words in movies
[Scene: At Chandler and Joey's. Ross and Chandler are there. Ross is watching wrestling.]
JADE: Hello, I'm looking for Bob. This is Jane. I don't know if you're still at this number, but I was just thinking about us, and how great it was, and, well, I know it's been three years, but, I was kinda hoping we could hook up again. I barely had t he nerve to make this call, so you know what I did?
CHANDLER: Ok, while Ross is on the phone, everybody owes me 62 bucks for his birthday.
PHOEBE: Um, is, is there any chance that you're rounding up? You know, like from, like 20?
PHOEBE: Can you believe how much this is gonna cost?
JOEY: If it's not you, this is a horrible story.
MONICA: Fortunately, it is me. And, they made me head of purchasing, thank you very much. Anyway, I just ran into Ross and Chandler downstairs, and they think we should go out and celebrate. You know, someplace nice.
ROSS: That doesn't matter. She wanted to call Bob. Hey, for all we know, Bob is who she was meant to be with. You may be destroying two people's chance for happiness.
CHANDLER: Whoever stood you up is a jerk.
ROSS: Ok, ok, here is to my sister, the newly-appointed head lunch chef--
MONICA: Who is also in charge of purchasing.
ROSS: Newly appointed head lunch chef who is also in charge of purchasing--
ROSS: Well, pretty incredible according to the message she left you on my machine. Hey, Chandler, why is this woman leaving a message for you on my machine?
CHANDLER: Oh, see, I had to tell her that my number was your number, because I couldn't tell her that my number was my number because she thinks that my number is Bob's number.
JOEY: Yeah, I'll have the Thai chicken pizza. But, hey, look, if I get it without the nuts and leeks and stuff, is it cheaper?
ROSS: So five of us is, $33.50 apiece.
ROSS: No, look, hey, it's my birthday, and the important thing is that we all be together.
ROSS: But wait, there's more. Hey, Chandler, what is in the envelope?
JOEY: Look, it's a nice gesture, it is. But it just feels like--
JOEY: Yeah, look, we were just saying, this whole thing is really stupid.
Chandler: Where's Monica?! Where is she? I need to talk to her! It's urgent! Is she here?
Donny: Joey describe these things associated with the United States congress. (Joey goes form looking very confident to looking very shocked the instant the word congress is said) Give me 20 seconds on the clock please. Ready? Go!
Ross: Yeah, it is.
Joey: Man, this is gonna be kinda weird.
Chandler: And you dont think taking care of our chick is work?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Chandler is watching TV and Monica is cooking]
Ross: You're kid's name is Raymond!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is greeting her Father for their brunch.]
Monica: Y'know what? After you're with this woman for like ten minutes, you forget all that. I mean, she is this astounding person, with this, with this amazing spirit.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is buying a muffin as Chandler runs in.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is on her dinner date with Joshua.]
Pete: Come on, you gotta admit that our relationship is ah, is hitting a new level now. Cause you used to be like the chef, and I was the customer, and now were like this-this couple that fights.
Rachel: That is it! You just barge in here, you don't knock
[Scene: Ross's building, Joey is knocking on a door again. It's again answered by Ross.]
Joey: (reading the card) Whoa! This guy is like the biggest commercial casting director in town! (Ross gasps) Ben takes one lousy walk in the park and gets an audition!! (Ross and Carol stare at him, then Joey realizes what he just said.) I mean, way to go Ben! (Gives Ben the thumbs up, which Ben returns.) Man! I've been in that park a million times and no one offered me an audition.
Rachel: Why, how much is this gonna cost?
MNCA: Oh, isn't he? Oh, you know, I really think this time it may work with him. I mean, he just makes me feel so good and I've been feeling so lousy this last couple of months, no job, no boyfriend. Well, at least my cup is half full.
[Cut to another part of the room, Ross is going to talk to Joey.]
PHOEBE: Oh alright, stop, STOP THE MADNESS. This is crazy. Who can even remember why this even started in the first place?
Chandler: (to Kim and Nancy) Oh, hi! Excuse me, is uh Rachel Green here? I was supposed to meet her for lunch.
Monica: All right fine, your guy may have a great body, but our guy is really funny.
Chandler: Look, it really is gonna be okay. The important thing is that we love each other and that were gonna get married.
Phoebe: What?! He was with her when he wrote this poem. Look, (reading) 'My vessel so empty with nothing inside. Now that I've touched you, you seem emptier still.' He thinks Monica is empty, she is the empty vase!
Joey: Yeah-yeah. And the craziest thing is that I just ate a whole pizza by myself! (Laughs)
Phoebe: This is so cool!
Chandler: Which is why Asteroids is perfect! Its the oldest game!
Joey: Thanks! I've been working out. Hey listen, is it obvious that I'm wearing six sweaters?
Monica: Is that the one that speaks English or the one that doesn't?
Rachel: Oh, this is great! I am gonna call him right now! (Jumps up.) Oh, thank you!
Joey: Oh umm, my big scene is coming up. Big scene coming up.
Ross: The gas is odorless, but they add the smell so you know when there's a leak.
Ross: Of course he is! What, do you think Id just use my son as-as an excuse? What kind of father do you think I am?
Chandler: Im sorry. Im-Im-Im sorry that I said I was going to when Im not. Look, this has nothing to do with you, y'know? And this isnt Rachels fault. Its me. I have serious, serious problems when it comes to women. I have issues with commitment, intimacy, (pause) mascara goop. And Im really sorry, its just that this is not, this isnt going to work out.
Rachel: Okay that is the one we already have!
Phoebe: (smiling) This is terrible, what are you going to do?
Chandler: (smiling) Well, what is it?
