words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is mixing some Thanksgiving treat (Im assuming mashed potatoes) in a bowl.]
Chandler: Oh! Thats great, they havent seen the place since I moved in!
Monica: Because they dont know were dating. (Again, trying to quickly change subjects.) Do you think we should eat in the kitchen? (Goes to the sink and the stove to cook.)
Monica: (trying to change subjects, excitedly) So! Dinner in the kitchen around four! Ill see you then. (Pats Chandler on the shoulder and goes into the living room.)
Chandler: Yknow, itll be okay. Itll be okay. Because when they come over, I will be all charming, I will make them fall in love with me, and then well tell em.
Ross: (trying to act manly in front of Janine) No I dont want to play video games, Joey!
Phoebe: Wow, that sounds great! And what are you making Monica, in case Rachels dessert is...[about to say bad] so good that I eat all of it. Theres none left for anybody else!
Rachel: Wow, Monica, I love that, you really have faith in me. Thank you. Technical question, how do you know when uh, the butters done?
Joey: Yeah, yeah, and the Indians taught the Pilgrims what it meant to be hot in the new world!
[Time lapse. The gang is sitting down for Thanksgiving dinner. Chandler is at the head of the table, Mr and Mrs Geller are to his right. Joey and Ross are to his left. Monica is serving things. Phoebe is in the living room and Rachel is at the sink.]
Rachel: I dunno. Yknow to me hell always be Jack Geller, walks in while youre changing.
[Rachel is in the kitchen fiddling with her English truffle. Joey and Ross, anxious to leave and go to Janines party, are egging her on to hurry up.]
Rachel: The beef? Yeah, that was weird to me, too. But then, yknow, I thought well, theres mincemeat pie, I mean thats an English dessert, these people just put very strange things in their food, yknow. [To Joey] Oh! by the way, can I borrow some Rum from your place?
Ross: Beef in a dessert?! I- no no no, there is no way!
[Ross goes to look in the magazine Rachel got her recipe from.]
Joey: (turning to Chandler in a scolding tone) Chandler!
Joey: Did-did it make you wanna walk around in your underwear?
Ross: Okay, remember, we were young. Hey, Spring break, sophomore year, I got high in my bedroom and my parents walked in and smelled it and so I told them that you had gotten stoned and jumped out the window.
Monica: Mom and dad just sent me in here to find out if you (points to Chandler) were trying to get Ross stoned!
Chandler: Your parents caught Ross smoking pot in college and he blamed it on me!
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Time lapse. Jack is still on the couch, picking his teeth with his feet on the table. Phoebe and Judy are sitting on the table looking at him. Ross and Chandler are sitting by the window talking. Rachel and Joey are in the kitchen fooling with Rachels trifle. Monica walks into the living room from the kitchen.]
Joey: Oh and (Ross begins to open the door and Joey says some gibberish word to indicate to Ross that hes not done yet. Ross closes the door again.) Okay, and uh if anyone needs help pretending to like it, I learned something in acting class, try uh, rubbing your stomach (Rubs his stomach) or uh, or saying mmm and uh, oh oh! And smiling (Smiles while pretending to stir a bowl), okay?
Rachel: Oh oh oh, wait! You only got whipped cream in there! Ya gotta take a bite with all the layers!
Monica: (again, lying) Im gonna go into the bathroom so I can look at it in the mirror, as I eat it.
Ross: Wha? No no! Ah! (Ross scarfs all of his trifle down in about a second. He looks like hes going to throw up.) (Lying) All gone! So good! Maybe Chandler has some left.
Monica: (out loud, to her parents) Mom! Dad! Ross smoked pot in college!
Ross: (in a 5 year olds tone) (To Monica) You are such a tattletale! Mom, Dad, you remember that-that time you walked in my room and smelled marijuana?
Monica: Ross married Rachel in Vegas! And got divorced! Again!!!!
Phoebe: (joining in) I love Jacques Cousteau!
