words in movies
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's apartment, Ross is cleaning out the fridge. Joey walks from his room. He looks like he just woke up.]
Ross: I...reorganized the fridge. See, bottom shelf: meats and dairy. (Theres nothing on the shelf.) Middle shelf: fruits and vegetables. (Theres one lone tomato.) And top shelf: expired products. (The shelf is jammed packed.)
Chandler: (Angrily) Alright, whoever this is, stop calling me! (Ross and Joey laugh silently.) Its been six months! Its not funny!
Rachel: Oh my god. Ok you guys, theres Danny. Watch. Just watch this. (He walks past the couch to the counter.) See?! Still pretending hes not interested. Ohh, hes coming over. Just pretend like we dont know him. Weve forgotten who he is.
Danny: (Looking at Monica) Absolutely! Is Friday okay?
[Scene: Estelle's (Joey's Agent) Office, Joey is there.]
Joey: (Very discouraged) Okay, is there anything else?
[Scene: In front of Macys, Phoebe is collecting donations and ringing her bell.]
Phoebe: Happy Holidays. Feliz Navidad. Allo, and Merry Christmas. (A man put some change in her bucket.) Ohh thank you sir. Here's some joy. (She waves her hand up and down as if she is spreading joy.)
Phoebe: Is that a new Swede jacket? It looks really expensive.
Monica: Yes Phoebe, but this is all I have. Okay? (She pours out the rest of her change purse into the bucket.)
Phoebe: But, can't you leave the dollar? This money is for the poor.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Joey is telling Ross how he didn't get the part.]
Ross: (grabbing a notepad and sitting down) All right, we'll start off slow. The only thing you have to do tonight is come up with the name of your main character.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is returning. Monica enters from her room wearing nothing but a robe.]
Rachel: Well, you should be, this is all your fault! You meddled in our relationship!!
Rachel: She was kinda stupid. You're right. All right, I'm just gonna go on the date. I'm gonna go on the date. That is the new plan.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Joey is trying to write his movie, Chandler is playing a game on the counter by trying to flip a ping pong ball with a spoon into a nearby bowl.]
Joey: Because I think this character is going to be suspicious about stuff.
Joey: Chandler, I can't be playing games, Ross is gonna be home soon. And I have to write five whole pages if I'm gonna stick to his schedule.
Joey: All right, all we need is a little lighter fluid.
Chandler: Do you even remember which part of the wall is not spackle?
[Scene: In front of Macys, Phoebe is still ringing her bell. A guy puts some change into the bucket.]
Phoebe: Hey!! (The bucket starts smoking.) The charity's on fire! Help! (Yet another guy walks by carrying a cup, which Phoebe grabs.) Oh good! Thank you, I need that. (She throws onto the smoldering fire. Suddenly the bucket erupts in flames.) Whoa! What is that?! (She sniffs the cup.) (To the guy.) It's nine o'clock in the morning!
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Ross is reading what Joey wrote.]
Ross: All right. (Reading.) A room. A man enters, he looks suspicious. (Stops reading a flips the page to find the next one is blank.) That's it? (Joey shrugs.) Joey, you're supposed to have five pages done by now! Including an exciting incident! (Flipping through the rest of the pad.) And what is, and what is all this?! (Reading.) The official rulebook of Fireball.
Ross: This is helping your career?! Huh? I thought you wanted to be an actor not the creator of crazy lawsuit game!
(He tries to fire a burnt tennis ball into the bowl Chandler is standing by, but Ross grabs the ball away from him.)
Danny: Oh hey, great, you're up. Rachel, this is my sister Krista. Krista, this is Rachel.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is complaining to Ross and Monica about the bucket.]
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Ross is cleaning the foosball table, Joey is working on his script.]
Chandler: The only reason you're doing this to Joey is because you're bored. Okay, it's not his fault that you're unemployed.
Ross: And the reason I'm doing this is because I am Joey's friend. And if you were a good friend, you'd be doing the same thing.
Krista: Oh, this is so good (A piece of cake.) you have got to try it. (She takes some on her finger and feeds it to Danny. Then takes a little more and does it again. Meanwhile, the rest of the gang stares on in shock. Then they pick up a part of it and some filling falls into his lap.)
Krista: Here, I'll get it. (She grabs a napkin and tries to wipe it up. The thing that gets the rest of the gang going is that she's whipping awfully close to his crotch. In fact, she is whipping his crotch. Chandler's about to come out of his chair.)
[Scene: In front of Macys, Phoebe has adorned her bucket with numerous signs. Like "We are not a urinal!" and "I have no Macys info." And other stuff like that. She also has a scowl on her face as she is ringing her bell. A little old lady walks up to make a donation but Phoebe stops her.]
Krista: (calling from the bathroom) Danny! Hurry up! The bath is getting cold!
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Ross is there as Chandler enters.]
Joey: Yeah, well, that's fine, but the important thing is that I finished it. And uh, I think it's really good, but y'know it'd really help me is if I could hear it. So would you guys read it for me?
