words in movies
[Scene: Ross's bedroom. Rachel is putting on her shoes as Ross shows up from underneath the covers.]
[Scene: The delivery room at the hospital. Monica, Chandler and Erica are there. Erica is in labor, and she is breathing heavily.]
Chandler: This is exactly the kind of social situation that I am not comfortable with!
Chandler: Hah. May not wanna mention this. So, you ever wonder which is worse, you know; going through labor or getting kicked in the nuts?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Joey is there as Phoebe enters. Joey is holding a baby duck.]
Phoebe: That is the rule, though.
Ross: Is Rachel here?
Joey: So, so is she still going to Paris?
Phoebe: Oh, this is like the best day ever. Ever! You guys might get back together, Monica and Chandler are getting their baby, there are chicks and ducks in the world again! Oh, I feel like I'm in a musical! (Singing) "Daa - raa... When the sun comes up, bright and beaming! And the moon comes..."
Ross: I know, me too. It was... You know, it was like one of those things you think is never gonna happen, and then it does, and it's everything you want it to be.
[Scene: The Hospital. Erica is moaning and about to give birth. Monica, Chandler, a nurse and a doctor are there with her.]
Chandler: Is it really that bad?
Erica: Uh-huh! I think it's time to kick you in the nuts and see which is worse!
Doctor: The baby's head is crowning.
Monica: Oh! Oh my God! That is the most beautiful top of a head I have ever seen! Chandler, you have to see this!
(Chandler is standing by Erica's head.)
Monica: Chandler, you don't wanna miss this. This is the birth of your child! It's the miracle of life!
Chandler: Alright. Wow, that is one disgusting miracle.
Erica: Is he okay?
Monica: (to her son) Oh, hey handsome! Oh, I'm gonna love you so much that no woman is ever gonna be good enough for you! (To Chandler, on the verge of tears) Oh, we are so lucky!
Monica: This is unbelievable.
Monica: Okay, what if the person who adopts the other one is horrible?
Monica: Yeah, because I hear the king is looking to adopt.
Monica: That doesn't matter! We have waited so long for this. I don't care if it's two babies. I don't care if it's three babies! I don't care if the entire cast of "Eight is Enough" comes out of there! We are taking them home, because they are our children!
Joey: You can't just give up! Is that what a dinosaur would do?
Phoebe: I'm telling you! Oh, okay! This is the part of the musical where there'd be a really good convincing song. (Singing) "Bam-bam, don't take no for an answer. Bam-bam, don't let love fly away. Bam-bam-bam-bam..."
(Ross is shocked.)
Monica: Son of a gun, it is!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Joey and Phoebe are there. There is a white crib decorated with balloons in the middle of the apartment. Also, there are boxes all over the apartment. Joey is working on something on the coffee table.]
(He holds up a white poster with huge red letters. It reads, "Welcome Home Baby." There is also a huge red stain on the left of the poster.)
Phoebe: How sweet! Oh, is that the baby?
Ross: Yeah, and she still wants to go! It's pretty clear where she is.
Phoebe: No, you don't! She's going to Paris! She is going to meet somebody. Do you know how many hot guys there are in Paris? It's... It's a city of Gunthers!
(They turn back around to see the baby Monica's carrying, but then they realise what the surprise is. Ross, Mike, Phoebe and Rachel gasp and stare at Chandler and his baby. Joey hasn't figured it out yet.)
Joey: (To Monica) Hey, so what is the big surprise?
Monica: (points at the baby she's holding) This is a boy, (points at the baby Chandler is holding) and that's a girl.
Chandler: Her name is Erica.
Joey: Maybe that's okay. You know? Maybe, maybe it is better this way? I mean, now, now you can move on. I mean, you've been trying to for so long, maybe now that you're on different continents.. (Looks at Phoebe) Right?
Joey: This is so cool!
Ross: I don't know, but I.. Look, even if she shoots me down, at least I won't spend the rest of my life wondering what would have happened. Where - where is my coat?!
[Scene: The street right in front of Central Perk. Phoebe's cab is there. Ross and Phoebe run over and jump in.]
Phoebe: My medallion number is, "Get out of the cab!"
[Scene: Phoebe's cab. Phoebe is driving very fast, and a terrified Ross has closed his eyes.]
