words in movies
Phoebe: Monica, I'm sorry I didn't come by last night. I was out with Gary; he let me ride around with him in his cop car. We saw and prevented crimes.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is kneeling at the coffee table and has a bunch of pictures laid out in front of her as Rachel enters.]
Monica: All right, he's keys are in the drawer. Y'know what? I also need some cash.
[Scene: Gary's cop car, Ross is in the front seat with Gary of course. Chandler is in the back seat.]
Joey: (returning from a deli) Okay, I got it! This place makes the best sandwich in the world!
Gary: Yeah, you can't eat that in my car.
Chandler: (leans in and takes a sniff of Joey's sandwich) Wow! That sandwich really does smell good.
Joey: Half the taste is in the smell! You-you're sucking up all the tastiness!
Rachel: Ohh please don't be from a real dinosaur! Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! (She picks up the 2 pieces and looks at the stand.) Made in Mexico! Yes!! Ugh, who would buy this?! (Looks for a place to hide it and finds a wall sconce and drops the pieces into it and heads into the kitchen as the phone rings.)
(Rachel runs over and answers the phone with the blender in hand.)
Ross: Hello! I'm in the front seat, okay? I'm Gary's partner!
Monica: No, look, she's obviously unstable, okay? I mean she's thinking about running out on her wedding day. (Rachel slowly turns and glares at her.) (Realizing what she just said.) Okay, fine! But I mean, look at the position she's putting him in! What's he gonna do? Ross is gonna run over there on the wedding day and break up the marriage?! I mean, who would do that?! (Rachel again turns and glares at her in disgust.) Okay, fine, all right, but that's y'know, it's different! Although it did involve a lot of the same people.
[Scene: The ride along, they're all waiting outside of the witness's house and still in the car in the same places as before.]
(They all turn and look away. Suddenly a loud bang sounds out and in slow motion Joey slowly throws his body over Ross. Gary is shocked at what he sees while Chandler is obviously hurt.)
Ross: Pheebs, we had the most incredible night! Okay, so, we're in the car
Ross: Okay, okay, so we're in the car. Right? And bang! A shot was fired. And Joey with no regard for his own safety throws himself on me!
(They leave as Ross stares in awe at Joey.)
Joey: Cut it out Ross! I hate to have to save your life and kick your ass in the same day!
Chandler: You dove in front of Ross! Ross!
Joey: I know it sounds crazy, but Chandler this is (Goes and picks up the sandwich) the greatest sandwich in the world!
Joey: Yeah! In fact, to prove how much you mean to me, (He unwraps the sandwich and holds it out for Chandler) here.
Rachel: Hey! Y'know what? You are in our apartment all the time! Okay? This is, this is just a drop in the bucket mister!
Ross: I wonder how I would react under fire, y'know? And not backfire but-but heavy fire, like I was in a war or something.
Monica: Man, I would be great in a war! I mean, I really, I think I would make a fantastic military leader. I mean I know I would make General way before any of you guys.
Ross: I know where Joey would be. He would be down in the foxhole protecting all of us.
Phoebe: Well you all know that I'm a pacifist so I'm not interested in war in any way. (Gets up) But y'know what? When the revolution comes, I will have to destroy you all. (Starts to leave.) (To Joey) Not you Joey.
Rachel: Dont say that I have no sentiment! (Starts to show Ross whats in the box.) This is a movie stub from our first date! This is an eggshell from the first time you made me breakfast in bed! (Holds up a bone) This is from the museum from the first time we were together. Okay, maybe I exchange gifts sometimes, but I keep the things that matter!
Phoebe: Well, yeah! Fun is good, but y'know I also wanted to learn. Y'know, people are always talking about what they learned in high school and I never went to high school.
Phoebe: Hey, you should really read that book you wrote. (To Larry) Wow! You saw the hat in the kitchen and knew that she'd have to go in there hatless to get it. You can have your own health inspector detective show!
Joey: Don't you remember when we were jogging in the park and we saw that really pretty bird and wanted to take a pictureI didn't have my camera!
MONICA: Hey, Rache. You know what we haven't played in a while?
Mike's dad: (leans in towards Mike) I crushed a pill and put it in her drink... (to his wife) Come on, sweetheart.
Phoebe: Okay thats even sadder. Look, I know, I know what I got myself into, its just that now that theyre in me its like, its like I know them yknow, I mean-I mean, its just not gonna be easy when these little babies have to go away.
Phoebe: Well, yknow I may have relatives in France who would know. My grandmother said she got the recipe from her grandmother, Nesele Tolouse.
Ross: All right, all right, it's just that you left a red sock in with all your whites, and now, everything's kinda pink.
JOEY: Oh, what about that thing he did when he tipped the guy who showed us to our seats. You never even saw the money, it was like this. [With money in his palm] Hey Chandler, thanks for showing us to our seats [shakes his had and passes the dollar].
Ross: Wha? No no! Ah! (Ross scarfs all of his trifle down in about a second. He looks like hes going to throw up.) (Lying) All gone! So good! Maybe Chandler has some left.
Rachel: Ok. (Phoebe starts to walk in the opposite direction though. Rachel sees and follows her) Wha...? where? Where are you going?
