words in movies
Susan: Oh, is he hungry already?
Ross: Look, would you guys grow up? That is the most natural beautiful thing in the world.
Ross: This is my son having lunch, ok? It's gonna happen a lot, so you'd better get used to it. Now if you have any problem with it, if you're uncomfortable, just ask questions. Carol's fine with it, now come on.
[Scene: Central Perk, the gang is all there.]
Ross: It's a big deal to me. This is great, Monica. I really appreciate this.
[Scene: A Department Store, Joey is selling men's cologne.]
Joey: Listen, I know you're new, but it's kinda understood that everything from Young Men's to the escalator is my territory.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there as Monica enters.]
Phoebe: (Monica is yanking on her bra strap) Bras! We bought bras! We bought bras.
[Scene: The Department Store, Joey is trying to sell some cologne.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Carol is dropping Ben off for Ross to watch.]
Carol: Ok, and this is Funny Clown. Funny Clown is only for after his naps, not before his naps or he won't sleep.
Susan: Honey, relax. Ross is great with him. (Ross looks at her.) Don't look so surprised. I'm a lovely person.
Rachel: Oh, this is so cute.
Monica: Hello? Oh, Hi, Ju(Sees Rachel is watching)Hi, Jew! (Walks into the kitchen.) (Listens.) Uh huh? (Listens.) Uh huh? (Listens) Ok. (Listens) Um, sure, that'd be great. See ya then. Bye. (Hangs up.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler, Rachel, and Joey are eating, and Phoebe is preparing Ben's milk.]
Rachel: Phoebe, that is juice, squeezed from a person.
Joey: What is the big deal? (Tastes the breast milk.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, time lapse. Rachel is entering the living room from her bedroom as Monica enters.]
Monica: Hey, where is everybody?
Monica: That is an excellent excellent question. That is excellent.
Rachel: Monica, what is with you? Who'd you have lunch with?
Monica: That is not true!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ben is playing in his crib while Chandler and Ross are leaning against the rim and are completely asleep.]
Monica: (on the phone) Hi, who's this? (Listens) Hi, Joanne. Is Rachel working? It's Monica. (Listens) Yes, I know I did a horrible thing. (Listens) Joanne, it's not as simple as all that, ok? (Listens) No, I don't care what Steve thinks. (Listens) Hi, Steve.
(There's a knock on the door which is answered by Phoebe.)
Carol: My breast milk is gross?
Ross: No, no, Carol. There's nothing wrong with it. I just, I just don't think breast milk is for adults.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is wiping down the peninsula counter as Joey enters dressed like a cowboy.]
Chandler: (slides the juice across the counter which Joey catches) What do you care? You're an actor. This is your day job. This isn't supposed to mean anything to you.
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Rachel is cleaning up and Monica is pleading with her.]
Monica: Rachel, (they go back inside) say that I'm friends with her, we spend some time together. Is that so terrible?
Julie: Yes. Oh my god, are you kidding? Ross is so crazy about you, and I really wanted you to like me, and, it's probably me being totally paranoid, but I kinda got the feeling that maybe you don't.
Rachel: Um, ok, uh, oh god, um, when you and uh Ross first started going out, it was really hard for me, um, for many reasons, which I'm not gonna bore you with now, but um, I just, I see how happy he is, you know, and how good you guys are together, and um, Monica's always saying how nice you are, and god I hate it when she's right.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, another showdown is occuring, only this time its between Ross, a plate of cookies, and the breast milk. They've been eyeing each other for a while now, and Chandler and Joey are getting bored. He checks his Ross and in frustration, shoves his watch in front of Ross's eyes as if saying, "Hurry it up already!" Finally, Ross scratches his head, does that again, itches his nose, scratches his head, grabs the bottle, takes a big swig, and piles several cookies into his mouth.]
Chandler: What the hell is going on?!
Monica: No, my eye doctor is Richard! I cant go to him when I dont have a boyfriend!
Ross: (pause) No. But... it only has to happen once. Look, you and I both know we are perfect for each other, right? I mean... so, the only question is... are you attracted to me?
Chandler: (To Joey) Look there is no way youre doing this wedding now. Okay?
Monica: You don't know everything. Did you know that I'm going out with Rachel tonight instead of you? Hmm? And did you know that the only baby around here is you?! And did you know that I can't even look at you right now?! (She storms out.)
