words in movies
Rachel: (running from the guy's apartment with Joey in tow) Hey, what's-what's going on?!
Joey: (panicking) Dude! He's right there!
Ross: (happily) My best friend and my sister! I cannot believe this. (He hugs them both.) (To Joey and Rachel) You guys probably wanna get some hugs in too, huh? Big news!
Ross: What? What? What?! You guys knew? (Joey and Rachel backup against the door.) You all knew and you didn't tell me?!!
Joey: Okay, all right, whew! What do you say we all clear out of here and let these two lovebirds get back down to business? (Ross turns and glares at him.) Hey-hey-hey, I-I-I'm just talking here, he-he's the one doing your sister.
Joey: (quickly) I call Godfather!
Joey: Sure, if you cared enough to call it first.
Joey: (to her) Oh, hey Katie! Everyone, this is Katie.
Joey: So, are you ready to go?
Joey: Oh sure, right back there. (Points.)
Joey: I was thinking Chinese food.
(She heads to the bathroom and Joey sits back down.)
Joey: I don't know. I mean I like her a lot, and she's really nice, but
Joey: (shyly) She keeps punching me.
Joey: Hey, it's a lot harder than it looks! Okay? (Quietly) She-she-she's hurting me.
Chandler: Hey listen, come on, Joey is having a problem! A little girl is beating him up.
Rachel: Aww, Joey, come here. (She takes his hand.) Look honey, I know this must be really, really difficult for you and I--Oh, I'm sorry. Am I hurting you?
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is sitting on the couch with Katie.]
Katie: You were so funny with that waiter! You're such a nut! (She slaps her thighs, Joey jerks, and spills some of his coffee.)
Joey: (sets the coffee down) Y'know, breadstick fangs are always funny.
Joey: Uhh, look Katie, uh listen, we-we need to talk. Okay? Umm, look I like you. I-I really do, I like you a lot. Okay? But sometimes when you, when you playfully punch me like that it-it feels like someone's hitting me with a very tiny but very real bat.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is getting advice from Ross and Joey.]
Ross and Joey: Oh yeah, yeah, sure. Absolutely.
Joey: No-no.
Joey: Yeah, big!
Joey: Uh-oh, shht! The Misses.
(Chandler turns to watch her go and then sees Ross and Joey both with huge grimaces on their faces.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is getting some coffee as Joey enters. He's looking a little puffy, but that's probably from the large number of different color sweaters he's wearing.]
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Thanks! I've been working out. Hey listen, is it obvious that I'm wearing six sweaters?
Joey: Well look, Im breaking up with Katie so I had to put on some extra padding. Y'know? I mean, if she hits me when she's happy, can you imagine how hard she's gonna hit me when I tell her I'm taking away the Joey love?
Joey: Hey! Hiya!
Katie: Oh, thanks! That's so sweet! (She punches Rachel like she punched Joey.)
Rachel: Oh! Ow! (Joey motions, "You see what I mean?!")
Katie: Oh, ow! Did Joey tell you to say that? You guys, (Punches Joey) are too much! (Punches Rachel.)
Katie: Ohh, Joey has the nicest friends! (She punches Rachel.)
Katie: Oww!!!! Joey, she just kicked me.
Joey: Huh.
Joey: Uhh .
Joey: Nah.
(She looks at Rachel and storms out. After she's left Joey hugs Rachel in thanks.)
(Phoebe hides her eyes in shame. Rachel is starring at them wide-eyed and open-mouthed. Joey and Ross are stunned to temporary silence.)
Joey: What a bad idea!
Chandler: Yeah I know, but I was really confused and then I talked to these guys. (Turns to look at Ross and Joey.)
Monica: Who? Two divorces and Joey?!
Joey: She's right y'know.
Joey: Hey Ross, will you pass me that knife?
Joey: Oh, it's okay. You don't have to be so mean about it.
Joey: That's not funny at all!
