words in movies
Chandler: There's this thing I really want us to do. I read about it in Maxim...
Rachel: Oh, good, good! We had this idea to make a birthday video for Emma and we'll give it to her when she is 18.
Joey: Yeah, but for a one-year-old. What's the point... the other day she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow and the cow says "El-moo"! (Joey starts laughing) Yeah... that's a funny cup!
Rachel: Look, I know that you guys really want to get to Vermont and this isn't a really big deal to you, but it really is to us, ok? Emma will never have a first birthday again.
(someone knocks on the door. Rachel goes to open it)
Joey: Hey, I think Emma might like it!
Joey: Hey, I do it every week with three cameras pointed at me and a whole crew waiting!
Joey: Uh, why, it’s a... (he picks a book up) one of her favorites, uh, (he reads the title of the book) “Riding the Storm Out. Coping with post-partum depression” eesh! (he puts the book back and picks up another) “Love you forever”. Love you forever. By Robert Munsch. Published by Firefly books. Printed (he pauses and changes the tone to a dramatic one) in Mexico. A mother held her new baby and very slowly rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, and while she held him she sang “I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you’ll be”. (the picture fades and Joey is now finishing the book). And while he rocked her, he sang “I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you’ll be”.
Rachel: Is that it?
Rachel: Ross, um, don’t forget to get a shot of Emma’s cake. It’s in a box in the fridge.
Rachel: Oh, you're gonna love this cake. I got it from a bakery in New Jersey, Corino’s.
Rachel: Well, anyway, they make these great novelty cakes, in all different shapes, and if you give them a photo, they’ll copy it in icing!
Phoebe (sees the cake): oh! Now it’s a party!
Rachel: Why you guys this isn't funny, all right? If I wanted this cake to be a disaster I would have baked it myself!
Joey (staring at the cake): Uh.. is it ok that I still think it looks delicious?
Ross: Ask them if it would be faster if we cut the baby’s face off the penis, so we can put it on the bunny. (pause). That is a weird sentence!
Rachel: Oh! Believe you me! I am going to bring this cake back, I don't even want it in my home... (Turns towards the cake and sees Joey trying to take a piece and yells at him) Joey, don't touch it!!
Ross: Well, you know what? While we're waiting, you guys could tape your message to Emma for her 18th birthday, huh? (takes the camcorder and points it at Monica and Chandler) Ok!
Monica: Ross, Rachel promised it would be over by now. We seriously have to go, if we want to get to Vermont. I called them and the last train leaves in a half hour.
Ross: No, Rachel got pulled over for speeding. She forgot her licence so now I have to bring it to her.
Joey: Got it! (Goes towards the front door and stands with his back to it) Hey hey hey! (to Chandler) Where do you think you're going?
Joey: Well, that one did not have Emma's face on it.
Phoebe: No, it did not.
Jack: Last winter I went up on a church lawn and drove right through a manger scene. The papers thought it was a hate crime.
Judy: Anyway, it was lovely seeing you.
Joey: (Shocked) Oh! Well that's it! He's the last one to go. I'm locking you guys in. (turns the bolts of the door, thereby locking it)
Estelle: (Looks confused) Let me start over. I just got a call about an audition. I think you can still make it. It's down at the Astor Theatre and you need to have a monologue prepared.
Joey: A monologue? I don't have.. (sees the book he was reading before for his "dramatic reading") I got it. (hangs up) (announces to the room) Aah! so... I'm gonna take off!
Joey: Oh! I got it! Ok, everyone pick a number from one to ten. Alright? Whoever gets the highest number gets to go first.
(While Phoebe's bear is still in the lead, it is now closely followed by Joey's robot. Chandler and Monica's dog however, sits down, barking... and does a backflip.)
(She hangs up, closes her phone, turns around and puts it in her bag which is in the back of the car. While doing this and not looking at the road, she turns the steering wheel by accident, which makes the car swerve.)
Ross: Hey, maybe I can fix that, you know. Try to turn it into something else. (he opens the box)
Rachel: (she looks at the cake) Oh my God! Look what... you made it into a bunny. How did you do that?
Phoebe: I just felt so bad, missing this. So I just slipped him a little something, you know. As long as I'm back in five or six hours, it will be alright.
Chandler: Let's do it, come on!
Phoebe: (pointing at cake) Hey, you made it into a bunny.
Joey: What is wrong with me. It looked more delicious when it was a penis.
Rachel: Okay. (they both look into the camera, and Ross waves.) Hi Emma. Well, your first birthday is over, and it was really...
All: Oh, hey, don't do that! Cut it out!
