words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, has split up his newspaper so Joey can look at the funnies, while Ross's inappropriate joke at Lamaze class has come back to haunt him.]
Chandler and Joey: That's nice.
Joey: Tampa Bay's got a terrible team.
Joey: He should take the sack?
Joey: Yeah, Ross. You and the baby just need better blocking.
Joey: Oh, have either one of you guys ever been to the Rainbow Room? Is it real expensive?
Joey: I'm takin' Ursula tonight. It's her birthday.
Joey: When's that?
Joey: Oh, man. What're the odds of that happening?
(Joey begins to contemplate his ill fortune.)
(Joey looks at his friends, thinks a bit more, then realises.)
Joey: What can I do? Look, I don't want to do anything to screw it up with Ursula.
Joey: Well, if she's my friend, hopefully she'll understand. I mean, wouldn't you guys?
(Joey gestures to show that he wouldn't dare...)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone but Joey is waiting for Phoebe to arrive for her surprise birthday party. Rachel and Monica is telling Chandler about Rachel's incident.]
Phoebe: (Delighted) oh, oh, oh! This is so great! Oh my god! This was not at all scary. Hi everybody. Hi Betty! Betty, Hi! (Thrilled) You found Betty! Oh my god! (Hugging people) This is great. Everybody I love is in the same room, (still happy) Where's Joey?
Joey: (entering quietly) Hey.
Joey: Your sister stood me up the other night.
Joey: I've been trying for two days. When I called the restaurant, they said she was too busy to talk. I can't believe she's blowin' me off.
(Phoebe wants to be angry with Joey, but as she watches him shaking his head in pain and disbelief, she knows that it isn't his fault.)
Phoebe: So... What's the deal with umm, you and Joey?
Phoebe: Joey. You know, um, he's really nutsy about you.
Phoebe: No, Joey.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is playing "She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not" with the petals of a flower, alternately looking hopeful and annoyed. Phoebe enters, but not as herself, for she has changed the style of her hair and make-up to match that of her twin sister. She hangs up her coat, revealing her new cardigan. Nervously, she smooths out the identifying garment, approaching Joey who sits next to the main sofa.]
Joey: Urse...
Joey: ..ah, what're you doing here? I've been trying to call you.
Joey: No, no, no, don't say "listen." I know that "listen." I've said that "listen."
Joey: I don't get it. What happened? What about everything you said under the bridge?
Joey: You don't drink.
Joey: Oh, Urse... (He tries to take her in his arms, but she fends him off.)
Joey: Why? Is it because I'm friends with Phoebe?
Joey: (Thinking carefully) no. No, I, I couldn't do that.
Joey: Then, uh, then I'm sorry.
Joey: I know...
Joey: I don't know whether it's just 'cause we're breakin' up or... what, but you have never looked so beautiful.
(Phoebe smiles, when Joey takes her face in his hands and kisses her. Joey gets up to leave but stops suddenly. Phoebe silently shouts "Oh, whoa!!" to herself, and leans back in the sofa to recover, a hand to her tingling lips. A thoughtful Joey is also feeling his lips, so he hesitates for a moment, then returns for a better view, he thinks again, cocking his head from side to side to regard her profile from various angles, then...)
Joey: Pheebs?
(The door bursts open, and Joey and Phoebe rush in.)
Joey: We just got the message.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone except Joey is there. Rachel is looking out of the window and Ross is handing out some Chinese takeout. There's a small SAP in the corner of the screen.]
(Joey enters, happy again.)
All: �Hola, Joey! (Hi, Joey!)
Joey: �Hola, amigos! (Hey, everybody!)
Joey: Her answer machine?
Joey: Okay, the next situation is for Rachel. The wedding is about to start you walk into the back room and you find Monica taking a nap with Ross. (Ross lies on the floor.) Ill be Monica. Go! (He jumps down and cuddles up with Ross.)
Joey: Oh-Wha-Ho! What are you middle naming me for?! I left you a note!
