words in movies
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, everyone is there having breakfast and Joey enters carrying a loaf of bread.]
Ross: Take from me, as the groom all you have to do is show up and try to say the right name.
Chandler: What in Gods name is that?!
Phoebe: That is so smart! (To Chandler, under her breath) Break it off. Break it off now.
[Scene: A Classroom, Ross is giving a lecture.]
Phoebe: Oh yeah it is! Im going to the movies and it starts in like five minutes.
Monica: All right, so I havent cleared the budget with my parents yet, but tell me how this is for music.
Chandler: Well, you couldnt get them anyway. Ian doesnt plan anymore and Derrick (Off of Rachel and Monicas looks) And Derrick is a name I shouldnt know.
Chandler: Now, do I get to look at this book or is it just for people who are actually involved in the wedding?
Rachel: Joey, there is a perfectly good couch across the hall!
Joey: Yes it is perfectly good, and it is not one of the places the duck got sick!
Joey: Hey little buddy, how are you feeling? (The duck does not get sick and Joey recoils in horror and heads for the couch.) What the hell is in that face cream? (Hes about to try out the couch but notices the bed in Rachels room. He walks into her room and feels the bed.) Thats so soft. (He pulls back the comforter.) Pillowcases! (He climbs in and groans in delight. Suddenly, he feels something under him and pulls out a little beat up paperback book. He opens it and starts to read from it.) (In his head.) Zelda looked at the chimney sweep. Her father, the vicar (Stops reading and thinks.) The vicar? (Continues reading) wouldnt be home for hours. Her loins were burning. She threw caution to the wind and reached out and grabbed his (Out loud.) Whoa! (Reads on in silence.) Whoa-ho-ho-ho! This is a dirty book! (Continues to read.)
[Scene: Rosss apartment, Phoebe has moved in and has a massage client on her table shes set up in the living room. Ross enters and is shocked to see a naked man lying on the table.]
Phoebe: (pause as she considers it) Okay, well Ross, what is this really about?
Ross: Look, this is my home and I want to be able to come and go whenever I want!
Phoebe: Okay, I will find someplace else to do the rest of my appointments. I just dont know what the big deal is!
Ross: The big deal is I dont want naked, greasy strangers in my apartment when I want to kick back with a puzzlebeer! Cold beer.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is sweeping up as Rachel enters.]
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is coming out of the living room carrying his salad and a puzzlebeer! Cold beer. And he decides to fold up Phoebes massage table, but being Ross has trouble with it as there is a knock on the door. He sets the table back up and opens the door to reveal a beautiful woman.]
Woman: Hi, is uh Phoebe here?
Monica: I cant believe it! That there is no money for my wedding?!
Mrs. Geller: Stupid Jack, the word is stupid.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, his massage client is on the table and Ross is reluctantly starting his massage. He spreads some lotion in his hands, and doesnt like it.]
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica and Chandler are returning from dinner, Rachel is already there.]
Rachel: Wait, but theres no money! Well this is terrible! You guys are gonna have to get married in like a, rec. center!
Chandler: Look, it really is gonna be okay. The important thing is that we love each other and that were gonna get married.
Rachel: Well what?! How-how much is it?!
Monica: (To Chandler) How great are you, you little saver?! I mean, the-the amount you have is exactly the budget of my dream wedding!
Monica: This is the most special day of our lives.
Chandler: Look, I understand, but I have to put my foot down. Okay? The answer is no.
Ross: Hey, yknow what? This is your fault! Youre the one that didnt move his-his appointment.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is looking at the wedding book as Monica enters.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is balancing her checkbook as Joey enters from his room wearing a hockey helmet, gloves, and shin guards.]
Rachel: Do you even know what a vicar is?
Joey: I say, 'I am there!' Cool! Aw, is Ross going to?
Ross: Yeah, I have a question. When is this gonna air?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is taking a jar of olives out of the fridge.]
Monica: Ahh, Pete, the other day when you said you needed to talk, umm, just so I know, is it good news or bad news.
Chandler: So, what do you thing the good news is?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is returning from Petes.]
Monica: We have too! I mean what if Ross's hears that and then calls her back and then they get back together? Is that what you want? Ross back with that controlling, neurotic, crazy Emily? The Emily that wouldn't let him see you?
Ross: What is ah, Rach in her room?
Phoebe: Okay. (on phone) We are at a rest stop on Route 27. Okay. (to Rachel) There is no Route 27. (listens) (to Rachel) Okay, either 93 or 76?
Phoebe: What the hell is this?! What, did you actually thought it would make me feel better to give me stuff that I cant use for another two months?! This sucks! All right, whats my next present?!
Phoebe: Excuse me. Umm, is Vince here?
