words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, has split up his newspaper so Joey can look at the funnies, while Ross's inappropriate joke at Lamaze class has come back to haunt him.]
Chandler and Joey: That's nice.
Joey: Tampa Bay's got a terrible team.
Joey: He should take the sack?
Joey: Yeah, Ross. You and the baby just need better blocking.
Joey: Oh, have either one of you guys ever been to the Rainbow Room? Is it real expensive?
Joey: I'm takin' Ursula tonight. It's her birthday.
Joey: When's that?
Joey: Oh, man. What're the odds of that happening?
(Joey begins to contemplate his ill fortune.)
(Joey looks at his friends, thinks a bit more, then realises.)
Joey: What can I do? Look, I don't want to do anything to screw it up with Ursula.
Joey: Well, if she's my friend, hopefully she'll understand. I mean, wouldn't you guys?
(Joey gestures to show that he wouldn't dare...)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone but Joey is waiting for Phoebe to arrive for her surprise birthday party. Rachel and Monica is telling Chandler about Rachel's incident.]
Phoebe: (Delighted) oh, oh, oh! This is so great! Oh my god! This was not at all scary. Hi everybody. Hi Betty! Betty, Hi! (Thrilled) You found Betty! Oh my god! (Hugging people) This is great. Everybody I love is in the same room, (still happy) Where's Joey?
Joey: (entering quietly) Hey.
Joey: Your sister stood me up the other night.
Joey: I've been trying for two days. When I called the restaurant, they said she was too busy to talk. I can't believe she's blowin' me off.
(Phoebe wants to be angry with Joey, but as she watches him shaking his head in pain and disbelief, she knows that it isn't his fault.)
Phoebe: So... What's the deal with umm, you and Joey?
Phoebe: Joey. You know, um, he's really nutsy about you.
Phoebe: No, Joey.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is playing "She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not" with the petals of a flower, alternately looking hopeful and annoyed. Phoebe enters, but not as herself, for she has changed the style of her hair and make-up to match that of her twin sister. She hangs up her coat, revealing her new cardigan. Nervously, she smooths out the identifying garment, approaching Joey who sits next to the main sofa.]
Joey: Urse...
Joey: ..ah, what're you doing here? I've been trying to call you.
Joey: No, no, no, don't say "listen." I know that "listen." I've said that "listen."
Joey: I don't get it. What happened? What about everything you said under the bridge?
Joey: You don't drink.
Joey: Oh, Urse... (He tries to take her in his arms, but she fends him off.)
Joey: Why? Is it because I'm friends with Phoebe?
Joey: (Thinking carefully) no. No, I, I couldn't do that.
Joey: Then, uh, then I'm sorry.
Joey: I know...
Joey: I don't know whether it's just 'cause we're breakin' up or... what, but you have never looked so beautiful.
(Phoebe smiles, when Joey takes her face in his hands and kisses her. Joey gets up to leave but stops suddenly. Phoebe silently shouts "Oh, whoa!!" to herself, and leans back in the sofa to recover, a hand to her tingling lips. A thoughtful Joey is also feeling his lips, so he hesitates for a moment, then returns for a better view, he thinks again, cocking his head from side to side to regard her profile from various angles, then...)
Joey: Pheebs?
(The door bursts open, and Joey and Phoebe rush in.)
Joey: We just got the message.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone except Joey is there. Rachel is looking out of the window and Ross is handing out some Chinese takeout. There's a small SAP in the corner of the screen.]
(Joey enters, happy again.)
All: �Hola, Joey! (Hi, Joey!)
Joey: �Hola, amigos! (Hey, everybody!)
RACHEL: Joey.
[Joey opens the door]
MONICA: Did they just kill off Joey?
Ross: The wheel has not been my friend tonight Joey. Uh, Ill take another question.
JOEY: Hey.
MONICA: Sorry Joey [runs to the bathroom]
JOEY: Phoebe, this was the greatest thing that ever happened to me.
JOEY: No, that means nothin to me.
Ross: Alright, ok, let's do it. (Ross sits down at the desk and they all gather around him) Uhm, I know we start by discussing the shortcomings of carbon dating... uhm, and then, then I move on to what is clearly the defining moment of the Mesozoic era, the breakup of Pangea, hello! (Rachel and Joey look confused) And then, there's the... eh... there's the overview of the Triassic.
JOEY: Hey.
Joey: Howd it go?
Joey: Great! Problem solved!
Joey: Hey! I'm getting a little tired of this okay? We said we're sorry. It's Thanksgiving for Pete's sakes! A day of forgiveness!
Joey: And scene! Huh? Wasnt that fun? We did a little improv there. Yeah! Okay! So you-you-you-you were saying?
Joey: Unless you wanna practice the Foxtrot again? Or-or the Tango?
JOEY: No, can we get back to me?
Joey: Alright thanks, Oh hey have you talked to Chandler?
JOEY: Anybody want a croan.
JOEY: So, you're not mad at me for getting fired and everything?
ESTELLE: Joey, look at me, look at me. Do I have lipstick on my teeth?
JOEY: Yeah, that was a tricky one. In reality, that operation takes like, over 10 hours, but they only showed it for 2 minites.
JOEY: I'm sorry. See ya.