Rachel: (reading the recipe magazine, finally figuring out that...) I wasnt supposed to put beef in the trifle!
Mrs. Geller: (rubbing her temples) Thats alot of information to get in in thirty seconds! Alright Joey, if wanna leave, just leave. Rachel, no you werent supposed to put beef in the trifle. It did not taste good. Phoebe, Im sorry, but I think Jacques Cousteau is dead. (Phoebe makes a sad face.) Monica, why you felt you had to hide the fact that you were in an important relationship is beyond me.
Chandler: (In a parent-like tone) Ill talk to them!
Monica: Well actually, I-I didnt eat mine. Its still in the bathroom.
Mrs. Geller: (pointing to herself and Jack) Well we left ours in Monicas bedroom.
Ross: Well, I mean its not all bad. Im learning to appreciate the uh, smaller things in life. Like the sound of a bird and the color of the sky.
Joey: No-no-no! We gotta go! Come on! (Joey picks him up in a firemans carry and carries him out.) Here we go.
Mike: You know, you should really look in a mirror before you call yourself that.
CHAN: Hey, we're having some fun now, huh, Ross? Wanna do another one, huh Russ? OK... eleven letters, atomic element number 101... ends in ium.
Ross: Oh, professor Clerk we're kind of in the middle of a conversation, here.
Chandler: Well look, it's not easy to spend this much time apart, you know. She's entitled to be a little paranoid... or, in this case: right on money! ... You know, she's amazing, and beautiful, and smart, and if she were here right now, ...she'd kick your ass. Look, you're a really nice person... ham stealing and adultery aside. But, what I have with my wife is pretty great, so nothing is ever gonna happen between us.
Monica: I can't just walk away! I've put in four hours!
Chandler: (Still in a loving voice) You're welcome, sweetheart.
Ross: I think I know too but I've been really wrong about this stuff in the past, so...
Monica: Wait a minute, I think Phoebe's right. You know I hear someone else in there with him.
[Time Lapse: Rachel is returning from chasing down the boy in the cape.]
Monica: (as Rachel) Remember back in freshman year? (Talking fast before Rachel can catch her) Well, Billy Dreskin and I had sex on your bed.
Chandler: We share a wall! So either hes great in bed, or she just likes to agree with him a lot.
Charlie: Yeah, can you guys just throw him in the pool later?
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's. Emma is in her bed and Ross and Rachel are rapping and dancing for her.]
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, continued from earlier, everyone is now in the living room drinking champagne.]
Rachel: I mean, you know... Ross and I haven't dated in like... six years...
Ross: You've never said that in your life, have you?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe and Rachel are in the kitchen as there is a knock on the door. Rachel answers it.]
[Scene: Ben's audition, Carol, Ross, and Ben along with about 10 more families are in a waiting room as Joey enters happily.]
Phoebe: Well, you said that you had customers lined up in the street, so I am here to entertain!
[Scene: In the store. Rachel and Phoebe returning from the changing rooms]
Ross: You never cooked since 1996. (Actually Rachel cooked in �609 - TOW Ross Got High�, first aired 1999-11-25.)
Conan: Its a tradition here on Friends after every taping for me to hang out with you guys, (They all laugh) talk down the episode umm The point of this whole thing is what people see in America is: they see Friends, they love the show, it looks like a smooth running machine, but behind the scenes theres deceit, mistrust, and hate. And I thought, I thought wed actually take a look at uh, yknow some of these moments where you guys arethere are mistakes. You make mistakes.
Joey: Hey! Uh, this is just to give you an idea. Okay well, we can put screens here, (In front of the crib.) so that the baby has privacy, and-and-and maybe a mobile over the crib. And uhOh look! Heres a baby monitor (Holds it up), which until the baby comes we can use as walkie-talkies. Huh?
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's. Only Chandler is in the living room and walks to the bathroom.]
(she slaps him in the face, Mike looks like he doesn't believe what just happened. Precious leaves, and he turns to Phoebe.)
