words in movies
(They grab the luggage and drag it into Joey and Rachels forcing Monica and Chandler to follow.)
Monica: Yeah, can we go call them? Is it too soon to call? I wanna call.
Monica: It was great! It was great! How about you?! I mean youre having a baby!
Chandler: Ross! Its got your wavy black lines!
Monica: All right, so now that Ross knows can you tell us yknow how it happened? I mean, when did it happen? How many times did it happen?
Rachel: Well it happened about six weeks ago, and uh I had just got home from work and Ross was already there cause I guess he had been hanging out with Joey.
Ross: Yes lets. Yknow what? Uh, its-its not important. What is important is that, is that were having a baby. And its notDoesnt matter who came on to who.
Ross: Yknow what?! It doesnt matter! It doesnt matter what you believe! What matters is what happened!
Ross: Yknow what? Yknow what? Rachel, just-just drop it.
Ross: I can show you, I have it on videotape! (Stunned silence) Its an expression.
Monica: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) (To All) Its the deli again!
Joey: Yknow what? Dont worry about it, you still got me and Phoebe.
Ross: Well, I mean its not all bad. Im learning to appreciate the uh, smaller things in life. Like the sound of a bird and the color of the sky.
Ross: Please, help me! I have a date tonight. It has to go well okayIm scared for my health!
Joey: Okay. Okay. Umm Ooh! Oh-oh, I got something. Its this story I came up with, very romantic. I swear any woman that hears it; theyre like putty.
Ross: Really? Well then tell it to me.
Joey: Okay. Now youre gonna want to have sex with me when you hear it, but you have to remember it is just the story.
Joey: I was just outside Barcelona hiking in the foothills of Mount Tibidabo. I was at the end of this path and I came to a clearing and there was a lake, very secluded. And there were tall trees all around. (Whispering) It was dead silent. Gorgeous. (Softly) And across the lake I saw a beautiful woman bathing herself but she was crying
Ross: Its from France In Europe Western Europe. Yknow umm, a few years ago I actually was backpacking across Western Europe.
Ross: Uh-hmmWait! It gets better. Um, yeah I was in Barcelona.
Joey: Hey! Look, if it didnt work its because you didnt tell it right! Show me how you did it.
Joey: Im not feeling it.
Ross: Its been six months! Im always hot!
Joey: Well youre not selling the story! Its like; its like you dont believe it! Look, I gotta go. I got a date, but try this. Do what I do when Im preparing for an audition. Okay? Ill set you up with my video camera and you can record yourself and-and see what youre doing wrong.
Ross: (voiceover) So when she came in, I got distracted and totally forgot about the camera. [Cut back to the present day.] It kept rolling and recorded everything.
Chandler: I still dont get it, we didnt do anything wrong.
Chandler: Well maybe it was all of your questions.
Chandler: The sheer volume, it was like flying with the Riddler!
Joey: Uh no Rach, hes gone. But listen, he told us what happened and it does, it sounds like an honest mistake.
Rachel: Oh really? Well how would you like it if I had sex with you and I taped it? (Joey smiles luridly) Oh forget it! (Ross enters.) Oh there he is now, the father of my child, the porn king of the west village.
Ross: Look, it was accident! Okay? I-I feel bad that it happened, but I swear, I didnt even watch it! Anyway, here. (He takes the tape out of his coat pocket.) I thought you might be more comfortable destroying it yourself. (Tosses her the tape.)
Rachel: Thank you. (She sets it on the floor and is about to stomp on it with her shoe when the rest of the gang jumps up and yells simultaneously.) What? (They all yell again.) You dont want to see this do you?
Phoebe: No! Not the sex part, just the stuff leading up to it.
Ross: Forget it, shes destroying it.
Ross: Look, forget it Phoebe. Okay? Its Rachels tape and she can do whatever she wants with it. And she wants to destroy it. So, end of story.
Rachel: I wanna see it.
Rachel: Clearly you dont want people to see this tape. Now I dont want people to see this tape either, but you so badly dont people to see it makes me want to see it. You see?
