words in movies
(Camera moves to Chandler, Phoebe, Ross, and Joey sitting in living room)
Joey: Ross, did you really read all these baby books?
Phoebe: Ooh, this is cool...it says in some parts of the world, people actually eat the placenta. (Joey grimaces)
Joey: Hey Ross, listen, you know that right now, your baby's only this big? (measures about 2 inches with his thumb and index finger) This is your baby. (in baby-like voice) Hi Daddy!
Joey: (in baby-like voice) How come you don't live with Mommy? (pause; shows Ross less than amused) How come Mommy lives with that other lady? (pause; Ross still looks less than amused; Joey smiling) What's a lesbian? (playfully hits Ross)
Joey, Chandler, and Ross: (sitting in living room, imitating Paolo) Mma, Mma, Mmaah
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler and Joey leaving girls' apartment, carrying lasagna.]
Joey: I love babies, with their little baby shoes, and their little baby toes, and their little baby hands...
(Joey opens door, throws keys on kitchen table, table falls over)
Joey: Need a new table.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler use their knees as a table to support the lasagna.]
Joey: That's the rule.
Joey: How'd you get to that?
Joey: You knew about that?
Joey: Ok, ok, How about if we split it?
Joey: Yeah
Joey: Why not?
Joey: Why, are you moving out?
Joey: You'd tell me if you were moving out right
Joey: Aw, I know all about Kip!
Joey: Well, let me ask you something, was Kip a better roommate than me?
Joey: So what's it gonna be? (Monica whispers in Joey's ear. Ross gets up and waves arms frantically in protest)
Joey: Or an uncle...
Joey and Chandler: Hey Phoebe!
Joey: Hey, Chandler, that table place closes at 7, come on.
Chandler: Fine. (Joey and Chandler walk towards the door)
(Joey and Chandler come back)
Joey: Whoa, store will be open tomorrow!
Joey and Chandler: Ooooohh!
Joey: Feminist issue. That's where I went!
[Scene: The Table Store, Joey and Chandler and looking for their new table.]
Joey: Will you pick one, just pick one! Here, how about that one? (points to a table)
Joey: So what, like people are gonna come in and think, "Uh-oh, I'm outside again?" Of course!
Joey: I don't know, birds just don't say, "Hello, sit here, eat something."
Joey: All right, how about the ladybugs?
Joey: Fine, you want to get the birds, get the birds!
Chandler: Not like that, I won't! (pauses) Kip would have liked the birds! (Joey turns and gives Chandler a dirty look)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross, Chandler, Joey, and Monica admiring their new table.]
(The camera pans back to reveal Joey and Chandler's new foosball table.)
Joey: Who cares, we'll eat at the sink! Come on, let's play!
Monica: Heads up Ross! (Monica scores on Chandler and Joey) Score! (points at Chandler) You suck!
(Chandler looks at Joey in amazement)
Joey: No-no, she kicked our butts. You could be on the Olympic standing-there team.
Joey: Yes, now is when you swoop! You gotta make sure that when Paolo walks out of there, the first guy Rachel sees is you, She's gotta know that you're everything he's not! You're like, like the anti-Paolo!
Chandler: My Catholic friend is right. She's distraught. You're there for her. You pick up the pieces, and then you usher in the age of Ross! (Ross and Chandler look off into the distance. Joey, wondering what they are looking at, looks in the same direction)
(Joey and Chandler run in)
Joey: Wha-
Joey and Chandler: What is it?
Joey: Hey!
Joey and Chandler: We already knew that! (they hug)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Monica is busy killing Chandle and Joey at foosball.]
Joey and Chandler: Shut-out!! (They both start heading for their rooms.)
Joey: Uh, it's 2:30 in the morning!
Monica: You guys are always hanging out in my apartment! Come on, I'll only use my left hand, huh? Come on, wussies! (Joey and Chandler pick her up) All right, ok, I gotta go. I'm going, (they throw her out) and I'm gone.
Chandler: (to Joey) One more game?
Joey: Oh yeah!
Joey: Well just see.
Joey: Yknow, we dont have to imagine.
Joey: Oh uh, ordinarily I would love too, but I am just swamped right now. (Brushes something off of his shirt and looks around, but doesnt move from his chair.)
Ross: Joey, we just saw it!
Joey: And?
Joey: Die Hard 2.
Joey and Ross: Die Hard!!!!!!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Kathy are sitting at a table and talking about Joey.]
Joey: Come here! (Hugs Dina and Bobby looks to hug Rachel.)
Chandler: (looking at the tape) Joey, this is Die Hard 1 again.
Joey: Yeah. All right, Ill talk to you later.
Joey: Well, I dont know!!
Joey: No! Never! Never! (Pause, then Joey wants to shake Rosss hand.) Bye.
[Scene: Phoebes cab, shes driving, Joeys in the back seat, and the hitchhiker is riding up front with Phoebe.]
Joey: Yeah. Yep. Yeah. All right, well uh, Id better go.
Rachel: Oh but Joey, I have to go. Theres no room for a baby here.
Joey: Well, I was Dr. Drake Remoray, Strykers twin brother. I mean, who looks more me than me right?
Joey: Hey! Whats going on?
Joey: Oh its water under the bridge, forget it!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is entering, Rachel and Phoebe are already there.]
