words in movies
(She starts pushing the power button on the remote, but it's not facing the TV so it doesn't work.)
Joey: I mean, it's not so much an underpant as it is a feat of engineering. I mean, it's amazing how much they can do with so little material! And the way they play with your mind! Is it there? Is it not there?
Ross: I'm sorry. It's just that this is the worse Thanksgiving ever.
Chandler: It's a tradition, like the parade. If the parade decided it was gay, moved out, and abandoned its entire family.
Phoebe: Oh no, I know! I know! It's the one where Joey got Monica's turkey stuck on his head!
Joey: Hey, it's not like it sounds.
Chandler: It's exactly like it sounds.
Joey: I know! It's stuck!!!
Joey: It's Joey.
Phoebe: No, it's not supposed to be funny, it's supposed to be scary.
(They all start thinking. Joey starts rubbing his chin, of course his chin is currently inside the turkey so he ends up rubbing the turkey. And I didn't do that joke one bit of justice. It's one of those you have to see it to get it jokes.)
(He brought home Chandler for Thanksgiving. Chandler is sporting the very popular Flock of Seagulls haircut. Yeah, it's another you have to see it to believe it kinda thing.)
Big Nosed Rachel: Oh totally, totally. Y'know it's not that big of deal, we already kinda did it once y'know.
Ross: All right, it's cool you can stay here. My parents won't mind.
Chandler: No, it's not that, I just don't want to be stuck here all night with your fat sister.
(She opens the door to reveal Chandler and Ross. Unfortunately, they seem to have their holidays mixed up. They think it's Halloween and they're going as Crockett and Tubbs from that legendary TV show of the late 80's, Miami Vice. God, we looked silly back then!)
Mrs. Geller: Yes, yes Monica is thin. It's wonderful. But what we really want to hear about is Ross's new girlfriend.
Monica: Oh yeah, of course. I'm fine it's just that(She drops the box and in a reflex action tries to catch it with her arm, the knife slips out and slowly flips through the air and comes point first down into Chandler's shoe.)
The Doctor: It's too late, all we can do now is sow up the wound.
Chandler: Yeah, well, I miss the tip! It's the best part. It has the nail. (He storms out.)
Ross: Again, it's not that he
Phoebe: Tell him it's for you.
Monica: It's gonna be a problem, isn't it?
Monica: (Panicking) Okay, umm, okay, umm (Rachel opens the door.) It's just Joey and Ross.
Phoebe: Yeah, it's Y'know there'sno you may not!
Emily: I don't know, it's just
Rachel: I know, isn't he great? It's so nice to finally be in a fun relationship, y'know? There's nothing boring about him, and ah, I bet he's never set foot in a museum.
Rachel: I can't watch. It's like firing Elmo. (Ross walks to the couch where Sandy sits)
Phoebe: Ooh, it's not a toy.
Ross: (calling from Elizabeth's bathroom) Joey, it's Ross! I need some help!
Ross: It's not that easy, there's still a lot of relationship stuff.
Joey: But it's dark out.
Rachel: It's Le Poo.
Rachel: Yeah, I know. It's ridiculous! I can't see you either.
Rachel: Oh my God, its happening. It's already started. I'm Kip.
Rachel: Yeah, it's in there. (Points to the bathroom.)
CHANDLER: Oh hey listen, don't be mad at him, it's our fault. I'm sorry we've been hoggin so much of his time.
Monica: I know, it's great!
Joey's Doctor: It's kidney stones.
Joey: I kinda feel like it's my fault.
Chandler: Well, I think it's very brave what you said.
Josh: Well, it's getting late, I've got to get to the game, so I'm gonna... head.
Rachel: Okay. Okay. Joey, it's okay. Settle down.
Chandler: Honey, it's us. Of course it's the shovel-killer.
Joey: I think it's going okay. Looks like he's smiling.
Phoebe: It's okay to laugh right?
Chandler: So, it's a typical day at work. I'm inputting my numbers, and big Al calls me into his office and tells me he wants to make me processing supervisor.
Ross: (on the phone) No-no-no, it's just a bit sudden. (Listens) No, it's great. Okay? I'm totally on board. I love you too, all righty. Bye. (Hangs up.)