Joey: Look, when everyone eats that...that...Banana-Meat thing, theyre all gonna make fun of her, do you want that?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Joey is entering to find Chandler waiting patiently for him.]
Joey: Oh, yeah, well I already did that! They said theyre gonna look into it right after they solved all the murders.
(As they approach the kitchen, the door opens and in walks in a Joey look-a-like.)
Joey: Nooooo!!! Y'know what? Now that I think about it, I constantly find myself without twenties and you always have lots!
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there as Chandler and Monica enter. Oh, and Joey is wearing a FDNY T-shirt to make this the first nod to the tragedy that Friends have made.]
Joey: Well, it's like, last night, I couldn't do the thing that usually makes me great. So I had to do all this other stuff. And the response I got... man, oh man, it was like a ticker tape parade!
Joey: Okay! Okay, look! You-you-you got Harrison Ford up there!
Joey: H-h-h-hows the duck?
Chandler: I dont know! Joey hasnt had this much trouble getting out words since we saw him in Macbeth!
Joey: Girls say it to me all the time! And believe me, if shes anything like me, shes just gonna be relieved.
Ross: Joey comeI cant believeI bring you here to see the Bapstein-King comet, one of natures most spectacular phenomenon, and all you care about are bugs stuck in tar and-and some woman!
Ross: Right, you're not even getting your honeymoon, God.. No, no, although, Aruba, this time of year... talk about your- (thinks) -big lizards... Anyway, if you don't feel like being alone tonight, Joey and Chandler are coming over to help me put together my new furniture.
Chandler: Joey kicked me out of the car on the George Washington bridge!
[Cut to Chandler and Joeys, Joey and Phoebe are watching TV. The TV is turning off and on, and each time Phoebe is blinking her eyes like the Genie did. The switch obviously controls the outlet which the TV is plugged into.]
(Chandler acts disgusted, but is happy that Joey has stopped snoring. However, just as he is about to leave, Joey starts snoring again. So to get him to stop, he slams the door shut, waking Joey.)
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica, Chandler, and Joey are seated at couches. Rachel is working behind the counter.]
Joey: Power saw kinda got away from me there.
Joey: (Smiling.) Ohh great!! (Putting the phone to his ear.) Hello. (He begins to escort her down the aisle.)
Rachel: But Joey the baby is going to be crying, its going to be loud.
Joey: I can give it a shot.
Joey: Hey, hey, hey, you're lucky I caught them when I did, or else who knows what woulda happened.
(Joey picks up and turns on a hair dryer.)
Rachel: Wow, y'know if Joey and Chandler walked in right now, we could make a fortune! (Monica is straddling Rachel and holding her arms down. In a rather risqu� pose, at least for primetime TV.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, time has lapsed, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler, and Monica are sitting at the kitchen table.]
Joey: Ooh. (Notices the pizza, grabs a slice, and takes a bite.) So umm, I was talkin to Ross and he said you were looking for a new place.
Joey: So, did you err... did you tell Ross?
Joey: Now he's movin'? Man, what is Emily doing to him? (Phoebe pinches him again.) Ow!! He's not even here!!!
Ross: I was really upset about Rachel and Paolo, and I think I had too much tequila, and Nora- um, Mrs. Mom- your Bing- was just being nice, y'know, and- But nothing happened, nothing- Ask Joey, Joey, uh, came in-
Joey: Judge rules, no violation.
Joey: All right, so. How did it go at the fertility clinic?
Joey: We were gonna go see the Jets!
Rachel: Joey, the new chair will be here in an hour. Maybe we should actually move Rosita out of here. Yknow, start the heeling process?
Joey: And whats cool is, the character is from Naples, right?
Joey: Dan just moved in downstairs. Yeah, he just got back from like this four-month trek in the Andes. Nice fella.
Joey: Ascot!
Joey: Well, were fashioning a very long poking device.
