words in movies
(Chandler picks up the timer being used and turns it to zero at which it chimes.)
Monica: Y'know, I don't like to brag about it, but I give the best massages!
Monica: It's so good, isn't it?
Chandler: It's so good I don't know what I've done to deserve it!
Chandler: I'm telling you, she gives the worst massages ever!! Okay, it was like she was torturing me for information. And I wanted to give it up I justI didn't know what it was!
Joey: Chandler, if it really hurts that bad you should just tell her.
(Chandler picks up a basket from the table and puts it on his head.)
Ross: Hey Pheebs, how's it going?
Monica: (to the guys) Not the way they're doing it. What, what happened? How did she die?
Phoebe: It was really sweet. The last thing she said to me was; "Okay dear, you go get the eggs and I'm gonna get the yogurt and we'll meet at the checkout counter." And y'know what? We will meet at the checkout counter.
Rachel: Okay, it's missing something. Ooh, I know! Umm, okay. (Goes and grabs a bag, that looks like a purse, and shows it to Joey.)
Joey: It looks like a women's purse.
Joey: See look, women, carrying the bag. (He puts it on his shoulder and looks at himself in the mirror and likes what he sees.) But it is odd how a women's purse looks good on me, a man.
Ursula: Who is it?
Ursula: Umm, no. See I already thought she was dead so I kinda made my peace with it. Plus, I'm going to a concert tomorrow. So I'd invite you, but umm, I only have two tickets left.
Joey: What? Are you referring to my man's bag? At first, I thought it just looked good, but it's practical too. Check it out! It's got compartments for all your stuff! Your wallet! Your keys! Your address book!
Rachel: Joey, y'know you get any mustard on that bag, you can't return it.
Joey: Why would I return it? I love this bag!
Chandler: Pulling flowers out it makes the bag look a lot more masculine.
Joey: (approaches, wearing his glasses) Hey you guys, check it out. Check it out. (Moves his hand towards and away from his face.) It's like it's coming right at me. (Chandler helps out a little bit by pushing on Joey's arm, which causes his hand to slap him in his face.)
Joey: Y'know what? Make fun all you want. This is a great bag! Okay? And it's as handy as it is becoming. Now, just because you don't understand something, doesn't make it wrong. All right? So from now on you guys are gonna have to get used to the fact that Joey, (pats the bag) comes with a bag! (Exits.)
Phoebe: Y'know it's funny, you'd think I'd be angry. I mean, you'd think I'd wanna rip his tiny little head off. Fortunately, I'm past it.
Phoebe: Oh! Get off!! Ow!! Oh, stop it!! Why?! Why are you doing that to me?!
Phoebe: (seeing the look on Chandler's face) He-he does not like it! He hates it! He's in pain!
The Casting Director: (stopping him) I'm sorry. Could you, could you try it without the purse?
Joey: Yeah, sure. (He takes it off and starts reading.) Well, you must be new here. Maybe we shouldI'm sorry, can I ask you something? (He stops and asks a question.)
Joey: Okay! All right, I'll see ya. (As he's walking off stage.) (Patting the bag.) We got it! We got it!
Chandler: Oh, it would be you! You! Monica! And you'd get all the votes!
Frank Sr.: Oh. Huh. It's huh, well it's (opens it) oh it'sew used. Umm, cool.
Frank Sr.: It really says that?!
Frank Sr.: Well Lilly, when you see Lilly would you give her that, that note? Because I wanted to talk to her at the memorial but, well I pictured her getting mad at me the way you got mad at me and I well, I chickened out. So, uh, I wrote her that note, would you give it to her please?
Frank Sr.: So would it, would it make you feel better if I said I was very, very sorry that I left?
Phoebe: Y'know what, it doesnt matter what you say it's not gonna make a difference anyway, so you can just go.
Frank Sr.: Yes. Yes it is. I burned the formula and I put your diapers on backwards. I mean, I made up a song to sing you to sleep, but that made you cry even more!
Frank Sr.: Well no, just-just that one. But, it was stupid. Let's see, how did it, how did it go. Umm. (Singing.)
Joey: Estelle said I didn't get it. (Sits down next to Rachel on the couch.)
Rachel: What?! Why? Joey you were so ready for it!
Joey: Y'know what? It was a stupid play anyway!
Rachel: Honey wait, Joey, Im sorry I mean as terrific as I think you are with it (Looks for help.)
Ross: What? No! No! I am not gonna hide it from PhoebeOoh, although I did get some great Pottery Barn sheets! (Gets them.)
Ross: Hi. (They shake hands.) Its nice to meet you. I used to have a friend named Joey. I dont anymore.
Emily: I think it makes you look really dangerous.
