words in movies
(Joey enters with his dad)
Joey: Hey you guys. Hey, you all know my dad, right?
Joey: Dad, dad. (Shakes his head)
Joey: (Snatches the phone) Hey Ma. Listen, I made the appointment with Dr. Bazida, and... Excuse me? (To his dad) Did you know this isn't Ma?
(His dad nods. Cut to later. Joey is chopping mushrooms)
Joey: Sure. So how long you been... (Goes back to chopping)
Joey: Since then?!
Joey: ...I d'know.
Joey: You're one to talk. (Puts the mushrooms in a saucepan)
Joey: Oh man. Please tell me one of 'em is Ma.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is lamenting to everyone about hid dad's affair.]
Joey: It's like if you woke up one day and found out your dad was leading this double life. He's like actually some spy, working for the C.I.A. (Considers) That'd be cool.... This blows!
Joey: What's the matter with Rog?
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler and Joey are just leaving Monica and Rachel's.]
Joey: Night, you guys.
Joey: Hey. Can, uh, can we help you?
Ronni: Oh, no thanks, I'm just waiting for, uh, Joey Tribbiani.
Joey: I'm Joey Tribbiani.
Ronni: Oh no, not you, big Joey. Oh my God, you're so much cuter than your pictures! (Joey stares at her) I-I'm, I'm Ronni....Cheese Nip?
Chandler: Joey, if I go first, I wanna be looking for my keys.
Joey: Dad, Ronni's here.
Joey: Who-ah-ho.
Joey: No you won't.
Joey: If you go to a hotel you'll be...doing stuff. I want you right here where I can keep an eye on you.
Joey: That's right, mister, and I don't care how old you are, as long as you're under my roof you're gonna live by my rules. And that means no sleeping with your girlfriend.
Joey: Now dad, you'll be in my room, Ronni uh, you can stay in Chandler's room.
Joey: Okay. Now this is just for tonight. Starting tomorrow, you gotta make a change. This has gone on long enough.
Joey: Well, either you break it off with Ronni
Joey: Then you gotta come clean with Ma! This is not right!
Joey: I don't wanna hear it! Now go to my room!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, night. Chandler and Joey are sharing the sofabed in the living room. Joey is restless.]
Joey: Just trying to get comfortable. I can't sleep in my underwear.
Joey: I've been thinking. Y'know, about how I'm always seeing girls on top of girls...
Joey: Y'know what I mean, about how I'm always going out with all these women. And I always figured, when the right one comes along, I'd be able to be a stand-up guy and go the distance, y'know? Now I'm looking at my dad, thinking...
Joey: No.
Joey: You really think so?
Joey: Thanks, Chandler. (Snuggles up to him)
Ronni: Yeah, uh, Joey said I could use your shower, since, uh, Chandler's in ours?
Rachel: Perfect. Fasten your seatbelts, it's peepee time. (She goes into Joey and Chandler's apartment, where Mr. Tribbiani is reading the paper) Hey, Mr. Trib.
(She opens the door and whips back the curtain. It's Joey. They both scream)
Joey: (Runs out in a towel) What's the matter with you?!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment, Joey is trying to turn the sofabed back into a sofa. Someone knocks on the door and it rears up at him.]
Joey: Ma! What're you doing here?
Joey: Oww! Big ring!
Mrs. Tribbiani: Why did you have to fill your father's head with all that garbage about making things right? Things were fine the way they were! There's chicken in there, put it away. For God's sake, Joey, really. (She gives the sofabed a tiny push and it folds away)
Joey: Hold on, you-you knew?
Joey: So then how could you I mean, how could you?!
Joey: Ma, I don't mean to be disrespectful, but... what the hell are you talking about?! I mean, what about you?
Joey: I'm...happy...for you?
Joey: Ma, I'm sorry. I just did what I thought you'd want.
Joey: Yeah. You're ten times prettier than she is.
Joey: With this ring? (Her engagement ring.) No contest.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is letting everyone in on the new developments.]
