words in movies
Ross: Oh, that's right! (to Emma) Daddy and uncle Joey are going on a trip today. We're going to a conference in Barbados, right?
Phoebe: No, no, because, you know, he's been in Minsk for 8 years and if he gets too much direct sunlight, he'll die.
[Scene: Paradise Hotel lounge in Barbados]
Monica: David, can you help me?! I'm trying to explain to Chandler how a plane stays in the air.
Monica: I guess, in time.
[Scene: Joey in his hotel in room in Barbados]
(Trying on a hat and talking to his own reflection in the mirror)
[Scene: Back in New York, Monica and Chandler in Central Perk on the couch]
Joey: Come on, I'll show you guys where to check in (Joey, Chandler and David leave)
Rachel: Ooh! You guys are so lucky you are here with people, you known it's such a romantic place. That's all, I just wish I could (looks at Joey who is at the check in desk) share that with a guy.
Ross: By using CT scans and computer imaging we can in a very real way, bring the Mesozoic era into the 21st century.
Joey: Oh what, did someone outbid you for the teapot? (Chandler looks annoyed at him and Joey leans in to him) Oh! Secret teapot?
Chandler: Well, I tried Billy Jean King, but... (Ross glares at him) you know, you and Monica have the same "I'm gonna kill you" look...? I can usually make it go away by kissing her... (Ross continues to glare at him and Chandler leans in as if he's going to kiss Ross)
Ross: I can't believe this. I can't believe this is happening. I have to give the keynote speech tomorrow! Ok? I have to stand up in front of all these people. What am I gonna say?
Joey: Oh, oh! Any chance any of this happened in a "Galaxy far, far away"? (Ross turns aroud and glares at him. Joey and Rachel decide to leave).
Monica: I... I'm sorry, did you say something? I can't hear through all this damned hair! (Tries to move her huge hair away from the phone, in vain)
Mike: Look, if Phoebe wants to marry David, she should, I'm not gonna stand in the way of that and neither should you.
Monica: You don't tell me what to do! I tell you what to do! Just call her. She's at the Paradise Hotel in Barbados. And while I've got you, you've got curly hair. What do you do in humidity? (Mike hangs up the phone) Damnit!
(Chandler walks in)
Monica: Phoebe is going to say "Yes" to David. See, that's what happens when you meddle in people's lives!
Monica: No it's not, b'cause she's still in love with Mike!
Monica: Well, if you hadn't meddled to start with, I wouldn't have had to go in there and meddle myself. Now, no matter how much we meddle, we will never be able to un-meddle the thing that you meddled up - in the first place!
Joey: In that case should I make sure it's on real good? (he does so, repeatedly tapping on her breast and stroking it)
Charlie: And then, and then you said that thing about, about bringing the Mesozoic era in the 21st century.
Ross: Yes, but I did make a pyramid out of the bath products. This is amazing, thank you, thank you so much. (he leans in, and they look at each other for a moment) That's a pretty necklace.
Joey: Not enough pills in the world, Rach. What about you, you're the single one, seen anybody in there you like?
(Phoebe and David walk in)
Monica: I can't believe she's gonna say yes to David. She's clearly in love with Mike.
David: Uh, Phoebe, uh... (Chandler hits his own head) you're an amazing woman, and the time we spent apart was, was unbearable. Of course the sanitation strikes in Minsk didn't help!
(David produces the ring. At the same time, Mike walks in, behind David)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's room. Monica and Chandler are in bed.]
(Rachel runs in)
Rachel: (walking in hurriedly) Open your drapes! Open your drapes!
Chandler: Ladies? Ross's speech is in 45 minutes.
Ross: But all kidding aside, in much the same way that Homo ergaster [1] is now thought to be a separate species from Homo erectus...
Ross: (concluding his speech)... in a very real way we can bring the Mesozoic era into the 21st century. (pauses) Thank you!
Rachel: (to Ross, in a flattering tone) It was really... great!
Ross: Hey! (she turns to him) Well...? (in expectation)
Ross: (joking) I'd better not found you naked in my hotel room!
[Scene: the hotel lobby. Monica, Phoebe, Chandler and Mike walk in from the outside.]
(Joey is sitting in an armchair and wearing a diving mask. He pulls out a grape from a bunch of fake grapes on the coffee table, puts it on the snorkel's breathing tube and blows it out, then giggles to himself)
Charlie: (walking in) Hey! There you are!
Joey: Hey! (stands up) As soon as it stops raining we have got to go snorkeling! Some kid told me about the sea turtle and, if you blow bubbles in its face, it chases ya! (smiles ecstatic)
Joey: (interrupting her) Hey! Don't worry about it! It was fine! I ended up having the best time with Rachel! I just felt bad for you, stuck in that room, working on Ross's speech... (pulls a face)
[Scene: the hotel game room. There is a ping pong table in the middle of the room. Monica, Phoebe, Chandler and Mike walk in]
Alexandra Steele: (meteorologist) (pointing to the East Coast)... all these coasts having beautiful weather. In New York, it's 72 and sunny!
