words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Monica are there as Joey is entering excitedly.]
Joey: Hey! You guys! Youre not gonna believe this! I just got off the phone with my agent
Phoebe: Oh my God! (Joey looks at her.) Im sorry, too soon. You go.
Joey: Okay. I got nominated for my part on Days of Our Lives!
Monica: Joey!
Joey: No-no.
Joey: No! Im up for a Soapie!
Joey: No, no, no! Its real! And it has been since 1998. (Rachel returns from the bathroom.) Hey Rach! Rach! Im up for a Soapie!
Joey: Thank you! Well, I guess now I know who Im taking to the awards. (Points to Rachel.)
Joey: Many are scheduled to appear.
Monica: (to Joey) Okay, Ill go!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is sitting in the chair.]
Joey: (pretending to be an announcer) And the winner is Joey Tribbiani! (He then gets excited and goes over to the counter to practice his acceptance speech using a bottle of maple syrup as the award.) Oh Wow! I honestly never expected this. I uh, I didnt prepare a speech. But umm, Id like to thank (Rachel enters quietly) my parents, whove always been there for me. Id also like to thank my friends, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, Rachel
Rachel: Im fourth! (Joey is startled.) Look at you with your little maple syrup award!
Joey: Yeah may-maybe you dont tell anyone about this.
Joey: Really?
Joey: What award are you practicing for?
Joey: Oh, hey listen! The Soapies called today and I also get to present an award.
Joey: Yeah!
Joey: (confused) What you-you dont think Im gonna win?
Rachel: Well of course I do! But yknow, favorite returning character is a tough category Joey. I mean youre up against the guy who survived his own cremation.
Joey: Yeah. No-no I-I know I might not win, but its just Ive never even been nominated before! I want it so much.
Rachel: Well Joey, youll probably get it. But you should probably your-your gracious loser face. Yknow when like the cameras are on you and you wanna look disappointed but also that your colleague deserved to win. Yknow? So its sorta like (Does it, youll have to see it.)
Joey: Hey! (Likes it.)
Joey: You practice losing the Grammies too?
Joey: Ah.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Ross is helping Joey with his tie.]
Joey: Is that why you wanted to tie my tie?
Joey: Whoa!
Joey: Ross has a boyfriend.
Ross: Yeah! I dont know. I mean, last year Elizabeth now-now this kid. What-what-what-what is it?! Am I giving out some kind of sexy professor vibe? (Rachel and Joey both look at him.)
Joey: Howd you get over that teacher?
Joey: (To Ross) Problem solved.
[Scene: The 2001 Soapie Awards, Joeys category is up next and the presenter walks to the podium.]
[Cut to Joey and Rachels table.]
Joey: (To Rachel) This is it! This is my category.
Joey: Yeah, I got my speech!
Joey: Yeah. (Does it.)
Rachel: Now Joey remember, if you win you have to hug me! You hug me!
Joey: Okay. Can I squeeze your ass?
Joey: Kay!
The Presenter: in the category of Favorite Returning Male Character the nominees are: John Wheeler from General Hospital (Applause), Gavin Grant from The Young and the Restless (Applause), Dunkin Harrington from Passions (Applause), and Joey Tribbiani from Days of Our Lives (Applause). And the Soapie goes to (She opens the envelope) Gavin Grant from The Young and the Restless!
Joey: What the?! (Joey pounds the table and starts yelling at Rachel, and which is drowned out by applause. Rachel is desperately trying to tell Joey that hes on TV right now. He finally notices and he does his gracious loser face.)
Announcer: Presenting the award for Favorite Supporting Actress is Joey Tribbiani from Days of Our Lives. (Applause as Joey angrily walks to the podium and eyes the trophy.)
Joey: (angrily and monotone) Any one of the brilliant actresses nominated for this award tonight deserves to take it home. Unfortunately only one can. (Shakes his head in disgust.) The nominees for Best Supporting Actress are from Passions Erin Goff. (There is applause, which Joey disgustedly waits to dye out.) From One Life to Live Mary Loren Bishop (They start to applaud again, but Joey interrupts in with the rest of the nominees), from All My Children Sarah Mchann, and from Days of Our Lives Jessica Ashley. And the winner is (Opens the envelope) Jessica Ashley from Days of Our Lives. (Applause) Uh, unfortunately Jessica couldnt be with us tonight so Ill be accepting this award on her behalf. (Realizes something) And Im sure that Jessica would like to thank my parents who always believed in me. Shed also like to thank my friends, Chandler, Monica, Ross, Phoebe, and Rachel whos sittin right there! (Points at Rachel.) (The music starts and his microphone is turned off, this angers Joey again and he disgustedly exits.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Rachel are entering.]