Ross: I dont want people to see it for your sake.
Ross: (on tape) You didnt do it?
Monica: (taking Rachels hand) Sweetie okay. Its okay. Everybody made it to the wedding. Im fine.
Rachel: (on tape) (Ross hands her a glass of wine) I cannot believe that I did this. Especially after Monica just went on and on and on about it! (Mimicking Monica) "Okay Rachel! Here are the invitations Rachel! Now be very careful Rachel! Please, drinking no liquids around the invitations Rachel!" (She tilts her wine glass above and moves it back and forth across the invitations) Whoa oh! Oh-oh-oh! Oh oh-oh-oh
Chandler: Did you do it on our invitations?!
Rachel: (on tape) Can you believe this is already happening? I mean it seems like yesterday they just got engaged.
Rachel: (on tape) Oh, I remember how we almost. Do you think we wouldve gone through with it? Yknow, if we hadnt gotten caught. Do you think we wouldve done it?
Ross: (on tape) Yeah. (Pause) Anyway umm, it probably worked out for the best.
Rachel: I heard it from my friend Irene who heard it from some guy!
Ross: Yeah. Listen about that, the whole uh, who came on to who thing really doesnt matter. I mean, I think it wouldve happened either way. I mean if you hadnt initiated it I-I-I know I wouldve.
Rachel: It was an amazing night.
Ross: It was. It was an amazing night.
Rachel: You think it looked amazing?
Ross: I uh I dont know. I mean I I honestly didnt watch it.
Rachel: Yeah, it would be really weird.
(Ross grabs the tape and heads for the VCR as Rachel goes over and puts the chain on the door and locks it.)
Rachel: Oh, make it stop!
Rachel: Make it stop!!
Rachel: Have to make it stop!!
Monica: (on phone) Hello Greg? (Listens) Hi, this is Monica from the plane? Listen, the number that you gave me 853-5 (Listens) (To Chandler) That is their old number! Jennys been giving it out since they moved!
Joey: Well then, do it better!
Chandler: See, I told you they dont swim. (He goes to take it out)
CAROL: And then Susan and I got in this big fight because I said maybe we should call off the wedding, and she said we weren't doing it for them, we were doing it for us, and if I couldn't see that, then maybe we should call off the wedding. I don't know what to do.
Monica: Okay listen, yknow when you move in Rachels room is gonna be empty, you wanna talk about what we want to do with it?
Phoebe: I justI thought you guys were doing it, I didn't know you were in love!
Phoebe: All right. Ok, but, but! You have to promise that you will not be all like control-y and bossy and Monica about it.
Chandler: Oh its Bing, sir. Im sorry , I was just ah...
Vince: Phoebe, Phoebe relax, its okay. I mean we never said this was exclusive.
Joey: Yeah! Well, now that you brought it up, our fridge is broken. We have to get a new one. Now, I checked around and your half is $400. Thanks a lot.
Phoebe: Yeah, but remember you said you ordered something special, and it just hasn't come yet?
Joey: Please dont kick Monica and Rachel out, this wasnt there fault, it was mine.
Chandler: It doesn't say that. Does it?
Phoebe: Pretty big? Its huge! God, this guy doesnt have a clue! Hes just walking down the street thinking, I had sex with Rachel Green. I rock! then bam! Hes a father and everythings different.
Monica: Umm, if ah, it might be okay if Ross came skiing?
MR. GREENE: I'll never remember all of that. So uh, what's the deal? Rachel comes home, people pop out and yell stuff, is that it?
Monica: I thought I lost it. I got a new one, like, a month ago.
Rick: Would you mind spending some time on my siadic area, its been killing me today.
Monica: Come on Rach, come on. Lets see whats it like to be on a winning team for a change.
Rachel: Chandler!! (He turns around quickly) Promise me, you will end it.
Phoebe: No, y'know what dont close it (Rachel slams the door shut locking themselves out.) cause the... keys...are in there.