Rachel: It's open! (Joey walks in) Hi, Joe!
Joey: Oh well, she said we have nothing in common.
Joey: No, it's not, we have nothing in common!
(Joey walks out, while Rachel is pensive. Once he's out of her room, he suddenly realizes who she was talking about and goes back in. He looks at her in disbelief and she looks like she was caught red-handed)
Joey: Because... look, no one wants this to happen more than me, ok? (in a trembling voice) I have gone over this moment in my head a hundred times and not once did I ever say no! (sighs) I couldn't do it to Ross!
(Chandler turns to look at Monica, who has the biggest hair ever, is flushed and in a sweat, and is decidedly sniffing her armpits)
Chandler: I think this is the first time in our marriage that I've felt like the more attractive one.
Mike: You know, you should really look in a mirror before you call yourself that.
Mr. Oberblau: I'm just saying, I have a cabin in the Adirondacks if you ever want to get away from the city, well, that'd be (pause) just nifty!
Ross: Ooh, well. Ah, I kinda have got a lot on my plate right now, not that I wouldn't love a weekend in the country with a strange man. (Mr. Oberblau giggles)
Ross: Oh, professor Clerk we're kind of in the middle of a conversation, here.
Charlie: Yeah, can you guys just throw him in the pool later?
Professore Clerk: Or we could throw you both in now!
Monica: I can't just walk away! I've put in four hours!
Monica: Look! You knew this about me when you married me! You agreed to take me in sickness and in health. Well, this is my sickness!
Monica: (in pain) Aww! (she holds her hand, moaning like she's biting back a scream)
Chandler: (In a loving voice) Yes, I do. Now, I may not understand why you have to win so badly, but if it's important to you then it's important to me, because I love you.
Chandler: (Still in a loving voice) You're welcome, sweetheart.
[Scene: Hotel's bar. Ross is running to Charlie trying not to be seen with two cocktails in his hands. She's hidden behind a huge plant]
Ross: I think I know too but I've been really wrong about this stuff in the past, so...
(Joey walks in and sees Ross and Charlie kissing. He gives a faint, rueful smile, then he seems to recollect something and suddenly he moves back to Rachel's room. He knocks on her door and she opens)
(Joey says nothing, but enters the room and kisses her. They are kissing passionately only to stop for a brief "oh" from Rachel. They continue their passionate kiss and Joey closes the door with his foot and it shuts in the camera's "face". And that's the end of the ninth season.)
Ross: Okay, stay calm. Nothing is going to happen to you, you are not in that much trouble.
Rachel: (entering carrying a book) Okay! Okay! Listen to what Sean McMahon wrote in my yearbook senior year, "Dear Rach, youre such a good person." Not girl! Person!
Dina: I-I cant go in there. I cant tell him!
Rachel: (To Dina) Now! Give him the sandwich! Give him the sandwich! (She quickly sets the sandwich in front of him.)
Joey: (stepping in and knocking the man over) Hey, if we know it can we have candy?!!
Chandler: All right. Look, Im gonna go in here, and you dont buy me anything ever. (starts to go into the store)
(Rachel waves her hands in disgust and starts to head for her room.)
Ross: (finds the word in the book) Ezel! (Reads the translation.) Hey Gunther! Youre an ezel!
Trudie Styler: Oh no, I know that wouldnt work. My husbands in concert.
Rachel: Look Ross, if youre so freaked out, just get in the car!
Phoebe: Oh good! Then youre in luck! Bens not my son!
Monica: (notices something in the window) Oh wait! Stop! Stop! Stop!
Joshua: You okay? (Rachel swallowed it whole and is not hacking like a heavy smoker in the morning.) You all right? (Rachel walks away, coughing.)
Rachel: Oh, I forgot this was in here. Umm, this was the uh garter that I was saving for my wedding and I wanted it to be Monicas something borrowed and its blue. (Starts to cry again.) Yeah
Rachel: OH MY GOD!!! (She holds her hands up in triumph and the gang all look at her.) Sorry, I was just imagining what itd be like to catch the money bouquet.
Ross: Rach, you cant look fat in an x-ray.
Chandler: (watching TV, in fact, ER is on.) Nothing! It's over! Dammit! This is regularly scheduled programming!
Monica: Aunt Syl, I did this as a favor, I am not a caterer. What do you want me to do with a dozen lasagnas? (listens to Aunt Syl on phone, looks shocked) Nice talk, Aunt Syl. (in New York accent) You kiss Uncle Freddie with that mouth?
