words in movies
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is knocking on Rachels door, whose door frame is decorated with balloons. The rest of the gang is there as well. Rachel opens the door and the gang blow on noisemakers.]
(There is no response from Rachel.)
Joey: Come on Rach! Look, turning thirty is not that big a deal.
Ross: Oh really. Is that how you felt when you turned thirty?
[Flashback to Joeys thirtieth birthday party. It is being held in Monica and Chandlers apartment.]
[Cut back to Rachels party, everyone is now eating breakfast, except Rachel.]
Ross: Hey, 30 is not that old! Do you know how old the Earth is?
Rachel: Late thirties? Oh come on you guys! Is it just me? Am I overreacting to this?
[Flashback to Chandlers thirtieth birthday party. It is also being held in Monica and his apartment. He is about to blow out the candles on his birthday cake.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, breakfast is finished but Rachels still down.]
Joey: Yeah, youre roommate is a soap opera star.
[Flashback to: The Street in front of Central Perk, Ross and Joey are holding a yellow tape across the road and everyone is cheering Phoebe as she bounces around the corner on a hippity-hop.]
Phoebe: I did it! One mile on a hippity-hop! Thats it!! Thats everything I wanted to do before I was thirty. Oh, except I wanted to patch things up with my sister. But oh well. Yay!! (They all cheer again.) And-and girls this thing is a Godsend if you know what I mean. (Rachel and Monica look intrigued and as they all head into Central Perk, Rachel picks up the hippity-hop that Phoebe left behind.)
Monica: Well, doing nothing on your thirtieth is better than doing something stupid, like Ross.
[Flashback to: A street, Ross is sitting in his newly purchased MGB. Which is one of the better British sports cars ever made. Of course, better is a relative term. Which reminds me of a joke. Why dont the British make computers? Because they couldnt figure out how to make them leak oil. Anyway, the gang is all staring at his new purchase.]
Ross: Thats not what this is about okay? I-I am a sports car enthusiast. I have always been into cars.
(He starts the car and surprisingly in fires right up and comes to a nice idle. (Both can be rarities with British sports cars with their lovely Lucas ignition systems, which tend not to work especially in the rain.) Anyway, this being New York he is parallel parked on a street with the car in front of him only inches ahead of his bumper, likewise with the car behind him. Hes completely boxed in and cant move more than two inches. He tries to get out several times by bumping the bumpers of both cars to no avail.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Phoebe is pouring Rachel some coffee.]
[Flashback to Monica and Chandlers apartment. Chandler has a bunch of people over in formal wear to give Monica a surprise birthday party. Joey is coming out of the bathroom and removing his tie.]
(Joey walks away and Mr. and Mrs. Geller walk up. Mr. Geller is wearing this ancient velvet tuxedo.)
Chandler: Okay, here is the thing. We have thrown a very formal surprise party for you in there! All of your friends are in there and your parents!
[Scene: Rosss birthday, Joey is now trying to get his car out while Ross is directing him.]
Woman: (To Joey) Is this yours?
Ursula: Yea-huh! Thats what is says on my birth certificate.
Phoebe: Your middle name is Pamela?
Phoebe: Well, I never knew mine. Do you remember what it is?
Chandler: Now, there is a dress laid out on your bed. (Monica stumbles on the steps.) Okay, (catches her) youre doing great. Youre doing great. Youre doing fine.
(Chandler walks over to where the rest of the gang is.)
[Scene: Rachels birthday, everyone is presenting their presents to Rachel.]
[Scene: Rachels birthday, a time lapse has occurred. Rachel is coming back into the living room carrying a notepad.]
Ross: Which is fine! Because you just turned(Removes two candles from the cake)twenty-eight!
Rachel: No! Ross, no! It is not fine! Eh-eh-according to my plan I should already be with the guy I wanna marry!
[Scene: Monicas birthday, Monica is now dressed and is being helped out by Chandler and Rachel.]
Chandler: (To Monica) Now all you have to do is just get through a little bit more, okay? Then we can put you in bed, okay? Just smile and dont talk to anyone.
Monica: I really like to say that Im-um (Pause) Yknow what Id really like to say? Im drunk!! (Mrs. Geller pulls the camera down.) Thats right mom and dad your little Harmonica is hammered!! (Ross grabs the camera out of his dads hands.) And guess what! Ive been drunk before! And Ive smoked a cigarette! And I got a box of Ding-Dongs hidden in my underwear drawer! Its all okay. Its okay because I turned thirty today. And, and I can do anything I want! Because I am a grown up. (Falls over sideways with Ross filming the fall.)
Phoebe: I lost a whole year! I cant believe it! This is so unfair!
[Cut outside, Joey is catching up with Phoebe.]
[Scene: Rosss birthday, his car is still trapped in its spot. Now Joey, Phoebe, and Ross are at the front of the car with Monica, Rachel, and Chandler at the rear of the car.]
Ross: Okay, is everybody clear? Were gonna pick it up and move it. Now all we need is teamwork, okay? Were gonna lift the car and slide it out. Lift and slide!
