words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Joey are sitting at the bar, in their bathrobes, eating cereal]
JOEY: Man this is weird. You ever realize Captain Crunch's eyebrows are actually on his hat?
CHANDLER: That's what's weird? Joey, the man's been captain of a cereal for the last 40 years.
[Joey finishes his cereal, licks his spoon, and puts it back in the silverware drawer.]
JOEY: What?
JOEY: Yeah, so.
CHANDLER: Well don't you see how gross that is? I mean that's like you using my toothbrush. [Joey gets a sheepish look] You used my toothbrush?
JOEY: Well, that was only 'cause I used the red one to unclog the drain.
JOEY: Hey, why can't we use the same toothbrush, but we can use the same soap?
JOEY: Alright, well next time you take a shower, think about the last thing I wash and the first thing you wash.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Phoebe are sitting at the table, Joey and Chandler enter.]
JOEY: Hey.
JOEY: Well, you know that guy that's on my show that's in a coma? He's havin' a brunch.
JOEY: Wow, this is wild. What're you gonna get?
JOEY: So where you gettin' it?
JOEY: Oh, is today the day you're gonna tell them about you two?
[Scene: Joey's co-star's apartment. Chandler and Joey are at the brunch.]
JOEY: Can you believe this place?
JOEY: Ah, I was just in the bathroom, and there's mirrors on both sides of you. So when you're in there it's like you're peein' with the Rockettes.
JOEY: Hey! We were just sayin', great apartment man.
JOEY: Huh?
JOEY: Yeah, can you see me in a place like this?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Joey are returning from their brunch.]
JOEY: Can we drop this? I am not interested in the guy's apartment.
JOEY: Why would I want another apartment, huh? I've already got an apartment that I love.
JOEY: Alright, you want the truth? I'm thinkin' about it.
JOEY: I'm sorry. I'm 28 years old, I've never lived alone, and I'm finally at a place where I've got enough money that I don't need a roommate anymore.
JOEY: What're you gettin' so bent out of shape for, huh? It's not like we agreed to live together forever. We're not Bert and Ernie.
JOEY: Well that's how I feel.
JOEY: Well then maybe I will.
JOEY: Great. Then you'll be able to spend more quality time with your real friends, the spoons.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler is at the bar and Joey enters.]
JOEY: Hey.
JOEY: Hey listen, I'm sorry about what happened. . .
JOEY: I know. Yeah.
JOEY: No, we're alright.
CHANDLER: So I got ya something. [tosses Joey a bag of plastic spoons]
JOEY: Plastic spoons. Great.
JOEY: These'll go great in my new place. You know, 'till I get real ones.
JOEY: Well, I can't use these forever. I mean, let's face it, they're no friend to the environment.
JOEY: I'm movin' out like we talked about.
JOEY: Well, it was a fight. . . based on serious stuff, remember. About how I never lived alone or anything. I just think it would be good for me, ya know, help me to grow or. . . whatever.
JOEY: Hey, are you cool with this. I mean, I don't want to leave you high and dry.
JOEY: Woah. Why do you get to keep the table?
JOEY: Yeah. And uh, I paid for the other half.
JOEY: Alright, you're on. I can take two minutes out of my day to kick your ass.
JOEY: Woah, woah, woah, woah. Which sister?
[Scene: Chandler's apartment. Chandler and Joey are playing foosball for the table.]
JOEY: Get out of the corner. Pass it, pass it.
CHANDLER: Stop talkin' to your men. [Joey scores]
JOEY: Yes! And the table is mine.
[Scene: Chandler's apartment. The whole gang is helping Joey pack.]
JOEY: Hey, you guys are still gonna come visit me, right?
JOEY: Oh no-no, it's uh, it's not what you think. We uh, we used it to, you know, fling water balloons off the roof. Remember that, those junior high kids couldn't even get theirs accross the street.
[Everyone except Joey and Chandler leave.]
JOEY: Naa, you keep it, you need the practice.
JOEY: So, I guess this is it.
