words in movies
(Joey enters with his dad)
Joey: Hey you guys. Hey, you all know my dad, right?
Joey: Dad, dad. (Shakes his head)
Joey: (Snatches the phone) Hey Ma. Listen, I made the appointment with Dr. Bazida, and... Excuse me? (To his dad) Did you know this isn't Ma?
(His dad nods. Cut to later. Joey is chopping mushrooms)
Joey: Sure. So how long you been... (Goes back to chopping)
Joey: Since then?!
Joey: ...I d'know.
Joey: You're one to talk. (Puts the mushrooms in a saucepan)
Joey: Oh man. Please tell me one of 'em is Ma.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is lamenting to everyone about hid dad's affair.]
Joey: It's like if you woke up one day and found out your dad was leading this double life. He's like actually some spy, working for the C.I.A. (Considers) That'd be cool.... This blows!
Joey: What's the matter with Rog?
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler and Joey are just leaving Monica and Rachel's.]
Joey: Night, you guys.
Joey: Hey. Can, uh, can we help you?
Ronni: Oh, no thanks, I'm just waiting for, uh, Joey Tribbiani.
Joey: I'm Joey Tribbiani.
Ronni: Oh no, not you, big Joey. Oh my God, you're so much cuter than your pictures! (Joey stares at her) I-I'm, I'm Ronni....Cheese Nip?
Chandler: Joey, if I go first, I wanna be looking for my keys.
Joey: Dad, Ronni's here.
Joey: Who-ah-ho.
Joey: No you won't.
Joey: If you go to a hotel you'll be...doing stuff. I want you right here where I can keep an eye on you.
Joey: That's right, mister, and I don't care how old you are, as long as you're under my roof you're gonna live by my rules. And that means no sleeping with your girlfriend.
Joey: Now dad, you'll be in my room, Ronni uh, you can stay in Chandler's room.
Joey: Okay. Now this is just for tonight. Starting tomorrow, you gotta make a change. This has gone on long enough.
Joey: Well, either you break it off with Ronni
Joey: Then you gotta come clean with Ma! This is not right!
Joey: I don't wanna hear it! Now go to my room!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, night. Chandler and Joey are sharing the sofabed in the living room. Joey is restless.]
Joey: Just trying to get comfortable. I can't sleep in my underwear.
Joey: I've been thinking. Y'know, about how I'm always seeing girls on top of girls...
Joey: Y'know what I mean, about how I'm always going out with all these women. And I always figured, when the right one comes along, I'd be able to be a stand-up guy and go the distance, y'know? Now I'm looking at my dad, thinking...
Joey: No.
Joey: You really think so?
Joey: Thanks, Chandler. (Snuggles up to him)
Ronni: Yeah, uh, Joey said I could use your shower, since, uh, Chandler's in ours?
Rachel: Perfect. Fasten your seatbelts, it's peepee time. (She goes into Joey and Chandler's apartment, where Mr. Tribbiani is reading the paper) Hey, Mr. Trib.
(She opens the door and whips back the curtain. It's Joey. They both scream)
Joey: (Runs out in a towel) What's the matter with you?!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment, Joey is trying to turn the sofabed back into a sofa. Someone knocks on the door and it rears up at him.]
Joey: Ma! What're you doing here?
Joey: Oww! Big ring!
Mrs. Tribbiani: Why did you have to fill your father's head with all that garbage about making things right? Things were fine the way they were! There's chicken in there, put it away. For God's sake, Joey, really. (She gives the sofabed a tiny push and it folds away)
Joey: Hold on, you-you knew?
Joey: So then how could you I mean, how could you?!
Joey: Ma, I don't mean to be disrespectful, but... what the hell are you talking about?! I mean, what about you?
Joey: I'm...happy...for you?
Joey: Ma, I'm sorry. I just did what I thought you'd want.
Joey: Yeah. You're ten times prettier than she is.
Joey: With this ring? (Her engagement ring.) No contest.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is letting everyone in on the new developments.]