Chandler: Honey, you've been in there for a long time... Is everything okay?
Chandler: Hit yourself in the tooth?
Monica: Sure, what do you have in mind?
Phoebe: Ok, well that's bad. But don't you think it might be different with someone else? Perhaps a blonde who always uses a toilet. Except for once in the ocean.
Joey: Okay, Ross, I realise that you didn't expect to walk in and see that, but.. Let me explain, okay?
Rachel: No, come on, that is a lie. We also kissed in Barbados.
Chandler: There's a hair in my coffee.
(Chandler looks like he did the time he swallowed the toy in 605 TOW Joey's Porsche. It's the hair in his coffee.)
Frank Jr.: I haven't slept in four years!
Mr. Geller: Ive been thinking about getting rid of it. I was driving it the other day and saw my reflection in a store window. Your mothers right, I do look like an ass.
(She gives Monica a big binder that's perfectly in order.)
(Rachel lets her anger show too. Hideously embarrassed, the doctors drain their glasses in the vicious pause which follows. The telephone rings, but the girls just glower at each other, silently daring the other to move first. Finally both guys jump up, and Michael wins.)
(The oven timer pings in the kitchen.)
Ross: Well I didnt! I didnt propose! (Pause) Unless uh (Pause) Did I? I havent slept in forty hours and it does sound like something I would do.
Monica: Why? What did you do in the bathroom?
[Scene: The hallway in Ross's building. Joey and Rachel are on their way to Ross's dinner.]
Ross: Oh, (door is locked) holy molly are we in a pickle now.
(Owen comes running in.)
Monica: (Holding a shirt in front of Ross.) Okay, maybe this will make your teeth look less white. (Ross has a big smile.) Nope. Okay, colors that dont work are blue, yellow, green, red, black, white, orange, and purple.
Gary: Yeah, we took a little stroll in the park and no one was around, so
Charlie: You're on fire! I'll call you in the morning, okay?
Joey: Yeah. I'll see you in the morning.
Monica: Alright, let me ask you this question: How many of you thought the music was fine, but not in keeping with the tone of the restaurant? (a few raise their hands again).
Rachel: No! None! I mean, my first night in the city, he mentioned something about asking me out, but nothing ever happened, so I just... (to Joey): W-well, what else did he say? I mean, does he, like, want to go out with me?
Ross: But all kidding aside, in much the same way that Homo ergaster [1] is now thought to be a separate species from Homo erectus...
Assistant: You might wanna get back in there.
(Gunther is eavesdropping in the background.)
Chandler: Because thats where Joey gave me some stuff to store that Ive never seen before in my life! Okay, that did not just happen! (He does a weird clicky motion with his fingers, that kinda hard to describe.)
[Cut to a hallway in the building, Monica and Phoebe are knocking on a door. Mr. Heckles emerges.]
Rachel/Ross: Ooh, your lips are so soft... Do that again... (and she/he moves in for another kiss. Joey, pushes her head away again...)
Chandler: Oh, come on! Its not like this is an everyday occurrence for me! I mean usually Im pretty much just in there by myself.
(Joey walks in)
Monica: Ehm, we were friends in 1992.
Rachel: Or...I could call in sick and not deal with it at all...
[Scene: Joey in his hotel in room in Barbados]
Monica: Oh, that's Nana, right there in the middle. (Reads the back) 'Me and the gang at Java Joe's'.
(Phoebe and Amanda walk in)
Phoebe: Please, Monica? In the hall?
(Rachel and Elizabeth go upstairs. Paul starts for the car, but notices his luggage is still out and decides to take in into the bedroom.)
Joey: Okay. Rachel and Phoebe are already there, okay? So they probably started without us. We could just slip in and no-one needs to know where we were! (he raises his hands and on his right one there's a Rangers foam finger)
[Flashback to 503 - TOW The Triplets] [Scene: A hallway in the hospital, Monica and Chandler are talking.]