[Scene: Street in front of the London Marriott, Joey and Chandler exit. Joey is carrying a video camera and is shooting Chandler.]
Joey: See, this is a great apartment.
Joey: Hi.
Joey: Saw a girl with that vest.
Joey: Uh hey look uh Ross, look I think we need to talk about before.
Joey: Uh-huh!
Joey: Okay! When?!
Joey: I want to do it again.
Joey: Why not?
Joey: (Hes recorded his voice on the tape) Joeys your best friEnd. You want to make him a cheese sandwich everyday. (he laughs) And you also want to buy him hundreds of dollars worth of pants.
Joey: Fine! Do you want something to drink?
Ross: Ive said it! Okay?! But its over Joey!
Chandler: Well, if he's gonna break up with you, maybe Joey and I should water his plants. If y'know what I mean.
Joey: Why is 10 the highest?
Joey: (crying) I dont want to marry Chandler!
Joey: Okay, Phoebe
Joey: Yeah.
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there except Joey.]
Ross and Joey: Oh! Thats nice.
Joey: Wow. (To Ross) Good speech.
(Joey and Ross pause while they picture the event.)
Joey: And shes back in the game.
Chandler: So this is nice! I wish I didnt have to go, believe me! But unfortunately I have to. (He gets up and Joey moves over next to Ross.) Oh uh, by the way, whats the name the girl youre dating?
Joey: No reason, Im just saying that uh Thats where Ill be.
Joey: Well, hes not used to women being so forward with him; but uh, I good check with himHe says its okay. (She hands him her card.) Great! Thanks! Bye-bye!
Joey: Yeah, yeah. We went to a Mets game, we got Chinese food, and you know, I love this woman. You have got competition buddy.
Joey: (groans in disgust) Wow, its really long.
Joey: (screaming) And now Chandler! Were all gettin so old! (Looking up) Why are you doing this to us?! (Turns away crying.)
Joey: (checks in the window to make sure it has them) Its got em!
Joey: Obviously! So, how do we decide?
Joey: Morning!
Joey: Alright, come on you guys, it's not that big a deal. Really... I mean, I just go down there every other day and... make my contribution to the project. Hey, hey, but at the end of two weeks, I get seven hundred dollars.
Joey: Pretty good.
Joeys Date: Hi!
Joey: Damnit!
Rachel: What-what if I marry RossOr Joey?
[Scene: Joey and Ben's audition, Joey is rehearsing his lines, uh correction, Joey is rehearsing his line.]
Joey: Hey! Whats up?
Rachel: Oh Joey, Im sorry I just couldnt tell her all those things you wanted me to tell her. And yknow we got to talking and I
Joey: Yeah. Ill uh, Ill call ya.
Joey: What?!!
Joey: Bye-bye.
Joey: Man, do you know what guys want!
Erin: Bye Joey. (Kisses him.) Last night was fun.
Joey: My beers?! Look you guys, shes a very nice girl. Okay? We had a good time, but I justI dont see it going anywhere.
Phoebe: Joey, shes so cool. She speaks four languages.
Joey: Look Im sorry you guys, I-I just dont think so.
Joey: You cant just ignore the bet! Its a bet! You bet and you bet and if you lose, you lose the bet!
Joey: Warm milk and Excedrin P.M. (Ross just leaves.)
Joey: Me too. I mean I havent thought at all about how I put myself out there and said all that stuff and how you didnt feel the same way about me and-and how it was really awkward.
Joey: Hey!
Joey: (skeptical) What party?
Joey: Erin.
Joey: Whos birthday party?
Joey: All right, so we should go catch our movie.
Joey: (still skeptical) Yeah, look how that worked out.
Erin: Joey.
Phoebe and Rachel: 32. (Joeys not buying it.)
Gunther: (approaching with a tray with an order on it) Joey!
Joey: Hey.
Joey: Yeah well we should order some food then.
Joey: Okay.
Joey: Aaahh... How much do I owe you?
Joey: (not buying it) Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Or, or Im the one who dates her.
Ross: No Joey! Look why dont, why dont we just let her decide? Okay? Hey-hey, well each go out with her one more time. And-and well see who she likes best.
Joey: What about Game 1 of the Series?
Rachel: So hows it goin with Joey?
Phoebe: Does Joey have any idea?
Joey: Okay. See you guys later.
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey sits at a table and Chandler and Monica enter.]
Joey: I dont know! But he did not eat your face cream!
Joey: (returning) Hey! You wanna go?
Joey: Great nap.
Phoebe: You could get arrested, right now! (Flashes the badge and they glare at her.) All right, yeah, I gotta take it back. I'm totally drunk with power. (She heads for the door just as Joey enters.)
Joey: (in a funny voice) Yeah, so it turns out that it wasnt the hair straightener that started the fire. (Rachel prompts him on what to say next.) No-no, it was the candles. Its very not good leaving candles unattended. In fact, one of the first things they teach you in fire school is (Phoebe suddenly enters.) Uhh Uhh Okay. Well, I have to go now. (Phoebe leaves.)
Joey: Hey!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Phoebe and Rachel are watching TV as Joey enters.]
Joey: And what?! Did you sleep with her?!
Joey: Oh. Oh.
Rachel: Joey