words in movies
[Scene: At Chandler and Joey's. Ross and Chandler are there. Ross is watching wrestling.]
JADE: Hello, I'm looking for Bob. This is Jane. I don't know if you're still at this number, but I was just thinking about us, and how great it was, and, well, I know it's been three years, but, I was kinda hoping we could hook up again. I barely had t he nerve to make this call, so you know what I did?
CHANDLER: Ok, while Ross is on the phone, everybody owes me 62 bucks for his birthday.
PHOEBE: Um, is, is there any chance that you're rounding up? You know, like from, like 20?
PHOEBE: Can you believe how much this is gonna cost?
JOEY: If it's not you, this is a horrible story.
MONICA: Fortunately, it is me. And, they made me head of purchasing, thank you very much. Anyway, I just ran into Ross and Chandler downstairs, and they think we should go out and celebrate. You know, someplace nice.
ROSS: That doesn't matter. She wanted to call Bob. Hey, for all we know, Bob is who she was meant to be with. You may be destroying two people's chance for happiness.
CHANDLER: Whoever stood you up is a jerk.
ROSS: Ok, ok, here is to my sister, the newly-appointed head lunch chef--
MONICA: Who is also in charge of purchasing.
ROSS: Newly appointed head lunch chef who is also in charge of purchasing--
ROSS: Well, pretty incredible according to the message she left you on my machine. Hey, Chandler, why is this woman leaving a message for you on my machine?
CHANDLER: Oh, see, I had to tell her that my number was your number, because I couldn't tell her that my number was my number because she thinks that my number is Bob's number.
JOEY: Yeah, I'll have the Thai chicken pizza. But, hey, look, if I get it without the nuts and leeks and stuff, is it cheaper?
ROSS: So five of us is, $33.50 apiece.
ROSS: No, look, hey, it's my birthday, and the important thing is that we all be together.
ROSS: But wait, there's more. Hey, Chandler, what is in the envelope?
JOEY: Look, it's a nice gesture, it is. But it just feels like--
JOEY: Yeah, look, we were just saying, this whole thing is really stupid.
Frank Jr.: You just don't know how hard it is, Phoebe. There's just so many of them. You know, two I can handle. Two's great. You just hold one in each hand, but what do I do when the third one runs at me with his bike helmet on. I've got no more hands to protect my area! There's three of them, Phoebe, three!
TV announcer: Next up is a marching band from Muskogee, OK.
Phoebe: This is the worst Christmas ever.
Woman: Im pressing, a policeman is on his way.
ROSS: Fine, OK! Heat, heat, heat, and I'm the obsessive one. [goes to the radiator and starts turning the knob] OK, this way is on, so this is. . . [breaks off the knob] off.
Joey: Okay! (He yanks his hand away.) All right. Umm, all right Wayne, level with me. Okay? I-I keep hearing all these rumors that I might get fired. Okay, they even have actors coming in to read for my part! Come on man, you-you got to give me a second chance! I mean, I love-I love this little guy! (He grabs C.H.E.E.S.E.s arm and pulls it off at the elbow.) Ah-ah!! (Wayne is shocked.) Okay, thats why you didnt want me to touch him right? Here you go! Okay? (Hands Wayne the arm and he goes to fix it. Meanwhile Joey starts to berate himself.) Stupid! I cant believe it! God! (A very beautiful woman walks by.) (To her) Hey, how you doin? (He and her go over to talk and Wayne looks on with envy.)
Benjamin: Like I tried to tell you in the interview Ross, this grant is not based on your knowledge of pretty useless trivia.
[Scene: Joey and now Rachel's apartment, Joey has the fridge pulled out away from the wall and is in the process of pulling off the cooling grate behind it.]
[Scene: Rachels new job, Rachels boss is telling her what to do.]
MRS. GREENE: Oh, you kids [she caresses his face and chest] Well, this is the best party I've been to in years.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, its 0-Dark:30, in other words its really, really early. Everyones asleep, and all through the apartments not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. That is except for the chick, who turns out to be a rooster and is crowing in the sun. Needless to say, this awakens Monica and Rachel who rush into their living room, searching for the cause of the sound.]