Monica: (On phone) Hi, Nancy. Hi, it's Monica Geller. I'm good. Listen, I'm looking for a job in Tulsa. Well yeah, my husband has been relocated...Because I love him! No, I don't want a job in New York. Javo (sp?) is looking? Oh my God! He asked for me personally? Oh my God! Oh, wow, this is really flattering, but I'm moving to Tulsa. Yeah, so if you would tell Javo (sp?) 'I'll take it!'
{Transcribers Note: Elizabeth has two friends in the room with her who are named in the credits, but not in this scene. So Im just gonna guess since it doesnt matter one way or the other. (The last part is to discourage e-mails, who cares if I got it right or not?)}
Ross: Well, like that, only instead of a chair, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of a jacket, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of the end of the day, it's the end of time, and garbage is all that has survived! (Ross takes the loosely tied tie off and hands it to Joey who puts it on.) Here.
Monica: (entering from her room, excitedly) Im getting married today!!! (She trips and falls.) (Getting up) I think I just cracked a rib. But I dont care because todays my wedding day! My day is finally here!! (Runs back into her room.)
Kate: Happy?! Is that what Im supposed to be Vic? Happy?
Joey: I couldnt help it, there love is so pure.
[Scene: Rachel and Barrys bedroom, Rachel is returning from her disastrous attempt at an affair to find that Barry was much, much more successful with his.]
Chandler: What are you smiling about? What is so funny?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebes singing, Vince is also there.]
Chandler: (to Monica) You see you cant tell which one is which either, dwha!!
Phoebe: Well, this is none of my business. (starts to walk away)
Ross: (getting up) Okay! Fine! Fine! If-if this is what you think, forget about the whole three divorce thing! Okay, I-Ill go to my lawyers office right now and get this marriage annulled! Okay?! Because she means nothing to me! Noth(leans down to Megs ear)Nothing!!
Sandy: Her name is Deliah.
[Scene: Central Perk, the whole gang minus Monica is there.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is trying to find out what Phoebe wont tell her.]
Robin: What is it, Tim?
Monica: Actually there is. Chandler usually helps me with this, but hes really into the game so I dont want to bother him. Could you help me fold these napkins? (Hands her a stack of them.)
Phoebe: Well, Ursula is a waitress and-and she lives in Soho. And Phoebe, (pause) is on this couch.
Rachel: Why?! What is it?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is making reservations.]
MONICA: What? [she runs over to where Phoebe is, Phoebe signals for Gunther to go] I don't see anything.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler is playing foosball by himself, Joey enters]
Chandler: Hell is filled with people like you.
Gary: Phoebe, it's okay that you feel this way. I mean it is soon. And there's a lot of things we don't know about each other, and I just figure that everything I really like. And the things I don't know, I get to learn about at someplace with both our names on the mailbox.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there with Bonnie, as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: This is Bonnie? (to Phoebe) This is Bonnie? (to Bonnie) Youre Bonnie?
Rachel: (looks in the window) Ohh, well, this is just perfect!
Chandler: Oh yeah, that was great. Thanks to you, the hottest cocktail waitress there is quitting to teach the third grade!
Ross: None of the sane ones wanted to come back with me! That�s not the point. Ok? The point is you...you are the oneWho moved on and didn�t tell anyone!
Chandler: (to his co-workers) What is with him?
Monica: God Ross, what is that?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is there as Ross enters, walking very confidently.]
Dr. Green: Wait a minute, his name is Dr. Bobby?
Ross: Well, then that guy is in serious, serious trouble.
Joey: But, hey, look, you know the good thing is, is that we spent the whole day together and I survived, and what's even more amazing, so did she. It was bat day at Shea Stadium.
(She is rubbing his chest and her voice trails off into silence, a long pause follows.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is watching TV as Joey and Kathy are laughing in Joey's bedroom. They get to be pretty loud so Chandler turns the TV way up.]
(There is a loud knocking at the door through which Joey has just entered.)
Ross: Hey Emma. Oh, why is she wearing her hat so low? She can barely see. (Wants to take the hat off, but Rachel tries to stop him).
Rachel: (to him) Hi! Is my misery amusing to you?
Mrs. Geller: Well what is it? Come on sweetie, your like, freaking me out here.
RACHEL: My parents happened. All they had to do was sit in the same stadium, smile proudly, and not talk about the divorce. But nooo, they got into a huge fight in the middle of the commencement address. Bishop Tutu actually had to stop and shush them. But you know what, you know what the good news is? I get to serve coffee for the next 8 hours.
CHANDLER: Because I went to an all boys high school and God is making up for it.
Frank: Well, you see, the-the thing is, we-we only got, we kinda have one shot to make it right.
Rachel: That is so cool.
Chandler: Why is that so funny?