Joey: Yeah. He's gonna keep cheating on my ma like she wanted, she's gonna keep pretending she doesn't know even though she does, and my little sister Tina can't see her husband any more because he got a restraining order...which has nothing to do with anything except that I found out today.
Ross: So Joey, you okay?
Joey: Yeah, I guess. It's just parents, after a certain point, you gotta let go. Even if you know better, you've gotta let them make their own mistakes.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's. Phoebe is reading the paper and Joey enters.]
Phoebe: Hey, Joey. What's going on?
Joey: Clear the tracks for the boobie payback express. Next stop: Rachel Green. (He goes into the bathroom. We hear a scream and he comes out, closely followed by Monica in a towel)
Monica: Joey!! What the hell were you doing?!
Joey: Sorry. Wrong boobies.
Monica: Hello, Joey.
Joey: That tone will not make me go any faster.
Joey: We just got the message.
[The next one is from Episode 224: The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding, Joey has to kiss a guy in an audition and has been trying to find one to practice with.]
Chandler: What? (turns around quickly still ready to throw the dart and Joey quickly ducks and hides behind the chair) What are you, what are you talking about?
[Scene: The Table Store, Joey and Chandler and looking for their new table.]
(Joey enters, happy again.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are there. Joey is holding a deck of cards out to Chandler.]
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Joey is talking to Monica and Chandler.]
Joey: Thank you.
Joey: Shut up!
Ross: Uhhhh... Joey cried last night.
Joey: Yeah, we just don't happen to know any women that know how to play poker.
[Scene: Rosss birthday, night has fallen and Joey and Ross are walking by where his car is parked to find that both cars blocking him in have left.]
Phoebe: (to Joey): Oh I see, so then, you were lying.
Joey: About what?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler are eating breakfast as Joey enters.]
Joey: (pause)...Yeah?
Joey: No, I don't think so, see Ross, because I think you love her.
Tour Guide: Im Rhonda, (motions to her breasts) and these arent real! (Joey and Ross look at each other, shocked)
Joey: No way are you cool enough to pull of Clint.
Joey: Well, if she's my friend, hopefully she'll understand. I mean, wouldn't you guys?
JOEY: Yeah, she's totally good looking. I mean, if I met her in a bar, or something, I'd be buying her breakfast. [pause] You know, after having slept with her.
Joey: What?
Joey: (in disbelief) Whoa.
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey and Ross are there.]
Lydia: Mom, we've been through this. No, I'm not calling him. I don't care if it is his kid, the guy's a jerk. No, I'm not alone. Joey's here. (pause) What do you mean, Joey who? (covers the phone, to Joey) Joey who?
Joey: With Carol? (Ross gives him a look.) Oh.
Joey: Would you let it go Ross. It was just a dream. It doesn't mean...
Joey: Uh, waiter, one more plate of chicken wings over here.
Joey: Uh... Phoebe? Phoebe?
Phoebe: OK Joey, your bet.
Joey: (To Phoebe) Hey, is uh the rest of my candy bar around here?
Joey: (taking a bite) Oh, great! Can you believe I found it on the second floor?
Joey: Look, Rachel, we don't have to do this.
Joey: Check.
Joey: All right, relax, relax. Just relax, just relax. Be cool, be cool.
Joey: Oh no, I'm sure the Xerox machine caught a few.
Joey: (to Ross): Ahhh, that's alright. Y'know, that's a tough hand to beat.
Joey: That's OK, Ross, you can ask me. What?
Joey: (sitting on the arm of the couch)Of course it was a line!
Ross: (to Joey): Joey, I'm a little shy.
Joey: Ugh! I dont know what Im going to do! I called the company that sent and th-they dont care! Then I called 9-1-1 and they laughed at me, if this isnt an emergency, then what is?
Joey: Oh!
Joey: Tampa Bay's got a terrible team.
Joey: Ooh, look-look-look-look-look! I got Monica naked!
Joey: (bursts out laughing again) I can't believe you didn't know it was a line!
Joey: She really said that?
Joey: 'Tonight' tonight?
Joey: Wait a second, I see what youre trying to do here! You-youre trying to give me money again!
Joey: Did you get your money back?
Joey: How could you lose him?