Chandler: What is up?
Monica: This is disgusting!
Rachel: Okay, bla-bla-bla-bla!! Who is it?!
Chandler: (looking at the tape) Joey, this is Die Hard 1 again.
Rachel: So how is the uhm... baby styling business going?
Ross: We fell asleep! That is all.
Monica: Oh my God yes! Who is she?
Rachel: That is the Coast Guard.
Chandler: Well, lets see (Finding the picture he wants.) Okay uh, is that her? (Pointing to the picture.)
[Scene: Street in front of the London Marriott, Joey and Chandler exit. Joey is carrying a video camera and is shooting Chandler.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is entering, Rachel and Phoebe are already there.]
Rachel: Oh, come on! This is crazy! Cant we just flip a coin?!
Phoebe: See? This is exactly why you shouldnt lie!
Ross: You know what I don't care. The only person I cared about getting dressed, is the one person that says she's not even gonna go. Look Rach, I'm sorry. Okay. Look, I-I wa, I was a jerk. I'm sorry I yelled. I want you there, I need you there. Look, what, what can I do that can show you how much, how much I want you to be there.
Phoebe: Oh, I know, we should have been more prepared. (she looks around) It's okay. Now, the way I see it, our real competition now is Cameron. Oh my God, they just took her sweater off. Look at those arms! Hello Michelin Man.
Phoebe: (To Joey) You are unbelievable! I spent so much time finding the perfect girl for you, you know. Mary Ellen is really smart and cute and loose.
Rachel: Really?! (Taking his resume) Okay well then, all right, well just have a seat there. Umm, so whatswhat iswhats your name?
Joey: Why is 10 the highest?
Ross: No, 10 is the highest.
Chandler: So this is nice! I wish I didnt have to go, believe me! But unfortunately I have to. (He gets up and Joey moves over next to Ross.) Oh uh, by the way, whats the name the girl youre dating?
Ross: Because its the highest. (Joey shrugs his shoulders) Okay, Rachel youre up first. (Rachel stands up and gets ready.) Situation No. 1: Youre with Monica, the wedding is about to start when Monica gets cold feet. Go! (Joey is playing the part of Monica.)
Ross: It is time for you to give your maid of honor speech.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is reading the newspaper as the phone rings. He lets the machine answer it.]
Phoebe: No, you don't! She's going to Paris! She is going to meet somebody. Do you know how many hot guys there are in Paris? It's... It's a city of Gunthers!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is telling Monica and Rachel what he has to do.]
Phoebe: Rachel? Patrick is really rich. (To Patrick) Give her some money.
[Scene: Rachels Office, Tag is arriving as Rachel is standing there.]
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is pacing, waiting for Chandler to return. Chandler enters.]
Rachel: Yeah, this is Tag. Tag, this is Phoebe. Phoebe, can I see you for a second? (Goes into office.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there as Rachel enters carrying a shopping bag.]
Phoebe: This stuff is great!
Chandler: Im saying that she is a devil woman! Yknow I mean you think you know someone and then they turn around and they sleep with Nick! Nick, with his rock hard pecs, and his giant man-nipples! I hate him, I hate her! Well, I dont hate her, I love her. This is all my fault really.
Phoebe: Well, we just decided that Rachel is gonna be your maid of honor.
Joey: Is this movie gonna be my big break?
[Scene: N.Y.Us University Library, Ross is entering with Chandler.]
Rachel: No, there is no Rachel Greep, but then this other girl overheard us and she was all, "Im Rachel Greep! Im Rachel Greep!" and he let her right in.
Janice: (notices Monicas engagement ring) Ohh! What is that on your finger?! Im blind!
Ross: It-itThe point is my natural charisma has made him fail his midterm.
Dr. Green: The wedding! Theres going to be a wedding. Young lady, dont you sit there and tell me my first grandchild is going to be a bastard! (Rachel pauses) Rachel Karen Green, tell me there is gonna be a wedding!!
Monica: Oh my God, shes not gonna like the chicken that night either is she?!
Rachel: Ross is on a date with my sister and they shut the drapes two and a-half-hours ago.
[Scene: San Diege Zoo. Ross is still at the monkey cages. A janitor is sweeping.]
Phoebe: (to the girls) Hi! Hi! Listen, my friend Ross is about to be divorced for the third time, but wouldnt you date him?
Monica: Is that all?
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Phoebe are there again, only now theyre not talking to each other. Phoebe is loudly stirring her coffee.]
Monica: (To Chandler) This is what happens when you dont register for gifts!
Monica: Is he doing his shark attack bit yet?
Rachel: I Am I the only one that this is embarrassing for?
Ross: What? (She takes the sign off and hands it to him.) Thats great. That is great. (Crumples up the paper and throws it down in anger.) What did we just finish talking about Ben?!
Monica: Is it like for dinosaur emergencies. 'Help, come quick, they're still extinct.'
Rachel: Vrrbddy, the bll is drrbing.
