words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Joey are sitting at the bar, in their bathrobes, eating cereal]
JOEY: Man this is weird. You ever realize Captain Crunch's eyebrows are actually on his hat?
CHANDLER: That's what's weird? Joey, the man's been captain of a cereal for the last 40 years.
[Joey finishes his cereal, licks his spoon, and puts it back in the silverware drawer.]
JOEY: What?
JOEY: Yeah, so.
CHANDLER: Well don't you see how gross that is? I mean that's like you using my toothbrush. [Joey gets a sheepish look] You used my toothbrush?
JOEY: Well, that was only 'cause I used the red one to unclog the drain.
JOEY: Hey, why can't we use the same toothbrush, but we can use the same soap?
JOEY: Alright, well next time you take a shower, think about the last thing I wash and the first thing you wash.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Phoebe are sitting at the table, Joey and Chandler enter.]
JOEY: Hey.
JOEY: Well, you know that guy that's on my show that's in a coma? He's havin' a brunch.
JOEY: Wow, this is wild. What're you gonna get?
JOEY: So where you gettin' it?
JOEY: Oh, is today the day you're gonna tell them about you two?
[Scene: Joey's co-star's apartment. Chandler and Joey are at the brunch.]
JOEY: Can you believe this place?
JOEY: Ah, I was just in the bathroom, and there's mirrors on both sides of you. So when you're in there it's like you're peein' with the Rockettes.
JOEY: Hey! We were just sayin', great apartment man.
JOEY: Huh?
JOEY: Yeah, can you see me in a place like this?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Joey are returning from their brunch.]
JOEY: Can we drop this? I am not interested in the guy's apartment.
JOEY: Why would I want another apartment, huh? I've already got an apartment that I love.
JOEY: Alright, you want the truth? I'm thinkin' about it.
JOEY: I'm sorry. I'm 28 years old, I've never lived alone, and I'm finally at a place where I've got enough money that I don't need a roommate anymore.
JOEY: What're you gettin' so bent out of shape for, huh? It's not like we agreed to live together forever. We're not Bert and Ernie.
JOEY: Well that's how I feel.
JOEY: Well then maybe I will.
JOEY: Great. Then you'll be able to spend more quality time with your real friends, the spoons.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler is at the bar and Joey enters.]
JOEY: Hey.
JOEY: Hey listen, I'm sorry about what happened. . .
JOEY: I know. Yeah.
JOEY: No, we're alright.
CHANDLER: So I got ya something. [tosses Joey a bag of plastic spoons]
JOEY: Plastic spoons. Great.
JOEY: These'll go great in my new place. You know, 'till I get real ones.
JOEY: Well, I can't use these forever. I mean, let's face it, they're no friend to the environment.
JOEY: I'm movin' out like we talked about.
JOEY: Well, it was a fight. . . based on serious stuff, remember. About how I never lived alone or anything. I just think it would be good for me, ya know, help me to grow or. . . whatever.
JOEY: Hey, are you cool with this. I mean, I don't want to leave you high and dry.
JOEY: Woah. Why do you get to keep the table?
JOEY: Yeah. And uh, I paid for the other half.
JOEY: Alright, you're on. I can take two minutes out of my day to kick your ass.
JOEY: Woah, woah, woah, woah. Which sister?
[Scene: Chandler's apartment. Chandler and Joey are playing foosball for the table.]
JOEY: Get out of the corner. Pass it, pass it.
CHANDLER: Stop talkin' to your men. [Joey scores]
JOEY: Yes! And the table is mine.
[Scene: Chandler's apartment. The whole gang is helping Joey pack.]
JOEY: Hey, you guys are still gonna come visit me, right?
JOEY: Oh no-no, it's uh, it's not what you think. We uh, we used it to, you know, fling water balloons off the roof. Remember that, those junior high kids couldn't even get theirs accross the street.
[Everyone except Joey and Chandler leave.]
JOEY: Naa, you keep it, you need the practice.
JOEY: So, I guess this is it.
[Joey walks to the door. He stops, turns around.]
