words in movies
Chandler: Okay, our news. My company has asked me to head up our office in Tulsa , so as of Monday I'm being officially relocated.
Chandler. Well my boss and I worked out a deal where I only have to be in Tulsa four days a week, so the other three I can be here with you.
Monica: Yeah, you're my husband. I'm not gonna live in a different state than you for 208 days out of the year.
Chandler: That's fast math! We could use you in Tulsa.
Ross: Rach, you can't call people at three in the morning.
Ross: Dr. Gettleman? Yeah I know, I don't think that's a good idea. In fact, I think he's dead.
Rachel: (Grabs the phone and stars dialing) (On phone) (In a high pitch voice) Wiener, Wiener (In a low pitch voice) Wiener, Wiener!!!
Joey: Damnit! Is there no mystery left in romance anymore!?
Phoebe: All right, we'll se you and Mike at the restaurant in a couple hours.
Joey: Why did I have to say Mike? I don't know a Mike! Why couldn't I have said... (Looks through his address book) There's no guy in there!
(Joey walks in and looks around. He's trying to find a Mike for Phoebe)
Mike: Yeah, we met in college. (Off Joey's look) I mean, high school.
(Monica Enters. Chandler is in the kitchen with his laptop)
Chandler: Looking for restaurant jobs for you in Tulsa.
Chandler: Can I just say how much I appreciate you coming with me. When we get to Tulsa I'm taking you for a great dinner at 'Slim Pickings'. 'So Cheesy'? 'Whole Hog'? It's going to be tough to keep Kosher in Tulsa.
Monica: (On phone) Hi, Nancy. Hi, it's Monica Geller. I'm good. Listen, I'm looking for a job in Tulsa. Well yeah, my husband has been relocated...Because I love him! No, I don't want a job in New York. Javo (sp?) is looking? Oh my God! He asked for me personally? Oh my God! Oh, wow, this is really flattering, but I'm moving to Tulsa. Yeah, so if you would tell Javo (sp?) 'I'll take it!'
Joey: (Laughs) Of course we do! Mike is playing a game that we used to play in high school. Yeah, where we pretend we don't know each other. We played all kinds of games. (To Mike) Hey, remember the one where I punch you in the face for not being cool?!
Monica: I'm gonna miss this hand! Okay I know it's a lot to ask, but oh my God Chandler, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Ross: Why? Why? I know it's a little weird, but hey, he's a great doctor, okay? He knows my medical history, and every time I go in there, he makes a big deal. 'Ah look, it's my favorite patient!'
Chandler: Does he say that before he sticks his thermometer in your touchy?
Mike: My name in Mike, and I do play piano.
Phoebe: That wouldn't stand in the way of a true pianist.
Joey: (Walks In)
Ross: Excuse me, I don't mean to be a jerk, but the baby with the rash came in after me.
Ross: Well, let's say, I don't know, you met someone in the pediatrician's office.
Ross: Hmm, yeah. (To a random boy in the waiting room) Come on Ross jr. It's time to go in.
Chandler: Well, you got here just in time. I really have to go buddy. (They hug)
Chandler: (Also very excited) That sounds more fun than the thing we were going to do in Vermont!
Joey: (Checks to see if shes drooling on his shirt.) Okay. Okay, okay, hey. (Lays her down and covers her with a blanket.) There we go, lets get your feet up there. (Looks at her) Good night, Kate. Sweet dreams. (Picks up a garbage can) Im gonna put this can right here in case you have to hurl.
(Phoebe arrives, guitar in hand.)
The Guys: Ohhhh! (They all look up in a moment of reflection.)
Rachel: Oh no wait Pheebs, I think for something like that you just ask them to move in with you. But I'm not sure, Chandler?
Chandler: Okay, I will do it. But I have to warn you; this may make me a better person and that is not the man you feel in love with!
Rachel: Wait a minute! She just made a scene in the middle of the ceremony!
Joey: And shes back in the game.
Rachel: Yeah. (Monica walks away) Nice try! (Rachel puts them in a box.)
Monica: Okay listen, yknow when you move in Rachels room is gonna be empty, you wanna talk about what we want to do with it?
(Kathy enters (Because shes listed in the credits).)
Rachel: Yes! Great! Give me those cigs! Give it! Give it! (She grabs their cigarettes and lighters and throws them in the trash.)
Richard: I didnt ask. You wanna come in?
Monica, Ross, and Joey: (joining in) Home is Home Star stew.
Chandler: Uh Joe, when its one oclock in the morning and you dont come by? Thats okay!
Ross: To talk to Rachel, isn't that why we took a ride in the death-cab?
Ross: People are doing it in front of my book!
Paul: Really?! (She nods in the affirmative.)
Phoebe: (coming in from the bathroom) Oh, good, good, you guys are here! Listen, how would like to spend tomorrow taking care of three incredibly cute little puppies?!