Monica: Oh no sweetie, no! This is my fault, I wasnt clear! Im really sorry. And listen, you take as much time as you need to move out okay? Theres absolutely no rush.
Chandler: Is that what youre thinking about right now?
Monica: Thats right. Thats right. And that is why you cant stay here tonight. And probably why you shouldnt come to the wedding.
Ross: Okay, I did not abandon Rachel! Okay? Emily showed up at the airport! I had to go after her! I mean, I-I did what I had to do! She's my wife! Rachel is my wife! Y'knowEmily! Emily, is my wife! Man, what is that?
Rachel: Is the window open? Because if there�s a window open, a bird could fly in there.
[Cut to Monica and Chandlers, Rachel is entering.]
Rachel: Well, I was going to, but then I figured, you know... you're food is so delicious and perfect, you can never have too many of those pumpkin things.
Chandler: I am only one man! (Monica heads out) Okay Ross, time is up!
CHANDLER: All right. (reading her answer) "My husband is sleeping with his secretary." She's married!
Ross: Okay. (goes over to the counter) (to Chandler) What ah, what is the matter with you? Whats going on?
Ross: Phoebe, why is your bag moving?
Chandler: I'm not gonna talk to her, she obviously got my message and is choosing not to call me. Now I'm needy and snubbed. God, I miss just being needy.
Joey: What the hell is in there?
Phoebe: Well, freaked. Cause it turns out that the odds are really sucky. And! This is Frank and Alices like only shot. Like, they are literally putting all of their eggs in my basket.
Monica: Rosss apartment is nice! How come we don't hang out here more often?
Monica: Phoebe, why is there a dog in our apartment?
Mrs. Geller: Is everything all right, dear?
{Transcribers Note: This is an hour-long special episode. Which means that the first part of this episode is episode 615. The second part of this episode is episode 616. Since episodes 615 and 616 are combined into one file, thats why there is no episode 616 in the season 6 table of contents and the numbers jump from episode 615 to 617.}
Chandler: What is it doing here?
Ross: What is that? (refering to the sandwich)
Ross: She is not (Realizes) Shes gay. Oh my God. She is so gay! I cant believe this.
Chandler: (scared) Is there a puppy here?
Joey: Fine! Take their advice. No one ever listens to me. When the package is this pretty, no one cares what's inside.
[Cut to the balcony, Tag is looking down while Rachel enters.]
Monica: Look it is not my fault that your chairs are incredibly ugly!
Monica: (angrily) That is exactly why I do not lend you stuff!! (Rachel looks over at Phoebe in resignation.) Okay?! I mean, first it's my jewelry! And if it's not my jewelry, it's-it's my blue sweater! And if it's not my sweater, it's my sunglasses!
Rachel: Well, what is a boss for? Hug it out! (They hug)
Ross: Yknow, if, if this is too weird for you, we can still back out at (A knock on the door interrupts him.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is on the couch and Joey is entering.]
ROSS: Ok, ok look, see, the thing is we're, we're not gonna fight you guys.
Elizabeth: This is my father, Paul Stevens. Dad, this is Ross Geller.
Rachel: Well Joey, I hate to admit it, your way of sailing is a lot more fun.
(They both walk over to where Rachel is opening her gifts. Rachel sees her first gift is a fruit basket.)
Joey: Rach, there is a decent place to
Ross: That is so unfair!
Phoebe: His first big kids bike, this is so exciting!
Phoebe: Yeah, oh Im sorry, it must be really hard to hear! I tell ya, its a lot easier having three babies play Bringing in the Noise, Bringing in da Funk on your bladder! Im so sick of being pregnant! The only happiness I get is from a cup of coffee, which of course is decaf, causeOh! Im pregnant!
Receptionist: Oh that one is available now, but only identical twins are eligible. Its a twins study.
Monica: Hello? (Listens) What?! (Listens) You what?! (Listens) Hey you listen here missy! (Listens) Wh(She is hung up on.)
Rachel: Hi. Tag, I have a conference call today is that correct?
[Scene: Rachels Outer Office, Tag is sitting at his desk as Rachel walks up. She stops and watches him pick up the phone.]
Rachel: (taking off her sweater) Okay umm, Ross? I'm-I'm really warm, so I'm going to be taking off my sweater. Now, I'm just letting you know that this is not an invitation to the physical act of love.
Monica: (turning a light on) Who is that?!
Monica: Hi. Do you know what time it is?
Monica: Oh, Nancy Thompson from Phoebes old massage place is getting fired.
Chandler: Oh, come on Monica, reliving past pain and getting depressed is what Thanksgiving is all about. Y'know, for me anyway. And of course, the Indians.
Phoebe: (gasps) Does that mean Carcass is available?
Chandler: What is the matter with you?
(There is a knock on the door and Monica answers it. There is a woman standing there.)
Monica: What am I gonna do?! That is the dress! That is the dress! Wh Chandler wants the band. What do I do?
Woman: Hi, is Rachel here? Im her sister.