Chandler: Monica, I want a baby too, but this woman is giving away her child. She deserves to know who it's going to. Monica: (realizes Chandler is right. She's almost crying) okay, right. (They hug)
Joey: Oh, it's perfect!
Doctor: I can't believe you didn't know it's twins! This has never happened before.
Chandler: Ross, it's just a sandwich!
PHOEBE: I'm sorry, Monica, I'm really happy you got promoted, but cold cucumber mush for thirty-something bucks? No! Rachel just had that, that, that salad, and, and Joey with his like teeny pizza! It's just...
Ross: I don't know. It's going to be weird not having a job for a while, but I, I definitely don't care about my sandwich.
Ross: Who needs a lease when it's family!
Joey: No! I am not a pervert! Okay? It's just I just Kinda
Monica: Yes it's true.
Monica: I just wanted to see how it's going.
Phoebe: Well, it's going okay.
Rachel: Umm, well I would have to say that it's a, it's tragic love story.
Joey: It's not.
David: Well, just for a couple of days, uhm... I'm here to explain to the people who gave us our grant, why it's a positive thing that we spent all their money and uhm... accomplished uhm... nothing.
Chandler: Well, Joey, I wrote a little song today. It's called: Get Up.
Chandler: I know, it's beautiful. Amazing.
RACH: Hey, I was doin' great before I found out about you. You think it's easy for me to see you with Julie?
Joey: (Reading the scene set up.) Okay, it's a typical New York City apartment. Two girls are just hanging out.
JOEY: Great, well, I'm happy for ya. [picks up the orange juice carton and it's empty] Alright that's it. He just comes in here, Mr. Jonny Neweggs, with his, his, his movin' the mail and his, his 'see ya pals'. And now there's no juice. There's no juice f or the people who need the juice and want the juice. I need the juice.
JOEY: Wow, look at that. The car is on fire, yet somehow it's expensive paint job is protected by the Miracle Wax.
Monica: It's okay! It's good! It's good. It's a disease!
Max: Minsk. It's in Russia.
TERRY: Rachel, it's not that your friend is bad, it's that she's so bad, she makes me want to put my finger through my eye into my brain and swirl it around.
Monica: Look look! It's Rachel and Barry. No, don't everybody look at once!
Chandler: Yes. It's very difficult to appreciate a Thanksgiving dinner once you've seen it in reverse.
MONICA: Ok everybody, it's time for flan.
Steve: It's really fulfilling doing something you hate for no money. That's right. I have no money, I'm not funny, I live in a studio apartment with two other guys, and I'm pretty sure I'm infertile.
Joey: Y'know what? Make fun all you want. This is a great bag! Okay? And it's as handy as it is becoming. Now, just because you don't understand something, doesn't make it wrong. All right? So from now on you guys are gonna have to get used to the fact that Joey, (pats the bag) comes with a bag! (Exits.)
JADE: Hello, I'm looking for Bob. This is Jane. I don't know if you're still at this number, but I was just thinking about us, and how great it was, and, well, I know it's been three years, but, I was kinda hoping we could hook up again. I barely had t he nerve to make this call, so you know what I did?
Monica: No, look, she's obviously unstable, okay? I mean she's thinking about running out on her wedding day. (Rachel slowly turns and glares at her.) (Realizing what she just said.) Okay, fine! But I mean, look at the position she's putting him in! What's he gonna do? Ross is gonna run over there on the wedding day and break up the marriage?! I mean, who would do that?! (Rachel again turns and glares at her in disgust.) Okay, fine, all right, but that's y'know, it's different! Although it did involve a lot of the same people.
Joey: Oh well, Chandler and Monica are over there and it's kinda hard to concentrate.
Monica: It's so good, isn't it?
Rachel: It's not a purse! It's a shoulder bag.
Phoebe: It's Phoebe.
Ross: It's from Ross, it's a love bug.
Rachel: Hey, don't listen to them. I think it's sexy.
Ross: I was up all night writing this really nasty letter to Emily! It was perfect and now it's all covered in-in (The duck quacks.) Actually, thanks!
Joey: Whoa, dude, look out! You almost crushed my hat! (He picks a hat up from the floor. It's one of those magician stovepipe hats.)
Joey: Well, first it's not a purse.
Chandler: It's okay, you don't have to be the best at everything.