Joey: Okay, I know it sounds crazy, but I think it might work. Yknow? The only problem is, Carls acting is (Does the international hand symbol for so-so.)
Rachel: Its not funny, this is actually my job.
Monica: Wait a minute, just because he paid for your head shots youre gonna take him? Joey, I dont think youre comprehending just how slutty this dress is!
Rachel: Yeah! His name is um, Mark something.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is working on his list]
Phoebe: Okay. I have just a few questions to ask so I'm going to get out my official forms. (She picks up a couple of crumpled receipts.) Okay, so, question 1) You and uh, you were married to Francis' daughter Lilly, is that correct?
MONICA: Two? TWO? How is that possible? I mean, have you seen you?
Monica: What is the worse part?
[Scene: Chandlers office, Chandler is confronting his boss about the butt smacking thing. His boss is writing on a white board.]
(Chandler sees Phoebe breaking up with Tony. She talks to him for a few seconds, hugs him, and then he leaves. Chandler is amazed how easy it was for her.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross is reading a letter that Chandler wrote.]
Joey: I love that movie. (Joey is using it as a pillow)
Ross: (puts away his wallet) And what is second prize?
Ross: That is so made up!
(Monica is sarcastically amazed.)
[Scene: Howard's party, Phoebe is talking Ross up to two more partygoers. Ross isn't happy about it.]
GIRL 1: Is it true they have beer?
Monica: Oh, that is amazing!
Joey: Okay. Now this is just for tonight. Starting tomorrow, you gotta make a change. This has gone on long enough.
[Scene: Rosss, the gang, minus Rachel of course, is there. Chandler is forced to smoke by an open window.]
Rachel: Well, Im really sick of your smoking, so I brought something that is going to help you quit. (hands him an audio cassette)
Chandler: Okay, when are we gonna tell Rachel what is actually gonna happen?
Monica: (on phone) Hello Greg? (Listens) Hi, this is Monica from the plane? Listen, the number that you gave me 853-5 (Listens) (To Chandler) That is their old number! Jennys been giving it out since they moved!
Mr. Geller: Oh my God! This is so exciting! Well, get back in there! (Points to the closet) Ill guard the door!
MRS GREEN: I mean, this is no offense to your dad, sweetie, but I was thinking there might be more.
Chandler: Look, Im telling you this is just like my parents divorce, which is when I started smoking in the first place.
Chandler: This is so bad. If-if youre not Mary-Angela, then-then who is?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, The entire gang is there.]
RTST: This is a nice resume. Nice, nice, nice. Muy impressivo.
Phoebe: Whoa!! He is soo unreasonable! God, although I think I understand what he means. Oh my God, this is like 60 Minutes, okay, when, when, at first youre really mad at that pharmaceutical company for making the drug and then y'know you just feel bad for the people because they needed to make their hair grow.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is getting ready for her first day.]
Chandler: Say Ross, when you picture Phoebe living on the street, is she surrounded by the entire cast of Annie?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Chandler is getting help writing his vows from Joey and Ross.]
[Scene: Rachel's office, Mark is training Rachel.]
Ross: This is Ross?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica is outside the bathroom yelling at Ross who's in the bathroom.]
Ross: (on phone) Hi, is Rachel there?
Mark: And who may I say is calling?
Monica: Oh! (Gets up) Lets see, well if this is the wedding hall then umm (Walks away) youre parents will be at home in Queens.
Phoebe: You keep the old ones in the back, that is so ageist.
Phoebe: (covering her mouth in shock) What, what is that?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is reading Joey's resume.]
RTST: Go ahead. Try a piece. Yeah, we think that Mockolate is even better than chocolate.
[Scene: Chandlers, Chandler is interviewing Joey.]
Phoebe: Ugh! No! This is so hard! I went through this whole book (Holds up a book) and found nothing! I want a name thats really like, yknow strong and confident, yknow? Like-like Exxon.
Chandler: You really think that is what he meant?
