words in movies
(Onstage theres a knock on the door and Kathy opens it. We dont see whats going on, only hear it.)
Chandler: Is it just me, or can you actually see his abs through his overcoat?!
Kathy: If you want it to be.
Phoebe: Well, its just that maternity clothes are so expensive.
Monica: Hey, Rach! I made a pile of your stuff over on this side of the room. If you could just (Rachel grunts and throws her purse at it) throw your purses at it.
Chandler: Yeah, its like someone literally wrote down my worst nightmare and then charged me $32 to see it!
Chandler: Im totally screwed. Okay, they are gonna be hot and heavy on stage every night, and then theyre gonna go to their cast parties and hes gonna try to undermine me. Y'know itll be like, "So wheres your boyfriend, whats-his-name, Chester?" And shell go, "No-no-no, its Chandler." And hell go, "Whatever. Ha-ha-ha-ha!"
Joey: Chandler, look theyre actors. Theyre there to do a job, just cause they work together, doesnt mean theyre gonna get together. I mean just cause it happened with Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins, it doesnt mean its gonna happen with them.
Joey: Okay look, look, let me ask you a question, when they were doing it on stage, was it like really hot?
Joey: Well okay, so then youre fine. The rule is when two actors are actually doing it off-stage all the sexual tension between them is gone. Okay? So as long as its hot onstage you got nothing to worry about. Its when the heat goes away, thats when youre in trouble.
Monica: (laughs) Please, its a relief is what it is, is what it is.
Phoebe: Oh. (Joey flips the pancake and Phoebe catches it and throws it on her plate.)
Rachel: (on the phone) Monica, Im quitting! I just helped an 81 year old woman put on a thong and she didnt even buy it! (Pause) Im telling you Im quitting! Thats it! Im talking to my boss right now! (Pause) Yes I am! (Pause) Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Okay bye, call me when you get this message. (Hangs up as her boss, Mr. Waltham, walks in.) Oh! Mr. Waltham, I ah really need to talk to you.
(Its a really good-looking man, Joshua, that Rachel has an instant crush on. Well actually its Tate Donovan, so its not like shes really testing her acting skills.)
Joshua: Yeah, but it wasnt much fun dropping it off at the dry cleaners in the skirt. (Rachel laughs) So I need everything down to underwear, so if youre willing, Im all yours.
Rachel: Oh-oh, sorry, its this way, its this way. (Motions to the correct way.)
Joshua: Its this way? Sorry. (He walks past her and she again admires his butt.)
Chandler: Come on, it was like cousins having sex up there!
Kathy: Hi! (Kisses Chandler) Thank you so much for coming again. Did you like it tonight?
Kathy: Its a good play, isnt it?
Chandler: Oh come on, it was so obvious! There was no chemistry between you two!
Rachel: Oh, I wish he was a doll, then I could get a Rachel doll and bump them together and make kissy noises. Oh! And he has the most beautiful name, I never realised it, Joshua! Josh-u-a! Joshua! Josh.
Joey: I dont know, it smells good.
Monica: Yeah, its just something I picked up.
Rachel: Well, it was just something Josh said about v-necks, but you had to be there.
Rachel: Its Joshua.
Phoebe: Yeah, I dont need it.
Monica: All right then, when Im done with this place, its gonna be ten times better than that place!
Chandler: I confronted her, and she didnt deny it! (Pause) I dont live here! (Goes back into his apartment and they all follow him.)
Monica: Nah, I got it.
Rachel: So I was with Joshua for an hour today, and he has not asked me out. Its just so frustrating!
Rachel: Really? It doesnt seem desperate?
Phoebe: Thousands of times!! That doesnt make me sound too good does it?
Rachel: I dont even know how I would go about it.
Joey: Oh-oh-oh-oh, how I do it is, I look a woman up and down and say, "Hey, how you doin?"
Rachel: You know what, Im gonna do that, Im gonna call him up, and Im gonna ask him out. I can do that. Ask him out. (Practising) How you doin? (Calls him) Hi! Joshua? Its Rachel Green from Bloomingdales. (Listens) Yeah, umm, I was wondering if you umm, if you umm, left your wallet at the store today? Well, we found a wallet, and we(Listens) the license? Well, that is a good idea! Uh, well, lets see here this says this license belongs to a uh, uh, belongs to a mister uh, Pheebs, and umm, yeah, so sorry to bother you at home. Ill see you tomorrow. Bye. (Hangs up) (to Phoebe) Youve done that a thousand times?
Joey: Absolutely! And if it doesnt, can I get the extra ticket?