JOEY: Right. Ok, ok, uh, ducks is heads, because ducks have heads.
(A flashback of Aurora and Chandler on their date in Central Perk is denoted by italics.)
(Chandler gets up and runs out, but as soon as the door closes behind him he opens it, runs back in, picks up his ring Richard is holding up for him, and runs back out.)
Chloe: But my apartment is so...
Phoebe Sr: Well, yes, its kindve an unusual house. It has umm, three beautiful bedrooms and ah, no baths. But y'know, the ocean is right there.
Chandler: David, let me stop you there 'cause I think I see where this is going. I'm not very good at giving advice. So if you want advice, go to Ross, Monica, or... Joey, if the thing you wanna advice about is pizza toppings or burning sensation when you pee.
Monica: Oh well, where is he?!
[Scene: The Waiting Room, the rest of the gang is lounging around.]
[Scene: The Doctors office, Dr. Zane is examining Phoebe as Frank and Alice watch.]
Joey: Hey, what is with the secrecy Phoebe? Huh? And what about this Denise, is she cute?
Phil: With him? Youre is favourite, youre his guy!
Chandler: Nice going, imp. OK, it's OK. All I need to do is reach over and put it in my mouth. (Chandler slyly grabs the gum from the wall and slides it back in his mouth.)
Chandler: Y'know, I don't know if you've ever looked up the term goofing around in the dictionary... Well, I have, and the technical definition is, two friends who care a lot about each other and have amazing sex and just wanna spend more time together. But if you have this new fangled dictionary that gets you made at me, then we have to, y'know, get you my original dictionary. I am *so* bad at this.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is getting ready to go to Joeys premiere and Phoebe is still on hold.]
[Scene: Outside the beach house, Ross is coming out to talk to Rachel.]
Joey: (scores) Yes! I win again! Ha-ha! Thats like 500 bucks you owe me! Whoo-ho-hoo! (Goes over to the fridge and starts opening and closing the door rapidly.) $500 that is a loooot of electricity! (By the way, theres nothing in the fridge.) Whoo-ho-ho! (Notices the sparseness of the fridge.) I gotta buy some food.
[Scene: A Theater, the gang is in the audience wating for a play of Joey's to start.]
JOEY: Hey and everbody is so nice. I just had a good talk with that lady with the red hair, Jeannie.
(He goes over and gives Rachel the same treatment he gave Monica, only Rachel is shocked.)
[Scene: Central Perk, the whole gang is there as Joey enters]
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe's beeper is going off]
Phoebe Sr: All right, the man in the picture is Chuck Magioni.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is serving her last cup of coffee.]
Billy: (to Joey) Hey, Im trying to have a private conversation! Is that okay?!
Monica: Oops! (Covers its eyes.) Yknow, your birthday is in a month-and-a-half, what do you say I forget to get you a present for that too?
[Monica is visibly upset]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Phoebe is telling everyone how it went across the hall as the foosball game continues.]
(The gang is shocked.)
Joey: Well, that is usually what I would do. But I just never thought youd be on the receiving end of it. How could you do this?!
Ross: Oh, is it? Is it? Look, when Monica and I were kids, we had a dog named Rover. And, uh, one day, my dad decides, he doesn't like dogs. So Monica and her friend Phyllis take away the dog. And that was the last time we ever saw him. Don't you see? This is just like that. Only with a few details changed.
Phoebe: Ohh. What is this? (She sees a tissue covering something, and moves to remove it.)
Joey: (climbing out of the hole) What?! What?!! What is it?!
Monica: What?! What is it?!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is in the kitchen chopping vegetables. Chandler and Phoebe are sitting in the living room.]
MONICA: No, no, not a party. Just a surprise gathering of some people Rachel knows. Um, this is Phoebe and Chandler and Joey.
Joey: You can totally tell! Here look, watch me. (He stands up and turns his back to them so that he is facing the window.) Smile! Frown. Smile! Frown. (The camera cuts to Ross outside hanging up the phone.) Smile! (Ross turns around and sees Joey alternately smiling and frowning and just stares at him for a second and heads back inside.)
JOEY: Uhh, well, right now I'm in between things. You know how it is. One day you're processing, the next day you're not so much... processing any more.
Chandler: Well, then it looks like somebody is gonna have to give back somebody his cushions.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is reading The Shining, as Monica enters.]
Chandler: Yes! Yes! Im good! Are you good? Are you good? Is everythingare youare you perrr-perfect?!
Joey: Well, it looks like it wasnt heeled after all! Yeah! So, I guess this chair is mine now! (Sits down in it and groans.)
Rachel: That is so sad. Your missing out on so much, Ross. I mean, the bonding and the sharing, you know. And-and knowing that someone else is going through the same thing you are.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is finishing up a song.]