words in movies
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is knocking on Rachels door, whose door frame is decorated with balloons. The rest of the gang is there as well. Rachel opens the door and the gang blow on noisemakers.]
(There is no response from Rachel.)
Joey: Come on Rach! Look, turning thirty is not that big a deal.
Ross: Oh really. Is that how you felt when you turned thirty?
[Flashback to Joeys thirtieth birthday party. It is being held in Monica and Chandlers apartment.]
[Cut back to Rachels party, everyone is now eating breakfast, except Rachel.]
Ross: Hey, 30 is not that old! Do you know how old the Earth is?
Rachel: Late thirties? Oh come on you guys! Is it just me? Am I overreacting to this?
[Flashback to Chandlers thirtieth birthday party. It is also being held in Monica and his apartment. He is about to blow out the candles on his birthday cake.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, breakfast is finished but Rachels still down.]
Joey: Yeah, youre roommate is a soap opera star.
[Flashback to: The Street in front of Central Perk, Ross and Joey are holding a yellow tape across the road and everyone is cheering Phoebe as she bounces around the corner on a hippity-hop.]
Phoebe: I did it! One mile on a hippity-hop! Thats it!! Thats everything I wanted to do before I was thirty. Oh, except I wanted to patch things up with my sister. But oh well. Yay!! (They all cheer again.) And-and girls this thing is a Godsend if you know what I mean. (Rachel and Monica look intrigued and as they all head into Central Perk, Rachel picks up the hippity-hop that Phoebe left behind.)
Monica: Well, doing nothing on your thirtieth is better than doing something stupid, like Ross.
[Flashback to: A street, Ross is sitting in his newly purchased MGB. Which is one of the better British sports cars ever made. Of course, better is a relative term. Which reminds me of a joke. Why dont the British make computers? Because they couldnt figure out how to make them leak oil. Anyway, the gang is all staring at his new purchase.]
Ross: Thats not what this is about okay? I-I am a sports car enthusiast. I have always been into cars.
(He starts the car and surprisingly in fires right up and comes to a nice idle. (Both can be rarities with British sports cars with their lovely Lucas ignition systems, which tend not to work especially in the rain.) Anyway, this being New York he is parallel parked on a street with the car in front of him only inches ahead of his bumper, likewise with the car behind him. Hes completely boxed in and cant move more than two inches. He tries to get out several times by bumping the bumpers of both cars to no avail.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Phoebe is pouring Rachel some coffee.]
[Flashback to Monica and Chandlers apartment. Chandler has a bunch of people over in formal wear to give Monica a surprise birthday party. Joey is coming out of the bathroom and removing his tie.]
(Joey walks away and Mr. and Mrs. Geller walk up. Mr. Geller is wearing this ancient velvet tuxedo.)
Chandler: Okay, here is the thing. We have thrown a very formal surprise party for you in there! All of your friends are in there and your parents!
[Scene: Rosss birthday, Joey is now trying to get his car out while Ross is directing him.]
Woman: (To Joey) Is this yours?
Ursula: Yea-huh! Thats what is says on my birth certificate.
Phoebe: Your middle name is Pamela?
Phoebe: Well, I never knew mine. Do you remember what it is?
Chandler: Now, there is a dress laid out on your bed. (Monica stumbles on the steps.) Okay, (catches her) youre doing great. Youre doing great. Youre doing fine.
(Chandler walks over to where the rest of the gang is.)
[Scene: Rachels birthday, everyone is presenting their presents to Rachel.]
[Scene: Rachels birthday, a time lapse has occurred. Rachel is coming back into the living room carrying a notepad.]
Ross: Which is fine! Because you just turned(Removes two candles from the cake)twenty-eight!
Rachel: No! Ross, no! It is not fine! Eh-eh-according to my plan I should already be with the guy I wanna marry!
[Scene: Monicas birthday, Monica is now dressed and is being helped out by Chandler and Rachel.]
Chandler: (To Monica) Now all you have to do is just get through a little bit more, okay? Then we can put you in bed, okay? Just smile and dont talk to anyone.
Monica: I really like to say that Im-um (Pause) Yknow what Id really like to say? Im drunk!! (Mrs. Geller pulls the camera down.) Thats right mom and dad your little Harmonica is hammered!! (Ross grabs the camera out of his dads hands.) And guess what! Ive been drunk before! And Ive smoked a cigarette! And I got a box of Ding-Dongs hidden in my underwear drawer! Its all okay. Its okay because I turned thirty today. And, and I can do anything I want! Because I am a grown up. (Falls over sideways with Ross filming the fall.)
Phoebe: I lost a whole year! I cant believe it! This is so unfair!
[Cut outside, Joey is catching up with Phoebe.]
[Scene: Rosss birthday, his car is still trapped in its spot. Now Joey, Phoebe, and Ross are at the front of the car with Monica, Rachel, and Chandler at the rear of the car.]
Ross: Okay, is everybody clear? Were gonna pick it up and move it. Now all we need is teamwork, okay? Were gonna lift the car and slide it out. Lift and slide!
