words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Joey are sitting on the couch.]
Joey: Chandler, if it really hurts that bad you should just tell her.
Joey: Whoa, dude, look out! You almost crushed my hat! (He picks a hat up from the floor. It's one of those magician stovepipe hats.)
Chandler: (examining the hat) And the bunny got away. (Turns and starts looking for the bunny as Joey puts the hat on.)
Ross: (glaring at Joey) This would be the place where you explain the hat.
Joey: Oh! Yeah, look there's this play all right? And I'm up for the part of this real cool like suave international guy. A real clothes horse. So I figure that everyone at the audition is gonna be wearing this kinda y'know, ultra-hip, high fashion stuff.
Joey: Yeah, like you could find something as sophisticated as this.
Rachel: Joey, if you wanna look good, why don't you just come down to the store? I'll help you out.
Joey: Great! Thanks, Rach!
Joey: All right.
Joey: Are you all right?
Joey: Pheebs! Sorry!
Joey: Pheebs, I'm so sorry.
[Scene: Bloomingdale's, Rachel is fixing Joey up with some new clothes.]
Rachel: Okay now Joey, y'know that since you're returning all of this stuff right after the audition you're gonna have to wear underwear?
Joey: All right, then you'd better show me some of that too then.
Rachel: Okay, it's missing something. Ooh, I know! Umm, okay. (Goes and grabs a bag, that looks like a purse, and shows it to Joey.)
Joey: Really? A purse?
Joey: It looks like a women's purse.
Rachel: No Joey, look. Trust me, all the men are wearing them in the spring catalog. Look. (Shows him.) See look, men, carrying the bag.
Joey: See look, women, carrying the bag. (He puts it on his shoulder and looks at himself in the mirror and likes what he sees.) But it is odd how a women's purse looks good on me, a man.
Joey: Maybe you need sex. I had sex a couple days ago.
Rachel: No! No Joey! U-N-I-sex.
Joey: Well, I ain't gonna say no to that.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Chandler are on the couch as Joey enters with his new bag.]
Joey: Hey!
Joey: What? Are you referring to my man's bag? At first, I thought it just looked good, but it's practical too. Check it out! It's got compartments for all your stuff! Your wallet! Your keys! Your address book!
Rachel: (entering) Joey, what are you doing with the bag? You're audition is not until tomorrow.
Joey: Yeah, but sandwich time is right now. (Removes a sandwich and starts eating.)
Rachel: Joey, y'know you get any mustard on that bag, you can't return it.
Joey: Why would I return it? I love this bag!
Joey: Fine! Do you take Vasa or Mustercard? (He's holding the fake credit cards that come with the bag.)
Rachel: (glaring at him) Joey
Joey: All right relax, look I'll pay you with the money from the acting job I am definitely gonna get thanks to you.
Joey: U-N-I-sexy? (Smiles provocatively.)
Joey: Hey Pheebs, I'm so sorry.
Joey: Here, I brought you some flowers. (He pulls them out of the bag.)
Joey: (approaches, wearing his glasses) Hey you guys, check it out. Check it out. (Moves his hand towards and away from his face.) It's like it's coming right at me. (Chandler helps out a little bit by pushing on Joey's arm, which causes his hand to slap him in his face.)
Joey: What did you say to him?
Joey: (entering, with bag) Hey! I'm off to my audition. How do I look?
Joey: Y'know what? Make fun all you want. This is a great bag! Okay? And it's as handy as it is becoming. Now, just because you don't understand something, doesn't make it wrong. All right? So from now on you guys are gonna have to get used to the fact that Joey, (pats the bag) comes with a bag! (Exits.)
The Casting Director: Any time you're ready, Joey.
Joey: (reading from the script) Well, you must be new here. Why don't we get a table and I'll buy you a drink.
Joey: Yeah, sure. (He takes it off and starts reading.) Well, you must be new here. Maybe we shouldI'm sorry, can I ask you something? (He stops and asks a question.)
Joey: Well, first it's not a purse.
Joey: I mean if-if you're thinking it's a woman's bag, it's not. It's a man's bag!
Joey: All right look, let me show you the catalog! (Does so.) See? Huh? It's the latest thing! Everyone's got one! Men! Women! Children! Everyone's carrying them!