Rachel: Yep. Oh, yeah, look you great. (She puts her arm in his and checks how they would look as a couple.) Oh yeah. Yeah, this looks great. (Pause) Umm, so you like it?
Joshua: I do. I do. I love it. In fact, I think Im gonna wear it home.
Joshua: Well, I guess this is uh, I guess this is it.
Rachel: He didnt turn me down! Hes at the game isnt he? I got the date, Im just not on it!
Monica: (entering) Okay, its ready. Come on.
(She has cleaned it, completely redecorated it, removed the carpet, and polished the floor.)
Joey: I dont know, it looks the same.
Joey: Howd it go?
Rachel: Honey, this is not your fault, just because you guys had a fight, it does not justify her sleeping with someone.
Joey: Man, I remember the first time I saw that girl Katherine, after we broke up. She was just walking with her friend Donna, just laughing and talking. God, it killed me.
Joey: Well, we only had samboucha, so it is now.
Joey: Theres this woman, that I like. A lot. Well, its complicated. Shes with this other guy. For a long time. And I could never do that to the guy, yknow? Ccause were really good friends.
Pete: Okay, thats great, but can we make it smaller? Can we make it fit on the head of a pin? I love when we make things fit on the head of a pin.
CHANDLER: Yeah, I mean, it would be rude to them for us to leave now.
Rachel: (angrily) BACK OFF!!! (She starts banging on their door.) Get up! Get up! Get up! God damn it! Get up, get up, get up, get up, get up!!
Joey: Its the chick! Shes going through some changes.
Mark: Actually, its kinda my fault. I-I quit today.
Ross: (to Monica) You like it right?
Monica: What-what was it you were gonna tell us?
Joey: I got you something! Open it! Open it!
Joey: Its cute, huh?
Ross: We were all pretty shaken up about it.
Joey: Well yeah, dont-dont you think its a she?
Joey: Ok all right, no, no, no, no, I do, I do, I do, I need your help, but Chandler I don�t know if I can take anymoreplucking. It hurts so bad!
Joey: Ohhh, here it comes.
Rachel: Yeah, there was. It wasthere the corner of the library where-where all these dusty books that nobody ever readYes, there was.
Janice: Yeah, well, it scares me! I mean I not even divorced yet, Chandler. You know, you just invited me over here for pasta, and all of the sudden you're talking about moving in together. And, and I wasn't even that hungry. You know what, it's getting a little late, and I-I should just, um...(starts to leave)
Rachel: I cant believe Mark didnt call. Its Sunday night, and he didnt call.
Joey: Why? Is it because I'm friends with Phoebe?
(Ross takes a twenty and slips it underneath the bill when Dr. Green isnt looking.)
Rachel: Okay, just sweep it.
(Of course its too late for that.)
Phoebe: Isnt it cool! Varoom! Varoom!
Phoebe: (entering from her room) Hey, did she buy it?
Rachel: Okay, now make it even, cause we dont...
Rachel: Blow it.
Monica: Does it have to do with Joey?
Rachel: Stop it! Cut it out! Cut it out!
Phoebe: Oh, just go. Youre never gonna get it!
Monica: What is it?! What about Pete?
Joey: Hey! (starts to laugh.) Hows it going?
Chandler: Thanks, Im glad you see it that way.
Pete: So you like it?
Monica: Oh, it is sooo perfect. Thank you so much. (runs over and hugs him)
Chandler: Oh no thats okay, you're totally right. I don't know anything about disciplining a child. But it did hurt my feelings and I want you to know that when I die, you don't get Joey.
Frank: Its so cool man, its so, its just cause being with her is so much better than like not being with her.
Ross: Oh, it was, nah, well....
Joey: No! I want an award I did win! But nobodys giving me any of those! PlusHey Rach, if-if I put it up there (Points to the TV) right? When people come over theyll see it and theyll think I won it.
Ross: Yknow, its interesting! Most people think thats made with seawater, when in fact
Monica: Does it involve clogs?
Phoebe: Oh, its so great to see you feeling like this!
Rachel: Okay. Hang up! Thats it! Come on!
Phoebe: (to Robert) Youve have lipstick right here (points to her cheek). Thats okay, its mine, we just kissed.
Joey: Two it is. Ross, how about you?
Ross: Uh, no, its-its just this person.
Monica: I just tell her, I have to get it over with. I told Ross and Phoebe and shes the only one left!
(In horror, Joey wipes his neck and smells it.)
Chandler: Okay! (He grabs his carryon and starts rummaging through it.) Oh man! Dont tell me I did this!