Ross: Is the old woman on the bicycle still alive?
Phoebe: Damn, that window is clean.
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Joey is still looking for the birds.]
(Chandler grins, while Monica is less enthusiastic.)
(Monica turns around and is about to leave when she steps on something.)
Ross: I don't care. Whatever is the cheapest.
[Scene: The gate. Rachel is still searching for her boarding pass.]
Rachel: Oh! Shoot! Damn it! Where is it? Oh! Oh! I found it! I found it!
(Phoebe picks up her cell-phone and calls Monica. Monica is still packing in her apartment.)
(Monica is standing by the crib, and she's looking at her babies.)
Ross: That is precious! Listen! I need Rachel's flight information.
Ross: Phoebe, forget it, okay? Newark is - is like an hour away. There's no way we're gonna make it in time.
(She lets go of the steering wheel to get her cell-phone from her purse. Ross screams and reaches over in order to hold onto the wheel. Cut to the plane. Rachel is sitting in her seat when her cell-phone rings.)
Rachel: Phoebe? Is everything okay?
Phoebe: I have this feeling that something's wrong with it. Something is wrong with the left Philange.
Passenger #1: But she is sometimes.
Air stewardess: There is no Philange!
Passenger #1: We're all getting off. There is no Philange!
Rachel: This is ridiculous! I...
(She notices that everybody is leaving.)
Monica: Alright. My job here is done.
Gate attendant #2: Ma'am, I assure you, the plane is fine.
Gate attendant #2: Yes, the Philange is fixed. As a matter of fact, we put a whole lot of extra Philanges onboard, just in case.
Ross: Where is she?
Phoebe: There she is!
Ross: Okay, the thing is..
Chandler: Wow, this is weird.
Rachel: (on the answering machine) Ross, hi. It's me. I just got back on the plane. And I just feel awful. That is so not how I wanted things to end with us. It's just that I wasn't expecting to see you, and all of a sudden you're there and saying these things... And... And now I'm just sitting here and thinking of all the stuff I should have said, and I didn't. I mean, I didn't even get to tell you that I love you too. Because of course I do. I love you. I love you. I love you. What am I doing? I love you! Oh, I've gotta see you. I've gotta get off this plane.
(The message is finished. Ross jumps over to the answering machine.)
Rachel: Okay. 'Cause this is where I wanna be, okay? No more messing around. I don't wanna mess this up again.
Rachel: Okay. You and me, alright? This is it.
Ross: This is it. Unless we're on a break.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Chandler and Monica are holding the twins. Joey and Phoebe are sitting by the window, while Ross and Rachel are standing together. The apartment is completely empty. Two men are carrying a large dresser.]
Phoebe: So, I guess this is it.
Monica: (crying) This is harder than I thought it would be.
(They all leave the apartment. Joey helps Chandler with the stroller in the hallway, while Monica and Rachel have their arms around each other. Everybody walks downstairs to Central Perk. The camera goes inside the apartment again, and it pans around. We see the keys on the counter, and the final shot is of the frame around the peephole. The screen fades to black.)
[Scene: Outside Monas Apartment, Ross is knocking on the door.]
Monica: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Yeah, hi! Mrs. Tribbiani? (Listens) Hi, this is Monica Geller. (Listens) Yeah Im just calling to say that Chandler and I uh, really hope you can make it to the wedding. Yeah, apparently a bunch of invitations that we sent werent delivered. Umm, I guess there was some screw up at the damn post office! (Joey nods his approval.) (Listens) T-Tell me about it! (Listens) Yeah, yeah, the US Post Office? No, more like US lost office! (Listens) What are they Irish?! (Joey gives her a thumbs up.)
Rachel: Oh thats not important. The point is, I reallyI think everythings gonna be okay.
Chandler: I wish there was an easier way for us to have a child but I don't think there is one.
Rachel: I believe you. So, it was right in the middle of a staff meeting so of course no one else wants to correct her so everyone else is calling me Raquel! By the end of the day, the mailroom guys were calling me Rocky!
Monica: He is the man in the black dress.
[Scene: Mr. Zelners Office, Rachel is knocking on the door.]
Phoebe: Oh there it is.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and the gang is watching Sumo wrestling on TV.]