[Scene: Rachels birthday, she is coming into the hallway where Joey and Tag are playing with the scooter.]
Tag: Rachel, dont do this. This is just because youre turning thirty.
Rachel: Yeah, it is! But youre just a kid! I mean youre 25!
[Time lapse, Rachel is entering her apartment after breaking up with Tag.]
[Scene: Rosss birthday, night has fallen and Joey and Ross are walking by where his car is parked to find that both cars blocking him in have left.]
Gunther: Rachel is my girlfriend.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler is at the bar and Joey enters.]
Monica: No, no its going to be great. Really! Mom, Dad, when I got married, one of the things that made me sure I could do it was the amazing example the two of you set for me. For that and so many other things I want to say thank you. I know I probably dont say it enough, but I love you. (Pretends to cry hoping her parents will join her.) When I look around this room, Im-Im saddened by the thought of those who could not be here with us. Nana, my beloved grandmother who would so want to be here, but she cant because shes dead. As is our dog Chi-Chi. I mean look how cute she is. (Holds up the picture and pretends to cry again). Was. (To an old man by the stage.) Do me a favor and pass this to my parents. Remember shes dead. Okay, her and Nana, gone. Wow! Hey does anybody remember when Debra Winger had to say goodbye to her children in Terms of Endearment? (Chandler covers his ears) Didnt see that? No movie fans?! You want to hear something sad? The other day I was watching 60 Minutes these orphans in Romania, who have been so neglected, they were incapable of love. (Waits for people to cry, but doesnt get any tears.) You people are made of stone! Heres to mom and dad! Whatever!
Joey: Ah, can I just say I know we're doing this for Ross, and that's cool, but if it was up to me, this is not what we'd be doing on our first date.
Chandler: Good morning everyone, it�s nice to see our team together for the first time. Now, before we get started, are there any questions? (colleague raises hand) Yes, Ken is it?
Rachel: This is such a great party! 35 years. Very impressive, do you guys have any pearls of wisdom?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is tying a ribbon to a vase.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is now reading the V book, with the salesman watching.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Ross is entering.]
Frank: See the thing is umm, were not able to yknow, uh, conceive.
Ross: What-what is love really?
[Scene: Monica's apartment continued... Phoebe, Chandler, Monica and Joey are sitting down and Ross is pacing up and down.]
Rachel: Oh wow! This is so cool.
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Phoebe are there reading. Rachel is sitting on the couch flanked by Ross and Monica. She suddenly stops reading and starts blinking her left eye as if it's bothering her. The problem is that Joey is on her left and thinks she's winking at him and winks back. Ross is watching this and isn't quite sure of what to make of it.]
Ross: Look, our table is down in front, okay, my boss is gonna be there, everyone will see if we arrive after it starts.
Joey: (trying to act like hes not the one that stinks.) Whoa! Yeah, what the hell is that? What smells so bad?
ROSS: [looking at a glass table with a panther shaped base] Look, check this out. Is it a coffee table, is it a panther? There's no need to decide.
Monica: It is not over! Youre over!
Gunther: I thought you were Chandler. But umm, one of who is over there.
Kathy: I'm sorry, you're right, I apologize, but I should tell you that I'm waiting for a date. (Joey enters) Oh, and there he is now.
Joanna: You know, Junior Miss is where I started. Oh, I had to sleep with the ugliest guy to get that job.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is sitting in the living room as Monica enters.]
Phoebe: Yeah and I-I found you one too who is not a weirdo.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Monica are there and Rachel is arranging a bouquet of flowers, pricks her finger on a thorn, throws the bouquet over her head, and those you who are quicker than some already know that Monica is the one who catches it.]
[Later, Phoebe is on the phone, theyre all still trapped in Monicas bedroom.]
Monica: All right. When is, when is the next flight out?
Rachel: Oh, I dont know. Well maybe its just the idea of Barry for the rest of my life. I dont know I think I feel like I need to have one last fling, y'know, just to sorta get it out of my system. (Chandler is listening in very intensely)
[Scene: The airport, Emily is getting ready to board her flight to London.]
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Phoebe is settling a dispute between the chick and the duck.]
Phoebe: Oh, that is better.
Monica: That thing is not coming in here.
Ross: You're right. Yours is worse. You are the king of bad Thanksgivings.
Rachel: (stopping a nurse who's coming out of a room) Oh, uhm, excuse me, I'm here to see my father. My name is Rachel Green.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, (now) Joey is watching Baywatch, as Chandler enters from his bedroom.]
[Scene: Dr. Burkes office, Tim is examining Monica.]
Chandler: Well, Chandler will be there for you too. I mean, well, he might be a little late, but-but, hell be there. And hell bring you some cold soda, if want you need him for is that youre really hot.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there, waiting to tell Frank and Alice the news.]
[Scene: Monica and Phoebes, Ross is on the phone, as Phoebe is walking by carrying a lamp.]
Joey: All right. Okay. Well this is the same kind of deal. If youre going to do something wrong, (He grabs two steaks from the freezer) do it right!
Phoebe: God, Susan is so fun!
Chandler: (picking up a plastic cup similar to the one he deposited his specimen in) It is not okay that I'm aroused by this now.