Joey: Why would you need to say hi to them, youve been feeding them for four days?
Joey: (looking at himself) Man, I've got food all over me.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler, Ross. Joey, and Rachel are eating breakfast. Chandler is holding a bottle of Herseys Syrup.]
Monica: No youre fine. (Joey checks anyway.) All right well, do you think I could take Rachel?
(Chandler and Joey hold the puck and wave at the TV thing.)
Joey: All right, congratulations you lucky bastard! (hugs him)
Angela: Hey, Joey.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is watching TV.]
Joey: Marcel?
Joey: Oh. Then, no.
Joey: Marcel?
Joey: A monkey.
(Joey lets himself in, carrying a large paper shopping bag.)
Joey: Marcel?
Joey: Hey, hey. How was the first day?
Ross: (on phone) Yeah, hi, I was just beeped. (pause) No, Andr� is not here. (to Joey) Third time today. (on phone) Yes, I'm sure... No, sir. I don't perform those kind of services.
Joey: (looks at a girl walk in) see ordinarily I would talk to her, but my confidence is shaken did I sleep with her? Did I not sleep with her?
Ross: OK, turn around. (Joey looks taken aback) I just don't want you staring at me when I'm doing this.
Joey: Aw, I know all about Kip!
Chandler: See, it pays to know the man who wears my shoes. (Joey and Ross wonder what he means) Me.
Rachel: I don't know, you know, just the way she waltzed in here all smart, and tall! You know, and just swept Joey off his feet... I mean, nobody else has a chance!
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler are there. Ross is still talking to the beautiful woman.]
Joey: Oh alright. Umm, well, okay, I usually start by having a bottle of wine sent to my table from a fan.
Ross: Uh.. uh.. Well, Joey and I had discussed getting in an early morning racquetball game. But, um, apparently, somebody overslept.
Joey: Her answer machine?
Joey: Okay, the next situation is for Rachel. The wedding is about to start you walk into the back room and you find Monica taking a nap with Ross. (Ross lies on the floor.) Ill be Monica. Go! (He jumps down and cuddles up with Ross.)
Joey: Oh-Wha-Ho! What are you middle naming me for?! I left you a note!
Rachel: So hot I cried myself to sleep last night. (Joey and Chandler clap their hands)
Joey: Two thousand dollars!? What do you think I am? I soap opera star!?
Joey: Yeah, Ross. You and the baby just need better blocking.
Joey: Yeah, yeah, okay. Uh, look buddy, I came with that girl, and I had this plan to kiss her at the new years countdown Im trying to win her over, so I was wondering if..
Joey: Will you grow up? I'm not talking about sexy stuff, but, like, when I'm cooking naked.
Joey: Oh, great, pretty soon they'll be back together.
Joey: Maybe she never got your message.
Joey: Hey! No! Get your France-going-arms away from me. (He walks out, and Rachel follows him)
(Joey and Ross laughs)
Joey: No I mean it! I cant believe they would do this to you! And to your fans! I mean they are going to be devastated! Heart broken! They love you so much!
Joey: ..Naughty!
Joey: (intrigued) Yeah?
(Joey exits.)
(Chandler seeing that Joey has his eyes closed sneaks over and picks up the chicken. The chicken starts flapping it's wings in protest as Chandler holds the chicken inches from Joey's face. Joey stops yelling and upon opening his eyes sees the chicken, screams, and falls to the ground in horror.)
(Joey and Ross laughs)
Phoebe: Tiger! (Joey moves his hand in an attempt to do the chord, in fact he does it with each name.) Dragon! Iceberg!! (He fails.) Joseph, did you even study at all last night?
Joey: Absolutely! I could be a vegetarian. Theres no meat in beer, right?
Joey: If you get a second, find out where she got that cheeseburger.
Joey: Oh yeah, sure, that makes sense. Yeah. Cause you already told her you love her and she didnt say it back, then she called you and told you that theres another guy, so yeah, go to London thatll scare her!
(They hug and Joey enters.)
Joey: Oh... Yeah, you do.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey returns from his audition and finds everyone but Phoebe there.]