Joey: Oh, have either one of you guys ever been to the Rainbow Room? Is it real expensive?
Joey: Yeah! And you have so many more choices than you do with mens underwear!
Joey: I know, but Im a neurologist. And just to be on the safe side, Dr. Wells wanted a more comprehensive overview of you status so he sent me.
(Her and Joey walk away from the table.)
Joey: (yelling back) No you didn't! (turns and goes towards his room)
Charlie: It's just that... I don't understand it... I mean, Phoebe likes Joey and then she comes here to buy a dress to impress another guy...?
Joey: (opening an envelope) Theres like-theres like 300 bucks in this one!
Joey: Okay! (He scurries out the set door and re-enters, extremely impressed) All right!
Joey: Oh, it's easy. Yeah, I-I can do it with anything. Watch uh, (snaps his fingers and in a sexy voice) Grandma's chicken salad
[The next one is from Episode 604: The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance.]
Joey: Oh yeah, lava spewing, hot ash, of course some are dormant.
(They start kissing and turn around so that Chandler is facing the door. And Chandler sees Rachel, Phoebe, and Joey walk in and quickly ends the kiss with Monica.)
Joey: The fridge broke. I have to eat everything. Cold cuts, ice cream, limesHey, what was in that brown jar?
Joey: (to the waiter) Hey! Are those crab cakes? (The waiter nods) Did I not tell ya to come straight to me when more crab cakes were ready?
Joey: Oh wait, before you tell me what it is! (He plays a drum-roll) Okay, what is it?
Joey: All right, who got Chandler? Cause I uh, need to trade.
Joey: Ah, he cant make it, he said he had to his... (sees Ginger) Whoa-oh! (hides behind the coat rack.)
Joey: Look, theres nothing I can do for him right now, hes still in his sweat pants, thats still Phase One. Y'know? Ill be back for Phase Two, I would never miss Phase Two.
David: Bye Phoebe. (He gets in and the cab drives off. Joey walks up and witnesses that event.)
Joey: (abashed) A place to entertain my lady friends.
Ross: Okay, Pheebs: Right hand blue. (Phoebe has to bend over.)Good. (Joey stares at her butt appreciatively)
Joey: Hey!! I need to relax! Okay? I was working all day!
[Scene: A blackjack table, Joey is moving in to try and get his hand twin (who's dealing) to join him in his evil plot to rule the world! "Join me, and together we'll rule the universe as father and son!" (Sorry, I had a little Star Wars creep in thereOoh, I have a big spoiler for The Phantom Menace, Yoda lives at the end! Ha-ha, spoiled it! Now you don't have to see it!)]
Joey: (gesturing at an imaginary painting) Note the painterly lines and subtle impasto on this canvas. Monet painted quickly and usually outdoors as his elusive subject was light itself.
Chandler: Oh, just hanging out, talkin about uh, websites. (Joey laughs.) Yeah, we saw this really interesting website about marriage and how totally unnecessary it is and how its just a way for the government to keep tabs on you.
Joey: Hey, that woman's got an ass like Carol's! (They turn to stare at him.) What? Thought we were trying to find stuff.
Joey: Yeah. You know? You just... Look, you gotta... You gotta think about last night the way she does, okay? Maybe, maybe sleeping together was the perfect way to say goodbye?
Joey: Oh-whoa-hey, dude, what are you doing?!
Phoebe: (standing up) Okay, so umm, somebody has to call Frank and Alice. (As she is talking Joey is sticking the camera under her skirt.) And then my mom wants to know-(notices Joey)-Joey, what are you doing?!
Monica: Okay, all right, how's this? 27. Italian-American guy. He's an actor, born in Queens. Wow, big family, seven sisters, and he's the only....boy. (they all turn and look at Joey) Oh my God, under personal comments: 'New York Knicks, rule!'
