words in movies
ROSS: Believe me, I've been dreaming about me and Rachel for ten years now. But now, I'm with Julie, so it's like me and Julie, me and Rachel, me and Julie, me and... [Rachel enters, carrying a tray]... Rachel. Rachel, Rachel.
PHOE: Ok, um, hi, hello, hi, ok, so, um, this is a song about a love triangle between three people that I made up. Um, it's called, um, "Two of Them Kissed Last Night".
RTST: Mockolate. It's a completely synthetic chocolate substitute.
PHOE: It's not, it's not very Thanksgiving-y.
ROSS: No, no, uh, it's not what you think. It's um the other thing.
ROSS: Really. It's always been you, Rach.
ROSS: I know, I know, it's, it's almost...[turns around, sees Chandler and Joey] What do you say we go take a walk, just us, not them?
CHAN: No, no, see? See? [the printer starts to run] Hey, it's printing. [to Joey, rattled] Hey, it's printing!
ROSS: I just wanna read something. It's your pro list.
RADIO: Uh, we've just gotten a call from Rachel, and she told us what Ross did. It's pretty appalling, and Ross, if you're listening, I don't wanna play your song anymore. Why don't we devote our time to a couple that stands a chance? Avery, Michelle's sorry she hit you with her car and she hopes you two will work it out.
RTST: It's like I'm lookin' in a mirror. Anyway, they're called "fishtachios". They taste exactly like pistachios, but they're made primarily of reconstituted fish bits. Here, try one. You're not allergic to anything, are you?
Rachel: Yeah, well, it's an important day. I wanna look nice. Um, has uh Dr. Franzblau been by?
ROSS: Hello, it's us, all right? It'll be fine.
Joey: Now YOU'RE telling me I can't see her?? You guys are killing me! She's forbidden fruit! It's like ... like she's the princess and I'm the stable boy ... Why are you doing this, huh? Did Ross tell you not to let me go over there?
Ross: But we do! (pause) It's gonna be ok, Rach!
Grandma Tribbiani: No, it's Sam Waterston! Crimes and Misdemeanors, Capricorn One.
ROSS: I don't, I don't understand. I mean, you, it's like we can't win with you guys.
Ross: No, it's just...you know the whole "getting on with your life" thing. Well, do I have to? I mean, I'm sitting here with this cute woman, and, and, and she's perfectly nice, and, but that there's, that's it. And um, and then I'm here talkin' to you, and, and it's easy, and it's fun, and, and I don't, I don't have to...You know, here's a wacky thought. Um, what's say you and I give it another shot? No no no, I know what you're gonna say, you're a lesbian. But what do you say we just put that aside for now you know? Let's just stick a pin in it, ok? Because, we're great together, you know. You can't deny it. Besides, you're carrying my baby. I mean, how perfect is that? But see, you know, you keep sayin' that, but there's somethin' right here. I love you.
Phoebe: Well, it just, it doesn't feel like playing anymore, it feels like work. It's like I'm working in the field.
[All by myself is playing. Chandler is sitting in front of a window while it's raining outside. We see Joey through a rainy window. The camera zooms out to show it's just his tabletop water sculpture.]
Monica: Oh no-no-no, it's still me.
Monica: Okay. Well, it's good news. It's good news.
Monica: Well that's it. People never say `We need to talk' unless it's something bad.
Rachel: No, but it's good, you know, I'm gonna take some time off and do some charity work.
Phoebe: Yeah, because you know what, it's... it's all about the children.
Carol: You know that thing you put over here with the pin in it? It's time to take the pin out. You'll find someone, I know you will. The right woman is just waiting for you.
Kathy: No, no, it's not like that. I, I work for a medical researcher.
Chandler: (to the others) You hear that? You may not be with your families, but at least it's gonna smell like ham in here.
Monica: What if it's new? I mean, we agreed not to talk again, unless we had something really important to say. Shouldn't I call him back?
Ross: It's, it's, it's, uh, a totally diferent situation! It's, it's apples and oranges, it's, it's orthodontists and lesbi- I gotta go.
Chandler: Nice going, imp. OK, it's OK. All I need to do is reach over and put it in my mouth. (Chandler slyly grabs the gum from the wall and slides it back in his mouth.)
PHOEBE: I don't know, it's just, you know...monkeys, Darwin, you know, it's a, it's a nice story, I just think it's a little too easy.
Joey: Thanks man. Did you hear that, you guys? You're gonna get to stay here! And, and it's good, you know, 'cause, 'cause now you have a reason to come visit.
MONICA: It's gonna be ok. Ryan's been under water. He's just gonna be so glad that you don't have barnicles on your butt.
Rachel: No, it's not better. I still don't get to see you.
Phoebe: (at the window) Hey look, you guys, it's snowing!
MR. GELLER: C'mon Rich, it's my birthday, let me live vicariously.
MR. GELLER: It's the off light. Right Ross? [pans over to see Ross with an afro and moustache]
Chandler: No, it's... fancier than a pimple. Look Ross, why don't you just go see a
ROSS: Yeah, I know, it's my birthday. We all should be here.
