words in movies
(Joey enters with his dad)
Joey: Hey you guys. Hey, you all know my dad, right?
Joey: Dad, dad. (Shakes his head)
Joey: (Snatches the phone) Hey Ma. Listen, I made the appointment with Dr. Bazida, and... Excuse me? (To his dad) Did you know this isn't Ma?
(His dad nods. Cut to later. Joey is chopping mushrooms)
Joey: Sure. So how long you been... (Goes back to chopping)
Joey: Since then?!
Joey: ...I d'know.
Joey: You're one to talk. (Puts the mushrooms in a saucepan)
Joey: Oh man. Please tell me one of 'em is Ma.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is lamenting to everyone about hid dad's affair.]
Joey: It's like if you woke up one day and found out your dad was leading this double life. He's like actually some spy, working for the C.I.A. (Considers) That'd be cool.... This blows!
Joey: What's the matter with Rog?
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler and Joey are just leaving Monica and Rachel's.]
Joey: Night, you guys.
Joey: Hey. Can, uh, can we help you?
Ronni: Oh, no thanks, I'm just waiting for, uh, Joey Tribbiani.
Joey: I'm Joey Tribbiani.
Ronni: Oh no, not you, big Joey. Oh my God, you're so much cuter than your pictures! (Joey stares at her) I-I'm, I'm Ronni....Cheese Nip?
Chandler: Joey, if I go first, I wanna be looking for my keys.
Joey: Dad, Ronni's here.
Joey: Who-ah-ho.
Joey: No you won't.
Joey: If you go to a hotel you'll be...doing stuff. I want you right here where I can keep an eye on you.
Joey: That's right, mister, and I don't care how old you are, as long as you're under my roof you're gonna live by my rules. And that means no sleeping with your girlfriend.
Joey: Now dad, you'll be in my room, Ronni uh, you can stay in Chandler's room.
Joey: Okay. Now this is just for tonight. Starting tomorrow, you gotta make a change. This has gone on long enough.
Joey: Well, either you break it off with Ronni
Joey: Then you gotta come clean with Ma! This is not right!
Joey: I don't wanna hear it! Now go to my room!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, night. Chandler and Joey are sharing the sofabed in the living room. Joey is restless.]
Joey: Just trying to get comfortable. I can't sleep in my underwear.
Joey: I've been thinking. Y'know, about how I'm always seeing girls on top of girls...
Joey: Y'know what I mean, about how I'm always going out with all these women. And I always figured, when the right one comes along, I'd be able to be a stand-up guy and go the distance, y'know? Now I'm looking at my dad, thinking...
Joey: No.
Joey: You really think so?
Joey: Thanks, Chandler. (Snuggles up to him)
Ronni: Yeah, uh, Joey said I could use your shower, since, uh, Chandler's in ours?
Rachel: Perfect. Fasten your seatbelts, it's peepee time. (She goes into Joey and Chandler's apartment, where Mr. Tribbiani is reading the paper) Hey, Mr. Trib.
(She opens the door and whips back the curtain. It's Joey. They both scream)
Joey: (Runs out in a towel) What's the matter with you?!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment, Joey is trying to turn the sofabed back into a sofa. Someone knocks on the door and it rears up at him.]
Joey: Ma! What're you doing here?
Joey: Oww! Big ring!
Mrs. Tribbiani: Why did you have to fill your father's head with all that garbage about making things right? Things were fine the way they were! There's chicken in there, put it away. For God's sake, Joey, really. (She gives the sofabed a tiny push and it folds away)
Joey: Hold on, you-you knew?
Joey: So then how could you I mean, how could you?!
Joey: Ma, I don't mean to be disrespectful, but... what the hell are you talking about?! I mean, what about you?
Joey: I'm...happy...for you?
Joey: Ma, I'm sorry. I just did what I thought you'd want.
Joey: Yeah. You're ten times prettier than she is.
Joey: With this ring? (Her engagement ring.) No contest.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is letting everyone in on the new developments.]
