words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, has split up his newspaper so Joey can look at the funnies, while Ross's inappropriate joke at Lamaze class has come back to haunt him.]
Chandler and Joey: That's nice.
Joey: Tampa Bay's got a terrible team.
Joey: He should take the sack?
Joey: Yeah, Ross. You and the baby just need better blocking.
Joey: Oh, have either one of you guys ever been to the Rainbow Room? Is it real expensive?
Joey: I'm takin' Ursula tonight. It's her birthday.
Joey: When's that?
Joey: Oh, man. What're the odds of that happening?
(Joey begins to contemplate his ill fortune.)
(Joey looks at his friends, thinks a bit more, then realises.)
Joey: What can I do? Look, I don't want to do anything to screw it up with Ursula.
Joey: Well, if she's my friend, hopefully she'll understand. I mean, wouldn't you guys?
(Joey gestures to show that he wouldn't dare...)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone but Joey is waiting for Phoebe to arrive for her surprise birthday party. Rachel and Monica is telling Chandler about Rachel's incident.]
Phoebe: (Delighted) oh, oh, oh! This is so great! Oh my god! This was not at all scary. Hi everybody. Hi Betty! Betty, Hi! (Thrilled) You found Betty! Oh my god! (Hugging people) This is great. Everybody I love is in the same room, (still happy) Where's Joey?
Joey: (entering quietly) Hey.
Joey: Your sister stood me up the other night.
Joey: I've been trying for two days. When I called the restaurant, they said she was too busy to talk. I can't believe she's blowin' me off.
(Phoebe wants to be angry with Joey, but as she watches him shaking his head in pain and disbelief, she knows that it isn't his fault.)
Phoebe: So... What's the deal with umm, you and Joey?
Phoebe: Joey. You know, um, he's really nutsy about you.
Phoebe: No, Joey.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is playing "She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not" with the petals of a flower, alternately looking hopeful and annoyed. Phoebe enters, but not as herself, for she has changed the style of her hair and make-up to match that of her twin sister. She hangs up her coat, revealing her new cardigan. Nervously, she smooths out the identifying garment, approaching Joey who sits next to the main sofa.]
Joey: Urse...
Joey: ..ah, what're you doing here? I've been trying to call you.
Joey: No, no, no, don't say "listen." I know that "listen." I've said that "listen."
Joey: I don't get it. What happened? What about everything you said under the bridge?
Joey: You don't drink.
Joey: Oh, Urse... (He tries to take her in his arms, but she fends him off.)
Joey: Why? Is it because I'm friends with Phoebe?
Joey: (Thinking carefully) no. No, I, I couldn't do that.
Joey: Then, uh, then I'm sorry.
Joey: I know...
Joey: I don't know whether it's just 'cause we're breakin' up or... what, but you have never looked so beautiful.
(Phoebe smiles, when Joey takes her face in his hands and kisses her. Joey gets up to leave but stops suddenly. Phoebe silently shouts "Oh, whoa!!" to herself, and leans back in the sofa to recover, a hand to her tingling lips. A thoughtful Joey is also feeling his lips, so he hesitates for a moment, then returns for a better view, he thinks again, cocking his head from side to side to regard her profile from various angles, then...)
Joey: Pheebs?
(The door bursts open, and Joey and Phoebe rush in.)
Joey: We just got the message.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone except Joey is there. Rachel is looking out of the window and Ross is handing out some Chinese takeout. There's a small SAP in the corner of the screen.]
(Joey enters, happy again.)
All: �Hola, Joey! (Hi, Joey!)
Joey: �Hola, amigos! (Hey, everybody!)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is eating breakfast as Chandler comes out of his bedroom, ripping his coat in the process.]
Joey: Oh. (Takes off the hat.) Sorry!
Joey: Hey!
Joey: (yelling through the door) Can we come it yet?! Were dying out here!
Joey: How is "Monica, I love your sweet ass," inappropriate?
Chandler: Im right! Right? There was like no chemistry between them. Before they had heat, and now theres no heat! Now you know what this means, Joey told us what this means!
Joey: Okay.
Joey: (shocked) Has it been that long?!
Monica: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Yeah, hi! Mrs. Tribbiani? (Listens) Hi, this is Monica Geller. (Listens) Yeah Im just calling to say that Chandler and I uh, really hope you can make it to the wedding. Yeah, apparently a bunch of invitations that we sent werent delivered. Umm, I guess there was some screw up at the damn post office! (Joey nods his approval.) (Listens) T-Tell me about it! (Listens) Yeah, yeah, the US Post Office? No, more like US lost office! (Listens) What are they Irish?! (Joey gives her a thumbs up.)
Estelle: Joey! Its Estelle! I just talked to the casting people; they loved you!
(Joey leaves and Monica comes up for air.)
Joey: IN LONDON!!!
Joey: How?! When?!
(Joey thinks it over.)
Joey: All right! Man, this is unbelievable!
Joey: But it is a big deal!! I have to tell someone!
Joey: Okay, see that blind guy right there? I'm gonna bash his head in later.
Ross: Oh and you know what, it will be even better tomorrow, because I won't be constantly interrupted by Joey checking to see if they put chocolates on my pillow yet. (Someone knocks on the door, Ross goes to open and it's Joey, Rachel and Chandler).
Monica: Joey!
Joey: (nervously backing away) I-I-I-I did? (He puts a stool in front of her.)