(For the first time we see that the woman Ross is talking too is in fact the hot girl that Joey is looking for. She just kinda stares at him.)
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, Ross is ordering something over the phone from a catalog.]
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there.]
Phoebe: Oh, Ross, Mon, is it okay if I bring someone to your parents anniversary party?
Ross: You think?! God, I, ah, Im in hell. I mean what, what am I gonna do? Rachels all like, I love you and, and lets work on this. And all I can think about is, What is she gonna do? What is she gonna say? when I tell her what I did.
Chandler: And you wonder why Ross is their favorite?
Ross: Aww that is so cool.
Chandler: But come on, look at how cute and small this is! So I got it to give Monica so shed know I was okay.
Phoebe: Everybody, this is Parker, Parker this is
CHAN: Well it couldn't have been worse. A woman literally passed through me. OK, so what is it, am I hideously unattractive?
(They all cheer and Rachel, Ross and Phoebe join in for a group hug. Joey also joins, but he stands back a bit, because he is all sticky of the food on him)
[Scene: Chandlers bedroom, he is sleeping with Marjorie. All of the sudden, Marjorie starts talking in her sleep, awakening Chandler. After a little bit, she quiets back down, and Chandler tries to get back to sleep. Theres a short pause until she starts screaming, causing Chandler to scream with her. She quickly calms down. This all wakes up Joey, who comes over wearing the mouth guard, opens the top half of Chandlers door, and starts to complain about the noise.]
[Scene: The Hallway between the apartments, Joey, Janine, Chandler, and Monica are returning from a double date. Chandler is telling a joke.]
Monica: Well, spring vacation is doing nice things with your grandparents. Spring break youre doing frat guys.
Monica: I know! I know! I am a terrible person! I mean, Chandler is never going to trust me with anything ever again!
Joey: (Unimpressed) A book? (Suddenly interested) Is it like a book that's also a safe?
Aunt Lisa: Oh that is so sweet!
RACHEL: [holding a pillow made out of 4 inch red fur] Hey, nice pillow. So now tell me, is this genuine Muppet skin?
[Scene: A Street, Ross is walking past a newsstand and sees Rachel.]
Rachel: (taking a bite) Oh my God! That is so good!
Parker: Is something wrong?
Monica: This is so bizarre. I guess it kinda makes sense though, yknow she had such a terrible childhood.
[Scene: Monica's eye doctor's office, Monica and Rachel are waiting in an exam room and looking at this big white thing used to check eyes. I have no idea what it is, and if an ophthalmologist happens to know what that is, let me know.]
Chandler: Yknow what would really help me through this tough time is choking something. Can I choke ya?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment.� Chandler is seated in the chair and Monica stands behind the sofa.]
Monica: How cool is this?! We know three down! Im touching three down! (She has her hand on his shoulder.)
Chandler: Ah, no-no-no just Ross. Ross and Joey is embarrassing enough.
Chandler: Is that why you became a chef? So that people would like you?
Mike: And there is Kevin.
Lauren: So this is it? Victor?
[The next one is from Episode 322: The One With The Screamer, its the end of Joeys play.]
Phoebe: I know! You see it is stuff like this which is why (Looking down) youre burning in hell!!
Rachel: God she is unbelievable.
Phoebe: Hey! Check it out! This is unbelievable! Joey has been holding his breath for almost four minutes!
Rachel: That is the Coast Guard.
[Scene: Monica's apartment. Monica and Erica are talking about the baby, and Monica is rubbing Erica's tummy.]
[The next one is from Episode 507: The One Where Ross Moves In.]
CHANDLER: Yeah.� I feel so bad.� Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?
Chandler: Okay. Now all weve got to do is get rid of this chair.
Chandler: Wish it! (To the woman, Kathy, he likes) Hi. Hi, I-I was just sitting over there, and uhh, Chandler. My name is Chandler. Did I say that?
(There is a monkey-like noise from within and Ross pushes past Mr. Heckles and enters his apartment)
[The next one is from Episode 619: The One With Joeys Fridge.]
Joey: Listen, I know the invitation says 6:00, but does that mean that you want people to get there at six, or the show is gonna start right at six?
