words in movies
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Joey is there as Phoebe enters. Joey is holding a baby duck.]
Joey: Hey!
Joey: It's my house-warming present for Monica and Chandler.
Joey: Uh-huh. And I named them Chick Jr. and Duck Jr.
Joey: Yeah, I figure they'll love it at the new house, you know? It has that big backyard. And then, when they get old, they can go to that special farm that Chandler took the other chick and duck to.
Joey: Yeah. It's a shame people can't visit there.
Joey: Yeah, Erica went into labor last night. Monica and Chandler are at the hospital right now!
Joey: Uh, I think she's still asleep. Hey, hey, how did it go with you guys last night? She seemed pretty pissed at you.
Joey: Oh my God. You and Rachel?
Joey: So what does that mean? Are you guys getting back together?
Joey: So, so is she still going to Paris?
Joey: Okay.
Joey: I bet you did!
Joey: Sure, yeah. Will you just keep an eye on the chick and the duck?
(Joey and Phoebe leave.)
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross, Phoebe and Joey are there.]
Joey: Oh my God! What did you say?
Joey: You can't just give up! Is that what a dinosaur would do?
Joey: Dude, I'm just trying to speak your language.
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Oh, you're not taking her with you tonight?
Joey: Ross, wait!
Joey: Could you get me a muffin?
Joey: Hey, you know what might help?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Joey and Phoebe are there. There is a white crib decorated with balloons in the middle of the apartment. Also, there are boxes all over the apartment. Joey is working on something on the coffee table.]
Joey: It's a... It's a "welcome home" sign for the baby.
Joey: No, I sat in the paint.
Joey: Why not?
Joey: Yeah, I know what you mean. I mean, sometimes...
Joey: Damn it!
Joey: You know, the baby can't read, Mike!
Joey: Monica just called from the cab. She said they should be here any minute. And apparently, there's some big surprise.
(They turn back around to see the baby Monica's carrying, but then they realise what the surprise is. Ross, Mike, Phoebe and Rachel gasp and stare at Chandler and his baby. Joey hasn't figured it out yet.)
Joey: (To Monica) Hey, so what is the big surprise?
(Joey stares at Chandler and Monica and finally puts two and two together. He gasps.)
Joey: Oh, they're so cute! Now, what, what kinds are they?
Joey: Hey, that pregnant girl's name was Erica.
(They hug as Phoebe and Joey stare at the two of them.)
Joey: Hey, maybe that's for the best.
Joey: Yeah. You know? You just... Look, you gotta... You gotta think about last night the way she does, okay? Maybe, maybe sleeping together was the perfect way to say goodbye?
Joey: Maybe that's okay. You know? Maybe, maybe it is better this way? I mean, now, now you can move on. I mean, you've been trying to for so long, maybe now that you're on different continents.. (Looks at Phoebe) Right?
Joey: Maybe now you can actually do it. You know? You can finally get over her.
Joey: What?
Joey: Really?
Joey: Yeah, you are!
Joey: This is so cool!
Joey: But Ross, Ross. What do you, what do you think she's going to say?
Joey: Good luck, good luck!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica, Chandler and Joey are there, packing the last boxes.]
Joey: Oh, hey, hey, can I give you guys your house-warming present now?
Joey: Alright!
(Cut to Joey's apartment. Joey looks inside the cardboard box that used to be the home of Chick Jr. and Duck Jr., but they have disappeared.)
Joey: Ah... Chick Jr.? Duck Jr.? Don't hide from mama!
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Joey is still looking for the birds.]
Joey: Quack, quack, tweet, tweet, quack, quack, tweet, tweet, quack, quack, tweet, tweet, quack, quack, tweet, tweet, quack, tweet, quack...
Joey: Okay, I wanted to surprise you, but for your house-warming gift, I got you a baby-chick and a baby-duck!
Joey: Yeah, yeah, they must have jumped off the table, 'cause now they're gone!
Joey: Oh!
Joey: You stepped on my egg roll?
Joey: Just put it on a plate and leave.
Joey: Alright.
Joey: Wait, wait. Do you hear that?
Joey: Oh! They're in the table!
Joey: We gotta get them out of there!
Joey: Oh, oh! Maybe we can lure them out. You know any birdcalls?
Joey: Well, maybe we can just tip the table a little.
Chandler: Joey, wait! The ball!
Joey: Oh!
(The ball rolls into one of the goals, and Chandler and Joey listen in horror as the ball makes its way inside the table. Finally, they can hear the birds again.)
Joey: Oh God! So what do we do?
Joey: Okay.
Joey: Does that mean we have to bust it open?
Joey: Oh my God!
Joey: All right, you know what? We don't have a choice. It's like I would have said in that sci-fi movie if I'd gotten the part. "Those are our men in there, we have to get them out! Even if I have to sacrifice the most important thing in my life; my time-machine."
