words in movies
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is knocking on Rachels door, whose door frame is decorated with balloons. The rest of the gang is there as well. Rachel opens the door and the gang blow on noisemakers.]
(There is no response from Rachel.)
Joey: Come on Rach! Look, turning thirty is not that big a deal.
Ross: Oh really. Is that how you felt when you turned thirty?
[Flashback to Joeys thirtieth birthday party. It is being held in Monica and Chandlers apartment.]
[Cut back to Rachels party, everyone is now eating breakfast, except Rachel.]
Ross: Hey, 30 is not that old! Do you know how old the Earth is?
Rachel: Late thirties? Oh come on you guys! Is it just me? Am I overreacting to this?
[Flashback to Chandlers thirtieth birthday party. It is also being held in Monica and his apartment. He is about to blow out the candles on his birthday cake.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, breakfast is finished but Rachels still down.]
Joey: Yeah, youre roommate is a soap opera star.
[Flashback to: The Street in front of Central Perk, Ross and Joey are holding a yellow tape across the road and everyone is cheering Phoebe as she bounces around the corner on a hippity-hop.]
Phoebe: I did it! One mile on a hippity-hop! Thats it!! Thats everything I wanted to do before I was thirty. Oh, except I wanted to patch things up with my sister. But oh well. Yay!! (They all cheer again.) And-and girls this thing is a Godsend if you know what I mean. (Rachel and Monica look intrigued and as they all head into Central Perk, Rachel picks up the hippity-hop that Phoebe left behind.)
Monica: Well, doing nothing on your thirtieth is better than doing something stupid, like Ross.
[Flashback to: A street, Ross is sitting in his newly purchased MGB. Which is one of the better British sports cars ever made. Of course, better is a relative term. Which reminds me of a joke. Why dont the British make computers? Because they couldnt figure out how to make them leak oil. Anyway, the gang is all staring at his new purchase.]
Ross: Thats not what this is about okay? I-I am a sports car enthusiast. I have always been into cars.
(He starts the car and surprisingly in fires right up and comes to a nice idle. (Both can be rarities with British sports cars with their lovely Lucas ignition systems, which tend not to work especially in the rain.) Anyway, this being New York he is parallel parked on a street with the car in front of him only inches ahead of his bumper, likewise with the car behind him. Hes completely boxed in and cant move more than two inches. He tries to get out several times by bumping the bumpers of both cars to no avail.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Phoebe is pouring Rachel some coffee.]
[Flashback to Monica and Chandlers apartment. Chandler has a bunch of people over in formal wear to give Monica a surprise birthday party. Joey is coming out of the bathroom and removing his tie.]
(Joey walks away and Mr. and Mrs. Geller walk up. Mr. Geller is wearing this ancient velvet tuxedo.)
Chandler: Okay, here is the thing. We have thrown a very formal surprise party for you in there! All of your friends are in there and your parents!
[Scene: Rosss birthday, Joey is now trying to get his car out while Ross is directing him.]
Woman: (To Joey) Is this yours?
Ursula: Yea-huh! Thats what is says on my birth certificate.
Phoebe: Your middle name is Pamela?
Phoebe: Well, I never knew mine. Do you remember what it is?
Chandler: Now, there is a dress laid out on your bed. (Monica stumbles on the steps.) Okay, (catches her) youre doing great. Youre doing great. Youre doing fine.
(Chandler walks over to where the rest of the gang is.)
[Scene: Rachels birthday, everyone is presenting their presents to Rachel.]
[Scene: Rachels birthday, a time lapse has occurred. Rachel is coming back into the living room carrying a notepad.]
Ross: Which is fine! Because you just turned(Removes two candles from the cake)twenty-eight!
Rachel: No! Ross, no! It is not fine! Eh-eh-according to my plan I should already be with the guy I wanna marry!
[Scene: Monicas birthday, Monica is now dressed and is being helped out by Chandler and Rachel.]
Chandler: (To Monica) Now all you have to do is just get through a little bit more, okay? Then we can put you in bed, okay? Just smile and dont talk to anyone.