Rachel: (interrupting him) Hi! Im gal pal Rachel Green, and if you want the dirt, Im the one you come too. This might be Joeys baby (rubbing her stomach), who knows? Im just kiddingSeriously, (leans into the cassette recorder Shelley is using) gal pal Rachel Green.
Joey: I couldnt help it! When a fist comes at your face, you duck! Look! (He goes to punch Ross, expecting him to duck, but he doesnt and Joey punches Ross. Gunther is amused.)
Aunt Iris: No! That's bluffing. Lesson number one. (walks into kitchen) Let me tell you something... everything you hear at a poker game is pure crap. (to Phoebe): Nice earrings.
Ross: Uh no, no just-just that he is a great guy.
Chandler: Steps! (He opens the door to his apartment to Ross and Joey looking at the new Playboy) Slut! (Ross and Joey quickly hide the Playboy behind their backs. Chandler wonders into the girls apartment.) You will all be very happy to hear that Kathy is sleeping with that guy!
Monica: Okay, I-Im sorry. You and Joey, your both focusing on this uncomfortable thing, what you need to do is to change the subject. Next time you see him try to get him talking about something else.
[The next one is from Episode 722: The One With Chandlers Dad.]
Monica: Oh come on, its only fair, you paid for the flight. Now is, is that enough lire?
(Ross is having a fit, about how calm Tommy is now)
[The next one is from Episode 605: The One With Joey's Porsche.]
Woman: Hi, is Rachel here? Im her sister.
Monica: Uh Tim? This is Phoebe. Phoebe this is Tim, my new sous chef.
(Rachel joins Monica who is in the kitchen area, opening the wine bottle. Rachel checks that the doctors aren't listening, then lowers her voice anyway.)
Rachel: This is Chandler. (Points at him.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is on the couch as Ross enters.]
Joey: (glaring at her) Is there a problem?
(The gang is confused.)
(The gang is disappointed.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is trying to erase Chandlers dirty words while he looks on.]
[Scene: The Restaurant, dinner has ended and Phoebe and Rachel are talking. Dr. Green is not at the table.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Rachel, Chandler, and Monica are there. Rachel is reading everyones horoscope.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is watching Cujo while Joey returns from his date scaring Rachel.]
Phoebe: No. (Pause) Neither is mine.
Rachel: So my mother is not coming to my baby shower?!
Monica: (To Phoebe) Oh my God, my ass is sweating! (on phone) Please! Please! Can you come? Its today at four.
Joey: This is embarrassing. (Looks it up.)
[Scene: Silvercup Studios, Dina is at the craft services table getting some food as Joey walks up.]
Joey: No! Hey no! This is wrong you guys! Phoebes our friend! Well, Im not gonna watch it!
Monica: You ordered a stripper for the shower?! That is totally inappropriate!
ROB: The thing is, I think some of the parents, they were kinda hopin' that you'd play more songs about like, barnyard animals.
Monica: (Robin is speaking loudly again) I...
Joey: Okay, this is gonna be tough. Hold your breath.
Monica: We are the hottest! Huh? No one is hotter than we are! You're the best.
Chandler: This game is kinda fun.
[The next one is from Episode 417: The One With The Free Porn, Chandler and Joey are lamenting the fact that every beautiful woman they see doesnt want to have sex right then and there like in porn.]
Phoebe: Really? Lee Majors is hot!
Monica: Okay, where is the Kat Stevens CD?
Rachel: Oh yeah. Okay, see mom, the truth is I can do this on my own.
Monica: Rachel, listen to your mother. She is very smart.
Phoebe: Okay, this is from your friend at work.
Joey: Yeah! Yeah yknow, like warm up the crowd. Ask em where theyre from. Cause in Joey Tribbiani you get a minister and you get an entertainer. Im a minis-tainer! (Rapping) There is no one better! There is no one greater!
Ben: Sharing is good.
Ross: Is there a hopping bonus?
Chandler: This is the best game ever!!!
[Scene: Joeys Audition, Joey is being shown in.]
Rachel: Hey you guys, this is my sister Amy. This is Chandler, Joey, Phoebe and you know Mon.
Monica: Oh! Did anybody see that-that documentary on the Korean War? (Joey is pissed)
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, Ross is helping Rachel study for when the baby comes.]