Chandler: Yes, it is, at Office Max.
Joey: So you're gonna have to do it in the mess!
Ross: No, I tried that. She says it has a weird smell.
Rachel: You guys! It was bananas, cream, and beef! I-I just cannot believe that you ate that so that I wouldnt feel bad!
Monica: Ohh! Umm, Phoebe, I kinda need to talk to you about that. (Rachel excuses herself) Umm, well I-I-I think it might be time for me to take a step back from catering.
Chandler: No, it came out to an even twenty.
Ross: Its okay man, be strong. (Chandler goes into the office.)
Monica: What one? You wanted him to invite you to the party and he did it!
Mona: Yeah, yknow. Happy holidays from Mona and Ross. Itll be cute, okay?
Monica: You know everything!! Oh wait, double or nothing. I bet you the baby is over seven pounds. (Phoebe isnt interested.) I bet you it has hair. (Shes still not interested.) I bet you its a girl.
Chandler: So um, after you put the suggestion in the box, how long did it take for the roller skating thing to happen.
Joey: Or... just get a card that has a poem already in it.
Joey: Oh, man, she loved it! She's over there showing Monica and Rachel right now.
Chandler: Okay! Okay! Let me try it again, youre gonna wanna date this next guy, I swear!
Ross: This is my son having lunch, ok? It's gonna happen a lot, so you'd better get used to it. Now if you have any problem with it, if you're uncomfortable, just ask questions. Carol's fine with it, now come on.
Rachel: Y'know, it is not like I did this on purpose.
Chandler: No-no-no! It is going to be okay, because Mrs. Braverman is gonna send away for a free one and that way we all win! The only losers are the big cheesecake conglomerate, (Reading the label) Mommas Little Bakery. (Pause) I feel terrible, Im a horrible, horrible, horrible person.
Rachel: Um, ok, uh, oh god, um, when you and uh Ross first started going out, it was really hard for me, um, for many reasons, which I'm not gonna bore you with now, but um, I just, I see how happy he is, you know, and how good you guys are together, and um, Monica's always saying how nice you are, and god I hate it when she's right.
Joey: Dont blame me, I saw it on The Discovery Channel.
Phoebe: Oo! Is it for my birthday present?
Ross: (to Monica): Could you take it to Carol's every now and then, and show it to Ben, just so he doesn't forget me?
Ross: Its okay if he bumps his head, kids bump their heads all the time, y'know, it was your first time babysitting, I figured you did the best you could.
Phoebe: Yeah, its about relationships. Yknow? The traps, the pitfalls, what not to do, keep going. This stuff is great!
Rachel: Nooo! Its not okay! I cant believe you would want to after what he did to me!
Rachel: Well, last time I almost got fired. You must end it, you must end it now!
Joey: You know what? This is a bad idea. Forget it. Forget it, and listen, do me a favor, this conversation was between you and me.
Chandler: All right! Bring it on, you
Phoebe: Wow, it was sowow!
Rachel: All right, lets do it.
Joey: (in a very aaaaahhhhh sweeeeeet voice) Aaahhh, look at you two... holding hands... huh is this getting serious? (Phoebe and Mike, embarrassed, start babbling and look away.) Have you not talked about it yet? (They say nothing now, but smile) Am I making you uncomfortable? (smiles are becoming forced now, and he speaks to Mike) If you were bigger you'd hit me, huh...? Aaaaaahhhhhh (he turns away to the bar)
Phoebe: Wait, if thats his favourite area, why is he being so mean to it?
Kathy: (interrupting) Oh, it looks great!
Chandler: Hey its Joey!
Joey: (on phone) Hey dude, its me.
Ross: Okay, the other night I was leaving the museum just as Laser Floyd was letting out of the planetarium, without even trying I sold 50 boxes! Thats when it occurred to me, the key to my success, the munchies. So I ah, started hitting the NYU dorms around midnight. I am selling cookies by the case. They call me: 'Cookie Dude!'