Mr. Geller: (To Ross) Screw it! Im having one. (Takes out and lights a cigarette.)
Rachel: Ohhhhh. Thats how it got fixed!
Chandler: Thats awesome! Thats great! What made you do it?!
Rachel: Well, its a long story, but umm I broke Joeys chair
Phoebe: Umm, look it, you-you cant kill yourself.
Phoebe: No-no I cant! I cant let you do it!
Phoebe: I can smell it a little, bake the pie.
Earl: It doesnt really seem like enough to be fate.
Chandler: (To Monica) Its a nickname, Ill explain later.
Earl: (inspecting it) Really?
Phoebe: Well, yknow Im wearing layers and its warm.
Mr. Geller: Its the key to my Porsche. Well, the key to your Porsche.
Chandler: Yes, if it really doesnt mean anything, because you know that Im just not ready
Ross: All right. I think it was a mouse.
Monica: (opening it) Whats this?
Phoebe: No, its fate!
Rachel: Oh yeah, Joey broke it. Had to get rid of it.
(They hear Monica trying to unlock the door. So Phoebe quickly pushes his head down onto the table to make it look like the turkey is just sitting on a platter and not stuck on Joey's head.)
Monica: Its your birthday!
Phoebe: Eww! Oh, its all dirty. You should throw this out.
Chandler: No Rach, its not just you. My thirtieth birthday certainly wasnt that much fun.
Rachel: Well, what is a boss for? Hug it out! (They hug)
Joey: I'm sorry! (He stands up) This never happened to me before! I'm an expert at taking off bras! I can do it with one hand! I can do it with my eyes closed! One time I just looked at one, and it popped open! I blame your bra!
RTST: Oh, some, that's fine. Some is fine. Some is not a lot. So, it doesn't burn when you pee, does it?
Earl: I thought it was toner.
All: Come on Phoebe! You can do it Phoebe! Come on!
(Phoebe throws another jab, and lands it on Joeys nose, causing it to bleed.)
The Woman: Hi! Im sorry, I know its after hours but I really need candy.
Frank: Cause it just sorta happened, yknow we were at the courthouse, we were having lunch
Phoebe: Yeah, otherwise, I mean thats, thats, thats just it for us hanging out together. Y'know is that what you want? (they both look away) Can you be civil?
Joey: So yknow Ross its funny cause, you look familiar to me too. Have you ever been married?
Rachel: (handing him the letter) Its just some things Ive been thinking about. Some things about us, and before we can even think about the two of us getting back together, I just need to know how you feel about this stuff.
Rachel: I have so got it. Theres gonna be rumours about this, theres no way to stop it. Sophie knows, Monica and Phoebe know.
Rachel: (starting to move closer to him) Thats right, I wanna do it with you! Ive been trying to fight it, but you just said all the right things.
Rachel: Pheebs, this whole apartment thing is just a nightmare! Every place I can afford comes with a roommate who is a freak. I mean, look at this; (Points to one and starts to read it.) "Wanted. Female roommate, non-smoker, non-ugly." Its just, there is nothing! The citys full!
JOEY: Well, I had a whole ceramic zoo thing goin' over there but now, without the other ones, it just looks tacky.
Paul: Dont worry about it, I just didnt realize you were married. (Rachel returns and hears that.)
Joey: But it hurts my Joeys Apple.
Phoebe: Ross, its not that big a deal! So youll been divorced three times, youll still have a life, youll go on dates
Mr. Geller: Its older than that. Ross was actually conceived right near this tuxedo.
Joey: Oh wait, before you tell me what it is! (He plays a drum-roll) Okay, what is it?
Chandler: Yeah, Ill take care of it.
Ross: No-no-no! Its mine! Its-its mine. (The woman walks away.)
Rachel: Well now its an empty bar.
Ursula: Oh, its you.
Chandler: (sounds nervous) Yeah! I... I... I liked it! (Joey continues to look at him suspiciously) But, ehm... my bosses didn't go for it. Stupid sons of bitches!
Phoebe: Wait! (Knocks on the door and Ursula opens it.)
Phoebe: Well, I never knew mine. Do you remember what it is?
Ross: Look, I didn't recognize it without that inflatable sheep.
[Scene: Monicas birthday, its just after the surprise.]
Richard: Uh, no! No! Thats art! If it bothers you I can put my art out.
Rachel: No! No-no, I love it. Thank you. (Kisses him.)
Tag: It wasnt on your list, but hopefully youll think its really fun.
Joey: Uh-huh look, the only reason I can over here was to settle things between us! Okay? Youve done a lot for me and my career, I wanted to pay you back so I took you to the premiere but you missed it! Okay, so how much do I owe you?