Mr. Waltham: (drunkenly) The next tour of the wine cellar will plan in two in-in minutes
Phoebe: Yeah, I really do! Yes, but, after I dumped on the way he was gonna propose to me, I don’t think he’s ever gonna ask again! I mean, I said no in Barbados and now this!
(Suddenly the door flies open and in walks Chandler!!)
Phoebe: (sees Ross) Oh Ross no. Be careful, that is very old! Okay? Early Colonial bird merchants used to bring their birds to market in that.
ROSS: Not, not, not every night. You know, and... and it's not like I didn't try, Rachel, but things got in the way, y'know? Like, like Italian guys or ex-fiances or, or, or Italian guys.
Joey: Excuse me, could we get an egg over here, still in the shell? Thanks.
Rachel: Right! Right! I-I actually meant in your spare time, do you cook? Do you ski? Or do you just hang out with your wife or girlfriend?
(The player shoots and the puck flies off the rink and hits Ross in the face. Chandler looks concered until he notices...)
Chandler: Im sorry. When you were in high school you made out with a 50-year-old woman?
Chandler: (on phone) Laundry. Huh. Is that my new nickname? (Rachel is absolutely stunned, she opens her mouth in absolute amazement.)
Tag: And I never used to be able to just talk to girls in bars, but I got like 20 phone numbers last night.
Monica: Like asking her to move in with you?
Monica: That is a slap in the face.
Ross: Okay, okay, so we're in the car. Right? And bang! A shot was fired. And Joey with no regard for his own safety throws himself on me!
Monica: Look at that! Look at that! Theyre going into the first class lounge! Do you know what they have in there?
(Ross enters with a bottle in his hand)
[Scene: Ross's apartment, his massage client is on the table and Ross is reluctantly starting his massage. He spreads some lotion in his hands, and doesnt like it.]
Rachel: Ross Im so sorry. Okay. I-I will promise I will straighten this out with him tomorrow in person, or via e-mail.
Mrs. Geller: (rubbing her temples) Thats alot of information to get in in thirty seconds! Alright Joey, if wanna leave, just leave. Rachel, no you werent supposed to put beef in the trifle. It did not taste good. Phoebe, Im sorry, but I think Jacques Cousteau is dead. (Phoebe makes a sad face.) Monica, why you felt you had to hide the fact that you were in an important relationship is beyond me.
Rachel: Shake it! (Phoebe, Mike, Chandler, Monica and Joey step in)
Monica: Oh well, maybe we can put it in the guest bedroom.
Monica: Yeah. In fact, I like her so much you tell her I want my cookies early this year! Yknow, a box of Thin Mints and some Tag-a-Longs.
Phoebe: Okay. (She starts folding the napkins in half.)
ROSS: Ohh, big smoker. [Packs the cigarettes and flings one on Mrs. Greene in the process. Finally gets one in his mouth and it look really out of place] Big big smoker. In fact I'm gonna go ou into the hallway and fire up this bad boy. [as he walks into the hall, he comes face to face with Mr. Greene]
Ross: Baby got back (Then Ross turns around and sees their friends standing in the doorway)
Rachel: Ahh, I dont believe you. I think you dont want them to see you begging me. (Goes to put the tape in the VCR)
Joey: All right. Let's get the contestants out of their isolation booths. (He removes the waste bucket that's over the duck and the laundry basket that's over the chicken.) And they're off! (He puts his foot in front of the chick, stopping it from moving.)
Ross: Wow! That is a good one! Wow, it looks like a, like a holiday card yknow, with the tree in the middle and the skaters and the snow.
[Scene: Chandler is packing the broken china in its box. He's taping up the top of box so thoroughly, there isn't an inch of cardboard which isn't covered in tape. He is struggling with the tape dispenser.]
Joey: I bet we could get videos of all the sites, get a VCR in our hotel room... we'd never even have to go outside!
Ross: Okay. (Swallows hard.) Hop on Gert. (She does and Ross winces in pain.)
Phoebe: (after he's gone) I am so sorry you got caught in the middle of that. I didn't mean to be so out there. I am furious with him!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is sitting in Joeys lap on Francette, and theyre both groaning.]
(She lets her hair down and whips her hair around in Baywatch-esque slow motion with a Barry White song in the background. Chandler needless to say cant help but stare along with the rest of the male and lesbian population of North America.)
Chandler: In London?
Joey: It was different for you guys! I mean, I mean, you were both in the same place, right?
Chandler: Yes. When Monica and I were in London, we were both in London.
Kristen: I studied for a year in Barcelona. (Ross is stunned and worried.)
JOEY: Oh yeah, yeah, she's great, but... I kinda got the feeling that she was sort of... coming on to me. And I definitely would get the part if I would've... you know... if I would have sent the Little General in.
Dr. Long: Okay! All your tests look fine. Now, are you two interested in knowing the sex of the baby?
Chandler: Im in the bathroom, can you come in here? I think theres something wrong.