MNCA: [to Chandler] Yo, Bing. Racquetball in 15 minutes.
Ross: Hey, youre not going to believe this. I made up a joke and sent it in to Playboy. They printed it!
Chandler: 99...100! Ready or not, here I come! (He opens his eyes and sees that the chick and the duck are still sitting in front of him) All right, let's go over the concept one more time.
Rachel: (as Monica) And by the way, have I mentioned that back in high school, I was a cow?
Phoebe: There you go! (She continues to work him over with her elbows and he continues to yell in pain.)
Mr. Douglas: Ohh, its been better. The Annual Net Usage Statistics are in.
Mr. Tribbiani: Oh! ...Hello, dear. (She whips the curtain shut in horror)
Ross: Ah, well, in here, anyone who... stands erect... So what's new? Still, uh...
RACHEL: Yeah, I mean, you know it, I mean, if it were me I, I, you know, I'd want you to, I don't know, like catch me off guard, you know, with like a really good kiss, you know really, sort of um, soft at first, then maybe um brush the hair away from my face, and look far into my eyes in a way that let's me know that something amazing is about to happen.
Mr. Tribbiani: Joe, your dad's in love big time. And the worst part of it is, it's with two different women.
Chandler: Eight and a half hours of aptitude tests, intelligence tests, personality tests... and what do I learn? (he taps the results and reads them) "You are ideally suited for a career in data processing for a large multinational corporation."
Rachel: (running from the guy's apartment with Joey in tow) Hey, what's-what's going on?!
(Angela, a beautiful woman in a tight dress, enters.)
Joey: Oh comelook, when I was a kid my dads company gave season tickets to the number one salesman every year, all right? My dad never won! Of course, he wasnt in the sales division, but still, I never ever, ever forgot that!
Ross: I cannot sleep in a public place.
(Chandler and Joey burst in, with Marcel)
(Rachel, Monica, Ross and Chandler whip around for a second time, in formation.)
Rachel: Okay. Okay fine, yknow what? We will let Ross and Joey decide. (Ross enters.) (In a sexy voice.) Hiiiii, Ross! Sweetie.
Phoebe: No, you don't! She's going to Paris! She is going to meet somebody. Do you know how many hot guys there are in Paris? It's... It's a city of Gunthers!
RACH: No, actually first they started on my waist. And then, they slid up, and then, they were in my hair.
Young Ethan: Oh, I'm a senior... in High School.
Ross: He's in! Oh, did you hear that, Marcel? San Diego. San Diego!
Rachel: Okay, well keep in mind that by the time you're done, they'll probably be serving dinner.
Ross: I dont think so. Hello? (Knocks on the glass, which angers the big, large, angry dog behind the glass and causes them to jump to the other side of the landing.) When you get in there (Joey nods his disapproval.)
RACH: Oh my god, I can't believe you let me put this in my mouth.
Joey: Thank you all for coming. We're here today to pay respects to a wonderful agent and a beautiful woman... (Joey looks at the photograph) ..inside. As Estelle's only two clients we would like to say a few words. (Joey looks for his notes. The man next to him is chewing something.) Dude, where's my speech? (the man swallows something and looks at Joey.) That is entertaining. Al Zebooker everybody. (he applauds and Al shows that there's nothing left in his mouth.)
Ross: I cant believe in four weeks theyre gonna be married!
[Ross walks back in, Rachel's coat in hand.]
RACH: And I'm in it? Then let me read it.
ROSS: That's it? That's all you wrote? You're the worst writer in the whole world.
Monica: (To Chandler) Look honey, you dont have to do this, okay? Its the strength you have inside that means the most to me. Youre loyal, youre honest, and you have integrity! Thats the kind of strength that I want in the man that I love!
Ross: (in a stupor) Hey Chandler. (Sees Monica.) Monica!
ROSS: You bet. In the U.S., China, Africa, all over.
[He opens the window, Ross comes in, soaked.]
Ross: Oh, it looks like mom and dads house. Oh, it even has a tree with a broken limb out front and the uh, the window in the attic is Oh my God!!
Chandler: Oh its been going on way to long now. Yknow, I mean the first time he said it we were just passing each other in the hallway, so I didnt say anything. And then the next time he said, "Hey Toby, do you want a donut?" And I-I wanted a donut. And now its five years later, the donuts gone and Im still Toby.
RACHEL: What? [in surprise she forgets she has the pigeon in the pot and lets it get away]
Joey: Yeah, in a poem maybe.
RTST: Hi, thanks for coming in again.
Rachel: (ignoring him) Anyway, Ralph just came in to tell me that hes so happy with my work that he wants me to be the new merchandising manager for polo retail.
Ross: I don't get it. What do you see in this guy, anyway?
CHANDLER: What's in the bag?
MONICA: So, I read this article in the paper the other day that says you're not supposed to throw rice at weddings, because when pigeons eat rice it kills them.
CHANDLER: Nah, Phoebs, that's the guy that comes in the frame.
Sarah: Oh, no! This is work. I should call in. Can you excuse me?
Joey: I have to pee. And Rachel's in the bathroom!