Joey: What the?! (Joey pounds the table and starts yelling at Rachel, and which is drowned out by applause. Rachel is desperately trying to tell Joey that hes on TV right now. He finally notices and he does his gracious loser face.)
Ross: Why?! How?! How is he a genius?
Ross: Chandler!!! Chandler!!! (He opens the door to the apartment but is stopped by the chain; Chandler and Monica quickly stop making out and try to get dressed.) Chandler, I saw what you were doing through the window! Chandler, I saw what you were doing to my sister! Now get out here!
Mark: What is going on?
Ross: Which one is Gina?
[Scene: Joey's dance audition, Joey is warming up.]
Joey: So, does that mean the audition is off?
JOEY: Likewise. Uh, I'll take that. [grabs moose hat] It's what I came for. So, this is new. Where'd you two meet?
Julio: Whoa, whoa, whoa, the poem is not about you.
Chandler: Okay, here is the thing. We have thrown a very formal surprise party for you in there! All of your friends are in there and your parents!
Rachel: Sure, is she married?
[Cut to the casino, Monica is walking through it past the craps table when she notices a chip on the floor. She picks it up and heads to the table.]
RACHEL: Yeah, I mean, you know it, I mean, if it were me I, I, you know, I'd want you to, I don't know, like catch me off guard, you know, with like a really good kiss, you know really, sort of um, soft at first, then maybe um brush the hair away from my face, and look far into my eyes in a way that let's me know that something amazing is about to happen.
Man: (entering) Is there a Julio here?
[Scene: A Video Store, Monica is running in to return a video.]
Monica: Forty-two to twenty-one! Like the turkey, Ross is done!
Phoebe: Really? Theres nothing sexual about this? (Sexily) Oooh. Oo God! Ohh. Ohhhh. Ohh. (Some cute guy is watching closely.) (To him) What are you looking at?! (Pause) I mean hi.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is watching TV.]
Soothing male voice: ..a sound Mom and Dad never forget. For this after all, is the miracle of birth.
CHANDLER: Well, uh, why don't you ask him yourself. Joey, this is my new roommate Eddie.
Phoebe: Um, Chandler, Ross, this is Robert.
Phoebe: I-I cant find anything that I want to eat! Everything I eat makes me nauseous! Im telling you, being pregnant is no piece of cakeooh! Cake! (Chandler shrugs, and Phoebe grimaces.) No.
Chandler: The man is showing brain.
Ross: What, what do you mean, what? Is he gay?
Chandler: Yeah. Is that a dinosaur tie?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is teaching Richard how to make lasagne.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. They're still in their chairs watching TV. Chandler is ordering a pizza.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is talking to Richard on the phone.]
Chandler: Youve got it. (he starts to look at his sisters, but he still doesnt know which one is Mary-Angela.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Robert is picking up Phoebe for a date.]
[Time lapse. Everyone is upset with each other. Phoebe is at the window.]
Phoebe: Okay. Oooh! Oh, this is our last huddle, yeah.
Phoebe: Please, right now, no, every time I see him its like Is it on the lose? Is it watching me?
Ross: Now that is funny. Hey, do you think...would it be too weird if I invited Carol over to join us? 'Cause she's, she's alone now, and pregnant, and, and sad.
Richard: Ah well, this is the living room.
CAROL: Actually, he is getting closer on the talking thing. He can't quite say mama yet, but once he said yumen.
Richard: All right. This is the kitchen.
Chandler: Yes, that is cool. Because I have models here y'know......never.
Joey: Wow! This girl is good.
Monica: I think Ill help her out. (She gets up to go over and help Rachel, and reveals she has no pants.) (to Rachel) What is going on here?
Phoebe: Yeah. (She notices some guy putting a coat on his girlfriend is trying to remember where hes seen her before.) (To him) Youre trying to figure out where you know me from? All right, Ill give you a hint. From porn! Okay? (He tries to rush his girlfriend out.) Yeah your pervert boyfriend watched me in a porno movie! (To Joey) See?
[Scene: Outside the bathroom, Chandler is pacing back and fourth, waiting is use it.]
Joey: Listen, I know you're new, but it's kinda understood that everything from Young Men's to the escalator is my territory.