(Rachel is looking at the magazine and laughing.)
Chandler: Joey, why is your cable out?
Ross: No-no-no. I don't have a son named Jordie. We all agreed, my son's name is Jamie.
Phoebe: Well, how-how-how is that possible? You barely know her!
Monica: What?! Ross y'know this isnt even about you! I mean this is about Rachel and something wonderful happening for her. I mean you know even if youre right, what if he wants to sleep with her, does it mean he gets too?
Ross: What, you didnt get it? The doctor is a monkey.
Chandler: Well, she is going to know that you stole the joke.
Monica: Its wrong. You know what else is wrong? Phoebe picking Rachel.
Phoebe: (singing) "Went to the store, sat on Santa's lap. Asked him to bring my friends all kind of crap. Said all you need is to write them a song. They haven't heard it, so don't try and sing along. No, don't sing along.
Joey: Oh really! Where? Somewhere funny I'd bet! (Chandler is straining to keep quiet as Phoebe enters.)
Rachel: All right, wherever you wanna go is cool.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is returning and finds Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there.]
(There is a knock on the door, Phoebe answers it, its Mr. Heckles)
Dr. Green: (gets his receipt and notices the twenty) What is this? Who put a twenty down here? Huh?
(Joey is looking at his check.)
Ross: Look, this is a disaster! Can't I please just go?
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachels, Phoebe is sitting on the couch as Rachel and Monica enter.]
[Scene, The Park, Rachel is running and Phoebe is hiding behind a tree.]
Joshua: Yeah, that would be fantastic! My-my nephew is crazy about the Knicks! This is fantastic, thank you so much Rachel. (He takes the tickets and leaves as Mr. Waltham returns.)
Joey: I dont know, Chandler is supposed to be passin em around...
Phoebe: No, I don't think this was your shot. I mean, I don't even think you just get one shot. I really believe big things are gonna happen for you, I do! You've gotta just keep thinking about the day that some kid is gonna run up to his friends and go 'I got the part! I got the part! I'm gonna be Joey Tribbiani's ass!'.
[Scene: Elevator at the Ralph Lauren Offices, Rachel gets in . Kim is there.]
Chandler: Okay, okay. You have to help us decide whose joke this is.
Ross: Well each tell you how we came up with the joke and then you decide which one of us is telling the truthme.
Rachel: Wow, you know what? That is the best fake speech I think Ive ever heard.
Chandler: Is not.
Rachel: Yeah! Its an apothecary table. Does anyone even know what an apothecary is?
Phoebe: Wow! That is a bad audition.
Joey: This is crazy.
Rachel: Oh it does, it does! It is a room separating apparatus from Colonial times.
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Rachel is talking with Ben.]
Ross: Emily, there is nothing between Rachel and me. Okay? I love you.
Phoebe: Yeah Joey that is so gross!
Chandler: Quick! What time is it?! (Holds his watch in front of her face.)
Rachel: This is Chandler. (Points at him.)
Joey: Oh, man, I could totally get that part. Im sorry, that seat is taken.
[Scene: Their building's lobby, Danny is checking his mailbox as Rachel enters carrying shopping bags and goes to her mailbox. Danny has shaved his beard and cut his hair, Rachel doesn't recognize him.]
Chandler: (To Monica) If this is the way all the Gellers flirt, we don't have a problem.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is playing his music. Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel are sitting on the couch.]
[Scene: The hallway, continued from earlier. Monica is still locked out.]
Phoebe: Is it okay if I leave this stuff here 'til Rachel's birthday party?
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's, Rachel is putting away her new clothes as Phoebe enters.]
[Scene: at Barry and Mindy's reception, Monica and Richard are sitting at a table, and Monica is trying to throw a piece of candy into his mouth.]
Rachel: Oh there is no way.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is giving the bill to the same beautiful woman from before.]
Rachel: That is great. Hey, yknow who doesnt have to job hunt? Ross. He works at the university.
Rachel: Oh not-not so much. Umm, what-what do you, what do you mean is there something wrong with Ross?
Frank: I can't believe there's somebody coming out of you right now. There's somebody coming out of you! Is it? Is it? It's my son.
Monica: I cant believe it! What is it? Is it the rubbing or the smell?