Rachel: Joey! Why did we have to rush out of there so fast?!
Joey: Rach we had to get out of there because, look what I won! (He whips out the award for Best Supporting Actress that he accepted for Jessica.)
Joey: No-no! No, Im accepting it on her behalf. (He puts it up above the TV to display it.)
Rachel: Joey I dont think you know what behalf means.
Joey: Sure I do! Its a verb! As in, "I behalfin it!"
Rachel: Joey, you have got to take this back!
Joey: But why?! I shouldve won one and I really want it and she didnt even care enough to come to the thing! It could also be a Grammy.
Rachel: (looking at the award) No! Joey!
Joey: Come on Rach! No one saw me take it! There was a whole table full of em.
Joey: No! I want an award I did win! But nobodys giving me any of those! PlusHey Rach, if-if I put it up there (Points to the TV) right? When people come over theyll see it and theyll think I won it.
Rachel: Joey is says Best Supporting Actress!
Joey: I can scratch that right off.
Rachel: Joey no, this is wrong! You have to take it back, okay? You dont want to win an award this way. Youre very talented. And someday youre gonna win one of these for real and that one is gonna mean something.
Joey: All right!
Joey: Ill take it back tomorrow.
Joey: (opening his door) If I cant have it you cant have it! (Rachel walks away angrily.)
[Scene: Silvercup Studios, Joey and Rachel are there to give Jessica her award.]
Joey: Okay wait-wait p-please be cool! Okay? I work with this woman.
Joey: Hey Jessica.
Joey: Ah, this is my friend Rachel.
Rachel: Sup? (Joey glares at her.)
Joey: Uh listen, heres your Soapie. I accepted it for ya. (Hands it to her.)
Joey: Well, that-that-thats it? Youre gonna, youre gonna put it on your self or anything?
Joey: (To Rachel) Take it back?
Joey: Y-y-yeah! (As they start to leave, Rachel pauses and steals a vase with flowers in it.) Yeah you do. (They exit.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Phoebe is entering.]
Joey: Oh!
Joey: Ketchup!
Joey: Oh.
Joey: Relish!
Joey: Paper, snow, a ghost!
Joey: Paper, snow, a ghost!
Joey: Yeah...
Joey: A rock, a dog, the earth.
Donny: Oh, time's up! Joey! You were, uh, almost on a roll there...
Joey: Oh, wow! I'm so sorry, ok? I promise, we'll do better next time!
JOEY: Yeah, unless you hook up with a bunch of pigeons.
Joey: Hey, it's a lot harder than it looks! Okay? (Quietly) She-she-she's hurting me.
Joey: (smiling from ear to ear) Ah-haah! I win!!
Joey: Uuuh.. yes, they are my stuffed clams.
Joey: (out of his Monica character) Very good! Drawing on your own experience, I like that!
Joey: Chickens?
Joey: Enough said, I'm there for you man. Where is she, upstairs?
Ross: Everyone? I would like to make a toast to Rachel and Joey.
Joey: All right, Im here, lets ahh, get this over with.
Ross: Hey... I made up that joke and told it to you! (He points at Chandler. Joey gestures to Ross "What are you doing?)
Joey: (nervously) Yeah...
Joey: Hey, listen to me, listen to me you are never ever gonna be alone. Okay? I promise thats not gonna happen.
CHAN: No, no, see? See? [the printer starts to run] Hey, it's printing. [to Joey, rattled] Hey, it's printing!
Donny: Well, welcome to the Winner Circle. Joey and Gene, you guys ready?
Joey: I-I-I don't know. Types of trees?
Joey: (sympathetic) Oh, I'm so sorry. I don't know any Spanish words.
Joey: Oh, oh, oh... (5 seconds left)
Joey: Things that burn.
Joey: Things that go "tssst" when you put them out.
Joey: Oh, oh, oh... What a dog says.
Joey: Dude, dude! I think you're losing it.
Joey: Pssst...
Joey: (instantly) Pizza toppings, next!
Joey: Where? (looking around)
Joey: Girls Chandler could never get?
Joey: Anyway! Her and Ross just started yelling at each other.
Joey: (To the rest of the gang) Hey, see that? He just needed his pal to come home. All right, uh, Ive got to go memorise my lines. (Starts to go his bedroom) Me and Charlton Heston bright and early tomorrow morning! Yeah-yeah!