Tim: Wow! Umm, okay. Umm (To Phoebe) I-I-I realize I came on a little strong but, its only because I think youre so amazing. (To Monica) And uh, I-I just wanna, I just wanna tell you how much I appreciate you giving me an opportunity here because Iyoure the most talented chef Ive ever worked for. Anyway (Starts to leave and Phoebe and Monica trade looks.)
Chandler: Hey, you know what you can do? I remember reading about this director, I think it was Orson Wells, who at the beginning of the movie would hire somebody, just so he could fire them in front of everybody. Then they would all know, whos boss.
Monica: How would that go? (they kiss) Well, it didn't rhyme, but I liked it.
Joey: Uh, I scratched it on the ATM machine down on the corner.
[Sequence 4: Ross hikes the ball to Chandler, and the camera pans down to show Rachel standing deep in the end zone, playing with her gum. Something hits her on the head and she looks up to see where it came from.]
Chandler: Oh, dont say that! Dont say that. Thats not true. Is it?
Joey: Well, we have to say something! We have to get it out! Its eating me alive!! Monica got stung by a jellyfish.
Joey: No-no-no, no its uh, its okay.
Rachel: Yeah, remember that thing I told you that happened yesterday? Well it didnt happen.
Chandler: Its me. Im the other guy.
Joey: I dont know! But its the same!
Chandler: Y'know what, I can handle it, handles my middle name. Actually its the ah, middle part of my first name.
Phoebe: Oh my God, hes lost it. Hes totally lost it.
Phoebe: Look everyone, its the spirit of Thanksgiving!
ROSS: They, uh, were infected. He wouldn't have made it.
Chandler: Op, y'know what though, its kindve a girlie briefcase.
Phoebe: Open it up, let me see.
Rachel: You guys are gonna love meee! Okay, check it out, Thursday night, five tickets, Calvin Klein lingerie show, and you guys are coming with me. (theyre all silent and look away) Okay, I said that out loud right?
Phoebe: Ooh, God it looks bad.
Chandler: Well maybe you should put some ice on it.
Rachel: All right! Ross, do you think its easy for me to see you with somebody else?
Ross: Im telling you its totally unconstituional.
Chandler: When was the last time you saw her wear it?
The Director: (returning) Okay, Im afraid to say this, but lets pick it up where we left off.
chandler: Now we can finally watch Green Acres the way it was meant to be seen.
Chandler: (lying) Yes, but if its any consolation, before the bird dropped it, he seemed to enjoy it.
Joey: Yeah. Listen uh, Id prefer it if you didnt call me Joey. Since I dont know anyone here, I thought itd be cool to try out a cool work nickname.
Monica: Hey, how did it go with Mike, is he gonna let you keep the painting?
(Chandler gets up and runs out, but as soon as the door closes behind him he opens it, runs back in, picks up his ring Richard is holding up for him, and runs back out.)
Rachel: Okay! (Grabs a knife and cuts it in half.) All right, pick a half.
Monica: No, its okay, not only did I get to go out with Chip Matthews, I got to dump Chip Matthews.
Robin: Y'know its that feeling you get, y'know?
Monica: Oh, it was great! The widow wouldn't pay, so Phoebe yelled at her 'til she did.
Monica: So how does it look?
Ross: Okay, Jasmine, please, please dont. I love my girlfriend very much, and I want more than anything to just work it out with her. Okay?
Monica: I was probably waiting for it to open.
Chandler: Tell it again. (pause, we see Rachel is not amused.) Seriously.
Rachel: I know, its sick.
Monica: Why is it sick?
Kate: No, thats not it. So, youre a soap actor? Well this must be pretty exciting for you to be in a real play, hmm?
Ross: Believe me, it seems like less because they hid it from us for so long.
Rachel: Huh, well maybe it uh, it changed.
Phoebe: No-no, oh, Im fine with the age thing y'know, until it starts sticking its tongue down my little brothers throat!
Chandler: (Can't believe what he hears) Well, thank God your livelihood doesn't depend on it.
Chandler: Okay, okay, you got it!