Rachel: No! (Joey sets his beer and bag of chips down and heads into his room.) Oh what does he know! Come on Rosita, us chichas got to stick together! (She tries pulling on the back of the chair, until the hinge breaks and the back falls off.) You bitch!
Chandler: Joey ate my last stick of gum, so I killed him. Do you think that was wrong?
Joey: And the duck gets the Nutter-Butter!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Joey and Chandler are still deciding what to do about the hooker.]
Joey: I can fix it. Hold on. (He goes and gets a screwdriver from his apartment) Look out. Look out. (Pries at the door a little bit.)
(Chandler opens the bathroom door to reveal Joey passed out on the toilet with a toothbrush in his mouth.)
Rachel: Yknow Joey, I could teach you to sail if you want.
Joey: Uh yeah-ye-ye-ye-ye-yel-l-l-l-l-look the-the-the only reason that I, that I came up to you before was because well, Im really nervous about-about being you. Yknow if you can help me capture the essence of the character. Yknow? Help me keep Jessica alive. Please?
Joey: I know! I know! It turns out that one of the casting ladies has actually seen me in a play, so I steered clear of her
Joey: Uh, it's 2:30 in the morning!
Joey: Something called Braxton-Hicks contractions.
Joey: (looking in the Yellow Pages) Look, maybe I need to try a real teacher! Right here! Here! Andy Cooper, he teaches guitar and look ooh, there's a nice picture of him with a little kid and THE KID'S GOT A GUITAR!!!!!! (Storms out.)
Joey: (crying) You didnt cry when Bambis mother died?
(Joey finishes climbing the stairs and sees them. Chandler and Rachel both stop and look up at him. Joey sits down on the step.)
(The chain breaks loose from the wall, and because Joey was pushing with all his might, he propells into the kitchen, towards the table with all the food. This table has wheels underneath it, and when Joey falls on this table, he rides into the living room, with all the food falling off, until finally Joey also falls off... Joey gets up quickly, a bit agitated, and acting as nothing happened. He is covered in food stains.)
Ross: Maybe it was both of us, but we had our best friend's interest (Pauses and looks at Joey.) But we had our best friend's interest at heart.
Joey: (to himself) That's the fastest I have ever thought!
Joey: (to Erin) Okay, good to see you again.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Joey are sitting in their recliners watching TV. Monica, Ross, and Phoebe are there.]
Joey: Aw! Does that mean the Sam Goodys sale is over?!
Joey: All right look man, I didnt want to bring this up, but Chandler, is the stupidest name I ever heard in my life! Its not even a name; its barely even a word. Okay? Its kinda like chandelier, but its not! All right? Its a stupid, stupid non-name!
Joey: I want the drugs Ross, I want the drugs! (He starts rocking back and forth, taking Ross with him.)
Joey: Hey hey! You dye your hair!
Joey: Ms. Monroe (She slaps him) Oh there you go. (She storms off, leaving Joey standing next to Dina. They share a nod at the ferocity of the slap they just received.)
Joey: Well do it all, and better! Look, after tonight, Gandolf will want to party with us, dude! Come on!
Monica: (entering, to Joey and Rachel) Hey, did you guys know, that your oven doesn't work?
Grandma Tribbiani: Joey, bravo! (Starts with that Italian stuff again.)
Joey: Yeah, yeah, they must have jumped off the table, 'cause now they're gone!
[Scene: Chandler and Joeys, they are admiring the entertainment center]
Joey: Youre right. Youre right. I-Ill go tell her now before Ross finds out and Ill be gentle. I can do that. I am a gentle person. Oh, by the way. Two people screwing in there (Points to the closet Chandler and Monica were in) if you want to check that out.
Joey: (hanging up the phone) Yes! Guess who's in an audition for a Broadway musical?
Ross: Oh, I'm sorry, did I say "invest it"? I meant "be cool and piss it all away" (Joey and Chandler pleased)
Joey: Um, sure! Did you, uh, did you try turning the knob back the other way?