words in movies
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Joey is there as Phoebe enters. Joey is holding a baby duck.]
Joey: Hey!
Joey: It's my house-warming present for Monica and Chandler.
Joey: Uh-huh. And I named them Chick Jr. and Duck Jr.
Joey: Yeah, I figure they'll love it at the new house, you know? It has that big backyard. And then, when they get old, they can go to that special farm that Chandler took the other chick and duck to.
Joey: Yeah. It's a shame people can't visit there.
Joey: Yeah, Erica went into labor last night. Monica and Chandler are at the hospital right now!
Joey: Uh, I think she's still asleep. Hey, hey, how did it go with you guys last night? She seemed pretty pissed at you.
Joey: Oh my God. You and Rachel?
Joey: So what does that mean? Are you guys getting back together?
Joey: So, so is she still going to Paris?
Joey: Okay.
Joey: I bet you did!
Joey: Sure, yeah. Will you just keep an eye on the chick and the duck?
(Joey and Phoebe leave.)
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross, Phoebe and Joey are there.]
Joey: Oh my God! What did you say?
Joey: You can't just give up! Is that what a dinosaur would do?
Joey: Dude, I'm just trying to speak your language.
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Oh, you're not taking her with you tonight?
Joey: Ross, wait!
Joey: Could you get me a muffin?
Joey: Hey, you know what might help?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Joey and Phoebe are there. There is a white crib decorated with balloons in the middle of the apartment. Also, there are boxes all over the apartment. Joey is working on something on the coffee table.]
Joey: It's a... It's a "welcome home" sign for the baby.
Joey: No, I sat in the paint.
Joey: Why not?
Joey: Yeah, I know what you mean. I mean, sometimes...
Joey: Damn it!
Joey: You know, the baby can't read, Mike!
Joey: Monica just called from the cab. She said they should be here any minute. And apparently, there's some big surprise.
(They turn back around to see the baby Monica's carrying, but then they realise what the surprise is. Ross, Mike, Phoebe and Rachel gasp and stare at Chandler and his baby. Joey hasn't figured it out yet.)
Joey: (To Monica) Hey, so what is the big surprise?
(Joey stares at Chandler and Monica and finally puts two and two together. He gasps.)
Joey: Oh, they're so cute! Now, what, what kinds are they?
Joey: Hey, that pregnant girl's name was Erica.
(They hug as Phoebe and Joey stare at the two of them.)
Joey: Hey, maybe that's for the best.
Joey: Yeah. You know? You just... Look, you gotta... You gotta think about last night the way she does, okay? Maybe, maybe sleeping together was the perfect way to say goodbye?
Joey: Maybe that's okay. You know? Maybe, maybe it is better this way? I mean, now, now you can move on. I mean, you've been trying to for so long, maybe now that you're on different continents.. (Looks at Phoebe) Right?
Joey: Maybe now you can actually do it. You know? You can finally get over her.
Joey: What?
Joey: Really?
Joey: Yeah, you are!
Joey: This is so cool!
Joey: But Ross, Ross. What do you, what do you think she's going to say?
Joey: Good luck, good luck!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica, Chandler and Joey are there, packing the last boxes.]
Joey: Oh, hey, hey, can I give you guys your house-warming present now?
Joey: Alright!
(Cut to Joey's apartment. Joey looks inside the cardboard box that used to be the home of Chick Jr. and Duck Jr., but they have disappeared.)
Joey: Ah... Chick Jr.? Duck Jr.? Don't hide from mama!
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Joey is still looking for the birds.]
Joey: Quack, quack, tweet, tweet, quack, quack, tweet, tweet, quack, quack, tweet, tweet, quack, quack, tweet, tweet, quack, tweet, quack...
Joey: Okay, I wanted to surprise you, but for your house-warming gift, I got you a baby-chick and a baby-duck!
Joey: Yeah, yeah, they must have jumped off the table, 'cause now they're gone!
Joey: Oh!
Joey: You stepped on my egg roll?
Joey: Just put it on a plate and leave.
Joey: Alright.
Joey: Wait, wait. Do you hear that?
Joey: Oh! They're in the table!
Joey: We gotta get them out of there!
Joey: Oh, oh! Maybe we can lure them out. You know any birdcalls?
Joey: Well, maybe we can just tip the table a little.
Chandler: Joey, wait! The ball!
Joey: Oh!
(The ball rolls into one of the goals, and Chandler and Joey listen in horror as the ball makes its way inside the table. Finally, they can hear the birds again.)
Joey: Oh God! So what do we do?
Joey: Okay.
Joey: Does that mean we have to bust it open?
Joey: Oh my God!
Joey: All right, you know what? We don't have a choice. It's like I would have said in that sci-fi movie if I'd gotten the part. "Those are our men in there, we have to get them out! Even if I have to sacrifice the most important thing in my life; my time-machine."
Joey: It did not.
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Joey and Chandler are still trying to get the birds out of the foosball-table.]
Joey: (yelling) Don't worry, you guys, we're gonna get you out of there.