Joey: It did not.
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Joey and Chandler are still trying to get the birds out of the foosball-table.]
Joey: (yelling) Don't worry, you guys, we're gonna get you out of there.
(Joey picks up a hammer and a crowbar and gets ready to destroy the table.)
Joey: Okay. Here goes.
Joey: I need to say goodbye to the table first.
Joey: Okay. Table, you have given us so many great times. And you guys, Jordan, Victor, Joel... All of you guys. What can I say? You guys make us look good. You wanna say anything?
Joey: Okay, here we go. I can't do it.
Joey: Yeah, they're stuck inside the table!
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Monica has completely destroyed the foosball-table, and Chandler and Joey are holding the birds.]
Joey: Yeah, you didn't even use the tools for most of it!
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Probably not. Nah. I don't know how much I'm gonna wanna play after you go.
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: I'm gonna miss these little guys. It was nice having birds around again.
Joey: What?
Joey: I could get a goose!
Joey: Thanks man. Did you hear that, you guys? You're gonna get to stay here! And, and it's good, you know, 'cause, 'cause now you have a reason to come visit.
Joey: Uh, lame cool guy handshake, yeah.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Joey, Chandler, Monica and the twins are there. Everything has been put into boxes.]
Joey: Yeah. Uh, does this mean there's nothing to eat?
Joey: I love you!
Joey: Hey!
Joey: So did you guys make it in time?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Chandler and Monica are holding the twins. Joey and Phoebe are sitting by the window, while Ross and Rachel are standing together. The apartment is completely empty. Two men are carrying a large dresser.]
Joey: Has it always been purple?
Joey: Yeah. I guess so.
(They all leave the apartment. Joey helps Chandler with the stroller in the hallway, while Monica and Rachel have their arms around each other. Everybody walks downstairs to Central Perk. The camera goes inside the apartment again, and it pans around. We see the keys on the counter, and the final shot is of the frame around the peephole. The screen fades to black.)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is entering to find Joey, still looking like Captain Stubing, on the phone.]
Joey: Dahhhhh!! (Ross has a puzzled look on his face.) No! Noooo!! (Storms off.)
Chandler: Well, she's just so much fun with Joey, I just assumed, she'd still be living with him.
Joey: (Touches the back of his head and licks his fingers) Oh man! I thought I got it all!
Joey: Oh, then pass. (Next word: "Joint session", but time's up, Joey acts very disappointed)
Joey: Wow, what a cool job. (in a machine voice) 'You have two new messages.' 'Please, pass the pie.'
Rachel: Oh! Believe you me! I am going to bring this cake back, I don't even want it in my home... (Turns towards the cake and sees Joey trying to take a piece and yells at him) Joey, don't touch it!!
Joey: Seventeen-fourteen Giants... three minutes to go in the third.
Joey: Big fat goalie.
[Scene: Chandler and Eddie's apartment. Joey stops by. Chandler is reading the paper and Eddie is fixing eggs.]
Chandler: Okay. Okay. (Joey puts him down.) What are you gonna do to me if you get the part?
Joey: No, no, no, don't! I've been waitin' for like, forever to go out with Lorraine. Just calm down.
Joey: Hey! I did it. I called my producer. I told him I had a family emergency, he totally bought it. Thanks for teaching me how to lie Pheebs.
Joey: Of course hes gonna have his Uncle Joey!
Joey: (To Ross in the kitchen) All right, it's another commercial; I still haven't told her!
Joey: All right, thats it! He cannot do this to Phoebe. (gets up) This guy is going to get the butt kicking of a lifetime! (stops and turns around and asks Rachel) But, is he a big guy?
Joey: (there's a gunshot on TV) There's my scene, there's my scene. [Joey on tv] "Mrs. Wallace, I'm Dr. Drake Ramoray, your sister's neurosurgeon. I'm afraid the situation is much worse than we expected. Your sister is suffering from a..." (Does the smell-the-fart look.)
Joey: Hey, Im gonna call her later! Honest! Oh come on, Chandler used to do it! Hed even make the girl pancakes! Plus, hed make extras and leave em for me.
(Monica, Phoebe and Joey release their wind-up toys.)
JOEY: (sniffing the air and then Monica.)� Why do I smell men's cologne?
Joey: I'm sorry! But hey, it's over now, right? Because you can tell them that you know they know and I can go back to knowing absolutely nothing!
Joey: Fine. (looks around, then focuses on Monica)
Joey: Psss, that is whack!
Joey: (having difficulty admitting it) Yeah, maybe.
Ross: (to Joey) It's ok, because they have to get it out of their system, okay (back to Mon and Chan), but you're going to realize, this is the only place, you wanna be.
