Monica enters.]
Rachel: (takes off her robe) Oh! Look what happened! {Don't get your hopes up guys, we only get to see her from the back or from the neck up. Its times like these I wish that the networks would broadcast some nudity other than Denis Franz's butt.} (In her head.) Huh, check me out! I'm in my kitchen naked! I'm picking up an orange. (Does so) I'm naked! (Goes into the living room) Lighting the candles, naked, and carefully. (She backs anything that might have a point like a candle on her body away.)
PHOEBE: OK, here I go. . . here I go. . . I'm goin'. [she just sits in the cab]
Ross: So, did he get on one knee, did he have a speech prepared, or (in a tender way) did he cry? (the guys look at him) Yeah, big surprise, I like proposals!
Chandler: My God! You must be good in bed!
JOEY: Hey, hey, I just figure Joseph's the kinda guy that likes to mix it up. Ya know, get in there, ruffle some feathers.
Joey: Yes thats the one about the soldiers who fight in World War I!
(In slow motion, Phoebe snaps the ball, Rachel goes long. Joey and Chandler and all over Phoebe, leaving Rachel wide open. Ross starts to rush Monica, who sees Phoebe is double covered, in desperation she throws to Rachel. We see flying through the air, and then Rachel running underneath it, then the ball, then Rachel again, then the ball, then Phoebe, Chandler, and Joey staring at it in shock. Then with the grace of Jerry Rice (no offense to Jerry Rice), Rachel catches the ball, and she stops and spikes the ball. Both Phoebe and Monica erupt in celebration.)
Joey: There’s a part in a TV movie that I would be perfect for and I didn’t even be put up for it! She’d better have a good reason.
Ross: Ironically, these are the guys who were picked last in gym.
Joey: Hey, dude, let me in. I got a girl out here!
Chandler: God!! (Sits down in disgust.) What am I gonna do?!
Monica: Oh!! (hits Chandler and Joey in the head) You guys knew about this and you didnt tell us?!
Ross: Oh no! That-thatll just bring me down! This was great! I mean I-I-I was great! This is a great day! Yknow what? Im buying everyone coffee. All right? If someone would just grab my wallet, its in my pocket.
Ross: And what(notices the stenographer is still typing)What are you typing that for? Did you hear what she said? We dont get the annulment. Dont type that! What?! Stop typing! (He goes over to where the stenographer is typing and in the process pushes Rachel out of his way.) Hey! Stop typing! (Hes still typing.) Stop typing! Stop typing!!
[Scene: Rachels office, Rachel and Sophie are sitting at their desks working as Joanna walks in.]
Monica: All right, Rachel's party is in a couple of hours and there's a lot to do. Now, Ross, you got Geller blood, you're in charge of these yahoos!
Chandler: Well, thats the best kiss Ive had with anyone Ive ever met in a mens room.
Rachel: (to the cowgirl) And you are so in style right now. Yknow, I work at Ralph Lauren and the whole fall line has got this like equestrian theme going on. I dont suppose you saw the cover of British Vogue, but
Phoebe: Oh okay, its P as in Phoebe, H as in hoebe, O as in oebe, E as in ebe, B as in bee-bee and E as in (In an Australian accent) Ello there mate!
Joey: Well, I figured were in another country, so it doesnt count.
(The door opens and Joey and Chandler ride in on the big, fake dog in triumph)
Sandy: Like in my last job, I met Daniel when he was three weeks old. And I got to watch him grow into this awesome person... When I left, I said: I'll see you soon... And he said to me: Skdandy... (Ross and Rachel look puzzled) That was his name for me... I'll see you every day... right in... (points at his heart, but starts to cry before he can finish his sentence. Rachel tries to comfort him, but Ross has this "you've got to be kidding me" look all over him)
Rachel: Nope! (She puts one in her mouth and spits it out, then does it again in another direction.)
Roy: Well, look - it's not my fault if you're too uptight to appreciate the male form in all it's glory.
Monica: (to Janine) Youd better hope I dont see you in the hallway!! (They exit.)