Rachel: So hot I cried myself to sleep last night. (Joey and Chandler clap their hands)
Joey: Two thousand dollars!? What do you think I am? I soap opera star!?
Joey: Yeah, yeah, okay. Uh, look buddy, I came with that girl, and I had this plan to kiss her at the new years countdown Im trying to win her over, so I was wondering if..
Joey: Will you grow up? I'm not talking about sexy stuff, but, like, when I'm cooking naked.
Joey: Oh, great, pretty soon they'll be back together.
Joey: Maybe she never got your message.
Joey: Hey! No! Get your France-going-arms away from me. (He walks out, and Rachel follows him)
(Joey and Ross laughs)
Joey: No I mean it! I cant believe they would do this to you! And to your fans! I mean they are going to be devastated! Heart broken! They love you so much!
Joey: ..Naughty!
Joey: (intrigued) Yeah?
(Joey exits.)
(Chandler seeing that Joey has his eyes closed sneaks over and picks up the chicken. The chicken starts flapping it's wings in protest as Chandler holds the chicken inches from Joey's face. Joey stops yelling and upon opening his eyes sees the chicken, screams, and falls to the ground in horror.)
(Joey and Ross laughs)
Phoebe: Tiger! (Joey moves his hand in an attempt to do the chord, in fact he does it with each name.) Dragon! Iceberg!! (He fails.) Joseph, did you even study at all last night?
Joey: Absolutely! I could be a vegetarian. Theres no meat in beer, right?
Joey: If you get a second, find out where she got that cheeseburger.
Joey: Oh yeah, sure, that makes sense. Yeah. Cause you already told her you love her and she didnt say it back, then she called you and told you that theres another guy, so yeah, go to London thatll scare her!
(They hug and Joey enters.)
Joey: Oh... Yeah, you do.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey returns from his audition and finds everyone but Phoebe there.]
Monica: Joey!!
(Phoebe, Joey and Ross laughs)
JOEY: If it's not you, this is a horrible story.
Phoebe: Okay, time to bring up the rest of the cups. (She goes and opens the door to Joey.) Oh, hi Joey!
(Phoebe, Joey and Ross laughs again)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone except Joey is decorating for Christmas.]
Charlton Heston: Hello! Whos in there? (He opens to curtain to reveal a naked and wet Joey.)
Joey: Big day.
(Joey and Chandler laughs)
(Ross gets up and goes over to the counter and Joey follows him.)
Joey: I dont know. I like her, you know. Shes different. Theres uh, somethin about her.
Chandler: Well, that's what we said about Joey...
Joey: Well, let me ask you something, was Kip a better roommate than me?
Joey: Uh, de-clawing cats. Hey, tell ya what. Let me walk you home. Well stop by every news stand and burn every copy of their Times and the Post.
Joey: Chandler... hey... (he goes towards his room but he stops near Emma's cot) Rach... what's Hugsy doin' in the crib with Emma? (he looks puzzled)
Joey: You call that delicious?
Joey: Plus, y'know, I think it should be Joe. Y'know, Joey makes me sound like I'm, I dunno, this big. (Waitress looks at him funny) Which I'm not.
(Phoebe, Joey and Ross laugh)
[Scene: Ross walks into Central Perk, wearing a pink and white ladies shirt. Joey is on the couch]
Joey: Joseph Stalin. I think you'd remember that!
Chandler and Joey: Hey.
Joey: Where've you been?
Joey: Isn't there any way you can keep him?
Joey: (screaming) Why God?!! Why?!! We had a deal!! Let the others grow old! Not me!! (He buries his head in Phoebes lap for comfort.)
Joey: (to Rachel) Bub!!! (Points at her and quiets Rachel.) (To Dina) I cant believe this! Youre the good one! You went to college! Both years! Who did this to you?!
Joey: Ahh, yes. (Pushes Rachel in front of himself so that she could do the talking.)