Joey: Yeah. He's gonna keep cheating on my ma like she wanted, she's gonna keep pretending she doesn't know even though she does, and my little sister Tina can't see her husband any more because he got a restraining order...which has nothing to do with anything except that I found out today.
Ross: So Joey, you okay?
Joey: Yeah, I guess. It's just parents, after a certain point, you gotta let go. Even if you know better, you've gotta let them make their own mistakes.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's. Phoebe is reading the paper and Joey enters.]
Phoebe: Hey, Joey. What's going on?
Joey: Clear the tracks for the boobie payback express. Next stop: Rachel Green. (He goes into the bathroom. We hear a scream and he comes out, closely followed by Monica in a towel)
Monica: Joey!! What the hell were you doing?!
Joey: Sorry. Wrong boobies.
Monica: Hello, Joey.
Ross: About about sex? (Joey looks at him confused) That I hadnt had sex in months?
Joey: Oh, well no problem there. (He picks up the chick, hugs it really tight, and talks to it like its a little baby.)
Phoebe: You guys make a very attractive couple. (The camera cuts to a shot of the picture and we see that Monica is posing with Joey instead of Chandler.)
Catherine: All the appliances are included. There is a lot of light, a new kitchen... I think you guys would be very happy here... (Joey and Chandler both realise what she's assuming and start laughing.)
Joey: Because she is!
Monica: Joey, Chandler knows I borrowed the money.
Joey: Mmmm hmm! For your boob job!
Joey: Hey uh, where do you guys want this?
[Cut to Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Monica is getting Chandler ready for his half of the plan.]
Joey: Okay. Okay. Umm Ooh! Oh-oh, I got something. Its this story I came up with, very romantic. I swear any woman that hears it; theyre like putty.
Joey: Oh! Sure! How much? Two thousand dollars?
[Scene: Ross' apartment , Chandler and Joey enter]
Joey: Hey, don’t get mad at us! No one forced you to raise the stakes!
Ross: Ohh! Okay! Okay. (Resumes reading word for word from the card) "There are three (pauses and looks at Joey) primary theories concerning sediment flow rate. (Pauses and darts his eyes between Chandler and Rachel.) (Rachel starts laughing) Each of these theories (glances at Phoebe) can be further subcategorized (glances at Chandler) into "
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment]
Rachel: Joey... are you sure? I mean, I know how much you love him!
Joey: Rach look, I really dont think thats such a great
Joey: Why wouldn't she? He's a wonderful person!
Joey: Well, so, stay for the museums!
Joey: It's okay, it's okay Rach, it's me. Put down the scrunchy.
[The next flashback is from The One With The Candy Hearts. Joey and Chandler are waiting at a restaurant as Lorraine and her friend arrive.]
JOEY: Thanks for coming Mrs. Greene. [grabs her and kisses her to distract her. She goes limp in his arms. Mr. Greene leaves.] Well, ok, you take care.
Joey: Dude relax! It could happen to anyone.
Joey: Oh this is great! I might actually get to play Ben's dad!
Rachel: Uh You didnt propose to me, Chandler didnt propose to me, but Joey did.
Joey: Thank you. (He gets up and puts on his jacket.) (Phoebe enters) Hey Pheebs!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's. Enter Joey]
Joey: Make the transfer! (She does so)
Joey: Hey, look who's here! It's Joey, and he brought home a friend.
Joey: Oh, no don't worry about that, I swallowed that years ago.
Rachel: Joey, Emma's right here! You promised not to bring girls home in the middle of the day anymore.
Joey: But he's the same.
Rachel: Joey, come on!
Joey: But he's the same.
Joey: He's the same!
Joey: (to the new Hugsy) You're not the same!
Joey: yeah and hey thanks again for letting me having that last piece of cake at the restaurant.
Rachel: Ugh! Joey, I have to go.
Joey: (to the fireman) Hey buddy, do you think I can borrow your uniform this Thursday?
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe is speaking Italian to Joeys grandmother. Im spelling phonetically.]
Joey: Oh, hey, how about this one. Ah, its says so in the script! Y'know ah, I-I dont know why my character likes you either, I mean it says in the script here that youre a bitch.