Joey: Ok whoah-hey... Let me just stop you right there, ok? First, you lied, right? Then, you lied about lying, ok? Then you lied about lying about lying, ok? So before you lie about lying about lying about lying about... lying... (loses count and begins to count the number of 'lyings' in the air but gives up.) (yelling) Stop lying!
Ross: (crying) I hope youre a better father than youre a friend!! (Cries again and Joey wakes up in horror.)
JOEY: Good, otherwise my watch would fall off. [laughs hysterically]
JOEY: Uhh, cause, uhh, I'm a neurosurgeon and that was clearly a case of, uh, uh, foodal chokage. Alright, look, I got to tell you something.
JOEY: What is it?
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Joey and Ross enter.]
JOEY: Oh my God.
JOEY: Ahh.
JOEY: What?
JOEY: So what.
JOEY: Yeah.
CHANDLER: Well don't you see how gross that is? I mean that's like you using my toothbrush. [Joey gets a sheepish look] You used my toothbrush?
JOEY: That's a two line part.
Monica: All right, Chandler get the coats. Erica let's go. Phoebe and Joey, keep packing! Oh my God we're gonna have a baby. All right. We're gonna have a baby! OH MY GOD, WE'RE GONNA HAVE A BABY! Oh God, oh God, I got to sit down, I got to sit down. Ooh! (she's hyperventilating)
Joey: What are you talking about?! I'm the lead in a movie!
JOEY: Ok.
JOEY: Well don't just say.
Ross: Filming Rachel is not something I planned. Okay look, heres what happened, and Joey you-you can back me up on this. All right, about-about a month and a half ago I came to you with a problem? Umm, a personal thing.
Joey: Man! When you said it was a problem about your boss and the baby I figured it was something about maternity leave.
JOEY: Ok, let's start with the cons, 'cause they're more fun. All right, Rachel first.
JOEY: What?
Joey: Thats an idea! (To Chandler) Hey, if I hired an assistant, would-would you take money from her?
JOEY: Yeah, he's just really great to hang around with.
JOEY: What?
Joey: Awww! Mel Torme died.
Joey: (Jokingly) Well, stuffed clams.
Joey: (hides the TV, but he still has an earphone) Just a, uh... hearing disability.
Rachel: There's no room under the bed. (looks around because she can't find Joey anymore)
[Cut to the hall, Joeys sister runs up and grabs Chandlers butt.]
Joey: We broke down on the Parkway, so I have to walk back and get some transmission fluid. And hey, listen could you please tell Kathy that Ill be there as soon as I can.
[Joey shows them the torn-up newspaper.]
JOEY: Thanks Ross.
JOEY: What?
JOEY: Huh?
JOEY: I went.
Joey: Oh! Oh-oh, you gotta pick Joey! I mean, name one famous person named Chandler.
JOEY: I can't watch this.
[Scene: Estelle Leonard Talent Agency.Joey is there.]
Chandler: My favorite part was when Superman flew all the Jews out of Egypt. (Glaring at Joey whos nodding.)
JOEY: My animals. Hey the guy said they suited me, he spoke with an accent, I was all confused. I don't know what I'm gonna do.
JOEY: Hello.
JOEY: I know I would.
JOEY: Hey no problem.
JOEY: What happened to the foosball?
Monica: Chandler! (Joey and his grandmother shush them and wave them away, which they do.) Okay, let me get this straight, it's okay for you to flirt, but not for me.
JOEY: Oh yeah.
(Joey picks up a hammer and a crowbar and gets ready to destroy the table.)
JOEY: He paid a lot of money for it.
JOEY: Nooooo.
JOEY: Not a dad.
Joey: Shhh! Not so loud, we don't wanna wake up, uh...
Joey: (entering) Hey! (Goes to the fridge.)
Joey: Look-look-look you guys, I need some help! Okay? Someone is going to have to convince my hand twin to cooperate!
Chandler: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, you're right. (gets up right behind Joey and yells in his ear) Come on, do it, do it, go, come on!!!
[Joey walks to the door. He stops, turns around.]
(Chandler and Joey enter. Joey is counting his steps.)
[Scene: The apartment in the listing, the guys are checking it out. There's one problem though, it's roughly the size of this computer screen. As they enter Joey lets out a whistle.]
Waiter: Sure. Sure. (Turns away, then turns back) Seconds up! (Joey glares at him.) Not that kind of table. (He walks away.)
Joey: Yeah, were gonna be fine! Get out!
Joey: (from bedroom) WHOAA!!
Joey: Sure. So how long you been... (Goes back to chopping)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Joey and Rachel are sitting there and Monica walks in.]
JOEY: You're kiddin'.
JOEY: Who said it was for you?
Joey: Im gonna go down there and teach that guy a lesson.
JOEY: Do what?
JOEY: Yeah good luck, good luck.
JOEY: Hey, hey, hey no.
JOEY: Hey Rach, you uh, you want some sandwich?
JOEY: Well why don't you just reach out and take his trampoline.
JOEY: Chandler? What're you still doin' here, I though you guys took off.
JOEY: Yeah, whatever you need. Hey, you wanna go home?
[Scene: Phoebe's dad's house. Phoebe pulls up in the cab with Rachel and Joey in the back.]
Joey: So what if he didnt come! We can still go out and party ourselves!
JOEY: How come those?
JOEY: Good.
JOEY: [movers removing a glass parrot] Oh, not my parrot.
JOEY: [in the voice] Hard to say.