Phoebe: Wow, that sounds great! And what are you making Monica, in case Rachels dessert is...[about to say bad] so good that I eat all of it. Theres none left for anybody else!
Monica: Oh God, is it 6:30? Buzz him in!
Chandler: I dont know. (He picks the chick up and turns it over, trying to determine the sex of the chick, and blows on it.) I cant tell, what ever it was went back in too quickly.
Joey: Because... look, no one wants this to happen more than me, ok? (in a trembling voice) I have gone over this moment in my head a hundred times and not once did I ever say no! (sighs) I couldn't do it to Ross!
[Scene: The game show studio. Joey and Gene are sitting in the winner circle.]
MONICA: No. Um, I know you like this, and I want you to have it. I think it'll look good in our apartment.
Rachel: Ooh, is this one of those things where you throw it in a bag with some graveyard dirt and hang it from a north-facing tree?
Rachel: In the afternoon. Mr. Zelner came into my office after lunch. He put them on my desk, and then I put a Post-It on it (Looks down onto her desk and finds the folder with the Post-It on it that contains the contracts she imagined she gave Tag) that said, "Must go out today." So you just keep looking in there! All right?
Rachel: She wants to move in with me and Ross to help take care of the baby.
(Joey checks that Ross is not looking and dumps it in a plant.)
Rachel: I can see that. You look like you slept with a hanger in your mouth.
Rachel: Joey look, just look at it this way, the sooner Phoebe breaks Chandler the sooner this is all over and out in the open.
Ross: co-founded. Co-founded the club was because I was insanely in love with you. Obviously I didnt handle it very well. But if you think about it the I Hate Rachel Club was really the I Love Rachel Club.
Rachel: Oh wow. Are you in trouble.
Monica: Change! Okay, sit down. (Shows Paul in) Two seconds.
Charlie: I'm sorry, I have a really early class in the morning, but this has been lovely.
Kate: I cant believe we go on in, in a week.
(They exchange looks, smile, and shrug their shoulders before Ross suddenly lunges forward in an attempt to kiss her, but she expertly backs away.)
Rachel: Everything you need to know is in that first kiss.
Joshua: I invested in this night-club and its opening tonight, would you like to come?
Frannie: Are you kidding? I take credit for Paul. Y'know before me, there was no snap in his turtle for two years.
Kathy: Acting! Chandler, this is my job! Im-Im playing a part in a play! How can you not trust me?!
(He sits down in the wet paint again.)
Joey: I was with you the whole time we were in Connecticut, when did you even get those?
Rachel: I know I had it this morning, and I know I had it when I was in the kitchen with...
Chandler: Boys? We're going in.
Chandler: Yknow when we move in together, can I get a gumball machine?
Rachel: What are you talking about?! Mindy, the guy is the devil! He's Satan in a smock!
Monica: Come on, that was back in high school! How could that still bother you?
Monica: No Mom, I don't have a restaurant, I work in a restaurant.
Chandler: Okay, so if an eight comes up, we take it as a sign and we do it! {Whoa! Where have I heard that before? Matthew Perry talking about signs in Las Vegas. I guess it must've been some movie I saw.} What do you say?
Ross: Well, I was going to stick it in the ATM, but now I think Ill show the sexy teller that I am a published writer.
Chandler: Why are you in here if Joshua is all the way over there? (Points to the living room.)
(The duck starts to frantically flap his wings, while Joey is holding him, in an attempt to get away.)
ROSS: Remember when sometimes he'd borrow your hat, and, and when you got it back there'd be little monkey raisins in it.
Ross: ...How long was I in there?
Chandler: Y'know what, I know what will cheer you guys up! (he starts spreading envelopes among them) I had a little talk with the boys in New York, told 'em about all the hard work you've been doing and that a little Christmas bonus may be in order.
Rachel: Remember when we were in high school together?
Chandler: No-no-no-no, I've supported you one hundred percent and I want to prove that to you in person!
Barry: C'mon in.
Chandler: Kinda puts that whole pillow thing in perspective, huh, Mon?
Chandler: No, no, no... They're really yours. We... found them in your old room.
Ross: And in about five seconds youre gonna see why.