RICHARD: Woah, woah, no wait a minute now. C'mon it's your turn. Oh c'mon. Ya know, I don't need the actual number, just a ballpark.
Chandler: I've actually ruined this haven't I? It's time for the good ice cream now, right?
Monica: Yeah. All right, I'm gonna go tell Dan that it's not gonna happen. (They kiss and as she starts to leave, Chandler starts to dance. Without turning around.) Don't do the dance.
CHAN: Yeah, it's annoying, isn't it?
DR. BURKE: No no, it, it's fine, believe me. I do it too. I always answer with the 'I'm OK' head bob. [demonstrates] 'I'm OK.' [tilts head] 'You sure?' [bobs head] 'Yeah, I'm fine.' Hey listen, I've got to set up the music. I got a new CD changer, of course the divorce only left me with 4 CD's to change.
Monica: (looking through the peephole) It's Danny.
ROSS: Sweetie, it's be gonna okay, all right. It's a wedding, generally people focus on the bride.
Ross: Whoa, whoa, whoa. You looked at her. You never look. You just answer, it's just a reflex. Do I look fat? Nooo! Is she prettier than I am? Noo! Does size matter?
Joey: (to a guy) Bijan for men? (to a guy) Bijan for men? (To a woman) Bijan for... (Sees it's a woman and stops.) (To Annabelle who walks up.) Hey, Annabelle, Uh, listen, I was wondering if maybe after work you and I could go maybe grab a cup of coffee.
Chandler: Oh! It's on! It's on!
Joey: It's 4:30.
Ross: Oh no-no-no, it's my pleasure.
Carol: So don't do it, it's fine. You don't have to do it just because Susan does it.
Monica: Of course not. I mean gosh, Chandler what you did, it's, it's a wonderful thing and I really appreciate it. I know I have this weird thing where I want everything to be in the perfect place, but I'd never expect you to worry about that.
Sandy: That's great! (He gets emotional again and waves his hand in front of his face in a feminine way, like trying to dry his tears) I'm sorry. It's just... such an emotional thing when you're welcomed into a new family...
Phoebe: It's okay. How's the soup?
Joey: (To Ross in the kitchen) All right, it's another commercial; I still haven't told her!
Ross: It's, uh... it's endearing, really.
Phoebe: (shocked) Oh, well, it's a shame that you-that you miss the movie 'cause we were gonna see, you know, either "Liar, Liar" or "Betrayal", or... "An Affair To Remember".
Monica: (On phone) Hi, Nancy. Hi, it's Monica Geller. I'm good. Listen, I'm looking for a job in Tulsa. Well yeah, my husband has been relocated...Because I love him! No, I don't want a job in New York. Javo (sp?) is looking? Oh my God! He asked for me personally? Oh my God! Oh, wow, this is really flattering, but I'm moving to Tulsa. Yeah, so if you would tell Javo (sp?) 'I'll take it!'
Cheryl: It's me!
Rachel: Yeah, you know, was I looking forward to going to Paris? Sure. You know, was I excited about working in the fashion capital of the world? Ooh, absolutely... Oh...! Yeah, but you know, this is... it's fine. I'm fine going back to a job where I've pretty much gotten everything out of that I possibly can... (she sits down, and Ross who is stunned to hear all this follows her example)
Cheryl: Wait! No! No! It's my hamster! It's Mitzi!
(There's a knock on the door and it's Paul.)
Rachel: Okay, honey, what he means by that, is ...while this is a very nice gift, maybe it's just not something a boyfriend gives?
Monica: I think it's a great idea. Yeah, we could have a dinner party and just invite her close friends.
Rachel: And also, you know I uh, I was thinking about what you said, you know, about the whole sex thing and... it's probably not a great idea to go down that road again.
Joey: It's easy, you just walk in on them having sex.
MONICA: So, I'll get candles and my mom's lace tablecloth, and since it's Rachel's birthday, I mean, we want it to be special, I thought I'd poach a salmon.
Joey: It's a name, yeah. I saw you, you know, in this great house with a big pool.
Phoebe: I know it's so exciting! You know I've never lived with a guy before.
Phoebe: See? And you don't care if people are staring, it's just for a second cause then you're gone!
Phoebe: You know, did you ride mopeds? 'Cause I've heard... (they stare at her)... oh, I see... it's not about that right now. OK.
Rachel: Joey, come on! It doesn't matter, you know, it's not like anything's gonna happen.
[Suddenly the door opens and Ross's mystery girl enters. I'll give you a hint to who it is: OH .MY .GAWD!! Uh-huh, it's Janice.]
The Bass Barber: It's nice to have a boyfriend.
Joey: (approaches, wearing his glasses) Hey you guys, check it out. Check it out. (Moves his hand towards and away from his face.) It's like it's coming right at me. (Chandler helps out a little bit by pushing on Joey's arm, which causes his hand to slap him in his face.)