Monica: (into phone) Pants and a sweater? Why, mom? Who am I gonna meet in a blackout? Power company guys? Eligible looters? Could we talk about this later? OK. (hangs up)
Chandler: Im in the bathtub.
Transcribers Note: This is stuff we never saw from all of the seasons, so for all of the scene settings I will be using the current arrangements. Even though some of the out takes take place when Chandler was living with Joey and Rachel was living with Monica, when Joey and Chandler were living in Monica and Rachels, and the current arrangements.
Chandler: (entering in a bathrobe) I just walked in the bathroom and saw Kathy naked! It was like torture!
Monica: Wait a minute! He stopped talking the minute Phoebe came in!
Chandler: My God! He wants to do it with Phoebe in London!
(Monica runs out to Phoebe, who is in the kitchen)
Monica: Is it something youd be interested in?
[Scene: Central perk, Ross is sitting on the chair as Rachel walks in.]
Phoebe: Sure, yeah, no I can do that, yeah, because umm, y'know, the muscles in the siadic area can get yknow, real (lifts up the towel) nice and tight. So umm, tell me Rick, how umm, how did you injure the area.
Ross: Yeah, I know, so what? I mean, whos-whos to say? Does that me we-we cant do it? Look, huh, I was with Carol for four years before we got married and I wound up divorced from a pregnant lesbian. I mean, this, this makes sense for us. Come on! I mean, on our first date we ended up spending the whole weekend in Vermont! I mean, last night I got my ear pierced! Me! This feels right. Doesnt it?
Phoebe: Were in the bathroom!
Joey: (entering the bathroom) What are you guys doing in here?
Carol: What that woman... did. I am not doin that. Its just gonna have to stay in, thats all, everything will be the same, itll just stay in.
ROSS: See what? I don't know what she sees in... innn that goober. And it takes him, what? Like... like... I don't know, uhh... uhhh, hello.... a... week, to get out a sentence.
[Scene: Chandler and Monicas, Chandler is sitting at the kitchen table eating cheesecake. The box it came in is also on the table.]
Rachel: You're right! I mean you're right! It wasn't just the Weebles, but it was the Weeble Play Palace, and and the Weebles' Cruise Ship. Oh, which had this little lifeboat for the Weebles to wobble in.
Chandler: Your parents caught Ross smoking pot in college and he blamed it on me!
Monica: (in a sexy voice) Oh. Oh yeah! Ohhhhh! Ohh! Oh yeah!
Joey: Maybe. So this is the living room huh? Ooh, it's pretty dark. (starts feeling around him like he's in a completely dark room, touching Chandler, who backs out and hits him)
Rachel: Joey. Joey, something feels weird and not good weird. I dontWhoa!! (Winces in pain.)
Monica: I will prove it to you! Okay? About a week ago I was wearing those jeans and I dropped a pen in my lap and it left an ink stain on the crotch. Now when she comes back I will find it and show you that stain!
Ross: (rushes in) Is everything okay?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. They're still watching TV. Phoebe stands in front of the TV.]
Joey: Calm?! I wasnt calm! Ive never been more scared in all my life!
Rachel: Oh, I gotta go back in there.
Woman at door in a sing song voice: Amy.
[Scene: The Hospital, Joey is in the waiting room as Rachel comes back out with the doctor.]
Rachel: Well-well you can give them to me! I havent felt my feet in years!
Monica: No reason. I-I keep private things in there.
Leslie: (singing) My best shoes, so good to me. I wear them everyday. Down at the heel, holes in the toes. Dont care what people say. My feets best friends, pals to the end. With them Im one hot chicky. Though late one night, not much light, I....
Chandler: The door hasnt been locked in five years, but okay! (Runs out.) Ready?!
Joey: Yeah! In fact, to prove how much you mean to me, (He unwraps the sandwich and holds it out for Chandler) here.
Chandler: Honey, I know youre in pain right now, but Im a little turned on.
Rachel: Okay, lets do it. Ill move in.
[Scene: The slot machines, we see some guy not having any luck. Both Phoebe and the Lurker are lurking him and each stick their heads around the corner at different times This is all set to that Pink Panther song. Finally the guy gives up and walks past the lurker's position, thus giving her the advantage. She scurries in and quickly drops a coin in the slot before Phoebe gets there. Phoebe arrives slightly later and pulls the arm just after the lurker deposits the coin and wins.]
Rachel: Yeah me too. oh! I have an idea. Why don't we all pitch in 50 bucks, we'll pool our money together and then if we win, we'll split it!
Monica: (entering) (Gasps) How did you get in there?!
CHANDLER: I'm hoping that when Bob doesn't show up, she will seek comfort in the open arms of the wry stranger at the next table.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is at the kitchen table and Chandler is in the living room.]
Rachel: I haven't seen you in like.. a year.