words in movies
(Joey enters with his dad)
Joey: Hey you guys. Hey, you all know my dad, right?
Joey: Dad, dad. (Shakes his head)
Joey: (Snatches the phone) Hey Ma. Listen, I made the appointment with Dr. Bazida, and... Excuse me? (To his dad) Did you know this isn't Ma?
(His dad nods. Cut to later. Joey is chopping mushrooms)
Joey: Sure. So how long you been... (Goes back to chopping)
Joey: Since then?!
Joey: ...I d'know.
Joey: You're one to talk. (Puts the mushrooms in a saucepan)
Joey: Oh man. Please tell me one of 'em is Ma.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is lamenting to everyone about hid dad's affair.]
Joey: It's like if you woke up one day and found out your dad was leading this double life. He's like actually some spy, working for the C.I.A. (Considers) That'd be cool.... This blows!
Joey: What's the matter with Rog?
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler and Joey are just leaving Monica and Rachel's.]
Joey: Night, you guys.
Joey: Hey. Can, uh, can we help you?
Ronni: Oh, no thanks, I'm just waiting for, uh, Joey Tribbiani.
Joey: I'm Joey Tribbiani.
Ronni: Oh no, not you, big Joey. Oh my God, you're so much cuter than your pictures! (Joey stares at her) I-I'm, I'm Ronni....Cheese Nip?
Chandler: Joey, if I go first, I wanna be looking for my keys.
Joey: Dad, Ronni's here.
Joey: Who-ah-ho.
Joey: No you won't.
Joey: If you go to a hotel you'll be...doing stuff. I want you right here where I can keep an eye on you.
Joey: That's right, mister, and I don't care how old you are, as long as you're under my roof you're gonna live by my rules. And that means no sleeping with your girlfriend.
Joey: Now dad, you'll be in my room, Ronni uh, you can stay in Chandler's room.
Joey: Okay. Now this is just for tonight. Starting tomorrow, you gotta make a change. This has gone on long enough.
Joey: Well, either you break it off with Ronni
Joey: Then you gotta come clean with Ma! This is not right!
Joey: I don't wanna hear it! Now go to my room!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, night. Chandler and Joey are sharing the sofabed in the living room. Joey is restless.]
Joey: Just trying to get comfortable. I can't sleep in my underwear.
Joey: I've been thinking. Y'know, about how I'm always seeing girls on top of girls...
Joey: Y'know what I mean, about how I'm always going out with all these women. And I always figured, when the right one comes along, I'd be able to be a stand-up guy and go the distance, y'know? Now I'm looking at my dad, thinking...
Joey: No.
Joey: You really think so?
Joey: Thanks, Chandler. (Snuggles up to him)
Ronni: Yeah, uh, Joey said I could use your shower, since, uh, Chandler's in ours?
Rachel: Perfect. Fasten your seatbelts, it's peepee time. (She goes into Joey and Chandler's apartment, where Mr. Tribbiani is reading the paper) Hey, Mr. Trib.
(She opens the door and whips back the curtain. It's Joey. They both scream)
Joey: (Runs out in a towel) What's the matter with you?!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment, Joey is trying to turn the sofabed back into a sofa. Someone knocks on the door and it rears up at him.]
Joey: Ma! What're you doing here?
Joey: Oww! Big ring!
Mrs. Tribbiani: Why did you have to fill your father's head with all that garbage about making things right? Things were fine the way they were! There's chicken in there, put it away. For God's sake, Joey, really. (She gives the sofabed a tiny push and it folds away)
Joey: Hold on, you-you knew?
Joey: So then how could you I mean, how could you?!
Joey: Ma, I don't mean to be disrespectful, but... what the hell are you talking about?! I mean, what about you?
Joey: I'm...happy...for you?
Joey: Ma, I'm sorry. I just did what I thought you'd want.
Joey: Yeah. You're ten times prettier than she is.
Joey: With this ring? (Her engagement ring.) No contest.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is letting everyone in on the new developments.]
Joey: Yeah. He's gonna keep cheating on my ma like she wanted, she's gonna keep pretending she doesn't know even though she does, and my little sister Tina can't see her husband any more because he got a restraining order...which has nothing to do with anything except that I found out today.