(Joey picks up a hammer and a crowbar and gets ready to destroy the table.)
Joey: Okay. Here goes.
Joey: I need to say goodbye to the table first.
Joey: Okay. Table, you have given us so many great times. And you guys, Jordan, Victor, Joel... All of you guys. What can I say? You guys make us look good. You wanna say anything?
Joey: Okay, here we go. I can't do it.
Joey: Yeah, they're stuck inside the table!
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Monica has completely destroyed the foosball-table, and Chandler and Joey are holding the birds.]
Joey: Yeah, you didn't even use the tools for most of it!
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Probably not. Nah. I don't know how much I'm gonna wanna play after you go.
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: I'm gonna miss these little guys. It was nice having birds around again.
Joey: What?
Joey: I could get a goose!
Joey: Thanks man. Did you hear that, you guys? You're gonna get to stay here! And, and it's good, you know, 'cause, 'cause now you have a reason to come visit.
Joey: Uh, lame cool guy handshake, yeah.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Joey, Chandler, Monica and the twins are there. Everything has been put into boxes.]
Joey: Yeah. Uh, does this mean there's nothing to eat?
Joey: I love you!
Joey: Hey!
Joey: So did you guys make it in time?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Chandler and Monica are holding the twins. Joey and Phoebe are sitting by the window, while Ross and Rachel are standing together. The apartment is completely empty. Two men are carrying a large dresser.]
Joey: Has it always been purple?
Joey: Yeah. I guess so.
(They all leave the apartment. Joey helps Chandler with the stroller in the hallway, while Monica and Rachel have their arms around each other. Everybody walks downstairs to Central Perk. The camera goes inside the apartment again, and it pans around. We see the keys on the counter, and the final shot is of the frame around the peephole. The screen fades to black.)
JOEY: Are you ok, Ross?
Chandler: Joey if you wanna punch me, go ahead, I deserve it. But I just want you to know that I would never soberly hurt you or your family, youre my best friend. I would never do anything like this ever again.
Donny: You crossed the line. Joey, describe for Gene these things that have lines. Give me 20 seconds on the clock, please. Ready, go!
JOEY: Hey, hey, I just figure Joseph's the kinda guy that likes to mix it up. Ya know, get in there, ruffle some feathers.
JOEY: Hat, milk, got it.
JOEY: No, seriously.
JOEY: You wanna smell him?
Joey: Maybe Monicas playing a joke on ya. Yknow? Getting her own husband a hooker, thats pretty funny.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross is talking to Chandler. Joey is making a snack at the bar.]
Joey: (Spreading his arms wide) Yes.
Joey: (sadly) There will come a time in each of your careers when youll have a chance to screw over another soap opera actor. I had such an opportunity in the recent, present. And Im ashamed to say that I took it, I advised a fellow actor to play a role, homosexually. Yeah, we both auditioned for the part, and uh, as it turned out, they ah, they liked the stupid gay thing and cast him. And now, hes got a two year contract opposite Susan Luchhi, the first lady of daytime television, and me, me Im stuck here teaching a bunch of people, most of whom are too ugly to even be on TV. Im sorry, Im sorry, Im sorry. (he gets a huge round of applause from his students.) Thank you.
JOEY: Yeah.
Chandler: Joey! Joe! (Sees that hes not here and starts investigating. He picks up the bag of chips.) Full bag. (He picks up the beer.) Beers still cold. Something terrible mustve happened here! (He decides its not that important; sits down on Rosita, and the back falls off causing him to flip over.) Oh no-no-no-no-no-no! (Runs over to Stevie.) Stevie, I was never here! (Runs out.)
Joey: Your sister stood me up the other night.
Annabelle: You bet. (to Joey) Maybe some other time?
Ross: Oh, uh, can it wait a second Joey? I have to tell my parents something. No it cant? Okay.
Joey: (concerned) Oh. Whats, whats going on? Is it mom? Is she sick? Is it dads heart? Is that a sandwich?
Joey: Oh well, hey, Joeys loveable too! But the thing about Joey is, if you need him, hell be there.
Joey: Oh yeah-yeah. And I got the duck totally trained. Watch this. Stare at the wall. (The duck complies.) Hardly move. (The duck complies.) Be white. (The duck complies.)
JOEY: I'm him.
JOEY: Yeah.
JOEY: Yes! Whew!
JOEY: Ahh!
JOEY: Heads.
[Scene: Ross' apartment. Chandler and Joey are there. Ross enters with a pizza.]
Dina: Joey, I cant stand the thought of having this baby with you mad at me. I want him to have his uncle. Is my baby gonna have his Uncle Joey?
JOEY: Yes! There's still pie.
JOEY: Oh, yeah, he rode the bus today.
JOEY: No problem. Hey Chandler
Joey: You don't seem to understand. See, I was Dr. Drake Remoray.
Joey: A handsome man enters. (Playing the part of the handsome man.) Hey! How's it going guys? I don't know what you two were talking about, but I'd like to say thanks to both of you. You, (Ross) you wouldn't let me give up on myself, and you (Chandler) well you co-created Fireball. The end.