Joey: Oh this is great! I might actually get to play Ben's dad!
Rachel: Oh, this is just terrible.
(We see that Ross is returning to his apartment with Jill.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel enters and walks quickly over to the window to watch Rosss apartment. We see that Rosss apartment is empty.]
(We see that Ross is taking off Jills coat.)
Monica: (entering with Chandler) Who? (She looks out the window at Rosss apartment) Is that your sister?
Monica: Oh no its not, no its not. Its a first date. Im sure that nothing is gonna (as she is talking we see Ross close his drapes.)
[Scene: Joeys apartment, Joey is sitting at the counter as Chandler enters.]
[Scene: Joey and Janines, Joey is pacing around as Chandler and Monica enter.]
Monica: Are you kidding me?! Is this; is this turning you on?
Chandler: (looking) Is that a swing?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, The Halloween party has started. Monica is setting out some food as Rachel enters.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is poking his head in.]
Ross: Nooo!! Gandolf?! Gandolf is coming to town?
Chandler: Well, I umm, I mean this is just off the top of my head now, umm but I have this friend. This actor friend and he would kill me if he thought I was doing this umm, but umm would it be possible for him to get an audition for your movie say on Thursday?
(We see the TV and its the last scene where ET is saying goodbye.)
Monica: (crying) This is my favorite part.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Monica is cooking and Rachel is getting ready for a date with Joshua.]
Phoebe: I know! Robin is so gay!
Phoebe: Maybe your resolution is to not make fun of your friends, especially the ones who may soon be flying you to Europe for free on their own plane.
[Cut to the hallway, Janine is entering as Monica is taking out the garbage.]
Chandler: (totally not crying) Well see now that I can see crying over, but Bambi is a cartoon!
Joey: (holding up the Queen of Clubs) Is that your card? (He winks and smiles.)
Rachel: Ugh, she is a slut!
Joey: And it is a love that is based on having and giving and receiv(Shuts up on Monicas glare.)
Ross: Hey! Uh, Phoebes not here is she?
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is hurrying Chloe out the door.]
Ross: (Stepping in between them.)Okay! Okay! Thats it!! Parents!! Parents!! Back away!! All right, this is our wedding day! From now on everyone gets along, and if I hear one more word. NO GRANDCHILDREN! (Pointing at his mother.) Thats right!!
{Transcriber's Note: The credits list two characters, Tia and Samantha, who I assume are the sweaty women Joey and Chandler meet. However, I don't know which is which, so I've simply called them Woman #1 and Woman #2.}
Chandler: Her ankle is what youre watching?
Rachel: Oh, its a tattoo! Thats weird, Phoebe doesnt Wait thats Ursula! Thats not Phoebe that is Ursula!
Monica: Ill get everybody else (Does so), finally we can start celebrating my(She gasps and is stopped by the sight of Ross and Rachel making out in the hall.) Im sorry, uh apparently Ive opened the door to the past.
Monica: What is wrong with you?!!!
Ross: Oh that is quite all right maam. (Elizabeth exits.)
Ursula: Who is it?
Ross: ALL RIGHT!! Phoebe now come on! Will you please tell me what it is I did that mad you so mad at me!
Ross: I hate Chandler, the bastard ruined my life. (Rachel starts looking around and down, with a 'What the hell is going on?' look on her face.)
(She grabs his arm and drags him over to a table where three beautiful women are sitting. Now, Im going to go out on a limb and say that their names are Stephanie, Karin, and Meg. Okay, so I looked at the credits. Of course, only Meg is named later on, so Ill have to guess who is Stephanie and who is Karin. But, well cross that bridge when we come to it.)
Ross: Mark is that ah, the same Mark that helped you get the job?
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is reading a paper as Phoebe enters.]
Monica: Listen Rachel, I feel really bad aboutWhat are you doing? (She sees that Rachel is unpacking.)
Monica: Its so good, that I feel really selfish about being the only one whos eating it, that I think we should have everyone taste how good it is. Especially Ross.
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there as Jill enters.]
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there as Rachel enters.]
Joey: (To Ross) What is the matter with you?!
Ross: Well, ok, it's for 25 thousand dollars. And if I get it, I'll finally be able to complete my field research! And there will be an article about me in the "Paleontology Review"! Yeah! That'll be the first time my name is in there, without people raising serious questions about my work!