Ross: O is for "oh, wow!" The V is for this very surprising turn of events, which I'm still fine with by the way. E is for how extremely normal I find it. That you two are together. And now one day you might get married and have children of your own.
[Cut to later that same day, Ross has retrieved his keyboard and is about to debut, "The Sound."]
Joshua: This is so nice. Thank you for doing this.
Phoebe: (on phone) 'Right, well look, um, if Joey loses this audition, that is it for Estelle. I don't care! Annie you are a doll, what time can you see him?' (to Monica) I need a pen. (Chandler hands her one, but she needs something to right on, so she tilts Chandler's head over and writes on the back of his neck)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is watching Wheel of Fortune, the puzzle is showing _oun_ Rush_ore.]
Phoebe: (to her date) Okay, and then this is the coffee house. This is where I play my music. (points to the stage)
Ross: Well, I was with Carol for like eight years and I lost her. And now if it's possible I think I love you even more. So, it's hard for me to believe that I'm not gonna, well that someone else is not going to take you away.
Rachel: Wow! This place is fabulous!
Joshua: Yeah, yeah, let me show you around. This is the uh, downstairs living room.
Kate: He happens to be brilliant. Which is more than I can say for that sweater youre dating.
Chandler: Hey, what time is it? The big game is about to start!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is attempting his pre-emptive strike.]
Chandler: Yes it is! From now on, I have no first name.
Chandler: No, no, youre right, it is a ridiculous name!
Dina: Were gonna be all right. I mean, even if were not married this baby is gonna be so loved. Not just by us.
Ross: Yeah. But, the good news is that Phoebe said that I could stay at her place for a while. So
Chandler: I hear ya. (Pause) But! Unfortunately, my company is transferring me overseas!
[Scene: Monicas childhood bedroom (which has been turned into a gym), Monica is lying on the treadmill as Phoebe enters.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is telling Phoebe and Monica of her date.]
Monica: This is so much fun!
Ross: This is not fun!
Monica: Look, all were trying to say is, dont let what happened with Carol ruin what you got with Emily.
Chandler: Hi! Hi! Youre crazy! Okay? This is Emily. Emily is straight.
Phoebe: Oh, this life! Oh okay no, Chandler's is worse.
[Scene: The Medical Research office, Joey is there with Carl in the waiting room. Two identical twins come out and both wave by at the same time.]
Rachel: Stop it! I will kill you. I hate the fact that my room is so small.
Joey: See, this is a great apartment.
Liam: You dont say! (We see Ross who is hopping about with the ball and spikes it in his face.)
Phoebe: All right, I already didn't give them back to you, that's what I said. (Walks away over to Rachel.) Where is that other earring?
Ross: Wow! It actually is in the handbook. I cant date you or have a hot plate in my office. I cant believe we have to stop seeing each other.
Chandler: Where is Emily?
[Scene: Kathys apartment, Chandler is knocking on the door.]
[Scene: Garbage room: Mr. Treeger is unclogging the trash chute as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: Ohhh! That is soo sweet! (gets up to get herself a cup of coffee)
Phoebe: (singing) New York City has no power, and the milk is getting sour. But to me it is not scary, 'cause I stay away from dairy.... la la la, la la, la la... (she writes the lyrics down)
Phoebe: Oh, this is terrible. Oh, theyve made so many changes I cant even feel my grandmothers presence anymoreOoh! New sconces!
Ms. Geller: I understand, separation is hard. One time I was about to leave Ross to go to the beauty parlor and he got so upset, he took off all his clothes, tucked his ??? between his legs and cried out: �Mommy, I�m a girl, take me with you.�
Phoebe: This is great!
Chandler: This is gonna be soo cool, dude, we never party anymore!
Ross: The guy who took Rachel to the prom? Why is he calling you?
(Chandler has a basketball which he is moving closer to, then away from, Monica)
Chandler: It's just you and Rachel, just the two of you? This is a date. You're going on a date.
Ross: Is thatare you saying yes? Is that yes?
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's, Phoebe is entering.]
Chandler: Why is Phoebe singing to Carl Mulden?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is entering, excited.]
Ross: Oh, oh, we did say wed stop by this little thing Joeys roommate is having.
(The gang is stunned.)
Chandler: (to Drew) Oh, by the way, that is her full name.
Monica: Of course theres another guy!! This is even more perfect! Now you have to prove your love!
Phoebe: Well, shes out of town so, theres gotta be something in her house that tells me where my Father is.
The Singing Man: (singing) Breakfast is near!
[Scene: Joey's Apartment, Joey is reading a script as Ross and Chandler enter carrying a basketball.]
[Chandler tries to warn Phoebe that the woman is coming on to her, but Phoebe doesn't see him.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Phoebe is there with her puppy and is trying to sing it to sleep as Chandler enters.]
Monica: Oh no-no-no, not Dr. Burke. Dr. Burke is out of town. The-the on-call doctor will see me now.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is doing the dishes.]
PHOEBE: Ok, this is the most romantic disease I've ever had.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Rachel is singing some kind of song.]