Chandler: Well, stuff like whered we live, yknow? Like a small place outside the city, where our kids could learn to ride their bikes and stuff. Yknow, we could have a cat that had a bell on its collar and we could hear it every time it ran through the little kitty door. Of course, wed have an apartment over the garage where Joey could grow old.
(Suddenly, a strange and familiar voice comes out of the tape player. Heres a hint, OH MY GAWD!! Thats right, its Janice!)
Ross: Its a great class.
Monica: (not buying it) Uh-huh.
Message: "Hi Joey, it's Jane Rogers can't wait for your party tonight" (Joey's upset and stops it)
Rachel: Who wrote it?
Chandler: (entering, with Joey) All right! Lets do it!
Joey: Oh, well think of it like this, when youre 90
Rachel: Careful. Light. Okay, do you know how, just sweep it across the lid. Okay? Just sweep it.
Joey: Yeah, try sticking it in the freezer for 20 minutes. (They all look around and then back at Joey.) Im tellin ya!
Monica: Oh yeah, of course. I'm fine it's just that(She drops the box and in a reflex action tries to catch it with her arm, the knife slips out and slowly flips through the air and comes point first down into Chandler's shoe.)
(He throws it back to Ross, but it's intercepted by Monica and the guys both scream in horror.)
Phoebe: Oh my God! How bad was it?
Rachel: No-no-no! No-no-no! Please Ross, I cant! I cant do it! (Starts to freak out.) Its just gonna freak me out!!!
Monica: Oh well, its not so bad.
Joey: Oh, how bad is it?
Rachel: Fine! Im sorry for your loss! (Hands it back to her.)
(He goes and sits down next to Rachel and puts a cigarette in his mouth, which Rachel takes away from him. He puts another cigarette in his mouth, and Rachel takes it away again.)
Ross: But, Elizabeth and I are-are both adults and so I dont think theres really anything you can do about it.
Rachel: Oh b-b-but it is!
Phoebe: Well no, it was my fault so you should get the nice room.
Rachel: Hey! Hey-hey, now this was no ones fault Pheebs. Okay? It was an accident.
Elizabeth: Yes you did! What was it?
ROSS: Hello. Oh hi, are you on your way ove-. Oh. No, no, I, I understand, I mean a monkey's gotta work. No it, it's no big deal, it' not like I uh, had anything special planned. Yeah OK, OK. OK, OK, bye.
Rachel: I think, if it was a little colder in here I could see your nipples through that sweater.
Phoebe: Yeah I know, it was my candle. My candle!
(The phone rings and Monica answers it.)
Rachel: (taking the phone and hanging it up) Sorry, I thought you were talking to me.
Monica: Hello? (Listens) Oh yes, one minute please. (To Phoebe) Its for you. Its the fire inspector.
Monica: Yep! And lots of it!
Monica: So its okay to date a student.
Joey: You couldnt do it?!
Mrs. Geller: You tell her Jack, I cant do it.
Chandler: I couldnt do it.
Rachel: Oh my God! It sure didnt look this way when I lived here.
Chandler: (breaking up) Well, it just hurts so bad. I uh
Monica: Hey! Hows it goin?
Monica: Yes it has! I made cookies!
Phoebe: What make you think I can?! (Shields her eyes from it.)
Chandler: Yeah, it kinda makes that-that one night special. (Realizes something) Yknow, technically we still are over international waters.
Phoebe: That doesnt lock does it?
Phoebe: Well I guess its okay to open one more if its part of a set. Yknow, its probably this one. (Grabs another small one.)
Joey: No thats all right. Dont worry about it.
Joey: Rach! Hey! Its fine! Youre at Joeys!
PHOEBE: You know, what I think is so great that you are totally into this person and yet for all you know she could be like 90 years old, or have two heads, or. It could be a guy.
Rachel: I love it at Joeys!
Chandler: I know. Can you believe it? One year ago today I was just your annoying friend Chandler.
Rachel: You went shopping?! What, and then you just came in here and paraded it right under Jills nose when you know shes trying to quit. Wow, you guys are terrible!
Elizabeth: For what its worth I did appreciate you standing up for me. It felt really nice. It kinda made me like you even more.
Elizabeth: Stop it! (She starts to get all worked up.)
Elizabeth: Just hearing you describe it as forbidden, its really hot.
Chandler: Its Thursday! How was the audition?!
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's hotel room, Rachel is still trying to get the ink off and Ross is on the phone to the company. Wait a minute, why exactly are they sharing a hotel room? Didn't they like break-up or something? Did I miss a memo? Or maybe, it's just foreshadowing things to come. Who knows? Maybe the answer's at the bottom of the page. Then again, maybe it isn't and it's just one of those things TV writers just don't explain. Anyhoo ]
Chandler: (laughs) She was working on Valentines Day so were celebrating it tonight.