Monica: But, I put some honey in it.
Chandler: Okay. I just wanted them to hear it from somebody else.
Ross: So its looks like were the first ones here.
Phoebe: Well alright, looks like you guys have got it under control so Im just gonna go. (She gets up and Rachel looks at her, upset, and Monica just stares.) No! Really? Misery really does love company. All right! (She sits back down.)
Chandler: Okay. (to Monica) Its a racecar.
Joey: Im on it! (Takes a bite out of the sandwich.)
Chandler: Could I borrow it?
CHANDLER: Ok, there is one more way to say it, who knows it?
Monica: Joey, what are you doing?! Its never gonna happen, shes seeing somebody.
PHOEBE: Hi, um, I just thought that it would be fun if the three of us had some beers and got to know each other.
Rachel: What time is it?
Phoebe: Would you relax? I know what I am doing. This is how he wears it.
Ross: Okay, its coffee.
Ross: Its-its hot
Tommy: Ice coffee? Tell me its ice coffee!
Joey: (surprised its Lauren) (hugs her) (whispering) Wheres Kate?
Rachel: But I couldnt even if I wanted to, because I dont know! I swear; I didnt see anything, and I dont want to know! It was just a momentary lapse.
Phoebe: Youre the cook! With out you its just me driving up to peoples houses with empty trays and asking for money!
(An old West style showdown starts with Joey and the Hombre Man staring each other down as the store guy slowly lets in the first customer while Joey and the Hombre Man get ready to draw. In slow motion they spot the customer, eye each other, draw, and as the customer walks into the middle Joey's bottle misfires but the Hombre Man spays it into the customer's eyes.)
Ross: No, but its-its-its hot!
(Joey enters with Monica's paper and hands it to her.)
Rachel: Ross, would you just stop it! Its getting really old.
Monica: Im just saying its been a really long time for you. I mean, women have needs. Do it, get yours!
Ross: (He thinks about it) Of course I am. I just have to make a call.
Lauren: So this is it? Victor?
Chandler: Well, I dont see that we have a choice. But, when were back home, we dont do it.
Monica: Phoebe, its been two days.
Joey: I dont know. Its-its just lately, Ive been feeling Okay, heres what it is (Pause) You know what? I feel a lot better, thanks! (Starts to leave)
All: Hang it up! Hang up the phone!!
Phoebe: Yeah, I know. Oh, good thing its one of those 801 numbers. Right?
Ross: I know, I know I really like you too. But we-we cant date. Its against the rules. Its forbidden.
Joey: (with a disgusted look) What was it?
Chandler: Was it like a sneeze only better?
Marsha: Yes, it is. Carol! Hi!
Rachel: (gasps) Emma! (Looks at the baby and starts to cry.) See? I dont want it.
Chandler: Whoa-heeeiiiiii-iiiii-ah!! (sees it) Huh.
Joey: Well what is it?!
RACHEL: Agh, it was the graduation from hell.
ROSS: Well, there's no way I'm gonna get a shot. Maybe they can take the needle and thquirt it into my mouth, you know, like a thquirt gun.
Chandler: I got it! Scotch tape. (Theyre right.)
Phoebe: Ohh thats so sweet! (Her cell phone rings.) Oh! Hang on! (Quickly grabs a cigarette and starts to light it as her phone rings.) Hang onnnnnn!!! (Gets the cigarette lighted and answers the phone.) (On phone.) Go!! No! No-no! I said sell when it hits 50! 5-0, its a number! It comes after 4-9!! No, its okay. Its okay, youre allowed one mistake. Just kidding, you are of course fired.
Joanna: Great! Im looking forward to it. Rachel, any messages?
Ross: Look, even if I were gonna tell her, I don't have to do it now. Okay? I'll be seeing her again. We've got time.
Ross: Well then, what is it?!
Phoebe: Well, it just, it doesn't feel like playing anymore, it feels like work. It's like I'm working in the field.
Chandler: I could perform an operation on you and prove it if you'd like.
Phoebe: So go fix it! Go find Chandler! He's probably up in your room! Tell him that you're sorry and that you love him.
Monica: All right. (Looking through a box.) Op, here it is! Right underneath the can of-of bug bomb. I wonder if the best place to put something that cooks food is underneath the can of poison?
Monica: Anyway, how did it go with Kate?
Chandler: Dehydrated Japanese noodles under fluorescent lights... does it get better than this?
SUSIE: It's nice to see you're not still wearing that denim cap with all the little mirrors on it.