Monica: I really like to say that Im-um (Pause) Yknow what Id really like to say? Im drunk!! (Mrs. Geller pulls the camera down.) Thats right mom and dad your little Harmonica is hammered!! (Ross grabs the camera out of his dads hands.) And guess what! Ive been drunk before! And Ive smoked a cigarette! And I got a box of Ding-Dongs hidden in my underwear drawer! Its all okay. Its okay because I turned thirty today. And, and I can do anything I want! Because I am a grown up. (Falls over sideways with Ross filming the fall.)
Phoebe: I lost a whole year! I cant believe it! This is so unfair!
[Cut outside, Joey is catching up with Phoebe.]
[Scene: Rosss birthday, his car is still trapped in its spot. Now Joey, Phoebe, and Ross are at the front of the car with Monica, Rachel, and Chandler at the rear of the car.]
Ross: Okay, is everybody clear? Were gonna pick it up and move it. Now all we need is teamwork, okay? Were gonna lift the car and slide it out. Lift and slide!
[Scene: Rachels birthday, she is coming into the hallway where Joey and Tag are playing with the scooter.]
Tag: Rachel, dont do this. This is just because youre turning thirty.
Rachel: Yeah, it is! But youre just a kid! I mean youre 25!
[Time lapse, Rachel is entering her apartment after breaking up with Tag.]
[Scene: Rosss birthday, night has fallen and Joey and Ross are walking by where his car is parked to find that both cars blocking him in have left.]
Monica: (on phone) Awww, y'know what your nickname is, Mr. Big
Joey: Oh. That is quite a situation. Uh, do you see any like, powder?
[Cut too later, the moving process is progressing steadily. Monica is trying to lift a heavy box, as Rachel comes in from Chandlers bedroom.]
Joey: What-what is it, what is it?
Rachel: Yes! Yes! Yes, you do want to know! This is unbelievable!
Rachel: Well-well that's 'cause I went down there and they were all smoking. This is actually the smell of success.
Rachel: Or Carol! But theyre funny to kids and who is it hurting?!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is there to apologize to Phoebe.]
Rachel: That really is something; that's really cool.
Chandler: Oh yeah, me too. Y'know if this shirt is dirty. (Smells it.) Yep.
Rachel: Is he romantic with her?
Monica: Well that's because you always sleep to noon, silly! This is what 9 looks like.
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there as Ross enters.]
Rachel: Ross look, look this is good for you. Okay? Lets face it, so far the guys not lovin ya! But I can turn that around! I got the inside track! We can all go out to dinner, yknow? And I can talk you up! Ross, the guy is a very, very successful lawyer!
[Scene, The Airport, continued from last season, Rachel is waiting for Ross to come of the plane, when she sees he's coming off with another woman.]
Doug: Hi! And this is my wife Kara.
Monica: Yes, I'm sure! Rachel is there something that you want to talk me about?
Phoebe: That fan kinda looks like ours. And the birdcage and the wait a sec! This is our exact living room!
[Time Lapse, the babies are finally asleep. Good for Phoebe! The only problem is, Monicas apartment looks like a tornado, a hurricane, a swarm of locusts, fire, brimstone, hail, and giant man-eating, radioactive ants have torn the place apart. Needless to say, its messy enough to cause Monica to die of shock right away. Parents with small children know what Im talking about.]
Phoebe: Nothing! (Picks up and sets the chick down on the floor.) (To the chick.) This is not over!
Ross: Yeah. Theres no breaking them up, is there?
Janice: Ohh, well when you said all you were going to be doing between now and the time you leave is packing, you didnt really leave me much choice. Did you?
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is complaining about Carol.]
Chandler: What do you want from me, Ive never met the guy. So anyway, Rachel, Im sorry you cant stay, (Rachel is upset about leaving the orgy with the cigarette guy.) but the rest of us have a lot of work to do. (The cigarette guy starts rubbing Chandlers back.) What are you doing? (The guy just nods) All right, listen, Ive got to wake up!
Rachel: There he is!