Joey: Noooo. No-no-no, these babies sell themselves.
Joey: Yeah but I didnt read anything.
Joey: Okay! All right, I'll see ya. (As he's walking off stage.) (Patting the bag.) We got it! We got it!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey returns from his audition and finds everyone but Phoebe there.]
Joey: (dejected) Hi.
Joey: Estelle said I didn't get it. (Sits down next to Rachel on the couch.)
Rachel: What?! Why? Joey you were so ready for it!
Joey: Yeah, I thought so too but, she said the casting people had some problems with me.
Joey: Well to tell you the truth, they uh, (Pause) they had a problem with the bag!
Joey: Y'know what? It was a stupid play anyway!
Monica: Y'know, Joey, I think it's time to give up the bag.
Joey: I don't wanna give up the bag. I don't have to give up the bag! Do I Rach? (She's avoiding his eyes.) Oh, you think I should give up the bag!
Rachel: Honey wait, Joey, Im sorry I mean as terrific as I think you are with it (Looks for help.)
Joey: I can't believe I'm hearing this!
Joey: Heyooh Pheebs, are they in there?
Joey and Monica: Are you all right?
(Joey and Monica rush over to her.)
Joey: (trying not to be obvious) Take the bra off.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler is at the bar and Joey enters.]
Joey: Hey! Youre here! Great! Great! Great! Lets get going buddy, weve got a scene to shoot!
Joey: Ross and Rachel left us a message saying they were getting married! Isnt that why you guys are here?
Joey: Okay. Table, you have given us so many great times. And you guys, Jordan, Victor, Joel... All of you guys. What can I say? You guys make us look good. You wanna say anything?
JOEY: Look, I don't wanna hear this right now.
Joey: Oooh, what you got there?
[Scene: Joeys work, selling Christmas trees.]
Joey: Yeah, so no one touches the remote. And no one touches the TV!
Joey: Probably not. Nah. I don't know how much I'm gonna wanna play after you go.
Joey: Nothing! Well, I-I got this blinding pain in my stomach when I was lifting weights before, then I uh passed out and uh, havent been able to stand up since. But um, I dont think its anything serious.
Joey: (to Chandler) Why would he turn off the TV? (Chandler shrugs.)
Joey: Yeah, well, I couldnt find any cards, so it was either this or Strip Bag Of Old Knitting Stuff.
Joey: Hey.
Joey and Chandler: (stopping her) Oh no-no-no-no!
Joey: Maybe he found you flip-flop.
Joey/Drake: Can you really live the rest of your life never knowing what we could have been?
[Scene: Monica's apartment continued... Phoebe, Chandler, Monica and Joey are sitting down and Ross is pacing up and down.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Joey are eating Thanksgiving dinner.]
Joey: Yeah right.
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Yeah, he likes porn.
Joey: Yeah, what were you trying to get her to do?!
Joey: You play hard to get.
Joey: Way to be strong, man!
JOEY: Phoebs, he's just a little dog. [turns back to the car window and the dog is halfway through it.] Ahhh.
Kathy: I'm sorry, you're right, I apologize, but I should tell you that I'm waiting for a date. (Joey enters) Oh, and there he is now.
Joey: (Holding a magazine) Wow! The new Playboy!
Joey: Yeah? Well look Ross, you don't have to. Okay? It's not your fault I suck. I mean what kind of an actor can't even say, "Hmm, noodle soup." (Nods his head in disgust.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Phoebe, and Ross are there eating pizza as Rachel enters.]
Joey: Wow! Thats pretty nice. I thought he cut off his ear cause he sucked. What else you got in there?
Joey: (pause) Nothing. No, nothing.
Joey: Okay, I see what's going on here.
JOEY: [opens the drapes] Hey, Ross! What are you doin'?
Joey: Hey.
Joey: Noo! Nothing!
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: (voice-over) Oh, and then Monica joked that she wouldnt go out with a guy like Chandler...
Joey: Thats kinda nice.
[Scene: Joey is back at Hayley's place after there date.]
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: One.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, (now) Joey is watching Baywatch, as Chandler enters from his bedroom.]