(Joey enters and looks on approvingly.)
Joey: Yeah, we know, but there's a baby suckin' on it.
Joey: But I made cards!!
Joey: Friends, family, dog... Thank you all for being here to witness this blessed event. The cold has now spread to my special place... so I'm gonna do the short version of this. Phoebe and Mike are perfect for each other. And I know I speak for every one here... when I wish them a lifetime of happiness. Who has the rings?
Joey: All right. (Moves closer.)
Joey: What?
Joey: So, tell me. Was it like you and Chandler, and then you and me, or you and me and Chandler?
Joey: Dude, if you go back out there, youre gonna be Dead Ross!
Joey: Hey-hey, whos your friend? (Erin turns around to face Joey, startling him) Hey!!
Joey: Stegosaurus!
JOEY: I don't know how to tell you this but, uh . . . I think Monica's cheatin' on ya.� I told you shouldn't have married someone so much hotter than you.
Joey: Ohh! (Realises it was all a trick to get Phoebe to name the baby Chandler.)
JOEY: Wow, you are a good friend, 'course the audition was this morning, and I didn't get it. But that was a hell of a kiss. Rachel is a very lucky girl.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Joey are sitting on the couch reading.]
Joey: my god woman! How many people do you have to had been with not to remember any of this?
Joey: What about Andr�?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is eating jam straight out of the jar, and Chandler is staring at him in amazement. Joey offers him some.]
Joey: They're here already?
Joey: Uh, moist, yeah.
Joey: Come on Rach, not again. I got it! Okay? Lets start sailing, and I want to go over there (Points) where that boatload of girls is! (Yelling to them) Yo-ho-ho!
Joey: Weekend at Bernie’s.
Director: Ah Joey. Joey Tribbiani. Listen Joey, I got a problem, I just got a call from my dance captain, he's having a relationship crisis and can't get out of Long Island.
Joey: What, are you crazy? When a blind man gets his sight back, does he walk around like this? (Joey closes his eyes and walks around with arms spread.)
Joey: All right, I'm going. I'm going.
Joey: For the ride.
Ross: Joey, get out of the fridge.
Joey: Do we have to know about that?
(Joey makes a sound of absolute disgust.)
Joey: (Looking at himself in the reflection on a knife) How do I look?
Joey: Can I see the comics?
Rachel: Honey wait, Joey, Im sorry I mean as terrific as I think you are with it (Looks for help.)
Joey: Everything is gonna be fine. Just follow my lead, okay? All you have to do is pretend to be Mike.
Joey: Maybe we shouldnt pay our gas bill? (Stops and thinks about what he just said.)
Joey: Oh, yeah.
Joey: Quack, quack, tweet, tweet, quack, quack, tweet, tweet, quack, quack, tweet, tweet, quack, quack, tweet, tweet, quack, tweet, quack...
Joey: Hey, listen, lady....(sees that she's pregnant)...whoa.
Joey: (to the screen) Shoot! Shoot! Shoot! Shoot, or just fall down. That's good too.
Joey: Oh, oh, oh, sorry.
Joey: Oh, uh, ok. Right this way. All the other pregnant women seem to be goin' in here.
Joey: Oh yeah? And who do you like?
Lydia: Joey Tribbiani. Yes, ok. Hold on. (to Joey) She wants to talk to you. Take the phone.
Joey: Tribbiani.
Joey: I got it from Monica. She sold it to me for a very reasonable price.
Joey: Ok, look, maybe I should just go.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Hyper-competitive Monica, Rachel, Chandler, Joey, and Ross are still playing catch. Monica is finally tiring while the rest of them are totally exhausted and virtually asleep.]
Joey: It is.
Joey: Oh, it is.
Joey: (To some people) Hey! Hey alright! Hey, glad you could make it (Shakes a man's hand) Thanks for coming.
Nurse: (to Joey) Breathe, breathe, breathe.
Joey: Fungus! Yeah. Place is full of it.