[Joey walks to the door. He stops, turns around.]
JOEY: Listen, uh, I don't know when I'm gonna see you again. CHANDLER: Well, I'm guessing uh, tonight at the coffee house. JOEY: Right, yeah. OK. Um, take care. CHANDLER: Yeah. [Joey walks out and after a few seconds comes back in and gives Chandler a big hug. He then leaves for good and Chandler is left alone in his apartment.] CLOSING CREDITS
Joey: Hey! Tag's still talking to the police.
[Joey stands up again. Rachel enters the door]
[Rachel walks past Joey towards the couch]
Joey: All right well, Id better take that back.
Joey: If you said it like that, you probably did, yeah.
Joey: Erin! Still here!
Joey: Huh, Rach I got to say its gonna take a lot of money for me to go out on a date with a dude.
Rachel: Well Joey, I hate to admit it, your way of sailing is a lot more fun.
Joey: Rach, there is a decent place to
Joey: Hey.
Joey: Fine! All right, Ill do it. But hey! You guys have to be at the next table so you can stop me if I yknow, start to say something stupid.
Joey: Well, first it's not a purse.
Monica: Joey!!
[Scene: The Animal Hospital, the guys have taken the duck in to remove the ring. Joey is pacing around like an expectant father.]
Joey: Yeah?
Chandler: Well, either that or uh (Motions towards Joeys door.)
Joey: Hey Pheebs?
Joey: Yeah-yeah I like that but just to go in another direction
Joey: (about to cry) Those two only had each other!
Joey: Youre right. Maybe I shouldnt even go on the call back.
Joey: Hey Rach?
Rachel: Oh my God! Joey!
Joey: Wait-wait-wait-wait! (To Chandler) Come on! Come on, lets trade! The timings perfect, I just clogged the toilet!
(Joey laughs nervously and goes to his bedroom.)
Joey: Yeah right! (Gets up for a refill to his snow cone.)
Joey and Chandler: Yeah, thats her.
Ross: Joeys asking if youve just ruined the first book hes ever loved that didnt star Jack Nicholson?
Joey: Oh, very funny. I dont know if you remember, but my audition was supposed to be Thursday. (Chandler doesnt say anything until Joey figures it out.) You got me the audition?! Lets hug it up! (They hug.)
Monica: Oh, you really want to talk about getting people to like you huh, funny man? (Joey laughs but stops when Chandler turns to glare at him.)
Joey: No way! I've been going to the guy for 12 years.
Joey: We don't? We really should. From now on, 'Bert' will be our code word for danger.
Joey: (Confused.) But, he loves Emily?
Chandler: Joey!
Joey: Whats up buddy?
Joey: Waiting for candy.
Joey: Yeah lady! Give us candy!!
Joey's Hand Twin: (To Joey) If you leave now, I will chop off my hand and give it too you!
Joey: (entering) Hey!
Joey: I just wanted to come by and yknow, wish you good luck on your date.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is eating cereal from a bowl she has balanced on her stomach as Joey, Chandler, and Monica return.]
Ross: All right. (Reading.) A room. A man enters, he looks suspicious. (Stops reading a flips the page to find the next one is blank.) That's it? (Joey shrugs.) Joey, you're supposed to have five pages done by now! Including an exciting incident! (Flipping through the rest of the pad.) And what is, and what is all this?! (Reading.) The official rulebook of Fireball.
Bobby: You bet I am! (To Joey) And to answer your earlier question, were straight-up gangster rap. (Joey shakes his head as if hes about to lose it.)
(Joey thinks that sounds familiar, but dismisses the thought.)
ROSS: Joey, you owe $1100 at I Love Lucite.
Joey: Who cares?! I-Ill make payments, whatever it takes, I want the Mr. Bowmont!!
Joey: Yeah. What time are you meeting her?
Joey: A little uh, good deed for PBS and a little TV exposure, now that's the kind of math Joey likes to do!
Joey: Let me know about that coconut phone, it might great for the boat.