PHOEBE: I'm just, I'm, I'm, I'm used to playing for grown-ups. Ya know, they just, grown-ups drink their coffee and do their grown-up thing, ya know, and kids listen. This is a huge responsibility. What? Are you gonna kiss me?
[Scene: A kitchen somewhere. Monica is interviewing for a job]
[Scene: Ross's now empty apartment, he is spackling some holes shut as the gang comes to apologize.]
[The final one is from Episode 607: The One Where Phoebe Runs, Joey has been trying to repel Janice and sees its not working to his liking so hes confronting her about the sexual tension.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is desperately trying to make his Valentines Day gift. He takes a paper cup, turns it upside down, sticks two pencils into the top, and hangs a coat hanger from the bottom.]
Rachel: All right. So you're telling me that there is nothing going on between you and Chandler.
[Scene: The Chinese Restaurant, Ross and Carol are talking. Kristin is not there.]
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's, Rachel is placing CDs into her antique apothecary table as Phoebe returns home.]
Janice: What is wrong now?!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is showing off her new dollhouse. Its a huge dollhouse, that takes up the entire living room table.]
Phoebe: (To Chandler) You're kinda stepping on the song. (She gets ready to play but is stopped by )
Ross: (entering) Okay, that's it. I cannot make this decision! It is too difficult, so I'm just gonna leave it entirely to the gods of fate. (He holds up and starts shaking a )
Ross: Is everything okay?
Ross: Oh, thanks, thanks. So Monica tells me that uh, you dont want to play anymore because me and y'know my talent. Is that true?
MRS. WALLACE: Is she gonna be all right?
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's class; the class has ended and Phoebe is talking to one of her classmates.]
[Scene: Bloomingdale's, Rachel is fixing Joey up with some new clothes.]
Ursula: Who is it?
Joey: Yeah, but sandwich time is right now. (Removes a sandwich and starts eating.)
Man: Oops, I'm sorry. Excuse me. Is this the umm, the memorial?
(Needless to say, Phoebe is stunned into silence. And one audience member gasps.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, after the funeral, everyone is there.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Joey is telling Monica what the casting director was trying to get too.]
Chandler: (grabbing the phone) Of course he has this big huge dog! That uh, barks into the night. (Listens.) Well, who doesn't love dogs? (Thinks.) Ah, he's a tap dancer! (Listens.) Yes, some would say that is a lost art. (Thinks.) He's a pimp! (Listens.) There you go! Yes, he's a pimp. He's a big, tap dancing pimp! (Pause.) Hello?
Joey: I am telling you Ross, she is definitely gonna fall in love with you again! Now, is that what you want?
Ross: Is that funny? Am I supposed to be laughing?
Ross: Is that what I want?
Chandler: Hey, is Rachel here?
Ross: Yes, but also (Pauses to let Ben answer, but he doesnt.) Hanukkah! See, you're part Jewish, and-and Hanukkah is a Jewish holiday.
Joey: All right, hold on! Hold on. Hold on. This is Ross, okay? He's our friend. He obviously went crazy. He obviously lost his mind.
[Scene: Central Perk, Frank Sr. is just arriving.]
Ross: Well I, thats the thing, I dont know! I mean, whenever I brought it up with her she said, (In a British accent.) "This is so fantastic! Why do we have to talk about the future? Lets just enjoy "
Ross: Well Mr. Big Shot is better than wethead.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Brenda is shaking out the rugs on the balcony as Monica pouts in the living room.]
(She is wearing this giant straw hat, the brim on it must be at least, least foot wide.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is there as Monica enters carrying a huge stack of newspapers.]
Rachel: I just don't know if the world is ready for you and your bag.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is eating some Chinese food.]
Joey: (Very discouraged) Okay, is there anything else?
Rachel: I'd say from the looks of it; our naked buddy is moving.
[later in the bathroom Monica is looking in the drawer, Rachel runs up]
Ross: Ahh. (notices the table) Ooh, is this a ah, is this a bad time?
(He tries to fire a burnt tennis ball into the bowl Chandler is standing by, but Ross grabs the ball away from him.)