(Joey walks out, while Rachel is pensive. Once he's out of her room, he suddenly realizes who she was talking about and goes back in. He looks at her in disbelief and she looks like she was caught red-handed)
Joey: (in a funny voice) Yeah, so it turns out that it wasnt the hair straightener that started the fire. (Rachel prompts him on what to say next.) No-no, it was the candles. Its very not good leaving candles unattended. In fact, one of the first things they teach you in fire school is (Phoebe suddenly enters.) Uhh Uhh Okay. Well, I have to go now. (Phoebe leaves.)
Rachel: Don't let him in! I'm supposed to be at a regatta gala.
Phoebe: Well, freaked. Cause it turns out that the odds are really sucky. And! This is Frank and Alices like only shot. Like, they are literally putting all of their eggs in my basket.
Ross: Okay, you're in bed. She's over on your side, cuddling. Now you wait for her to drift off, and then you hug her (demonstrates on the cushion) and roll her back over to her side of the bed. And then you rollll a-way. Hug for her! Roll for you.
Rachel: (staring at him) Whno, but yknow who did stop in here looking for ya, Tennille.
Monica: Phoebe, you have a, a twig in your hair.
{Transcibers note: In case youre wondering, and I know you are. Their names are all back to normal. Just in a slightly smaller font than usual to allow Courteney Cox Arquette to fit on one line and not be smaller than the rest of their names. Now, on with the show }
Roger: Aaaah, what's wrong, c'mon. (Pats his leg. She lies down and rests her head in his lap)
Joey: Just casually slip it in, yknow lay the groundwork. Tell her uh, Im a lonerNo! An outlaw! Tell her she doesnt want to get mixed up with the likes of me.
Monica: (trying to change subjects, excitedly) So! Dinner in the kitchen around four! Ill see you then. (Pats Chandler on the shoulder and goes into the living room.)
[Cut to the girls in the kitchen.]
Rachel: Is the window open? Because if there�s a window open, a bird could fly in there.
Tag: When Im in a relationship, I love having a girlfriend.
Joey: What the hell is in there?
Chandler: Well, in spite of the yummy bagels and palpable tension, I've got pants that need to be altered.
Monica: Phoebe, why is there a dog in our apartment?
Phoebe: There's no dog in here.
Chandler: Y'know what I think it is? It's the fishnet stockings. Y'know? Whenever I see a girl in fishnet stockings it reminds me of my father in fishnet stockings.
Elizabeth: Ohh, I wouldnt do it in there. Thats my dads bedroom.
Rachel: (on phone) Ross, hi, it's Rachel. I'm just calling to say that um, everything's fine and I'm really happy for you and your cat...(cut)...I am over you. I am over you and that, my friend, is what they call closure. (She hangs up and tosses phone in the ice bucket.)
Ross: Um, in Phoebe's room. You can't go in there.
Chandler: Well, I, I should go in there.
Dr. Biely: Primarily in the Pierre Shale region of South Dakota.
Chandler: Yes! I've-I've never seen a roll like this in my life!
(Another professor barges in.)
Monica: Yeah, I got this number from this guy at work and I hired a stripper to come dance for you. Am I going in the wife hall of fame or what?!
Ross: I can't believe you guys are moving in together. That's, that's great! I mean...I'm happy for you guys..
(Joey runs off down the hall. Ross tries Monica and Rachel's apartment, but it is locked so he has to stand in the hall and pretend he wasn't listening. Chandler and his mom come out)
Rachel: Hmm. Do you thinkCould you tell me if shes hanging in, in a one bedroom or a two?
Gary Collins: Welcome back to our fall telethon. Now if you've been enjoying the performance of Cirque Du Soleil, (As he is speaking, Joey and the volunteer getting into a shoving match.) and you'd like to see more of the same kind of programming, it's very simple. All you have to do (Joey is knocked down.) is call in your pledge and at that time tell the operator, one of our volunteers, what kind of programming you'd like to (Just as the volunteer sits down, Joey pulls him to the ground.)
(We see Joey who has puffed up his cheeks and Chandler nonchalantly reaches down and pinches Joeys nose shut. In a few seconds, Joey has to move because hes now forced to actually hold his breath.)
Chandler: Eh, somebodys in a good mood!
Waitress: Hey Monica, theres a customer who wants to complement the chef, should I let him in?
Ross: No! No!! No! Can I speak to someone in charge please?! (The librarian brings his boss over.)
RACH: [coldly] When somebody does not buzz you in, Ross, that means go away. That doesn't mean please climb up the fire escape.
Monica: Umm, listen I am sorry, but Ill put some out first thing in the morning.
Chandler: Oooh, did he put a little starch in your bloomers? (Sits up) Who said that?
Joey: Yeah-yeah I like that but just to go in another direction
Chandler: And I will cook anything you want in here (points to the kitchen), and do anything in there! (Points to the bedroom.)