Joey: (Yelling at Chandler) And that's how I know you didn't watch the tape! (goes back to his room and slams the door).
Joey: No no no, I am not giving you a cigarette.
JOEY: Ok.
Gary: Hey, it's okay. It was just a car backfire. (Joey slowly moves off of Ross.) Hey, look at that! You tried to save your buddy. You see that? You see what he did?
[Joey and Chandler enter]
Joey: How could someone get a hold of your credit card number?
JOEY: The guy still won't put out, huh?
JOEY: Ok. He kept my dollar.
JOEY: Maybe he's. . . gay.
JOEY: But uh, uh, what about uh, Ross and uh. . .?
JOEY: [to Ross] You're getting a cat?
JOEY: Do we need a cake?
JOEY: What?
(Chandler glares at him. At first Joey doesnt know why, it takes him a little bit to figure it out.)
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Joey are sitting on the couch.]
Joey: Okay, here! (Gives him the camera.) I wanna be the on camera guy. All right, first stop, Westminster Abbey. (Joey folds out his "pop-up" map of London. All of the major landmarks pop-up like in a pop-up book.)
Rachel: See, there's always one guy. (Mocking) "If I had a wish, I'd wish for three more wishes." (Joey enters.)
Chandler: I can't believe Joey. I hate being called a liar!
Joey: I don't know, I just always pictured you ending up with one of those tall, smart blond guys, name like.... Hoyt.
Joey: Don't you remember when we were jogging in the park and we saw that really pretty bird and wanted to take a pictureI didn't have my camera!
[Scene: The hospital, Ross, Rachel, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are in the waiting room, waiting for Carol and Susan to arrive.]
Monica: Oh Joey, Melanie called, said she's gonna be late.
Phoebe: (To Joey) Which means she had a couple spritzers and a quick peck on the cheek.
Joey (to Chandler): Look, c'mon, please? It's not like I'm asking for some crazy favour. This is what I do for a living. I am a professional actor! (he glances at his watch and sees the time) Oh, man, I'm two hours late for work! (he stands, ready to go). Look, here's a copy of my reels. It's got all the commercials that I've been in.
PHOE: Hey Joey.
JOEY: And?
JOEY: So, so how did it happen?
JOEY: All right Phoebs, way to go.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Phoebe is settling a dispute between the chick and the duck.]
JOEY: Wow.
JOEY: This man is my God.
JOEY: Chandler, Heckles was a nut case.
All: �Hola, Joey! (Hi, Joey!)
JOEY: Cool.
JOEY: Tongue?
Joey: Hey-hey-hey, hey thats your wife youre talking about!
[Scene: Rosss birthday, his car is still trapped in its spot. Now Joey, Phoebe, and Ross are at the front of the car with Monica, Rachel, and Chandler at the rear of the car.]
JOEY: How come Richard looks so much cooler with one of these than me?
Joey: Wow, Ive admired your work for years. You-youve done some really amazing stuff.
[Scene: Joey's apartment, Ross is telling Monica and Joey about his date with Elizabeth.]
Ross: Than I want mine, too (takes the bowl from Joey)! And if I win I'm gonna put it all into a very low-yield bond.
Rachel: Can I please be there when you tell her? (Joey nods yes.)
Joey: And just wait for Rachel to come back from her date?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica and Joey are sitting at the dinner table. Chandler comes from the bedroom with his suitcase.]
Joey: I dont know! (All excited) I havent totally decided how to talk on my boat yet.
JOEY: You could say that.
Phoebe: Okay Joey? Chandler's here, he was wondering (We hear the dial tone as Joey hangs up.) Okay, I guess he ran out of change.
JOEY: Ross, listen. I got two words for you. Threesome.
JOEY/CHAN: Ohhh.
Joey: So Pheebs, do they know about each other?
CHAN, JOEY, ROSS: No!
Joey: Great! Thanks! Youre gonna love her so much. AndOh, shes the smartest of all the Tribbiani children. Hey, yknow the S.A.Ts?
[Chandler and Joey leave quickly.]
Joey: Kinda have a... a thing for the Days Of Our Life's people.
Joey: Oh, thats, uh, thats Phoebes friends dog. I dont know what his real name is, but I call him Mozzarella.
JOEY: Oh, yeah, I do.
ROSS: Hey, Joey. You wanna open the window?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel enters and notices that Joey has set up a space for the baby where the couch was, complete with a crib.]
JOEY: Yeah, my uncle Sal has a really big tongue.
Joey: Yeah, the ah, trees that dont fulfil their Christmas destiny are thrown in the chipper.
MONICA: So Joey, why didn't you grow a moustache?
JOEY: You got a better idea?
Joey: Yeah, in a poem maybe.
Ross: I will, I will. See, I'm waiting for the right moment. (Joey looks at him) What? What, now?
JOEY: Hey.
JOEY: Hey I liked her, alright. Maybe, maybe too much. I don't know I guess I just got scared.
JOEY: Check it out, check it out. Heckles' high school yearbook.
JOEY: You gave him cookies?
JOEY: Oh my God.