[Scene: The beach house, the next morning. Ross is passed out on the kitchen counter. He wakes up with a start and has one of the pages of the letter stuck to his face.]
Donny Osmond: Yeah! Welcome, it is Soap Opera week here on Pyramid, let's meet our contestants. First, Gene Lester is a database specialist, he's gonna be playing with "Days of Our Life's" star Joey Tribbiani! (Joey's amazed at the place and he keeps looking around till he realizes the audience is applauding him)
Chandler: Y'know that is a popular opinion today I must say.
Monica: Oh, is it that pinball machine with the big bow on it?
Chandler: (angrily) Is that supposed to be funny! I was really worried over here!
Phoebe: (to the woman behind her) This place is so depressing. If I had to work here I'd kill myself. (she turns around and the clerk behind the counter heard her.) But you obviously haven't.
(Joey turns and is angry that Chandler didnt come up with the answer.)
Rachel: All right. Look. Gavin...I...I guess I felt guilty that you were here, which I shouldn't. You know Ross and I are not inany relationship but...he is the father of my child, and you know we do live together and plus there is just so muchhistory...you know it's just...I don't know, I'm sorry, I'm just all over the place.
Rachel: Oh, god, this is great! The plane is gone, so it looks like I'm stuck here with you guys.
All: Yeah, it is! Naked Ross!!
Monica: (looking at the flyer) This is all of your things.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Monica are sitting on the couch playing cards, and Phoebe is working on a new song.]
Chandler: (on phone) Hey Mr. Kostelic! How's life on the fifteenth floor? (Listens) Yeah, I miss you too. (Listens) Yeah, it's a lot less satisfying to steal pens from your own home, you know? (Listens) Well, that's very generous (Listens) er, but look, this isn't about the money. I need something that's more than a job. I need something I can really care about.... (Listens) And that's on top of the yearly bonus structure you mentioned earlier? (Listens) Look, Al, Al... I'm not playing hardball here, OK? This is not a negotiation, this is a rejection! (Listens) No! No! No, stop saying numbers! I'm telling you, you've got the wrong guy! You've got the wrong guy! (Listens) I'll see you on Monday! (slams the phone down)
Ross: Oh no, no, no, wait, wait, Isabella. Dont, dont just dismiss this so fast. I mean this is a once in a lifetime opportunity...
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross has just broken up with Julie and is about to get with Rachel.]
[Cut to the bathroom, Chandler is entering.]
Rachel: Joey, is what she just said ummOh my God. (Looks around the room.) You were actually gonna (Chandler picks this moment to return to the living room.) (Rachel stares in shock.)
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel is getting a cup of coffee as Joey and Phoebe enter and sit down.]
Chandler: So, I guess this is over.
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe is singing. Monica, Richard, Ross, and Rachel are listening.]
Chandler: I asked myself that very question, sir. Uh, (Points to Monica) this is Monica. (Points to his boss.) This is my boss, Doug. Doug this is Monica.
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there.]
Chandler: Arghhhhhh!! (Joey turns around to taunt him, but Chandler is in the doorway and Joey is facing the kitchen.)
Joey: (to her) Oh, hey Katie! Everyone, this is Katie.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is looking at Ugly Naked Guy's apartment through binoculars.]
Ross: Oh hi! Ross Geller. And this is my friend Phoebe.
Past Life Phoebe: More bandages! More bandages! Please, can I get some more bandages in here! This man is dying(She is cut off by an exploding shell just outside the tent. When the smoke clears, she's missing an arm and the blood is pumping out like you'd see in a horror movie. And upon seeing her condition, she says ) Oh no.
Rachel: Well that is because your eye immediately goes to the big naked man.
Mrs. Geller: Yes, yes Monica is thin. It's wonderful. But what we really want to hear about is Ross's new girlfriend.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is sitting on the couch with Katie.]
Chandler: Okay. It's not different at all, is it?
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Joey is trying to write his movie, Chandler is playing a game on the counter by trying to flip a ping pong ball with a spoon into a nearby bowl.]