(Camera goes to Joey. The clock is at 20 sec. The word "Legislature" appears. He looks at it blank faced and his eyes shift between Henrietta and his screen)
Monica: Y'know if its any consolation, he really did sound like he was having more fun with you. (Rachel nods in agreement)
Rachel: Oh, its a tattoo! Thats weird, Phoebe doesnt Wait thats Ursula! Thats not Phoebe that is Ursula!
Ross: No, but it is frowned upon.
PHOEBE: Ok, ok, she's taking the trash out so I can get you out of here but it has to be now, she'll be back any minute.
Mr. Geller: Well you gotta get at it princess! When your mother and I were trying to conceive you, whenever she was ovulating, bam, we did it. Thats how I got my bad hip.
Chandler: I'll try, but I'm not sure what good it would do, y'know? Because I'm a lot less afraid of commitment than I used to be.
Phoebe: Look Eric, turn around. (He does so.) Look, I like you, but it shouldnt be this hard. Yknow? This is our first date yknow? First dates are supposed to be about excitement and electricity and Ooh, he just touched my hand, did he mean to touch my hand? and yknow first kisses and (He kisses her) second kisses. (Motions for him to kiss her again which he does and they start to make out.)
Rachel: (mouthing it to him) Yes, you did.
Monica: God, I'm sorry! I'll go back and get it!
Monica: Hey! How did it go with Elizabeth?
Joey: All right, dont waste it, I mean its still food. (He picks it up and eats it.)
Monica: Uh, would you stop it with that already?!
Monica: Oh, it was awful. (To Chandler) I guess some people just don't appreciate really good food.
Joey: Call it even?
Rachel: Because its Richards son! Its like inviting Greek tragedy over for dinner!
Phoebe: Nothing, you just have to be cool with it.
Monica: You al-you already had it?
Joey: Well, with Dr. Drake they always tell me what to say. And with Joey, I pretty much have to make it up on my own.
Joey: (jumping up) All right! But uh, listen, what do you say we crank it up a notch?
Phoebe: Yeah, okay, lets talk it out.
Ross: I-I-I dont even know why I bother to talk to you guys about it. Yknow what? Im just gonna do it on my own with no naked chicks.
Phoebe: Oh I do! (She grabs her huge purse and starts rummaging through it and taking out various items in a futile search for the gum.) Oh, yknow what? No. (Pause) Wait a second. (She removes a bag filled with water that has a goldfish swimming in it.) I know its in here somewhere.
Chandler: Oh, Ross, when you make out card; be sure to make it out to, EM-I-LY.
Rachel: (as she's being dragged) What are you? Monica!! Stop it!! Oh my God! Stop it! (Monica drags her totally onto the floor and on her back.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is coming out of the bathroom after a shower wearing only her bath robe, walks into the kitchen, and opens the fridge. As she bends over to grab a bottle of wine, her robe falls open (Damn this network primetime programming, we didn't see anything!) and she quickly closes it again. But then realizes she didn't have to do that. So she closes the fridge and stands next to the table, thinks about it for a little while and ]
Chandler: So what was it for anyway?
(They start trying to trade babies while holding one each. They have no idea how to do it, so they just shift the babies around in their arms. They give up pretty quickly.)
Joey: Yeah, youre great! Okay, lets take it from
Ross: Umm, its Cutie McPretty.
Ross: Well I-I-I dont care how hot it is its-its uh, its wrong.
Bonnie: I think I brought back half of the beach in my hair. It was so much easier when I used to shave my head.
Joey: Well, its always nice to meet the fans.
Monica: Oh sweetie, you can never embarrass me. (Chandler grunts.) Okay, you can easily embarrass me. But come on, it doesnt matter. All right? I married you! So I want to dance on my wedding night with my husband. Come on. (They go onto the floor.) Just try not to move your feet at all. (Chandler starts to get into the groove and bust a move.) There you go.
Phoebe: No, but it sounds like it was fricken funny...
Rachel: Oh, I probably shouldntso I will! (Joey starts making her refill and Rachel notices that rain thing Joey has.) Oh! Wow! Its like its raining!
Ross: Its your turn.
Chandler: So it did go well.
Joey: Hey, hey... I can convince people to do anything, you know. I bet I can even get Mike to do that "thing". What is it?
Phoebe: Nobody! Nobody respects the bucket! You wouldn't believe what people put in here! Look! (Hands it to Monica.) Okay, does this look like a garbage can to you?
Monica: No, Ill do it. You just stick to your job.
Joey: Yeah-yeah, its down to me and two other guys.
Interviewer: Uh-huh. Is it dirty?
Monica: Oh-oh, no no don't worry, I'm gonna wash it.
Interviewer: Don't, I like it dirty.