[Scene: Rachels birthday, she is coming into the hallway where Joey and Tag are playing with the scooter.]
Joey: Hey-hey, hold on, this isnt some kind of like girly dance. All right, its like a sport, its manly!
Joey: It's Monica, ok?
Joey: Original or crappy?
Joey: Really? She... she loves me?
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler sits on the couch. Joey sits at the round table]
Joey: ... she's being unreasonable!
Joey: No, sorry haven't seen him.
Joey: It does?
Joey: (after Ross leaves the room) aaand SEND! (he hits the send button)
Joey: Ha-ha, very funnyLook! I dont know what to do! I really want you guys to get along. Just please come to the movie with us. I mean you owe me!
Rachel: Yeah! And she's comforted by him because she loves her uncle Joey so much.
Joey: Look forget it forget it... I can't do it.
Joey: How do you think I got him in the first place?
Joey: Ok, wait wait wait wait a minute wait a minute, I mean Rach, I mean if if... . If Hugsy means that much to Emma then... well she can have him.
Joey: Err...Well I...Know how much you used to make and I know how much your rent is. (shrugs)
Joey: Nah, its okay. Right, Gunther? (Winks at him as if theyre in on a secret together.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Chandler, and Joey are there as Monica enters with the local paper that has the engagement picture in it.]
Phoebe: Joey and my friend were out last night and having dinner and she reaches over and takes a few of his fries...
Joey: The skys blue Ross and I had sex yesterday!
Joey: Oh well, the powerball lottery is upto 300 million and they don't sell tickets here in New York, so...
Ross: Yeah! I dont know. I mean, last year Elizabeth now-now this kid. What-what-what-what is it?! Am I giving out some kind of sexy professor vibe? (Rachel and Joey both look at him.)
Joey: Alright!
Joey: Uh!
Joey: Seriously, Ross, you don't want in on this?
Joey: I like those odds!
Joey: Oh yeah, sure. (She gets up, walks towards the bathroom, and Joey watches her go.) Ehhh.
Joey: (who wasn't paying attention)What's that now?
Chandler: Kinda like Joey.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica, Chandler, Rachel and Joey are in the kitchen]
Joey: (sounding panicky)Oh my god Ross! You don't have Emma! And Rachel you don't have Emma! (Starts yelling) Where's Emma? Who has Emma!?
Joey: I did?
Joey: (not yelling anymore)I was?
Rachel: Joey relax! My mother picked her up two hours ago. You were there!
Joey: Ooh! Tough odds!
Joey: (Still excited)By you!?
JOEY: Hey, look, since we're neighbors and all, what do you say we uh, get together for a drink?
Joey: (excited)Did you get it?
Joey: (smiling)Look who's coming around!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler enters to find Joey lying in the fetus position on the floor.]
Joey: I can't tell you what I'm wishing for! Else...you know...won't come true!
(Phoebe and Joey both grab one side of the wishbone)
Joey: Can't really say!
Joey: I won, hey!
Joey: Oh yeah! The casserole lady.
Joey: Ooh, ooh, I know! We should pool all own money and buy the Knicks!
Chandler: I pity the fool who puts on my jewelry, I do, I do. I pity the fool that. . . [turns around and sees Joey] Hi!
Joey: Seriously, that's your fantasy? To invest it?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment, Joey is there, trying to convince Monica to pose as his girlfriend. His plan is to hook Monica up with Angela's boyfriend Bob and then take Angela back for himself.]
Joey: Oh, you will when I pick you as starting forward.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Joey are sitting on the couch. Rachel is working.]
Joey: (to Ross) I'll show you how.
Joey: Dude, I'm sorry. But hey, there's one spot left, right?
Joey: (in pain) Oh!
Joey: Monica, hey, can I borrow the Porsche?
Joey: I'm telling you, that monkey is a chick magnet! She's going to take one look at his furry, cute little face and it'll seal the deal.
Joey: And what did she say?
Phoebe: I cant say that didnt hurt. But Ill take you back Joey Tribbiani.
Joey: (checking the last ticket) Damnit! anybody got anything?