Ross: So Joey, you okay?
Joey: Yeah, I guess. It's just parents, after a certain point, you gotta let go. Even if you know better, you've gotta let them make their own mistakes.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's. Phoebe is reading the paper and Joey enters.]
Phoebe: Hey, Joey. What's going on?
Joey: Clear the tracks for the boobie payback express. Next stop: Rachel Green. (He goes into the bathroom. We hear a scream and he comes out, closely followed by Monica in a towel)
Monica: Joey!! What the hell were you doing?!
Joey: Sorry. Wrong boobies.
Monica: Hello, Joey.
Monica: Find some! Please! Anything that doesnt say I-I died tragically in France. (Joey leaves to find clothes.)
Joey: (to Leslie) Ah, anything we might of heard of?
Monica: I mean I have not been picked on this much since kindergarten and they had to bring in someone from junior high to do the see-saw with me. (Joey laughs and Monica glares at him.)
Joey: Hey Ross. This probably isn't the best time to bring it up, but you have to throw a party for Monica.
Joey: The Estelle Leonard Talent Agency. Wow, an agency left me its card! Maybe they wanna sign me!
Joey: Hey!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, its continued from earlier. Joey is now waking Chandler and telling him the news.]
Ross: Ohh, it's Joey! I love Joey! (Hugs him.)
Joey: Hi!
Joey: Oh dont listen to him, hes just some guy who really wants the apartment, but I dont think hes gonna get it.
Joey's Hand Twin: (To Joey) 14.
Joey: (sitting down) Ahhh! (Slides his hands across the table.)
The Grip: Hey pal, are you Joey Tribbiani?
Joey's Hand Twin: Please, please take him too. (Motions to Joey.)
Rachel: No Joey, look. Trust me, all the men are wearing them in the spring catalog. Look. (Shows him.) See look, men, carrying the bag.
Joey: Oh, Urse... (He tries to take her in his arms, but she fends him off.)
[Scene: The Telethon, Joey answers his ringing phone.]
Joey: Hey!
Joey: (to the rest of the gang) Somebody help me out here!
Joey: Oh, he was this cab driver we had in London.
[Scene: Rosss birthday, Joey is now trying to get his car out while Ross is directing him.]
Joey: Well! What happened?! Did we miss it?
Chandler: (to Joey) I wasnt doing anything. (Joey starts angrily throwing his stuff down.) Uh-oh, what did she do now?
Joey: Her name is Dutch, and also Marklan.
(Hearing the screaming Chandler and Joey rush in. Joey has a pan, Chandler has a tea kettle.)
Joey: Sure?
Joey: Well look, Im breaking up with Katie so I had to put on some extra padding. Y'know? I mean, if she hits me when she's happy, can you imagine how hard she's gonna hit me when I tell her I'm taking away the Joey love?
Phoebe: Oh Joey, Im so sorry. You want some of my breakfast?
Joey: Hey.
Monica: Okay. Oh but Joey, come over later because Im going to teach you to make a bird feeder out of just a pine cone and some peanut butter.
Joey: Where is the waitress?! Im starving!
Joey: Oh! Tell her shes not marriage material.
Chandler: (returning with Joey) Hi.
Joey: Ross!! We're having a surprise party for Rachel!!
(Joey exits as Chandler shakes his head.)
Joey: They gave me the shaft all right.
Joey: (wakes up) What?!
Joey: I'll kick that door in if you give me a little sugar.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, continued from earlier.]
Joey: All right. All right.
Joey: Really? I dont
Joey: Check out the rack on this chick! (Turns around to point it out to Ross and finds that Ross is glaring at him. So he quickly puts his binoculars to his eyes and starts looking for the comet.)
Joey: Okay, buddy-boy. Here it is. You hide my clothes, I'm wearing everything you own.
Joey: (entering with Phoebe) Come on Pheebs! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry!
Joey: (drinks from the glass and puts it back in the fridge) Yep, it's fat. I drank fat!
Joey: Ooh, Ill play! Ill play!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is drilling Joey on the chords as Monica looks on.]
Joey: Well, thank you. So, can we play 20 Questions now? Ive got a really good one! Ive been thinking about it since Kansas.