Joey: Yeah. He's gonna keep cheating on my ma like she wanted, she's gonna keep pretending she doesn't know even though she does, and my little sister Tina can't see her husband any more because he got a restraining order...which has nothing to do with anything except that I found out today.
Ross: So Joey, you okay?
Joey: Yeah, I guess. It's just parents, after a certain point, you gotta let go. Even if you know better, you've gotta let them make their own mistakes.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's. Phoebe is reading the paper and Joey enters.]
Phoebe: Hey, Joey. What's going on?
Joey: Clear the tracks for the boobie payback express. Next stop: Rachel Green. (He goes into the bathroom. We hear a scream and he comes out, closely followed by Monica in a towel)
Monica: Joey!! What the hell were you doing?!
Joey: Sorry. Wrong boobies.
Monica: Hello, Joey.
Joey: (looking at the checkbook) Wow! Look at this! He wrote a check for 50,000 dollars to Hugo Ligrens Ring Design. (Monica is stunned) Oh, sorry, what do you think the good news is?
Joey: Oh, ain't that nice? The three of you trying on slutty lingerie together.
(Joey stares around dumbly looking for the "talking pigeon")
Joey: (to Charlie) Alright, have a good time. (they kiss)
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey and Charlie on the couch. Rachel enters]
Joey: Bye.
Joey: Just... seeing what it'd be like to be a paleontologist... it's fun, yeah!
Joey: So you're ruling out surrogacy?
Joey: So, I don't have to learn what that means?
Chandler: (stopping Joey) ah-ha!
(Joey moves close to Ross and whispers something in his ear)
Joey: (talking to a pineapple in his hand) God, you're beautiful...why are we fighting this?You know you want it to happen as much as I do.
Phoebe: You like Joey?
Joey: Shh. Shh. Dont try to talk, well get you up to your room, well soak your feet, youll be okay.
Chandler: So you might say, the ring is irreplaceable? (Gives Joey a little squeeze.)
Joey: Hello?
Joey: Yeah, yeah, in honor of their 35th wedding anniversary, I had a star named after them.
Ross: Joey! Hey, I need to talk to Charlie. Is she there?
Joey: No. no... eh... she went shopping with Rachel. Why? What's up?
Joey: No! No! I am not a sex addict!
Joey: Well, just wake him up!
Joey: Oh! How's it going?
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Joey is sitting on his bed and the phone rings]
(Ross drags Joey into the hall and slams the door)
Joey: Look, I dont know why the kids need a youth center anyway! Yknow? They should just watch TV after school like I did and I turned out fine!
Charlie: No! There's nothing to explain. I heard you. Phoebe likes Joey.
(Phoebe walks in wearing a fancy, revealing dress, and stands before Joey)
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey is sitting on the sofa, eating a cookie.]
Joey: (sees Ross) Hey all right, Ross came as doody.
Joey: Have you ever slept in the same bed as a monkey?!
Joey: Then don't go!
Rachel: Uh-huh! Nice try, but you dont get that chair anymore! All right? That is my chair now! You can sit on my lap! (Joey starts to get up.) No I take that back!
Joey: Hey Ross, wouldn't it be great if we could go two straight hours without dropping it?!
Rachel: Joey, its just a chair! Whats the big deal?
(Joey gives Phoebe a thumbs up. Phoebe walks out)
Joey: Yeah, I guess, but whats like heads and whats tails?
Chandler: No. But uh, Joey has, and I usually talk to them in the morning time.
Joey: Mmh-mmh.
Joey: Barbados!
Joey: (entering) Hey! I'm all packed and ready to go!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, later that morning. The porn is still on, there are three women getting ready to shave the chest of some guy. Joey and Chandler are wondering why that guy is letting them shave his chest, and Monica and Rachel are eating breakfast at the foosball table.]
Joey: That... never happens...
Sarah: (to Joey) Are you a paleontologist?
Joey: Yeah! How you doin'? Yeah alright!
Joey: Hey, hey! You said you're gonna wear a thong, where's the thong?