Phoebe: Yeah, I should probably take it back. Ooh, but you know what? While I'm at the police station, I could check their Ten Most Wanted lists because my friend Fritzy has been like number 11 forever, so this could be her year! (She crosses her fingers in hope.)
Monica: Well, if you really think about it, I mean four days is not that long. I mean, I see you Monday before you go to work, and I see you Thursday when you get back, and I always work late on Tuesdays, so really if you think about it, it's really just one day. And well, if we can't make it one day, we've got real problems my friend.
Rachel: Joey! It is an auction! You dont guess, you buy!
Monica: Oh, is that why you did it the secret hallway where nobody ever goes?!
Mrs. Geller: Oh-ho, I think its nice.
Joey: Monicas chicken parm! Ill take care of it. (He picks up the phone) Hey Mr. Treeger, its Joey Tribbiani. Listen, I need to get into Monica and Chandlers apartment. Its an emergency. (Listens) Uhh, gas leak! Yeah oh, and bring garlic bread. (Hangs up.)
Joey: Oh, I dont know Pheebs. Itll be okay.
Phoebe: Will it? Will it?! I mean, how would you feel if you found out you were 31?
Phoebe: No, no, no! Don't call her! You wait for her to call you (Joey considers it)
Elizabeth: Its a bathing suit?
Phoebe: Oh, I-I gave them the puppy and it made them so happy that I decided Im gonna carry their baby.
Rachel: Yeah, it is! But youre just a kid! I mean youre 25!
Kristen: Well Joey doesnt like to talk about it but, hes one of the stars of Days Of Our Lives.
Chandler: Hey! Howd it go?
Ross: (starting it) Woohoo!
Ross: (moves closer) All Im saying is, its one thing being prepared for an attack against like each other; whole another story being prepared for an attack, I dont know, like a (turns and puts his face close to Rachels and screams) surprise!!
Phoebe: The donation we made earlier, we k…, we w…, we want it back.
Rachel: Yeah, its just yknow
(Ross shuts it off and they get out.)
Rachel: (crying) Itll be a short one.
Monica: Do you mind telling us what it is?
Ross: Its ridiculous!
Chandler: Dont do it.
Dr. Leedbetter: Now-now calm down. Come look in my office, some of it my still be in the trash.
Monica: (on phone) Uh, Michelle. Yeah, that was me, I-I dialed your number by mistake. (listens) Oh, you're so sweet. Yeah, we were a great couple. I know I really miss him. Well, you know how it is, it's that....
Mrs. Geller: Jack, is it all our fault? Were we bad parents?
Joey: Hey Pheebs! Listen, this wooden box keeps sliding out from under the seat. What-what is it?
Dina: Im going to keep dating him Mother, and theres nothing you can do about it!
Cecilia: Which one? Was it bald or was it tall?
Joey: No. It just seems like Ross is the kind of a guy that would marry a woman on the verge of being a lesbian and then push her over the edge.
Monica: It sounds like its coming from across the street.
Cecilia: (walking up) Youre absolutely right they are writing me out of the show. They dont know exactly when its going to happen, but apparently going to be very soon and thats it.
Rachel: Yeah! You know, ever since I had that dream about him, and can't get it out of my head! And what's the big deal, people do it all the time!
Phoebe: (gasps) You wouldnt! Okay look, Rachel I know you really want to do this, but I-Ive never been maid of honor to anyone before! And I know youve done it at least twice!
Rachel: You just said it!
Phoebe: (tremendously overacting) Fine! Ill do it without you! (Joey gives her thumbs up) I dont need you or anybody else! Im gonna make it on my own! (Joey closes the door to his bedroom.) Youll see!! Youll all see!!
Joey: Y-y-yeah! (As they start to leave, Rachel pauses and steals a vase with flowers in it.) Yeah you do. (They exit.)
Joey: Im so sorry. Look, if it was up to me you would never leave the show.
Joey: Oh it was great. Yeah, you get to say stuff like, Hey, the bell doesnt dismiss you, I dismiss you.
Kate: Yeah! Yeah, it was definitely an improvement. Gnight.
Chandler: Let me tell you why you need to pick me. (Goes to sit on the couch facing backwards to the kitchen. Rachel gets a chair and sits opposite him) See, when I was a kid, I was always left out of everything, you know, and it really made me feel... insecure. You know, I was always picked last in gym. Even behind that big fat exchange student who didn't even know the rules to baseball. I mean, this guy would strike out and then run to third. Anyway, If I'm the only one left out of this wedding, I just know that all those feelings are gonna come rushing back.
Monica: I cant believe her, yknow its justits so typical.
Rachel: What are you talking about, Ross, you just said that you read it twice! Look, y'know what, either it does or it doesnt, and if you have to even think about it...