Joey: Yeah! You, Chan, and the vein!
Joey: They're ribbed for *your* pleasure.
Joey: So he can't come?
Phoebe: Oh, hey Joey.
Joey: Uh, hey.
Joey: (afraid) Yeah.
Joey: Seriously?
Joey: Oh no, no, no, let your dad get this.
Joey: Look, can I just stop you right there for a second? When people do this (Makes quote marks with his fingers.) I dont really know what that means. (Ross just looks at him) You were saying?
Joey: Hey, you're Mike's parents, right?
Rachel: Joey, do you have peanut butter on the back of your head?
Sandy: Actually studies have shown that the movement and colours help their cerebral development... The whimsical characters are just for us. (He winks to Joey and Rachel. Ross's face says he disapproves. Joey sees that and kind of angrily says...)
Joey: Oh, its a new TV show. Yeah. Im up for the part of Mac Macaveli or "Mac." Yeah, Im a detective and I solve crimes with the help of my robot partner. Hes a, hes a Computerized Humanoid Electronically Enhanced Secret Enforcer or-or "C.H.E.E.S.E."
Joey: Strike three! You only get one more, Mike!
[Scene: Wedding rehearsal dinner. Joey and Mike are talking.]
Joey: Strike two!
Phoebe: Oh Joey, you bummed him out! This was the happiest dog in the world, and he spends half a day with you, and look at him!
Phoebe: Why, do I have a feeling thats not as happy as it sounds? (Joey points out one going into the chipper to her, as this haunty, demonic music starts to play in the background) No! Nooooo!!! (she winces in horror and hides her face against Joeys shoulder, as she sees the tree spit out from the chipper.)
JOEY: When I was little, I wanted to be a veteranarian, but then I found out you had to put your hands into cows and stuff.
Joey: Dont worry man, I get to bring a guest. Well show him.
(Joey comes out from his room)
Joey: I can come back.
Joey: Ewwwww!
Joey: (to Mike) Hello Michael.
Mike: Joey, I kinda have a lot to do today, what do you want?
Joey: May I have a word with you, please?
Joey: It's okay. You know, I totally understand, alright? You guys, make way more sense than her and I ever did, you know. And... I want you to be happy.
Joey: (almost crying) That was ME!
Joey: And remember whatever comes up first. Okay? And hurry, because �
(Mike and Joey come out of Joey's room)
Joey: I'm glad we had this little talk.
[Scene: Joey’s apartment. Rachel and Phoebe walk in, loaded with bags.]
Joey: All right, I guess I can hold out a little longer. Let's have a game.
[Scene: Rachels Room, she is taking the ring out of Rosss jacket, looks at it, and puts it on her finger as Joey enters.]
Joey: (To Henrietta) My friend Rachel has a kid. I totally know nursery rhymes! (makes a thumbs up sign)
(Joey walks in)
Joey: Hey, what are you guys gonna do?
Joey: I don't think they are.
Joey: Yeah according to the news, most of the city did.
Phoebe: No, I don't think this was your shot. I mean, I don't even think you just get one shot. I really believe big things are gonna happen for you, I do! You've gotta just keep thinking about the day that some kid is gonna run up to his friends and go 'I got the part! I got the part! I'm gonna be Joey Tribbiani's ass!'.
Joey: Oh hey, don't worry. I'm still ordained from your wedding.
Joey: (whispering to Phoebe) Okay...
Joey: Oh thanks. Thanks. It was great meetin ya. And listen if any of my friends gets married, or have a birthday, or a Tuesday
Joey: Yeah?
Ross: Uh Joey...
(one of the groomsmen gives the rings to Joey)
Joey: Mike, do you take this woman to be your wife?
Joey: Oh, okay. Phoebe, do you take this man to be your husband?
(Joey has a "Yeah you do" smile on his face)
Joey: Nice. Oh hey, what about Ross?
Ross: Joey, you shouldn't lie on your résumé.
Joey: Well, so, will you help me? I really wanna be in this play.
Rachel: What? Ross and Charlie? (Joey nods) Wow! She's really making her way through the group, huh? Ah, who am I to talk?
Joey: Ok.
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Got it.
Joey: Hey.
Joey: Hi.
Joey: Really? It sounds exactly the same to me.
Monica: Joey. Erica, baby!
Joey: Oh, you know what you should do? You should walk all the way at the top of Statue of Liberty.
Joey: Oh, so we didn't win, but it's fun to play the game, right?
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Phoebe is trying to teach Joey French.]