Joey: Hey!
Joey: (smiling) Will you wear a thong?
Joey: You really should have been more clear about that!
Joey: No, why?
Joey: Oh man!
Joey: Wha...? You're gonna go now? I thought we could hang out?
Joey: I wasn't gonna swim, I was gonna dig a hole! (removes a small plastic spade used by children to play on the beach from his backpack)
Joey: Oh... you got yourself a very weird deal!
Joey: Hey Pheebs! Listen, uh can you do me a favor? I forgot the pin number to my ATM card can, can you get it for me?
(Joey spots them and walks towards them)
Joey: No, eh, oh-oi, easy, it's not a hot dog!
Joey: Oh no-no, no-no I love living with you. It just seems that if youre gonna have a roommate, yknow it might as well be the father.
Joey: Oh! Hey! Thank God you guys are here!
Phoebe: Not Joey.
Joey: Come on, I'll show you guys where to check in (Joey, Chandler and David leave)
Joey: Hey guys!
Joey: (To Ross) Ill tell you about it later. Be cool.
Joey: Damnit!
Joey: Atta boy!
Joey: Hi! Im Dr. Drake Remoray and I have a few routine questions I need to ask you.
Joey: I dont know! Its not like its porn! This is a serious, legitimate movie. Yknow? And the nudity is really important to the story.
Joey: A widower.
[The next one is from Episode 512: The One With Chandlers Work Laugh, Joey and Phoebe are betting on who will reach the treat the fastest, the chick or the duck.]
Phoebe: Well, Ross does. What... You're - you're ruining the plan! Joey, you've - you've fixed him up with his perfect woman!
Joey: No. They really like me over there. They want to do a big profile on me, but I said no.
Joey: Its London, baby! All right, the hotels here. (Points to the map.) Wait. No, we wanna go No. I know. (Sets the map down.) Im gonna have to go into the map. (So Joey literally steps into the map.)
Joey: I'm so bored! Stupid rain, we... we can't do anything.
[Scene: The hall, full of paleontologists. Rachel and Joey are walking around]
Joeys Grandmother: More of Grandmas teramisu.
Joey: Kate Miller it is. (he picks up the Kate Miller badge and sticks it on Rachel's breast)
Joey: Not enough pills in the world, Rach. What about you, you're the single one, seen anybody in there you like?
Joey: Tell me who it is.
Joey: (eagerly) Yeah, who is that?
Rachel: Joey! (she walks away; Joey goes after her teasing and tickling her)
Joey: Come on who? Who do you like? Tell me. You're not getting away that easy. Who do you like, who?
Joey: Yeah.
Ross: Look, I gotta go pick up Ben. Everything so far sounds great Joey, just remember to keep it on the mellow side, okay? Just a couple of guys hanging out playing poker, no-no strippers or anything okay?
Joey: What? Why not? Rach, who can you not get?
Joey: Night.
Joey: Yeah. (they leave)
Rachel: Dont worry, were just gonna search here for an hour, them were gonna go over to Joeys and search, OK?
Monica: All right, well why dont I go out with an ex-boyfriend and do Joey a favor?!
Joey: Please, c'mon, you're the smartest person I know and I really like this girl, ok, I don't wanna lose her.
Joey: I met her at the library. I went in to pee.
Chandler: So do you think uh, Joeys more charming than me?
(Joey laughs)
Joey: No, he really said it.
Rachel: (gasps) Oh my God! Listen to you talkin about having kids. Oh my Joey. (She goes over and hugs him.) Oh, please dont get married before I do.
Joey: He said "erectus"!
Joey: Yeah, and so funny!
[Scene: Joey and Charlie's room]
Joey: Uh, okay Ill-Ill-Ill break it down. (He hands the phone to Phoebe, gets up, picks up a chair, and starts banging it on the floor.)
Joey: Yeah! A little bit, yeah...
Joey: (coming in from his bedroom) What is that?
Joey: Oh well, she said we have nothing in common.