Frank Sr.: Oh. Huh. It's huh, well it's (opens it) oh it'sew used. Umm, cool.
Phoebe: It's so obvious, why doesn't he just ask?
Monica: Y'know, Joey, I think it's time to give up the bag.
Rachel: Phoebe!! Phoebe!! It's okay!! It's okay!!
Phoebe: (playing guitar and singing) And there's a country called Argentinaaaa, it's a place I've never seeeeen. But I'm told for fifty pesos you can buy a human spleen. Humaaan spleeeeen. Olè!
Chandler: (on phone) Hey Mr. Kostelic! How's life on the fifteenth floor? (Listens) Yeah, I miss you too. (Listens) Yeah, it's a lot less satisfying to steal pens from your own home, you know? (Listens) Well, that's very generous (Listens) er, but look, this isn't about the money. I need something that's more than a job. I need something I can really care about.... (Listens) And that's on top of the yearly bonus structure you mentioned earlier? (Listens) Look, Al, Al... I'm not playing hardball here, OK? This is not a negotiation, this is a rejection! (Listens) No! No! No, stop saying numbers! I'm telling you, you've got the wrong guy! You've got the wrong guy! (Listens) I'll see you on Monday! (slams the phone down)
Chandler: Phoebe, it's me. You can tell me anything.
Joey: It's not my first time.
Ross: (very interested) Oh! like what?! (Charlie looks at him confused, but smiling) Oh I'm sorry, I don't mean to pry... it's just that this must be what regular people experience when they watch "Access Hollywood".
Young Ethan: Well it's somewhere in between. You see, in a strictly technical sense, of course, I'm not uh..., well I, I mean I haven't ever uh...
Fun Bobby: It's gonna be an open casket, y'know, so at least I'll- I get to see him again.
Ross: No-no, it's not that, it's just I-I just moved in.
Monica: I'm sorry it's just, Phoebe just always thought you were, you were charming in a, in a sexless kind of way.
Rachel: Uhhh, yeah. But it's not obvious why.
ROSS: Hello. Oh hi, are you on your way ove-. Oh. No, no, I, I understand, I mean a monkey's gotta work. No it, it's no big deal, it' not like I uh, had anything special planned. Yeah OK, OK. OK, OK, bye.
Chandler: Where's Monica?! Where is she? I need to talk to her! It's urgent! Is she here?
ROSS: No, no, she's great and it's not like we haven't done anything. I mean, uh, uh, we, we do plenty of other stuff, lot's of other stuff, like uhh. . .
Rachel: They wanna know if I'm okay. Okay.. they wanna know if I'm okay, okay, let's see. Well, let's see, the FICA guys took all my money, everyone I know is either getting married, or getting promoted, or getting pregnant, and I'm getting coffee! And it's not even for me! So if that sounds like I'm okay, okay, then you can tell them I'm okay, okay?
PHOEBE: Yeah, it's just so strange. I mean, she probably woke up today and thought, "ok, I'll have some breakfast, and then I'll take a little walk, and then I'll have my massage." Little did she know God was thinking, "Ok, but that's it." Oh, but the weirdest thing was, ok, I was cleansing her aura when she died, and when the spirit left her body, I don't think it went very far.
Doctor: Yeah, it's here in the paperwork we got from the clinic in Ohio.
[Cut to Ross's apartment. Ross and Rachel are there. It's another scene from 1016 TOW Rachel's Going Away Party.]
Rachel: Yeah. Yeah. Oh, but once you find it, ohh it's so worth the wait.
Phoebe: Yes. Once. Yeah, a little. He kinda did it to himself. It's not really a good story.
Chandler: Okay, yeah, I think it's really stuck now.
Joey: (To Rachel) Well look, hey, it's all your fault!
Gary: Okay, so it's a date.
[Scene: Central Perk, I'm sure you've guessed, it's the famous fight scene between Ross and Rachel.]
Joey: Hey, it's a lot harder than it looks! Okay? (Quietly) She-she-she's hurting me.
The Saleswoman: You wanna return this couch? (Ross nods yes.) It's cut in half!
Rachel: Oh my God, it's so huge, but you just have to promise me that you cannot tell anyone.
Dr. Ledbetter: I must say it's nice to see you back on your feet.
Monica: What? It's still going on.