Joey: You mean how they're friends and nothing more? (Glares at Rachel.)
Joey: (yelling) No! Drums!
(Rachel heads for Joey and Chandler's and Phoebe heads for the kitchen to find Ross.)
Joey: Wow, thats in like 20 minutes. Youd better get dressed.
Joey: (walking to a table with many badges on it) I know we're not, but (he picks up a badge) Frank Medeio and... (picks up another badge) Eva Trorro... womba...
Joey: Oh. Well good! (To himself) For me. (He picks up a jar of lotion.) What is this? Did you give yourself a facial?
Joey: Rach! Rachel! Okay, the next highest bidder is at table one.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is there as Tag enters carrying a bag.]
Joey: Hey-hey, Pheebs, check it out, we already learned a song. (To Rachel) Ready? One, two, three, four...
Rachel and Joey: Tequila!!
Joey: Hit me! (He does so.) Ohh man! (Joey busts and loses all the money, but when the dealer starts to collect the cards Joey notices something.) Wait! (He holds his hand next to the dealer's hand.)
Rachel: Joey, yknow that you could just not throw the sticks up in the air.
Joey: What youdont hold it like that! Youre lettin all the good stuff fall out.
Joey: What is Rock 'n' Roll about that?
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is getting a phone number from a woman (Casey) as Chandler watches from the doorway.]
Joey: Ugh. Now if a cow should die of natural causes, I can have one of those right?
Phoebe: Because you would rather live here with Joey.
Monica: Joey, youre this guys teacher. I mean how could you do this?
Joey: Okay dude! (Finds a receit.) Hey you uh, you sent Kristen flowers.
Ross: Because its the highest. (Joey shrugs his shoulders) Okay, Rachel youre up first. (Rachel stands up and gets ready.) Situation No. 1: Youre with Monica, the wedding is about to start when Monica gets cold feet. Go! (Joey is playing the part of Monica.)
Joey: Yeah, and I met this really hot single mom at the store. What's an elf to do?
Joey: You spent a hundred dollars. Thats the limit. Youre screwed!
Rachel: Phoebe, its okay. I like living with Joey.
Joey: I got this pair marked excess, I gotta tell ya, there was no room for excess anything in there.
Rachel: Joey, would you just come out here and stop being such a baby!
Joey: Cage closed?
Joey: (yelling from the bedroom) Is it back in the cage?
Joey: Oh-oh! So thats the way its gonna be huh? Yeah I can break the rules too yknow!
Phoebe: Okay. (Joey exits.)
Joey: Ill see you at 8:00.
Joey: (To the gang) Hey, no matter what happens with Ross and Emily, we still get cake right?
Joey: Yeah, yeah. Hey, why dont you give a pull on that rope? (Points.)
Phoebe: Well, Ill tell you Rachel Karen Green, I had plans with Joey tonight and he left me this note. (Hands it to Rachel.)
Joey: (entering) Hey!
Joey: I dont know.
Joey: The RossIs that back?!! (Chandler motions no.)
JOEY: You know it's funny you should mention that 'cause I was thinkin'... what's with the boxes?
Joey: Hey.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment, Joey is trying to turn the sofabed back into a sofa. Someone knocks on the door and it rears up at him.]
Joey: (smiling) That sounds fair.
Monica: Joey, that papers like a year old!
Joey: Yknow what Ross? Im not gonna let you get away with this!
Joey: I'm sorry Pheebs, I just, y'know, I just wanted to do a good deed. Like-like you did with the babies.
Ross: Yeah, why would it be weird? Hey, Joey, can I get some coffee?
Joey: Well well see!
Joey: (entering wearing a Superman costume) Merry Christmas!
Phoebe: Well, I have plans with Joey tonight.
Joey: What?! Tonight?!
Joey: (entering) Hey!
Joey: (seeing what theyre doing) What do you got there?
Joey: Huh? Uh (He starts taking off his pants.)
Joey: She made me switch to light Mayo. Thats it! Thats all I got! And, you know what? It tastes the same and my pants fit better!