[Scene: Rachels birthday, she is coming into the hallway where Joey and Tag are playing with the scooter.]
Tag: Rachel, dont do this. This is just because youre turning thirty.
Rachel: Yeah, it is! But youre just a kid! I mean youre 25!
[Time lapse, Rachel is entering her apartment after breaking up with Tag.]
[Scene: Rosss birthday, night has fallen and Joey and Ross are walking by where his car is parked to find that both cars blocking him in have left.]
Chandler: And here is the bottle of wine for you to bring over tonight. (Hands it to him.) You were also going to buy Monica flowers but you couldnt afford it, because you paid dinner last night.
Chandler: Oh what is it honey, you need some tea? Some soup? (He gets up from the couch and goes into the bedroom to find Monica, still in the robe, lying seductively on the bed. Or at least shes trying too and as he enters the room, she takes the robe off on of her legs.) Oh-ohhhh!
Joey and Chandler: What is it?
Joey: I wish. See, I guess another thing I probably shouldve told you about Ginger is that she kinda has a ah, artificial leg.
Rachel: No, you wait! This is ridiculous!
[Scene: A Restaurant, Rachel and Phoebe are having dinner with Dr. Green, and everyone is looking at the menu.]
Phoebe: Ok. Hello everyone and thank you all for being here tonight. So tomorrow's the big event and some of you might not know, but Mike and I didn't get off to the best start. (she reads a note). My friend Joey and I decided to fix each other up with friends so I, I... (Monica is twirling her hands in order to make Phoebe speed up her speech) oh I... hum... I gave it a lot of thought and I fixed him up with my friend Mary Ellen who couldn't be here tonight because... (Monica is tapping her watch with her finger) it's not important... she is in rehab. Anyway, so, ok, Joey said that he was fixing me up with his friend Mike, only he didn't have a friend Mike so he just brought, uhm, my Mike and, and (Monica clears her throat) but despite, you know... it got... it got good. Ok, I wanna take a moment to mention my mother, who couldn't be here...
Rachel: Okay. 'Cause this is where I wanna be, okay? No more messing around. I don't wanna mess this up again.
(Scene: Central Perk. Everyone is there.)
Phoebe: Oh, this is my friend Roger.
Chandler: Yeah, we played, we watched TV.. that juggling thing is amazing.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Mr. Tribbiani is on the phone.]
Joey: Oh man. Please tell me one of 'em is Ma.
[Scene: Chandler's Office, Chandler is on a coffee break. Shelley enters.) Shelley: Hey gorgeous, how's it going?
Ross: (Entering) What is this dive? Only you could've picked this place.
(Cut to Chandler, Ross and Roger sitting at the table. Ross is upset)
(Cut to later. Rachel is in tears)
Rachel: (exasperated) Yes, Chandler, that's exactly what it is. It's your hair.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ronni is talking to Chandler. Joey's dad is not around.]
Mr. Tribbiani: Yeah, but this is
Ross: You dont understand! Elizabeth was about to ask me to go on a trip with her! Is that taking it slow?! No, Im not ready for this! Okay? What-what do I tell her?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is cooking Thanksgiving dinner. Chandler is standing in the doorway, not wanting to participate in the festivities.]
Monica: Is he really coming? Because I can see right into your apartment!
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe is there with Roger.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross is lamenting to Chandler and Rachel about his troubles in his new building.]
Phoebe: And then... your face is bloated?
RACH: Closure, that's what it is. Closure. [she looks around the restaurant, spotting a guy with a cellular phone] Hello, excuse me. Excuse me, hel. . . woo [she almost falls out of her chair]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's. Phoebe is reading the paper and Joey enters.]
Phoebe: well there is no Vicrum, Ross made him up because I never really have been in a long-term relationship, I've never lived with a guy, and I've never even celebrated an anniversary so. (Pause) if that's too weird for you and you wanna leave I totally understand. In fact I'll close my eye's make it less awkward (She sits with her eyes closed and Mike kisses her, Phoebe opens her eyes and like a little child says.) You kissed me.
RACHEL: I can't believe this is happening.
Joey: I mean seriously, shes like the perfect woman. I mean I know she turned me down, but if she hadnt and wanted to be with me, I would take her in my arms and (Realizes everyone is staring.) I havent bummed you guys out like this in a while have I?
[Scene: The Hospital. Erica is moaning and about to give birth. Monica, Chandler, a nurse and a doctor are there with her.]
Chandler: Hey. (He sees that Ross is packing all of the hotel toiletries) Soaps? Shampoos? Are you really taking all this stuff?
Joey: Right. Okay. Losing the robe. (He takes off the robe.) And the robe is lost.
Monica: Cause I ran into him at the bank, he is still soo cute.
Ross: (To Rachel) Yeah, I still don't know. (To the salesman who is hovering nearby) I'm sorry I just wanna make sure that I bought the right couch. I need a couch that says, "Kids welcome here." But that also says, (In a sexy voice) "Come here to me!"
Rachel: Oh, Joey, look who it is.