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Monica is throwing a party. Joey is talking to Ross about the bad audition he just had while pouring booze onto a snow cone.]
Joey: I hate Pottery Barn too. They kicked me out of there just because I sat on a bed!
[Scene: Joeys Bedroom, Joey is having a dream about Rachel giving birth with him as the father.]
Joey: U-U-Um, I think there's been an oversight.
Joey: Uhh, are you saying that you're not entirely happy about this?
JOEY: Maybe they do. I've been doin' this ten years and I haven't gotten anywhere. There's gotta be a reason.
Joey: Yeah, this slow roasted salmon, just how slow are we talkin here?
Joey: And before you know it, she's with him. And you'll be all, 'Ohh, man!' And he'll be all, 'Yes!' And us, we'll be like, 'Wh-whoa, dude.' And pretty soon you'll be like, (sadly) 'Hhiii,' and, and, and, 'I can't go, Rachel and Mark might be there.' And we'll be like, 'Man get over it, it's been four years!!'
Chandler: All right, wait! Come on! Just wait one second! There has to be something that I can do! Something! If we still had that entertainment unit I would get in it for six hours and think about how I let you down. (Joey looks intrigued) What?
Joey: (pointing at himself) Celebrity.
Joey: See ya! All right Pheebs, I am ready for my first lesson.
Joey: (To Mary Ellen) You're leaving too?
Joey: (grabbing the candy bar) Yeah Ill take that.
Joey: Come on, quite yankin' me.
<Everyone is looking around and at Joey with looks of 'what?' on their faces>
Joey: Whoa! Whoa! Guys! Please! Come on! Come on! This is obviously just a big misunderstanding.
(Outside in the street, Joey and Chandler arrive, to peer through the window at Phoebe, by bending down to look underneath the shops signa large steaming cup of coffee.)
Ross: (popping up behind Joey wearing an Indian headdress) Come on, it's fun!
Rachel: Yes. Hi, Id like to order a pizza. Okay, can I ask you a question? Is-is the cute blond guy delivering tonight? Very Ambercrombie & Fitch. (Joey enters.) Ill call you back.
(Joey starts trying to undo her bra, but it won’t go.The elastic band snaps back, hurting Rachel.)
Joey: Uh! That's a tough one. Oh! Wait a minute, this happened to me before! Yeah, I was auditioning for a play and the producer fell asleep and... (pause) no wait a minute... it was me who fell asleep... Yeah I mean hey, Shakespeare, how about a chase scene once in a while!?
Ross: (happily) My best friend and my sister! I cannot believe this. (He hugs them both.) (To Joey and Rachel) You guys probably wanna get some hugs in too, huh? Big news!
Ross: Joey! This is like the last commercial. You've got like (checks his watch) ten minutes left!
Joey: So let me get this straight. If you go with Bonnie tonight, youre doing the smart, healthy thing and moving on.
Joey: What's it sound like? It's a guy with my identical hands! It was incredible! Chandler, the dealer's hands were exactly like me! It-it was like looking at my hands in a mirror!
[Scene: Central Perk. They're all sitting there as usual, except Joey. Gunther is serving a nearby table.]
[Sequence 1: Monica throws the ball over Chandlers head to Joey who catches it for a touchdown, and starts to dance in celebration. Chandler then tackles him, and he starts to dance in celebration.]
Joey: Look, I understand if you came by to hit me, I deserve it.
Joey: You said I had to give you the chair, you didn't say anything about the cushions.
Joey: Thats not, prison lingo, is it?
Joey: (to a woman who came in third in a modeling contest) Sorry! (He grabs her muffin away and returns it to the serving tray.)
Joey: Oh, I do. (Gives her the Joey-love look.) How you doin?
Joey: Listen uh, Im really sorry, it looks like Im gonna be stuck here for a while. I got the transmission fluid, but when I went to put it in the car, the transmission wasnt there!
Joey: Hey, Rach, how you doing with The Shining?
Joey: Chandler? Forty-five minutes? Well, something is not right. I just can’t believe he would do this to Monica!
Joey: Yeah, you can get a Volvo. If thats what you really want.
All: Hey Joey. Hi. Hey, buddy.
[Scene: The park, everyone is warming up for the rugby game. Only Joey and Phoebe came to support Ross.]
Chandler: (Tries to hug Joey but J. moves away) What's the matter Joe?