David: Yeah, Rachel, Chandler, and Ross had to try to get a couch up a staira very narrow New York stairwell and that was probably I-I think it was the hardest Ive-Ive laughed in my life period.
Chandler: (to Ross) You be cool. (He opens the door and lets her in as they all turn there backs on her.)
Chandler: Dude, it's Chandler. Let me in.
Ross: Look, no-no, hey, hey, don't worry about it! In nine years, she and I will be right there. (Goes and sits on the couch dejectedly.)
Chandler: So? Would you care to join me in our first dance as husband and wife?
The Museum Official: (on phone) Hi, this is Heldi from the Morgan Chase museum. Im calling for Monica Geller. I want to let her know that there was a cancellation and if shes still interested in having the Bing-Geller wedding at our facility, it is available (Chandler runs to answer the phone.)
Ross: so then President Steve told everyone that I was a cheapskate, and now the whole building hates me! A little kid spit on my knee! Y'know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna throw a party. That's right. For everyone in the building, and I'm gonna sit them down and explain to them, I am not a bad guy. I am not a cheap guy! I'm just a guy who-who stands up for what he believes in. A man with principles.
Ross: My doctoral dissertation is in the library at school, I went to see it, and there were students makin babies right in the middle of the Paleontology section!
Phoebe: Okay, well if I was in this for the money, Id be a millionaire by now, y'know. You just got to get out of that jingle head sweetie.
Chandler: Pheebs, if she could come back as a couch, wed really appreciate it. (Joey nods in agreement)
Monica: I'm parked in a garage on Morton!
(Ross, Chandler and Monica are in the kitchen area)
Monica: We're Aunt Monica and uncle Chandler, by the way. You may not recognize us, because we haven't spoken to your parents in seventeen years!
Ross: Joey! You're in charge, ok? You make sure nobody leaves! (leaves)
Rachel: Ross, um, don’t forget to get a shot of Emma’s cake. It’s in a box in the fridge.
Ross: What?! It is?! (He tries to quickly remove his gloves, but runs into trouble and finally throws them off of his hands like a hockey player in a fight and grabs Rachels belly.)
Rachel: So, Im in my apartment doing the Soap Opera Digest crossword puzzle, and guess who the clue is for three down. (She hands the magazine to Joey.)
Rachel: Yep. Oh, yeah, look you great. (She puts her arm in his and checks how they would look as a couple.) Oh yeah. Yeah, this looks great. (Pause) Umm, so you like it?
Monica: Yeah, and we've paid for a room, that we're supposed to be in right now!
Rachel: Oh, I have to pee. If I dont come out in five minutes its because Ive choked to death on the potpourri stink. (Goes into the bathroom.)
Rachel: (worried) Be-cause Ross is the father of my child! You know... and I... want him to hook up with lots of women! (pause) I just... All I'm saying is... I don't think that Joey and Charlie have anything in common.
Ross: Joey, we just saw you come in. You ran past us on the stairs.
I made a man with eyes of coal And a smile so bewitchin', How was I supposed to know That my mom was dead in the kitchen? (shakes bell) La lalala la la la la lalala la la...
Chandler: Hey it's the most eligible man in NY. How's the moving on going?
Chandler: That's fast math! We could use you in Tulsa.
Monica: You guys do that? Chandler won't even have sex in our bathroom!
Phoebe: Left! (Rachel hands her the napkin in her left hand and they both unfold and read them.) Thank you.
Joey: (Grunting) Hmm. (Monica opens the front door and comes in.)
Rachel: (Emma starts crying in the other room) Oh sorry, hold on. Let me just check on the baby!
Ross: She... she only dates geniuses and Nobel Prize winners. Oh my God, at the chinese restaurant earlier today, I put chopsticks in my mouth and pretented to be a woolly mammoth.
Chandler: I dont know if Ive told you this, but hes kinda tried to get in contact with me a lot over the last few years
Pete: I want to become the Ultimate Fighting Champion! Its the most intense physical competition in the world, its banned in 49 states!