(Janice turns around, Monica sees who it is.)
[Scene: A Chinese Restaurant, Ross is there with his date.]
(They notice that a woman is sitting by their door)
Ross: Ok, well, uh, I can maybe grab a sleeping bag, or...(There's one of those moments. They're staring at each other, no word uttered, and then she leans toward him in order to kiss him, but he ducks and avoids her more than once.) Oh, oh. (he then hugs her and when she tries to kiss him again, he stands up and she falls down on the bed). No, Rach! I'm sorry, I just don't think this, this, this is a good idea.
Ross: Okay, okay, yes, it is. (waves) How about I'll, uh, catch up with you in the Ice Age.
(Mike opens the door and there is a gigantic ice sculpture standing in the doorway)
Chandler: (surprised) It is?
Phoebe: Well, Vince is great, y'know `cause, he's like a guy, guy. Y'know? He's so burly, he's sooo very burly. (giggles)
Chandler: Oh no, you see, actually it is.
Chandler: This is ridiculous. (He heads for Phoebe's bedroom)
Chandler: Yeah, I'm fine. (trying to cover up what he is saying) I'm trppd in an ATM vstbl wth Jll Gdcr.
[Scene: Central Perk, continued from earlier, Chandler is sitting on the table.]
Joey: Fungus! Yeah. Place is full of it.
(Carol takes off her jacket, her pregnant belly is exposed.)
All: What is it?
Dr. Drake Remoray: Thats right Wesley! I just stopped by to say that, youre not a real doctor! And that womans brain, is fine!
Chandler: Oh yes! Bye Bye Birdie, starring Joseph Stalin. Joseph Stalin is the Fiddler on the Roof.
Monica: Well, what kind of food is he looking for?
(The scene on TV has changed to show two women, one is holding her hair.)
Chandler: It is a crime that you and I don't spend more time together.
Phoebe: Oh, is this the bug lady?
Monica: Is it better than the other salmon mousse?
Monica: Yeah, well, is that better?
Chandler: Lie!!! How hard is that?! The checks in the mail! Oh your baby is so cute! I cant wait to read your book Ross!!
Ross: So, uh, this guy, she used to go out with, is, uh is he still in love with her?
Phoebe: What... I could, I could do it. What is it?
Mrs. Bing: (on TV) ...This is kind of embarrassing, but occasionally after I've been intimate with a man...
Mr. Geller: (To Chandler) God, your hair sure is different!
Phoebe: (excited) Wow! It's huge! It's so much bigger than the cubicle. Oh, this is a cube.
Monica: Thank you. So what does this Bob guy look like? Is he tall? Short?
[Scene: Chandler's new window office, he is showing Phoebe around.]
Monica: (to Steve) This is Rachel.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is recovering from the shock.]
Rachel: Yes, I know that. I know that. And I know that hiring him was probably not the smartest thing that Ive ever done. But Im telling you, from this moment on I swear this is strictly professional. (Theres a knock on the door.) Yes?
Phoebe: Well, his name is Parker and I met him at the drycleaners.
Rachel: Well yeah, I do, but I decided to take a long lunch and spend some time with my friend Monica. Y'know I-I feel that we don't talk anymore. How are you? What is new with you?
Joey: Yeah, where the hell is he?
DR. BURKE: Ah, that's OK, come on in. Um, I'm sorry, is Monica Geller coming? I was told she was.
Chandler: See uh, thats-thats actually what I wanted to talk to you about. I-I think I know who the other guy is.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is cooking as Chandler looks on.
Phoebe: Hmmm? Yeah. So, um, is she fat?
Rachel: So, is this just gonna be you and Carol?
Teacher: Im sorry, I didnt get... Susan is?
[Scene : Chandler's Office, Chandler is working.]
Ross: Susan is Carols, Carols, Carols, friend...
Nina: Which is bad, because?
[The next one is from Episode 613: The One With Rachels Sister, Chandler has just opened the door to reveal a woman standing there.]
Rachel: Joey? Could you get that? (There is no answer and she goes and opens the door to Joey.) What are you doing here? I thought you were in your room?
Joey: That's what this is about! Oh my God, you hate Ross!
Joey: She is so hot!
Angela: Bob is great. He's smart, he's sophisticated, and he has a real job. You, you go on three auditions a month and you call yourself an actor, but Bob...
Joey: Great! Hey! All right! Well-well what is it?!
Rachel: (Looking at the television) Cool... "Urkel" in Spanish is "Urkel."
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is sitting at the kitchen table staring at the phone as Monica enters.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is lamenting to everyone about hid dad's affair.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is on the couch as Monica enters.]
PHOEBE: Is anyone else starting to really like him?
Jamie: What is this place?
CHAN: You know, this is actually good, because if we ever lose Ross, we have a spare.
[Scene: The Hallway, Joey has a tray full of keys, and is trying each one in the lock.]
Joey: Yeah. You're ten times prettier than she is.
Joey: How young is young Ethan? Young?
Marsha: Yes, it is. Carol! Hi!