Mr. Treeger:: You think you could make a mess and the big man in coveralls will come in here and clean it up, huh? Well, why dont think of someone else for a change?
Rachel: Oh yeah! (She gasps.) Oh my God! That is our friend! (Monica covers her face.) It's Naked Ross! (Monica turns and buries her face in Chandler's shoulder.)
Rachel: Well yeah, I wish that you would. (He opens the top drawer.) Well, no its not in there! (Closes it.) How about that drawer? (She points to the bottom one and he opens it. She doesnt see the folder she planted and bends over to check.)
Ross: (Angry) I- I- I ca- I can't believe this. I mean, all I asked you to do was keep him in the apartment.
Joey: It was, yeah. I kind of don't want it to end. Hey, you wanna come in for a drink and a bite of corsage?
Tag: (interrupting) Uh Mr. Zelner, Im the one who filled in that evaluation.
Tag: I know I havent worked in an office before, and I really dont have a lot of experience, but uh
Monica: Come on, was it somebody maybe you dated in college?
Phoebe: Yeah, oh Im sorry, it must be really hard to hear! I tell ya, its a lot easier having three babies play Bringing in the Noise, Bringing in da Funk on your bladder! Im so sick of being pregnant! The only happiness I get is from a cup of coffee, which of course is decaf, causeOh! Im pregnant!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is on the phone, Rachel and Monica are sitting in the kitchen.]
Rachel: (to Monica) Did you know he was in there?
Chandler: Stretchy pants! Why, those are the greatest things in the world! If I were you I would wear them every day, every day!
Chandler: Weirder than watching his two moms make out? (Monica nods in agreement.)
Chandler: Had the money in the wrong hand. (Shows her his left hand with the money in it)
Joey: Wow, thats in like 20 minutes. Youd better get dressed.
Rachel: The logic is, that there are two of us and we are both strong enough to break a chair in half!
Monica: Who? I mean have you seen a car come by here in the last hour and a half? I think we should call Ross, maybe he can get a car and come pick us up.
CHANDLER: Huh? Are, uh, any of these cultures, per chance, in the tri-state area?
Rachel: Joey, yknow that you could just not throw the sticks up in the air.
[Cut to Phoebes room, Phoebe has put her helmet on one of her teddy bears and is playing around with it. Ross knocks and pokes his head in the door.]
Doug: So thanks for the warm welcome. Its good to have you guys on my team, and I come to play. I hope you do too. Now, lets go out there and get em! Huh? And remember, there is no I in team.
Guy: Which bedroom do ya want it in Miss Geller?
Pete: Uh, absolutely, yeah, sEnd her in. (Monica enters) Hi.
Rachel: Its back in cage!
Joey: (yelling from the bedroom) Is it back in the cage?
[Scene: Rosss apartment, Phoebe has moved in and has a massage client on her table shes set up in the living room. Ross enters and is shocked to see a naked man lying on the table.]
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is in the kitchen, Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe are sitting around the table writing one notepads while Chandler is looking over their shoulders.]
Rachel: (Comes in the front door and walks towards the kitchen.) Hi.
[Scene: The ticket-counter. Ross and Phoebe have their tickets and start looking at the screens in order to find the gate.]
Monica: Of course not. I mean gosh, Chandler what you did, it's, it's a wonderful thing and I really appreciate it. I know I have this weird thing where I want everything to be in the perfect place, but I'd never expect you to worry about that.
Chandler: Okay, let me just jump in and ask, at what point did you think this was a successful marriage?
Joey: (returning from a deli) Okay, I got it! This place makes the best sandwich in the world!
Joey: There was a seen in Footloose...
Joey: (mocks him, in a whiney voice) look both ways before you cross the street. (Turns and walks headlong into the closed door.)
Rachel: Because I think I just heard her moving around in there.
Rachel: I mean what if this keeps happening? Y'know, they'll-they'll be outside smoking, making all the decisions and I'll just be up in my office breathing my stupid clean air, y'know? And then when the day comes when Kim wants to promote one of us, who do you think she's gonna pick? Me or Smokey Smokerson?
Joey: (Looking around) Uhh do you happen to have a hot girl in there?
Mike: The woman I love... (he walks to Phoebe) I love you... Which is probably something I shouldn't say for the first time in front of my parents... and Tom and Sue...Who are by the way the most sinfully boring I've ever met in my life...
Monica: It's not just the drum noise. Every five minutes, Joey throws his sticks in the air, and I have to hear, "Oh my eye! Oh god, my eye!" I mean, it is so annoying.
Monica: (gets up) Okay, y'know what, Im not fine, Im not. I mean how can I be fine, hearing you come in with her, she wants to see your bedroom.... (pause) Y'know what, what if were friends who dont see other people?
Chandler: He's probably in his room with his current girlfriend Charlie. That's the situation as we know it... (walks to Phoebe and Monica)