Joey: Oh, did I not mention? Carl is a guy I hired to be my identical twin for a medical research project.
Joey: Yes.
Joey: Okay, so what are we going to do about this hand twin thing?!
Joey: That is incredible! You are the master!
TRANSIT AUTHORITY GUY: He's here. (Chandler and Joey hug each other in relief) I'm assuming one of you is the father.
[Scene: Phoebes cab, Phoebe and Joey are driving back. Phoebe is driving while Joey is sleeping.]
(Joey turns to leave but stops at the door.)
[Scene: The hallway, Joey is returning from a date with Cynthia.]
Joey: What are you doing?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Ross, Joey, and Rachel are watching rugby on TV as Phoebe enters.]
Joey: Im not finished.
Phoebe: Joey stuffing 15 Oreos in his mouth. (Joey, with an obvious mouth full, nods yes.)
Joey: (rushing in) Oh my God! What happened here? Did you do all this?
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is telling Monica and Rachel what he has to do.]
Joey: (entering) Hey Monica!
Monica: Of course! Joey wouldnt let you have one?
(Monica quickly dives under the water as Joey enters. He looks a little shocked at what Chandler's doing.)
Monica: Wait! Joey! Joey! Are you okay?!
Joey: Oh my God! Youre pregnant!
Monica: Joey, we have something to tell you.
Joey: He's kinda tall, dark hair, hand looks exactly like this. (Holds up his hand.) See?
Phoebe: Joey, I cant believe you would do that for me.
Joey: I gotta tell you. You're the best in the business.
JOEY: Nice, nice. Hey I got somethin' for you. [hands Chandler an envelope.
Joey: Uhh, my stunt double. Yeah, and y'know, he's getting a little too familiar for my tastes.
Joey: Oh-oh, yeah-yeah, I bet all the sex makes it easier!
Joey: Yeah, but sandwich time is right now. (Removes a sandwich and starts eating.)
Joey: Here, I brought you some flowers. (He pulls them out of the bag.)
Joey: (smiling) No, smile! Not that face, smile! Everybody smile! (They all smile.)
JOEY: Hey Phoeb's, I think you're good to go.
Joey: (stopping him) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa-whoa! We could have our own show! Y'know we could clap our hands together people will love it! Huh? And-and-and I wrote a song for us! (Singing, to the tune of This Land is Your Land) This hand is your hand! This hand is my hand! Oh wait, that's your hand! No wait, it's my hand!
Phoebe: Hey! You could do a lot worse than Joey Tribbiani!!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is playing "She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not" with the petals of a flower, alternately looking hopeful and annoyed. Phoebe enters, but not as herself, for she has changed the style of her hair and make-up to match that of her twin sister. She hangs up her coat, revealing her new cardigan. Nervously, she smooths out the identifying garment, approaching Joey who sits next to the main sofa.]
JOEY: Ah, it's career stuff. I don't know if you heard but they killed off my character on the show.
Joey: Hey, excuse me, would you mind switching with me?
Joey: Get out! I couldn't stop if a meteor hit me.
Joey: Hi.
Joey: All right well, I'll take you someplace nice then. Look! A guy tipped me a hundred bucks today.
[Scene: The museum cafeteria, Joey is eating with the tour guides as Ross enters.]
Joey: How about 'cause if you don't, his mother might.
Joey: What if I smack my head on the concrete?
Joey: Me?! Oh come on, man! You can't do this! Come on! (Being dragged out by the guard) I'm your hand twin!!
Joey: (Poking his head out.) Havin' some trouble?
[Cut to Chandler and Joey's, Ross is seen throwing the ball into the bathroom, presumably where Joey is currently using the facilities.]
Phoebe: (to Joey and Chandler) Okay, bye!
Joey: I mean if-if you're thinking it's a woman's bag, it's not. It's a man's bag!
(Rachel gets up and ushers them into the hall, as they pass Joshua, he leaps onto the counter to avoid them. Rachel drops them off in the hall, and knocks on Joeys door.)
Joey: Really?! Well, when?
Phoebe: Oh no, I know! I know! It's the one where Joey got Monica's turkey stuck on his head!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Phoebe are talking.]
Joey: Great!
Joey: Wow.