JOEY: Listen, uh, I don't know when I'm gonna see you again. CHANDLER: Well, I'm guessing uh, tonight at the coffee house. JOEY: Right, yeah. OK. Um, take care. CHANDLER: Yeah. [Joey walks out and after a few seconds comes back in and gives Chandler a big hug. He then leaves for good and Chandler is left alone in his apartment.] CLOSING CREDITS
Joey: Y'know, I've done nothing but crappy plays for six years. And I finally get my shot, and I blow it!
Joey: Oh my God! I didn�t feel a thing ! Hey, are you still looking for a job because you can tweeze circles aroundthat sadistic bitch at the saloon
Rachel: Well, believe it or not, it's true. When Joey and I were together, he was wonderful. He was thoughtful and mature. And for the one week that we went out, he didn't sleep with anybody else!
Joey: (on the other end at a pay phone) Hey, its me. Listen Casey and I were on our way back and had a little car trouble.
Joey: Ohhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!
The Casting Director: Any time you're ready, Joey.
(They leave as Ross stares in awe at Joey.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey enters, amongst snickers from the gang.]
Joey: Yeah, I guess. It's just parents, after a certain point, you gotta let go. Even if you know better, you've gotta let them make their own mistakes.
Joey: Thank you.
Joey: So what're you going to do?
Joey: I don't know. What are you wearing?
Monica: (to Rachel) Hey! Joey said no autographs! But if she's gettting one, then I want one too: To Monica. And none of this "best wishes" crap. I want "love".
(Joey reluctantly gives him the cigarette.)
Monica: (faking joy. Rubbing her stomach and smiling at the same time, like Joey said) Mmmm! Its good!
Rachel: Joey no, this is wrong! You have to take it back, okay? You dont want to win an award this way. Youre very talented. And someday youre gonna win one of these for real and that one is gonna mean something.
JOEY: Great, well, I'm happy for ya. [picks up the orange juice carton and it's empty] Alright that's it. He just comes in here, Mr. Jonny Neweggs, with his, his, his movin' the mail and his, his 'see ya pals'. And now there's no juice. There's no juice f or the people who need the juice and want the juice. I need the juice.
Monica: (to Joey) OK, try this salmon mousse.
Joey: (tasting) Mmmm. Good.
JOEY: Pretty good. It's like you said. It's mostly just putting numbers from one column into another column.
Joey: Uh-oh.
Joey: Hey, hey, Chan. She could work for you.
Joey: Hey, can I ask you something? In this, in this picture of you and your wife, is your wife Rachel?
Joey: Hey! Samboucha Margarita?
Joey: Why not? Come on! Just, just close your eyes and tell me what you'd like to be doing right now.
Ross: Joey, please.
Joey: Alright, now you say something.
Joey: ....yeah... what else?
Joey: You want to see her again, right?
Joey: There you go! Keep going. Keep going!
Joey: Come on! You like this woman, right?
Joey: Say it... say it!
Joey: I kn-I know! I know! Okay? And apparently tomorrow when I go in to meet the director I have to take off my clothes so that they can see what my body looks like.
Joey: You're not going to believe this!
Joey: Oh, but hey look, at least let us bring the wine.
Joey: Yeah well next thing you know, hell be telling you that your high heels are good for his posture!
Joey: Hi, uh, I'll be reading for the role of Mercutio.
Joey: All right, Ross!
Joey: What a tool!
Joey: Yeah, where the hell is he?
Joey: Does it have to be a whole day?
Joey: No, no... how come you are working here?
Joey: (entering) All right! Hey, who wants pizza?!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is helping Joey rehearse for a part.]
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Nope.
Joey: Hey Pheebs, guess who we saw today.
Joey: I dont care. Phoebes Phoebe. Ursulas... hot!
Joey: (getting out) Awww, man! He promised he wouldnt take the chairs!!
Joey: Nope.
[Scene: The New School, Monica, carrying her dish, and Joey are confronting the food critic.]
Joey: Hold on. Hold on. (Picking up a note pad and writing and reading the message aloud.) Rachel coming. Do...Something.