(Carol suddenly screams in pain and grabs Chandler by the shirt.)
[Scene: In front of Macys, Phoebe has adorned her bucket with numerous signs. Like "We are not a urinal!" and "I have no Macys info." And other stuff like that. She also has a scowl on her face as she is ringing her bell. A little old lady walks up to make a donation but Phoebe stops her.]
Chandler: Oh, I thought you were great in Silence of the Lambs. Oh come on, admit it! All things considered, you had fun tonight.
Monica: Im tellingIf you put that in her apartment youll never hear the end of it.
[Scene: Chandler is standing on a street corner waiting for Phoebe in the cab. Joey walks up.]
[Phoebe drives up in the cab]
Phoebe: Okay. Good, all right, lets get back in the car, cause its freezing, and my chest is unsupported.
Monica: (Poking her head in) Rach? Can I talk to for just a minute? I-I dropped some socks.
PHOEBE: Oh, I couldn't go in.
Dr. Li: Well, I believe that the answers lie in the osteological evidence. I plan to begin there.
Joey: Why not? Youll feel better! Ill feel better, and you know you want to. I can see it in your eyes.
Joey: But no, it's not close. You said it was in escrow? I couldn't even find it on the map.
(Rachel comes out of the apartment holding a pot. Joey holds in anticipation and Rachel opens it)
Joey: Yeah, three days on the lake without a shower. Plus! I fell in that big tub of worms at the bait stand! Hey, how-hows he doing?
ROSS: Hey, here's a theme: Come on in, live like bacon.
Ross: You know what the scariest part is? What if there's only one woman for everybody, y'know? I mean what if you get one woman- and that's it? Unfortunately in my case, there was only one woman- for her...
Ross: Hey guys, does anybody know a good date place in the neighborhood?
Joey: (in obvious pain) Hey! So Estelle lined up a bunch of auditions for me tomorrow and Ill have my health insurance back in no time.
JOEY: Hi, here's the deal. We lost a carseat on a bus today. It's white plastic, with a handle, and it fits onto a stroller. Oh, and there was a baby in it. He wants to talk to you again.
Colleen: I'll go get him in a second. By the way, you should know we haven't told him he's adopted yet.
[Everyone looks at each other in amazement.]
(She sets down her bag and we travel back to slow motion world. She once again whips her hair around in slow motion with the love doctor Barry White singing in the background. And Id also like to take this opportunity to mention that she can also be seen in Starship Troopers and that she was born in Downers Grove, Illinois which just happens to be a few miles from where I live. Anyway Cousin Ross is now staring.)
[Russ enters, walking in behind Chandler.]
Amy: Uh.. To name a few. You know.. You know.. You've just always been like this. You just have to have everything. And I couldn't have anything. Like in junior high, when you stole Timmy from me. I mean, do you even realize how much that hurt me?
MNCA: Nothing, just never seen you in little stretchy pants before.
FBOB: So the light went out in my refrigerator...
(Monica is dancing. At first she seems insecure and moves slowly, but then gets into the groove and swings her hips from side to side while holding her hands up. She then eats the last piece of pizza she was holding and again moves her hips from side to side, pushing her hands in the air in beat with the music. Her moves get more wildly while she's snapping her fingers. She loses balance and falls back onto a pink bean bag.)
SUSAN: Is your finger caught in that chair?
ROSS: Well, ya know, they're a little behind the times in Colonial Williamsburg.
RACHEL: (after a pause with everyone staring at her, she goes up to the microphone) Ya, know what Barr, I'm not gonna leave. I probably should, but I'm not, see 'cause I promised myself that I would make it through at least *one* of your weddings (da-doom-chesh). See now, tonight, all I really wanted was to make it though this evening with a little bit of grace and dignity. Well (laughing), I guess we can all agree that's not gonna happen. There's nothing really left to say except....(starts singing) "Her name was Lola. She was a showgirl. With yellow feathers (band joins in), feathers in her hair, and a dress cut down to there. She would..."
Phoebe: Oh come on, they can be in the same room.
Joey: Or! You can just, yknow (He walks up close to whisper in Rosss ear and when he gets there he pushes Ross into the fridge.)
Chandler: Thanks, Phoebe. But I just don't really see myself in a big white hat.
PHOEBE: Hey Rach, wanna hear the new song I'm thinkin' of singing this afternoon? I wrote it this morning in the shower.
MR A: You're saying, my wife is in you?
PHOEBE: I'm sorry, there's laughing in my head.
JOEY: Uh, listen Phoebs, I know you're not goin' in there but do you think it'd be alright if I went in and used his bathroom? Oh, that's fine, never mind. Cool, snow, kinda like a blank canvas.
RACHEL: Oh! What's new in sex?
MRS GREEN: That's fine. I never did it. I just thought I might. So, what's new in sex?
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel is closing up and Ross comes in. Get your Kleenex.]
Chandler: Nothing, just a little extra air in my mouth. Pffft. Pffffffft. (walks over to where Joey is seated)
Rachel: (talking in her sleep) Oooooooooh. (Rachel strokes her hand over the pillow. Ross mimicks her silently) Oh, that's nice. Oh, oh. Huh, Ross!