CHANDLER: Well, it's sharp, it's metal, I think I can do some, you know, serious damage with it.
LIPSON: I'm sorry. Look, I know this can't bring him back but here, it's just a gesture.
Phoebe: Umm, no, it's a purse. And there's a thermos in it.
Phoebe: It's a tarantula! (Joey almost falls down from his drum-stool jumping up) Oh! God! Rachel, look, I'm sorry. What was I thinking giving Joey this big, gross, scary spider in such a poorly constructed cage?
Monica: She's this girl who used to live in the building before you did. Then she moved to England and she picked up this fake British accent. On the machine this is her message. (she apes Amanda using an awful British accent) "Monica, darling! It's Amanda calling!"
Monica: No, he'll be fine. It's the other five I'm worried about.
Chandler: (Slightly panicky) Yeah, but what if it's not? What if there is a reason why we can't have a baby?
RACHEL: But I do not want to have everything decided for me. I spent my whole life like that. It's what I had with Barry, that was one of the reasons I left. I, I like not knowing right now and I'm sorry if that scares you but if you want to be with me you are gonna have to deal with that.
Joey: You know what, you guys? It's their first time, why don't we just forget about the money, alright?
Rachel: C'mon Daddy, listen to me! It's like, it's like, all of my life, everyone has always told me, 'You're a shoe! You're a shoe, you're a shoe, you're a shoe!'. And today I just stopped and I said, 'What if I don't wanna be a shoe? What if I wanna be a- a purse, y'know? Or a- or a hat! No, I'm not saying I want you to buy me a hat, I'm saying I am a ha- It's a metaphor, Daddy!
Rachel: Well actually thanks, but I think I'm just gonna hang out here tonight. It's been kinda a long day.
Joey: (Looking inside the fridge, and we only see his back. Then he closes the door, and we see it's Joey.) Hi sweetie!
Chandler: I am, I actually am. I mean this is amazing. My entire life I have feared this place, and now that I'm here it's like what was the big deal. I could probably say 'Let's move in together.' and I'd be okay.
Phoebe: Dead. (everyone is a bit upset) Oh, it's OK, no, he was old, yeah! And he lived a full life, he was in the first wave at Omaha Beach.
Joey: Sure it is! She needs a pen for work, she's writing, she turns it over.... "Whoa! It's time for my date with Joey!"
Ross: Try sixty-five million years ago, and then try sssshhhhhh.... My tenure review board met today and I hear it's looking really good.
Joey: Yeah. Whew, it's hot with all of this stuff on. I ah, I better not do any, I don't know, lunges. (starts doing lunges)
Ross: (to Chandler) It's her first day at this new job. Your not supposed to start with her!
Joey: Well, that's gonna be tough Mon. I mean it's hard for me to be around an attractive woman and not flirt.
Joey: No, no, it's not a girl, it's... a brand new Hugsy!
Rachel: So if you think I didn't say goodbye to you because you don't mean as much to me as everybody else, you're wrong. It's because you mean more to me.
Gary: Hey, it's okay. It was just a car backfire. (Joey slowly moves off of Ross.) Hey, look at that! You tried to save your buddy. You see that? You see what he did?
Monica: (to Phoebe) You know it's funny, the last time Paulo was here, my hair was so much shorter and cuter.
Chandler: It's so good I don't know what I've done to deserve it!
Ross: (to Monica) Well, you were right. How can they do this to us, huh? It's Thanksgiving.
Phoebe: (excited) No! It's a great time, come in...! WOW, hi... Oh my gosh! What are you doing here? Are you back from Minsk?
MONICA: Well it wasn't that many guys. I mean, if you consider how many guys there actually are, it's a very small percentage.
Ross: (on phone) Ok, bye. (hangs up) Well, Monica's not coming, it's just gonna be me and Rachel.
Chandler: (swallowing hard) It's very, very nice. Well, come here. I'm very happy were gonna have all the sex.
Ross: So I'm a pimp huh? It's okay! Look, I know that sometimes I can be a pain in the ass, but you just have to talk to me. Tell me if something is bothering you. Okay? And for my part I will do everything I can to keep my annoying habits just (Does the 'quiet down' maneuver).
Phoebe: Yeah! I mean, I don't know. I was just , I was looking, I was looking in his eyes and I was just thinking: Oh my God! It's David. David's here. He's just, he's so irresistible.
PHOEBE: I just think that this was a really bad sign, ya know. I mean, like the beast at the threshold, you know. It's just like, I have no family left, ya know. I mean except for my grandmother, you know, but let's face it, she's not gonna be around forever, despite what she says. And I have a sister who I've barely spoken to since we like shared a womb. I don't know, this is my real father and I just, I want things to be like just right.
Ross: Oh, great. It's starting to rain, that will make it easy to get a cab.
Joey: Yeah? Well look Ross, you don't have to. Okay? It's not your fault I suck. I mean what kind of an actor can't even say, "Hmm, noodle soup." (Nods his head in disgust.)