Joey: Well I didn't tell them!
Joey: And Rachel. I would've told you but they made me promise not to tell!
Joey: Many are scheduled to appear.
Joey: No.
Rachel: Joey!
Joey: They know you know.
Ross: (he rolls up his sleeve) Gimme the bottle. (Joey hands him the bottle and Ross squirts some on his arm.) Gimme the towel. (Joey gives him the towel and he wipes it off.)
Joey: Uhhh, Phoebe and Joey.
Joey: Ooh!
Phoebe: God, they thought they can mess with us! They're trying to mess with us?! They don't know that we know they know we know! (Joey just shakes his head.) Joey, you can't say anything!
Joey: Oh, Im sorry, Ross. Ill get it for you right now. And since I made you wait, Ill toss in a free muffin.
Joey: It's not my first time.
Joey: (entering the hall) Oh man! Aren't you guys done yet?!
Joey: All right, lets get me back up there! (Holds out his picture.)
Joeys Date: You must be Rachel, Im Erin.
Joey: So that's it! It's over! Everybody knows!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Rachel, Joey and Ross are talking.]
Joey: Im sorry, I just I like things the way they are.
Joey: Okay. Can I squeeze your ass?
Joey: Hey.
Joey: Hey!
Joey: What? I dont get it.
Joey: (To Chandler) (laughing) Funny one! Thats good!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Ross and Joey are reading Chandlers new vows.]
Rachel: (shocked) You let Joey drive it?!
Joey: (entering) Hey!
Joey: Hey!
Joey: So uh, whats your name?
Joey: Me too! Theres a game on Tuesday do you wanna go?
[Scene: Ross's apartment the next morning. Ross is very hung-over on the couch as Joey enters with a cup of coffee for him.]
Joey: Uh, Entertainment Tonight. [Cut to Chandler] Yeah, okay so, good talking to ya and don't come out here. All right. (Hangs up the phone and poses for that picture.)
The Casting Director: Wait Joey! You didnt need to come down because the director saw your tape from yesterday and loved it.
Joey: Pheebs!
Joey: Oh. (Laughs.) No! No wait, thats weird!
The Casting Director: (entering) Okay uh, we have narrowed it down to Raymond, Ben, Kyle, and Joey. The rest of you, thank you very much.
Joey: Thats weird!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there as Joey enters.]
Chandler: Well, stuff like where we'd live, y'know? Like a small place outside the city, where our kids could learn to ride their bikes and stuff. Y'know, we could have a cat that had a bell on its collar and we could hear it every time it ran through the little kitty door. Of course, we'd have an apartment over the garage where Joey could grow old.
Joey: Thats kinda hot.
Joey: Yeah, I wouldnt know about that.
Joey: Youve seen my huge stack of porn right? (Phoebe nods.)
Phoebe: Joey! (Examining the dress.) Wow, you didnt rip off any buttons.
Joey: I can't decide which route to take to Vegas. Hey, you've traveled a lot right?
Joey: I gotta do what I gotta do, you gotta do what you gotta do, you just do it.
[Scene: Richard's apartment. There's a knock on the door.The listing agent opens the door for Chandler and Joey.]
Phoebe: Or! I should rush through dinner with Joey and I can meet David at 9:00!
Joey: Hi I'm Joey. This is Chandler.
Joey: Listen, you know how uh, when youre wearing pants and you lean forward I check out your underwear?
Joey: Yeah! And-and things arent as smashed down as I thought they were gonna be.
Joey: The silk? Feels really good!
Joey: Hey Pheebs! (He sits down next to her.)
Joey: Oh... food. No, sex. Food! Sex! Food! Se-I don't know! Good God, I don't know, I want girls on bread!
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Hm-mmm.
Ross: Ah. Joey youre-youre having lunch with my mom?
Joey: Nooo!
Joey: No!
Joey: No!
Joey: Yes!!
Joey: Oh no, Ill be done by then.
Monica: Come in! Come in! (Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe burst through the door.) Were engaged!!!
[Scene: Filming a scene from the movie. Joey is dying on a gurney, Van Damme is looking over him.]
Joey: Uhh, because I'm shooting a scene right now. Yeah, I uh, I play a gladiator. Uh, y'know what? Hold-hold on a second. (To no one in particular) Can we cut? Yeah, my-my friends are here, I'm gonna take a little break.
Joey: I think you did.
Richard: Nice to meet you Joey.
Joey: I know! All right, Ill see you guys over there! Im off to fight the Nazis.
Joey: Would she? (He smells something and gasps as he realizes what it is.) You ate my candy bar!
Joey: Im doing my scenes with you?
Joey: Yeah! Me too. (He pats his pocket.)
Joey: Whoa!! Now look, dont be just blurtin stuff out. I want you to really think about your answers. Okay?
Joey: Uh Cookie?
Joey: (wiping his face) What?!
Joey: Is there anything we should know about the apartment?
The Director: Hang on a minute! Joey, you keep touching your face. Is something wrong?
(Joey wipes his eye.)
Joey: (wipes face) So what are we gonna do?! We have no reinforcements! No-no food!
Joey: (To Chandler) I bet it was about her a little.
Joey: All right, it wont go down any further. Its stuck.
Joey: Hey! I am secure with my masculinity.
Joey: Oh sureAnd hey, dont get me wrong, I am so happy for you guys. I just I miss hanging out just-just us, yknow?