Joey: Well, I had the audition but Gunther said I had to stay here and be in charge so he could go get his hair dyed. So, I went anyway, and then he fired me.
Joey: Hard to tell, they're so tiny and upside-down. Wait, wait. They're walking away... they're walking away... No, no they're not, they're coming right at us! Run! Run!
(They grab the luggage and drag it into Joey and Rachels forcing Monica and Chandler to follow.)
Rachel: Joey? Could you get that? (There is no answer and she goes and opens the door to Joey.) What are you doing here? I thought you were in your room?
Joey: It's like the cheapest college ever.
Joey: That's what this is about! Oh my God, you hate Ross!
Joey: Pheebs?
Joey: You think it would be okay if I asked out your sister?
Joey: She is so hot!
Joey: Cool, thanks.
Joey: He hooked up!! Tell us about her!
Chandler: Yeah, listen, Joey isn't gonna be here tonight so why don't you come over and I'll let you uh, feel my bicep. Or maybe more.
Joey: Loud and clear! (Mouths, "Youll show me," and nods.)
(They all laugh and Joey joins them, not to be left out. When the laughing dies down, he has a depressed look on his face.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is lamenting to everyone about hid dad's affair.]
(He exits and starts to walk away, passes a window, stops, and says "Rachel?!" again. Joey sighs and turns around to face Gunther.)
Joey: Yeah. You're ten times prettier than she is.
Joey: Hey.
Chandler: Not like that, I won't! (pauses) Kip would have liked the birds! (Joey turns and gives Chandler a dirty look)
Rachel: (waving them in his face) Take 'em! (Joey makes a noise and jumps out of the way.) Joey, you can touch them! They're your underwear.
Joey: How young is young Ethan? Young?
Joey: So Monica, still going out with Dr. Boring huh?
Joey: Hey, Phoebe, I asked you, and you said it was okay.
Chandler: Oh yeah, I just showed this a picture of you and guys were throwing themselves at me! Theyre buying me drinks! Theyre giving me stuff! (to Joey) Knicks tonight?
Chandler: (watches Joey for a moment) Okay! (Joey quickly moves the hockey stick so that hes scratching his back with it.) Listen, Im gonna be moving out so you will be in charge of paying the rent.
Joey: Okay... Well maybe now Im not okay with it not being okay.
Joey: Out.
Joey: You meant sex, right?
(Joey nods his head.)
Rachel: (running from the guy's apartment with Joey in tow) Hey, what's-what's going on?!
Joey and Chandler: We already knew that! (they hug)
Monica: Hon, you gotta talk to Joey.
JOEY: Phoebe here with the cab yet?
[Scene: Delmonico's restaurant. Ross and Joey are sitting at a table for four. The waiter is pouring water in their glasses.]
Joey: Hey! That must be why I got fired last week! Does this Orson Wells guy direct Burger King commercials?
(Janice kisses Joey all over. Chandler smiles.)
Dina: I cant believe shes really gone. Look around you, all of this is ours. (They move into kiss but; theyre stopped by Joey entering with a huge bandage wrapped around his head.)
Chandler: (pours more and slides the refill to Joey) All right, say you do that. You know sooner or later somebody's gonna come along that slices a better cheddar. And then where're you gonna run?
Chandler and Joey: That's nice.
Joey: Uh no Rach, hes gone. But listen, he told us what happened and it does, it sounds like an honest mistake.
(Rachel slams shut her window and storms into the living room, where Joey and Monica are eating breakfast.)
Joey: Oh, man. What're the odds of that happening?
Joey: He should take the sack?
Joey: Yeah, but, hey look, dont go through her stuff. She gets really mad.(Chandler gives him a look and walks to the door of his old room.)
Joey: Ahhhhhh, I didn't get the job.
Chandler: All right, Ross, I just have to do one thing, really quickly, it's not a big deal. (yells at Joey) GET UP!!
Joey: Check it out, Giants-Cowboys. (He has a pocket TV)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, later that same day. Joey and Chandler are eating pizza, and Phoebe is trying to knit something.]