(Two girls sitting at a table next to them look up in disgust, and Ross and Joey move away)
(In slow motion, Phoebe snaps the ball, Rachel goes long. Joey and Chandler and all over Phoebe, leaving Rachel wide open. Ross starts to rush Monica, who sees Phoebe is double covered, in desperation she throws to Rachel. We see flying through the air, and then Rachel running underneath it, then the ball, then Rachel again, then the ball, then Phoebe, Chandler, and Joey staring at it in shock. Then with the grace of Jerry Rice (no offense to Jerry Rice), Rachel catches the ball, and she stops and spikes the ball. Both Phoebe and Monica erupt in celebration.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, the whole gang is there, except for Ross and Rachel. Joey is trying to eat Chinese with chopsticks and fails miserably. Theres a knock on the door, and Chandler answers it to reveal Rachel]
(Suddenly Rachel clears her throat and the camera cuts to the rest of the gang staring at them. Needless to say Joey and Ross are shocked and slowly turn their heads to see the gang.)
Chandler: (running up) Hey Joey, do you wanna play football or you wanna.. (sees Marhan) Hi, Im Chandler.
JOEY: Yeah. Joseph and his wife, Karen, are thinking of having a third kid... Ya know what? Just did.
Joey: Im sorry Dutch, I didnt get that last little bit.
(And as Joey walks out the door, Richard grabs a bottle of Scotch, just as the door closes and carries it with him.)
(Joey and Phoebe burst forth from his apartment.)
Joey: Yeah. I realized it about a half-hour ago but I didn't want to say anything 'cause I didn't want to jinx it.
Joey: Well all right then, I guess I shouldnt get to excited about the fact (excitedly) that I just kissed her!
Joey: Hey, what if I said, I could even things out for ya, meatwise.
[Cut to another part of the building. We see Marcel jump in through a window and run down some stairs, then Chandler and Joey come down from the upper floor without noticing.]
Joey: (picks up the phone) Hello? Yeah, this is Joey Tribbiani... Oh, hi! Well, I'm glad you liked my letter... No my mommy and daddy aren't home right now... (looks puzzled) Okay, bye bye. (hangs up) (to himself) She was nice!
Joey: Alright, well the rest of you get comfortable, ok, because we're gonna be here for a li...(stops and thinks) Wait a minute, there is a window in there!
Joey: Yeah. I am sorry he's not here too, but I got to say, (takes some nachos from a plate on the seat where Chandler should have been) I am really enjoying Nacho Chair.
Chandler: OK, alright, last minute lesson, last minute lesson. (holds up two cards) Joey... three... eight. Eight... three. (Joey is unamused) Alright babe, deal the cards.
Joey: Like a goalie, right?
Joey: No, no, no more! I cannot lose another dime! Im serious this time! In-in fact, look, theres aI wanna give you something. And let me give it too you know before I pawn it for Cups money. (He rolls the big white dog over) Now, I want you to have the big white dog as a kinda of a, yknow, thank you for being such a great roommate.
Joey: You may be a sissy but I'll still (pound you out on ground). All right, it hurts so bad, I could only let her do oneeyebrow and now... they don�t match!
Ross: (looks angrily at Joey and points at him) I swear to God...! (Joey is in shock)
[Scene: Iridium Restaurant, Phoebe and Joey are looking at the menus as the waiter comes to take their order.]
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's; Joey returns carrying a bucket of chicken, and starts going through the mail. While doing this, Monica's picture falls out. He bends over to pick it up and gasps. While he's staring at the picture, Rachel decides to come over and sees him looking at the picture.]
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Ross is eating breakfast with Joey and Monica. Joey is walking towards Ross.]
Joey: I know, there are gonna be some pasty folks by the pool tomorrow! (A woman goes towards them)
Joey: Hey, you can't say you're breezy, that, that totally negates the breezy.
Joey: How are ya? How are ya? Where are your babysitters, huh? Why's the bedroom door closed?
[Scene: The Theatre, at the post premiere party. The gang is already there, except Phoebe. Joey runs in.]
[Sequence 2: Phoebe throws the ball, and its intercepted by Joey, who starts to run up field. Rachel jumps on his back in order to try and tackle him, but she doesnt slow him down. Monica and Phoebe then both grab her legs in order to stop Joey, who still manages to fight through the tackle and score the touchdown.]
[Scene: Central Perk - Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, Ross and Rachel are sitting on the sofas. Joey enters]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Phoebe and Joey are "updating" Joey's resumé.]
(They start kissing again and, when Joey grazes her thigh, she slaps him on his hand again)
Joey: (pouring two glasses) Hey look Ross, you need to understand something okay? I uh I am never gonna act on this Rachel thing, okay? I-I would never do anything to jeopardize my friendship with you. (He hands Ross a glass.)
Rachel: Yeah, well, I guess I have forgotten about Joey and clearly you've forgotten about Chandler!
Joey: Welcome to New York City! Or should I say "ghe deu flooff New York City"?
Phoebe: Does a dog's lips move when he reads? (Joey makes an `I don't know' face, and looks to Chandler and Rachel, who're also stumped) Okay, no they don't.