Joey: Yeah!!
Joey: I think youre right.
[Scene: Chandler and Joeys, Joey is drilling a hole in the wall and the drill comes out the other side really close to Chandlers head. Chandler then rushes out to talk to Joey.]
Rachel: Ooh, I just feel bad, I never vacuum. (She goes into Chandler and Joeys.)
Joey: Wow, Pheebs! That sounds great!
Joey: Pheebs! Youre blocking the porn! Look out!
(Joey closes the door behind her.)
Rachel: Joey, youre gonna have to stop rushing me, you know what? You dont get any dessert.
Joey: (To Chandler) Okay, this is it. Its my big fight scene coming up. (He looks over and Chandler and notices that hes asleep.)
Joey: Hey!
Joey: What do ya say? What do ya say?
Joey: Yeah. Sure. (They both half stand up, Joey pulls the neck of his sweater out, and Rachel looks down it to see his T-shirt.)
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Oh hey, here Pheebs. (He throws her the ball.)
Joey: No, but Im gonna!
JOEY: Seriously, you like it? This guy was sellin' them on 8th avenue and I looked at 'em and I though, you know what I don't have?
Rachel: Well Phoebe, we gotta do something! (They turn the corner.) Well, yknow. I mean theres no way Joeys gonna make it in time. So Im gonna through the hotel and see if theres any other weddings going on.
Joey: Someone you didnt make up!
Joey: That thing was a hazard! (To the potential roommate) Im very safety conscious.
Joey: (pause) Because Vincent, we were lovers. (Pause) For two years!
Joey: Yeah, that guy really hurt us.
Joey: So I guess its Joey then!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Chandler are entering, Joey is on the phone.]
Joey: No, an entertainment unit, with a mail cubby built right in. Its a one day job, max.
JOEY: [realizing what everyone else did a minute ago] Ooooooh.
Joey: Hey, so listen, I went across the street and talked to the doorman- I got the peeper's name! Can I use the phone?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is watching Wheel of Fortune, the puzzle is showing _oun_ Rush_ore.]
Joey: (approvingly) Oh! ok, yeah, I think I can do that. Yeah ok, there's this party scene coming up.. and Olivia and her husband are there and all Drake wants to do is grab her and kiss her, but he can't... And that makes me think about all those times when I wanted to grab you and kiss you, but you didn't know so I would just pretend everything was cool, but really, it was killing me.
Joey: Hey! I did not cry my eyes out!! Come on! Its like the end of an era! No more J-man and Channies!!
Joey: All right. Okay. Well this is the same kind of deal. If youre going to do something wrong, (He grabs two steaks from the freezer) do it right!
Joey: Ok all right, no, no, no, no, I do, I do, I do, I need your help, but Chandler I don�t know if I can take anymoreplucking. It hurts so bad!
Joey: Its not that bad.
Joey: So, youre just Bing?
Joey: See you later, Gene.
Joey: Dude, I am sorry about what I said!
Joey: Well. I guess you think youre pretty special huh? Sittin up here in your fancy small hall building. Makin stars jump through hoops for ya, huh? Well yknow what? (Throws the script away) This is one star whos hoop This is a star that the hoopthis hoopI was Dr. Drake Remoray!
Joey: Whats up with Gene?
EDDIE: Hey Chan, is that Joey guy gonna come by and pick up his moose hat or should I just toss it out?
Joey: (to Leslie) So ah, Phoebe tells us you write jingles.
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey is drinking coffee by the counter as Phoebe enters.]
Joey: Uhh, Pheebs, those are uh, those are Santa pants.
Joey: Yeah!
Joey: You have Knicks tickets?
Joey: Yeah, you do!
Joey: Come on!
Joey: Hey!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Monica are sitting at the table as Joey enters.]
Joey: We dont make enough fun of you already?
Joey: What?
Monica: Are you insane? I mean Joey, is going to kill you, hes actually going to kill you dead.
Joey: Yeah, it's like a cow's opinion. It just doesn't matter. It's moo.
Joey: Whoa!
[Back at the table. Joey and Ross return. Shortly, Chandler comes out, holding the stall door in front of him, and leaves.]
Joey: Huh.