CHANDLER: Yes, yes I actually saw him leave. I mean that guy is standing in the window holding a human head. He is STANDING IN THE WINDOW HOLDING A HUMAN HEAD!
Monica: Well, instead of being sad that tonight is my last night together with Rachel we thought wed go out to dinner and celebrate the fact that Rachel is moving in with Phoebe.
Joey: So youre playing a little Playstation, huh? Thats whack! Playstation is whack! Sup with the whack Playstation, sup?! Huh? Come on, am I 19 or what?!
Monica: Yeah, what is it?
Monica: Yes it is. You see I've always found the men's bathroom very sexual. Haven't you?
(Ross's vigorous protest is attracting attention.)
Ross: Well, this is ironic. Of your last two boyfriends, Richard didnt want to have kids, and from the looks of it, now Pete cant.
Rachel: Y'know if what I do is so lame, then why did you insist on coming with me this morning? Huh? Was it so I just wouldnt go with Mark?
Caitlin: Oh, is there a problem?
[Scene: The street outside the building, Rachel is running to catch up with Caitlin.]
[Scene: Chandlers, Chandler is interviewing a potential roommate.]
Joey: (entering) Hey! Is the show still on?
Chandler: Rachel got Ross the tuxedo that Val Kilmer wore in Batman. Okay Batman is so much cooler than James Bond!
Ross: Oh God, thank you! (Runs and gives all of them a group hug.) Umm, uh, Mr. Stevens Id like you to meet my friends uh, this is Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler.
Joey: Thats not, prison lingo, is it?
Joey: Okay, buddy-boy. Here it is. You hide my clothes, I'm wearing everything you own.
Chandler: It is starting to get dark out there.
[Time lapse, they're still on the ride along and Joey is just sniffing his sandwich.]
Phoebe: This isn't a good deed, you just wanted to get on TV! This is totally selfish.
Chandler: Well, is there any chance you were looking into a bright, shiny thing called a mirror?
Rachel: So all we have is ice?
Rachel: Wow! This is great! Look at all these cups! This is so weird.
Ross: What is it?
Ross: What? What? What? What is it?
Joey: Is everything okay?
Dina: I cant believe shes really gone. Look around you, all of this is ours. (They move into kiss but; theyre stopped by Joey entering with a huge bandage wrapped around his head.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is eating breakfast, Ross is heading for the bathroom.]
Rachel: (returning from calling Warren) Ugh!!! Well, the apartment is already subletted! I mean, this is just hopeless. Im never gonna find anything.
Joey: Is something wrong?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is pacing as Joey enters.]
Joey: How good is that?
DOCTOR: No, it's just a good bone bruise. And, right here is the puncture wound from your ring.
Ross: You weren't there! Okay, maybe this is something that I-I'm supposed to seize! Y'know?
(Ross is stunned.)
Ross: Yeah. Maybe today is just, close call day.
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there.]
Ross: Hey, is Rachel here? Um, I wanted to wish her a happy birthday before I left.
(Joey gets all happy with himself, while the rest of the gang is less than enthused.)
Chandler: Okay now it doesnt matter which one you choose, yknow? Its completely up to you. Our guy is perfect, or you can go out with the guy Phoebe deemed not good enough to go out with herself.
[Scene: The smoker's balcony, Rachel is out to join Kim and Nancy.]
Joey: All right, youre probably not gonna want to hear this but ah, if it was me, and this is just me, (Chandler gets ready to throw another dart) I would ah, I would bow out.
Parker: That sounds great. (Sits down) My God this is the most comfortable couch Ive ever sat on in my entire life. (Bounces on couch)
Phoebe: No, but it is fast. Isn't it?
Joey: Hey, what time is it?
Mindy: Look, I know he's not perfect, but the truth is, at the end of the day, I still really wanna be Mrs. Dr. Barry Farber, D.D.S.
Rachel: Is Monica here?
[Scene: Ursula's apartment, Phoebe is about to break the bad news to her sister. She knocks on the door.]
Ross: What-what is it?!
Joey: I know! Thats why we got to find Monica!! You know where she is?
Joey: What the hell is that?!!
Rachel: Yes it is!
Ross: Why is it inside out?!
Janice: Hi! Hi sweetheart! This is my husband Sid, I dont think youve met him. Ross, Rachel, this is Sid. I nabbed him a year ago at the dermatologists office. Thank God for adult acne huh? (Does the laugh.)
Rachel: Well obviously I wont be able to come, for those of you who havent checked their calendars today is my due date. Well yknow, I just want to take a moment and thank you guys for how great youve been during this time. I really couldnt have done it without you. And I have loved these last nine months! And even though I am so looking forward to the next part, I am really gonna miss being pregnant.
[The first clip is from The One Where Rachel Finds Out.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is telling Monica about his new baby sitting job.]
Chandler: Mrs. Tedlock. You're looking lovely today. And may I say, that is a very flattering sleeve length on you.
Rachel: Joey look, just look at it this way, the sooner Phoebe breaks Chandler the sooner this is all over and out in the open.
Phoebe: Oh my God! Why would you play hide and seek with someone you know is a flight risk?!
Phoebe: Which is why my answer is yes!
(Monica plays those words back in her mind and then smiles and runs to Chandler, who is twisting with joy. They hug.)
(Joey is leaving and notices Monica, as Monica notices him)
Rachel: Okay. Okay honey, hes fine, hes fine, lets just put him down. Come here, Ben. (sets him on the couch) See thats a good boy. (to Monica) How could you do that to him!! Ross trusted me, what is he going to say?!
Phoebe: Umm, not without you, lover. (She slowly walks over to him and is showcasing her bra.) So, this is my bra.